The Government of the Republic of Istkalen

  • EU

    Istkalen is a unitary parliamentary republic presently under foreign occupation, managed as a protectorate.

    President: Liros Ikomar
    President of the Council of Ministers (Prime Minister): Vistek Rikkalek

    The six ministries of development were founded in 1910 with the end of royal dictatorship. Each ministry corresponds to one of the seven state chambers of the time, and in theory is meant to fund and instigate development in each. They are composed of those who are theoretically the most adept in their specific sector, measured through examinations held by the national Court of Examination. Until 1973, and again between 1985 and 1999, and finally in 2021 (theoretically), they held seats in the Chamber of State, which became a chamber in its own right in 1946. Between 1999 and 2021, they were known as ministries, having been renamed as such by the Social Democratic government. They were renamed by edict of the Head of State, and again back to ministries by such an edict. Before 1910, they were known as directorates.

    Ministerof Agriculture: Seres Kalisek
    Minister of Commerce: Lires an Rikseler
    Minister of Labor: Inge Klingberg
    Minister of Crafts and Trades: Milrakas Isele
    Minister of the Arts: Makketis Ikalsser
    Minister of the Professions: Ilisapit Íkrat
    Minister of State Affairs: Vistek Rikkalek

    The remainder of ministries exist for the purpose of state administration - to coordinate activities that cannot be easily coordinated through the system of chambers. They, too, are mostly composed of those who are most adept in their corresponding activity, measured by examination; some, however (Defense, Interior, and Justice) are at least partially elected by the general public, although they must still have passed the examinations mentioned. Naming schemes, as well as representation, have followed the pattern of the unions of development.

    Minister of Public Works: Dr. Iskiris Koline
    Minister of Defense: collective
    Minister of Finance: Dr. Iskiris Koline
    Minister of the Interior: Solis Kolar
    Minister of Foreign Affairs: Írenet Isteresskemar
    Minister of State Security: collective
    Minister of Justice: Ilisapit an Keraves
    Minister of Education: Kirtrut Liritle
    Minister of Communications: Solesz Kulkestek
    Minister of Transportation: Kelastet Neres
    Minister of Health: Ilinek Isterle

  • EU

    Regarding the Status of Former Councillor Anja Mauer

    The disgusting behavior of Councillor Anja Mauer has resulted in her recall, in an emergency session of the National Assembly of the Federation of Istkalen, in a vote Y 534 - N 164, with 2 voting present.

    The specific reasons for the recall are summarized below in a report prepared by the Presidium of the National Assembly:

    "Councillor Anja Mauer, in her recent actions, has shown a total disrespect for our Federation and the greater Union to which we currently belong. Such a woman is not fit to remain in her high office, for she disgraces herself and her nation every second she continues to do so."

    She is replaced by her deputy, Mrs. Elspeth Arkalis.

    Long live the Federation.

    Beate Meinl-Reisinger
    Head of State of the Federation of Istkalen

  • EU

    On Betrayal of the Nation

    Betrayal of our nation, which attempts to stand unified beneath my leadership as it prepares to defend itself against the Western hordes, is now a crime punishable by death by dismemberment.

    All country-sellers and Westerners will be put to death. All people who try to sicken others, who try to break apart our unity, will be put to death. My leadership, my loving and wise leadership, must be followed by all. It is a necessity, for otherwise we would fall apart and be taken by the West. Those who try not to will be put to death.

    In this vein, there are a number of traitorous activities that it must be made clear are illegal, for they undermine the unity of our nation. No individual may be seen speaking in any language apart from Helts. Helts is the only language of our nation; all other languages are imported and meant to slowly sicken people as to ensure that the West takes over. Any person who speaks in this language, who has any materials in these languages that are not handed over to the state for immediate destruction, is a traitor, and thus must be put to death for the safety and unity of our nation.

    All people must direct all their energies towards the preservation of our nation, through the organs of state that coalesce around my figure. If they do not do so; if they are purposefully weak, if they purposefully slack, if they are not fervent enough towards our cause; if they do not follow my leadership with the eagerness and energy needed to preserve our nation in perpetuity; they too will be traitors, for they weaken our nation and spread the sickness introduced by the West. They are country-sellers and collaborators, and thus must be put to death.

    Every citizen, whether here or abroad, has the responsibility of killing every country-seller, collaborator, and Westerner they see, with all their energy and vigor. If they do not, they are traitors, and thus may join the West in their death.

    Citizens, I must remind you - it is a necessity that all traitors and Westerners die; we cannot be safe if a single one of them is allowed to remain alive.

    Everyone must be united against the West. Anyone who dares collaborate with them must die at our united hands.

    Beate Meinl-Reisinger
    Head of State of the Federation of Istkalen

  • EU


    The Federation of Istkalen declares war on all other nations. All 26 million members of the population, in their great devotion, have joined this great fight, even the smallest of infants and the frailest of the sick, who shall be used as ammunition and for other such purposes.

    We march upon the West; every Westerner we see, we shall kill.

    Any person who dares defy shall be killed, for they are but traitors and country-sellers. They must be, if they are not united with their nation. The same shall befall all those who are closest to them, for they surely are collaborators or have terminal mind-sickness. These people may not be spoken of; if they are, all those who say and who hear shall be put to death. Any people - any nation, any division, any city - which attempts to rebel as a whole - shall be completely exterminated. No trace of them will be left; to speak of them will be a criminal offense punished by death.

    Beate Meinl-Reisinger
    Head of State of the Federation of Istkalen

  • EU

    On the Absence of Our Head of State

    Citizens, our Head of State died peacefully in her sleep. The Council of Ministers, in coordination with the eight state chambers of the nation, thus will temporarily take power.

    There are, in this time, a number of concerns we have. Many have used our Head of State's exhortations to the nation as to justify terrible abuses against the people. Most shockingly, these include horrific depravities, from mass cannibalism to the murder of those who express themselves through the language of their birth and the shooting of those who voice legitimate and material concerns regarding the conditions of our Istkalen.

    These people are evidently crazed; the Chamber of State, with the express approval of all other Chambers, is creating tribunals as to try them in fair and public trials, as to ensure that they face justice for what they have attempted to do to the people.

    We do, however, have several additional comments to make.

    Primarily, it must be stated, that divisional government no longer holds power. In this vein, Istkalen will no longer be referred to as a federation but rather simply as "Istkalen." The nation is one and indivisible; while decentralization, of course, must exist in recognition of the municipality, one of the primary bases of our Istkalen, from which it was born, the nation cannot be divided. All are represented and all are free; but under our national and unified government, all should be one.

    Secondly, we have no intention of re-legalizing political parties, for they have shown themselves to have divided the people unnecessarily and stifled unity and genuine representation. All political parties, including the Social Democratic Party, will remain prohibited. However, we demand that their leaders be released; they have committed no crime, and have the right, as everyone else does, to participate in our new society of a national character. If they attempt to purposely divide the people and/or oppose the nation with illegitimate and/or non-material concerns, they may again be arrested for this; they will be entitled to a free trial and dignity.

    Thirdly, we must remind all citizens that we are presently in a transitional state as for the resurrection of the nation and the creation of a new society. In this vein, elections will be held to the producers' unions, on a local and national basis, as well as to the municipal and national state chambers on a national basis, on a technocratic and national basis.

    Fourthly, we realize that there is present a condemnation of our nation in the European Council, and thus send, as interim representation until elections can be held, Gertrude Echteran, who was almost martyred by some of those who tortured the people and used our former Head of State's words as justification.

    We have a final issue, the most worrisome of them all, to address - regarding the war that our Head of State, in a spirit perhaps too patriotic as to ignore material concerns, made. The declaration was metaphorical in nature; however, it appears that a great number of generals did not interpret it as such. Regardless, we announce that we are surrendering to all, save for Reitzmag, which has invaded our territory. Despite this, the Provisions against the Northern Hordes of the year ELKE 2445 / AD 341, will remain activated, as to ensure that the Northern Hordes do not overrun our nation and rob our people of all they have.

    Ilest Kerel
    Acting Head of State of Istkalen

  • EU

    On the Elections

    Producers' unions, untouched by the division of the politics of the dead Istkalen, today voted as to elect the state chambers of our new and resurrected country, as to replace those temporarily appointed by our departed Head of State. They have re-approved the present government, formed after a re-shuffle on my behalf upon the death of our former Head of State.

    Our Istkalen, with a new life, will rejoice under steady and intelligent governance.

    Ilest Kerel
    Acting Head of State of Istkalen

  • EU

    On the Following Communique Released by the Government of Reitzmag

    The Government of Istkalen received the following communique from the Kingdom of Reitzmag:

    HM Government of the Kingdom of Reitzmag
    Cabinet at War
    To: The Government of Istkalen
    Subject: Ultimatum to End Armed Conflict
    The Government of the Kingdom of Reitzmag had decided that a peaceful end to the conflict would be a better option for the greater good of our people. Our goals for the occupation of the Southwestern part of Istkalen are clearly in response to your actions that resulted in the deaths of many from our troops. Istkalenian armed militias have continued fighting at our borders and keep trying to push our Armed Forces to occupy Reitzmag. They have managed to occupy only a single minor town for a day, before it was eventually liberated. Therefore, in exchange of our troops seceding from your soil in peace and prisoners of war being released back, we give the following demands:
    - The Southwestern-most tip of Elbing-Truso with an area of approximately 150 sq km shall be annexed by the Kingdom of Reitzmag
    - The size of your Armed Force shall be reduced to only 130000 ground force personnel, 20000 air force personnel, and 4000 naval force personnel
    - Reitzmic Citizens shall have visa-free access to Istkalen, the Reitzmic government shall not be required to give visa-free access to Istkalenians.
    Should the following demands be accepted, our leaders may meet at the border in Mt. Britannia to sign a treaty. If not, then our soldiers will remain at the areas we occupied (i.e. Elbing/Truso). We will wait for a response until the next week, for now we declare an armistice with you until a response would be received.
    Sir Simon Bridges KCMG
    Prime Minister
    Joseph Westbrown
    Peace Envoy to Istkalen

    Istkalen is a nation that has stood as one for thousands of years. This declaration is beyond ludicrous in nature. We will not be making any territorial concessions, regardless of how small they are; until we are sure that no genocidaires remain, we will not be making any changes to the size of our military - and we will not be further endangering the lives of foreigners, who said genocidaires are hostile to. We are willing to pay reparations, to, in this vein guarantee Reitzmag mineral exports, to an extent, at subsidized cost, and to, upon the defeat of the genocidaires, reduce the size of our military, but little else. As an aside, we will be communicating this farce of a statement to the People's Committees operating in the area as well.

    Ilest Kerel
    Head of State of Istkalen

  • EU

    Second Statement Regarding the Reitzmic Communique

    The Government of Istkalen, from now-detained general Itani Virkonas, has received additional information regarding the "invasion" of Reitzmag.

    Citizen Virkonas has made the claim that said "invasion" was heavily disorganized, involving combatants who were little more than lightly armed civilians, for the most part, lasting less than a day - from 03:00 to 18:23 on the 16th of April, suffering high casualties in a short period of time, and being entirely unable to penetrate any further than 1 km, at most, into the territory of Reitzmag, all of which have been confirmed independently by this Government. We are willing to demonstrate said evidence, as well as the methodology used to confirm it, to the general international community, if asked.

    Virkonas has also made the claim that it was the former Minister of Defense, who is now facing trial for crimes against humanity, that ordered the invasion. We have little doubt that this is true, given that said Minister of Defense has already admitted to this; because of this, an additional charge of crimes against peace will be added against her.

    There is some evidence showing that our former Head of State was involved, as well; this may be true, especially as it was recently discovered that she suffered from delusions as well as hallucinations. If she was responsible for anything at all, one cannot blame her or our Istkalen, for, again, it is likely that she was mentally unfit for her position.

    We are not willing to, as a result, concede particularly much to Reitzmag, the great imperialist of Europe, any more. We are willing to pay reparations for whatever little havoc was wreaked by the actions of Virkonas; but little else. We will not be conceding almost anything else save for this. If Reitzmag attempts to annex our territory by force, then they must know this - the people of Istkalen will never recognize their tyranny as legitimate. Regardless of whatever horrors it may try to inflict on them - death, deportation, torture - they will stand unbowed. They will never obey the law of Reitzmag imposed on them; they will recognize only their own law, the law of the land and the nation which birthed them. You may occupy them forever, but this will never change. Our nation has stood through four millennia; it will stand forever more.

    Ilest Kerel
    Head of State of Istkalen

  • EU

    From the Chamber of State, expressly approved by the Council of Ministers

    Regarding the Future of Our Istkalen

    Our Istkalen, as it rises from the ruins left by the crazed government of Meinl-Reisinger, is threatened by forces both internal and external.

    The last of the genocidal supporters of the former regime continue to evade justice, continuing to torture our people; foreign occupiers, who pretended to be benevolent, now attempt to annex our territory and take away our people for their own perverted uses; the Social Democratic Party abroad uses whatever is left of its malignant influence abroad as to allow democracy to again fall in our Istkalen and to restore the horrific regime of Meinl-Reisinger.

    The situation is untenable, and we are no longer able to withstand it alone. In order to stabilize the country, the armed forces of the foreign governments of the Union to which we so precariously belong, are invited into the territory of Istkalen, on the condition that they do not make any attempt to threaten our territorial integrity.

  • EU

    From the Ministry of Defense

    The Ministry of Defense confirms that a number of strikes were made on Reitzmic encampments in Istkalen at 03:51. May the occupiers be expelled; may our Istkalen be free forever.

    Eliise Sepp
    Minister of Defense of Istkalen

  • EU

    From the Minister of Defense

    With the express permission of the Head of State, utilizing emergency powers under the Provisions against the Northern Hordes, the return of evacuees must end, for the protection of the general safety. Evacuation of the cities will begin again; all citizens will be moved into the countryside, temporarily, for their own protection.

    Eliise Sepp
    Minister of Defense


    Ilest Kerel
    Head of State of Istkalen

  • EU

    From the Council of Ministers

    Istkalen is willing to surrender on the following conditions:

    • that no territory is annexed and our territorial integrity remains
    • that the present state is recognized as popularly supported and is allowed to remain as to hold fully democratic elections under European observation
    • that our people are allowed to remain where they are

  • EU

    From the Council of Ministers

    Istkalen surrenders unconditionally to the Kingdom of Reitzmag; however, any attempt to annex territories in Istkalen will be regarded as an act of war, and will cause retribution.

  • EU

    From the Chamber of State, approved by the Council of Ministers

    On the Position of Councillor

    As the decision was made by a body elected and operating not according to law, in contrast to the present legislative body existing in Istkalen, Anja Mauer's recall is declared illegitimate. She thus remains in her position as Councillor.


    Aykas Virs
    Elder of the Chamber of State


    Ilest Kerel
    Head of State of Istkalen

  • EU

    From the Chamber of Professions

    Several members of the Chamber of Professions have voiced opposition to the motion of the Chamber of State effectively nullifying the recall of Anja Mauer. The decision is thus reversed, temporarily. Gertrude Echteran remains the representative of Istkalen in the European Council.


    Andrus Kask
    Elder of the Chamber of Professions

  • EU

    From the Government of Istkalen

    Exercising powers under the Provisions against the Northern Hordes, the Government of Istkalen schedules elections to a Constituent Assembly, per the Constitution of 1975, on 31 May 2021. The Assembly will convene on 10 June 2021, at which point this government will be dissolved entirely. The Assembly will have, in addition to the creation of a new constitution, the responsibility of carrying out its statutes in due time.

    Ilest Kerel
    Head of State of Istkalen

  • EU

    From the Censorate of Istkalen

    The Censorate has impeached Gertrude Echteran on the charge of treason and negligence of her duties. She will stand before the High Court on these charges, as per the Constitution of 1975.

    Ursula Orlich
    Elder of the Censorate of Istkalen

  • EU

    On Sanctions

    I'm sure, of course, that you, people of Europe, would not want your energy to be more expensive. Your lamps; your computers; all of your electronics.

    Of course you wouldn't. But it would certainly be terribly unfortunate if it were; if say, almost a third of Europe's uranium were suddenly inaccessible, would it? If a fourth of Europe's tungsten were? And even a sixth of its rare-earth metals?

    It certainly would. Everything would be more expensive; your energy, your lightbulbs, and even your smartphones and your computers, all of which, we all know, are almost inseparable from us. And that would certainly be a disaster, wouldn't it?

    Ilest Kerel
    Head of State of Istkalen

  • EU


    The territory of Istkalen secedes from Istkalen. The government of the newly founded Republic of Istkalen, which is independent and unlinked with Istkalen, is that which I have made clear in the previous decrees I have made out. I am proclaimed head of state of the new Republic of Istkalen, and will be until a constitution can be written.

    The Republic of Istkalen, as a new entity, applies for membership in the European Union, which it cannot be denied.

    Ilest Kerel
    Head of State of the Republic of Istkalen

  • EU

    From the Head of State of the Republic of Istkalen

    Iras Tilkanas is appointed as Interim Councillor to the European Union for the Republic of Istkalen, which is unrelated to the former "Istkalen," by nature of being a secessionist state encompassing all of the territory of Istkalen and thus one made from nothing, until elections on the 5th of May.

    Ilest Kerel
    Head of State of the Republic of Istkalen

Log in to reply