Best posts made by Inquista
RE: Emperor Artabanos's Welcome Back Party
Commissioner Antoni Reynels and Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg arrive in Telum, Inimicus
Commissioner Reynels stepped out of his limousine, thanked his chauffeur, and made his way to the front steps of the Imperial Palace. Moments later, a large convoy of cars appeared on the palace driveway. A series of large and menacing-looking black SUVs preceded and followed a pretty pastel pink limousine. Commissioner Reynels stopped in his place as he reached the top of the stairs, put his hands behind his back, and then smiled. He knew exactly who was arriving.
Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg stepped out of her pastel pink limousine, aided by a massive security guard. She immediately spotted the Commissioner, and then let out an excited squeal and waved manically. "O-M-G! Antoni! Hi!"
"Never ceasing to use the Lord's name in vain," Commissioner Reynels muttered under his breath before letting out a laugh. Even though she could sometimes be an over-the-top character, Commissioner Reynels always appreciated the Archbishop's presence, as her light and excitable personality was a welcomed departure from the bureaucratic drones that he worked with in the Foreign Affairs office.
The Archbishop made her way up the stairs to Antoni and the two exchanged kisses on the cheeks. The Commissioner then flexed his bicep as the Archbishop wrapped her arms around the Commissioner's left arm. The two then entered the palace and were directed toward the throne room.
"It's always a pleasure to see you, Your Holiness," Commissioner Reynels commented.
"Aww, Antoni, you know I don't like it when you call me that! I'm so glad to see you too. How has Europolis been? We haven't seen each other in a while now. Like what, a few months?" Mikaela asked with a sweet smile.
"Yeah, a couple of months. I've been pretty busy, especially this last month. The EPA just hosted their convention, and the Commission elections just finished. The election season has been very busy. It's worth it though, as we'll have an all EPA Commission again."
"Oh great! I'm glad we'll have another woman Premier. Remember when we had that man before Premier Whiteford? Just terrible. He set the men's rights movement back by 10 years. We really should have elected Blair von Shroeder instead of him."
"How's Saint Dominico been? I haven't been home in a long time."
"Really good. Weather has been so exceptional this summer," Mikaela responded as she flaunted her tan. "So much good sunshine. I caught the latest Copala film. I highly recommend it. I went to go see it the other day with Prime Minister Bridges. He was in Inquista and it was a pretty good time."
"Oh? Any tea to spill?"
"Well, apparently he's married to a woman, so all those rumours about him and Prime Minister Aguilar getting it on in that park in Europolis don't seem to be true."
"Ah, a shame," the Commissioner responded with disappointment.
"Oh, I know. I just about cried on the spot. I guess some people just don't know what true love is, even if it hits them right in the face."
The pair finally reached the throne room, traded some final pleasantries, and then departed from one another to mingle with the other guests in the room.
Commissioner Reynels met up with Commissioner Juncker and beamed with excitement. "Congratulations on the election!" Commissioner Reynels greeted with thunderous enthusiasm.
The Commissioner then turned to President Lifejumper. "President Lifejumper, you're looking smartly dressed as always. It's good to see you."
The Archbishop darted around the room, mingling with different guests, with a glass of alcohol already in her hand. The Archbishop passed by Crown Princess Victoria of Montenbourg and dropped her a compliment. "Good evening Princess, you look simply immaculate," Mikaela commented as she walked by, towards Emperor Artabanos all those around him.
Mikaela made her acquaintances with the Austrian delegation, before then turning to Emperor Artabanos himself. "Artie!" Mikaela greeted informally, before beelining straight to his side and offering him a polite side-squeeze. "You're looking great! I must say, I was very, very worried. After an accident like that I thought that you were going to die, or even worse, I thought you might've experienced some permanent damage to your face, but you're looking as good as always."
The Archbishop then leaned closely to the Emperor's ear and whispered quietly. "I've never had plastic surgery, of course, but whoever has done yours, I must say, has done an amazing job. If you don't mind, you should tell Prince Tommy about whoever did your surgery, so he can get the hint. He really needs a new one. Don't tell him I said that."
RE: The Europolis Post
Comrade Sofierce: Why Sofie Čikarová Is The Right Choice for Inquistans
Op-Ed written by Simon Whitakker (also known as SimSimonSays)
Like many youth living in the decadent hellhole known as Inquista, I've grown up knowing nothing but corruption and exploitation. I accepted Inquista's extravagant and rampant capitalism as an unfortunate - but irreplaceable - fact of life. That was, of course, until I played Imis.
Imis opened up my eyes to the glories of socialism, which is an ideology that is much more just, fair and efficient in how it organizes society. I am now an avid Imis streamer. You can catch me designing my labour union building and participating in fun Subbotniks every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday night at 9PM CET, when I stream live on YouTube on my channel SimSimonSays (be sure to like, subscribe and smash that notification button).
As a Imis streamer, I am so excited about the candidacy of Sofie Čikarová for Premier Commissioner of the European Union, and you should be too! Sofie Čikarová is the first ever PEL candidate for Premier Commissioner, and she has a platform that will prioritize the workers of the European Union. As her motto says, Sofie Čikarová is looking to "put some class into the commission! Proletariat class!"
Sofie Čikarová is already becoming known as 'Comrade Sofierce' within Inquistan circles, because she's both a fierce queen (not in the literal sense, of course) and a fierce advocate of the proletariat. Her platform includes support for legislation that will combat tax evasion, strengthen the power of labour unions, plans to provide subsidies to vital and productive infrastructure projects, and subsidies to essential services like education and healthcare. Her people-first economic platform looks to favour all European states, not just developing states, which is the only single economic plan presented so far which could directly benefit Inquista.
Comrade Sofierce also wants to secure the sovereignty and independence of each European Union member state, giving them full control of their own borders and their own foreign policy without Commission interference. Under the current Commission, and among all the other Premier Commissioner candidates, we're only hearing about the further integration of states into a prison of states. It's finally time that we unshackle ourselves from the Europolis elites, allow states to retain their sovereignty, and allow the proletariat to take the lead.
This upcoming Commission election is more important than ever. We can't take four more of months of a Commission that continues to keep workers downtrodden (whether it be EPA, ELDR or MEGA, it doesn't matter - they're all the same). That's why I'm calling the left and the working-class of Inquista to rally behind Sofie Čikarová. We can't elect Comrade Sofierce without our collective voices. The left can never have anything good in Inquista because we're constantly fighting ourselves. I know that Bishop Karinn Lallana has traded some harsh words with her Czech counterparts, but it's time that we put the divisions aside and work together. I call upon Bishop Karinn Lallana to endorse Sofie Čikarová for Premier Comissioner, and all I ask that all Inquistans show her our support. I can't vote because I am only 15, but I will do my best to have my voice heard, and you should too. Vote Comrade Sofierce for Premier Commissioner.
RE: The Europolis Post
Duke Walter Cocx Has Perhaps the Most Appealing and Agreeable Message - But Do People Know This?
Op-Ed written by Lex Burnley
You might not know him, but Duke Walter Cocx is one of four candidates for Premier Commissioner of the European Union. In a rather crowded field of Premiership candidates, with include the likes of Dragan Trympov, Duke Cocx has eschewed rallies and media appearances, and has undertaken a deliberately measured approach to Commission campaigning. Out of all the Premier Commissioner candidates, Duke Walter Cocx has perhaps the most appealing and agreeable message - but do people know this?
In his single media interview with Nuntius Inimici, Duke Cocx explained that he has been deliberate in his approach to campaigning. Duke Cocx painted the blitzkrieg of Commission campaigning as light on policy and high on platitudes, which doesn’t seem to suit his style. Duke Cocx stated that he much preferred to “do my research, get my facts straight, calculate how much my policies will cost and how we will balance the books.”
Duke Cocx also took particular umbrage with the campaign of Senator Kerstin of Leagio, who fell into a particular trapping of running a fast-paced Commission campaign. Without checking the facts, Senator Kerstin spoke at length about a sexist meme which was incorrectly attributed to the campaign of Duke Cocx. Duke Cocx seized on the opportunity to reprimand the Senator, and then detailed his own experience with crafting policy, particularly on the topic of gender equality, where he championed the cause of extended maternity leave, the establishment of women's sanctuaries, and advocated for stronger punishments for sex offenders.
The Inimican Duke certainly has an eye for nuanced policy points, which he touts as being both achievable and realistic, which he contrasts against the lofty ideas of European-funded healthcare for low-income families or European-wide 5G. In his low-key manifesto launch event in Fremet, Duke Cocx revealed a manifesto that was dedicated to balancing the European budget, that would not change member state’s budget contributions, would be “tough on rogue states”, and committed to largely keep Europe’s institutions the same, with the exceptions of repealing Elected and Accountable Council Act and abolishing the European Assembly.
Duke Cocx’s message of pragmatism, carefulness, economic responsibility and incremental change might not seem sexy, but it is a message that could resonate with many in a time when most other candidates are campaigning on grand promises, value-laden and emotional clichés, and vows of sweeping reforms. Unfortunately, this is a message he might lose out on, especially if he doesn’t boost his name recognition. This lack of name recognition could become a point of real weakness especially now that Lady Angela Merkel of Fremet has entered the race, as she’s likely to swerve directly into his lane.
While Duke Cocx is certainly an esteemed and known figure in Inimicus, he isn’t a known quantity in much of Europe. Lady Angela Merkel, on the hand, is a colossal figure with immense name recognition. The former leader of Fremet only just entered the race and hasn’t done much campaigning herself, but she will likely echo much of Duke Cocx’s message – and most will probably credit her with it. Duke Cocx isn’t helped by the fact that Lady Merkel was nominated at a well-attended and televised EPA convention, where she was nominated and essentially endorsed by six different members of the European Council, including the Speaker of the European Council. At the same convention, the entire current incumbent Commission spoke, including the Premier Commissioner, who also gave Lady Merkel a nod of approval.
Will Duke Cocx’s measured approach to campaigning help or hinder his ability to overcome this challenge? Time will tell.
RE: Commission Elections, Aug/Sep 2020
Voting has concluded.
In total, there were 15 votes. Turnout was down by 11 since the last Commission election. The results are thus:
In the third round of the Premier Commission election, Sofie Čikarová was eliminated as Dragan Trympov garnered more first preference votes,
Therefore Angela MERKEL is duly elected Premier Commissioner and Jean Claude JUNCKER is duly elected as Internal Affairs Commissioner, and commiserations to the other candidates.
The new Commission term will begin upon the election of the new ECoJ on September 19th, and will run until January 19th, 2021.
EU Character Zodiac Signs
What are the zodiac signs of your characters? Post below!
The sun sign is the most important sign, and that's the main one that people simply refer to. You can include the moon sign and the rising (ascendant) sign if you're feeling detail oriented.
Now, let us find out who's compatible, who are sworn enemies, and what's the deal with all those Gemini characters?
Mikaela Kligenberg - Libra Sun, Leo Moon, Aquarius Rising (October 12th, 1982)
Juan-Bernardo Fernandez-Velasquez - Aries Sun, Leo Moon, Cancer Rising (April 5th, 1990)
Edward Firoux - Capricorn Sun, Pisces Moon, Capricorn Rising (January 7th, 1976)
Anja Emerett - Pisces Sun, Pisces Moon, Taurus Rising (February 29th, 1976)
Antoni Reynels - Aquarius Sun, Virgo Moon, Leo Rising (February 14th, 1979)
Jesús Aguilar - Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Sagittarius Rising (July 24th, 1988)
Jean-Claude Juncker - Sagittarius Sun, Gemini Moon, Cancer Rising (December 9th, 1954)
Donald Tusk - Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Scorpio Rising (April 22nd, 1957)
King George I - Scorpio Sun, Aries Moon, Taurus Ascendant (November 7th, 1973)
Queen Katherine - Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Capricorn Ascendant (February 5th, 1976)
Simon Bridges - Libra Sun, Pisces Moon, Taurus Ascendant (October 18th, 1983)
Prince William Windsor - Aries Sun, Capricorn Moon, Gemini Ascendant (March 26th, 1992)
Zgeirtan Hulnkrymnazen - Sagittarius Sun, Aries Moon, Pisces Rising (December 17th, 1988)
Helhuan Zihuruthstukur - Pisces Sub, Taurus Moon, Virgo Rising (March 5th, 1949)
Luzrogi Manniltrazen - Aquarius Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Aquarius Rising (February 14th, 1993)
European Union – July 2020 Update
Regional update for the month of July, 2020
Premier Commissioner Eilidh Whiteford (Icholasen)
Commissioner of Internal Affairs Jean Claude Juncker (Spain)
Commissioner of Foreign Affairs Antoni Reynels (Inquista)
Speaker Edward Firoux (Inquista)
Deputy Speaker Marion Rousselot (Gallorum)
European Court of Justice
Chief Justice Andreas Ekka (Fremet)
Justice Frans Svenson (Mennrimiak)
Justice Anne Gruwez (Malborya)
Justice Francois Mori (Gallorum)
Justice Luis López Guerra (Spain)
Unification Talks in Eastern Haane
The Commissioner of Internal Affairs has been invited to mediate talks between the People's Confederation and the seceded cantons in Eastern Haane. The People's Confederation and the new confederation of cantons of Eastern Haane both claim to be the acting and legitimate governments of the country. Commissioner Jean-Claude Juncker has now met with the leaders in Kiel, Eastern Haane's capital, in order to begin the discussion process for the unification of the country.
A Meeting of Leaders
The heads of state and heads of government of the member states of the European Union came together for a multilateral meeting, which was mediated by the Commissioner of Internal Affairs. Representatives from 16 different member states attended the meeting altogether. The leaders discussed various European infrastructure projects, climate change, visa-free travel, international trade, and epidemic preparedness. The leaders also discussed the contentious relations between Spain and Reitzmag, the political situation in Nofoaga, and the security threat posed by the UNSR. While the leaders reached little agreement or consensus on most issues, the meeting ended with many leaders reiterating their belief that the EU should remain united and steadfast in its democratic values, and should take more action in isolating the UNSR. The Commissioner of Internal Affairs was praised for the meeting, particularly for his ability to gather so many leaders together in one place.
Making Friends with Rejects
The Commissioner of Foreign Affairs reached out to The Rejected Realms in order to establish diplomatic relations between the region and the European Union. Embassies of the respective regions have been established in the Rejected Realms and in Europolis.
Amendments to the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen
The European Council is currently debating new amendments to the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen. With Reitzmag leasing lands to the Nicoleizian Government in Exile, the Reitzmic Councillor has proposed amendments to recognise these new lands while maintaining an embargo on the lands currently controlled by the communist regime. Meanwhile, the Council Speaker has proposed tougher measures to further isolate the communists in the UNSR.
Trouble in Eastern Haane
A Council discussion on the latest events in Eastern Haane is underway. Councillor Bourgaize of Eastern Haane has warned the European Council that the country is on the brink of civil war as the country’s cantons and its People's Confederation both claim supreme control.
Net Neutrality Act
Speaker Firoux of Inquista authored the Net Neutrality Act, which was passed in an 8-1 vote. The Net Neutrality Act aims to protect the freedom of internet use and the free flow of internet communication. The main provision of the act requires internet service providers to treat all internet communication and traffic equally without discrimination.
The European Council discussed the recent tensions between Reitzmag and the communist government of the UNSR, which almost resulted in a war between the two powers. The majority of Council members pushed for a de-escalation of the situation, and asked the Reitzmic government to honour their existing agreement made with the Nicoleizians at Nyetthem.
European Health Organization Act
Councillor Evergreen of Malborya and Speaker Firoux of Inquista proposed the European Health Organization Act. The act establishes the European Health Organization (EHO) to monitor, research and collect data on public health, and coordinate responses to public health risks. The act was passed in a 10-0 vote.
Ocean Protection Act
The Council Speaker proposed the Ocean Protection Act, which was passed in a 5-0 vote. The act seeks to preserve Europe’s oceans as viable ecosystems by reducing the amount of pollution caused by human activity. The act requires member states to cease the dumping of waste and sewage into oceans, minimize oil and other spillages, ban the use of single-hulled oil tankers, and it designates certain areas as sensitive oceanic ecosystems (SOE) which prohibit commercial activity.
Amendments to the European Budget Act
Councillor Van Allen of Reitzmag attempted to amend the European Budget Act. The initially proposed amendments sought to divert budget-making powers away from the European Council to the European Central Bank, but those amendments were later amended and watered-down to a series of amendments that made little changes. Ultimately, the amendments were later withdrawn by the Reitzmic Councillor.
Council Committee on Political Freedoms
Councillor Bourgaize of Eastern Haane proposed his Act for the Creation of a Council Committee on Political Freedoms, which mirrored a similar proposal he had made in the past. The act sought to create a committee on classifying and evaluating the democratic integrity of the European Union’s member states. The act was defeated in a 4-7 vote.
Amendments to the European Heritage Site Act
The European Heritage Site Act was amended twice this month, the first time by Councillor Tusk of Spain, and then again later by Speaker Firoux of Inquista. The first round of amendments shifted the majority of budgetary responsibility for the European Heritage Sites from the European Union to the governments of the member states themselves, which was passed in a close 3-2 vote. The second round of amendments clarified the language of the act, which passed 5-1.
Repeal, Repeal, Repeal, Repeal
Speaker Firoux proposed a singular motion to repeal four separate pieces of legislation: the European Common Culture and Education Act, Refugee Protection Act, European Finance Agency Act and the Committee Reform Act. The pieces of legislation were argued to be ineffective, unnecessary and too commonly disregarded. The repeals were passed in a 9-0 vote.
European Court of Justice
Andries van Hoebeek v. The Keil Workers' Council
Former Supreme Councillor Andries van Hoebeek of Eastern Haane has taken the Kiel Workers' Council to the European Court of Justice for violating his right to habeas corpus and his right to a fair trial (Section IX and X of the European Union’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights). The appellant and the respondent have completed making their opening rebuttals.
News From Around Europe
A Supersonic Disaster… Or A Supersonic Plot?
The test flight of Needletail One, the first ever supersonic aircraft of Inimicus, ended in disaster. The aircraft, which was also carrying the country’s Emperor and several other high-ranking members of government, caught on fire as it performed an emergency landing. Emperor Artabanos was left in critical condition, but survived the crash. The Emperor is currently in recovery. 34 people died and 14 were wounded in the incident. It was initially believed that the Needletail One suffered from mechanical failure, but new evidence is emerging that a projectile was the cause of the incident.
Sharing Is Caring
The government of Reitzmag has agreed to lease lands to Icholasen's Government in Exile until the rest of the country has been returned to democratic rule. The leased lands include the highly prized territory of Copala City.
A Nation Divided
Extreme partisanship between various leaders of Eastern Haane resulted in heavy division within the country’s legislative assemblies. The sharp divide in partisanship resulted in a car bombing in the city of Calais, which injured one of Eastern Haane’s major leaders. On the same day, State Elder Comtois ordered the dissolution of the country’s legislative assemblies, and then proceeded to commit suicide shortly afterward. State Elder Comtois’ order was negated, as she was ruled to have been not in the right state of mind, and the country’s legislatures did not dissolve themselves. Many members of the country’s workers' councils were then recalled, and the Confederation Council of Eastern Haane, the country’s highest political body, nationalized many of the country’s key industries. All 29 of the country’s cantons have now declared independence. The country’s cantons and the Confederation Council are now in a stalemate as they both claim to be in control. Meanwhile, the State of Haane-Keste could secede from the country entirely, as a result of long-standing issues among its heavily indigenous population.
No, We’re Not Doing That
This month saw President Nikola N'nago of Nofoaga order new parliamentary elections for the country, and his decision to resign from his position as president. Lula Namatatiki, the Speaker of the National Assembly of Nofoaga, was made the interim President of the country. Now, four weeks into her term, President Lula Namatatiki has cancelled the upcoming parliamentary elections. The Constitutional Court of Nofoaga has ruled that President Lula Namatatiki has acted in proper accordance of the law.
Stop Right There Criminal Scum
A cargo ship docked in Port Hilson, Leagio, was recently found to be carrying uranium. The ship, known as the Romain – named after the Romain region of Icholasen – was believed to be in the process of smuggling the uranium from Leagio to the UNSR. Trade between UNSR and Leagio is currently prohibited, and thus those on board of the ship have been charged with smuggling nuclear material, illegal trade and fraud sailing.
By-elections in Inimicus
By-elections in Inimicus are underway for its National Imperial Council. After the crash landing of the supersonic Needletail One, four Imperial Councillors tragically passed away in the incident. Their seats are now vacant and are being contested. A new populist movement simply known as the "Emperor's Finest” are challenging the country’s traditional parties for the empty seats.
Councillor Election in Vayinaod
Incumbent Councillor of Vayinaod to the European Union, Carita Falk, cruised to an easy victory in the country’s most recent European Councillor election. Councillor Falk received 66% of the vote, while her opponents Diana Voll and Avi Ovesen received 17% and 15% of the vote respectively.
Another Councillor Election, Another One Dead
Leagio held the first round of its election for its Councillor to the European Union. Incumbent Councillor Francis Plessis of the Civil Populist Party came out on top with 33% of the vote, and will go up against second-place Marie-Laure Lahaye of the Progressive Alliance Party, who won 32% of the vote. Hugo Walthelet, the candidate from Social Democratic Party, who came in last place with 2.76% of the vote, was found murdered within his party headquarters days later. The second round of the election will take place in August.
Council Speaker Edward Firoux of Inquista has been wed to former Premier Commissioner Gisela Stuart of Angleter. The couple were wed at a private ceremony in New Birmingham, Angleter. The wedding was described as “like a fairy tale out of story book.”
¡Oh, El Escándalo!
It has been revealed that King Juan Carlos of Spain received approximately €100 million in donations from various countries in 2008. Much of this money has been transferred to differing tax heavens, and has never previously been declared to Spanish authorities. This information was retrieved from Corinna Larsen, King Juan Carlos' former secret lover, who was kidnapped by vigilante Spanish authorities while hiding out in Saint Dominico, Inquista.
The Beef Is Boiling
Tensions rose between Reitzmag and the UNSR, which almost resulted in full-scale conflict. The renewed tensions began as the government of Reitzmag backtracked on its recognition of the UNSR, which seemed to contradict the peace accords made between the two countries (and others) at Nyetthem. The UNSR reacted to the news by launching an ICBM into the Caspian Sea, near Reitzmag, and another into space, which almost hit the Reitzmic Cansey Space Station. A state of emergency was declared in Reitzmag. The government of Reitzmag has not recognised the UNSR, but it has paid a sum of money owed to the UNSR as stipulated by the Nyetthem Accords.
Europe’s Sexiest Man Alive
Speaker Firoux has been named the Sexiest Man Alive for 2020 by Vogue Varda, one of the leading fashion publications of Vayinaod. As part of his reward for being named Sexiest Man Alive, the Speaker won a tremendous ₭1.5 million (€2.985 million) prize, which he donated to various environmental causes in Vayinaod, Spain, Fremet and the Duxburian Union.
Spain has imposed taxes on cargo ships which cross the Strait of Gibraltar and the Strait of Adventuranza.
There is Only One Lord… And That Ain’t You
Cécile Laucre, the TANKIE leader of Icholasen’s Ausnat, passed her bill to ban land lords in the UNSR. '”Landlords - what do they really do?” she asked the Ausnat. The bill was passed through both chambers of the Socialist Congress and was signed into law by the Korojaunu.
Muale Becomes A State
The National Congress of Leagio has agreed to provide full statehood to its territory of Muale. However, like all good things, there is a catch. The former territory would lose its northern counties surrounding its capital district, which will become the new Territory of Wilson, while the rest of the territory will become the State of Muale.
The UNSR and Inquista both released new budgets for their respective states, both of which included significantly larger expenditure for their militaries. Inquistan military spending went from 9% to 14.5% of the national budget, while military spending increased to 19% of the national budget in the UNSR. Some Inqusitan bishops have voiced their concern about the arms race between the country and the UNSR.
You Probably haven’t Heard of It, It’s Very Underground
An underground settlement has been uncovered in Bonidelva National Park in Malborya. 80 individuals were found to be living in the underground settlement, who were all then detained for questioning. 48 of the individuals have since been released. Days prior to the discovery of the settlement, a 14 year old boy was found dead in Bonidelva National Park.
Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side
Czech Slavia has increased its border fortification with neighbouring Malborya, with hopes to prevent border crossings between the two countries. Czech experts believe that the increased fortifications are likely a result of Inquista’s Communist Refugee Program, which may be attracting some Czechs to move to Inquista via Malborya.
Crusade Against Corrupt Acquisitions
Major General Max Karstensen, Commander of Vayinaod’s Air Corps' Air Material and Test Command, admitted that the Air Corps' acquisition program for airplane upgrades and overhauls was flawed and filled with corruption. An independent commission is being called to conduct a review of all acquisitions over the last four years. Archkonsul Kristian Nylund has vowed that there will be no tolerance for further corruption and bribery.
July saw Reitzmag launch two separate Falcon 9 rockets into space. Both rockets were launched as part of the SpaceX Program, headed by Elon Musk, who has been named by the European Internal Affairs Commissioner as the new Director of the European Space Agency.
Take Us To Mars
The space programs of Vayinaod and Fremet successfully conducted the launch of their joint Mars orbiter and rover project. After failing to launch the project during the last transfer window nearly three years ago, the two space programs successfully utilized a modified version of the Chariot B launch system to send the Mars Imaging, Reconnaissance, Atmospheric (MIRA) Orbiter, and rover named Eftirför.
Still Taking the Long, Scenic, Democratic Route
The federal election saga continues to unfold at a snail pace in Fremet. The final part of the national leader’s debate took place in July, in which the leaders of the top 7 political parties gave their pitches as to why they deserve the support of Fremetian voters. Europeans are beginning to wonder if the Fremetian election is going the way of the Tour of Angleter, but they remain cautiously optimistic.
Sport and Culture
In order to re-live their glory days and instill communist nostalgia into Nicoleizians, the national broadcaster of the UNSR has decided to re-air the 1985 edition of EuroVoice, which took place in their country. The broadcast has been picked up around Europe, and now Europeans are tuning into the 1985 EuroVoice competition and fondly remembering their own country’s performance in the contest. Stay tuned to find out who won EuroVoice 1985… which already happened…
The European Union has agreed to participate in the 10000 Islands’ first-ever Tacovision contest as a united team. In order to select the European Union’s entry, a selection contest was organized with the 9 most recent winners of the EuroVoice competition. In the end, George Ezra of Angleter (winner of EuroVoice 32) was selected to represent the EU in TacoVoice. We’re cheering you on, George!
The second round of the Eurocook competition is underway in Leagio. For the second challenge, participating teams have been tasked with preparing a dinner dish for the judges.
This regional update has been issued by the Commissioner of Foreign Affairs.
RE: EPA Convention 2020
The audience clap and cheer as Sofia Vergara takes to the stage.
"¡Hola Europa! Mi nombre es Sofia Vergara. I will be your host for this first day of this historic EPA convention. Welcome to Europolis. We're all gathered here together, in solidarity, in the great capital city of the European Union! "
The audience erupts in applause.
"This is so exciting! I am so glad to be here with you all. Seeing all your faces reminds me why we're all in this fight together. I see so many different faces from so many different walks of life and backgrounds. It reminds me that we all have much more common than what divides us. ¡Nosotros!"
Members of the audience cheers and hold up placards that say '¡Nosotros!' on them.
"As a 9th generation Spaniard from the great Spanish city of Glasgow, Escocia, I am proud of my roots and of my heritage. I am also proud to be a European. We all love our countries dearly, and we all love this common European community that we all share in together. We understand that the best way forward is through cooperation and through unity. If one of our countries falls behind, then we all fall behind. That is why we must remain united, and we must ensure that each and every of our countries succeed."
"Of course, we are living in trying and difficult times. Political turbulence has rocked Europe this year. However, through the leadership of the EPA, we have confronted these issues head-on. Our EPA Commissioners have breathed new life into our institutions, they have brought us together at the discussion table, they passed successful and meaningful pieces of legislation, they have revitalized our foreign affairs, and they have made progress in healing our internal divisions, particularly in Leagio and Eastern Haane. Together, we can continue to make progress."
"Naturally, we cannot speak about the hardships or progress we have made this year without remembering those who did not make it along the way. We must always remember those who have paved the way for us. We, as a European community, suffered a tragic loss this year. We suffered from the loss of General Tulsi Gabbard, who was a fierce and principled advocate of the Nicoleizian people, with an unyielding Aloha spirit. Let us now remember and honour her legacy."
The audience looks sorrowful and melancholic as they bow their heads in sadness.
"Now, that we're done remembering her, let's move on," Sofia continues. "It is through our actions, not through our words, in which the EPA proves itself. We are tireless workers and people of action and results. We don't just talk the talk, but we actually walk the walk. As a result, we have won the confidence of many of our detractors and naysayers. Dragan Trymov has been awfully quiet recently, hasn't he?
"Across Europe, the EPA is bring us all together, marching us towards progress and towards a better Europe. We are unafraid to reach across the aisle, to reach compromise, and to unite us all together in solidarity in order to tackle our common problems. That's why I am happy to introduce a former member of MEGA and a former member of the PEL, who have come to endorse the EPA. Please give a round of applause to Igor and Milos."
Sofia departs from the stage as two disheveled and unkempt workers take to podium. The audience cheer and holler in excitement.
"Hello, my name is Igor," the first man, from Pravoslaviya, introduces himself.
"And my name is Milos," the Czech worker introduces himself.
"I used to be a proud member of MEGA. I used to be really racist, I hated women, I hated immigrants, I hated the gays, and I also really hated all those politicians in Europolis. But then, one day, someone on Twitter explained to me kindly - with patience, compassion and understanding - that I was all wrong, and that I didn't have a clue. My eyes were suddenly opened. I realised that I was born privileged as a white, cis, straight male, and I realised it is my duty to uplift those who are less privileged than myself. That's why I'm now a proud supporter of the EPA, which is the most principled and compassionate eurogroup in Europolis."
Milos then began to talk. "Growing up in Czech Slavia, I didn't know about all these eurogroups. I thought they were all neolib fascists. That's why I only ever supported the PEL. Then, recently, when I gained asylum in Inquista, where I now work overtime in a minimum wage job - and understand true freedom - I understand that the EPA, which defends workers - and doesn't try to embargo Icholasen at all - is the true champion of the working class. I am proud to be a supporter of the EPA, and I will endorse any EPA candidate over a PEL candidate."
The audience cheer and the two men then leave the stage as Sofia returns to the podium. Sofia brushes tears away from her eyes.
"What truly touching testimonials. Now, for a performance from one of Europe's... err, greatest artists who we could afford on a budget: Lola Le Lann!"
"Gracias Lola. ¡Eso fue maravilloso! Europe truly has so many beautiful languages, and it is so great to see all these languages expressed in the form of music. Music can really bring us all together. The EPA understands the importance of protecting the rights of minority languages, and the heritage of all European cultures. La diversidad es hermosa."
The audience cheer and applause.
"I will introduce one speaker before we move on to our nomination process, where we nominate our candidate for Internal Affairs. Please give a round of applause to Françoise Cartier, a former train conductor of a Eurostar train that frequently moved between Icholasen and Miraco."
The audience cheer and hold up placards that have 'JUNKTRAIN' written on them. Françoise takes to the podium as Sofia exits the stage.
"Bonjour Europolis. C'est bon d'être ici. I am a proud, working-class Nicoleizian. I have spent my entire life working to provide for me and my family, just for these communist scum to take it all away from me. I am so disappointed to see what has happened to my country, but because of the EPA, I have hope. I have hope that freedom will return to Icholasen's beautiful shores. I have worked my entire life as a train conductor, and I have spent a lot of that time as a conductor with Eurostar. I have never in my life seen a more zealous and passionate champion of Eurostar than the Commissioner of Internal Affairs, Jean Claude Juncker. The man really loves trains. On behalf of working-class train conductors everywhere, I want to offer my deepest gratitude to Commissioner Juncker, who is a true champion of the people, and the champion of European transport. I hope train conductors everywhere join me in supporting Commissioner Juncker for Internal Affairs."
Françoise departs the stage as Sofia returns to the podium.
"You don't think we could start the nomination process without a bit of music? ¡Dios mio! Please put your hands together for famed EV star Alex Diehl!"
Members of the audience stand and cheer as Alex bows after his performance and Sofia settles herself behind the podium again.
"¡Asombroso! Simplemente hermoso. Gracias Alex. Now, it's time for our esteemed members of the EPA to nominate the EPA's candidate for Internal Affairs."
The crowd erupts in thundering applause.
"The delegations will vote in alphabetically, right after one another. We shall begin by calling the delegation from Fremet to nominate their candidate."
The audience cheer as a series of Fremetian chair makers and craftsmen take to the stage, led by Councillor Charles Michel. Sofia kisses Councillor Michel on the cheek before departing from the stage. Councillor Michel takes to podium and delivers a speech as strong as a Fremetain stool, and delivers his nomination vote to Commissioner Jean Claude Juncker. The audience cheers again as Councillor Michel and the Fremetians depart from the stage.
The Nicoleizian delegation then takes to the stage. Councillor Poppy Carlton-Romanov is joined by her husband, George Carlton-Romanov, the Nicoleizian Ambassador to Inquista, their children, and all of Queen Anastasia's children, who are wearing 'RIP TULSI' t-shirts. The children are acting rumbustious and are making a scene on the stage, with one of the triplets crying. Councillor Carlton-Romanov delivers her vote for Commissioner Jean-Claude Juncker.
The Inquistan delegation is next. Speaker Edward Firoux leads a pack of Inquistan Orthodox clergymen and a handful of nuns, some of which seem to be sisters of Saint Dominico's Academy of the Cross. One of the nuns, who is an instructor at the Academy, is holding a placard which states 'READING IS FUNDAMENTAL, YAS GOD – SAVE EDUCATION'. Speaker Firoux delivers his vote to Commissioner Jean Claude-Juncker. The audience cheers.
The delegation from Montenbourg follows. Councillor Emma Granger takes to the stage with a series of Kaasian refugees, who are all wearing t-shirts which state "#EndChildMarriageNow' on them. Once they're all fully on the stage, the Kaasian refugees kneel and raise their fists into the air. Councillor Granger delivers a passionate speech which we have all come to expect, and then delivers her nomination vote to Commissioner Jean Claude Juncker.
The audience ruptures into an exceptionally loud applause as the delegation from Spain takes to the podium next. Councillor Donald Tusk is followed onto the stage by a Spanish entourage consisting of a ship captain, a train conductor, a helicopter pilot, an airline pilot, a tank engineer, a zipline operator and a unicyclist. Councillor Tusk delivers a short speech in Spanish (saving most of his words for later), and then delivers his nomination vote to Commissioner Jean Claude Juncker.
The Vardic delegation is the last one to take to the stage. Councillor Carita Falk is flanked by a series of grim-looking oil rig workers, all of which look very relatable to the Vardic working-class. Councillor Falk nominates Jean Claude Juncker for Internal Affairs. The Vardic Councillor then departs from the stage with her working-class props as the audience erupts in a booming applause. Sofia Vergara returns to the stage.
"The Councillors from the European Alliance have spoken. ¡Nosotros! Vamos! The European Progressive Alliance is proud to nominate Commissioner Jean Claude Juncker for a second term as Commissioner of Internal Affairs!"
The audience all stand in ovation as confetti and balloons drop from the ceiling. Commissioner Juncker is then invited to the stage to deliver his acceptance speech.
RE: IT - Inquista Today (News)
How 'Junckle' and 'Comrade Sofierce' Have Achieved a Cult Following in Inquista and Why Others Should Be Worried
Opinion by Lex Burnley
August 28, 2020
Commissioner Jean Clude Juncker (L) and Sofie Čikarová (R)
The European Commission election is now well underway, with the Commission candidates now debating each other live in Europolis. With five candidates for Premier Commissioner, and four candidates for Internal Affairs Commissioner, each candidate must battle to stand out among the crowded field. In Inquista, this is more important than ever, as it's the first time that Inquistans will vote in a Commission election themselves (historically, the Inquistan Councillor has always voted on behalf of the Inquistan people in Commission elections).
With the power in the hands of Inquistan voters, and not the Inquistan Councillor, this election is fair game to all Commission candidates. No candidates have better capitalised on this historic opportunity than Commissioner Jean Claude Juncker and Sofie Čikarová, who have both visited Inquista this week, and who both drew warm and enthusiastic receptions. Both have achieved a cult following in Inquista, with their enthusiastic supporters donning them with loving portmanteaus: Commissioner Juncker is often affectionately known as 'Junckle' (a portmanteau of 'Juncker' and 'uncle'), while Sofie Čikarová has become known as 'Comrade Sofierce' (Sofierce being a portmanteau of 'Sofie' and 'fierce').
When thinking of the Internal Affairs Office of the European Union, it is almost impossible not to think of Commissioner Juncker, who is basically synonymous with his position. In a 20-stop campaign which has allowed the Commissioner to visit virtually every European Union member state, Junckle has demonstrated a willingness to reach out to every European country and leave no member state behind (literally). This is even better demonstrated by Junckle's impressive Commission record, which includes several successful visits to a handful of different European countries, and a historic first-ever meeting of all European leaders in Europolis.
Like a trustworthy paternal-like figure, Junckle aims to prove he has open ears and an open heart to all Europeans. Junckle has shown himself to be accessible and quickly responsive in his position, and like a member of your own family, you can count on him to show up unequivocally at your side if you call him in your time of need.
What's more is Junckle's seemingly endless source of energy and enthusiasm. Junckle is indisputably one of the most active Commissioner of Internal Affairs in European history. When the Commissioner is not hosting a summit or a visit, he's keeping himself busy with his many side-projects, such as his Commission app or his proposal for an official Europe Day. It's very apparent that Junckle is not only an eager public servant and an intensely hard worker, but you can tell that he clearly loves his job, and he thoroughly enjoys being at the beck-and-call of the member states.
While Juncker's enthusiasm for European projects has ruffled many feathers, he has shown himself to be a keen compromiser and listener, as again proven by his many summits and his leader's meeting in Europolis. Unafraid to reference or not reference, Junckle often pokes fun at himself through his campaign rallies, and he openly caricatures himself through 'Junckgets', which are his transportation gadgets, such as his 'Junckbike' or his infamous 'Juncktank' float. He's unafraid to laugh at himself, and he wants to include everyone in laughter, just as he hopes to create an Internal Affairs Office which advances unity, inclusivity and mutual respect.
The enthusiastic, energetic, well-intentioned, and goofy Commissioner is likely to cruise (or in his case, warp speed) to an easy victory in Inquista. In many ways, Junckle’s probable victory in Inquista isn't unexpected or unusual, as he's aided by his current status as an incumbent, he's clearly a favourite of the European establishment, and he's received a plethora of high-ranking endorsements from across Europe, including Inquista's own European Councillor.
However, the sharp rise of Sofie Čikarová is very much unexpected and extremely unusual, especially in the Inquistan context. A political outsider who openly brands herself as anti-globalist and anti-establishments may seem very Cratican, but her proudly communist convictions and her affiliation to the PEL make her uniquely different. Despite the fact that Inquista is often invoked as the avatar of free enterprise, capitalism, and the home of Speaker Edward Firoux, the country has suddenly been consumed by Sofiemania. Thousands of her supporters flocked to her campaign rally in Saint Dominico, which took place two days ago.
Comrade Sofierce has earned her affectionate nickname through her fierce and uncompromising commitment to upend the status quo in Europolis. Her detailed policy platform includes broad measures for economic and environmental justice, and a strong devotion to protect the national sovereignty of European member states.
Bishop Karinn Lallana, who is widely considered the mother of liberation theology and leftist politics in Inquista, endorsed Comrade Sofierce on Monday. Shortly after, all other 20 members of the Progressivist bloc in the College of Bishops endorsed Comrade Sofierce. This marks the first time that Bishop Lallana, or any bishop of the Progressivist bloc, have endorsed a candidate for the European Commission. Bishop Lallana maintains that Comrade Sofierce is the real-deal, as proven by her refusal to moderate or tame her unapologetic left-wing message for the broader appeal of Europeans. Bishop Lallana and her Progressivist colleagues have now taken to Inquistan airwaves and to Inquistan media, advocating strongly on her behalf, arguing that this is the moment for change, and that Comrade Sofierce is the only candidate willing to enact those changes.
Comrade Sofierce's appeal comes not only from her strong ideological convictions, but also her compassion and kindness which seems to support her people-first persona. When 15-year old Imis streamer Simon Whitakker penned an approving op-ed in the Europolis Post, Comrade Sofierce took the time to deliver a personal response. Comrade Sofierce praised the young boy's keen interest in politics, and promised him the latest Imis DLC. Simon Whittaker, who goes by SimSimonSays on YouTube, and has over 890,000 subscribers, shared her message on his channel as well on his social media. Comrade Sofierce's response immediately went viral, with many praising her for her gentle and warm response, and for delivering a personal message to Simon. Many young Inquistans have also taken to her message of youth activism rather keenly, and have heeded to her words by campaigning for her online.
Inquistan social media has now become abuzz with pro-Sofierce activity. Simps4Sofierce is one of Inquista's busiest subreddits, and Red Rose Twitter is taking a break from dragging Speaker Firoux for caring more about Nofoagan turtles than about class conflict, to now championing Comrade Sofierce's candidacy for Premier Commissioner. Her supporters are widely perceived to be just as fierce as Comrade Sofierce herself, with many pushing for a campaign of "Sofierce or Bust". Despite using an AV voting system, Comrade Sofierce's supporters are painting her as the only opposition to Lady Angela Merkel in the country, and are demanding that supporters of Dragan Trympov abandon his ship and join their own.
This first-time instance for Inquistans to vote and participate in Commission elections presents an opportunity for Commission candidate to connect with European voters and win their support. Inquistan experts are predicting a rather low-turnout in the election, with a range between 40% and 45%, and thus every single vote will matter.
The Inquistan commission election shall take place on September 3rd, with results expected sometime on September 4th.
Inquista - Commission Election Results
Inquistan Commission Election Results - September 2020
Inquista shall elect their Commissioners using an AV voting system. Candidates need to surpass a 15% threshold to appear on Inquista's final Commission ballot. The lowest placing candidate will be eliminated each round, and all candidates which fail to meet the 15% threshold will be eliminated on the first round. Voting rounds will continue until a candidate has secured more than 50% of the vote.
Total eligible voters: 101,725,322
Total votes cast: 43,609,646
Angela MERKEL (Fremet): 15,001,718 votes (34.4%)
Sofie ČIKAROVÁ (Czech Slavia): 11,687,385 votes (26.8%)
Dragan TRYMPOV (Pravoslaviya): 7,893,346 votes (18.1%)
Walter COCX (Inimicus): 5,887,302 votes (13.5%) - ELIMINATED
Maria KERSTIN (Leagio): 3,139,895 votes (7.2%) - ELIMINATED
Angela MERKEL (Fremet): 21,237,898 votes (48.7%)
Sofie ČIKAROVÁ (Czech Slavia): 13,518,990 votes (31%)
Dragan TRYMPOV (Pravoslaviya): 8,852,758 votes (20.3%) - ELIMINATED
Angela MERKEL (Fremet): 22,328,139 votes (51.2%)
Sofie ČIKAROVÁ (Czech Slavia): 21,281,507 votes (48.8%) - ELIMINATED
For Premier Commissioner, Inquista thus elects:
- Angela MERKEL (Fremet)
- Sofie ČIKAROVÁ (Czech Slavia)
- Dragan TRYMPOV (Pravoslaviya)
Internal Affairs Commissioner
Jean Claude JUNCKER (Spain): 40,513,361 votes (92.9%)
John OLIVER (Vayinaod): 1,395,509 votes (3.2%) - ELIMINATED
Katrin WEBER (Eastern Haane): 1,133,851 votes (2.6%) - ELIMINATED
Edmund WINSTON (Reitzmag): 566,925 votes (1.3%) - ELIMINATED
For Internal Affairs Commissioner, Inquista thus elects:
- Jean Claude JUNCKER (Spain)
RE: IT - Inquista Today (News)
Archbishop's Approval Soars After Record-High Inquisto and Record-Low Unemployment
September 13, 2020
Archbishop Kligenberg is receiving top marks on the economy, social policy and in foreign policy
Economic data released last week Monday by the European Central Bank spelled exceptionally good news for Inquista. The Inquistan economy grew sharply, becoming the first economy in Europe to reach a size of €15 trillion, and the first country to reach a GDP per capita of over €110,000. The Inquisto also grew to become the region's strongest currency, trading at approximately €2.05, which is the strongest the Inquisto has ever been in all of modern history. Data released by the Treasury Secretariat also showed that Inquista's unemployment also dropped to a historically low record of 3.2%.
Consequently, aggregate polling has shown the Archbishop's approval rating soar from 61% in August to 68% in September. The Archbishop is currently only 1% away from tying the approval rating record set by her predecessor, Archbishop Craticus, who achieved an astonishing 69% aggregate approval rating in February of 2020. The Archbishop is seen as particularly strong on the economy, with surveys all showing that more than 72% respondents approve or greatly approve her handling of the area.
While Inquista has seen consistent economic growth since 2013, the last four months especially have been marked by particularly exceptional and sharp economic growth, since Archbishop Kligenberg came to power. The Bishop Secretary of the Treasury and Economy, Silas Kligenberg, who is widely seen as an economy ace, has also been lauded on his handling of the portfolio. After the ECB's latest economic report, Bishop Secretary Silas Kligenberg boasted, as is his style, that "as long as a Kligenberg sits on Saint Dominico's throne [in the College of Bishops], then Inquista's economy shall flourish and prosper."
The Bishop Secretary admitted, however, that unemployment rates are expected to slightly rise in the upcoming months, especially as Inquista accepts more and more refugees as part of its Communist Refugee Program. As part of the program, refugees are offered a 'job guarantee', but the current intake of refugees, particularly from Eastern Haane, is likely to outpace job creation. Despite this, polling has also shown that Inquistans widely approve of the Communist Refugee Program, particularly since as recent atrocities in Eastern Haane have made front-page news in Inquista. 72% of inquistans respondents approve of greatly approve of the refugee program, up 10% since the outbreak of Eastern Haane's latest civil war, and 77% of Inquistans approve of the Archbishop's decision to not intervene in the conflict.
The Archbishop has also received strong approval ratings on her handling of social issues. The Archbishop is known to be distinctly liberal in her theological beliefs, and her successful push for gay marriage rights, among other socially liberal causes, has won the approval of 64% of Inquistans, according to surveys. Her high approval rating on social issues, however, is polarising: 31% of respondents strongly disapprove of her handling of the issues. Detractors, particularly from the Traditionalist bloc within the College of Bishops, have stated that the Archbishop has discarded traditional Orthodox values too unnecessarily and too quickly.
RE: IT - Inquista Today (News)
Archbishop and Bishop Secretary of State to Meet With Sahrawi Supreme Councillor
September 23, 2020
Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg (L), Bishop Secretary of State Anja Emerett (C) and Supreme Councillor Nadia Ali-Sayed (R)
A meeting between Archbishop Kligenberg, Bishop Secretary Emerett, and Supreme Councillor Ali-Sayed of the Sahrawi Union is expected to take place later this Saturday, according to a media release published by the State Secretariat. The specifics of the meeting have not yet been unveiled, but it is believed that Inquista will release the Sahrawi Union as a protectorate, and will grant complete autonomy to the country. The Sahrawi Union is also expected to then announce its withdrawal from the European Union.
The announcement of the meeting follows a period of lengthy, but cordial negotiations between Inquista and the Sahrawi Union. Bishop Secretary Emerett is said to have been working towards establishing full Sahrawi autonomy from Inquista since her appointment as Bishop Secretary of State. The Bishop Secretary served as Inquista's Secretary of Immigration and Citizenship from the time of Inquista's original intervention in the Sahara, up until the Sahrawi Union was unified. The Bishop Secretary is considered a heroine among Inquista's Sahrawi population, in part due to her open-door policy towards Sahrawi refugees, before she was replaced by an anti-immigration hawk appointee made by Archbishop Craticus.
Sahrawi Inquistans are the second largest minority population in Inquista, making up approximately 3.7% of the population. Despite being less than 4% of the country's population, Sahrawi Inquistans are especially active and vocal within Inquistan politics, and they are considered strong supporters of Archbishop Kligenberg and her Reformist bloc.
RE: Operation Heartpounding
Saint Dominico, Inquista
Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg leaned back in her chair and sipped on a mimosa. The Archbishop let out a relaxing sigh after taking a sip from her drink, while a Czech refugee worked on her pedicure. The Archbishop let out a soft giggle as the pedicurist massaged her foot, giving way to a somewhat ticklish sensation.
An esthetician then entered the room and placed a warm cloth over the Archbishop's face, and began to massage her scalp. Suddenly, the Archbishop's phone went off.
"Eliška, what does it say?" the Archbishop questioned from underneath her warm towel. The esthetician then checked the Archbishop's phone, which was lying on a nearby counter.
"It's says HEATHER," the esthetician answered.
"Oh, ignore that. Can't bee too important." Archbishop Kligenberg sighed. The esthetician then resumed working on the Archbishop's scalp massage.
The State of Angleter and Eastern Haane
The remarks and announcement made today by the Prime Minister of Angleter are both saddening and sobering. For those who may still be unaware: the government of Angleter has announced a referendum on their membership of the European Union.
The Apostolic Crown of Angleter is the second oldest member state of the European Union, having joined the Union in 2008. Since 2008, the voice and presence of Angleterics have enriched the European Union, particularly in the European Council, where their councillors have often been steadfast voices of reason and rationality. The recent absence of their councillor has been deafening, and their voice and input has been sorely missed. The loss of the Angleteric councillor has been a major loss for the Council, and indeed a major loss for the Union. The withdrawal of Angleter from the European Union would be a great tragedy.
Even though it brings me great sorrow, I respect the announcement made by the Angleteric government, and I will respect the will of the Angleteric people. I have always strongly believed that the people of the member states should always have their say in European politics, and so I will respect any decision that is made through a people’s referendum on EU membership.
Angleter is like a second home to me. I spent most of my career as an Inquistan diplomat stationed in Angleter, before I was named the High Commissioner to Halsberg in 2011. Since 2015, when I first met my wife, I have spent considerable time back in the country, and have been residing in the country for extensive periods since my marriage, as my wife still calls Angleter her home. Thus, I am not naïve about the opinions or attitudes of Angleterics toward the Union. The fight to retain Angleteric membership in the European Union will be an uphill battle, but it will be battle that I will not be involved with. In this circumstance, it is simply not my place to dictate what is best for another county and for another group of people. The outcome of this referendum is only for the people of Angleter to decide.
While I don't agree with everything the Angleteric Prime Minister has said, many of his criticisms are valid. There are many lessons to be learned from this announcement and from the upcoming referendum in Angleter. I think most Councillors would agree that there have been problems within the European Union for some time, particularly when it comes to the cohesiveness and efficacy of the European Union. The Union has been slow to act, and it has been far from united.
The Union has sat idly by as member states fall into anarchy, civil war, and conflict. Instead of the European Union remedying these situations, member states take the initiative into their own hands, and they make heavy-handed interventions that end up worsening and exacerbating existing crises. When the European Council does take responsibility, and passes a motion, then member states simply refuse to recognise or accept that motion. It has resulted in disaster after disaster, and crisis after crisis - many of which are still ongoing.
I hear and share the concerns that the Angleteric Prime Minister has with Eastern Haane. I shall not condemn the Kingdom of Reitzmag, but I will point out that all evidence and news coming out of Eastern Haane has shown that the Reitzmic intervention has been nothing short of a disaster. The Reitzmic intervention has aimlessly worsened an already sad and tragic humanitarian crisis. These sort of interventions need to stop. The intervention into Reitzmag, months ago, was a disastrous mess which claimed many lives. I really hoped and expected that the Kingdom of Reitzmag would have learned from what happened in their own country, and would have not have copied this mistake elsewhere.
An EU-led intervention into Eastern Haane was always supposed to be the last resort, but it has now unfortunately become the necessary action and reality. The EU-led mission into Eastern Haane should only be with the aim to bring peace and stability to the country, and we must refrain from installing our own regime into power. The people of Eastern Haane must be afforded their sovereign right to determine their own future, and that is a right that the EU coalition must work toward.
In the coming months, it is imperative that we establish new precedents for the European Union. It is imperative that we establish a precedent for action and responsibility, in which the European Union is more active and less passive during crises. A precedent in which we do not allow individual member states to embark on national voyages into other countries, but in which the European Council establishes accountable and responsible coalitions. A precedent in which the Council authority is respected, and motions are not illegally discarded based on whims. A precedent in which unlawful member states are punished, and if necessary, ejected from the Union.
All eyes are now on Eastern Haane. Perhaps the EU-led mission into the country could mark the beginning of these precedents, and put our Union on a new path forward.
Council Speaker and Councillor for Inquista
European Union – August and September 2020 Update
Regional update for the months of August and September, 2020
Premier Commissioner Angela Merkel (Fremet)
Commissioner of Internal Affairs Jean Claude Juncker (Spain)
Commissioner of Foreign Affairs Antoni Reynels (Inquista)
Speaker Edward Firoux (Inquista)
Deputy Speaker Marion Rousselot (Gallorum)
European Court of Justice
Chief Justice Robert Rinder (Icholasen)
Justice Clarisse Bourgeon (Montenbourg)
Justice Luis López Guerra (Spain)
Justice Jack McCoy (Leagio)
Justice Frans Svenson (Mennrimiak)
August and September saw the election of the 27th European Commission. There were five candidates for Premier Commissioner: Sofie Čikarová (Czech Slavia, PEL), Walter Cocx (Inimicus, independent), Maria Kerstin (Leagio, ELDR), Angela Merkel (Fremet, EPA), and Dragan Trympov (Pravoslaviya, MEGA). There were four candidates for Internal Affairs Commissioner: Jean Claude Juncker (Spain, EPA), John Oliver (Vayinaod, MEGA), Katrin Weber (Eastern Haane, PEL), and Edmund Winston (Reitzmag, ELDR). As the Foreign Affairs Commissioner has an eight-month term, his seat was not up for election.
Angela Merkel was elected Premier Commissioner on the fourth round, winning 61% of the vote. Jean Claude Juncker was re-elected Internal Affairs Commissioner, winning 53.3% of the vote on the first round. The election marks the second consecutive election in which the European Progressive Alliance has filled all three Commission seats.
A Lending Hand
The Commissioner of Internal Affairs visited Leagio, where he discussed economic development and environmental concerns with the country’s president. The Commissioner worked out a deal for the European Union to loan €400 million to Leagio, so that the country could spend it on environmentally sustainable infrastructure projects. The loan was later be approved by the European Council.
Unification Talks Successful… But Not For Long
In August, the Commissioner of Internal Affairs mediated talks between the People's Confederation and the seceded cantons in Eastern Haane. The People's Confederation and the new confederation of cantons of Eastern Haane agreed to draft a new constitution for the country, among other compromises. Despite the signed agreement, peace would later break down again in Eastern Haane, and the country would devolve into total chaos.
Intervention in Eastern Haane
Commissioner Jean-Claude Juncker and Councillor Tilki of Inimicus have proposed a motion to establish an EU-backed force that will intervene and bring stability to Eastern Haane. The motion follows a recommendation made by Speaker Firoux in a preceding Council discussion on the dire situation unfolding in Eastern Haane. The motion is currently still under consideration.
European Budget for 2020-2021
The European Union has passed its budget for the 2020-2021 fiscal year, which was proposed by Premier Whiteford and Speaker Firoux. The budget allots €31.73 billion for EU program expenditures. The budget barely made it through a supermajority vote of 9 to 3.
Leagioan Loan Request
Commissioner Jean Claude Juncker of Spain proposed his loan deal to the European Council, in which the European Union would loan the Commonwealth of Leagio €400 million for the development of its green energy infrastructure projects. The loan was passed unanimously.
European Maritime Standards Act
The Councillor of Reitzmag proposed a bill that sought to harmonize the laws of the sea, and prevent disputes within the territorial waters of Europe. The bill received widespread criticism for numerous reasons, and was unanimously defeated with 8 votes.
Anti-Space Weaponry Act
Councillor Van Allen of Reitzmag proposed the Anti-Space Weaponry Act, which sought to prevent the demilitarization of space. The bill received criticism for its wording and terminology, and was also criticized for not being exhaustive or comprehensive enough in terms of its scope. The legislation was defeated in a 3-8 vote.
Child Marriage Act
The Councillor of Montenbourg proposed a bill that sought to prohibit the marriage of persons younger than 18 years of age. The bill also sought to establish a region-wide age of majority of 18 years of age, which received considerable criticism. Some councillors opposed the bill because their states had an age of majority over 18 years of age, while other criticized it because they had age of majorities slightly below 18 years of age. In the end, the bill was seen as an unnecessary act, as no EU member state currently permits child marriage, and it was defeated in a 5-8 vote.
European Wealth Fund Act
Councillor Granger of Montenbourg proposed a bill to establish a European Wealth Fund. The fund would have served as a public sum of money, belonging collectively to the European Union, which member states could withdraw from to make investments. The proposal was defeated in a 7-2 vote.
Europe Day Act
Commissioner Jean Claude Juncker proposed a bill to recognize July 25th (the refounding of the European Union) as Europe Day, which would serve as a day dedicated to celebrating and commemorating the European Union. The bill was passed unanimously with 8 votes. The bill was later amended in September, which made Europe Day a public holiday for EU civil servants.
Speaker Neutrality Amendment
The Councillor of Reitzmag proposed a constitutional amendment which would prevent the Council Speaker from being a member of a eurogroup. The incumbent Speaker, Edward Firoux of Inquista, currently serves as the Chairperson of the European Progressive Alliance, and would have had to step down from his position had the amendment passed. The Reitzmic Councillor was lambasted by virtually the entire European Council, who felt that the Reitzmic Councillor had a personal score to settle with the Speaker. The legislation was defeated in a 12-2 vote.
Constitutional Amendment on Voting Regulations
Speaker Firoux of Inquista proposed a constitutional amendment which would only allow member states which have joined the European Union prior to the start of an election period to vote in an upcoming Commission or European Court of Justice election. The amendment was passed unanimously with 9 votes.
Amendments to the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen
An attempt to amend the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen failed as councillors proposed a series different amendments to the legislation, and then split their votes among those amendments, ultimately leaving the legislation unchanged, and then proceeded to vote against the proposal. The proposal was then withdrawn by its author, the Councillor of Reitzmag, in the final stages of voting.
Repeal Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen
Councillor Kohout of Czech Slavia launched his second attempt to repeal the legislation which has banned EU recognition of the UNSR. In a spirited debate which saw the only two members of the Party of the European Left face off in a debate with one another, the legislation went on to fail in a 3-11 vote.
European Court of Justice
European Court of Justice Elections
August and September saw the election of a new European Court of Justice. Seven candidates stood for election: Clarisse Bourgeon (Montenbourg), Andreas Ekka (Fremet), Luis López Guerra (Spain), Jack McCoy (Leagio), Robert Rinder (Icholasen), Frans Svenson (Mennrimiak) and Christopher Vajda (Reitzmag). In the end, Robert Rinder was elected Chief Justice with 54.54% of the vote, and Clarisse Bourgeon, Luis López Guerra, Jack McCoy and Frans Svenson were all elected to Court alongside him.
Kingdom of Spain v. Kingdom of Reitzmag
The European Court of Justice ordered the Kingdom of Reitzmag to pay a fine of €500,000,000 to the European Union, and an additional €150,000,000 to the Global Alliance Against Human Trafficking, after the country made a military trade agreement with the UNSR, and violated the European Council’s Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen. King George of Reitzmag was also fined € 5,000,000 for contempt of European Law.
Andries van Hoebeek v. The Keil Workers' Council
The European Court of Justice overturned the judicial ruling of the Kiel Workers’ Council in Eastern Haane, and ordered that the former Supreme Councillor of Eastern Haane, Andries van Hoebeek, receive a new trial in accordance with the laws of the European Union.
News From Around Europe
Eastern Haane Enters Oblivion While the European Community Scrambles
Eastern Haane has fallen into complete and utter chaos. The country has been ripped apart into several factions, and large swathes of the country are in anarchy. Among the country’s most prominent factions is the Haanean Empire, led by Josephine Areai. Areai and her followers have overseen mass atrocities and unspeakable crimes, which have claimed the lives of many Haaneans. Among the fallen includes Martin Bourgaize, the European Councillor for Eastern Haane.
With rather faint intentions, Reitzmag has launched a military intervention into the country, with the purported goal of establishing stability and brining a new government to power. Reitzmic forces have since been bogged down in the capital city of Kiel, where they have killed whatever small resistance groups they have come into contact with.
Meanwhile, as the European Council deliberates on an EU-backed mission into Eastern Haane, Fremet, Vayinaod, Inimicus and Spain have established themselves as the “Four Assembled Powers”, and have sought to create a no-fly zone over the country, preventing further international intervention until the European Council comes to a decision.
A Long Road to Victory
The federal election saga in Fremet finally reached a conclusion in August. Erna Solberg, the leader of the Socialist Party, claimed a stunning victory and won enough seats to form a majority government without a coalition. This marks the first time in 70 years in which a Fremetian political party has won enough seats to form a government without any coalition partners. The governing Liberal Democrats were relegated down to become second biggest political party, while the Conservatives remained steadfast as the third largest political party in the country.
European Councillor Election in Leagio
Councillor Plessis of Leagio, of the European Liberal Democrats, has won re-election as the country’s Councillor to the European Union. The Councillor won a narrow victory in the second round of voting, after carrying 189 electoral votes, while his opponent, Marie Lahaye, carried 164 electoral votes. Councillor Plessis received 51.85% of the popular vote, while Marie Lahaye secured 48.15% of the vote.
Girl Boss Ascends to Throne After Dad Kicks the Bucket
Princess Victoria of Montenbourg ascended to the throne as the new Queen of the country, following the tragic passing of her father, King Lawrence. A state funeral was held for King Lawrence, which was attended by many of Europe’s leaders who came to pay their respects to the royal family of Montenbourg.
N-Day Could Never
The European Nuclear Applications Authority (ENAA), which regulates the proliferation of nuclear weapons in the European Union, has granted nuclear licenses to the Kingdom of Fremet and the Empire of Inimicus. Fremet is permitted to produce up to 275 nuclear warheads, while Inimicus has been granted a license to produce up to 200 nuclear warheads.
New President, Same As the Old President
Former Interim President, Lula Namatatiki, has been elected as the official President of Nofoaga. The President was supported by the Namatatiki and NofoagaFirst parties, and received the endorsement of the indigenous Nofoaga Tiki tribe. Members of the opposition PFN and MG parties stood up and left the Nofoagan Assembly during the Presidential vote.
A Girl’s Night Out
Prime Minister Simon Bridges of Reitzmag attended a state visit in Inquista, hosted by Inquistan Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg. Together, the two leaders - and total BFFLs - embarked on a manic car chase, a wild shopping spree, a star-studded movie premiere, before then hitting the dancefloor at a nightclub. In the end, the leaders - err, excuse me, BFFLS - agreed on provisions for free trade, free movement, and a license for the government of Reitzmag to purchase weapons and vehicles from Inquistan military producers.
He’s Back, Back, Back Again
Emperor Artabanos of Inimicus enjoyed a welcome back banquet, attended by many leaders from across Europe, where he appeared to be in good health following the attack on his supersonic jet which nearly claimed his life. Foreign dignitaries were glad to see the Emperor back in good health, and many were there to remind him that death would perhaps be a better fate than continued co-existence with European leaders.
The Search for the Lost City
A team of curious experts, scientists and explorers from Spain and Inquista have joined up together in a search for the lost city of Atlantis. Atlantis is believed to be located somewhere in the Mediterranean, close to (or even within) either Spain, Inquista or Red Croatia.
A Royal Wedding
On August 28th, then Princess (but now Queen) Victoria of Montenbourg and Lord Philip of Cambridge wed at the All Saints Cathedral in Montenbourg. The wedding was attended by various royals and foreign dignitaries, and was observed by many well-wishers.
August saw President Jesús Aguilar of Spain welcome his 2nd daughter, Isabel, to his family. The Spanish President is now the father of four children, and took two weeks of paternity leave to spend time with his family and his newborn daughter. During the President’s leave, Vice President Soraya Sáenz fulfilled his duties as temporary President.
Wildfires Scorch Andalucía
Wildfires swept through parts of Andalucía, Spain, during August. At least 3,000 people were evacuated and more than 10,000 hectares of land was burned.
What’s A Water Bill?
Following the nationalization of banks and a ban placed on landlords, housing mortgages are now under state control in Icholasen. New reforms have streamlined all utility services, such as water, gas and electricity, under one nationalized service, which will be free. Housing occupants will also have the choice to either use a new government-controlled broadband scheme, or they can opt-out to use one provided by a cooperative.
Underdog Victory in Inimican European Councillor Election
Hetty Tilki has been elected the European Councillor of Inimicus, resulting in a surprise blow to the political establishment of the country, who expected Nicholas Benfield to win the position. At 20 years old, Tilki is the youngest ever European Councillor from Inimicus and one of the youngest elected or appointed officials in the Empire.
¡El Scándalo Continua!
King Juan Carlos, the former King of Spain, has fled the country after severe corruption allegations came to light. In a letter to King Felipe VI, the current King of Spain, the former King explained his actions. Unbeknownst the public, King Juan Carlos has fled to the island nation of Nofoaga.
Imperial Council By-Elections in Inimicus
Four newly-elected Imperial Councillors have been elected in Inimicus. Three of the four new Imperial Councillors were elected on lists from the Emperor's Finest movement, a new popular front campaigning on a platform dedicated to furthering the agenda of the current Emperor. Simge Galanth, now former Duchess of Terra Quaestoris, was elected to Terra, while Dilkes Ayla and Nazil Schout won in the newly formed Terra Diutius. The only non-Finest victor, Henman Vern, ran in Terra Centurio on behalf of the Centre-Conservative Union, and narrowly beat the Inimician Liberal Appeal's candidate.
A landmark agreement has been reached between Inquista and the Sahrawi Union. The Sahrawi Union has been released as a protectorate of Inquista, and the country has been granted full autonomy over its own affairs. All Inquistan military personnel currently located in the Western Sahara will return to Inquista, and all Inquistan military bases located in the Sahrawi Union will also be closed.
A Game of States and Territories
The territories of Loors and Wilson have been granted statehood in Leagio. The country also created a new territory, known as the Territory of Freedonia, which will become the home of Haanean refugees coming to Leagio through a newly established refugee program. Kelly Idiotus, the former the Socialist Union Party Candidate for Leagio’s EU Councillor, was named the Governor of Freedonia.
Copala City Local Elections
Mayoral and City Council elections are now underway in Copala City. Many political parties are standing for election, some of which include the Milk Is Lovely and Flavoursome (MILF) party, Dairy is Loathsome and Foul (DILF) party, the Gay Liberation Front, New Gilead-Copala party, and the Nicoleizian Union of Protestant Environmentalists.
Train Derailment in Spain
In August, a ScotRail train derailed in Stonehaven, Spain. It is believed that the derailment was caused by heavy storms that the Autonomous Community of Scotland suffered during the month, which flooded many towns in the surrounding area. Three persons were confirmed to have been killed, including the driver, a passenger and the train's conductor.
New Political Alliances in Leagio
Most of the political parties of Leagio have organized themselves into three new alliances. The three political alliances include the Republicans (lead by the Conservative Reform Party, but also including the Common Nationalists and the Christian Democratic-Republicans), the Revolutionary Front (lead by the Socialist Union Party, but also including the Green Party), and the Free Liberalists (lead by the Civil Populist Party, but also including the Social Democrat Party and the Eastern Leagio Party).
Going in Circles
The government of Montenbourg has adopted an ambitious national strategy for a ‘circular economy’ that is completely environmentally sustainable. Montenbourg aims to become the first fossil fuel-free welfare state in Europe.
Cruisin’ No More
The government of Nofoaga will no longer permit cruise ships to visit the island nation starting in 2021. The government stated that the cruise ship ban will be instituted in order to protect the local reefs and coast against pollution. This is also good news for country’s famous turtles.
In August, two simultaneous and successful launches were made from the Midtenskov Space Port in Fremet. The Thor CV-02 and CV-03 took off about eight hours apart, with the primary mission of proving the efficacy of the European Docking Standard technology employed on the Thor Crewed Vehicle. Astronauts from Inquista and Spain took part in the mission, joining the efforts spearheaded by the joint Fremetian and Vardic space programs.
A Constitutional Update
Leagio has adopted a series of new amendments to its Constitution, which includes articles concerning the emergency appointment of senators, means for fixing congressional salaries, representation for oversea Leagioans, among other important changes. The proposed amendments received considerable debate, as some debated whether Leagio’s Constitution should be amended at all. In the end, the amendments were passed with a resounding mandate.
Money for Haane-y
A fund for aid humanitarian relief in Eastern Haane has been established in Inquista, known as the Inquistan Eastern Haane Relief Fund. The fund reached international attention after Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg dropped her tenth studio album, Haane-y Haane-y - a charity album devoted to Eastern Haane - which will have all its proceeds dedicated to the fund. The governments of Leagio and Montenbourg have since donated generous sums of money to the fund.
The College of Bishops has amended the Fundamental Laws of Inquista in order to allow the Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg to adopt her daughter, despite not yet being married. Unbeknownst to the public, the Archbishop’s adopted daughter is the biological daughter of Queen Aleksandra of Red Croatia and the late Archbishop Craticus.
No, You Can’t Have Nice Things And How Dare You Even Suggest That
A proposal to introduce basic income has failed in Austria. The proposal, which would give 1,500 schillings to every Austrian over the age of 21 every month, was rejected by the country’s Bundeswirtschaftsrat. The bill was supported by the country’s Chancellor, Pamela Rendi-Wagner, who has experienced a sharp decline in approval after proposing the basic income bill.
An Open Case
Further evidence has emerged which has shown that missiles from North Diessen are to blame for the attack on the Emperor of Inimcius and his supersonic jet earlier in July.
What the FUCC?
The official legislative session of Fremet resumed in September, following the country’s recent elections. The first item on the legislative agenda was the he Fremetiansk Utility Consolidation and Cooperative (FUCC) Act. The FUCC Act seeks to consolidate Fremet's 16 public national, 37 private national, and 12 local electricity utility companies into a series of 10 state-sponsored cooperatives. The cooperatives will provide electricity services to Fremetians, and will be overseen by a centralised, state-owned electricity distributor.
The ill-named movement for a Reitzmic exit of the European Union has gained momentum in the country, particularly after the European Court of Justice found Reitzmag guilty of violating the terms of the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen.
Malboryan Protests End With Horrific Truck Attack
Malboryan politics quickly became polarised as the President of the country considered sponsoring a military intervention in nearby Eastern Haane. Protests soon broke out, both for and against military intervention. A terrorist attack then unfolded, in which a truck drove through a crowd of protesters in Southwest Hattington, killing 94 people.
Light It Up
The personal use of cannabis has been legalized by the Reitzmic House of Commons. However, limitations have been applied on cannabis consumption, including a ban on public consumption.
Don’t Get Handsy With Me
Protesters in Czech Slavia have demonstrated against the European Council’s condemnation of the UNSR, and perceived intervention of EU member states in the affairs of the UNSR. The protests have adopted a slogan of “Keep Hands off the UNSR”.
Sport and Culture
EuroVoice 39: The Spooky Spectacular
Icholasen is currently hosting the 39th edition of the EuroVoice competition. All entries in the competition have to either be Halloween themed, or they have to be a former EuroVoice entry which has risen back from the (musical) grave to compete again. Spooky!
In order to re-live their glory days and instill communist nostalgia within Nicoleizians, the national broadcaster of the UNSR has decided to re-air the 1985 edition of EuroVoice, which took place in their country. Inquista came out on top of the contest, with Debarge grooving to victory with their hit song ‘Rhythm Of The Night’.
The European Union once again participated in the 10000 Islands’ Tacovision contest as a united team. A selection contest was organized, in which one of the most recent winners of the EuroVoice competition was selected to compete in Tacovision. Sham Rock of Icholasen (winner of EuroVoice 38) was ultimately selected to represent the EU in Tacovision II. In the end, Sham Rock placed 6th in the contest (out of 28 final contestants) with their song ‘Tell Me Ma’.
The Formula 1 European Championship has concluded, following the final races in Reitzmag, Aragon, Andalusia, and Inquista. Fernando Alonso of Spain won the Driver’s Championship, while his compatriot Carlos Sainz finished in second place, and Daniel Ricciardo of Gallorum placed third. The España F1 Team handily won the Constrictor’s Championship, while Renault and Force Inquista - Kligenberg Motors placed a distant second and third respectively.
UEFA Nations League
The UEFA Nations League is currently underway in its group stage.
This regional update has been issued by the Commissioner of Foreign Affairs.
RE: A Summit of Unlikely Sisters
Mikaela smiled as Černá suggested the idea of setting up Prime Minister Bridges and President Aguilar on a blind date together. Mikaela thought it was a genuinely excellent plan. "Mira, that is such a great idea! I will have to do that. But honestly, doing that to Mrs. Bridges does hurt my heart. Although she really does deserve better, doesn't she? She deserves true love too. Maybe once Simey and President Aguilar finally confess their love, we can help set Mrs. Bridges up with someone else? Maybe with President Lifejacket?"
"President Lifejacket is very dreamy. Only a 9? Honestly, I'd give him a 10. There's something in the water in Leagio, I swear. They're all so cute. I also feel as if I recognise them all from somewhere? I just can't put my finger on it. But yeah, I couldn't take my eyes off their President during that meeting in Europolis. Mira, you have very good taste. I'm definitely too generous with my ranking. I'm such a hopeless romantic... I need to set some higher standards for myself."
Mikaela sighed, spaced out in the distance for a second, and then refocused.
"You give such good advice, Mira. Thank you. I have so many good pictures of myself on my Instagram feed. It's a shame that they aren't just shown around in public. I wonder if I could have some electronic billboards installed all around Saint Dominico, and just have pictures from my Instagram feed just show up on there? I mean, not the pictures that I post about my breakfast, but like, the pictures of me at the beach, looking real skinny? Aww, that would be cute. People would love that, I feel like."
The Archbishop then turned to the laptop screen and nodded approvingly.
"I love this painting of the Happy Flower. I definitely need some copies of it! Hmmm. Maybe I should order 17 Happy Flower paintings? Well, just those for the palace. It's such a good piece, and it should also definitely belong in some museums too. Hmm... maybe, like an extra 124 copies? I can donate them to some galleries. Okay. Here's my final verdict. I will buy 223 Happy Flower Paintings. Please see if you can have them shipped here as quickly as possible."
Mikaela then smirked and pulled out the other pink laptop she had brought in earlier. Mikaela then placed her laptop beside Černá's.
"Oh, I have an amazing idea. When I first saw you Mira, I just knew you were also a gamer girl. Here, let's play something. Have you played Champions of Strength and Sorcery III? It's so good. The musical track is great. Not as good as IV, but the gameplay is better in III. We can play it multiplayer toegther! Come, join my lobby."
Mikaela and Černá then put on their headsets, and began to play Champions of Strength and Sorcery III together, along with two randoms that grouped up with them in the lobby.
"I love to play this game, especially with Prince Tommy and Queen Anastasia. Ani's got like 435 hours on this game, she's so good! It's so much fun. Ok, girl, we need to team up against the person playing as the Haane-Keste faction. Their special Ievonuia-tipped spear warriors are soooo OP! Even though I love this game, it's not as good as the recent CUK games, I have to say. Lead and Overpower? I'm obsessed. Would CUK games be interested in expanding to include an Inquistan studio?""
As the two gamed, Mikaela shifted the conversation to some political matters. "Honestly, what's going on in Eastern Haane right now is so sad. I'm not sure how I feel about all of Europe coming to turn our backyard into a warzone. What do you think about the European Council's proposal on Eastern Haane? Would Czech Slavia participate as part of the EU mission? I think our countries need to be on the same page together, considering this is happening so close to us. What are your thoughts on a path forward for Eastern Haane?"
RE: EU Come Dine with me (Group One)
Villa di Kligenberg
Saint Dominico, Inquista
[Mikaela Kligenberg narrating to the audience] Welcome to my humble home. We have quite a nice view of Saint Dominico behind it. As I now spend most of my time and live at the Archbishop's Palace, I don't really think I will be spending too much time here at my autumn villa. I would take you to the Archbishop's Palace to cook, but noooooooo I can't! It's a national historic site and I'm banned from cooking within the premises because they're afraid I'm going to start another fire. How does an oven even catch fire anyway, isn't it electric? Like, how do flames even get in there? Makes no sense. I also don't get how throwing water on the fire made it even worse! Physics is so weird.
[Mikaela leads the camera crew into her house. Inside, Mikaela spins around in her dress] Beautiful, isn't it? No, I mean my dress. Don't you love my outfit? I'm going for housewife chic, just for this special occasion. I look like I'm ready to take my dogs on a walk, start my afternoon pilates class with Paulo, and then bake a nice apple pie after. I have two buns ready to be taken out of the oven. Will my buns be too hot to handle for the guests? Let's hope not. Anyway, here's my menu...
For a starter, I will be making gluten-free and cruelty-free grapefruit with black pepper.
For the main course, I will be making flat tummy tea soup with instant noodles.
For dessert, I will be making dark chocolate cannolis with white chocolate cream.
RE: IT - Inquista Today (News)
College of Bishops Rejects Treaty with Reitzmag
October 14, 2020
The College of Bishops has rejected the Inquistan-Reitzmic Accord
The Inquistan-Reitzmic Accord, signed in September by Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg and Prime Minister Simon Bridges of Reitzmag, was defeated in a 13-217 vote in the College of Bishops today, meaning that the treaty has been rejected and will not be ratified. The treaty, which includes the elimination of trade barriers, provisions for free movement, channels for high-security communication, and most importantly - access to Inquista's military weapons and vehicle producers - has thus become void and nullified.
The accord, which was drafted between the Archbishop and the Prime Minister of Reitzmag while the two enjoyed a much-publicized night out in the city, was panned by bishops across all aisles of the College, but was still expected to pass despite all criticisms - until, at the last minute, it was apparently sunk by Chief Bishop Secretary Edward Firoux.
Bishop Karinn Lallana, of the Progressivist Bloc, argued that Reitzmag's recent involvement in Eastern Haane was "nothing short of a humanitarian catastrophe", and stated that Inquista could not allow a "war hawk" to buy weapons or vehicles from Inquistan military producers to "carry out more international carnage on behalf of dark-moneyed neoliberals and capitalists". Bishop Michael Cunard, the leader of the Traditionalist Bloc, also criticized the accord and asked his colleagues to vote against it.
The Archbishop's Reformist Bloc, which has a majority in the College of Bishops, and more than enough votes to ratify the treaty, became divided. Some Reformist Bishops were apprehensive of the accord from the start, especially after the European Court of Justice had already found Reitzmag guilty of breaking the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen. These apprehensions worsened after Reitzmag's intervention into Eastern Haane, but the final nail in the coffin seemed to come after the Councillor of Reitzmag voted in favour of the Ruthenish Neutrality Motion in the European Council, which Chief Bishop Secretary Firoux has characterised as a "step toward the normalization of international recognition of the UNSR".
The Chief Bishop Secretary, who initially favoured the treaty with Reitzmag, returned from Europolis and delivered disapproving remarks to the College of Bishops. "Reitzmag has now consistently, and once illegally, been shown to be open to collaborating with UNSR, doesn't share any of our views regarding the isolation of the illegitimate regime, and more consequentially, the country opposes us in the European Council on virtually every matter - our foreign policies simply don't add up. Reitzmag has its own sovereign prerogative to conduct its own foreign policy, however it's so different and divergent from Inquista's, that I'm not entirely sure how we could ever consider the country an ally, never mind also sell it military weapons."
Chief Bishop Secretary Firoux was originally seen as a keen ally of Reitzmag, but has since soured on his stance on the country following an attempt by the Reitzmic Councillor to bar him from European Council Speakership.
Archbishop Kligenberg expressed "regret" over the failure of her agreement to be ratified. The Archbishop, along with Bishop Secretary Silas Kligenberg, and 11 other bishops, were the only votes for the treaty. Bishop Sectary Silas Kligenberg, whose own military manufacturing businesses stood to benefit from the treaty, argued that the accord would have been economically beneficial to the country. The Archbishop, meanwhile, praised Prime Minister Simon Bridges as "a good guy who's not the monster that people make him out to be."
The Archbishop however was very quick to look for a replacement ally, and has now turned to Spain. The Archbishop departed Saint Dominico later this afternoon and is expected to meet with the Spanish President in Madrid, where she will hope to score a new agreement there.
In Free Icholasen, We Believe
Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg walked into the press gallery of the Archbishop's Palace alongside Samantha Terrace, the Acting Korojaunu of Icholasen. The two leaders sat themselves on a pink sofa, which the Archbishop had recently moved into the press gallery, where she has since been giving public addresses and answering press questions while lounging both comfortably and stylishly. Flags of the leader's respective states flanked their sides as they sat down on the pink sofa, practically sitting on each other's lap. The Archbishop sipped on a mint-flavoured latte with extra cream.
"I would like to begin by thanking Korojaunu Terrace for visiting us here in Saint Dominico, Inquista. This is the first time that a foreign head of government has visited Inquista since I've become Archbishop. It truly is an honour and a joy that the acting Nicoleizian Korojaunu is the first foreign dignitary that I've welcomed into these halls. Inquista and Icholasen share a deep bond and a special connection between our countries. Icholasen is one of Inquista's closest - if not our closest - ally in the international arena, and so I am pleased that we could welcome their leader as our special guest today.
The Korojaunu and I had a greatly productive conversation, where I reaffirmed Inquista's unwavering commitment and support to it's one true and legitimate government, which Korojaunu Terrace continues to lead with great strength as Premier Whiteford undertakes her European responsibilities. Since becoming Archbishop, I have reversed our Church's previous approach toward Icholasen, and I am staunchly and firmly committed to seeing all of Icholasen freed and returned to democratic rule.
I can assure Nicoleizians that Korojaunu Terrace has been doing a fantastic job as Acting Korojaunu, and it has been a pleasure to work alongside her. Korojaunu Terrace and I just spoke together recently during the latest meeting of the ENAA. While we have differing viewpoints on nuclear proliferation, which I am strongly against in all forms, I found myself to be very impressed with the Korojaunu's commitment to keeping the international community safe from communism. The Korojaunu has been working tirelessly behind the scenes to contain the influence of communism abroad, as well as to restore her government to power in Icholasen. Inquista will be resolute in supporting the Korojaunu, Icholasen, as well as our other allies, in seeing freedom and democracy reign in Icholasen and across Europe.
The Korojaunu and I will be meeting with other European heads of government and the heads of state this upcoming July 6th. Together, in partnership, the Korojaunu and I will push for an agenda that will help restore freedom to Icholasen and liberty to its peoples.
Before letting the Korojaunu speak, and before we answer any of your questions, I would like to bestow her with the Order of Inquista, which is the highest civil and secular honour that can be awarded by the Inquistan Orthodox Church. After becoming Archbishop, I bestowed this same honour to Premier Whiteford, and I would like to now extend the Order of Inquista to the acting Korojaunu as well. We bestow this Order to the Korojaunu not only as an extension of our friendship, but also as a recognition of the great work that she has been doing in advancing her country's interests during these trying and difficult times.
Thank you. Now onto you, Korojaunu."