Trudeau visists the UK
It was around 11am when Justin Trudeau got on his small Cessna plane and headed to the airport in the UK. He figured the airport he would be landing in was worth more than a city or two in Albion.
He wanted to visit and tour for not only publicity, but for fun as well. Running for Governor General was important to him, so he needed all the support he could garner. If the UK supported him that would win over many of the big island residents. Mainlanders would be more of a challenge.
His plane started to touch down on the runway several hours later..
2 April 2015
London City Airport
An excited press corps gathered at Terminal 5 of London City Airport. The Cessna of the Governor General candidate touched down and they brought him to the terminal amid the chaos of questions. The person he was going to meet was Jeremy Paxman, where he would be interviewed for ITN news. Afterwards, Mr. Trudeau would have a meeting with the King himself. All of the candidates for Governor General of Albion on Sea would need to have the approval of His Majesty King William V before they were able to assume the post as his representative in Albion.
Trudeau got out of the plane, excited to visit the UK. He had been reading about his destination and was thrilled to see it for the first time since he was young.
He approached the press members, slicking his hair neatly as he walked.
"I'm so glad to be here in the UK truly, the landing was smooth as ever on this runway. If this is a sign of thing to come, I have great expectations for this trip."
Trudeau stared at the crowd, scouting out any potential consorts to give his number too. Who said he can't have fun on the job?
Mr. Paxman found Mr. Trudeau amidst the press and the admirers and pulled him over towards him.
"Mr. Trudeau, it is a pleasure to meet you. Please, follow us to our car and we'll take you to the ITN studios for your interview," Mr. Paxman said to Mr. Trudeau. "Please, come with us and let's talk in the car a bit."
After a jaunt in the car, Mr. Paxman (after reassuring Mr.Trudeau that there was no wire on him) asked a couple of questions.
"So when was the last time you were in Britain?"
Trudeau sat in the car, feeling a bit cramped but happy. He stared out the window at one of the reporters as they left. "Oh-uh..well I think the last time I was in Britain I was about..say 12? It was a great time, my parents took me here to see the London Symphony Orchestra. What has changed since then?"
"Well, Britain since then still has the London Symphony. In fact, we have 43 orchestras in London alone and nearly 120 professional orchestras across the country. Our concert venues around the UK attract many genres of artists. Recently we had the Inquistan artist Adele perform at the Royal Albert Hall before she had her vocal surgery. A fine performance.
"Our nation has actually started to really have more than just London as a great capital of finance and economics. Edinburgh, Dublin, Manchester, Birmingham...they're all starting to pick up their development thanks to the federal styled monarchy we have since your youth.
"This current Coalition of the Left look to be legalising marijuana as a result of the European laws. We want marijuana to be completely decriminalised before 2015 is up. It's a great move on our part, as we look to raise nearly 40 million pounds in tax revenue from the VAT on marijuana.
"As you probably are aware, HM The Queen Elizabeth II passed away, and before she did she took Charles, Prince of Wales out of the running. Now we have the youthful monarch, King William V and his Queen Consort Catherine. The two will be going on a visit soon, I'm sure.
"What about Albion on Sea? What's the climate like there?"
"Perhaps while I'm here I will go to a performance. We haven't had any music halls of our own opened in years. Albion is in a financial crisis really..we legalized marijuana as well, those profits are what funded my trip here actually. With the amount I bought I might as well have paid for it by myself!"He had a laugh and calmed back down.
"We would love if the King and Queen visited! We did however hear of the death of Elizabeth, we had a day of silence for her in the parliament. That land though..there are many climates. Inland it can be very hot and very cold, but generally the coasts are warm to cold, never getting too extreme. The large island is nice, it rains a few times a month but that's the extant of bad weather, mostly. Banff is getting really popular at the moment as well, we have opened up a year round ski resort. WE voted to create a new national park, but that will be a while due to lack of funds.
I mean maybe it is early to bring this up, but I'd love to see steep discounts on tours, travel and accommodations between our two countries, to encourage culture sharing, and naturally make some money."
"Surely, and that can be a part of your election platform. Just remember that I am not a representative of the Government. I'm just a reporter. You do have an audience with the King and Queen later at Buckingham Palace, and they will be delighted to have you and the Prime Minister discuss matters at Number 10 before you return to Albion on Sea.
"There is a concert tonight. The music of Peter Illyich Tchaikovsky. Are you a fan of Tchaikovsky's music?"
"It will be part of my platform, I'm hoping people at home are tuned in. Yes, I enjoy his works, I think I'd like to go to that. I want to promote the arts, but that isn't too popular with an economy like ours. Do you think there's anything the British public would like to know about me?"
Trudeau started to feel a bit cramped. "Can someone open some windows, or the sun roof?"
"Oh, certainly," Mr. Paxman said to Mr. Trudeau. "But we'll save that for the interview. We seem to have arrived."
They stepped out and found the ITN Studios nearby. They immediately sent Mr. Trudeau into hair and make-up for television, citing that he had a couple of hours before his big interview which would be broadcast around Britain.
Trudeau sat in the make up room. "Please, I need to look like myself, can I just get a nice bath or something? I'd like that make up girl to help me out though..in case I slip and fall or something of course..my luggage has the suit I'll wear later, can you guys just make sure it is ironed?"
He opened his luggage, grabbed a wine bottle, and hung his suit on a rack.
**Good evening, welcome to this special segment for ITN News. I'm Jeremy Paxman bringing you an interview with perhaps the most interesting candidate for Governor General in Albion-on-Sea. This person has traditionally been the Monarch's representative in the western nation for years, but the Governor General has evolved into both his representative and someone who is able to make his own political decisions. This is the first candidate to visit the United Kingdom, Justin Trudeau.
Mr. Trudeau is perhaps the most colourful of the candidates, famously being choked by someone while on the town. We have him here as an ITN exclusive. Welcome, Mr. Trudeau. Let's get started:
Do you think that the King would approve of your life in Albion and ultimately consent to having you be the Governor General of Albion-on-Sea?**
Yes, I have a few kids, and while I may not be married they are all close to me. I want to push a progressive style of life in my country, and in order to have progress you need a leader with strong values.
What makes you qualified for the job?
Well, I have been a senator for two terms now, and mayor of Banff for four years. I feel I have the know how to get things done, but have the luck to have such a chance to grow and learn.
Should a Governor General be one that gets choked by other people?
She wasn't wearing a ring! I had no way of knowing she was married. This moral issue is not on my end. She told me he was greedy anyways.
What about your dealings in your private life? Can you speak to us about your promiscuity?
My private life is just that, private. Provided I don't do anything harmful, I don't think that effects how I would run a country. I know all of my kids well and have healthy relationships, I may not be married but I am still a family man. I do enjoy marijuana, but that is legal now, unless you live somewhere horrible. Above all, I am not more promiscous as your average person, I just have more eyes on me. I'm your average human male, is it so wrong to want a few different people a month?
Do you have any traits that the other candidates for Governor General do not have that will make you an asset to His Majesty the King?
I have a connection with the people in Banff, who have a seperate idenity in their minds than people on the island. I feel this will be invaluable in getting things done. I do everything better than Feinstein though..hell, the people who live in Banff think Mulcair is a straight up communist. I think he has the eye on this spot as well, I expect he will announce himself soon.
You?ve been to the UK once when you were a child. Have you since been back to our country?
No, this is my first time back. I was very busy, I started out as an intern at the senate before running for small town offices. Eventually I became mayor, and I didn't have the funds to fly to the UK. Thankfully I repaired the economy enough to where this isn't an issue now. I would like to visit more often though for sure. *Trudeau says the last part while staring at a butt walking by
You?ve only been for a short time here in London. What would you like to do on your trip?
I'd like to hear some live music, tour a few museums, then head out to the midlands to go sight seeing. I think the London Symphony will be playing soon, so I'm sure I'll go to that.
What is your view on the current crises in Europe including the Teutonic State mess and the
constant intervention by our Eastern neighbour Davishire?
It is a mess, an utter horrid mess. I've been listening to news from Havvenskar and others, the civilian casulaties have been enourous. I wish Davishire would have stayed out personally, the same applies to the others. Nothing much changed besides good men dying for a cause they couldn't help. It truly depresses me..
Would you like Albion to become a great force in the west?
Actually..no. To me, the people seem content left to themselves, rather prefering diplomacy over guns and bombs. Plus we have all the land and food that we could need really.
What is your personal ambition for the office of Governor General? How will you use it to accomplish your goals?
I'd like to improve the economy first and foremost. We are in a desperate situation. Granted food is easy to get, but gasoline and many other things are difficult. I really want to cheapen the cost of goods so that service jobs return and people start to consume. For now we are okay due to abduntant fish and crops, along with timber, so I have a year or two to get the ball rolling. I will definately use this office to serve the people, and only them.
Are you looking to settle down, start a family any time soon?
I already have a family, but if you mean marriage no, I'm not. I'm not saying that if I found the one I wouldn't, but till then I'm flying free.
Be careful, there is a right answer: if you?re in a pub in London and you order a drink?what is your drink of choice?
English ale of course, served off the tap. Best ale in the world, I like a good Mild as well.
Who is your favourite Premier League team?
Funny thing, we don't actually get sports on the TV or radio in Albion. In fact most of us lack internet as well, besides essential services. I plan on fixing that should I ever find the funds. We have albion rules football though, and I like to watch the Bulldogs play.
Will you fit into the stuffy world of representing the Monarchy abroad if you are elected to be Governor General?
Stuffy? No. I won't stand out like a sore thumb, but I hope to liven things up a bit, you know?
Last question?do you support Ed Miliband and his Government in the UK?
Yes I do, I am happy to see his position with the Greens. Albion treasures the envrionment, so him supporting such groups and causes makes me happy.
**Please note that at the time of the interview, Davishire was in the middle of an operation in the Teutonic State. It has since made a statement that it will withdraw its forces.
Thank you for this snippet on ITN News. I'm Jeremy Paxman, goodnight.**
Trudeau woke up the next day and looked around. The dresser was covered in cocaine and panties, and four strange women were sleeping in various places, one of their legs was sticking out from under the bed. "Damn..must be the accent or something."
Trudeau opened the window and lit a joint, it felt like a wake and bake day. He was supposed to meet with the king today and needed to chill some. As he was in the bathroom he heard the closet door open, close, then heard footsteps running into the hallway. "Shitty paparazzi" he thought.
The Private Secretary of the Sovereign knew where Mr. Trudeau was staying in London. It was in the Victoria district at the Grange Rochester Hotel. It was a beautiful hotel, paid for personally by His Majesty as a compliment to the candidate. He knew whom he was dealing with, and as he reached the room where Mr. Trudeau was staying, a strong smell of marijuana began to fill the air.
'Well, at least this will be legal in two days so no one is enforcing that law,' the Private Secretary said. He simply knocked on the door twice before breaking it in.
"Good morning, Mr. Trudeau. I am the Private Secretary for His Majesty the King. I am responsible for the keeping of meetings with the Sovereign, including yours. I also will be the chief coordinator of the new Governor General and chief advisor to him for the Sovereign.
"His Majesty the King and the Queen Consort will be most excited to meet you, but please clean yourself up first."
"Oh..oh shit..I uh. ROB FORD WAS HERE LAST NIGHT HE PLANTED THE COCAINE NOW GET OUT I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE!"
Trudeau did a dolphin dive naked into the bathroom while yelling this.
He cleaned up in the bathroom for a bit before putting his suit on. "I don't know who these women are either, maybe Feinstein sent them to make me look bad. I am looking forward to seeing the King! Where will I meet him at? Can we get some coffee first?"
"You will be meeting His Majesty in Buckingham Palace. If you mention the Sovereign without using the appropriate title, His Majesty, we will have to question whether or not you are the right man for the job," the Private Secretary said.
"Coffee can be arranged. This IS London, after all. A full breakfast will be waiting for us at a restaurant near Victoria Station.
"Will this suit you, Mr. Trudeau?"
"It sure will. Can I call him HM or do I have to fully say His Royal Majesty? I really need to get in touch with the homeland you know..it is rather sad. A full breakfast sounds great after the night I had."
Trudeau took a headache pill while leaving.
"When addressing the Sovereign directly, you must say Your Majesty. His Majesty is the appropriate title when discussing the Sovereign in indirect terms."
The Private Secretary led Mr. Trudeau on a walk through Victoria. It was bustling, but not quite the same as the rest of London.
That was until they got near the station, when a cacophony of buses, taxis, lorries, the National Rail and the Underground met with tons of people looking to find the sights in this most tourist laden part of London, not far from the Palace of Westminster, Big Ben, The Mall and Buckingham Palace.
Still, they dove into a quiet restaurant and seemed to be the only two present. The Private Secretary watched as the staff brought Mr. Trudeau a full English breakfast while he simply had Lady Grey tea, no cream, two sugars. The Private Secretary was very particular about his tea.
"Do you have any questions about meeting His Majesty before we reach the palace, Mr. Trudeau?"
"Yeah, actually. By the way, waiter I want a tea like his. We should work out a trade agreement for tea, it costs a ton in Albion right now..but I have an idea I want to present to the king, and would like your opinion. Hey, staff, get the flag from the suitcase".
They pulled it out and presented it to the secretary.
"We would fly it under our regular flag permanently. I want to fly it to represent more active relations with the UK. Do you think the king would like it?".
"I think His Majesty would be most delighted to see such a wonderful tribute. It is a magnificent sight.
"I know the Prime Minister, who is on your list to meet later, will also find it quite charming. He's coming in to Number 10 just for you today from his constituent home in Doncaster North.
"Do you have any other questions for me regarding your two visits?"