AR Times

  • AR Times 12 Dec. 2006 Issue. 01

    Cabinet Moves To Strengthen Military]

    IN a suprising turn-around, the Socially-minded Cabinet of Aesop Rocks has decided to begin building the military of the nation.

    The previously pacifist Government has decided that it is time for Aesop Rocks to have the ability to defend Herself. They have already created a small army to begin with and plans are in place to build upon this initial structure. With this, the Government has also conceeded that improving the economy will be neccessary to help in these efforts, issuing the following statement earlier this evening.


    Citizens of Aesop Rocks, I come before you to tell you of plans we have decided are neccessary for national security. We understand that many of our citizens are avidly pacifist, however we also have to come to the realisation that our nations borders need be secure from foreign threat. We are also a member of our regions Security Council and so are honorbound to supply troops for peacekeeping situations that may arise in the European Union. Whilst we are building an army, it is entirely for defensive purposes and peacekeeping missions. We assure both our citizens and neighbours that they need not be worried about our nations decision to increase our military power.

    We also realise that to build an army the economy is going to have to improve drastically. Therefore, Chancellor of the Exchequer Nuno Davis would like me to announce that taxes are going to be cut by 10% over the next month so as to increase consumer spending giving us the neccessary funds. Our economy has been based soley on a Socialist structure since written records and this is going to have to change. We are going to be introducing Private Enterprise to our nation to help in these efforts. I hope our citizens will embrace this change realising its beneficiality to our nation.

    As this is a matter of national security, we are not able to divulge exact plans or numbers on this subject. I am sure you will understand that to publicly accounce such material would be unwise. Thank you for your time.

    Comrade Trenchtown Phillip
    Head of State to Aesop Rocks

    The Chancellor also announced shortly after this that there are going to be cutbacks in a number of social policy areas. The most heavily effected area will be Social Welfare being reduced from 27 billion to around 20, however Public Transport and Healthcare are also incurring cuts. These cuts however, are assured to be reimbursed when the economy improves and so whilst they may effect a small number of citizens in the short-term, they will eventually serve to increase the economy and so allow greater spening all round. The Chancellor also assures citizens that cuts shall be made to areas of Administration in the said areas, so as to decrease the effects of these cuts.

    Whilst most in Aesop Rocks support these measures, a number of citizens are angry at these decisions. A number of Pacifist Lobby and Pressure Groups, including the influential ARHAB (Aesop Rocks Hippie's Against Bombs), have already begun plans for marches in the capital Moseley. The leader of ARHAB, Daisy Rosecottle, claimed, "Our Government have taken it upon themselves to remove the basic rights of our citizens in order to build an unneccessary army. Our nation has always been peaceful and our citizens do not wish this to change. This army shall not be in our name."

    The Government will face a strong opposition to this decision, however they have decided to go ahead with the plans. I am sure this will be of continual debate amongst citizens.

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