News from the Swamp

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    The Clamour for Glamour at the EU Council

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    Temperatures have soared over recent days in the Council of the European Union. Not though as members debate the Abolition of Capital Punishment, the Legalisation of Cannabis or the civil war in the Teutonic State. The rise in temperature and testosterone has been caused by the entry of Framptonia to the European Union. Or more acurately, the entry of Framptonia's Councillor, Mrs Lucinda Bareham.

    The attractive leggy blonde has certainly been a hit with some of the male Councillors from other Countries. The choice of Mrs Bareham by Prime Minister Ric Metcalfe, appeared initially to be something of a joke. But judging from way some of the other Councillors melt under the gaze of her hazel eyes, she has been a success for our small Country and is already making a steady stream of useful relationships with important parties.

    One member, who wished to remain anonymous said, "When she uncrosses her long, long legs before standing to address the Council, there is a crackle of static from her nylons and the whole chamber is electrified."

    Mrs Bareham, who was formerly a glamour model, before launching her own lingerie company, leapt into the headines last year when she married David Bareham, the elderly ninth Duke of Eloe and Framptonia's wealthiest man. Mrs Bareham declines to use her title of Duchess of Eloe.

    The Duke is a direct descendant of Lucius Bareham, who played a pivotal and legendary role in the establishment of Framptonia's independence from the Dutch.

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    EU Cannabis Act goes to pot

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    As the more relaxed and chilled members of the European Union celebrated the passing of the European Cannabis Act, the Federal State Government of New Holland have rolled up their sleeves, rather than their joints and announced their response to an Act which they oppose.

    At a press conference to announce the Government's response, State Governor Nick Boles laid out how he intends to maintain New Holland's strong anti-drugs stance while at the same time remaining within the EU law and legalising cannabis. In a rare show of political unity, Mr Boles, the current poster boy of the Christian Democrats and the Federal Prime Minister Ric Metcalfe of the Framptonian Democratic Socialist Party have hammered out what Mr Boles called "a cunning plan".

    "The European Cannabis Act is a poorly written piece of legislation and it has more loop holes than my grandfather's fishing net," Mr Boles quipped. "The State Government of Kesteven and the Federal Government of Framptonia have identified a way that we can approve this preposterous legislation, but still retain our strong anti-drug policies."

    The EU Act requires that personal possession of cannabis be legalised across the EU and gives each state the right to set a maximum proscribed limit. It also makes laws about the right to grow one's own cannabis and to give cannabis as a gift.

    The proposal the Mr Boles will put to the State Government of New Holland is that they should adopt the terms of the Cannabis Act, but set a maximum permitted personal allowance of one gramme, the exact same level as the minimum level set by the Act.

    A smiling Mr Boles announced, "The setting of the maximum permitted at one gramme per person will effectively make the rules regarding possession of plants and the donation of gifts redundant. You will be able to own the plants, but as soon as you harvest more than one gramme, you will have broken the law. You can give your mates down the pub thirty grammes as a gift, but as soon as they accept it, they will have broken the law."

    Mr Boles is adopting a high risk strategy in announcing his plans. He plans to take legislation to adopt the Cannabis Act through the New Holland Senate before 20th April in order to comply with the Act and set a maximum permitted amount, but then seek an immediate referendum to seek the approval of the electorate.

    Mr Boles and Mr Metcalfe both acknowledged the roles that the Federal Government's Attorney General and the Lord Chief Justice, Mrs Jane Dorr had played in devising this strategy.

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    Boris Island Plans Take Off

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    The rumoured Government's plans to build an international travel hub on reclaimed land in the North of Lindsey, appear to have more than a grain of truth, after a careless Government Official left a highly confidential dossier in the back of a taxi.

    The dossier which has been seen by The Weekly Telegraph proposes the building of a massive nine runway airport on land that is currently salt marsh. The airport would be complemented by an international railway terminal and a deep sea ferry and cargo port.

    The railway terminal is designed to have links to both Poland-Lythuania and Kryuland as well as the major cities of Framptonia.

    The land upon which the proposed hub will be built is currently salt marsh and an area of special scientific interest with many of Europe's rarest waterfowl using the area to over winter. Environmentalists have been critical of the rumours, with many trying to buy up bits of the area to make any compulsory purchase difficult. The report identifies this as a potential blockage, but suggests that it will be overcome as the area suggested currently lies beyond Framptonia's sea defences and therefore cannot legally be owned except with the explicit permission of the state.

    It is not clear from where the funding for this massive infrastructure project will come, but of more concern for the report's author is the reaction from our neighbour Poland-Lythuania. The Government hopes that PL will fully support the project and is keen to promote the benefits to PL of this venture.

    The proposal not only creates a major international hub and will make Framptonia a less isolated place, but it is hoped will allow Crudness to become a major seaside tourist destination competing with Biaritz, Rio de Janeiro and Cannes.

    It seems likely that the popular name of Boris Island will be adopted by the Government. This was the name given by the press to the project when it was first mooted by the then State Governor of Lindsey, Boris Bogson. Mr Bogson has since become the Leader of the Christian Democrat Opposition in the Federal Framptonia Parliament.

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    Peace in Our Times please

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    The City Centre of The Federal National Capital were brought to a grinding halt yesterday by unprecedented demonstrations against any possible involvement of Framptonian forces in the Civil War raging in the Teutonic State.

    Many civilians have been killed in the war between the Government and the insurgents. Matters have escalated to a position where the States of Davishire and Pacifist Cowards have mobilised and embarked troops in support of the Teutonic Government. The EU Council is considering a proposal to mobilise a peace keeping force to issue humanitarian aid.

    The central streets of Limpdon were crowded by peace demonstrators, with police estimates of between 250,000 and 300,000 demonstrators. The Framptonian Councillor at the EU, Mrs Linda Bareham addressed the demonstration and stated that she was doing all she could to persuade the Council not to inflame matters by raising an EU force.

    A man in balaclava and claiming to represent the hard left Framptonian Communist Party interrupted the speeches when he climbed on the stage and brushed aside Mrs Bareham. "We must stand shoulder to shoulder with our comrades in the Teutonic State. The capitalist state of Davishire has already sent troops against our comrades and we must consider taking action against them for this crime against the proletariat."

    As the anonymous speaker harangued the crowd, security forces smuggled Mrs Bareham from the stage and to a backstage place of safety.

    After the event, a tearful and clearly shaken Mrs Bareham gave an interview to FBC. "I was disappointed not to be able to explain the Government's policy on this issue in full detail," she said. "I was like in total shock, when I saw the man on the stage. It was like - OMG. But the security boys were great, a girl never feels safer than when being manhandled by a hunk in uniform. But they did manage to ladder one of my stockings."

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    Immigration Time Bomb Explodes

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    Newly released Government figures show that in the short period that Framptonia has been a member of the European Union there has been a fifty fold increase in the number of migrants coming to our Country from overseas. The right to travel to Framptonia has been extended to the entire population of the EU.

    The leader of Framptonia for Framptonians (FFF), Rupert Bunter-Snark told Lindsey State Senate, "These migrants are coming here taking the jobs and houses of Framptonians, putting stress on our doctor's surgeries and schools and claiming all the welfare benefits they can manage." Mr Bunter-Snark also pointed out that there have been recent epidemics of tuberculosis and polio, which he states have been spread by the migrants.

    "To make it even worse," he continued, "the proposals for the international travel hub at Boris Island will make matters worse. Who do you suppose is going to build this white elephant? Just a way to get more of the dregs of Europe onto our payroll."

    He was roundly booed by the other members of the Senate who ratified the State Parliament's decision to request entry to the EU.

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    Boles Sells Soul in Rolls Poll

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    Christian Democrat Governor of New Holland Nick Boles broke with hundreds of years of tradition yesterday. He formally proposed to the State Senate a bill to legalise the personal possession of cannabis, as he is required to do by European Law. The move was roundly condemned by Pastor Niek Berhhaus Moderator of the Framptonian Dutch Free Church, the first time the Church has ever publicly criticised any level of Government within Framptonia.

    With both the Christian Democrats and the Democratic Socialist Party placing three line whips upon their Senators to vote for the bill, it seems unlikely that the bill will not become law. The hardline Oranje Vrijheid Partij is violently opposed to the bill and whilst unlikely to win the vote in the Senate has been handed a lifeline by Mr Boles.

    Mr Boles famously stated during the televised debates in the lead up to the referendum on European Union membership, that the legalisation of cannabis in New Holland would take place "over my dead body". As a concession he has set the maximum permitted level of cannabis possession at 1 gramme, which effectively rail roads most of the proposed legislation and may throw the State of New Holland into direct confrontation with the European Court.

    As a yet further concession, Mr Boles has agreed that once the legislation is passed, he will hold a State wide referendum to ratify the decision. The OVP expects that its support in the referendum will be greater than their usual level of support within the State, as many Christian Democrats are also thought to be opposed to drug law liberalisation.

    It is uncertain how Mr Boles will react should he succeed in getting the legislation through the Senate, but fail to get public support in the referendum. Previous referenda have been used to decide how a matter should be legislated, such as the decision to join the European Union. This will be the first time a referendum has been offered to the public after legislation has already been agreed.

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    Jezza Resigns!

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    The nation was shocked to hear that Jeremy Clarknob last night resigned as Secretary of State for Transport in the State Government. It is understood that he tendered his resignation in an expletive filled text message, sent to the State Prime Minister, Mr Ric Metclafe. Sources from inside the Prime Minister's Office state that Mr Clarknob had been summonsed to the Prime Minister's Office this morning, where it was expected that he would be dismissed. Mr Clarknob, whose wife said he was playing with his Scaletrix when the summons arrived, was said to be furious to be disturbed just as he was about to complete a record time for his Silverstone circuit.

    The outspoken and controversial Mr Clarknob, had found himself in hot water recently following the accidental leaking of information about the international travel hub being proposed for the North Eastern shores of Framptonia. The document was leaked when it was inadvertently left in the back of a taxi by a senior official of the Department of Transport. Mr Clarknob is believed to have bawled out the slack official before punching him square on the nose.

    Mr Clarknob's embarrassment by the leak was heightened as it showed the advanced plans for the Boris Island hub include an international railway terminal. Mr Clarknob has been retained as a paid consultant by the Framptonian Automobile Association for a number of years. The FAA was completely unaware of the plans for a rail terminal and were wrongly lead to understand that Mr Clarknob's presence as Secretary of State for Transport would scupper any plans except for motorway connection.

    The Prime Minister is expected to announce his replacement for Mr Clarknob tomorrow.

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    The end of the line

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    The nation was thrown into a state of shock last night, as the President, Sir Mark Simmonds announced that the former President and 9th Duke of Eloe, the Right Honourable David Bareham has been admitted to hospital having suffered a massive stroke.

    The 83 year old, who is reputed to be the richest man in Framptonia is being treated in the Presidential Medical Centre at the Presidential Palace. It is believed that his wife, the Duchess, Mrs Lucinda Bareham (pictured above) is at his bedside. Mrs Bareham, who is 39 his junior, married the Duke last year.

    There has been speculation in recent years as to what will happen to the Duchy of Eloe on the passing of the Duke. The Duke has no surviving descendants, with his only son, Philip, dying in a skiing accident in 1980, when he was only 16 years old. His daughter Monica died in childbirth in 1992 and the child only survived for three days.

    There has been a furious and unresolved debate as to whether on his death, the title of the Duke of Eloe would be extinguished or would pass to his nearest surviving relative, his cousin Mrs Lucy Hardy.

    The Duchy has been the only hereditary peerage in the history of Framptonia and except for the brief period of the monarchy the only hereditary title.

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    Austin Motors in

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    Austin Pritchard, Senator and former Governor for New Holland

    In what would be a highly unpredicted move, rumours around the corridors of the Federal Parliament in Limpdom suggested that the Prime Minister, Mr Ric Metcalfe, is about to invite the former Governor of New Holland and current Senator for Simpleton, Mr Austin Pritchard to be the Secretary of State for Transport. The appointment of Mr Pritchard would be a shock to match the surprise when Mr Metcalfe appointed the previous Secretary of State, Jeremy Clarknob.

    Reports from Democratic Socialist Party Headquarters in Witham Towers suggest that Mr Metcalfe is seeking a way to appoint Mr Pritchard. As Mr Pritchard is a Senator in the New Holland Senate and not a member of the Federal Parliament he is constitutionally unable to hold a Secretary of Stateship.

    Concern has also been expressed by un-named DSP backbench MPs, who blame Mr Pritchard's Governorship and subsequent electoral humiliation for causing the previously secure DSP control of Parliament to be placed in jeopardy. Mr Pritchard ran a hugely successful election campaign for the New Holland Senate in 2007, which resulted in a DSP majority in that Senate for the first and only time. His campaign tapped into the local sentiment that New Holland was poorly served by the national motorway network, a situation which he promised to rectify if made State Governor.

    The then Christian Democrat State Governor and now Federal President, Sir Mark Simmonds, argued that this was a promise which the State Governor could not deliver as Motorway network was a Federal responsibility. Regardless of this, the electorate returned Mr Pritchard a working majority in the Senate and he was declared to the State Governor by the then State President, Sir Peter Tapped.

    Mr Pritchard failed to elicit any support or funding from the Federal Parliament and at the following elections in 2011 the DSP was conclusively defeated by the CDU with only a handful of DSP Senators being elected.

    Mr Pritchard and the Office of the Prime Minister refused to comment.

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    Aisla Sinclair on a C5

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    Mrs Aisla Sinclair is the new Secretary of State for Transport, the FBC has learned. The MP for Bouring in Kesteven is expected to be announced by Prime Minister Mr Ric Metcalfe shortly. The former TV presenter is believed to have been Mr Metcalfe's second choice behind his long term friend Mr Austin Pritchard. However, Mr Pritchard does not hold a seat in the Framptonian Parliament and the Constitution requires that all Secretaries of State are sitting MPs.

    Mrs Sinclair is widely known throughout Kesteven, but less well known in the two other Federal States of Framptonia. Her husband is the renowned Framptonian inventor Sir Klein Sinclair, the inventor of the quirky electric pedal car, the C5.

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    Boles pushes nation to the brink

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    The Senate of New Holland last night voted in favour of the Legalisation of Cannabis Act to bring New Holland in line with the European Union's Cannabis Act 2015. Failure to adopt the Act, which has already been adopted by the Federal Senates of Kesteven and Lindsey, could potentially have lead to the Framptonia facing prosecution at the European Court.

    But in a later move designed to neuter the Act, Nick Boles, the State Governor of New Holland laid the Legalisation of Cannabis (Maximum Permitted Personal Allowance) Order as permitted by the original EU Act. In the Order Mr Boles set the maximum permitted allowance at 1 gramme, the minimum level permitted within the Act.

    The Act permits people to give a third party up to 30 grammes of prepared cannabis as a gift. It also allows individuals to possess up to six mature cannabis plants, provided they are for personal use. By setting the maximum permitted level at 1 gramme, Mr Boles has circumvented much of the legislation. He explained to the Senate, "A person may have six cannabis plants, but if he harvests it at more than one gramme at a time he will be in breach of the permitted allowance and at risk of arrest. He can avoid arrest, by harvesting them to use as a gift of up to thirty grammes to give to someone else. But as soon as he gives the gift, the other person will be holding over thirty times the permitted allowance and become liable for prosecution."

    The Act must now be ratified by the Federal State Ratification Committee of the National Parliament, but that ratification is expected to be a forgone conclusion, as constitutionally it can only refuse to ratify an Act of a Federal Senate which is either illegal or unconstitutional and there is no suggestion that this Act is either of these.

    The Act comes into force immediately and can only be revoked by repeal or by its failure to be ratified. However, Mr Boles has announced that he will be holding a State Referendum on Thursday 30th April to confirm the ratification.

    It is unclear what action Mr Boles will take if the referendum does not return him a majority. Mrs Suzannah Beech, the Federal Secretary of State for Judicial and Constitutional Affairs warned Mr Boles that his derives from the President and the Senate of New Holland and that if he was to override a Presidential or Senate decision on the basis of an unconstitutional poll, he could find himself subject to a State Impeachment.

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    you may go to the brawl

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    Our Cinders, Mrs Lucinda Bareham, the Country's representative at the European Council and wife of the hospitalised ninth Duke of Eloe, came out fighting when challenged at the televised debate for the European Commission today.

    Mrs Bareham, was for years known as Cinders in recognistion of her abbreviated first name and lowly upbringing was seen as the face and body of The Sol having been our most successful model ever.

    She was initially challenged by the Commissioner for Economics over her views on fixed exchange rates and gave a technical answer to which the Commissioner did not respond. But the real fireworks started when the Councillor from The United Kingdom, Ms Renata Kligenberg accused the Government of Framptonia of deliberately dragging its heels over the legalisation of cannabis act which has caused great difficulty in the Republic of New Holland.

    Mrs Bareham refuted the statements of Ms Kligenberg, pointing out that the Act had already passed into law, so the Government could not be accused of delay. Ms Kligenberg refused to retract her claim stating that she had read it in the paper. In true Cinders fashion, Mrs Bareham patiently explained the process to Ms Kligenberg, who simply repeated her allegations, despite their being quite patently untrue. Finally in apparent exasperation at having nowhere to turn and having no choice but to admit her error, she launched a personal attack upon Mrs Bareham, criticising her dress sense, stating it was unbecoming and came as close to calling her a common prostitute as it is possible to manage in polite company without using those words.

    Ms Kligenberg who in the United Kingdom has the official title of Renata, Duchess of Kent, claimed to be working on behalf of the working classes of Europe by employing them in her fashion company.

    Mrs Bareham has had a real rags to riches career, after she was orphaned at 14 years old and taken into care. After her successful modelling career founded a successful online and high street lingerie company with the backing of the proprietor of The Sol, the ninth Duke of Eloe, who became her lifelong friend and later her husband.

    We think our readers will agree that we'd rather see our Cinders in her sexy undies, than the Duchess of Kent dressed in one of her frumpy outfits.

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    Boles bows out

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    Nick Boles riding into the Valley of Death

    Nick Boles last night resigned from his position as State Governor of New Holland stating that he had been mislead by the Secretary of State for Constitutional and Judicial Affairs, Mrs Suzannah Beech.

    In an emotional farewell speech he criticised the decision of Framptonia to join the European Union. "I felt like a lone voice, leading the campaign against joining the European Union. I argued that it would lead to our handing our sovereignty to Europolis and was told that I was scare mongering. Now we've had to introduce the legalisation of cannabis, against the wishes of the people of New Holland, because the Eunuchs of Europolis tell is to do so."

    He also claimed that Mrs Beech had told him that he would be allowed to hold a binding referendum on the issue and it was on this understanding that he proposed the acceptance of the EU Act. Mrs Beech denies this and released the minutes of the meeting that took place between her and Mr Boles.

    An angry Mrs Beech made the following statement from the steps of her office, "The minutes of the meeting show that we did not discuss the issue of the proposed referendum at that meeting. But at 3:00 am the following morning I was woken by a telephone call at my home from a very drunk Mr Boles who was suggesting that we hold a referendum. I can't recall exactly what I told him, but I can ensure everyone in Framptonia, that I do not make constitutional decisions of huge importance whilst wearing my nightwear and lying in bed."

    It is not clear who the President will ask to be the next State Governor.

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    The Nation mourns

    The nation of Framptonia was stunned last night to learn of the death of the former President and 9th Duke of Eloe, the Right Honourable Sir David Bareham.

    The Duke suffered what was described as a massive stroke ten days ago and did not regain consciousness. A clearly distraught President, His Excellency Sir Mark Simmonds said, "The nation has lost a hero and a true son. He and his family have given so much to the nation. We are all indebted to this family that founded our great Republic."

    The Duke who was 83 years old, was reputed to be the richest man in Framptonia and was being treated in the Presidential Medical Centre at the Presidential Palace. It is believed that his wife, the Duchess, Mrs Lucinda Bareham travelled straight from the European Commissioner debate in Europolis, but arrived at the hospital about half an hour after the Duke passed away. Mrs Bareham, who is 39 younger than the Duke, married him last year.

    Mrs Bareham is not expected to be elevated to the European Commission after an erratic performance in the televised debate, which many put down to the pressure of being away from her husband's bedside.

    There has been speculation in recent years as to what would happen to the Duchy of Eloe on the passing of the Duke. The Duke has no surviving descendants, with his only son, Philip, dying in a skiing accident in 1980, when he was only 16 years old. His daughter Monica died in childbirth in 1992 and the child only survived for three days.

    There has been a furious and unresolved debate as to whether on his death, the title of the Duke of Eloe would be extinguished or would pass to his nearest surviving relative, his cousin Mrs Lucy Hardy.

    The Duchy has been the only hereditary peerage in the history of Framptonia and except for the brief period of the monarchy the only hereditary title. The third Duke of Eloe was the first President of Framptonia and each subsequent Duke has served a term as President. The ninth Duke was President between 1976 and 1984. During his Presidency he oversaw the vast extension of the social welfare and healthcare system at the same time as imposing tough restrictions on the trades union movement.

    Details of the funeral have yet to be announced.

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    Revised television and radio schedules

    The schedules for FBC Radio and Television will alter on Thursday 23rd April 2015 to accommodate the State Funeral of the 26th President of the Federal Democratic Republics of Framptonia, David Bareham, the ninth Duke of Eloe.

    The funeral and its preparations will be broadcast live on FBC1 and FBC Radio 4. The scheduled broadcast of The Ptolemy Bile Show will be shown latter in the year. The broadcast of the funeral will be hosted by famed FBC presenter, Peter Levity.

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    Peter Levity is to front the broadcast of the State Funeral

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    Jezza and Boles in FFF Defections

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    Rupert Bunter-Snark the leader of Framptonia for Framptonians landed a massive coup yesterday when he announced the defection of senior members to his party from both the Democratic Socialists and the Christian Democrats.

    Former State Governor of New Holland, Nick Boles and a current Senator announced yesterday afternoon that he had resigned from the Christian Democrat, but he gave no indication of the shock announcement to come later. Mr Boles, who only resigned from the State Governorship last week, was only ever seen to be on the Euro-sceptic wing of the Christian Democrats, but has now joined a party that is outspokenly opposed to Framptonia's membership of the European Union.

    Mr Jeremy Clarknob was the Secretary of State for Transport in the Federal State Government until he resigned to avoid his dismissal by the Prime Minister over an allegation that he had assaulted a senior civil servant. Mr Clarknob has always been considered a maverick and was a risky choice to join the Cabinet.

    At a press conference held in the main committee room of the State Parliament, Mr Bunter Snark announced that both men had joined the FFF and would be active representatives in their respective democratic bodies. Neither the DSP nor the CDU were prepared to comment on the defections, though both parties must be hoping that last night was a one off.

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    Drug raids continue despite Cannabis Act**

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    The Government of the Federal Republic of New Holland yesterday threw down the gauntlet to both the State Government of the Federal Democratic Republics of Framptonia and the European Union.

    The New Holland Police raided a property on the outskirts of Bogthorpe earlier this week after intelligence indicated that it contained a cannabis farm. Police came out of the building empty handed after all they found were 6 mature cannabis plants, which under the Cannabis Act has been legal within New Holland since the start of this week. But yesterday the police returned to the same property and found 45 grammes of cannabis, which is considerably in excess of the permitted amount of 1 gramme allowed for personal use under the Cannabis Act (Maximum Permitted Allowance) Regulations.

    The householder, who is understood to be a Mrs Mack Head, was arrested and charged with offences under the Permitted Allowance Regulations. She was bailed to return to Court later this week.

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    The long goodbye

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    The mourners stand as Mrs Bareham delivers her husband's eulogy
    Our heartbroken nation watched as Sir David Bareham, 26th President of the Democratic Republics of Framptonia and the 9th and final Duke of Eloe was laid to rest earlier today following a state funeral at the Cathedral of St Hugh in Lindom.

    The service was televised live by the FBC and is estimated to have been watched by in excess of 40 million Framptonians. The Ambassadors of many foreign nations as well as the two surviving former Presidents were in attendance, along with the current President His Excellency Sir Mark Simmonds.

    The eulogy was read by the Duke's wife, the Dowager Duchess Mrs Lucinda Bareham, whose voice broke as she extolled her late husbands generosity and compassion.

    After the funeral, the Duke's body was taken in a cortege to his family home outside Bogthorpe, where after a family only service he was buried in his family grave alongside his first wife and two children.

    He shall never be replaced.

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    Drugs case goes up in smoke

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    The Government of the Republic of New Holland was rocked last night after the first drugs case brought under the new Cannabis Act collapsed at Bogthorpe Central Magistrates Court yesterday.

    The Framptonian Prosecution Service brought the case against Mrs Mack Head after the New Holland Police raided her home on two occasions earlier this week. On the first occasion, the Police found six mature cannabis plants. On the second occasion, which was three days after the first, they found four cannabis plants and 45 grammes of cannabis.

    Under the Cannabis (Maximum Permitted Allowance) Regulations, possession of more than one gramme of cannabis for personal use is an offence. The Cannabis Act permits an individual to own up to six mature cannabis plants. Mrs Head was prosecuted for having in her possession 45 times the permitted amount and was expected to be given a custodial sentence.

    Superindent Magistrate Mr Michael Heath of the Boghthorpe Circuit in New Holland, heard evidence from Mrs Mel Bradford, the Principal Prosecutor of the FPS that Mrs Head had admitted to harvesting two of her plants generating a substantial amount of cannabis which was purely for personal use. She denied, said Mrs Bradford, that it was intended for use by anybody else.

    Counsel for Mrs Head, Mr Ash Brownee, told the Court that she had grown the drug solely for her own use, as she was permitted to do under another part of the Cannabis Act.

    In finding Mrs Head not guilty of the offence under the Cannabis (Maximum Permitted Allowance) Regulations, Superindent Magistrate Heath said in judgement, that the law was clearly contradictory, and that if one article permitted an act and another banned the same act, the the law could not tolerate the inconsistency and unless there were compelling reasons to the contrary, the law permitting the act must take precedence. Accordingly he pronounced Mrs Head not guilty and released her from all charges.

    Mrs Head, on the Court steps, was ecstatic and praised the common sense approach that Superindent Magistrate Heath had adopted.

    No one from the New Holland Republic Government or the Fraptonian Prosecution Service was available for comment.

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