The Chiltern Telegraph



  • The Telegraph

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    Boris Johnson Appointed Governor

    The new governer of the Chilterns has been appointed by Prime Minister Steve Mannion today. The Right Honourable Boris Johnson, who is a former conservative MP is now responsible for affairs in The Chilterns.

    When appointed Mr Johnson said "I welcome the Prime Minister in coming over the the Chilterns whenever he wants. It is a truly great place that Davishire can be pleased to count as an overseas territory"



  • The Chiltern Telegraph

    Police will no longer carry firearms

    Boris Johnson has confirmed today that police will no longer carry firearms on routine patrol. The Chilterns had been an anomaly in that police officers regularly carry firearms, unlike their counterparts in Davishire.

    The governor said "we must move to the idea of policing by consent. As someone said a long time ago the police are the people and the people are the police". However the Governor confirmed that the change would not mean that all police officers are unarmed and said "there will continue to be an armed response unit to respond to specific threats throughout the territory"

    Executive Confirms No Chiltern Defence Force, Davishire to provide Defence

    The Governor and Executive have agreed that the Commonwealth Overseas Territory of the Chilterns will not form its own defence forces, instead Davishire will provide a full defence guarantee to Chilterns.

    There have been calls from many people within Chilterns to set up the nations own defence forces. In order to ensure security but also to provide employment for many people.

    The Government of Davishire has agreed that the request from the territory is reasonable. THe Secretary of State for Defence, Malcolm Tucker, has confirmed that the number of men will double to 500,000 by the end of the month, 100 fighter aircraft will be stationed in the territory and 1 fleet consisting 50 ships will be stationed there. The Secretary of State also confirmed that the deployment will be "purely defensive at the request of the territory executive. We have a duty to defence Chilterns and will do so effectively and robustly"



  • The Chiltern Telegraph

    Chilterns Confirms It Will Break Ties with Davishire

    The Davishire overseas territory of The Chilterns has confirmed today that should Davishire continue on its reckless course it will pass laws to leave the commonwealth. The Senior Executive Minister, Rt Hon Angela Merkal EM said, "Davishires actions recently on the international stage have been, um, reckless to say the least. We don't want Chilterns to be related to this. That is why we are going to become a Commonwealth Realm. Davishire will have no control overs us whilst we are able to retain His Majesty as head of state"

    The Senior Executive Minister confirmed that the 1st November will be the date that the colony becomes independent. She also said, "We have all of the infrastructure in place and have done for some time, independance will make little difference as we have been running things here for, um a long time. We will then require all Davishire military forces & other operations to leave within 6 months of that date."

    The Prime Minister of Davishire, David Cameron, said that he "fully supports the will of the Chilternians" and wishes them "the best".



  • [b][size-15]The Chiltern Telegraph[/size]

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    Chilterns to Become a Republic

    The Senior executive Minister has confirmed that the Chilterns, once independant will become a Federal Republic. The new head of state will be a President who is elected every 4 years with a government chaired by a chancellor which is elected in a general election.

    The new system is going to be implemented after a general election and presidential election which is set to take place at the end of November on the exact same date as the Davishire General Elections.

    She has also confirmed that she will be remaining in her position as Senior Executive Minister until the general election next month and hopes to be able to negotiate with Davishire and other countries to form stable alliances and friendships. something she says "davishire appears unable to do"



  • The Chiltern Telegraph

    Chilterns Goes Independant, Streetparties Nationwide

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    Citizens accross the Chilterns have been celebrating what will become known as Independence Day. Last night at Midnight sovereignty over the Chilterns formally ceded from the Government of the Commonwealth of Davishire to that of the Chilterns Executive.

    The Senior Executive Minister has said, "This is a new period in the history of Chilterns. A better period, a period where the future is bright not bleak. We are no longer under the reign of what some nations call "crazyshire".
    She continued
    "however we are fully prepared to work with Davishire to promote a better future for both our nations. We will not however be working with them militarily in any way except when the Chilterns itself is directly threatened."

    It is important to note however that currently Davishire has around 10,000 troops in the Chilterns, they have however been given until the date of elections on the 21st November for those troops to be removed.



  • The Chiltern Telegraph

    Senior Executive Minister Set for Meeting with Davishire Prime Commissioner

    The Senior Executive Minister, Angela Merkal, is set to meet with the Prime Commissioner of Davishire prior to the elections which occur next week both in Davishire and in the Chilterns.

    The senior executive minister is expected to discuss matters of trade, as well as discussing the future relationship between the two countries. The Chilterns has a large reserve of gas just off the coast as well as diamonds located inland close to the border. It is widely believed that lucrative contracts worth a significant cost are going to be offered to Davishire.

    Meanwhile all 4 of the major parties within the Chilterns are gearing up for the elections next week. There are 200 seats in the Federal Assembly, 1 Deputy Chancellor, 1 Chancellor and also 1 President. The results which are due to be announced next Friday will tell us what government will lead the Chilterns for the next 4 years. The following people are running for the elections as detailed below,

    Presidential Election Candidates
    Alternatives- Mark Instone
    Democratic Party- Maurice Collins
    Conservative Party- Tony Blair
    Liberal Conservatives- Christopher Stockings
    Independent- Joanne Newton
    Independent- Christian Newmann

    Chancellor Election Candidates
    Alternatives- Owain Johns
    Democratic Party- Jim Dunn
    Conservative Party- Ed Milliband
    Liberal Conservative- Angela Merkal
    Independent- Tim Messenger
    Independent- Peter Eley
    Independent- Lee Turnham

    Deputy Chancellor
    Alternatives- Adolf Goering
    Democratic Party- Ralph Keagan
    Conservative Party- Emma Dainty
    Liberal Conservatives- Thomas Perry
    Independent- Eric Standworthy

    Federal Assembly Opinion Polls
    10,000 people surveyed

    Question- If there was an election tomorrow, who would you vote for?
    Alternatives-12%
    Democratic Party-10%
    Conservative Party- 35%
    Liberal Conservatives- 40%
    Other/Unsure- 3%



  • The Chiltern Telegraph

    Delayed Election Results Released

    The results of last weeks election, which have been delayed due to recounts have now been released by the Election Commission. The Election Monitor released the following statement,

    "I can confirm that 82% of the people of this Federal Republic of Chilterns did turn out to vote. I shall now include a complete list of the winning candidates and those which came second.

    I can confirm that the first and second places for the position of President of State are as follows, In first place, with 42% of the total vote is Christopher Stockings of the Liberal Conservative Party. In second place with 30% of the total vote Tony Blair of the Conservative Party. Therefore I can confirm that the person elected to the position of President of State is Christopher Stockings!

    I can now confirm the first and second places for the position of Chancellor of the Chilterns. The results are as follows. In first place with 52% of the vote is Angela Merkal of the Liberal Conservative Party, In second place with 33% of the vote is Ed Milliband of the conservative party. Therefore I do declare that Angela Merkal of the Liberal Conservative party be elected to the position of chancellor.

    And now for the position of deputy chancellor. I can confirm that in first place with 36% of the vote is Thomas Perry of the Liberal Conservative party. In second place with 25% of the vote is Adolf Goering of the alternative party. Therefore I can declare that Thomas Perry of the Liberal COnservatives is duly elected to the position of Deputy chancellor.

    The results for seats of the federal assembly will be confirmed when the results of all seats have been released."



  • The Chiltern Telegraph

    Chancellor Says No To Military Base

    Leaks from within the central government have suggested that the chancellor personally vetoed a Davishirian request to place 10,000 men and associated naval and air assets on Chilterns soil from the middle of next year.

    The request which was issued by Davishire who, since our independence, has lacked military accomodation capacity. Large areas of the eastern areas of the country were leased to the Davishirian military to house troops as well as a naval base which formerly accommodated 2 full fleets.

    Although there has been no official comment from the government, it is believed that the request was issued by Davishire just one week after independence was gained.

    In other news, the government has confirmed that it will not be allowing Davishirian companies access to the diamond mines of the south of the country nor the gas wells located off the coast. It is not known what will happen next as it was Davishirian companies which offered the only deal to the government to have access to the resources.



  • The Chiltern Telegraph

    Davishire Leases Chilterns Military Equipment

    The State Department for Defence has confirmed today that various defence assets have been leased to Chilterns from Davishire. This includes 2 light aircraft carriers, several destroyers and frigates and some diesel submarines. Aircraft and armoured vehicles have been provided.

    This is the first formal agreement between Davishire and its former colony since independence was gained in November. It is believed that Davishire has had to conduct a significant reorganisation of military structure and this equipment is surplus to requirements but still "top of the range".

    It has also been confirmed that the new carrier battlegroup which has been formed by the new light carriers called Invincible and Ark Royal will later sail out into the Atlantic and RV with a similar size Davishirian Taskforce and conduct one off wargames.[/align]



  • The Chiltern Telegraph

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    Saunderton, Sunday 8th March 2015

    The Deputy Chancellor Thomas Perry did today confirm that from the 1st June Cannabis will be legal for all persons aged over the age of 18 within the Chilterns with no further prosecutions for possession taking place from the 13th March.

    Mr Perry confirmed in a statement to the press that from the 13th March whilst no prosecution would be made for possession of cannabis, possession with intent to supply will remain a criminal offence with a maximum jail term of 15 years imprisonment. Cannabis will be sold through stores which must apply for a government licence, pay a cannabis licence fee. The price of cannabis will also be regulated by the Department for Health.

    The Deputy Chancellor also said,

    "This will be a massive benefit for the excheque.. sorry the country"



  • The Telegraph

    Chilterns to Hold Davishire Naval Base, In Return for Oil

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    The Chancellor has made an agreement with Prime Minister of Davishire that she will allow the construction of a naval base large enough to hold up to 30 surface ships and 20 submarines provided that Davishire agrees to protect the Chilterns and also assist in the provision of oil to the country.

    The Chilterns, which resides in the Carribbean (ooc-who changed it without asking?), is struggling to maintain its own armed forces due to oil shortages and a lack of funds since becoming an independent country in November of 2014.

    It is hoped that the trade agreement will help the Chilterns to fund its own armed forces, fuel its own armed forces but also improve its armed forces with the help of its former coloniser.



  • The Chiltern Telegraph

    Concerns as Hurricane Season Approaches

    There is concern about many in the national government about the upcoming onset of the annual hurrican season which runs from July through to October. Last year the Chilterns suffered little more than significant tropical storms but meteorologists have suggested that this year we are set to have some severe storms which could seriously impact our small island nation.

    Since independence the investment in the emergency services has fallen by half as the government struggles to maintain its base level of investment without support from the Davishirian government. There has been talk of the Chilterns rejoining Davishire, although the government has denied this.



  • Chiltern Telegraph

    The Met Office has warned that a significant tropical storm is currently approaching the Chilterns at the beginning of this years storm season. The storm is currently classified as a Category 1 hurricane, currently called Storm Nicholas has winds speeds of up to 110 mph however it is believed that this may get stronger in the coming weeks.

    The Ministry for Weather and Climate has provided the public with the following notice,

    "Hurricane Nichoas is currently scheduled to approach the island of Chilterns at the end of this week, around Friday lunchtime. It is highly likely that the storm will increase in strength brining it into the levels of a Category 3 or possibly a category 4 hurricane. Safety precautions will means that all flights, except for the military QRA, will cease at 23:00hrs on the 23rd July. The government advises all citizens to take cover where possible and secure all houses and outbuildings"


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