The Hunter and the Huntress
November 29, 2020
Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg emerged from her wooden cabin decked out entirely in pink camo. In the white and green environment around her, the Archbishop stood out like a sore thumb. Mikaela slung a large pink hunting rifle over her shoulder as she walked through the village. The Archbishop wasn't a fan of the cold, but her designer pink camo winter suit kept her sufficiently warm. Mikaela eventually reached the main hunting lodge located in the centre of the village, and walked inside.
The Archbishop scanned the inside of the hunter's lodge, looking for Prime Minister Sauli Niinistö, who had not yet arrived. Mikaela's eyes lit up as she noticed there was a cafe located in the corner of the lodge. In the early morning, a coffee was exactly what Mikaela needed. With her rifle still slung over her shoulder, the Archbishop walked up to the counter of the cafe.
"A triple, grande, half sweet, non-fat, caramel macchiato with soy milk, please," Mikaela ordered with a smile. The elderly woman behind the cashier looked at the Archbishop with an expression of confusion and bewilderment. The elderly woman then looked Mikaela up and down, and viewed her pink camo outfit with visible skepticism.
After a moment, the elderly woman simply replied, in a thick Mennrimian accent, "We don't have that here."
"Oh," Mikaela replied with disappointment. The Archbishop stepped back for a second and examined the small cafe, before then walking up to the counter again. "Is there a Starbucks around here?"
The old Mennrimian woman burst out laughing, as if she heard a really good joke. The old lady had to take a minute to recompose herself, and then tersely replied, "Not for many, many kilometers."
"Oh, I see. So, what can I get here?" Mikaela pouted.
"Dark or light roast. Small, medium or large."
"Medium dark roast, please," Mikaela politely ordered. After then receiving her coffee, Mikaela payed for her order with her credit card and tipped the woman 200 Mannrek. The old lady just about had a heart attack.
The Archbishop spun around with her coffee, and her rifle, and then walked to a nearby table and sat down. Mikaela sipped on her coffee as she took out her phone, and began to scroll through her Instagram feed. "I'll get so many pretty pictures today!" Mikaela whispered in excitement to herself. After a few minutes of sipping her coffee and scrolling through social media, Mikaela caught a glimpse of Prime Minister Niinistö entering the lodge.
Mikaela immediately got up from her seat and hurried toward the Mennrimian Prime Minister. The Archbishop gave him a tight hug as she greeted him. "Sauli! It's so good to see you again. I'm glad that we can finally talk one-on-one after the latest Leader's Meeting in Europolis."
After hugging the Prime Minsiter, Mikaela then complimented the Prime Minister's hunting attire. "You really rock camo! I don't think I will be able to see you at all outside! You'll be totally invisible, kind of like Winston's eurorail project."
The Archbishop then performed a small spin, and showed off her pink camo suit. "Do you like it? I got it just for this occasion. Everyone's giving me weird looks... probably because they're super jealous, right?"
"Anyway, I don't think we have too much time to waste. We've gotten up super duper early, and we need to make the most of the day! We have a long day ahead of us," Mikaela continued, before then signaling that the Prime Minister should follow her outside. The Archbishop grabbed her rifle and then led Prime Minister Niinistö outside the lodge and to a nearby pink camo ski-doo.
Mikaela attached her rifle and backpack to the end of the ski-doo, and then hopped on. The Archbishop then turned and look at the Prime Minister. "C'mon! Hop on!"
The Mennrimian Prime Minister followed the Archbishop's lead and hopped on the ski-doo. "Okay, hold on tight," the Archbishop further instructed the Prime Minister. Before they knew it, the ski-doo suddenly whizzed away.
The Archbishop revved the ski-doo's engine and blasted at full speed, quickly pulling away from the village. Mikaela pushed the ski-doo's power to the maximum, and the vehicle jettisoned forward with tremendous and uncontrollable speed. The Archbishop swerved the vehicle between several trees as she navigated the duo through the forest. There were several close calls, where the Archbishop very nearly crashed at maximum-speed into trees as she steered her way through the wilderness.
"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. I once had to race one of these back in '17 when a robber stole some of my jewelry from my cabin when I was enjoying a ski trip in Vayinaod. The robber got away on his dog sled, which was being pulled by some huskies. I managed to catch up to the robber on a ski-doo, which I had never driven before, and then I accidentally crashed into one of the robber's huskies - PETA was not very happy about that, but luckily I have some great lawyers that got me out of that trouble - and I got my jewelry back from the robber. You're in safe hands with me," Mikaela explained.
The two suddenly reached a vast downhill slope, and the Archbishop then drove the ski-doo at full speed downwards. The ski-doo charged straight downhill with enough G-force that Mikaela felt as if she was flying a fighter jet. Snow and pieces of debris blasted into the Archbishop's face.
Mikaela swerved slightly, and a large piece of ice was dislodged from behind the ski-doo, which sent a ripple through the snow. Suddenly, an avalanche began to emerge from behind. The avalanche began to grow, and quickly began to catch up with the ski-doo, which continued to zip downhill as fast as possible. The Archbishop turned her head and looked at the avalanche behind them. "Don't worry Sauli," Mikaela grinned with determination. The Archbishop then turned her focus forward, eager to reach the bottom of the hillside.
"So," the Archbishop then shouted, so she could be heard over the loud sound of the ski-doo's engine and the avalanche behind them, "How are things in Mennrimiak? I was hoping we could discuss a few things today, and hopefully get some sort of agreement signed between our countries," the Archbishop remarked rather casually. "Would you be interested in removing all trade tariffs and custom duties between Inquista and Mennrimiak, establishing free trade between our states?"
Hahaha, oh Mikaela, you are sooo fun, even though your ride was amazing, i think i should use my own
Snowmobile from now on.
And yeah, i have been fine, thanks, i think that your proposal is very interesting, a trade deal between inquista and Mennrimiak could be a very big step on our friendship.
"Great! I'm glad to hear that you're open to free trade!" Mikaela shouted as she continued to steer and race down the hill. Suddenly, a very large crevasse appeared some 50 metres in their path. The crevasse was a large canyon that ran down the side of the hill, which seemed to fall down to an abyss below.
"Uh-oh. Okay, hold on tight, Sauli," Mikaela instructed, with both worry and excitement ringing in her voice. As the ski-doo approached the crevasse, Mikaela swerved to a nearby snow pile, and used it as as ramp. The ski-doo went flying up the snow pile and then suddenly found itself airborne several metres above the ground. The Archbishop tipped the nose of the ski-doo forward and performed a front-flip, making the vehicle and its two passengers perform a summersault in the air. The duo went flying over the crevasse and then landed on the other side. After sticking the landing on the other side of the canyon, the Archbishop felt quite proud of her vehicular acrobatics. Luckily for the Archbishop, the Mennrimian Prime Minister was still gripping onto her and was still safely on the ski-doo. The Archbishop then continued to drive forward with great speed.
Mikaela looked backwards and noticed that the avalanche slid into the crevasse and seemed to dissipate as the snow fell below, instead of continuing crashing forward. The crisis was averted. The Archbishop sighed with relief. The pair narrowly escaped an avalanche and could now tell the tale. The two soon approached the bottom of the hill and returned to flat elevation.
The Archbishop continued to drive the ski-doo until they reached another forested area. This was area that the Archbishop was looking for, as it apparently had quite a few deer in the proximity. Mikaela slowly brought the ski-doo to a stop, and halted on the edge of woods. Mikaela turned the vehicle off and then brought her down the ski-doo and onto the snow.
"Alrighty. Sauli, I think this is the spot", the Archbishop commented as she collected her pink rifle and her backpack from the end of the ski-doo. Mikaela helped the Mennrimian Prime Minister off the vehicle and handed him his own rifle.
Mikaela then opened up her backpack and took out some face paint, and painted two pink stripes on her cheeks, before then applying two streaks of black paint on the Prime Minister's cheeks. "There. Fully camouflaged," Mikaela commented.
The Archbishop entered the forest with her rifle at the ready, and motioned for the Prime Minister to follow suit. The two began to steadily walk through the wintery brush with extreme care, keeping their eyes out for any deer.
Mikaela began to talk to the Prime Minister in a hushed, quiet whisper. "We can talk, but we gotta keep reeeeal quiet," the Archbishop commented. Naturally, the Archbishop was a total chatter box, so she couldn't help herself from talking, but thankfully, she could talk quietly. "Keep your eyes peeled. Apparently there are tons of deer here," Mikaela continued.
After a few minutes of some concentrated exploration, the Archbishop returned to discussing matters of state, while still whispering. Hunting while negotiating seemed like a lot of fun to the Archbishop. "Anyway, like I said earlier, I'm glad that you're open to a free trade agreement. I think both of our countries will greatly benefit from it. Inquistans have a lot of money and financial capital, and we're the biggest economy in Europe, but our country has basically no natural resources, since we're a city state. Mennrimiak, on the other hand, has tons of natural resources. Inquistan businesses, investors and consumers need these resources in order to power our economy and our industry. If Mennrimian businesses and industries are looking to find lots of eager and happy customers, who have lots of money, then look no further: Inquistans will happily buy Mennrimian resources."
"Mennrimiak has a lot of oil and natural gas, which Inquistan industry really needs right now. Icholasen and the Sahrawi Union used to be Inquista's biggest sources of oil and natural gas, but the Sahrawi Union has now left the EU, and Icholasen is now sanctioned, so we're looking for a great trade partner to fill this void, and Mennrimiak can be the answer.
Your country also has a great tech sector, and Inquista could be a great place to expand in. Blume's Tech is doing some very innovating stuff in Mennrimiak, and Inquista could be a great market for them to access. I know that Inquistan investors would be more than happy to invest in Blume Tech and expand its business into our country.
In order to help increase cross-border trade, invest, and also tourism, I think it's also good that we establish visa-free travel between our countries, so that Inquistans and Mennrimians can travel between our two countries freely and easily. What do you think of that?"
All of a sudden, a crackling sound could be heard in the distance. Mikaela quickly ducked down. "I think I hear something... O-M-G. Look there," the Archbishop pointed, gesturing towards a very large deer in the distance. Mikaela then got down on her stomach and signaled for the Mennrimian prime Minister to do the same. "Look at the antlers on this one. This is all yours, Sauli. Take the shot!"
After Mikaela avoided that Avalanche as in an Action Movie Sauli just laughted and told the Achibishop that her snowmobile skills were amazing and then he did what mikaela told him to do.
(AFTER INQUISTA POST)
Sauli then aimed like he was a profesional shooter and then, (BANG) and deer fell on the ground.
Yes, Archibishop, Mennrimiak is really interested on selling its resources, as you stated, Mennrimiak has reserves of oil and natural gas that we would gladly export to inquista, and about the technological agreement, i think we need the CEO of Blume to have better grounds for that agreement.
"Great shot, Sauli!" Mikaela complimented approvingly, admiring the Prime Minister's great aim. As the deer fell to the ground, another deer in the distance suddenly darted away, running for safety. Mikaela noticed this second deer, and quickly lifted up her rifle and took aim. The Archbishop held her breath, thereby reducing the natural sway of her body, and fired. The deer collapsed. "Got 'em", the Archbishop announced with pride. "I didn't even use my scope," Mikaela continued, "that was a total no scope."
The two leaders then carefully approached the first deer, which the Prime Minister had skillfully killed. Mikaela took a tag out of her backpack and clipped it through the deer's ear. The Archbishop then walked over to the other deer, tagged it as well, and then used her phone to take note of the coordiantes, which she then wrote down in her phone's notes app. "These deer are so heavy! We will have to carry them on by one back!" Mikaela shouted at the Prime Minister.
Mikaela and the Prime Minister then began the process of carrying the first deer back to their skii-doo, before then repeating the process with the second deer. As they walked back to retrieve the second deer, Mikaela returned the discussion to politics.
"I was just giving examples of the benefits of our free trade agreement, but I agree, our tech sectors can contact one another and figure out a way to cooperate on their own terms. What do you think of my visa free-travel proposal, though?"
After bringing the second deer back to their vehicle, the Archbishop brushed some sweat off her brow and sighed, feeling quite exhausted. Mikaela then admired their joint handiwork, before requesting that the Prime Minister take a photo of her and her deer.
"Oooh, Sauli, you need to take a picture of me with the deer I shot," the Archbishop pleaded. Mikaela then handed the Prime Minister her phone and posed with her deer.
"Okay, now your turn. I will take a picture of you with your deer," the Archbishop announced. "Don't worry, I won't use any filters. You look great."
The Archbishop squealed with excitement after taking the Prime Minister's picture. "This will be so great for the 'Gram. Honestly."
The two then loaded up their kills onto the back of the ski-doo. Before they prepared to leave the area, a rustling sound could be heard from the edge of the forest. Mikaela looked up and wondered it could be. A large grizzly bear then emerged from the forest.
"Watch out! Sauli! A grizzly bear!" the Archbishop announced with a fright. The grizzly bear then darted towards the two. Mikaela grabbed the hunting rifles and attempted to pass Sauli's rifle to him, but the bear rushed towards Mikaela and she tumbled to the ground, and the two rifles went flying away.
Mikaela felt as if all the air was knocked out of her stomach, but she managed to get back up. The bear then stood on its hind legs, and Mikaela backed up away.
"Thankfully, I took some boxing classes with this totally hot instructor in Red Croatia," Mikaela bragged, readying to engage the grizzly bear in hand-to-hand combat. Mikaela punched the bear with all the might of her right first before upper-cutting the bear with her left fist. The bear recoiled at each of the blows, but didn't seem too phased. The bear then smacked Mikaela with the back of its left paw, and Mikaela went flying to the ground.
The Archbishop then looked up at the Prime Minister with urgency. "Sauli! Save me! You need to defeat the bear!"
Sauli then imediatly knew what he had to do, he took a large stick of wood and a flat rock, he kicked that rock with the stick as if he was playing hockey, the rock hit the bear head so hard that left him unconcious, Sauli once again have saved the day.
"O-M-G. Sauli, you're my hero!" Mikaela swooned as she observed the Prime Minister knock the grizzly bear unconscious. Mikaela then took out her phone and snapped a selfie of herself, the Prime Minister and the unconscious bear together in one frame. "What a great story this will be. I'm putting this up on my Instagram immediately, I just hope that I don't get in trouble with PETA again."
After snapping a picture and uploading it onto her Instagram, the Archbishop then collected her belongings, the guns that fell to the ground, and loaded everything up on the ski-doo. The Archbishop gestured for the Prime Minister to get on, and then she drove the duo back to the hunting lodge in Kristiansund. Mikaela was sure to take a safer route this time, and managed to return to the village without having to escape an avalanche or perform a front-flip over a canyon.
Once they returned to Kristiansund, the pair unloaded the deer which they hunted, and transported them inside the lodge. Inside, the pair met up with a taxidermist. The Archbishop had organized and paid for a taxidermist to transform any kills that they had into trophies that they could hang on the wall. In this case, the taxidermist promised the pair that he would soon transform their two deer into two beautiful busts, along with their antlers, that they could have later have as trophies.
Mikaela then led the Prime Minister to a meeting room inside the hunting lodge, where they could finalise a treaty between Inquista and Mennrimiak while they drank some whiskey.
"Alright, well, I believe this is what we agreed upon today. Is there anything you wish to discuss or add? If there isn't then, then we we can go ahead sign this."
The Archbishop took out a black pen from her purse and signed the agreement.
Yes, i would like that if you agree, to add a point where both states compromise to help each other in an emergency situation, like natural disasters and human made emergencies, like explosions and that kind of stuff, and also a point where both states compromise to share technological and scientific achievements, Do you agree?
"Oh, those are perfect. I'll also add in the bit about creating economic opportunities to encourage our tech companies to expand in each of our states. Since our countries will cooperate on research, it might also be good that our intelligence services share intelligence information with each other, so we can cooperate on fighting any international crime or terrorism that comes between us. How does this look? Anything else?"