The United Reader



  • THE KING OF ICHOLASEN DIES SUDDENLY:

    The King of Icholasen has been King since February 2013 suddenly died. The King, who was only 40 was killed today in suspicious circumstances. The Palace of Saint Regina has not said how the death occurred. Because the Palace of Saint Regina is a lovely spot to visit, we talked to Civilians around the Palace.

    "Me and me wife were enjoying ourselves right outside t'up palace when the Traditionally dressed, but modernly weaponized guards told us to leave. We didn't know what was going on, but we wouldn't question people with such large weapons." - Yulia Frederikson, Tourist.

    "He was a great King, I was at his Coronation and all! He looks so handsome, I wouldn't mind being his Queen. Don't give me that look, just because he's dead doesn't mean I can't have a crush on him!" Stacey Kourts 13 Year old Girl, and "The King's Biggest Fan"

    The Prime Minister has yet to give a statement.

    The King's Daughter, Anastasia is next in line to the throne. She is not yet found a suitable suitor. Speaking in an interview last December, the Princess has this to say:

    Icholasen has such ugly men. I think I might marry someone from off this island of ugly men. Last generation we had nice looking men. Guess I was born in the wrong generation...

    The Princess Anastasia will Coronated next month, Royal experts state. We still wait in awe, and frustration to hear how the King died. The King was in perfect health last month when he ran the Saint Regina half marathon. His life was cut short nonetheless.



  • King is Killed by Localised Bomb Blast:

    The King was killed at approximately 15:00 GMT - Saint Regina Palace officials say. It is not yet known who the King was killed by. The Prime Minister delivered a statement. He was clearly on some next level coffee and was shaking, worried.

    The Government of this United Kingdom is saddened and wishes to make sure that Anastasia, Tommy, Frederik and the Queen Anne are assured that there won't be another terrorist attempt on their lives. The Bomb was localised, and as the King was in the centre of the Palace, tourists weren't harmed and therefore didn't see the event.

    HM Queen Anne was staying at Saint Pierre Castle and the Royal Children were at their Uncle's Palace at Saint Adelaide.

    Shocked and Sickened

    The Queen said that she was
    "Shocked and sickened by anyone who would want to relight the tensions between the Royalists and the Republicans. This is why the Civil war was fought, to stop people like YOU!"



  • Who Killed the King?!

    When talking about bombs these days it is often accredited to extreme terrorism, but not in this case. It was closer to home than that. The Royal Family employs its own guards because the Government doesn't spend money on defense. But a guard from the palace apparently smuggled in a small explosive. The guard of course was not a real guard, and fooled security. Here is the Prime Minister, Laverne Cox speaking:

    "This is a regrettable occurrence and we hope that it will not happen again."

    "What do you plan to do about this?"

    We're going to build a military."

    The Killer has yet to be identified.



  • Coronation Announced

    The Coronation of Princess Anastasia will be on the 4th June. This is also the Princess's Birthday. Anastasia will be the 2nd Official Monarch and her Residence will be at the Palace of Saint Regina. Officials say that the Coronation will be held at Saint Nikolai Cathedral in Saint Regina. It will be televised in Icholasen and to news networks around the EU if they decide to show up. Preparations have already started and everyone is excited, but yet mournful about the King's Death. We talked to some Citizens about the Coronation of Anastasia and the death of the King.

    I'm really excited about the Coronation, it's really exciting to see how people get all excited. My 7 sons are helping prepare the Cathedral. It's giving them a lot of money, none of which they're going to give to me, but I still love him. - Mother of 7.



  • Anastasia to be Coronated Queen of Icholasen

    Princess Anastasia will be crowned Queen of this United Kingdom. She is only 20, but will be 21 on her Coronation which is June 4th. It will be a grand affair with lots of EU Monarchs, Royals and Leaders. Icholasen is going to make this a Coronation to never forget. People from across Icholasen are excited, we talked to people from around our Island.

    "I love Anastasia, she's really pretty and she looks so nice in her snazzy dresses. I'm excited that Icholasen is receiving this much attention! Normally we get as much attention as an old, falling apart married couple get, but NO not now!" - Yassef H.



  • Statement about Davishire Troops:
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    The Prime Minister has issued a Statement about the not yet signed treaty between Icholasen and Davishire. Speaking at a newly founded base is Laverne Cox.
    "A few days ago ten thousand Davishire troops landed in our country. The Davishire New Network: In Other News glorified the action. Does this country that is a fiercely pacifist nation want this? 10,000 troops is too much! The trade agreements and the travel agreements are peaceful and will improve our economy, but this. I urge the Prime Minister of the Imperial Commonwealth of Davishire, Steve Mannion to leave now. Tear this base down now, Steve Mannion. Tear this base down."
    No one knows if Steve Mannion and Davishire will comply, but the Militia has been called which means all abled adults (18-30) have been called for National Service in case this turns nasty, hopefully not. The Prime Minister spoke to the United Reader:
    "Hi Laverne. I'm going to start of with asking, why?"
    Well, Colton although we have this treaty signed, we feel that we need to either scrap it or renegotiate because 10,000 troops is too much. It threatens our National Security and it is more than a strange land called the "US" has troops stationed in another strange country called "Afghanistan"."
    "But why now?"
    "Well you can't plan 10,000 troops landing in your country! We need to negotiate or we feel that it will not be in our favour."
    "What do you think will happen?"
    "I think it will be a peaceful exit from our island and we will seize all military connections with Davishire and only keep the open trade in place, because the heart of our Government is trying to improve Economy, so you, the worker can benefit."
    "Thanks for speaking with us Laverne!"
    "It's always a pleasure, Colton."

    The Prime Minister went on to say later on in Parliament that Queen Anastasia will not sign any treaty involving military in Icholasen. Also she reiterated the phrase: "Tear down this base now, Steve Mannion. Tear down this base now.



  • Prince Tommy gay?

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    Prince Tommy, heir to the Icholasen throne has been seen in these photos implying that Prince Tommy is gay. Prince Tommy accepted our request for an interview to speak out and tell people the rumours (and evidence) are either true / false. Does Icholasen really care if there is a gay monarch? Or will Anastasia have children and subsequently ruin his chances as King? We'll be asking the R?AL questions.
    "Hello your Majesty!"
    "Hi Colton!"
    "I'm going to start with the obvious. Are you in fact gay?"
    "Yes I am, Colton."
    "So you know you're the first gay royal in Icholasen?
    "Yes I do, and damned proud."
    "What do you have to say to those homophobic people out there?"
    "I'm second in line to the throne. I'm gay. I'm fabulous."
    "That's a great attitude to have Tommy. Thanks for talking to us!"

    It was also revealed that Prince Tommy was not in fact courting the man he was kissing, but hey, he's a young man. What can we expect? It has also been revealed that he is courting a man that was a a servant in the Palace. His name is Collin Baja. The Prince and Collin have since broken up. We talk to some people about the Prince's coming out.
    "Oh. I bet it was that Aureliana girl at the Coronation. She has the power to turn anyone gay." - Lianne Kent.
    "SINNER SIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!! It says in the BIBLE Leviticus 20:13 that it is a SIIIINN!!!" - Pastor James Orange, whilst wearing clothes made of two different fabrics, showing off his cross tattoo, wearing polyester, eating shrip and pork.
    "I hope he gets the throne. He'll make this country gayer than ever! And for the good of the people of course." - Tony Adams.



  • We are getting a Military!

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    Today we got a Military this is an important step for us as we've never had a military before and it's really great. We can't wait to taste our first blood. It's very nice. We focused on the Navy because we are an Island. It's really great. Now we talk to a prestigious guest, Lianne Kent!
    "Hi Colton!"
    "Hi Lianne! How do you feel about this new military of ours?"
    "It's alright... I guess... It'll help us if Aureliana comes back as a zombie/ghost."
    "Yes it would. How do you think this will affect opinions of us in the region?"
    "I think Altha - the home of the disgusting Aureliana - will realise that if they wish to bring another plague of bad looking, bad personality and generally just bad women into this EU they'll think twice."
    "How do you think Aureliana will try and hinder plans?"
    "She'll definitely try and sabotage our plans, anything that goes wrong is probably Aureliana. She's everywhere. Aurelianati."
    "Thanks for speaking to us Lianne!"



  • Icholasen Elections?

    It's election time in Icholasen! After two years of the First Parliamentary Government Laverne Cox has called a vote. In Icholasen's Politics after at least two years you can choose to have an election. Laverne Cox is high in the polls so that's probably (definitely) why. The (main) Candidates of the Election are as follows:
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    Laverne Cox is the Current Prime Minister and is in the Liberal Democratic Socialists.
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    Piper Elizabeth Schilling is the leader of the Labour Party.
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    Carol Anne Duffield is the leader of the Conservative Party.
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    Ellen Page is the leader of the Socialists.
    We asked all the Candidates a series of Questions:
    _"Hi Laverne!"
    "Hi Colton!"
    "What are your main points for this Election?"
    "My main points are Liberty, Equality and Freedom."
    "What are your main issues you wish to resolve in our country?"
    "I want to resolve the problem of under representation of Minorities and good representation. We might have to get Joss Whedon for that..."
    "What do you want to bring to the position?"
    "Well, Colton I believe I've done a pretty good job so far!"

    "Hi Piper"
    "Hi Colton!"
    "What are your main points for this election?"
    "My main points are to help the poorer citizens of this country but also try and boost the economy also."
    "What are your main issues you wish to resolve in this country?"
    "I wish to resolve the unreliable energy in this country. It is unrealistic to try and have 100% clean energy. A labour government will use Oil."
    "What do you want to bring to the position?"
    "I want to improve Prison standards."

    "Hi Carol"
    "Hi Colton!"
    "What are your main points for this election?"
    "I wish to powerhouse the economy and get a bigger military to make up for my husband."
    "What are the main issues you wish to resolve in this country?"
    "We're allowing Oil to go unused, like we have to use ALL the oil before we stop otherwise it will come back as dinosaurs and eat us all, even you Colton!"
    "Oh, my... What do you want to bring to this position?"
    "I wish to bring Conservatism to all! (Terms and conditions apply)

    "Hi Ellen!"
    "Hi Colton!"
    "What are your main points for this election?"
    "Very similar to Laverne we need to represent everyone."
    "What are the main issues you wish to resolve?"
    "I wish to resolve the problem of our school system. 75 minutes is not enough breaktime and I hear reports of young students getting 2 pieces of homework a week."
    "What will you bring to the position?"
    "Hopefully I'll bring my strength of character and strength of character." _



  • Votes are in, Coalition Announced

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    The Liberal Democratic Socialists and the Socialists came in a tie, so a Coalition has been announced. Laverne Cox will remain Prime Minister but Ellen Page will be Deputy Prime Minister. As is common with Coalitions, they disagree or one side takes Primary control. The Socialist and the Liberal Democratic Socialists are pretty much the same. They are both for Liberty and Centre Left ideology. This coalition has vowed to improve the economy and increase military funding. Hopefully they will be able to do this. Now the party on the other side of the Parliament is the Labour Party headed by Taylor Schilling. Most people have concerns that Ellen Page, head of the Socialists is not as strong a leader as Laverne Cox. This might lead to Laverne taking more and more power until Ellen is subpar and useless. Hopefully as their Political ideals are similar and they are friendly they will have a successful coalition. The Parliament now is dominated by the Socialist blue. The main competitors the Labour Party had a lot of votes but not enough. Laverne Cox and Ellen Page have announced their cabinet of ministers:
    Here is what the parliament now looks like with Liberal Democratic Socialists in Blue, Socialists in Light Blue, Labour in Red and Conservatives in Dark Blue and Green in you guessed it, green.
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  • Coalition Passes First Law

    The Coalition has passed their first law today. The law entails new Nuclear Power Plants in the United Kingdom of Icholasen. Nuclear Energy makes up 55% of Icholasen's Energy. The new law will entail the construction of another 2 Nuclear Power Stations along with the existing 20. Nuclear Power is very safe in Icholasen, there have been no accidents so far. Icholasen doesn't burn fossil fuels, but enjoys the smell of Nuclear Fission! The Socialists disagree with Nuclear Energy and one of their campaigns was to cut down on Nuclear Energy however the Liberal Democratic Socialists want more, as it is reliable, clean (Shh) and carbon-free. The Socialists have been over ruled by the Liberal Democratic Socialist, Laverne Cox. Laverne Cox has more sway in the Parliament as she has experience, trust and knowledge. Ellen Page however doesn't have those skills. The Parliament believes in Laverne Cox, not Ellen Page. Already Newspapers have been publishing cartoons of the size difference, both in power and in height.

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  • Prime Minister's Reaction to Groot Belgi?

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    Prime Minster Laverne Cox has made a statement after the events in Groot Belgi?:

    This is unacceptable! The Emperor has completely overstepped the mark here. You cannot do this, especially not in this type of Union where peace prevails. Icholasen is prepared to back up the former government over the emperor with Icholasen's Political and military power. We hope it doesn't come to war like it so often does with this... Dysfunctional... Nation. We urge the emperor to release his ministers, reform the government and step down. Icholasen will not stand for this especially not near Europolis.

    The Deputy Prime Minister had only one thing to say: Ditto



  • Trade Embargo on Groot Belgi?

    The Prime Minister has announced that Icholasen will no longer trade with Groot Belgi?. This comes as a Coup in the country has forced out democracy. "Not that they have anything we desire" she added. Also she was asked about the Military Movements.
    "It is necessary that if fighting breaks out that Icholasen is prepared to defend innocent civilians in Mainland Europe. If we do nothing we and other European nations are at risk."
    She also went on to talk about her policy of peace and hopefully the pressure applied by the trade embargo will make the Emperor abdicate.



  • Prime Minister and the Deputy set Fly to Europolis

    The Prime Minister and the Deputy Prime Minister are set to fly to Europolis tonight. In around 10 minutes tonight they will embark on a plane. They are going to try and solve things in Groot Belgi? Diplomatically. Queen Anastasia gave a speech today also.

    Groot Belgi?'s Emperor is frankly a menace that's why we are sending our best people, who were democratically voted in to Europolis. As Queen of Icholasen I vow never to abuse my power, and I also vow to invest the power I have into the Parliament. Furthermore I see it as my duty to protect Icholasen from it's long years of Dictatorship, and I hereby extend my vow to the European Union. I vow to never let a nation go through what we went through.

    They are being sent to Europolis as it is close to Groot Belgie but not inside Groot Belgie and Icholasen invites the Emperor or a spokesperson to come and meet the Icholasen envoy, which isn't only the Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister but a team of a Icholasen Diplomats.



  • Diplomatic Talks Begin

    The Prime Minister and Deputy Prime Minister are in Europolis talking to a Belgian Diplomat. This all comes as the countdown for Groot Belgi?'s Emperor has now reached halfway. Even with these diplomatic talks our military is ready to bomb their Capital. Icholasen feels strongly about democracy as until February 2013 we ourselves were a dictatorship and King Nikolai and Queen Anastasia have been working to undo the damage. Icholasen feels a strong connection to the opressed people of Groot Begi?.



  • PM and Deputy PM Leave Talks

    Groot Belgie hasn't made it easy for us and if they don't accept the deadline then we declare war. We think we are party to blame but not completely. They weren't being good negotiators and they didn't work for peace but for propaganda against democracy. They praise this as our fault but they will think differently if they don't accept the deadline and if they don't bombs will drop on their Capital. Good luck "emperor".



  • "STOP" Says Icholasen's Prime Minsiter

    Icholasen's Prime Minister has paused orders and is awaiting what to do next. After Inimicus is not in the war we have no means to get our troops across. Icholasen has halted all it's military action apart from surveillance planes over Groot Belgie even though the plane was shot down by Groot Belgie.

    It is apparent that Groot Belgi? is already very troubled and to do this would bring even more trouble. The Prime Minister apologises to all servicemen and women.



  • Icholasen's Airforce Helps Enforce Davishire's No-Fly Zone

    The Airforce is helping Davishire Enforce their no-fly zone over Groot Belgie. Even though no official agreement has been reached, we are flying over, surveying and making sure no unauthorised planes fly over. This all comes as the Groot Belgie crisis is getting less intense, but it could easily get a lot more volatile. Now Groot Belgie is trying to fix things but has got too high up in... Something that rhymes with hit... To deal with it properly. But good things come from bad things, Inimicus and Icholasen will be having a Summit to talk about military and other stuff.



  • New Ministers

    Several New Ministers have been announced. Sarah Palin, twin sister of the Conservative leader Caroll Anne Duffield has been announced minister of Health she is completely opposite to her twin sister in almost all regards. John (Leslie) Prescott is the New Minister of Defense, he is from the North and gets very... Let's not talk about that... Chris Grayling is the Minister of Education, he is not from the north and is very posh but yet not a conservative? The treasurer has been announced as Tony Blair. These are the most important people I'm Icholasen's Government.



  • Faith In Parliament Drops

    The Faith in Parliament by the people has dropped significantly, a survey says. This comes as the Government halts Solar (freaking) roadway production and usage across the country in favour of less green energies. What this might bring is a change or a referendum to see if Parliament should be given more or less power. Icholasen came out of a dictatorship in 2013 and so would it really wish to see Anastasia receive more power? Even when the government refuses to build Solar (freaking) Roadways. Generally everyone is content with the Government it the entire nation feels strongly about Solar (freaking) Roadways. It is important a government who wishes to get into power campaigns about two things Solar (freaking) Roadways and the further restriction of Dairy use.


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