UNSR - Czech Slavia Military Parade in Prague

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    Černá felt very relaxed after meeting with her Inquistan counterpart, yet she couldn't shake the feeling that something was now missing in Czech Slavia. Saint Dominico was a city of glamour, Prague seemed so grey and blend compared to it. How could she ever prove to Kligenberg that Czech Slavia is an equal partner to Inquista and is to be taken seriously? She was determined to bring just a little bit more life to Czech Slavia. And then it occured to her, the oldest trick in the book, just throw a military parade! Problem was that Czech armed forces were also not that glamorous.That is why in the end she decided to invite UNSR for a joint military parade. She immediately went to call Chairman Jirluchuz to invite his country. The minister of defense Alexander Bílý was then informed to prepare for a meeting with Nicoleizian personnel to plan this parade.


    The minister of defense Alexander Bílý had his driver park his car in front of the Ruzyně airport.
    "I hope they didn't send many people here, or I'll have to go back to the base by bus. We can't have high ranking military personnel of the UNSR going around the country by a bus themselves." Bílý told the driver. "You could've send more cars comrade minister." driver responded "Yes, I could." minister nodded, tiredness could have been heard in his words. "Well I'm going to make sure they don't get lost." he countinued and left the car to walk into the airport terminal.

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    Minister of defense Alexander Bílý

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    The Nicoleizian People's State Aircraft took of from Cesae Vauvra flanked by two SU-54 fighter jets. Onboard was the Council for the Protection of the Revolution, Cécile Laucre remained in the UNSR to deal with matters relating to the legislature. Also onboard was the President of the Rujonau Socialist Republic, Élisabeth Avril and President of the Romain Socialist Republic who were not members of the Council for the Protection of the Revolution - they were excluded due to their membership to a faction that the TANKIES strongly oppose.

    'Where's my cahfee ?" Sanders asked his aide.

    "Coming right up - what milk substitute would you like today sir ?"

    "Almond milk."

    The aide served him his almond milk, as Kim Jo-Jung shuffled her papers and began to talk. "Sanders, as you know Czech Slavia is by far our most important ally. Together, we control large amounts of Rare Earth Metals which we can use for leverage against the imperialist states. The last thing the capitalists will sell us is the rope we use to hang them."

    "Very good. We must do all we can to keep them within our sphere."

    "Absolutely Sir." Jo-Jung said.

    The rest of the Council for the Protection of the Revolution chattered and discussed the events that would come when they landed in Prague.

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    As Bílý saw the group of ten representatives from Icholasen before him, he began to sweat.
    "Greeting comrades, I'm delighted to see you in such a great number. I must admit I wasn't exactly told how many people would Icholasen send here and I didn't expect this many.. but of course this is a welcome surprise! Please comrades follow me."

    The driver was just smoking a cigarette in front of his car, when he noticed Bílý and the Nicoleizian guests approaching. He quickly stopped smoking and greeted all the guests and then turned his eyes to Bílý "Comrade minister.... we can't exactly fit them all in the car. I can drive four people if you take a bus." he said in Czech
    "Thank you for the insight. Nothing in this country works! They all have the fancy modern technology and they couldn't tell me that the entirety of the island of Icholasen is coming!" Bílý replied also in Czech "Now let's think here, I think the ladies are fairly slim, so two can share one seat. And we also have space in the trunk."
    The driver looked at minister Devitov and nodded. Bílý meanwhile looked at all the Nicoleizian guests.
    "Well and I hope that the people in public transit would not recognize comrade Jo-Jung as a person from Icholasen... and comrade Forin looks fairly forgettable doesn't she? They can travel with me, it is much preferable that the people in a bus will think I have two mistresses then realise that we left a foreign ministers travel this way." Bílý continued. "Very forgettable, comrade minister" the driver nodded.

    Bílý turned to the guests and started speaking english again "Well then comrades, believe it or not but this car is all I have at my disposal at the moment. I would however like to invite comrades Forin and Jo-Jung to go experience Czech public transit, wouldn't want anybody to think that we are building Potemkin village for our foreign guests. To the rest of you, please enjoy your travel, especially you, comrade minister Devitov. We will join you in about hour and a half after you arrive, please check the military museum why we are on our way. Now comrades Forin and Jo-Jung if you would please run a bit with me to the station, or we will miss the bus." Bílý finished and started to run towards the bus station.

    Two hours later

    Ministers Bílý, Forin and Jo-Jung finally approached the military station behind the town of Brandýs nad Labem - Stará Boleslav and the car standing before it. The ministers each got a little plush toy of Krteček as a gift from the museum, two were still waiting for Forin and Jo-Jung. The driver approached Bílý and once again started in Czech "I am payed here to drive not to think, so I forgot we put the little comrade in the trunk!" Bílý just waved his hand and said that it's not a big deal anyways, that it is his mistake for not preparing more cars.

    "I offer you my deepest apologies most honorable comrades, I simply didn't know how many guests are coming. But please follow me to my office."

    In Bílý's office there were two generals, one colonel in reserve and one actress waiting already. "Comrades let me please introduce you to generals Rytíř and Procházka, then colonel in reserve Voda." All three men saluted and then shook hands with the guests.
    "They will help us with organizing the military parade" Bílý said "And this is actress Reiserová. She will play in some computer game. I don't understand that so let her tell you. Anyways she will play a military person there so I let her observe some of my work, to help achieve the acting exellence that they just can't replicate in the capitalist countries."
    "Greetings comrades, I am pleased to meet you! I will play in the Lead and Ovepower game by CUK games." Reiserová introduced herself and then also shook hands with the guests, complimenting minister Jo-Jung's hair once she shook hands with her.

    General Rytíř then asked asked if minister Zamolodchikova is the only soldier present from Icholasen and then asked her what are the armed forces of the UNSR planning to send to the parade.

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    Communist Taylor Swift then went to the central offices of the Czech Communist Party in order to plan the parade. In the office Taylor saw what the Czech had already planned. 'No, no no. This isn't gay enough. Parades need to be very gay. Very. I want shirtless men standing on the tanks doing press-ups -- and flexing !'

    A Czech minister said; 'but that's so bizarre - that would never happen.'

    'Well sweaty,' Communist Taylor Swift said, 'it's what I want to happen. And Jirluchuz wants it to happen too so...'

    There was a pause.

    'Okay, and for the music I'm thinking the classics. Like some songs from my Album, Red. You know because it's like communist themed or whatever. I also have the Moranbong Band on speed-dial. I know those ladies would be more than happy to come over and perform in this little country of yours.'

    There was another pause.

    'Also my good friend Mireille Mathieu will of course be singing 'Quand fera-t-il jour camarade - the anthem of the UNSR. I don't know who will be singing the Czech Slavia anthem, but I hope they're good. Oh, and also, while I still remember, there's going to be a parade of sportsmen.... into my dressing room.' Communist Taylor Swift laughed at her joke, but there was no laughter from the Czechs. 'But anyway yes, there will be sportsmen and women and we want the iconic song Pochod Rudých Sportovců to be played if you can arrange that, gorg.' The 60 year old, weathered man did not flinch at being called 'gorg'.

    Jirluchuz boarded a sightseeing bus which would take him around Prague. He saw that famous bridge, that famous window, and that famous.... arthouse film studio. Jirluchuz was pleased.

    Bernie Sanders, Imelda Wuaulsh and Zamolodchikova went to the HQ to be briefed by security ministers. The UNSR would be keeping the military it was sending for the parade in Czech Slavia after it happened. He wanted to ensure that there had been enough care to ensure they would have logements and soldiers to train.

    The Presidents of the AEN-led republics found a little BoHo bar downtown, with some far-out people, like Ondřej. Ondřej was around 29 and he enjoyed coming to this little bar, and smoking w**d in the basement. When he saw Elisabeth Avril and Anne-Marie David, he was instantly entranced.

    'Ahoj, ladies.' He said, his dark blonde beard catching some of the light from the outside.

    'Hey' they said at around the same time. Elisabeth Avril smelled the weed in the air, and asked 'hey, do you have a grinder we could use ?'

    'Honey, I have much more than that.' Ondřej replied. He took the ladies down to the basement of this bar, where he presented them with bongs, grinders, and more types of weed than a Fremetian allotment. One of the bongs was Eilidh Whiteford shaped, and had been made most likely in her 2016 run for Commission. It was less than flattering, much to the approval of both the ladies...

    Some time passed in this little boho basement, and the conversation moved over to the political situation.

    'So, you're like, Presidents of some socialist republics. That's cool I guess.' Ondřej said.

    'Yeah pretty umm... lowkey.' Elisabeth Avril said.

    'Wild, man.' Ondřej said, taking a toke of marihaña from Eilidh Whiteford's ass.

    'You know, sometimes, man' Anne-Marie David said, 'implementing Marx's ideas is a real drag.'

    'Yeah....' Avril said, agreeing.

    'Like, you try and give the workers the means of production... And they're like woah. And you're like woah. And then you just sort of vibe owning the means of production. But then, people are like.... The state should own the means of production - THE MAN should own the means of production and I'm like,' Anne-Marie David paused to also take a toke from the Eilidh Whiteford bong's ass, 'stop trying to take the means of production away, gorg.'

    'Wow that's so profound.' Ondřej said, gesturing for Anne-Marie to pass him the Whiteford bong.

    Forin, Devitov, and Jo-Jung attended meetings with low-level party officials to establish ties with their homologue party members.

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    "But of course comrades, follow us." general Procházka said before he and general Rytíř led, Sanders, Wuaulsh and Zamolodchikova to a room where they could be briefed about accommodations for Nicoleizian soldiers. However the room was empty except for a young secret service agent Vicanová, who was just applying her lipstick. She stood up and greeted the generals as well as the foreign guests. "This document should cover all the questions about the accommodations that will be ready for Nicoleizian personel once they arrive." she said while handing over a document to minister Sanders.

    "Why is no one else present comrade? Nicoleizian ministers required a briefing, not a few pages of some document, what if our honorable comrades have any questions? Who will answer them?" Rytíř said to Vicanová.

    "I am sorry comrade general but our departement wasn't told that ministers from the UNSR would be coming here and require a briefing. If we were informed we would of course be prepared." was the reply to which Procházka wanted to say that they weren't informed either yet were prepared for any scenario. Before he could finish his sentence Vicanová's work phone ringed and she excused herself to answer it. Her eyes expended significantly once she was on the phone and soon she had to excuse herself from the room completely and rushed outside. Both generals just awkwardly smiled at the ministers and said they are happy to answer any questions they might have after reading the document.

    Bílý was not really sure he could understand Swift correctly. He constantly had to look around at Reiserová and Voda to make sure he understood everything correctly. He was especially confused by the word "gorg", while taking a pause in between talking about his vision of the parade, which was much more conservative then Swift proposals he had to ask Reiserová if "gorg" in fact means gorgeous. After getting his confirmation he just put his arms under his desk for a moment and in a while continued with his vision of the parade seeming without change, but a skillful eye could have noticed that his wedding ring was no longer present on his hand.

    He has heard that Swift was a singer, but he didn't know any of her songs. "As for musics, well.. perhaps you could show us some of your songs? But that idea about shirtless men that I must dismiss once again, that can not and will not happen."

    "I think some of the comrade minister's songs could be used at the parade" Reiserová interrupted minister Bílý "It is not very traditional, but it isn't bad, but the shirtless men really wouldn't work here. But you know where it could work? In Lead and Ovepower! It's a great idea for the game. And while the developers wouldn't listen to actress like me, they probably would listen to you."

    "Comrade Reiserová, I don't think that you could use anything from our discussion in the role you have in the game, so your presence here is not necessary. Could you please leave us and return tomorrow?" Bílý now interrupted her and looked at Voda who seemed really dissatisfied with Swift proposals. Reiserová said goodbye to all present and went to open the door.

    As she opened the door, she saw agent Vicanová on the other side running towards the door. The two greeted each other as Reiserová left and Vicanová entered. They both knew each other as Vicanová used to also be an actress before rising through the secret services ranks.

    "Comrade minister I have disturbing news. During police drug raid two high ranking politicians from the UNSR, that were here on a visit to you, were accidentally detained by the police in a nearby bar." as she finished Bílý collapsed into his chair demanding water.

    "Can you do anything about it?" Bílý asked after getting his drink.

    "I doubt we can do anything about the story becoming a public knowledge, but I will meet with the media reporters and make sure that it can't be linked to their visit to you." Vicanová said. "Thank you comrade." was the minister's response.

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    Message from the Defense Minister of Czech Slavia Alexander Bílý to Chairman of the Communist Party of Icholasen Mirchul Jurluchuz

    Dear most briliant comrade,
    cancelling of the military parade has been annulled. Joint military parade in Prague MUST be held. I sadly can't provide more details about the parade but it is required to promote the unity of the nation. Ruzyně airport is fully under control of those fully devoted to our friendship and ready for the arrival of Nicoelizian armed forces. If anything changes I will let you know. Please send troops as soon as possible!

    Yours truly,
    Alexander Bílý

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