A joint statement by the President of the European Central Bank and the Commissioner for EconomicsToday has seen unprecedented pressure upon the Euro currency. There seems to be rumour abounding upon rumour following a speculative and irresponsible report by the Californian Broadcasting Corporation suggesting that various nations are on the point of exiting the currency union. Of course nations are free to leave the Euro should they wish to do so, but they have to be aware of the severe economic repercussions that are likely to follow such an exit. Exiting a currency union is not something to be undertaken lightly.The Commissioner has today been meeting with the Finance Ministers of the Euro nations. There is nothing unusual in this and investors should not read anything into the existence of such meetings.To support the Euro and prevent its further decline in the markets tomorrow, the President of the European Central Bank wishes to announce a 2% rise in the base interest rates of the Eurozone, from 3% to 5%. Rest assured we will do everything necessary to safeguard the integrity of the Euro.Dr Michael Reed - President of the European Central BankDr Suzannah Beech - Commissioner for Economics
As the new Commissioner for Economic Affairs, I would like Sir Eric Pickles and Ms. Katyanova meet and begin our revitalization of this extraordinarily important development in Europe. I'd like to begin with a financial report.
Thank you for being able to handle a task as important as the one you have chosen to perform. We hope to increase trade with other nations to increase our nation's growing economy. Our President is thankful for your work.
I haven't heard back from any Government to the contrary and as trading in the foreign exchange markets has now come to a close, I will ask the President of the Central Bank, Dr Michael Reed, to formally announce the immediate ending of the Euro as a hard currency and the transfer of all Euro notes and coins to the Central Banks of Aleutia, California, Ger-many, Miraco and the Weiss Isles, to be formally known as the Aleutian Euro, the Californian Euro, the Ger-man Euro, the Miracan Euro and the Weissian Euro under the control of the respective Central Banks. Over the last few days, the value of the currency has been maintained, and I thank you all for your commitment to the smooth dismantling of the currency union.Dr Suzannah Beech - Commissioner for Economics
"well this has been a bloody waste of time," Alan Thomas was clearly angry. "So who does set fucking economic policy in the United Kingdom? Is it the monkey or the organ grinder? It clearly isn't you.""Alan, please ..." Suzannah Beech held out her hand palm outwards, indicating that she wished him to be quiet."You're not even the man who owns the organ. More likely the man who cleans up the shit after the monkey"Suzannah banged her fist down on the table. "Enough," she shouted. "I will not tolerate this sort of behaviour in my office."Alan Thomas reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes and started to light one. "Not in here, Mr Thomas," Suzannah said quietly, but with menace."Oh for fuck's sake," Thomas snarled as he stood, gathered his papers and stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him.There was a brief silence. Then Suzannah said to the British Civil Servant, "Well, I hope you have a good journey home. When you get back there please let your Prime Minister and Chancellor know that I am disappointed that they chose to send an official rather than a decision maker to seeme. If you eventually do work out who decides the economic policy of the United Kingdom, whether it is you, the Chancellor or the Prime Minister, please be sure to let me know."After Nicholas MacPherson had left the office, Dr Henry Davidson turned to the Commissioner for Economics and said "I think that went rather well."
Due to the new budget's generosity in terms of the Office of Defence 'n Peacekeepin', my Office has been able to expand the ERF while also successfully fully equippin' it at the same time. The recent deal to finally equip the ERF with the necessary items 'n gear has contributed to most of the recent ghetto spendin' from my Office. It is projected that we will have a surplus of ?3.7 billion at this time, but we request to maintain the current funding in order to allow room for further ERF expansion 'n for ERF operations (which sometimes tend to be unforeseeable occasions).
Commissioner for Defence and Peacekeeping
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