The Nicoleizian Election: 2017
Rundown of Parties and Leaders.
The Party of June (PoJ): Eilidh Whiteford
The Party of June is a highly centrist party, and they have been described as ‘chameleon politicians’ the big gun of the PoJ, Eilidh Whiteford is running this time for Royal Premier. Though the nation of Icholasen is generally in favour of membership to the European Union, a large proportion want the nation to be stronger in the face of the ‘United States of Europe’ as some fear. Remarkably, Whiteford can appeal to both, as she both completed a turn as European Premier, and worked to reform the Union, but also she also resigned as Premier after being elected with a large percentage of the vote. These two show how on the issue of Europe, Whiteford can appeal to both. Whiteford, as part of a centrist agenda, has set up 4 things she would protect. Thus implying the rest will be cut immensely. She will protect; healthcare, education, military and welfare. Therefore showing that she is neither pro-market, nor pro-’equality’. On defense, as shown before she is rather hardline, she would keep Icholasen’s nuclear deterrent, and would protect funding for the military, as mentioned before.
National Awakening Party (NAP): Lord Basil McDonnaugh of Castleford
After a leadership shuffle, Lord Basil McDonnaugh of Castleford successfully ran a campaign to become the leader of the NAP. This very pro-market, very Eurosceptic, and also not entirely socially liberal, wants to uphold Nicoleizian values. In economics, they would cut the budget massively, with little remorse. However, Lord Basil McDonnaugh of Castleford has said that ‘Although we are not a party for the rich, we are a party funded by the rich. Maketh of that what ye will’. On defense, they are very hardline, and argue for increased military spending, and they also advocate for leaving the European Union. Furthermore, they are known to have fundamentalist Protestant values, abiding wholly with the Church of Regina & Portland’s ideas of Christian theory. Former leader, the Lady Campbell had to step down due to some minor health concerns, however she is likely to appear in the Cabinet of any future NAP candidacy.
Socialist Party: Morhaul Girlauchuz
Governor of Nuwnociluosoaulaunk has become leader of the Socialist Party after a fierce, and brutal leadership campaign. Hurls of abuse was thrown by each side, and thus the Socialists feel neither united, nor ready for a general election. Their policies are largely socialist, and ascribe to the notion of ‘International Revolution’ rather than Socialism in one country, and thus, as governor, there were some minor wars of words with the National Military, and the Dominion’s Provincial Guard forces. However, these were resolved when Girlauchuz realised his tiny Dominion was no match for every other Dominion against him. In regards to economic policy, they have pledged to nationalise many things, such as television, the internet, planes, and car manufacturing. This is highly controversial, as the economic progress seen under the PoJ, and to an extent under the LDS in the last Parliament was caused by the de-nationalisation of many things. In terms of defense and the European Union, they are against nuclear weapons, and are against the concept of any EU financial institution.
The Liberal Democratic Socialists: Sasha Yeoman
After the death of Hulun Schmocks (may she rest in peace), the LDS party chose the Governor of South Regina to take control of the Party, as she was their leader in the upper house (made up of each Governor of each Dominion). Economically, they are largely similar to the PoJ as they advocate for a centrist approach to government. This rebranding of their party, to distinguish themselves from the Socialists, whom they shared a coalition with from 2010-2015, was largely successful in the 2016 election. They will, however, have to differentiate themselves from Mrs Whiteford’s PoJ this time around. And they propose to do this by not supporting nuclear weapons this time around. This party would also be seen as a Europhilic party, and under their lead, both before and after the PoJ’s term, they did not seem to challenge the EU on any action.
The Portland Nationalist Party (PNP): Kelis
Kelis, having fought and lost the Dairy Referendum, now is a keen advocate of Portland’s independence, scoring one governorship, out of the two Portland Dominions, along with some seats from the percentage of proportional seats in Portland City she had indeed done the best in Portland. A giant on the Nicoleizian stage, no doubt she will obtain the same results as she obtained previously, and many think that due to the infighting within the Socialist Party, she will be able to overturn the Socialist majority in Portland City itself. It is not fair to say that the PNP are a single issue independence party, in fact, they have some very interesting proposals for Portland as a whole. They want less nationalisation, and less public spending, which is entirely different to the Socialist message. Could this harm their chances in Portland?
Parti Nationaliste Romanique: NOT RUNNING.
This Party is not running out of respect to Hulun Schmocks, who was killed by a nationalist from Romain.
(OOC: feel free to tweet/post reactions in this thread, or in the tweet thread!)
How the system works, and where we are now:
Each Dominion get a proportional amount of seats to how many people live there, and is converted into the amount of senators they are allowed to give. The Party that wins overall takes 80% of the senators from that Dominion, along with the Governorship. The 20% is done totally by proportional representation, but has been criticised for giving the party who won 80% of the seats, even more seats.
At the moment, the LDS have the most seats, though not enough to secure a majority. Smaller parties that did not claim a governorship like the PNR have some seats due to the amount of the popular vote they managed to achieve. Thus, we will see this map change colours at least in a few Dominionships.
10 Downing Street
London SW1A 2AA
18 June 2017
"We, of course, having finished our own elections on this side of the Nicolezian Sea are pleased to see our Nicolezian counterparts take part in a general election. We will hope that whomever governs the Nine Royal Dominions of Icholasen will work with us to continue the strong and stable economic growth that has seen both of our countries prosper and thrive through goodwill and friendship," Prime Minister Theresa May said to the press corps inside of Downing Street. Once they left, she turned to the International Trade Secretary, whom she was having a conversation with before the press heard that Icholasen was going to the polls.
"Come on, you should throw your hat behind one of the candidates," Priti said to Theresa. Theresa turned and looked at her shocked, before getting up and pouring herself a cup of tea. "Being neutral isn't going to help UK interests. You want a strong, centre-right government in Icholasen to go with the strong, centre-right government in the United Kingdom. It could be the start of a new consensus across Europe..."
"Shut it; I've already decided that I'm not endorsing anyone. That's not right; would you have appreciated it if Edward Firoux or Sam Courtenay came in and endorsed Keir Starmer for Prime Minister of the United Kingdom?" Theresa said, both acerbically and in a smooth voice. "You were here to discuss international trade, which is your portfolio. It is up to me and the 1922 Committee to set the political agenda of the party, and for my Cabinet Secretary to deliver it to the public. If I even catch so much as a whiff of you trying to get involved with this election, you are out of the Cabinet and up for a marginal seat next election. Do I make myself clear?"
There was silence.
"Theresa.." Priti began.
"Do I make myself clear, Priti!" Theresa said, rounding on her Secretary. "It is not for another nation to meddle in the affairs of another in official capacity. Don't you dare."
Priti at first pouted and growled like a petulant child who didn't want to be told she needed to go to bed. Eventually she sat down, cuppa in hand.
"Thank you; I just won the party a majority in this election, and five more years in government. Do not test the limits of my patience with you and the right wingers. You will be out of the Cabinet; I know exactly what you and Sajid were plotting on doing if the election was close and I find that kind of behaviour treasonous," Theresa snapped.
Priti said nothing. She simply sipped the strong brew. She choked it back up a bit 'No cream or sugar,' she thought.
"Theresa, I'm sorry; we didn't..."
"Cheer on the NAP or whomever it is you want in private," Theresa replied. Her face was very stern and the weight of the power she carried now that she delivered a majority was great. Priti soon understood that even with the 20 MPs that she could muster in the right wing of the party, a full-on rebellion on issues was out of the question. It was either toe the party line and obey the PM and the Whip, or be rendered politically irrelevant.
"Yes, ma'am," Priti responded, much more subdued than before.
"Now, we were talking about our tech exports in Miraco and Derecta. Now, what I've heard from the industry...." Theresa began.
'Glad that's over,' Theresa thought. She didn't like cracking the whip, but she understood that she had to ensure that it was cabinet government...within reason.
"Yes, that's right; my consultation with them is on Monday, and I think that..." Priti added. The two got lost in the details of the portfolio as they prepared for the NESTO talks and the King's Speech.
Derecta last edited by
Dikaíoma, 19th of June 2017
"Alfredo, have you heard about the Nicoleizan elections? We really should be looking at developing our relations with them, and they will determine who we will have to deal with." said Prime Minister Leandros.
"Yes, Prime Minister. It seems that most of the parties running for government are centrist, but there are some nuances. I have heard the PNP is a nationalist party, but that they are quite liberal. The LDS is quite pro-Europe, I think we would get along with them quite well. But the Party of June looks like the best option. I have always thought that moderation is the best, being myself at the centre of my party." said Minister Valero.
"Yeah, I too think they should at least get a good share of the votes. But I won't endorse them. I have heard that some right-wingers of your party have been complaining about my work, and the situation is hard enough as it is. I hate I can't have the Parliament at bay, but that's the way it is." said Violet.
"So, if asked, you'll follow the British PM's lead?" asked Alfredo.
"Yes. I think it's the wisest decision. Anyway, be ready for tomorrow, the NESTO talks will be long...." said Violet, with an ironic tone.
The Prime Minister was going to remain neutral during the Nicoleizan elections. She had already endorsed Theresa May, and had been criticised by some DPA Senators. Her term in office wasn't going to be an easy one...
Sasha Yeoman (inebriated): You know? The Nicoleizian people are the MOST gullible in the entire world. No other way would the SDP be able to gain four out of nine Dominions... The Romanique voted for us in their droves. As IF we would help them anyway. There's a reason that they're not as rich as Regina for Christ's sake. They're all LAZY. Honestly. Regina is pretty awful too though, I can't believe we picked up South Regina and Saint Regina!! All morons anyway. How gullible can people be?? Honestly. This election should be a cakewalk. We'll pick up the same amount of seats or more I suspect, the youth certainly will not turn out, and the middle class love us. Big Onion isn't on our side, though but who cares?? Whiteford is their PUPPET!!
June 19, 2017
Firoux speaks to students at the Saint Novella Academy of Science
Edward Firoux was making his way across Icholasen, spending his week vehemently campaigning for Eilidh Whiteford and the Party of June. Firoux and Eilidh Whiteford very close friends and had a long history of working side-by-side in Europolis. Firoux had campaigned for Whiteford multiple times, and had even chaired one of her Commission campaigns himself. As a Councillor, Firoux found it his duty to support other pro-Europeans across Europe, as he wanted the European Council to work very cooperatively with the heads of states. Although, admittedly, Firoux also enjoyed campaigning in Icholasen because he knew it would drive Craticus mad. Craticus, of course, remained strictly neutral in the matter, and hated that an Inquistan official was getting involved.
Firoux started his tour by speaking at the Saint Novella Academy of Science, where he addressed a crowded body students. Firoux spoke of the important strides in which the European Union was mas making in terms of education. Firoux also spoke on Eilidh Whiteford's strengths and leadership qualities, highlighting that she was successful in making reforms to the European Union. Firoux stressed that the students have the chance to one day be the next leaders of Europe, and that Party of June is the only party willing to keep this chance possible.
Firoux spent the rest of the day canvassing in Saint Novella and calling-in on a few radio shows.
Firoux is scheduled to make further university appearances, including the Rosa Luxembourg's Academy of Political Science in Nuwnociluosoaulaunk and the Anastasia University Hospital, Saint Regina. Firoux has also confirmed he will be making a Nicoleizian television appearance on Friday. More surprisingly; however, Firoux willl not be making a personal appearance with Eilidh Whiteford himself. "Yeah, Gisela won't let me", Firoux told a local Saint Novella radio station. "She said if she saw me with Eilidh I won't have a bed to sleep in once I get back in Europolis."
Polls and Analysis by Stephanie DeVey
- Political Correspondent for the NBC
Hello, I'm Stephanie DeVey, and welcome to my poll reaction. It is clear to see that Ms Yeoman's comments today did not help her party at all in today's polls. It is clear that she was riding high, though that is likely to here incredibly moderate predecessor who managed to cross the party divide to pass legislation. Ms. Schmocks was also incredibly patriotic, and this legacy carried the relatively unknown Sasha Yeoman's popularity. However, now it is clear that those polled seem to see Ms. Whiteford as her rightful successor. However, it cannot be stressed enough that these are knee-jerk poll reactions to Ms. Yeoman's... 'statements' in the 'press' earlier, and one must therefore take that into consideration. However, it appears that this has the potential to become a two-horse race, however unlikely, and unheard of that is in Nicoleizian politics.
A Speech by Sasha Yeoman in Saint Regina:
Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I have gathered the true, working people of Icholasen here today to show that I am a fully capable Royal Premier, and to lay out my economic plan for this election. I am not like some other candidates who get drunk, and bad-mouth parts of this beautiful natio--
HECKLER: THAT WAS YOU!!
Was it? I well and truly forgot... (she glances at a news screen, at the back of the conference hall) S*&t... F&$&k.... ABSOLUTE B&£*$&*£KS!!! I can't believe someone leaked that!! What absolute filth!! What slander!!
(Screen cuts out to a party political broadcast by the LDS)
Hello. I'm Sasha Yeoman. Are you tired of politicians being totally out of control? Being absolutely crazy on TV, just for the attention? Well I promise you right here that I will not be like that. We have to safeguard our moral values. People think it's perfectly okay to swear in the middle of the day!! Think of the children while you're voting for the SDP.
SDV: Hello, I'm Stephanie DeVey, and I am doing some poll analysis today on the NBC. This new chart for today indicates how the country has reacted to Sasha Yeoman's reckless actions. It appears as though the nation is either going to see Eilidh Whiteford or Lord Basil McDonnaugh of Castleford as its Royal Premier. To some, however, that might seem like a shocking though. I sat down and talked with LDS voter, and my former boyfriend, Josh McIlroy.
JM: It's great to be without you... I mean with you Stephanie.
SDV: So, how does it feel supporting someone well after they have crossed the line? I mean... I know a lot about that, I'm not sure if you do?
JM: Well it's very difficult to support someone with an alcohol problem, I admit. However I think I can make it work.
SDV: Very interesting to see what voters think. What makes all other parties so unappealing? I've heard you don't mind going to other parties, and seeing what other political leaders have to say... I've heard you've even read other parties' manifestos....
JM: Honestly, I think it's important to experiment with one's political beliefs, especially at a young age.
SDV: Do you really? I think loyalty is a quality, often lost on people.
JM: Loyalty is a two way street of course, Stephanie. The PoJ, and the NAP don't seem to be awfully loyal.
SDV: Well, let's thank Josh McIlroy for that very... insightful... political commentary. From Saint Regina, goodbye.
JM: Why did you embarrass me on public television like that?
SDV: I think you embarrassed yourself, matey.
JM: I'm serious, Stephanie.
SDV: Why don't you choke on a cheese string you d-
Camera Man: Madame DeVey you're still on air....
SDV: Sorry my lovely viewers, for more professional and insightful political discourse, please tune into 'Stephanie DeVey's Time for Questions tomorrow night. Each candidate will go up against a live studio audience, right here in Saint Regina...
All Parties' Reactions to the Eurovoice Result:
Eilidh Whiteford (PoJ):
I think it's great for the country!! I absolutely adore Isleym. The Ministry for Eurovoice will be protected under my government.
Lord Basil McDonnaugh of Castleford (NAP):
Squire, pray tell what is the Eurovoice of which you speaketh? I hath never heard of such modernity in minest entire years! I hath liveth in a cave, one assumes!! Though one wishes that the young madam does well in all to cometh. I hope she considereth a career in the NAP.
As a singer, I know what it's like to be up on a big stage. Isleym is very brave for standing up for what she believes in. Perhaps you should stand up for what you believe in, a stronger Portland!!
Morhaul Girluchuz (Socialists):
If I was elected 'Royal' Premier, after chopping of Anastasia's head and putting it on a spear, I would then invest around 10 billion Nicoleizian Shillings into the Ministry of Eurovoice. Both to hold the new games, and also to finance and scout new talent. ARISE SINGERS, YE HAVE ONLY YOUR MILLION DOLLAR ADVERTISING CONTRACTS TO LOSE!!
Sasha Yeoman (LDS):
You know? I never did like Eurovoice. It's boring, it drags on, and Peter Montford (though devilishly attractive) is very bad at his job.
Campaign Appearance in the North Regina Village of Aldwyn by Lord Basil McDonnaugh of Castleford.
Reginals... I calleth to ye to vote for me. You must know that 'tis the right choice for ye, and your country. One must only look around, with one's monocles to see the impairment that years of over spending have doneth. One merely should look at one's hospitals... They are filled to the brim with disease ridden people.I want to returneth to a time where odious people, whom have acquired (nay asked for!!) illnesses were send to leper colonies!! One must only take one further glance into one's schools. Children are learning about disgraceful, and unnatural things! They learn abhorrent facts... that Socialism 'works' and that Jesus wasn't even a real man, whom walked across this earth of azure and emerald 600 years ago. This act of cruelty upon our infantile bairns must stopeth, and stopeth now!!I hopeth now, that ye all haveth an augmented understanding of how the act of one spending money, directly harms our fledgling youths. Of course, that brings one onto one's next point, that one has prepared precedentedly - we need to prevent youths from loitering, and soiling our nation's landscape. How entitled must one be to demand that one gets oneself a house? Or a flat? This impertinence by the youths of this conglomeration of Dominions has not been unnoticed by the NAP. We will install buzzers, that only the youths can hear, to stop them 'hanging out' in places where the gentry may be residing. We will work tirelessly, without ceasing to make sure no youth manageth to acquire a property. How else can one expect the old to be contented?! Thank ye for attendingeth this speech here in North Regina.
(Half the audience of older men and women stood up, a large amount, grabbed their hip with great melodramatic pain actions, and sat back down. Some of the stronger older people managed to remain standing however.)
Poll Discussion with Socialist Senator, Oliver Van Houten:
SDV: Would you agree your campaign has lost momentum?
RVH: No of course not, the campaign is just getting started, Stephanie.
SDV: Are you sure? It is clear that the two major parties have eclipsed the others, people are joining one side, or the other. Why shouldn't your voters in Portland vote for someone else, with a higher chance of representing what they believe than you?
RVH: I vehemently disagree that the Socialist party is unelectable. Other than the LDS we were the only party to secure more than one Dominion as ours.
SDV: Do you not recognise, from this poll, averaged out over all the credible ones, that politics in this country has changed?
RVH: Change?? I'm a socialist. I'm all for change!
SDV: Your policies don't seem to scream that though. The socialist policies have arguable destroyed the Nicoleizian economy. We are only just seeing a peeping head of a functioning economy. How can you say your policies are for change if they are just going back to the established order?
RVH: Well... umm... look at our new creche policy, we would guarantee that working mothers get full creche support, so they can work in mines etc and have kids too.
SDV: How effective would that be do you think?
RVH: Very. The peat mining industry needs many more talented miners. The peat industry is short of over 5000 jobs, surely someone must take that place. So, do we send baby-age mothers down into the caves, or babies. The Socialist Party believes it should be babies. Wait, I mean women.
SDV: Well thank you very much Senator. Have a good day campaigning.
RVH: Thank you Madame DeVey.
Poll results mapped, and 'Swing Dominions'
This polling indicates that 64% of all Dominion Senators are now up for grabs from the NAP and the PoJ. The remarkable result is the huge declining in people supporting the LDS and the Socialists in Saint Pierre, a very traditionally left-winged city, it is now showing it has different colours. Nicoleizian nationalism, and the sense of coming together after the Eurovoice win, and the shooting of Hulun Schmocks is also contributing to the seat of Portland being declared as swing between the PoJ and the PNP. Kelis might lost her Governorship, though it is early days. Further, as a native of Portland, Whiteford has a much better chance of securing it. People have long seen her face as a positive representation of Portland.
The TV Show that aims to bring your voices to the politicians.
JS: Hello, I'm Jonathan Smith and welcome to Questions: Answered. With me tonight is the lady who is at the top of the polls. Please welcome Eilidh Whiteford...
EW: Hello, it's lovely to meet you all.
JS: Right, let's start with a question from Peter Salamander.
PS: Ms Whiteford, would you say that John Prescott's ineptitude, or the PoJ's general unpopularity lost the election last year?
EW: I think it definitely was more the swing to the LDS due to Hulun Schmocks ran a beautiful campaign that highlighted the beauty of our nation, and the benefits of us staying united. An ally of the Party of June, Hulun managed to bridge the gap between us all and managed to govern.
JS: Right, would you say that John Prescott failed by only winning one Dominion.
EW: No I wouldn't, the PoJ managed to win a huge share of the vote across the nation, nearly winning a few Dominions but falling short. I think Mr. Prescott did a great job, and it is a shame he has now retired.
JS: Now onto something else. A question from that lady in the back with the glasses.
TLITBWTG: Do you agree that our nuclear deterrent does not work, and should be abolished?
EW: No because it makes us safer. As we live in a historically unstable region, our island nation has only survived by being... an island. We thrive on this island of plenitude. Our peat is the most plentiful in the world. In the modern age, however, we need to be more vigilant. However, unlike the NAP I would never use the deterrent in a first strike, I would never risk the lives of our people and the lives of the people in the whole planet. They are a deterrent, to stop countries attacking us, rather than to be used to attack other countries.
JS: Now onto something along foreign affairs lines again, this time from Marisol Peckham-Hughes, a Briton living in St. Regina
MPH: What will you do to encourage greater relations between London and St. Regina and how will Icholasen benefit?
EW: I of course believe we should foster great relations with our one (and only) neighbour, and as Royal Premier I will of course extend my hand to London, and I believe our relations have been very sound for a long time. Through the EU, our relations with everyone are strong, however the NAP wants to ruin our relations with the EU completely.
JS: The question was about the United Kingdom, Ms. Whiteford. Now, onto another question from Cecilia Uxley.
CU: With your husband owning the largest company in Icholasen, 'Onion Sachs', is your capability to lead a viable, non-corrupted government tainted?
EW: Of course not. The anti-business rally has been a huge voice in Nicoleizian politics for a long time, however, I think this witch hunt against people who make a living for themselves is over. Under my government, business laws will be freer, and we will also help smaller businesses fighting against monopolies in order to make the market fairer. The NAP will cut taxes for monopolies, and also not regulate them as strongly. People also seem to forget I can disagree with my husband, I do not own Onion Sachs either. Marriage is not always perfect.
JS: Now, we're moving onto the tax system. We're going now to Thomas Gradgrind, a school master from the north of the country.
TG: Can you name one tax your 'tax phobic' government would repeal?
EW: Under the party of June, I'd work to lower sales tax, as I think at 20% brought in by the LDS is much too high for us. I believe sales tax only serves to benefit the richest in our society, and not the very poorest. Conversely, the NAP will lower the taxes the rich have to pay immensely, because Lord Basic McConnaugh of Castleford is a Lord. Therefore he will protect people of his class more than you and me.
JS: Right, one more question, from a Ms Getrude Gunningsworth.
GG: How do we combat the re-emerging threat of Francophone nationalism?
EW: In this country, we have many different languages but one common goal. We want to make ourselves united. Nothing good comes from violence or division. We know that all too well. As someone who lived on the Communist side of the country during and after the Civil Wars, I know very well how division and violence can hurt us. My poor, failing, onion farm drove me to do something to start change. I believe the LDS, the NAP and the other parties are all failing onion farms, and the PoJ will be the vital manure the country so desperately needs.
JS: Thank you Mrs Whiteford.
EW: Good night to the audience, thank you for your questions.
A Tale of Two Campaigns?
(Above, map showing where geographically the candidates have campaigned.)
The Whiteford Campaign, and the Castleford campaign, geographically are hugely different. Whiteford certainly does prefer the cities, where she largely gets a lot more support. Conversely, in the countryside, Castleford gets a lot more support. Why? Let's explore. Castleford appeals to a much wealthier, and a much older demographic. In Romain in the south, we can see he campaigns in the Romain Dominion, and not the Saint Romain urban Dominion. Thus, it is clear to see that he enjoys much more support out there that he urgently needs to cash in on. Rural Romain is very famous for being very conservative and catholic. Many protestant Monarchs of the island have tried and failed to suppress this feeling of catholic pride, thus the Romanique detest control from Saint Regina. Castleford very much represents loose government, where people can do what they like. Whereas Whiteford's politics are more centrist, in terms of power. She believes the Saint Regina government is very important and will defend it vehemently. This is why Whiteford does so well. The mix of champagne socialists with people who believe there should be real centrist economic policies, neither too socialist nor too austerity-based. Overall, Whiteford and her opponent have capitalised on the differences between urban and rural in order to gain votes.
Wealth and Politics?
This map indicates that the wealthier seats don't even have a particular political leaning. Rich cities, lean to Whiteford, but the rich countryside leans to Castleford. But also, poorer Romain leans to both sides. The true exception is the Socialist success in Nuwnociluosoaulaunk.
Population and Politics:
It seems as though the cities with larger populations lean to Whiteford. Why could this be? Maybe the people who live and work in the cities, see the benefits of social programs. Perhaps the rich elite in the cities have most to benefit from the loose morals, and the loose tax code.
(An out of breath SDV)
SDV: Hello folks, there's a lot going on today, so here's some polls. I've just come from my spin class, but yet there is more breaking election news! It seems as though I'll have to just give up and have a bag of crisps...
SDV: Hello and welcome to Questions: Answered. We speak with Lord Basil McDonnough of Castleford. Our first question is from Marc Antonio.
MA: What will you do to help those who have nothing at all?
LBMoC: What? I'm sorry I don't knoweth what you mean??
MA: People who are poor.
LBMoC: Oh!! Well I doth agreeth with you - I agreeth they're disgusting!! Pray tell - how much do ye earn young man?
MA: About 25,000 Shillings a year.
LBMoC: How on earth??! My yearly pheasant hunting trip costs just that much!! Pray tell me, doth you even consumeth pheasant?!
LBMoC: This is why the NAP is proposing big change - our aristocracy is growing thinner and thinner each yeareth. Thus, we doth need to create new respectable classes. Under the NAP you twoeth could be like me - in the aristocracy.
SDV: Now a question from Dillon Tanner.
DT: My question for the NAP leader: Would he support Bishop Lallana's investigation into the murder of Doc Mustard and the attempted murder of Taylor Swift?
LBMoC: Of course not. Do you knoweth what word I doth love - 'tis 'Jingoism' - I want us to haveth more than currently. Thus, this menacing hindrance on our nation must be stopped. Eilidh Whiteford would sell YOUR country to the highest bidder - perhaps even to the Bishop herself. A vote for Whiteford is a vote for selling outeth!!
SDV: Now a question from Niamh, a Nicoleizian living abroad in Dublin.
NY: The reason I came to the United Kingdom was because I wanted greater job opportunity and lower taxes. Whiteford has promised that without any of the backwards, social policies. Why should I vote for you and come back to Icholasen if you're going to take the country back socially?
LBMoC: Well, you must know my young succulent child, that our morals have fallen. To thinketh - we have lost our Christian values. We need radical reforms to regain our lost ground. As for tax, Eilidh would raise taxes on a net basis. She pledgeseth she will keep the funding for the already bloated public services we already haveth. There is such thingeth as too much as too much fundingeth.
SDV: Now a question from Euan from Saint Regina, a man with dual citizenship of the UK and Icholasen.
ED: Do you think you can expand the Base of your party beyond scared, older people?
LBMoC: Of course!! Scared rich people as welleth!! The NAP appeals to those people who puteth country over the world - who see that spending lead to less quality of life - and those who believe in our values. People have always doubtedeth my appeal. And to them I say looketh. Looketh at the people in the streets. Looketh at the popular winds of discontenteth. Looketh at the people in this nation whom believeth we need to go backeth to the good old days.
SDV: Now a question from Karl Corbyn.
KC: As a young person, and a socialist, why on earth should I vote for you?
LBMoC: Hear ye all, hear ye all. Ye can now see why overfunding education does not work. This young man, being funded through school has made him intellectually challenged. See, how this young 'person' has been brainwashed due to his own stupidity. 'Tis clear that this obtuse young man is the product of our disgustingly overfunded education system.
SDV: Now we have a question from Alicia, 36, from Dikaíoma, but residing in Icholasen.
AS: How will you deal with those countries Icholasen has never had relations with before, such as my own?
LBMoC: Whom let this foreigner into our midst? Whom allowed this person, whom has no right to raise here into our sacred hall of democracy? I would of course not start any more relations than we have now. Why risk it? The moreth we interacteth, the more we risketh our own demise. Also: foreign relations sounds a lot like 'relations' - those Inquistan 'morals' are thus trickling into our (much more moral) society.
SDV: And now a final question from Reggie Ronaldo.
RR: Why do you support protectionism when our island was isolated for so long under communism. What difference will there be between your government - and a government under Girluchuz??
LBMoC: Thee, my young child, they reasonings are flawed. There is a large difference between me and the man whom we don't name - partially because I can't pronounce it. Our protectionism will help the people who employ people. Therefore it is good. Communism just protects those at the bottom of the pyramid. How wastefuleth. How disgracefuleth. How disgustingeth. The NAP will never be so disgusting... eth.
SDV: That's our time folks, please tune back in next time for Questions: Answered.
The Upper House of Icholasen - The Royal Nonet(The Royal Nonet's building, the Nonetarium)
(Current makeup of the Nonet, 4 LDS, 2 Socialists, 1 NAP, 1 PoJ, 1 PNP in order from left to right)
The Royal Nonet serves to represent the interests of each Dominion in one place. Perhaps the smallest upper house in Europe, it serves to ratify all legislation made by the Royal Senate. Without the approval of the Nonet, no laws may be passed. Notable Nonetarians in the Nonet are Sasha Yeoman, leader of the LDS, former PoJ leader and Royal Premier, Delphine Cormier, the national icon, Kelis and Morhaul Girlauchuz of the Socialists. The makeup of this House will definitely change after the election, and with a majority of seats (5), the government can pass almost anything they please. So powerful is this group of nine people, security is incredibly tight as even one missing Nonetarian could very much mean the difference. Under the LDS, the Socialists often collaborated with them, along with the PoJ on some issues. For example, to secure the 5 seat majority, the LDS Governors and the PoJ Governor voted up the LDS' proposal to denationalise the knitting industry. The NAP abstained, as the majority of its members, of course, knit. The PNP's history of voting is very sporadic. Often, Kelis just votes against whatever the government proposes.To sum up, the Nonet holds an immense amount of power, and it is likely it will continue to. Many critics, particularly in Regina, think it is unfair that a Dominion with half the population gets an equal say, but Dominionists disagree, as it gives an equal footing to each Dominion.
Tête-à-tête - Coming soon