Barehams' most excellent adventure

  • " Wake up Mrs. Bareham. You have a large day ahead of you."

    They were in a labor camp, in the middle of who knows where. They had moved her from Coswig after having a doctor make sure she was healthy after all the stress.

    "You will work three hours, get a 45 minute lunch break, and then work four more. Every hour a ten minute break is allowed. You will be repainting walls her as part of our project to rebuild war torn areas. You will not be kept here forever. However if any funny business is sent into this country..well things won't be as simple. Any questions?

    This camp had chainlink fencing but no barbed wire, it had a garden, a swimming pool, and fully furnished rooms. It was secured by many guards but much nicer than many college dorms. The rooms were on par with a decent hotel, having double beds, heating, carpet, a separate kitchen and bathroom with a jet spa.

  • Lucinda woke up slowly, she had a splitting headache and a very strange metallic taste in her mouth.

    She had no idea where she was. Opening her eyes she could see someone standing over her saying something about times, but in her mind it made little sense. She looked around and realised that she was lying on a bed of some sort with the man standing over her.

    She tried to prop herself on her elbow and sit up, but her head immediately swam and the walls of the room turned into a bright yellow colour. She passed out.

  • "Goddammit, women are so fragile. No wonder Lord Vele is so annoyed by them...get the doctor, have him bring light spirits and a painkiller for our guest here. If only it was so easy as to be sick when things needed done."

    The warden shrugged and walked away as the doctor ran up to help out.

    A few dozen squads of soldiers patrolled the nearby fields, doing drills and workouts.

  • Lucinda slowly came round again. Someone was handing her a glass of water, which she sipped.

    She was in a bare room with white walls, it was clean, almost clinical. The same man she'd seen before was standing by her bedside along with someone in a long white coat who was fiddling with a dark bottle.

    "Where am I?" she asked.

    She sat up and could see through a window at the foot of her bed a hill in the distance covered in pine trees. There was a mechanical sound coming from outside. The man had not answered her.

    Her wrists were sore and she looked down at them to see sore red weals. The same with her ankles, where her stockings had been snagged and laddered.

    "Who are you?" she demanded shouting and struggling to sit on the edge of the bed. "And what the hell have you done with my Louboutins?"

  • "The hell is Louboutin? I'm a doctor, and you seem okay to me. You are on vacation for a little while lets say. Rest assured no harm will come to you. I have a note to read as the warden didn't feel like saying it again. Basically you will be painting walls today. With plenty of breaks mind you, this isn't a slave camp. Just..think of this a hotel paid for by a little bit of work Mrs. Bareham. Do you have any dietary preferences? Lunch is 45 minutes and is nicely seated."

    He stood up and looked out at the busy people working to rebuild the village the camp was placed in.

  • Lucinda struggled to her feet and stood opposite the man swaying slightly. She was a tall woman almost 190 centimetres tall and she always wore shoes with a fifteen centimetre heel, which meant she generally towered over everyone she spoke to. But she stood here in her stockinged feet, and so was face to face with the man.

    "Louboutins!" she shouted at the man. "Louboutins! My shoes. Where are my shoes? They cost over 600 florins a pair."

    "And look at the state of my stockings," she was still shouting. "You've laddered them."

    She stretched out her right leg and pointed at her heel, where her stocking was torn and a huge ladder ran all the way up her leg, disappearing under the hem of her mini skirt at the top of her thigh. "These are Gios," she screamed getting steadily angrier. "Let's just hope I've got another pair in my bag." She looked around the room for her handbag. "Where the fucking hell is my handbag?"

    She stepped towards the man placed both her hands on his chest and pushed him back a step. She lowered her voice, "Get whoever is in charge here now. I want answers, not gibberish from a fuckwit retard."

  • "Fine, have it your way. I need to get back to my lab anyways, perhaps I will study the female brain to see if I can fix it."

    He opened the door and left. Not a minute later it opened again, and Eric Pickles was shoved inside by an armed guard.

    "I heard your conversation with the doctor. You and your new guest stay and chat a while, if you want to see the man in charge you better be ready. He will not be happy if he makes his way here. People who make him unhappy have a way of never being seen again."

    He left.

  • Eric Pickles was still suffering with the shock of capture, but was scared further by what was in front of him.

    "Councillor Bareham, what a, um pleasure"

    Sir Eric could remember the awkward feeling whenever he was near her in the council chamber. He felt ever uncomfortable about what Bareham would do to him, she had a near obsession with him...

  • "Jellybelly!" she immediately ran across to him and flung her arms around his neck hugging him to her.

    "It's so good to see you again, I thought I'd lost you," she was crying into his neck.

    Suddenly she stopped and stepped back to look at him quizzically.

    "But what are you doing here? Where are we? What's going on?"

  • Eric Pickles cringed and felt quite uneasy about Bareham running up to him, and he hoped that they weren't being recorded on camera. He didn't hug Bareham back, and walked over to the window, outside he could see a mountainous terrain and a forested area.

    "I don't know what they want with us, but I am sure we are about to find out"

  • Lucinda rubbed her temples.

    "My head is throbbing, I think they drugged me to get me here."

    She walked over to the window where Sir Eric was standing with his back to her. She put a hand on his shoulder and looked out through the window at what looked like a cross between a building site and a military base.

    "I've no idea where we are. The man who was here before said something about a painting. If they wanted to paint a portrait of us then they'd better provide me something more suitable to wear."

    She looked pointedly down at her blouse where the top button had been torn off and it gaped open, revealing her huge d?colletage and the black lace of her bra.

  • The door slammed open and the doctor returned. He was smirking. "Okay Mrs. Bareham, you will be reunited with your shoes after a final medical check. Get her."

    A few soldiers grabbed her and took her out to the doctors lab.

    "So you, Mr. Pickles. Are you comfortable? Need anything? Refreshment? Food? Smokes? We know you won't attempt to run away anyways haha!"

  • Sir Eric was quite shocked, "I would love a whisky, after any period of time with that woman you need a strong drink. hahaha one thing the council taught me."

    He sat down on the bed and stared up to the ceiling,

    "No, that is all for now. Thank you Doctor" Sir Eric said with a smile on his face.

  • "Okay, sounds good."He left. A few minutes later some soldiers carried in a bottle of vintage whisky and a bag of ice, with a few glasses. They left without saying anything.

    About an hour before dark the door opened and Mrs. Bareham was led in. In the doctors hands was a pair of burnt shoes. Expensive looking shoes. Beyond that there was another huge change- her eyebrows and head were shaved completely bald, and she was wearing cheap, oversized and food stained sweat clothes. The doctor had tears in his eyes from laughter.

    "You two have fun talking about her stylish new look now, I have stuff to do. Yeah that." As he left the room his cellphone rang. You could hear him through the door. "Oh yeah I'm down for some hockey! I made our captive here look like quite the hockey player by the way! Ohhh ho ho she was pissed when she woke up. ManI paid for drinks last time. No you can this time..You know what, whatever, fine, but you are drinking that shitty beer this time. Grass? Do I have grass? I'm a doctor, what do you think? Yeah later. He peeked in the window to see Pickles looking at him with confusion.

    The doctor open the door and threw the ruined shoes back in and ran away howling.

  • Mod

    "We are approaching drop point 5th Harmony, I repeat, we are approaching drop point 5th Harmony. The labour camp is in sight", squawked the pilot over the intercom.

    "Roger that", Commissioner Johnson huffed as she armoured herself with her bulletproof vest. It matched well with her camouflage uniform. She then put on her helmet, goggles and gas mask. Mama JJ then loaded her weapons, stocked up on explosive devices and then stood in a ready position. The tiny stealth aircraft didn't have much space, certainly not enough for Mama JJ and her caboose, but she had more things to worry about than being comfortable. "Pilot, what is the weather report?"

    "Low visibility and chill temperatures. Wind is blowing 2km/ an hour westward. Humidity is at 10%".

    "Good", Mama JJ responded. Mama JJ has never performed such secretive operations before, but she was certain she could rely on her 3 S's to keep her safe: her strength, her speed and her sass. She stood at full attention, standing at the edge of the airplane hatch with her parachute attached to her back.

    JennaMarelle received a loud message in hear earpiece which startled her.

    "Mother Bear, do you read me?"

    "HQ, this is Mother Bear" Mama JJ huffed, catching her breath after being startled so badly. "Ready for the drop."

    "Good. Remember, always keep open communication with us. We will guide you through this. You are not alone."

    "Roger that, HQ."

    "Just remember... be safe out there. We can't afford to lose you."

    "Will do-", Mama JJ began, before being interrupted by the pilot.

    "We are above the drop zone. Dropping in 3...2...1... drop!"

    Adrenaline completely took over Mama JJ as she jumped out of the plane. She couldn't see a thing.

    "Oh naw, oh naw, where am I gonna land", she said panicking. She remembered to active her night vision goggles. She couldn't see the ground too clearly below her, but managed to catch a good glimpse of something that seemed to be the target infrastructure. She continued to free fall for a minute or two before pulling the chord to her parachute. The parachute exploded from her back, lifting her up and then whisking her gently to the ground. She barrel-rolled the minute she hit the ground, in an attempt to reduce the impact. Plus she saw it on a movie once and decided that it would be cool. She landed at the bottom of a hill, and out of sight. Success.

    "Mother Bear is on the ground, I repeat Mother Bear is on the ground", she whispered into her earpiece.

    "HQ reads you Mother Bear. Do you see the camp?"

    "I saw it as I was comin' in. I think I landed 40 feet from the target checkpoint B. It should be just sittin' up on this hill."

    Mama JJ got on the ground and began crawling on her elbows and knees. "I should add a fourth 'S' to my skill set: stealth", she giggled with a grin on her face.

    "What is that Mother Bear?"

    "Oh nothing HQ, nothing."

    Mama JJ continued to crawl all the way up the hill. Once she reached the top of the hill, she could see everything before her. The labour camp was right there, all spread out. She remained lying there for minute, analyzing the camp before her eyes. A nearby building stood right in front of her to her left. She suddenly pounced up from her crawling position, and flew up against the wall of the nearby building.

    "It's go time."

    She walked sideways with her back pressed against the wall, scaling the side of the building to the door. She began to try and slowly open the door, but the doorknob wouldn't budge. It was locked. Good thing she learned a thing or two on the streets of Saint Dominico. She began to slowly pick the door open with one of her weave hairclips. The door easily opened. It was no match for her.

    She quickly shoved the door open and did a front roll on the ground. She looked around. Nothing. It was all clear. It seemed like she was in some sort of office space. The room was mostly filled with file cabinets and empty desks.

    "It's all clear HQ. Yo gurl is in the camp."

    "We read your Mother Bear. GPS tracker indicate you are in the admin wing. Keep going down and you will reach the medical labs".

    "Roger that HQ".

    Mama JJ crouched and she walked across the admin room. A large open door led the admin room to a long hallway. As Mama JJ crouched and walked towards the door, she noticed armed guards appearing at the end of the hallway.

    Mama JJ quickly stood up and forced her back against the wall and out of sight from the door frame. Just when she thought this was getting too easy.

    Courage quickly swept over Mama JJ as leaned out of the door and began open fire at the guards, shooting with two pistols at once. She instantly killed two of the guards, but the third managed to duck and get behind a large object. Mama JJ just then realised she had not yet attached silencers to her guns. She could hear the guard calling in and alerting the intrusion. "Oh shiiii-".

  • The guard yelled out to more in the area. "He threw a stun grenade then got on his radio. "Sir, it seems we are under attack by a highly trained enemy operative! Yes we will attempt live capture. He look up and found she was gone, the stun grenade having missed its mark.

    "Shit, sir she went off towards who knows where!" The guards scrambled towards the building Pickles and Bareham were in. If this spy was to have a chance she would have to go through the medical zone.

  • Mod

    "HQ, this is Mother Bear. I believe I may have alerted enemy lines of my presence", Mama JJ alerted back through her earpiece. She stood with her back pressed against the wall and out of the door frame. " HQ, do you read me?", she begged desperately. Mama JJ heard nothing but static noise from the earpiece. "Damn", she whispered as she realised that all communication had been jammed.

    As the stun grenade was thrown into the room, Mama JJ activated the blind setting on her goggles amd front hand-springed across the room in a sudden burst of acrobatics. Landing at the other side of the room, she returned her goggles to the notmal setting and noticed a ventilation grid on the ceiling above her head. She quickly removed the ventilation grate and made a vertical jump upwards. Her hands barely gripped unto the ventilation opening. She pulled herself up and into the ventilation shaft.

    Mama JJ began to crawl through the ventilation system on her hands and knees. This is how it must feel like to be Lucinda Bareham, she thought to herself. Mama JJ crawled forwards through the shaft noticing that the shaft became smaller and smaller as she crawled through. Before she knew it, Mama JJ was stuck. A woman of her size was not built for this kind of operation. Mama JJ tried to wiggle herself free but her sheer weight only managed to bring down the shaft, breaking the ceiling and sending Mama JJ from above to the ground. Like any other stealthy cat, Mama JJ somehow managed to always land on her feet. She dropped down unto the middle of what seemed to be a massive medical lab. But she was surrounded. Guards, who seemed to be waiting for her, had her completely encircled her and were aiming their guns at her. A brief moment of confusion and surprise started both the guards and Mama JJ. As they made sense of what had just happened, Mama JJ swung her arm in sideways motion as she pulled the trigger of the gun. She was going to curve the bullet.

    Everyone surrounding her drops dead, as a single bullet flies through their heads. Mama JJ didn't have enough time to be impressed with herself, as more guards stormed through the medical lab door across from her. Mama JJ bolted to a large clear glass window that stood a couple of feet behind her. She jumped into the air busted through the window in a dramatic slow motion sequence, before finally falling down and landing in a strange holding place. But a surprise was awaiting her at the bottom.

  • Lucinda was thrown back into the room. Sir Eric was lying on the single bed, drinking whisky.

    She stumbled into the room, glad to see a friendly face. She sat on the edge of the bed by Sir Eric's feet as there was no room for her to sit anywhere else. She noticed that Sir Eric had a hole in one of his socks through which his toe was poking.

    Sir Eric looked at her, but said nothing, just kept drinking his whisky. The "doctor" left the room and could be heard organising a night out drinking on his mobile phone.

    Lucinda wrapped her arms around herself and started to rock backwards and forwards, crying silently.

    When the guards had placed her arms behind her and lifted her from her feet, she had known that she had no means of fighting back. She had lost her shoes and so could not kick either soldier.

    They had marched her down the corridor and through a swinging double door into what looked like a large oval shaped operating theatre. It was brightly lit and in the centre was an operating table with a trolley next to the table. The doctor was standing at the table.

    "Bring her here and turn her around so that her back is to the table," the doctor barked. The soldiers marched her towards the doctor and table and on reaching executed a smart 180 degree turn. The doctor was now standing behind her. She felt something cold and metallic snap shut on each of her wrists, which were still sore from whatever had constrained her before.

    "You can put her down now," the doctor ordered and the soldiers lowered her to the ground and released her arms. As her arms fell to her sides there was a clanking of chains She immediately swung her right arm up to hit the soldier on her left. But before her arm had moved very ar towards the soldier, the chains clanked louder and she realised that she had been cuffed and chained. The chains pulled her arms out horizontally. She tried to turn, but each move pulled the chains tighter.

    The doctor ordered the soldiers to put Lucinda on the table and chain her ankles. The chains were tightened and she lay spread eagled on the operating table, her leather mini skirt had ridden up over her stocking tops, revealing the chrome clasps of her suspender belt. She could feel the soldiers eyeing up her long nylon clad legs.

    The doctor clicked his fingers and the soldiers left the room. He wheeled over an office chair and sat by her head. With the back of his hand he brushed a strand of her hair away from her face, as a mother or a lover might.

    "Is it safe?" he asked.

    "Is what safe?" she asked, frightened look in her eyes.

    "Don't ask questions, just give me an answer. Is it safe?"

    "I don't know what you mean," she answered nervously.

    The doctor shrugged his shoulders and got off his chair. He reached down and grabbing the lapels of her emerald green blouse and pulled them apart, causing the buttons to scatter across the room. "Tell me whether it is safe," he ordered. Lucinda did not know what he wanted and started to cry silently. He reached over to the trolley and took a large pair of scissors which he used to cut away the sleeves of her blouse and pulled it off her completely. Slowly but surely with the scissors he cut away every garment that she wore: her brassiere, the mini skirt, her suspender belt and her panties, before removing her laddered stockings.

    "Well?" he said. "Is it safe?"

    "Yes," Lucinda cried. "It's totally safe. I've no idea what, but it's totally safe."

    He laughed out loud. "You'll say anything to make me stop. You should have told me before. Now I don't believe you."

    With the scissors he started to cut her long blonde hair, till she had a tomboy crop. Then he produced a buzzing sheep shearing machine and ran it across her scalp until she was left with a very close skinhead haircut. He didn't say another word, but started to whistle through his teeth. He picked up a cut throat razor from the trolley and started to sharpen it against a leather strop.
    Then taking a shaving brush he coated her scalp in the foam.

    "Now stay still. We'd hate to have an accident now," he said quietly and began to give her scalp a really close shave. Once he had shaved her head, he repeated the process on her eyebrows and armpits and then removed the down on her arms. He then moved down the table and repeated the depilation of her genitals and legs.

    He stood back and admired his handiwork. "Not a single nick," he crowed. The only hairs left on her body were her eyelashes.

    He disappeared from her sight for a moment and she shivered.

    "Since you haven't confirmed whether it is safe or not, we shall have to question you further. Until then here are some clothes for you to wear so that you don't feel the cold."

    He released the chains and unlocked her cuffs before he passed her a paid of large sweat pants and shirt. Both were grimy and had stains of goodness know what. She hastily dressed, relieved that she was not about to be sexually assaulted.

    After she was returned to the room with Sir Eric, she sat on the bed unable to say anything.

  • Sir Eric didn't know what to say. It was almost sad to see someone, who was so proud of how she looks tortured by some Teutonic Weirdo.

    "Here, have some whisky my dear"

  • What Jenna was about to hear would likely change her forever. From the darkness she saw a dim light, the outline of a bed, and what seemed to be mirrors, but it wasn't too helpful for figuring out where she was. Then she heard a loud, clearly drunken voice. "OHHHHH JA! Now the doctor is in YOUR house! Ohh you will pay for those drinks!" She heard a whip crack and a voice yell. HA TAKE THAT, HAHAHA! Oh hey, you spilled my damn beer! Lick it up you swine!" It got silent. "Who the fuck is watching us?"

    Out of the darkness walked the doctor, naked besides an open trenchcoat and rubber gloved fist. His chest hair was damp and matted agaisnt his chest, and she smelled the alcohol from a good distance.

    "Who the fuck are you! Why do you interrupt! Wait..LARS DID YOU CALL A THIRD? Nein!." He turned back around.

    "Explain before I show you how I use my glove."

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