Vogue Rechroatia



  • Vogue Rechroatia

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    From the creators of the Matriarchy
    1st Edition, 5th of June 2015

    • Editor in chief:
      Katie Hopkins

    • Quote of the day:
      "That's how it works there!"
      Count Kairos Jeleniask

    • Featured model:
      Nicole Kidman
      "So naked but so overdressed."

    • Sponsors:
      American Apparel
      Legally responsible for Bareham's nylon leggings

    McGym
    Susan Callghan endorsed

    Dollyrockers AZ
    Home of Maleeka's perm

    Lianowar Markets
    We paid the most to be here!

    Burlesque sweeps Red Croatia

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    Photograph: Dita von Teese in her full glory

    Burlesque, which has been a part of Red Croatia's culture since it's origination, has once again proven itself to be a big, bulging business that brings a new twist to live entertainment, with the statistics showing that over 20 shows are being hosted per week in just Zadar, with around 4,500 attendants arriving to each. However, with Queen Aleksandra van Aries III choosing to endorse it and promise investing into it, burlesque is becoming bigger and bigger with each passing second as social media now once again begins discussing it, something that benefited stars such as the Rechroatian Dita von Teese and Halsbergian Christina Aguilera, who is famous for her Burlesque (2010) movie. Considering that burlesque is well spread throughout Red Croatia, with there even being a burgeoning market in Burlesque schools who often stress it's value as an 'art form' and online communities dedicated to sharing burlesque performances to the world, investing in it as a part of Rechroatian culture is something that is a great idea and something that will allow us to further ourselves within Europe, especially with the summer of 2015 approaching and all tourist destinations looking for new attractions.

    However, even though some of burlesque's content is perhaps deemed too sexual in some nations of Europe, most of it's performers don't seem to be bothered by this criticism, with Dita von Teese leaving a statement to those who oppose it: "What I do on stage is to reinforce the notion of feminine allure and the glorification of women's sexuality and femininity. It's incorrect to state that burlesque is purely sexual, because we're not here to bare it all. In fact, I find a greater liberation in holding on to our power by not giving everything away; keeping a little mystique that applies beyond sex itself."

    Blair von Schroeder on life after politics

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    Photograph: Blair von Schroeder attending a burlesque show with her 7th spouse

    Blair von Schroeder, a woman known for being the first European commissioner from Red Croatia - who served in both the Internal Affairs and Defense & Peacekeeping office -- has agreed to give an exclusive interview to Vogue Rechroatia in order to talk about how her life changed since her seventh marriage and her purchase of The Blue Oyster "salad" bar chain that she co-owns with her former colleauge, Susan Callaghan, while also leaving several comments on the current Rechroatian commission runner, the European Union and the state that Red Croatia is in since she left it's political scene while revealing that she's not planning on making a return after all the time she spent on it.

    "Life has been treating me well since I've retreated from politics, even though I don't have a lot of complaints about my career either, except that I perhaps should've left a bigger mark on Europe when I had the opportunity to do so. However, that doesn't matter, because since then I've become the proud owner of the Blue Oyster alongside Susan Callaghan, and business is doing great! Now, regarding the current state of the European Union, I don't believe that much hasn't changed despite all the recent conflicts that have taken place between it's nations. The commission is doing quite well and deserves a lot of praise, even if it's down one member and requires someone to fill the position, something that will happen soon in the side elections. And now that I've mentioned the side election, I might as well also mention how glad I am to see that Henry von Cavill is running, mainly because I've worked with him in the past and consider him to be a great politician, one of the best in Europe even. Though I wouldn't mind seeing that Os Corelian whose name I can't spell become Internal Affairs Commissioner either. He's sassy, and I like sassy people, if people don't know that!"



  • Vogue Rechroatia

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    From the creators of the Matriarchy
    2nd Edition, 6th of June 2015

    • Editor in chief:
      Katie Hopkins

    • Quote of the day:
      "What a stupid proposal!"
      Boris Johnson

    • Featured model:
      Rosie Huntington
      "Now I know how Blair got rich."

    • Sponsors:
      Lianowar Markes
      Give us attention, please

    L'Oreal
    Botox for the middle class!

    Augustus Barrington on Red Croatia

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    Photograph: Sight from Athemas' latest exhibition

    Considering the obsession with the human body present in Rechroatian culture since the dawn of our people, an exhibition in Athemas has decided to present to us how have our ideals have changed - just to have us realize how little we've evolved. This exhbition gathered works of art from numerous time periods, showing that our nation showed an interest in human centered art since the Hellenistic Era whereas these ideas have been brought into Europe through humanism that took place centuries later, further promoting Rechroatian culture while at the same time leading towards major criticism aimed at it.

    "Red Croatia is one of the wealthiest nations in the Europe, but it's cultural influences have left a major negative impact on our continent's citizens. Red Croatia is the only state that has special health programs for obese people, makes it hard to obtain unhealthy food, has political figures participating in fashion trends and has citizens who spend billions on products from L'Oreal, Nivea, Avon, Neutrogena, Pantene and other Rechroatian companies, leading to a statistic stating that an average citizen of Red Croatia spends 17% of his or her's income on appearance. Because of this, since Red Croatia has joined the European Union there has been an increasing trend of smoking, plastic surgeries and anorexia in all nations, including Inimicus." states Augustus Barrington - who went through a divorce with the Rechroatian model Rosie Huntington several months ago, losing much of his wealth during the process. "And what do we do about it? Instead of criticizing Red Croatia, we continue to promote it as the ideal tourist destination, with stereotypes pertaining the attractiveness of it's citizens even contributing to it's popularity. If we continue to allow this nation to push it's ideas, we're all going to be anorexic, chainsmoking skeletons."

    Augustus' criticsm has recieved a major response from citizens of Red Croatia, with his agressive statement leaving a stain on Inimicus' reputation in our nation even though the birth of Emperor Artabanos' children has been one of the latest topics across Europe. Red Croatia's citizens accused him of ignorance and lack of understanding when it comes to Rechroatian culture, but critics from other nations have more interesting and diverse opinions on this subject. Critics from nations like Marrakechia don't seem to care much about what Red Croatia does as long as it doesn't influence their own state, the United Kingdom is saddened due to this while Halsbergian critics seem to be fascinated by it, perhaps due to Halsberg being one of the most popular destinations for Red Croatia's bachelorettes.



  • Vogue Rechroatia

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    From the creators of the Matriarchy
    3rd Edition, 7th of June 2015

    • Editor in chief:
      Katie Hopkins

    • Quote of the day:
      "Who are you to disagree with Sir Pete Waterman?
      Who do you think wrote this country's Eurovoice entry?"
      Anonymous words of wisdom

    • Featured model:
      Kate Upton
      "Am I done already?"

    • Sponsors:
      XBOX Live
      Find out who your mother has slept with

    Pepsi
    When there's no coke

    FedEx
    It's broken!

    Investments in tourism for summer 2015

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    Photograph: Church of St. Blasius in Dubrovnik

    Queen Aleksandra van Aries III, the reigning monarch of Red Croatia, after making her intentions of promoting Rechroatian culture to the European Union known has published her budget for the summer of 2015. Considering that summer is the season where Red Croatia dominates tourism, it will be the most important target of these investments, with Aleksandra deciding to put an emphasis on mainland activities rather than the Rechroatian coast. She has fulfilled her promises of attempting to improve the situation for burlesque performers, artists and others, but she also decided to invest in a part of Red Croatia that hasn't been quite popular, with it being Rechroatian religion.

    "Red Croatia has a strong religious culture, with our pagan ancestors having left us with some interesting works of art depicting their gods while the reign of Queen Arianne the Holy has left us with significant religious figures such as Saint Maletta of Inquista. If we shed light on this part of our culture, I'm certain that the reaction will be positive and allow us to compete with Inquista and Vatican when it comes to faith tourism." Those were some of the words spoken by the monarch, who also decided to comment on the current economic situation of Red Croatia and tourism's role in it. "It's common knowledge that Red Croatia's economy turned upside down since we've joined the European Union and ended the so called Age of Isolation, with this allowing us to compete on the global market and over a year become one of the most successful economies in entire Europe. I believe that tourism is one of the most important branches in Red Croatia, and not only because of how lucrative it is, but because of how it shapes our culture. It allowed us to show more pride in what we have and also influenced our citizens into getting used to welcoming foreigners and those who have good intentions, even though we were taught otherwise during the lowest points of our nation."

    However, Aleksandra deciding to emphasize on Rechroatian religion as a tourist attraction has also lead to a controversial debate on the matter that has been swept under the rug and left there since Red Croatia's christianization, with it being female priests, something that contradicts one of the important rules of Roman Catholicism. The reason that there are priestesses in Red Croatia is because when Red Croatia converted from their pagan ways, most of their religious figures were female who upon converting didn't give up religious authority, and several have even achieved sainthood in the Catholic Church such as Alasia of Otok. This is a problem that hasn't been faced until now due to the Pope's lack of political grasp over Red Croatia, but is something that can be seen as a reason for Red Croatia splitting from Roman Catholicism.



  • Vogue Rechroatia

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    From the creators of the Matriarchy
    4th Edition, 20th of June 2015

    • Editor in chief:
      Katie Hopkins

    • Quote of the day:
      "Not even the Davishirian Intelligence Services know..."
      Said no one ever

    • Featured model:
      Nadia Ali-Sayed
      "First foreign woman in Vogue."

    • Sponsors:
      Corelian Moisturizer Co.
      Rubbed in your face since 2009

    Inimician Soap
    Use with extreme caution

    Rupaul's Drag Race
    Don't even bother getting it

    Lianowar Markets
    If we're not bankrupt yet, we're doing something right!

    Western Sahara celebrates it's first Independence Day

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    Photograph: Nadia Ali-Sayed holds a speech in Sahara's High Council

    The Dual Protectorate of the Sahwari Union, a nation under the wing of Red Croatia and Inquista, marks it's first year of independence and takes pride in the acomplishments it achieved after breaking from the Kingdom of Marrakechia. Despite becoming an indisputably independent nation after being recognized by all of the major powers in the European Union and Marrakechia, Sahara still has numerous challenges to face. Mainly due to Henry von Cavill's efforts, who is now the European Union's Internal Affairs Commissioner and one of the three people in charge of overlooking the Sahwari Union, the Dual Protectorate had no issues with adjusting to European law and even elected an European councillor on July 30th, but it still hasn't achieved full independence. "We're doing all we can in order to stabilize the Sahwari Union, but despite how much we've acomplished, there's still a lot of work to do before Red Croatia and Inquista can remove their presence there." notes Paul Craticus.

    According to the latest reports, Red Croatia is planning on creating an extensive investment program worth ₴1.083 trillion on the nation's coast, where the civilization is at it's peak, in order to improve the nation's economic situation and increase the standard of living for it's citizens. It was also made official that Red Croatia is going to refuse hosting Eurovoice XXV within it's own borders, after winning the contest in Halsberg with the talented Amy Winehouse, and will instead host it in Dakhla, one of the Sahwari Union's greatest cities and the one with most Rechroatian cultural influence out of any other establishment in Sahara. Queen Aleksandra also states that Red Croatia is planning on leaving a greater mark on Sahara and bringing in some of it's laws on the nation's coast, hoping that the nation's economy will further improve through oversea trade, despite it already having better statistics than nations like Icholasen, Davishire and Os Corelia.

    Considering the tight relationship that the Sahwari Union has with Red Croatia and Inquista, Eurovoice XXV is going to be hosted with the aid of three women, each from one of the three states. Red Croatia's Queen Latifa, Inquista's JennaMarelle Johnson and Sahara's Arabia Felix, with rumours having stated that Mama JJ is going to be paid the most until she confirmed that she refused payment and will do it for free. Other than that, it isn't known how much say will Sahara's Broadcasting Company have in the contest, but this is the first time that Eurovoice is going to be broadcasted in Sahara since the nation's independence, a contest that some have grown to despise to due how obsessed their former Marrakechian rulers were with it. Overall, this is the first time that the Dual Protectorate will have the chance present itself to the European Union, so all of it's citizens are hoping that it turns out well and are already purchasing tickets in advance as Red Croatia cashes in.

    Queen Aleksandra confirms official Europe's Most Powerful Woman award

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    Photograph: Statuette inspired by Rechroatian Goddess Nike

    Increased access for women to politics and the workforce has narrowed the European gender divide in the past few decades, similar to how men achieved equal rights in Red Croatia two centuries ago, but due to the popular request from European feminist movements and the lack of female rolemodels in the European Union, Queen Aleksandra has decided to agree to hosting an annual Woman of the Year award in Zadar. "There has been a decreasing number of strong women in mainstream politics, with even Rechroatian media focusing on following a male character, Henry von Cavill, since he won the Office of Internal Affairs with a 9-5-2 vote against Suzannah Beech and Kairos Jeleniask. And then we have patriarchal figures obtaining social prominence in nations like Inimicus, such as Emperor Artabanos and Augustus Barrington who is making a return to politics. I believe that women deserve more recognition, especially with nations like the Teutonic State joining the European Union, where women are seen as lesser." notes Aleksandra.

    The first award shall be handed out this december, with feminist movements hoping that this is going to encourage female political figures towards working harder to build up a better resume in hopes of winning the award. Susan Callaghan, Queen Anastasia, Nadia Ali-Sayed, Mikaela Kligenberg, JennaMarelle Johnson, Cynthia Johnson, Renata Kligenberg, Maleeka Liszckonszi and Helen Smith are seen as some of the most powerful female politicans in Europe since Red Croatia joined the European Union according to how popular they've become and are therefore seen as potential candidates to take the first Woman of the Year award, with it's prestige being highly elevated due to the involvement of the Rechroatian queen, who like all other women from Red Croatia isn't eligble to take the award in order to avoid bias. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tumblr and all other Rechroatian social media sites seem to have started predicting the winner, with there being no clear favorites.



  • Vogue Rechroatia

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    From the creators of the Matriarchy
    5th Edition, 21st of June 2015

    • Editor in chief:
      Katie Hopkins

    • Quote of the day:
      "We see all, we know all."
      Teutonic officials

    • Featured model:
      Kate Moss
      "Bow down bitches."

    • Sponsors:
      House of Gucci
      Chime for equality, chime for change

    Rupaul's Drag Race
    We're born naked and the rest is drag

    Lianowar Markets
    Feminism is almost as cool as purchasing our stuff!

    Queen Aleksandra against Lord Vele

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    Photograph: Chime For Change performance by Beyonce?

    Because of the Teutonic State's harsh treatment of women, seeing as their state views them as lesser to men, Red Croatia has decided to involve itself with its social structure and introduce feminism to the nation in hopes of achieving social justice for women and introducing fairness to the state. Nadia Ali-Sayed, the High Councillor of the once patriarchal Sahara comments on the Teutonic State's current situation: "Women represent half of the society, so including women in all fields is vital if we want to advance and create a better future for ourselves. Change however, isn't one person's cause, it has to be many people banding together, because even though a drop in the ocean won't make a difference, a wave can shake things up. That is why I'm hoping that the Teutonic State's citizens stand together and fight their nation's irrational government. We need to bring health, education and justice back into the Teutonic State, because without health you cannot survive, without education you cannot advance and without justice you cannot dream."

    Other notable feminists have decided to contribute to the discussion over social media, with the following quotes being from Twitter: "I am proud to be joining the growing international movement on behalf of girls and women around the world. I believe that by working together we can change the course of history and ensure that girls and women all around the world understand that they are just as good as any man." - Mikaela Kligenberg, Socialette from Inquista. "Despite being born in a nation where men were seen as the inferior gender, I have been taught about how different it was in other cultures and other nations. That is the reason behind me having so much passion for equal opportunities for both genders, and I refuse to let the Teutonic State's women remain oppressed. Despite how different our sexes are, we both deserve to have the same opportunities. Division based on gender is the greatest mistake a nation can make, because we can't move forward if half of us are held back." - Aleksandra van Aries III, Queen of Red Croatia. "This is the emergency and the opportunity of today. We have reached a significant moment in the history of girls and women's empowerment and now is the time to change. I think it is essential for girls and women to see and celebrate what is possible." - Tyra von Argentaria, Regent of Red Croatia. "If a man tells me his sex is stronger, send him my way." - Susan Callaghan, Halsbergian icon.

    It isn't known through what means did the Rechroatian queen reach out to the citizens of the Teutonic State, but there has been an organized protest in the Teutonic State's Aachen, where both men and women stood up against their totalitarian government, demanding more than just equal rights for men and women. Instead, the opposition demands the end of the military regime, the destruction of death camps and the end of foreign presences that take form in Halsberg, Inimicus and Davishire. The opposition is led by an anonymous female figure who is said to have a history in the Teutonic military, with the rumors stating that she is a veteran sniper, even though nothing is certain until the Teutonic State's government finds out or the queen of Red Croatia speaks up.



  • Vogue Rechroatia

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    From the creators of the Matriarchy
    6th Edition, 22nd of June 2015

    • Partners and associates:
      Armani, LVMH, Tod's, Fendi, Ferragamos,
      Ralph Lauren, Missoni, Prada, Wang, Chanel,
      Victoria's Secret, Versace, Kering, The Row

    • Editor in chief:
      Franca Sozzani
      Succeeded Katie Hopkins following her death

    • Quote of the day:
      "Life hurts a lot more than death."
      Franca Sozzani in honor of former editor

    • Featured model:
      Cate Blanchett
      Wearing 'Celine' suit

    Princess Amanda enters the European political scene

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    Photograph: Princess Amanda celebrates graduating Oxford University

    Amanda, the second-to-eldest sibling and heiress presumptive of Queen Aleksandra, upon finishing her education at the University of Oxford and obtaining her Master's Degree in Management & Business Law has been assigned to lead the new embassy program in Red Croatia, with the queen ordering all current workers in Rechroatian embassies constructed prior to 21st of June to abandon their workplaces. The young Rechroatian princess and philanthropist seems to have attracted a large amount of attention from the social media in Red Croatia and the United Kingdom, her current home, with her leadership over this important program being her first political action. "I lived in the United Kingdom for the last five years, and I have learned a lot of things about myself during the time I have spent there. It is quite hard to hear so much about your sister and what she has been up to all the time without having the chance to see her, but I believe that we're going to make up for the time that we have lost." states the princess about her relationship with Queen Aleksandra and her experience outside of Red Croatia.

    The new program for Rechroatian embassies promises to feature a more efficient and dedicated connection between Red Croatia and other states within the European Union, with the queen's decision being based on the fact that there is no point in wasting money on barely active political institutions that serve no efficient purpose. From now on, Red Croatia will only establish connections with it's allies and nations of significance, avoiding unnecessary spending and worthless political institutions. The only nations that Princess Amanda is planning on actively engaging at the moment are the Sahwari Union, Inquista, United Kingdom, Duxburian Union, Miraco and Icholasen as others fall in second place. She also stated that from now on, the role of ambassador is going to increase in significance and will require higher qualifications than before.

    However, due to the interest in the princess, considering that she hasn't been heard of for the last five years, we have made sure to find out about the happenings in her personal life. "I don't lead an interesting life, as I have been nothing but an average student here in the United Kingdom despite the titles I bear in Red Croatia. I have struggled with certain subjects, I have been through several rough relationships and I have attempted to keep myself as calm and collected as possible despite how stressful these last five years have been. However, I'm glad that this experience was as tough as it was, because otherwise I wouldn't have learned so much during it. I have built a good foundation for the rest of my professional life and have learned a lot of new things about myself. I don't think that I would've become as strong as I am now if I remained locked away in a castle."


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