Retribution Where Retribution is Due




  • THE MINISTRY OF EUROVOICE: 22/07/2016

    Doc Mustard was in his office in the Ministry of EV when Paloma Faith burst in. "It's time for you to die, Doctor Mustard. You shall be burnt at the stake... You've betrayed us all for the last time."

    "I go proudly to the flame" Doc replied, sombrely. "Go ahead."

    Doc was tied up, and dragged out of the ministry in a black car with tinted windows. The driver seemed faceless.

    Paloma, Tyler Joseph, Mary Lambert, Taylor Swift, Jesy Nelson, Perrie Edwards and the members from 21 Pilots walked through a desolate landscape in the Desert of the Sahwari Union.

    "You don't think they're actually going to burn him, do you?" Taylor asked Mary.

    "You don't mess with the supreme." Mary Lambert replied.

    The group came upon a large wooden stake, raised above the level of the ground with the same gravel that surrounded the desert landscape. The two members of 21 Pilots held large cans of gasoline.

    Doc walked calmly up onto the stake, and was tied up by the two members of 21 pilots violently, clearly causing the disgraced "musician" pain. Then, they started pouring the hydrocarbon over him.

    "Get up on the stack, Doc." Paloma said, almost intimately, holding a lit doobie. "Any last words?"

    "You can take my life - but you'll never take my quality songs, available on iTunes." Doc spat. Paloma flicked the joint towards Doc, the gasoline caught fire and went up in a huge fireball. Doc stood no chance.

    Everyone looked on in horror. Except Paloma Faith, however. Taylor saw her own future in the orange flames of Doc. It had happened before, she reminded herself. She was next in line as the Ministry of EV's scapegoat.

    "Well - anyone for s'mores?" Paloma asked chirpily.