The Almirian Flamingo



  • The Almirian Flamingo

    The officially approved and only newspaper in Almiro. It's distributed by flamingos!

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    Start of a new(s) paper
    We, the redaction of our beloved and newly-created newspaper wish to welcome everyone of our readers, the complete population of Almiro, since this is a compulsory newspaper!
    Anyway, as head editor, I would like to say that we have been promised free speech, as long as we have the approved stamp:

    user posted image Officially approved by the Incorporated States of Almiro Ministry of Free Speech.

    This stamps guarantees we do not tell lies about our great government!

    In name of the whole staff, please enjoy the upcoming editions of the Almirian Flamingo. We will print new editions at least once a week, or when the government approves an extra editions.

    We are also obliged to say we are part of the Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda.

    Pascal Weiss

    • Chief Editor and Content Overview


  • The Almirian Flamingo

    The officially approved and only newspaper in Almiro. It's distributed by flamingos!

    9 August 2013 - Almiro City Today, in light of recent discoveries including treasures of gold, the Ministry of Culture passed a law the makes everything on public property and under 50 meters a national property.

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    A few weeks ago a bunch of teenagers found a gold treasure in a public lake north of Almiro City with a value of about 2 million Almiro. This has caused a lot of controversy, since the parents of the teens said "Finders, keepers. Our children have rightfully found this treasure, thus making it only natural it becomes our.. -euh- their property!". The mayor on the other hand feels that he should get it because "I'm the mayor for God's sake".

    When the case got in court, the judge issued an "unknown" status, which forwards the case to the Supreme Court. The jury there ruled the law "wasn't really clear in this case". They recommended a Supreme Intervention. For those who don't know, this is a special case where the authority to make a decision is given to the Great Leader.

    Rumors say this decision is heavily influenced by the Minister of Finance, but the new law has finally passed today. The law text:
    All findings on public territory are property of Almiro and must be handed over to the Ministry of Culture at once. Findings 50 meters below the surface are also property of Almiro, regardless of who owns the land above. Those findings must be handed over as well.

    The law passed in the official law magazine as "Following new legislation in Almiro, the government seizes all major gold finds."



  • The Almirian Flamingo

    The officially approved and only newspaper in Almiro. It's distributed by flamingos!

    New Constitution
    16 August 2013 - _Almiro City_In light of the recent protests against the government and the membership of the EU, H.M. has officially declared to form a constitution.

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    Due recent attacks on the government to rule like a dictator, the King has decided it is time to form and ratify a Constitution. Our journalists took a look at the draft (here). While the Constitution is a lot like other countries with protection for free speech and a decent support for the human rights, the constitution also has a few quirks. Our lawyer found that most articles have a 'except in cases described by law' clausule. An article also specifies that H.M. decides when a exception is made. This does resemble the current laws (H.M. can do anything).

    We also should be able to write whatever we want now, since there is free speech!



  • The Almirian Flamingo

    The officially approved and only newspaper in Almiro. It's distributed by flamingos!

    The Death of God?
    1 Septembre 2013 - Flamirio
    The government has cut all funding for religious institutions, what does this mean for God?

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    In a more controversial move, the Financial Committee cut all government funding for everything that has to do with religion. With the already declining member count, a spokesman told us 'God is going to die; people won't be able to go to church anymore. This is horrible'.

    The Financial Committee, appointed by the Ministry of Finance on request of His Majesty over two weeks ago. In press statement later, the King said: "We have requested this committee because we care about our citizens. Reports show us taxes are as high as 65%. In an effort the lower the taxes, the committee will be charged with investigating our current expenses, and it will have to power to submit proposals to the Council of Advisors to evaluate eventual new laws."

    This friday was announced a first law would be legislated in order to lower taxes with up to 2%. After the meeting of the Council, it appears the law was to stop funding all religious affairs. According to the report submitted to the Council, there are 463 churches in Almiro, 401 of them with less than 10 000 members.

    As previously mentioned, it is unknown what the effects will be on the religious life of the Almirian citizens. Our religious expert, Ikire Moand, has an interesting view on the case. According to Mr. Moand, this will get rid of 90% of our churches and transform the bigger ones into sects.

    For the religious readers, there is a major strike planned tomorrow, along with a demonstration in the front yard of the Royal Palace.

    We'll keep you posted.



  • The Almirian Flamingo

    The officially approved and only newspaper in Almiro. It's distributed by flamingos!

    Welcome to the EURO
    21 October 2013 - Flamirio
    Prepare your wallets for the EURO!

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    Today the government announced they would be changing our national currency, the Almiro, to the more widely-used Euro, in a move to integrate more in the European Union.

    According to the press release, one Almiro will be exchanged for one Euro. This means there won't be so much difference with how it's now. The Ministry of Finance said today in a press release that the exchange rate would be adapted in the coming 6 months to match prices in our neighbouring countries.

    The Euro will be available starting tomorrow and within 6 months, all money should be changed to Euro.



  • The Almirian Flamingo

    The officially approved and only newspaper in Almiro. It's distributed by flamingos!

    NEWS FLASH
    3 March 2014 - Almiro City Word has just arrived from the Royal Palace's representative that His Majesty has passed away, at 3 AM this morning.

    Traditionally, we will now have to wait 2 days for the release of the will of H.M. That document should contain the name of the rightful successor, although our sources indicate it will be the King's son.

    We will keep you posted about new developments. All businesses are closed today, in honour of His Majesty.


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