Offalian News Corporation

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    Terrorism Rampages Throughout Europe

    It struck in The United Kingdom, it struck here in Laois-Offaly and elsewhere in Europe. A 'holy war' is manifesting itself throughout the European Union. RTE were the first news corp to break the news on the attacks of the CACB on the UK Embassy in Frankenhalt recently. The news has shocked many across Europe with international conferences being called to attempt to stem the tide of terrorism. Today Frankenhalt plays host to the first UK-L.O Intergovernmental Consulatations with the city united i8n common European values. Prime Minister Jens Kitchener called the day 'a huge oppurtunity for Europe' with President Concretio set to welcome The First Secretary to Llegendes House for summit and lunch and then to Palacio Real for a state dinner with high rank and file members of the military and civil service. The President said to RTE exclusively that the whole of Europe must be involved in the rebuild and not confined to the high power states. He said he hoped this summit would re-open the debate and widen the perspective of Europe towards newer states.

    RTE is the news branch of the Offalian News Corporation, the ONC caters for enteratinment and music also.

  • UK-Laois 'Entente' cemented in Frankenhalt

    Frankenhalt saw the culmination of the first official visit of a British Government minister to Laois and Offaly since joining the European Union. The visit predominantly discussed the atrocities committed across Europe by the CACB and associate cells. Prime Minister Kitchener who is being hammered in the polls greeted Foreign Secretary Milliband and Defence Sec Ainsworth to Llegendes House and enjoyed a bit of pomp before retiring to discuss anti-terrorism strategies. The visit saw promising signs from both the UK and L.O on how the relationship could be strenghtned in the future. PM Kitchener remarked to RTE saying,

    ' This visit has shown that Laois is making its mark in the E.U by setting and precedent of cooperation and collegiate partnership that will sustain Europe in these coming weeks. I have offered my ideas to Mr Milliband and I am very confident that proposals from Laois-Offaly will feature strongly in the next European Council and domestically I am delighted to say that both our governing parties will feature in the new European Freedom Party, a great initiative for European politics.

    RTE is on recess next week as is Parliament, we hope to bring extra details of the new European Parliamentary Group, the local Offalian elections and the first L.O-German summit.

  • Liberals lose 6 of 9 Town Halls, SLD pick up...

    The governing Open Liberal Party have suffered major losses in the Town Hall Council Elections that were held throughout the regions of Laois and Offaly. The newly formed Social Liberals and Democrats which claims to be close to the New Labour movement in the UK picked up 6 Town Halls on a 15% swing. PM Kitchener blamed a 'disunited approach' to the terrorism attacks in Europe and said that the people wanted a scapegoat as trends point to a Government with a average political freedoms. In a jubilant celebratory rally in the capital Frankenhalt where the SLD secured a 78% majority the leader Franco Foreya said 'change was coming' and promised his supporters and the country that elections will come and will be won outright by the SLD. He also called for a greater European approach to politics in L.O and a stronger people based movement united for change in Europe.

    In other news, The Open Liberals party promised to 'listen' to the people and engage in serious political reforms to ensure proper democratic accountability and promised that it would re-engage with local people ahead of the General Election.

    In Parliament, The Laois-Offaly Green Party staged a mass walkout of Parliament yesterday in response to the Government decision to support further growth of industrial business. They said that the decision 'paralyses' the country's future as a 'green power'. PM Kitchener disagreed saying that Laois is an environmentally stunning area and that landfill has been banned contrary to many states in the EU. The Greens gained 10 regional Councillors but failed to take control of Locknagar Council which they were the Official Opposition.

  • Laois-Offaly in Mourning
    Laois and Offaly today awoke to the untimely death of President Concretio, the second President of the Republic. The announcement was made shortly after 12.00pm and Prime Minister Jens Kitchener made the news aware to his fellow European leaders. A state funeral will be held for Concretio and it is strongly anticipated that he will be buried in Winchester Cemetery just south of Frankenhalt where many famous Offalians and ancient kings lie. ONC will bring full coverage.

    Presidential Campaign Begun
    As the dreadful news seeped through the day to the citizens of Laois-Offaly many high rank people immediately declared their candidacy for the upcoming Presidential Election next month. It is commonly expected that Julia McGovern, current head of the Offalian Health Service will take the reins. In a poll enacted by ONC, many citizens wish for a politically neutral President and Mrs McGovern said she would become a candidate and was immediately backed by the Open Liberals and the Popular Front, the conservative party. It is strongly expected that the SLD will field there own candidate much to the displeasure of the citizens with poll ratings down from the last local election.

    Shy'M to represent Laois-Offaly at EuroVoice...
    ONC held their first EuroChoice program which decided who Laois-Offaly will send to EuroVoice. ONC showcased 15 candidates with their own songs but in a public vote it was clear that Shy'M, the popular female vocalist would represent Laois-Offaly. The song will be released to the European Community at the contest. What's for sure, us here at ONC are very confident!

    Laois-Offaly supports bi-lingualism...
    The Storting (Parliament) passed unanimously to enforce strict bi-lingualism in Laois. Both Offaly and Laois speak different dialects with Irish and English the most widely spoken. It was decided by a joint session of Parliament that road signs and education would revolve around the two languages and is confident that harmony will be cemented by this action.

    That's all for now, our next update will be soon! For now, slan agus bennacht!

  • Laois-Offaly is underway with it's week of mourning for the death of President Concretio. The State Funeral for President Concretio will take place on Saturday 13th August in Winchester Cathedral. The Government will all be present including the entire Diplomatic Corps of the Laois-Offaly. All Heads of State and Government of the European Community are duly invited to the Funeral. Prime Minister Kitchener will be greeting the foreign dignitaries at Palacio Real (The Seat of the President) to recognise the national condolences. The Storting Parliament has been suspended until the next Presidential Election and all Deputies (MP's) will be present. Prime Minister Jens Kitchener will also take the occasion to welcome the Queen of the United Kingdom on her first visit to Laois-Offaly.

    The State Funeral will take place on the Politics and Incidents subforum.

  • Os Corelia win, Laois come 5th and Popular Front Conservatives call for withdrawal

    In the most exciting climax to the Eurovoice contest so far which saw a second win for Os Corelia with U2 Laois and Offaly is reeling after a sleepless night which brought a worthy 5th position back to Laois. Shy'm with Tourne scored 51 points securing 5th position overall with 2 countries awarding the prestigious 8,10 or 12 points. Many Offalians lost out at the betting with Shy'm odds on according to Ladbrokes here in Laois.

    However the Popular Front party staunchly nationalistic and conservative criticised the result calling it a 'farce' with widespread disregard for the minority languages of Laois and Offaly. The Popular Front called for a withdrawal from the contest and asked the EBU to intervene to stop this 'institutional prejudice'. ONC in response said that the next song to be sent to the contest would be in English but said this was not in response to the latest contest.

  • ONC has announced that there will be a public selection of the national song. ONC announced that it is close to compiling artists for Eurovoice which will again be held in Os Corelia. Tabloid newspapers rumoured that NOX were to sing the entry however the ONC said that NOX were 'never' considered and said Laois would be shooting itself in the foot if it did. Due to Government regulations the song will be English after rotating from French in the last contest.

  • Laois and Offaly elect a new President...

    After weeks of electioneering and campaigning in Laois and Offaly, the electorate voted to install Mrs McGovern former Head of the Health Service as the 2nd President of the Second Republic of Laois and Offaly. The Presidential elections which are famous for they're impartiality and independent nature once again stuck to the trend and elected a non-aligned President. Mrs McGovern recieved 82% of the vote ahead of the SLD candidate who blamed infighting in the Social Liberals and Democrat party. Mrs McGovern said she would repay the trust of the billion and more voters who supported her. She said she would govern in the interest of all the peoples. Mrs McGovern is the first Offalian president in modern history with the Offalian interest party saying it was a day to remember. Mrs McGovern will get to work immediately and said she will dissolve the Storting within days in order to achieve a new mandate for the Government. Mrs McGovern said she would attend the final installment of the EuroVoice Preselection saying she was 'rooting for Marina!'

    PM Kitchener calls German Ambassador
    In an extraordinary move yet by the Diplomatic Corps of Laois-Offaly, Prime Minister Kitchener has called the German Ambassador for re-assurance that the election of nationalists to German Administration will not result in a different relationship between the countries and a disrupted European Union. PM Kitchener maintains a policy of discouraging nationalism in Europe. Prime Minister Kitchener addressed the Storting and said that the Government were using Article 6 in the Diplomatic Relations Act to impose visa restrictions on Germans coming into Laois and said that it was withdrawing investment to Offalian Abroad projects in Germany until such time as democracy is restored and respected in Germany. The Storting released a statement saying it will vote to remove the German Ambassador from the state embassy in Frankenhalt but said that with new elections looming it will suspend such action.

  • Laois-Offaly deplore Rhine Ruhr's 'infantile' rants

    In what appears to be a dark shadow over the Eurovoice 07 in Os Corelia, Laois and Offaly faced widespread criticism from European broadcasters against revising the initial banning of Europe wide Eurovoice selection processes. Rhine Ruhr accused the ONC of being 'incompetent' and 'insubordinate' to the EUBC claiming that the ONC had failed to respect the decision by EUBC commissioner. The ONC hit back saying the comment were 'infantile' and said that Rhine Ruhr's comments were similar to that of a dictatorship. Sir Francis DeBoyle, European Secretary said that it was not a matter for the Government but said it was clear that Europe will not become a dictatorship and said the ONC had every right to question the official policy and call a vote. Sir Francis DeBoyle called the comments by Rhine Ruhr, 'idiotic and inflammatory'.

  • Liberals and Conservatives surge in exit poll, SLD faces embarrassment

    ONC: As polling closed yesterday across Laois and Offaly, counters began sifting through ballots and declaring winners in the 300 seat Parliament. Prime Minister Jens Kitchener who is to step down for Franco Forza currently leads the Open Liberals (EFP) into an overall majority once more increased on last time. The Popular Front also look to gain big in traditional and more progressive areas threatening to wipe out the Offalian Interest Party in some areas. It is thought that with an increased presence of conservative MP's in the Storting, Franco Forza's ideas for cutbacks in defence will be criticised and blocked. There are also widespread fears amongst socialists that the poor showing of the SLD will threaten the new party and it's progress in the last local elections. Greens fared almost as well as last time, gaining support on Laois' southern border where nuclear plants have wrecked regional forests, Franco Forza said he would protect nuclear power and criticised the Greens for 'fantacy politics'. Results are incoming but we can confirm, the European Freedom Party will retain a L.O Prime Minister and Cabinet.

  • First Cabinet meeting ends in reshuffle...

    New Prime Minister Franco Forza ended days of speculation and forced resignations from many members of the old Government. Franco Forza said in a press conference shortly after the meeting said the new Government would start afresh and would 'rip up the rule book.' One of the most high profile changes is the absence of former Prime Minister Kitchener who assumes a role as a 'backbencher legislator'. Following constitutional procedure, certain members from opposition parties were included in the Cabinet including prominent centre-right Popular Front MP as Environment Minister much to the horror of Green MP's. Right-wing speculators have said the appointment is a decoy for more 'liberal politics' which they called a 'mindless game, but real'. Franco Forza also said that a summit between Occoron and Laois and Offaly would take place 'imminently'

  • Laois-Offaly break record, to come 3rd in Eurovoice!
    Laois and Offaly has come 3rd in the seventh Eurovoice contest in Os Corelia. The long-drawn out contest which was marred by delays in voting and debate over Europe-wide selections was won by Northern Caeserea with 77 points, coincidentally tied with Marrekechia. Northern Caeserea with 'El Universo sobre mi' recieved the most twelve points and thus won. Rihanna clocked 70 points in the most successful contest for Laois and Offaly yet, ONC were naturally delighted and so the Offalian people. A great victory and great result.

    **The State Visit between Occoron and Laois and Offaly is currently underway with pleasantries being given to all sides, more later. **

  • The Government of Laois and Offaly recognise and welcome the election of a new Chancellor in Germany and wish the new coalition the very best of luck in putting Germany firmly back on the European spectrum.

  • Ruling party left red faced again as Socialists lead pack

    _ONC- As local election results are finalised the ruling Open Liberals party has been dealt another red face in local elections. A harsh response to a proposed move to 50% nuclear power in a economic deal with Os Corelia has damaged the reputation of PM Franco Forza. The SLD or Labour Party made a further gains in inner city and claimed its first rural council. The leader of the Labour Party, left defeated after the last general election resumed the offensive saying the Open Liberals had failed to live up to its promises.

    The Popular Front maintained seats in rural areas while the Open Liberals slumped to its lowest seat number since the Last War of Unification. The Green Party look the biggest hit being wiped out in Frankenhalt and Port Laoise. PM Franco Forza said there was an opportunity for 'bi-partisanship' in Councils across Laois and Offaly and said that the future of the Labour Party would be determined by 'what it does now'.

    The next legislative election is very likely to return a hung parliament, Labour is on course for it's first hand in Government ever and is a signal that the nation is moving toward a more progressive approach._

    PM Franco Forza vetoes Popular Front on Euthanasia
    The Storting has voted through a series of votes that make it legal for the practice of euthanasia in NHS hospitals. PM Franco Forza said the practice remained illegal outside of NHS hospitals and claimed the new legislation would ensure that the practice remained 'controlled' and 'sensible'. In what has angered the Catholic Church in Laois-Offaly, the Minister for Health said that in a secular country the 'Church cannot dictate the Government'. He said that the country had rejected the Church for its inability to change and called for the Church to review its structures and ruled otherwise the people will leave it behind.

    Open Liberals call for 'fiscal coordination'
    In the biggest show of pro-European credentials since joining the Union, economics minister called for Europe to defend its economies by coordinating economically. Open Liberals policy committe also called for a economic regulator run by the Commission to oversee economic dealings in member states and ensure a tariff free trade zone in Europe. Both the Europe Minister and the Shadow Europe Minister said it was imperative that Europe defends itself from 'market fluctuations' and claimed that smaller economies could be at risk from these market moves.

  • Laois first female Prime Minister?

    The Labour Party has chosen to anoint a new leader today in the form of Segolene Rosales. The relatively unknown character nationally has been the Chief of the Policy Directorate in the Labour Party Segolene is a know patriot and social democrat. In her first speech as leader she claimed she will lead the party from the 'centre and only from the centre' and called for a more 'frank approach' to Europe. She said she will run the next election campaign on 'fiscal independence' and argued that 'sovereignty must come first'. She said that the Labour Party would be a force for progressive politics and said the European values we established when joining 'must not be sold out in economic markets'. She promised to radically shake up the Health Service and ensure that private healthcare will be monitored in addition to her committment to preserve spending on domestic security services whilst cutting back on the nuclear arsenal. Segolene Rosales will launch her General Election Campaign soon and is expected to launch a tough assault on the incumbent Open Liberals who have been in power for two terms... opinion polls show that the Labour Party will win with a landslide putting a first female Head of Government on the table of the European Union.

  • 'The Radical Future' announced, radical changes...

    _Segolene Rosales today launched a blistering attack on 'the failings of liberalism' as she launched her party's manifesto for the next election. She pointed to the fact that operation waiting times had doubled and the notion that fiscal independence was being threatened. She called on the resignation of Economics Minister for undermining the economy. She outlined the following:

    -Increase of GDP by 5% in next year
    -Support and increase bi-Lateral Economic projects
    -Free Trade agreements where possible, single market discussion, reform of EEC
    -Referendum on continued membership of EU, 'yes' vote would be campaigned for
    -NHS to remain state controlled
    -No privatisation of gas and water companies
    -Freeze on Income Tax
    -Abortion legalised; same-sex marriages same importance

    The voting starts on Sunday 9th October 2011_

    PM confident of 'good result'

    PM Franco Forza said he was confident of once again establishing a Open Liberal government for a third term although said the prospect looked slim. He criticised the Labour Party for playing with Offaly's position within the EU and called their eurosceptic streak 'bemusing'. He called for a greater privatisation of industry to serve a stronger economy and called Rosales called for nationalisation a stark reminder of 'communism' and 'Marxist drivvle. Polls continue to point to a Labour win although the Open Liberals seem to be finding greater support amongst the conservative Popular Front who are currently embroiled within a expenses scandal.

  • Voting Begins in Laois-Offaly, Landslide Projected

    As Offalians wake up this morning, polling stations up and down the country are opening for voting in what is anticipated to be a a 'game changing' election. The SLD or Labour Party is expected to 'put right' it's last general election disappointment with a clear victory. Segolene Rosales is currently heading to be the first female PM in the nation's history and is promising radical reforms in the economy and in affairs with the European Union. The Open Liberal Party led by Franco Forza which took the helm only recently is expected to crash out with the centre party heading for embarrassing defeat. Expected to gain also tonight are the Green Party and the anti-clerical One People party. Conservative Popular Front Party are expected to maintain their position but could lose out to the Offalian Interest Party who have gained ground on local issues and energy policy.

    The Current Storting

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    Majority for Labour expected over 50 seats

  • Labour sweep the board, liberals slump, huge grand coalition expected

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    As polls closed at 10:00 GMT in all polling stations across the two provinces the fate of the country was sealed for the next few years. An exit poll conducted by ONC predicted that Labour would surpass 50% of the vote and easily have a majority. The Electoral Commission released initial tallies at 3.00pm today and have just released 100% of the results. The results make good reading of the centre-left who will form the next Government. The results were as follows:

    SLD Labour:160 seats, 53.3%
    Open Liberals:80 seats, 26.6%
    Groen!:35 seats, 11.6%
    Popular Front:18 seats, 6%
    Offalian Separatist:4 seats, 1.3%
    German Minority2 seats, 0.6%
    One People1 seat, 0.3%

    The Open Liberals lost 90 seats and were wiped out in Frankenhalt which saw the Groen! rise to second place. The SLD Labour party fell short of their 170 target but ensured a clear one party majority over other parties. It is likely the Groen! party will enter into coalition with the SLD to form a a 195 seat block and a majority of 45 seats. Major losers were the Open People party which took the brunt of an anti-Liberal swing especially in semi-affluent towns. The Popular Front lost out in major rural towns and only maintained their position in the deep country where much of the conservative right thrive. Offalian Separatist failed to make stronger gains and will probably vote with the Popular Front on the budget and energy issues. The progressive centre-left German Minority are likely also to remain independent within the Storting but will vote with the Open Liberals who will seek reelection at the next opportunity.

    Segolene Rosales, the new Prime Minister

    _Her motorcade glided into party HQ to a symphony or cacophony of cheers and clapping as the new Prime Minister took her position as the first female Socialist to win. Her election marks a new era of radical progressive Government dominated by protecting of jobs and intensive economic growth. Ms Rosales plans to hold a referendum on EU Membership within months and plans to pass a 'growth budget' within the next few weeks. In a triumphant few remarks afterwards she called the election a 'turning point' and welcomed a new era ' of growth and success'. She said she will be meeting all her new deputies soon and plans to govern in coalition with the Groen! party. She said she planned to meet with the President soon and European leaders to discuss economic growth. _

    Former PM Forza rings Rosales in congratulation. Franco Forza affirmed he will defend Laoisian and Offalian interests from the opposition benches and said the Open Liberals are in a stronger position that the SLD were after the last election.

  • EU Referendum to take place next week, debate hots up

    _Segolene Rosales today announced the date of the EU In/Out referendum saying it will take place 22nd October 2011. Fulfilling her manifesto pledge she said:

    'the role of Europe is to be proactive in ensuring economic growth and calling member states together. Unfortunately the Commission has done neither and has seemed dormant these past weeks. We are holding two referendums firstly to stay in the EU and secondly to gauge our confidence in the commission. I will be supporting our full membership of the EU but pursuing a vote of no confidence in our dysfunctional commission.'

    Open Liberals leader Franco Forza agreed in principle and said their needed to be a full scale re-establishment of the EU based on pro-activity but said the 'eurosceptic mantra' of Segolene Rosales was 'unsettling and nauseating'. Most parties including the Groen! party are expected to support a 'yes' vote in the referendum and most opinion polls point to a comfortable victory for the pro-EU side._

    Popular Front to play major role in NO campaign

    _The leader of the Popular Front party has made it clear today that the conservative traditional right party would be pursuing a no vote in the country's referendum. Saying the future of the country depended on a no he lamented at the lack of focus in the EU and said the EU had lost the will to fight for the member states. Criticising elements of the EU he said the European Council had failed to adequately devolve power and call for referendums in EU states. The no campaign is expected to poll just over 20% in next week's referendum. _

  • Shock poll says almost 70% of Offalians have no confidence in Commission

    _In a opinion poll commissioned by ONC, 70% of respondents said they would be voting in support of the no confidence referendum in the Commission. The largest anti-Commission poll launched by ONC point to clear disenchantment with the project. Segolene Rosales heading the charge for the no confidence said:

    'the results show that the Commission has failed in its workings. The Commission now needs to act together bringing more legislation and calling leaders summits in order to achieve a more coherent EU. They need to do this otherwise next week, L.O will be sending a clear message of 'pas confiance' to the Commission'

    Support for EU membership however remains stable and the yes campaign is expected to win the referendum next week. Rosales and Forza in a joint yes campaign press conference welcomed the poll and said that while the Commission remains dysfunctional the EU is a boost for trade, the economy and social security._

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