The Campaign + Vote



  • (Glossary: MILF=Milk Is Liberty and Freedom (pro-dairy) DILF=Dairy Is Loathsome and Foul (anti-dairy))

    Icholasen was divided, who should we crown the winner of our referendum. The deer locked horns and were ready to fight. And the television was their domain. With 90% of the population saying they watch television regularly it was clear this is where they must have their fight. The first to strike was the DILF Party, against Milk, but showing they're okay with substitutes, and that they support the moral argument that "Milk is for baby cows".


    The MILF Party launched their first campaign video, clearly trying to appear to the younger audience with its "Sikk rhymes and beat, innit". The youth vote would be important in this referendum as people 16 plus would be able to vote.


    The Anti-Dairy lobby fired back, with a scare campaign, claiming that dairy is not good for you, by Dr. Ornish (who's also promoting his book "Whitewash".)


    Once again, the pro-Dairy lobby advocated for a song. Songs seem to have been a popular choice for the pro-Milk lobby. Mario Lopez commented that "They have to appeal to the less smart audience as anyone who votes for dairy legalisation isn't as smart as us, the DILFs."


    Sensing something about a boring and tedious advert wasn't striking a chord with their audiences, DILF hit the post 9 o'clock (in the evening) audiences with a raunchy and wild advert inside a "Dairy Brothel". "Find out just how far these girls with go—and show up thirsty!"


    MILF responded with ANOTHER song, this one in a high pitched voice with great backing track, and "tuneful notes". It also showed a warning what will happen if you drink it past the expiration date. A MILF spokesperson said "We've got to show the other side of the argument, we're not completely biased towards milk."




  • But, the most successful advert, was Deputy Prime Minister, and Leader of the MILF Party's Kelis, just repeated her chart topper on the MILF's ad spaces... over and over... Surveys say that 50% of Nicoleizians now know the entire lyrics of the song as it's on so much.



  • The Ballot Papers were released in 3 wonderful languages. And Nicoleizians everywhere took to the polling booths to cast their votes. Mario Lopez and Kelis were among the first to cast their ballots, as they posed for photo-shoots.






  • The first 9,000,000 out of 90,000,000 votes came into the head sorting office. It was completed votes from many different constituencies across the nation, however usually grouped together.












































  • The results are in. And, by a margin of 126,000 votes the "Yes" vote has won. This means Portland will be forced to illegalise dairy again. They have also illegalised ice cream. But, recognising the huge demand for some dairy products, the following are legal: chocolate and butter. The logic to this, is that chocolate is in such high supply in the nation already, and butter, which contains a very small amount of lactose, but is also used for many products that are useful. However this is their extent.

    There has been staunch criticism from the MILF Party at the result, they say the "No (with tight rules)" added to "No" is larger than the "Yes" vote. However, the DILF Party argues that they are fulfilling most of what the "No (with tight rules)" vote wanted, which is some legalised dairy products. And if they wanted it legalised, then they should've voted "No". "It's like voting for the Liberal Democratic Socialists and getting annoyed when the Party of June gets in, when the Socialists have a better chance of success."

    As promised, the DILF and MILF Parties will dissolve, and their seats in both houses are up for grabs. The Party of June and the LDS and the Socialists hope to capitalise on this. The LDS and Socialists hope to continue the DILF trend of appealing to Nicoleizian voters, instead of the Party of June's approach of appealing to the English speakers. The MILF and DILF Parties will still exist in regional elections, due to the DILF Party's legitimacy in the South Regina election.




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