ANGLETER'S LEADING NEWS SERVICE: ON TV, ONLINE, AND ON PAPER.
ECONOMY OF ANGLETER IN CRISIS!
Damning reports were issued from various well-known economic sources in Angleter today as news came of a dramatic drop in wealth and stocks over the last quarter. MBA, the bank in charge of Angleteric money, has announced a 74% drop in profits, although the more important news coming in is that people are now far worse off than even as little as a week ago.
The fortunes of the Angleteric people have taken a turn for the worse in the last week, with GDP per capita falling by just under $2,000, and the nation slipping fron 9th to 13th in the table of richest nations in the region. GDP now lies at $35,379:19.
Government Unwilling To Solve
The government, as usual, blamed market forces on the troubles and said that their ideology bars them from reacting and supporting these businesses. However, the crippling strikes should end soon, with the government allowing all strikers to be fired by their employers. Socialists and Authoritarians are gathering support. And we thought democracy would drive up standards by competition, as the CLP maintains? Pah!
KHATKAR ''PERMAMENT DELEGATE'', SAYS CLP
Reports have come in saying that the ruling CLP has announced that Rep. Navdeep Khatkar, current Foreign Minister and Temporary Delegate, has been confirmed as the Delegate to the EU Council. He will take the post of 'Minister for EU Affairs' within the Angleteric government as the role of Foreign Minister is to be taken by the little-known minister Hillary Palin, who becomes the first woman to take such a high post in government. Equality groups welcomed the decision.
40 ZULU WARRIORS SHOT DOWN BY BORDER CONTROL
In a shocking development in Angleteric foreign relations today about 40 Zulu warriors launched an horrific assault on the border control of Angleter after declaring their wish to overturn a recent football result.
In this horrible attack the warriors attempted to spear one of the Angleter border officers in the heart, but ultimately missed and caused only minor injuries to the officer. However the tide turned against the warriors, thought to be of Aesop Rockian descent, when the armed border police machine-gunned down the offending warrior. About 40 of the 75-strong army were killed by the officers, who claim to have been acting in self-defence. The remaining 35 dispersed cowardly as they ran away from the gunfire.
The warriors were claiming to have been sent by Aesop Rocks government in anger at Villa's triumphant 3-0 victory over lowly relegation favourites New Birmingham City on Saturday.
[OOC] This is kind of God-mode; your saying my citizens did something which you have no control over really. I'm going to reply IC but I'm never going to accept any AR citizens did such. Plus your league is internal, why would Aesop Rocks care about a result?!
Aesop Rocks denies any knowledge or involvement in the incidents outlined by the MSNA on October 5th of this year. The Aesop Rockian Government demands that Angleter either release the intelligence suggesting Aesop Rockian involvement, Official or otherwise, or the comments made by this paper are withdrawn. An apology is also demanded if no evidence can be procured.
If these demands are not met, Aesop Rocks National Government will take Court action against this paper for slander.
FOREIGN MINISTER PALIN, INTELLIGENCE MINISTER BARRY, TOP DIPLOMAT FLETCHER, IMMIGRATION MINISTER ASTEN AND POLICE CHIEF VAN DYCK ALL FIRED AFTER YET ANOTHER SCANDAL ON REGIONAL LEVEL
Another picture developed yesterday, sadly one that is seemingly becoming dangerously frequent in the CLP top brass. This time after the Police Chief Baron Marck van Dyck claimed that 40 deaths at a border station this week were 'Aesop Rockian Zulu warriors' protesting against a recent football result.
In fact they were Prussian tourists on a travel coach who were in no way planning any attack on the border controllers. They were awfully shot down by Controllers Elliot 'Shoot 'Em' Stabler and Olivia 'Trigger-Happy' Benson, who have past records of unnecessary force use, yet always escaped punishment. They have since been executed for mass murder.
The plot went upward as Intelligence Minister B.O. Barry announced that there had been intelligence suggesting such actions were to be taken. The 'intelligence' turned out to be completely incorrect. The Immigration Minister Albert Asten later confirmed such a story and added that the Ministry had been informed. The last time the Intelligence and Immigration Departments had co-operated was in 1978 after the Border War with South Anglataarja (a nation Angleter annexed in 1979). The message was then relayed to the Foreign Ministry where Hillary Palin, in her job for all of 44 hours before being fired this afternoon, agreed to the plan and connived with Diplomat to Europe Baron Frank Fletcher to 'shift the power balance in Europe'. They hence went public about the supposed attack and were trying to strain relations with Aesop Rocks, hoping that the rest of the EU would take their side.
It took but 3? hours for Aesop Rocks to deny the charges and threaten legal action against the state-owned media service or an apology. This prompted a full investigation into the affair. The weak Palin crumbled first, revealing all about the plot, before all five's deceit was found out. They were all immediately fired and charged with crimes against the state, to which all have confessed. The co-operative Palin was merely charged with aiding and abetting a capital offence. She confessed and has been sentenced to four years in prison. 'The Zulu Four' as they have been named, expect 'life if not death', as PM Monty Catt said earlier.
On behalf of Prime Minister Catt, who has slipped sharply in the polls after Khatkar, Arlington and now the Zulu Four threatening the nation's place in the region, European Council Delegate Navdeep Khatkar is to make a formal announcement to the Council at 1730 GMT this evening. It is widely expected to be the apology demanded by Aesop Rocks for the MSNA's supposed slander that resulted after this absurd plot.
ELECTIONS UNDERWAY FOR PM
The Executive Prime Ministerial Elections got underway today with the CLP widely expected to hang on to power despite a torrid few weeks for PM Monty V. Catt. Catt has had to fire various members of the Cabinet in successive scandals, most notably the 'Zulu Four', whose sentences are being rather absurdly decided by the Representatives of the European Council.
Socialist John Bilson is the opposition candidate and there has been some rumour going about that the borderline Communist may die before inauguration if elected. He has looked tired and frail of late, and besides, is not expected to make much of an impression in the polls.
The third party candidates include Nationalist Baron de Pforttenhelm, Shariaist Mohammed Samim, and Centrist Robert Uvacant. No other parties have been allowed ballot access this year in an effort to keep down the number of 'cuckoo candidates like David Icke' according to Baron Martin Bressen.
ZULU FOUR EXECUTED
THE Zulu Four, Messrs. Barry, Fletcher, van Dyck and Asten have been executed by garrote in Bicentenary Square. This is the last execution in Bicentenary Square as the execution venue moves to private. The Square has seen 1019 executions in 213 years since it was made the hub of Angleteric politics in 1794 to mark 200 years of the Grand Marquessiate being elevated from Grand Baronetcy.
CATT 'STORMING TO VICTORY' SAY EXIT POLLERS
CLP incumbent Monty V. Catt has pulled ahead in the Electoral Point Count as exit pollers suggest he may be on for an early victory. However there are conflicting views as some pollers focussing on larger counties claim a win for Socialist John Bilson. Catt leads Bilson 87-53 with Nationalist Baron De Pforttenhelm holding 4 points in the first ever victory for a third party.
CATT SWORN IN, BILSON DIES
As Prime Minister Monty V. Catt (CLP) was sworn in earlier this week one of the giants of Angleter politics died. John Bilson, leader of the Socialist Party and loser of four consecutive PM votes, died last night aged 72. He was suffering from a heart problem and suffered a heart attack, before being declared dead on arrival at New Birmingham Marquessial Hospital in the early hours. His funeral is today.
TENSION MOUNTS BETWEEN AESOP ROCKS AND CORDENA
EC Delegate Nav Khatkar has reported that tension is mounting between to EU states after a terrorist attack on Aesop Rocks. The terrorist organisation Purple Tyranny bombed the capital of AR, Moseley, last month, prompting a fierce attack on the unoccupied region of AREA 14 to the South of Aesop Rocks, where Purple Tyranny are supposedly based. However Cordena has declared suspicion that AR may wish to seize control of AREA 14, where Cordena has industrial interests and claims rich gold deposits. The Angleter government remains neutral in such matters and urges both nations to show restraint in starting any military combats.
CLP HOLDS TOGETHER SHAKY COALITION MAJORITY IN HOUSE AS VERITAS ENTERS
The majority coalition government led by the Prime Minister's CLP has retained its lead in the House of the People with a slender majority of just 1. Of the 400 seats the CLP scored 155, down 16 on last year despite an increase in seat numbers. The other menbers of the coalition scored 51 giving a total of 201. However news has recently come in telling us that the Centrist Party, Veritas, has joined the coalition to give a majority of 15, increased on 2007's 14.
Meanwhile the SDP has emerged as the successors to the SP which split into the Social-Democrat and Communist Factions after John Bilson's death on 2 November. The SDP gained 107 seats, 48 behind the CLP, while the Comang (Communist Angleter) got only 34.
The members of the Coalition are thus the Conservative & Libertarian Party (leaders), the Angleter National People's Party, Veritas: The Centrist Party and finally the True Libertarian Union. The opposition leaders are the SDP.
Full results are as follows:
LARGE-SCALE MILITARY PARADE IN ZAARSTEN- ANPP WITH MORE POWER?
Yesterday, three days after the election of Angleter's House of the People in which the expansionist Angleter National People's Party gained 22 seats and reluctantly again joined the CLP-led centre-right coalition government, a military parade took place in the city of Zaarsten, Astenshire, near the border with the dormant, placid nation of Neo-Venetia.
As the entire army of the nation poured through the streets with air force flying over and a naval show on the Asten River the spectators watched in awe and spculation.
The main view is that in exchange for their support the ANPP gained the promise that Angleter would become more militaristic and proud of their culture and history. However some are claiming that this show's being close to the Neo-Venetian border means it is designed to scare Neo-Venetia and other European nations as Angleter shows off its prowess. There are even some who believe that Angleter may even go to war with Neo-Venetia to gain more access to the sea and any valuable resources in the region.
The government has laughed off any claims of an intent to frighten or of an impending declaration of war, claiming it as a good day out for the public and an attempt to make Angleterics more aware and proud of their military.
SIX EXTREME PARTIES FORM UNITED FRONT
Six parties with views deemed extreme or unusual by the majority of the population of Angleter have clubbed together to form the Extreme Front today,
After the merger of the Green, Cannabis and Left List parties to form the United Team, the Action for Anglataarjans Front joined to make the Action Party. Today Action and five other parties made an executive decision to form a coalition called the Extreme Front.
Many Angleterics are worried that this front will become more powerful and disrupt the normal democratic procedures of the nation. Some are even predicting an Extreme Front government by 2020. Some radical sections may even make terrorist attacks, the more alarmed groups are saying.
So here are the members of the Extreme Front:
Action Party- 3 seats
COMANG: Communist Angleter- 34 seats
Agrarian Union- 7 seats
Anarchist Party of Angleter- 9 seats
Angleter's Luddite Party- 7 seats
People's Justice Party for Shari'ah- 7 seats
Total House Seats: 67
MORALISTIC CONCERNED MIDDLE-CLASS PARENTS' PARTY CALL FOR NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE, SDP AND EXTREME FRONT AGREE
The authoritarian MCMCPP, with 11 House seats, has called for government 'to do more' to ensure childrens' protection from all dangers and evils in the world and highlighted a wish for an NHS to be set up.
Angleter has never had an NHS, but government has since 1973 subsidised those who cannot afford treatment. The leftist SDP and Extreme Front support such a service being set up, but the ruling CLP has claimed that a State servie is unnecesary and would cause a tax bombshell.
ANGLETER 'NEEDS ACCESS TO THE SEA', CLAIMS NAVY LEADER
The head of the Angleter Navy has announced that to be a proper fighting force, he believes that the currently landlocked nation must expand and gain naval bases on the sea. He also cites economic benefits of such action.
Currently the navy is based in various lakes and reservoirs around the country connected by very wide canals with an outlet to the sea, but it has now become apparent that this is just not good enough in a modern era and that the Angleteric navy needs a port.
ANGLETERIC ARMY ENTERS NEO-VENETIA CITY, LAW AND ORDER RESTORED TO FAILED STATE!
The glorious military of the Grand Marquessate has entered the city of Neo-Venetia just minutes ago led by Major General Baron Curtis. Cheers resounded through the capital as the Neo-Venetians welcomed our troops in. The failed state has slipped into poverty in the last few years and this compassionate mission by our government has been a resounding success. If all goes well then this nation will be larger in a proclamation by PM Monty V. Catt, His Grand Honour Joseph IV and Baron de Pforttenhelm, Head of AGRAM at 1800 GMT.
INTERNATIONAL REACTION TO THE ANGLETERIC INVASION OF NEO-VENETIA
The Soviet Union has announced its condemnation of the Angleteric Military Operation, citing it as an 'aggressive' action. The Soviet Union has said that it is to deploy thousands of troops into the area as soon as possible. Angleter is bracing itself for a possible war with the Communist state, but the government insists that it is going to resolve this.
Belarum, however, has maintained a diplomatic stance in the matter, its delegate claiming that Angleter's operation is 'not rogue or aggressive', but 'understands how such a conclusion can be reached'.
Navdeep Khatkar will make a full speech on the matter at 1805 GMT, after the annexation at 1800 GMT.
NEO-VENETIA OFFICIALLY NOW A PART OF THE ANGLETERIC NATION!
Angleter has annexed the failed state of Neo-Venetia. In a speech the Grand Marquess has announced that law and order have returned to this nation and that the economy has been saved. Angleter will federalise the Neo-Venetian counties on Monday.
MILITARY GROWTH ANNOUNCED
Today, after weeks of building and sign-ups, Angleter has announced that her military has grown dramatically in size. There has been a rush of people joining our forces in response to the Zombie Virus outbreak in the Reich, and there has been frantic building of planes and battleships given Angleter's greater industrial capacity.
SOVIET UNION "HAS MEN IN NEO-VENETIA"
It has been reported that the Soviet Union has yet to remove its men from the new Angleteric land of Neo-Venetia, and has been called to remove its troops by our EU delegate Navdeep Khatkar.
NATIONALIST NEO-VENETIAN TERRORISTS BOMB NEO-VENETIA CITY, 77 DEAD, 23 OF WHICH ANGLETER MILITARY
The news is true: the Angleteric military has, for the first time for 25 years, been attacked by enemy forces. A group calling itself the Social Republican Front for Neo-Venetia has bombed the City of Neo-Venetia, killing 23 Angleter military personnel and 54 Neo-Venetian citizens. This action has been condemned by the Angleter Government, currently in talks over the regional ratification of the annexation of Neo-Venetia, opposed by the Soviet Union.
The Social Republican Front has been one of the key tyrannical groups fighting for control of Neo-Venetia in the last few years after the complete collapse of functioning government. Their leader said,"We shall not rest until all foreigners are kicked out of our land, and we will target all nations with a military presence. We shall continue to fight until the region recognises the Neo-Venetian Social Republic as the true state and us as its true autocrats. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!"
The word on the street of Neo-Venetia has been of condemnation at the attacks, a poll showing 94% of people against the Social Republicans. 44% want Angleteric control, 35% want international control, and 21% want an Independent Neo-Venetia left alone.
REVAMPED MILITARY FINALISED, MILITARY SERVICE IN
In response to the Soviet Union's negative reaction to the liberation of Neo-Venetia and the Communists' then changing their economy to a 'wartime economy', the Angleter government 'feels threatened' and has brought in military service for all men aged between 27 and 29 unless they join the police force or are doctors or lawyers.
The government hailed the high age as 'a masterstroke, now you can live before being sent to fight and, perish the thought, die.' Also is the rolling out of 1,988 new nuclear warheads that have been kept in reserve underground for many years. The military sees an overall increase in size, but the navy has decreased in size, citing a distinct lack of manpower and space as the reason.
ANGLETER 'HAS NO MORE TERRITORIAL PLANS'
After the liberation of Neo-Venetia, many nations have expressed their fear at Angleter's military growth and supposed 'expansionism'. In response the Angleter government has pledged that all regional nations have nothing to fear from the Grand Marquessate of Angleter. Neo-Venetia is described as a special case by Baron de Pforttenhelm.
SURGE IN SIGN-UPS AS DIPLOMATIC CRISIS HEATS UP
Over the last day the Security Council has published a resolution condemning the Angleteric liberation of Neo-Venetia. This has so far been dismissed by Angleter and the diplomatic crisis has reached boiling point in Europolis.
This has led many men and some women who do not have to partake in military service at the current time to join the army and air force to defend their nation if war breaks out.
Also unveiled today were many new units of fighter jets and some new bomber units designed by Alfred Michaels, leading military engineer and renowned innovator. The fighters are Michaels-09F Mk.I and the bombers are Michaels-06B Mk. IV.
ANGLETER NAVAL DOWNSIZING COMPLETED
The Angleter navy has finally cut its size to one reasonable for a landlocked nation, says the head of military authority AGRAM, Baron de Pforttenhelm.
"The navy has been sufficiently downsized, and all personnel from the navy have been retrained into the Army or Air Fleet. I hope this is a new dawn for the Angleteric armed services," said de Pforttenhelm as the diplomatic tensions with Belarum reached new heights.
THREE DAYS TO WAR, SAYS BELARIAN PRESIDENT BURKE
Belarum's President Evan Burke has announced that if Angleter does not withdraw all forces from Neo-Venetia within 72 hours, then Belarum will commence its attacks on the 95,000 troops from the Grand Marquessate occupying the anarchic state of Neo-Venetia.
This chilling warning has so far been met with a stony silence from our government, but it is understood that a vote on the issue will take place later on Friday.
MSNA LIVE REPORT FROM PARLIAMENT
The results on the Bill "Removal of Military Personnel from the Territory of Neo-Venetia" are as follows:
The following number of members ABSTAIN: 24
The following number of members vote FOR: 152
The following number of members vote AGAINST: 226
Thus I declare hereby that, by a straight majority of 26 votes the Bill "Removal of Military Personnel from the Territory of Neo-Venetia" has been DEFEATED.
The results on the Bill "Final Neo-Venetian Negotiations" are as follows:
The following number of members ABSTAIN: 22
The following number of members vote FOR: 357
The following number of members vote AGAINST: 21
Thus I declare hereby that, by a straight majority of 157 votes the Bill "Final Neo-Venetian Negotiations" has been PASSED and its contents shall be implemented immediately.