Council Of State Official Hansard



  • Riksdag Excerpt

    11 April 2018

    The recent publication of a book “Who Pays For Government?”, written by internationally famous economist Millicent Freeman, has triggered a public debate about voting rights.

    WESLEY EINSTEIN (Nationalitz): Look, it’s simple. Most things the government does cost money. That money has to be raised through taxes, so anybody who doesn’t pay any tax shouldn’t have any say in choosing the government either. We should make paying at least a specified minimum amount in tax necessary for inclusion in the electoral lists. It’ll reward those who actually contribute to society, and give those who don’t a bit of incentive to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

    BRUCE LOVEGOOD (Green Party): That’s not going far enough! Since state employees are drawing their salary from the government, they’re not contributing anything to the economy either, and they should be excluded from voting too!

    HEIDI SHORE (Liberal Party): No, no, a thousand times no! Voting is the most basic right we have, and election day is the one time when every Montenbourgian, rich or poor, is an equal. The right to vote has to be protected for all Montenbourgians, and election day made a public holiday so that working class people can afford to vote without risking losing their jobs. The dip in productivity is more than justified by ensuring everyone has a chance to perform their civic duty.

    MANUEL BELCHER (Classical Monarchist Party): That’s very stirring rhetoric, but I wonder if everyone really feels that way. So why not give everyone the choice? Make it legal for people to sell their votes, and leave it to them to decide what’s more important to them: keeping their vote, or feeding their family.

    ...

    Decision: Factories grind to a halt every time there is an election..



  • Riksdag Excerpt

    11 April 2018

    Nationalitz party leaders have proposed government monitoring of individual internet usage.

    ERNST HARRISON (Nationalitz): In these days of terror and uncertainty, it’s exactly what we need. Every pervert, terrorist, bomb-building maniac and anti-government idiot is currently online. I’m not saying that we should block citizens from seeing it, but let’s also watch who’s seeking it out. This will give our law enforcement officers the chance to prevent crimes before they happen. If you’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve got nothing to hide.

    KURT SLOMOT (Independent): Well, we should block out that filth. If people want to use the internet, they can view our government-approved sites. Those are swell.

    LLWELYN MIDOTI (Liberal Party): Tyranny is the natural result of limiting information! Someone, somewhere, will always find something offensive — mimes for example. Those scare the hell out of me. But should we ban them? No! Free the internet! We have nothing to fear from free information but pop-up advertising!

    ...

    Decision: Internet is not regulated in Montenbourg.




  • Riksdag Excerpt

    11 April 2018

    A recent article in The Montague Naysayer has exposed a dirty little secret: prison wardens have been quietly exporting the organs from executed criminals and pocketing the proceeds. Enraged citizens, particularly victim’s rights organizations, demand retribution.

    Wolfgang Larkin, holding a black-draped family photo: These murderers took away our families and our futures. The court ordered restitution, but most criminals have no money. These wardens are stealing the only thing of value these criminals still have: their organs! Give surviving family members the remuneration from these sales. It’s the very least you can do after all we’ve suffered.

    CARLOS LENNIN (Nationalitz): They have also lost family to murders and nothing will bring them back to their loving arms. Monetary reimbursement can’t replace what they have lost, but perhaps others can benefit from their loss. We must expand the list of capital crimes to discourage criminals from committing any crimes at all, while providing a substantial source of new organs to our hospitals. Criminals can repay society by helping the ailing victims of organ failure. Let transplant survivors be our memorial!

    ROSHI AMANIRA (Liberal Party): We cannot relieve violence with violence. The solution lies not with taming corrupt officials, but within ourselves. We should not be killing these criminals; we should be leading them. Our prisons should hire counsellors to guide them to a better path of penance and good works. Prisoners can return life with life by tending our crops and feeding the hungry. We must end capital punishment, for the betterment of our own inner light. Only then will we truly find peace.

    ...

    Decision: Condemned prisoners spend hours on meditation techniques and therapies.



  • Riksdag Excerpt

    13 April 2018

    The community has appealed to Montenbourg to increase humanitarian aid to the world’s poorer nations.

    BARBARA MULDER (Liberal Party): First , congrats to our Princess Royal on her baptism, this a good day for Montenbourg. In other words I call the Riksdag that we must increase foreign aid. Compared to some of these nations, Montenbourg is swimming in Monten Pounds. Let’s face it, not every nation in the world is lucky enough to have a government like ours. Let’s show some compassion to our less economically gifted neighbors.

    FINN TRAGARIEN (Nationalitz): Talk about a way to flush Monten Pounds straight down the toilet. What I’ve noticed is that whenever we do give something, it’s never enough: a few years later they’re back asking for more. The best way to help these poor nations is to stop shielding them from the logical consequences of their idiotic, long-debunked socialist economic policies.

    URLS DENOSTER (Classical Monarchist Party): Relief wouldn’t hurt us... if we ‘relieved’ the right countries. We give them a little humanitarian aid, they give us access to their Information Technology markets... it’s win-win. Nothing wrong with a little quid pro quo, especially for a good cause.

    ...

    Decision: Montenbourg has increase its Foreign Aid programs. Now the nation has an international reputation for compassion.



  • Riksdag Excerpt

    20 April 2018

    Sporting events have always drawn big crowds of passionate fans, but those same crowds can bring a temporary surge in crime. While extra policing can be assigned, questions have been raised over who should pay for this.

    SILVIO LIU (Liberal Party): These are big-profit events for the corporations that run them, but they generate considerable externalities which must be paid for by taxpayers,” . “Let the profiteers pick up the extra cost, as guesstimated... I mean, carefully calculated by a department.

    ARCHIBALD SESTERO (Classical Monarchist Party): Excuse me? Since when have private companies been liable to fund public services? If you cut into profits, you discourage free market enterprise, and if you do that, there’ll be less sporting entertainment. And you know what happens when a populace doesn’t get its sports? That’s right - they start thinking about politics, and criticising their social betters. Do you really want that to happen?

    BORIS TRADSVO (Green Party): There’s no need for all this bovver. So we like to let off a bit of steam before and after the match, and have a bit of a scrap. It’s all good fun, and nobody who don’t wants to be there has to be there if they don’t wants to be, right? So why not give the rozzers the day off, and let us sort ourselves out?

    GOLIGHTY VRASYU (Nationalitz): Sports fans are a nasty bunch, but you’ve got to admire their fighting spirit. Come wartime, we could use men of their calibre. Shut down all professional sports, and conscript the lot of them. All that pent-up energy can instead be directed to the national good.

    ...

    DecisionMatches are often attended by police presence with water cannons... just in case. For die-hard fans.



  • Riksdag Excerpt

    20 April 2018

    After the teen pop-sensation ‘Justyn’ is dead, and the police investigation into his brutal murder-by-decapitation has revealed that it was a contract killing, organised through a highly professional ‘dark web’ assassination firm. The Riksdag made a reunion discussing the situation.

    RUTH UBINGER (Nationalitz): This talentless teeny-bopper’s pop music may have been criminally bad, but he didn’t deserve the death penalty! Haha.  Clearly law enforcement is struggling with modern technology. Your Majesty, Prime Minister, members of the Riksdag, if you’re watching, take my advice: spend some money on a decent Cyber Crimes division. Fill it with people who might have failed a stupid physical test, but who have tech-savvy and brains. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, yes I’d love to join up!

    EVAN FREEMAN (Classical Monarchist Party): You can’t police the internet short of shutting it down, and only a loony would suggest that could be an option. People need to defend themselves at the moment of attack! Crazy regulations about so-called ‘reasonable force’ are holding us back. Let the free market arm the people, so that a free people can freely defend themselves! Though obviously, ahem, not for free.

    AXEL JUGHEIN (Green Party): We would like to legalise our little enterprises, so we can move from the dark web and into the light of legitimate business, death merchant apps and micropayment mutilations. We would allow create a small excluded target list, and will always be fastidious with tax payments. Just think on it.

    ...

    Decision: HM Government is doing everything in their hands to regulate, sanction and prosecute dark-web enterprises.



  • Riksdag Excerpt

    9 May 2018

    After witnessing the horrors of both falling crop yields and furious farmers, the Minister of Rural Affairs, Sven-Erik Bucht has proposed state-funded agricultural education to the Riksdag.

    Sven-Erik Bucht (Minister of Rural Affairs): Agriculture used to be the primary industry of Montenbourg and now look at us! Our lettuce is a let-down and our beets are barely pink!. Just send some funding to colleges, and show those city boys how to weed, water, and sow! It’ll cost the taxpayer, but I’m sure they’ll sacrifice a few Monten Pounds for firmer tomatoes and browner potatoes!

    Britney Rhee (Nationalitz Party): Well Minister, that’s one option. But this is such a fundamental sector of our economy that we can’t leave it up to the farmers to choose whether they go to college or not. The government ought to make getting a degree mandatory to enter agriculture. Doctors and lawyers already need them, and can you really call them more important than the farmers?

    Neil Yeats (Green Party): Mandatory degree?! Them college boys don’t know nothing about farmin’ that my old man didn’t teach me! We’ve been tilling this land for seven generations, and by hickory we know how to do it best - we don’t need any guv’ment folks tellin’ us where to plant potatoes or what pest killers we can use! Now some of us farmers ain’t the best, but same goes for those university-educated doctors and lawyers!” He trails off, still angrily waving an absurdly tiny carrot.

    Mamiko English (Independent): You know, all this talk has got me thinking. Montenbourg has plenty of arable land, just perfect for cultivation. But we’re going about it precisely the wrong way. You just can’t trust private citizens with the people’s own food. If we just nationalize the farms, production will surely rise! And with it, the proletariat!

    ...

    Decision: The nation's sends college scholarships for local farmers.



  • Riksdag Excerpt

    9 May 2018

    The Handmaids Teachers’ Union for Betterment, complaining of a steady increase in student disciplinary problems, wants to be able to use corporal punishment to correct misbehavior.

    Offred Dubois (Union president): Clearly, parents aren’t teaching manners at home. All we want is to be able to take a paddle to their backsides when there are problems. It’s not like we want to throw the kids in jail.

    Jason Licord (Classical Monarchist): With all due respect for your freedom of position ,but If there’s a problem, it’s with the teachers not having the skills to do their jobs. They should be tested for qualifications! Not this nonsense of corporal punishment which is against our values as country. I want to know our Minister of Education position on this controversial issue.

    Gustav Fridolin (Minister of Education): Good, I have to say to all of you members of the Riksdag, corporal punishment is not our way and the the bigger problem is that our education system is in need of an overhaul. We need smaller class sizes, more teachers, better buildings, and better pay. It’ll cost, but it’ll pay off in the long run. I call for your support of more funding.

    Sun Baldwin (Nationalitz Party): Hey, excuse me... instead of paying a bunch of money to bureaucracies why don’t we just kick these unruly kids out, and force parents to home-school them? That way parents can stress the values they want their kids to have and give them the attention they need.

    ...

    DecisionThe nation is currently revamping its entire education system. On smaller classes, more teachers and better buildings.



  • Riksdag Excerpt

    9 May 2018

    Wind farms have been set up across the country, generating enormous amounts of renewable energy for the citizens of Montenbourg. However, there are some who feel that they cause more problems than they solve as the Union Against Eolics a pressure group.

    Rick Snow (Union president): Hideous eyesores! All I wanted when I retired was a little cottage in the country; somewhere to pursue my hobby in watercolors - but no, the hippies just had to spoil it for everyone didn’t they? This place was beautiful! Green fields and perfect blue skies! Not anymore, though! These unnatural monstrosities are ruining my damn view! They should be taken down and scrapped!

    Yui Boothroyd (Liberal Party): Oh, cry me a river. Just one of these wind turbines can power over a thousand homes each year and with only a minute fraction of the environmental impact of burning fossil fuels! These people are literally in favour of doing more harm to the environment they’re supposedly ‘protecting’ from wind farms! It’s beyond hypocrisy and very, very selfish. These ignorant villagers should be ashamed of themselves!

    Dana Hansen (Green Party): Perhaps we’re just putting them in the wrong place? We should be building wind farms out at sea! Strong uninterrupted winds and no local residents to disturb! Sounds like the perfect solution, if you ask me. Setting them up and maintaining them’s going to cost a bomb of course but... well, it’s worth it right?

    ...

    DecisionGrand part of the countryside is shrouded by wind farms. But relocating locals to new places.



  • Riksdag Excerpt

    10 May 2018

    After the Citizenship and Immigration Services announced that they received a record number of applicants for naturalization, people have once again begun to debate who should or should not be considered Montenbourgian countrymen.

    Adolf Reinzed (Nationalitz): Well, blood really decides it all. Without the genes that allowed for such historical greatness, our ancestors could never have built such a fine country. To protect their timeless achievements, we must settle once and for all that a citizen of Montenbourg can only come from ethnically pure parents. Other races cannot pollute our citizenry, lest they undermine the very values that the nation depends upon.

    Tamara V. Banks (Liberal): Hey, that’s absolutely horrific! Montenbourg needs to be open to all colors, creeds and cultures that come here to live a better life. Nothing justifies punishing people for having the ‘wrong’ birthplace or family tree. Everyone born in Montenbourg deserves the right for equal treatment! And even if you weren’t born here, it should be easy to join the ranks of your fellow citizens!

    Björk Flanders (Classical Monarchist): Absolutly horriffic Mr. Reinz, and against DACAM's Kings Order. But Anyone hypothetically can become a citizen, but they first need to fully understand our way of life. If you’re not ready to learn the values that are the bedrock of Montenbourg, you’ve got no business being part of our Kingdom. That means memorizing all forty verses of the national anthem and being able to list all 1,024 cantons in alphabetical order, like any true citizen of Montenbourg can. Only those who pass a stringent exam can prove themselves to be true Montenbourgians.

    ...

    Decision: Naturalization process are taking roots for inmmigrants and refugees.



  • Riksdag Excerpt

    17 May 2018

    It has long been traditional in Montenbourg for Members of Parliament (Riksdag) to set their own salary. This has, however, led to a recent vote in which members unanimously tripled their pay. Watchdog groups have spoken out against this.

    Fahd Kelly (Leader of the Group): "Wouldn’t the world be a happier place if we could all decide our wages. Who in their right minds would vote against getting more money with no strings attached? This quite obviously cannot be allowed to continue or where will it end? That money should be used to fund hospitals, not personal luxuries! Well enough is enough! Politicians’ salaries should be set by public vote! Maybe then we’ll see something more reasonable!”

    Lana Rhodes (Classical Monarchist): “I couldn’t agree less. Sure, some people might think that having eight cars and three secretaries is excessive, but I’m doing our country a valuable service. Probably one of the most important services there is: representing the people and deciding what course our country should take. It’s an incredibly stressful job and there’s no way we could do it with lower pay. Members of Parliament ought to be allowed anything they want in return for all they do for Montenbourg. If we have what we want we’re less likely to take bribes too."

    Rod Yeltsin (Nationalitz): “Perhaps there’s a way to compromise. The problem here is that politicians could either be paid too little or too much. What if we paid them just right by paying them according to how well they do their job? Keep a close monitor on the needs of their constituencies and give bonuses for resolving problems and coming under budget. It gives them a proper monetary incentive to do their jobs. Some will have a harder time than others and the whole idea may be costly but if it cracks down on corruption I’m all for it.”

    .........

    Decision: Members of the Riksdag are less to recieve on bribery, because of the salary.


Log in to reply
 

Looks like your connection to NS European Union was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.