Grassroots - the Official Newspaper of Bomballey

[Satire] High Inquisitor, Blessed May She Always Remain, Harriet Copala, Visits New Copala City in Eastern Haane

Our blessed and most glorious High Inquistor for the Inquisition on Heretical Activities has lowered herself, degraded herself, by visiting our miserable shores, simply to meet we lowly wretches, out of the great kindness and love that flows out of her blessed soul.

She visited the New Copala City, a great and glorious holy development itself sprouting, manifesting itself out of her great, inexpressible kindness on love, her glorious feet themselves, through the medium of her rich, holy, most blessed and glorious shoes touching its ground, her body itself immersed in its lowly air.

As we lowly, unholy wretches barely able to be considered humans may attempt to recreate but fail entirely at doing so what has happened in that which may or may not be the past - our memories, if they can be called at such, are far too impure and unholy - High Inquisitor Copala, blessed and glorious may she be forever, banished to hell 2,6 million demons that the previous unholy menace that we once deigned to call 'government' called 'humans.'

We forever praise her for this act, for delivering us from the terrible heresies of communism and direct democracy. She is the savior, manifested in New Copala City.

Becker, Hoebeek incriminated in corruption scandal; Comtois resigns as head of the VKP/PCU/FKP/UCP, replaced by Eva van der Bijl

Today marked a massive step forward in the trial of Andries van Hoebeek, the former Supreme Councillor of Eastern Haane, as new evidence was discovered clearly incriminating him in a massive web of blackmail and corruption, revealing sinister plans for the elimination of political opponents.

A trove of nearly 44.000 emails was discovered on Hoebeek's private server in the basement of Kiel Schloss, in which Hoebeek repeatedly threatened or bribed officials in an attempt to further his political agenda - that is, a "solidaristic capitalism," based on the works of the imperial politicians of the late 19th and early 20th century.

Perhaps more disturbingly, Hoebeek, according to the People's Court of Kiel, apparently was planning a politicide of leftists. A direct quote from him is below:

"They must be eradicated. We will be left behind, in their miasma of radicalism, if we do not get rid of them. Gas them, shoot them, hang them...it does not matter. Get rid of them, every single on [sic] of them."

Ms. Helga Becker was also complicit in this plot: a partner, not a victim of Hoebeek, she was to play a role in prepare for the coming killings, slowly deradicalizing 'innocent' Eastern Haaneans from the 'siren's call' of leftism:

"This is a little too extreme, I think," she wrote in an email to Hoebeek. "Certainly, not all of them need to be killed. Many of them can be turned with simple...prodding. It will not take much. I can convince them. Then, once I have gained their trust, you can remove the ringleaders, the demons who wished to ensnare the rest in their traps."

Ms. Becker was also found to have been working for Hoebeek as a collector of information, spying on several members of the government and relaying back incriminating information to him.

No sentence has been pronounced of yet; the People's Court is still deliberating on the punishment, stating that 'law in Eastern Haane is not punitive; it is restorative, meant to return things to the way they were; rectify things. With a crime of such graveness, it is difficult to determine such a solution as the law requires.'

In other news, Mathilde Comtois has resigned the position of the head of the United Communist Party - a left communist party that is the largest party on the left, despite not taking part in electoral politics, and was at the center of the unrest between 1980 and 1996. In a statement released today, she stated, "In my current position, I do not believe I can honestly serve the roles of the Party. Although I will remain a member of its ranks, I cannot in good conscience remain to be its head, especially when many feel that I have, in a way, betrayed it."

She has been temporarily replaced by Eva van der Bijl, who first rose to prominence as one of the few who resisted the transition of the former constituent republics to parliamentarianism between 2003 and 2005.

Hoebeek, Becker convicted; further investigation into plot underway

The trials of Andries van Hoebeek and Helga Becker ended today. Both were found guilty by the People's Court; they were sentenced to fifteen years of paid but fixed labor on the behalf of the state. Hoebeek has appealed to the Congress of People's Courts; however, Becker, in the now-likely hopes that her sentence would be reduced, made a full statement on the nature of Hoebeek's system of blackmail and bribery:

"We would recruit people, promising them payment for information and their own recruits. We really did pay them, of course; I don't know where the money came from; but we paid them. How else would we keep them in the system? If that didn't work we would blackmail theme until they gave in. Of course, it wasn't so complex with the officials. All we had to do was go to them. Then there was the cleansing. That was a quite few years into the future. We weren't prepared for it; however, we were well on the way; we had amassed quite a bit of information."

Becker had little idea of whom her informants were; however, those who were coerced into participation are being invited to come forward as to give testimony regarding those at higher levels who participated willingly and in full awareness of the portent of their actions.

All other members of the General Council have been released, the People's Court stating that no conclusive evidence has been found tying them to the plot.

The Congress of People's Courts is to hear Hoebeek's appeal on 3 July.

Hoebeek's testimony 'puts the mere existence of the described blackmail and corruption' in doubt, says Presidium of the Congress of People's Courts

Today, in an attempt to appeal the ruling of the Kiel People's Court, former Supreme Councillor Andries van Hoebeek gave testimony to the recently appointed Presidium of the Congress of People's Courts, claiming that the evidence against him had been faked.

"The people's militia in Kiel did not act as according to the law. They were extremely violent, threatening me with death on a number of occasions, caning me if I made even the slightest number of infractions. I believe such a thing happened to Ms. Becker; that she was coerced into given false testimony," Hoebeek stated in the first hour of hearings.

He was later examined, marks on his body found to match his disturbing testimony.

Hoebeek also stated that he "did not have any knowledge of private email servers being run" in his name, that "any emails that I wrote during my term either belong to a personal account hosted on servers currently managed by the Syndicate of Information Technology or the official government servers stored in the Kiel 'Opera House' [a secondary legislative building that is, when not occupied by the government, used for public performances]," and that "the emails purportedly written by me do not match the style in which I generally write."

The Presidium itself has stated that Hoebeek's testimony is "deeply disturbing," urging the government to begin reforms that would allow for "greater oversight" over the affairs of local courts, but that "at this time, we do not exactly the veracity of Hoebeek's statements - they are, until further word, are not to be taken as the full truth."

Many, however, doubt Hoebeek's claims. "He was a terrible Supreme Councillor," said a woman who wishes to remain unidentified. "He drove the economy into the ground, refused to even listen to what we, the people, had to say, and, perhaps worst of all, collaborated with those regimes which hate us for our political beliefs; those regimes that wish to eradicate us."

The Consul herself has taken a position - "While the claims certainly are disturbing, in that a nightmare or a particularly well-written horor novel is," she said in a statement this afternoon, "I cannot take Hoebeek at his word. During his term, I watched him take advantage of every single legal loophole possible in order to force his ideology on Eastern Haane. I went as far to sue him in 2018 - but the court found no wrongdoing, for there had been none, for no law had actually been violated, as the people may remember. The emails, in my mind, are not in any way strange or fantastical - they are a perfect example of what this deranged man would do if there was no limit on his power. He would go even as far to kill himself if it helped his political goals."

Mathilde Comtois, at the forefront of the revolution, however, has taken the strangest of sides. "Workers, comrades, remember that we must be fair, we must be impartial," she said in a statement today. "Hoebeek should be prosecuted, but it should not be for these trumped-up charges, which the Kiel People's Court and militia must be punished for making. He should be prosecuted for what he has truly done; what is visible to us all. He stole from you, gave your wealth away to the rich in foreign countries. For that, he should; nay, he must, pay."

Marine Marchand, one of the few remaining members of the National Front still politically active, sided with Hoebeek completely. "He was a man who served the nation, who sacrificed so much for us. He attempted to unify us, to make us stronger, to truly give us a voice. And this is how we repay him. We destroy everything that he has created, and try to drive him to insanity. We must fight, fight to make a new nation, fight to unify ourselves. We must create a new nation, a new economy, based upon a Haanean socialism, one not divisive but unifying!"

Hoebeek, Becker cleared of all charges; joint-assembly called

The full Congress of People's Courts has approved its Presidium's movement to clear former Supreme Councillor Andries van Hoebeek of all charges. In a statement released today, the Congress stated that there "had been a grave miscarriage of justice in Kiel;" that "those who the people are supposed to trust have been consumed by their emotions, have engaged in the most terrible of plots simply to enact their revenge. "

Said statement went further on to clear the Kiel People's Court of all wrongdoing - "we have found no connection between the People's Court and the falsification of evidence;" however, it suggested that action be taken to further regulate the People's Militias - "their power is too great; their nature makes it inevitable that such a terrible thing be attempted again."

The Confederation Council appears to have agreed with this sentiment, calling a joint assembly of the two legislative chambers to address the issue. The people through the syndical and national councils will create mandates through which their representatives will and must act; said mandates must be submitted by Wednesday, the date on which the joint assembly will convene.

Eva van der Bijl's statement on the UNSR election

Today, Eva van der Bijl, head of the United Communist Party, made a statement on the state of the UNSR:

"Revolution is international; the progress toward communism cannot continue if we remain pacified, isolated. We must turn our attention to the situation in other countries.

Perhaps foremost of them all is Icholasen. They have had a revolution; they are now installing socialism; but they are faltering. They are planning a return to capitalism; all of them, even the most diligent and ardent communists. See their election. Sanders, who wishes to 'collectivize' almost everything. Yet this collectivization is not a socialization - it is a nationalization, that would yet again take the labor of the workers, as is under capitalism, and place it in the hands of the state, for it to use for its own enrichment. One may say that the state is the working class; but so long as the state has autonomy from the working class, as is the case in Icholasen, it is not. Baskin is no better; she wishes to retain the market system, wishes to internationalize Icholasen; and thus wishes to re-enslave the workers; place them at the mercy of the market, force them to compete in the most unnatural of competition. The waste of capitalism and consumerism would return. The center - the ANL of Georgia Francis - is a terrifying amalgam of both. Under them, capitalism would return in its entirety.

We must stand in solidarity with our comrades in the UNSR always, never faltering, never falling."

Ms. van der Bijl has often been criticized for her extremism; many within the wider communist movement in Eastern Haane have claimed that she serves only to divide. Perhaps one of the most famous perspectives on her was given by Mathilde Comtois, in 2016:

"We have no need for such sectionalism. Communism; socialism; they are not set dogmas. They are, together, simply the abolition of capitalism in its entirety. Ms. van der Bijl does not seem to understand this; she has created a religion around it. This is no way to proceed; it will lead to disaster."

Joint-assembly meets; debate heavily skewed against further regulation

The Assembly of Nations and the Syndical Assembly convened today as a joint-assembly to discuss the possibility of further regulation on the People's Militias, following the vindication of Hoebeek and Becker by the Congress of People's Courts.

Little progress, however, appears to have been made. From what debate has already occurred, it appears that the vast majority of mandates (instructions from syndical and national councils that representatives must follow) have bound their corresponding representatives to be vehemently opposed to even the smallest attempt to legislate a solution on the issue.

Given that any possible action would have to be undertaken as a constitutional amendment, which requires a unanimous vote, it is unlikely that anything of use will come from this meeting.

Regulation rejected; 'Union of Guilds' founded

After three days of deliberation, regulation has been vehemently rejected in a vote 27 - 3 in the Syndical Assembly and 25 - 5 in the Assembly of Nations. The chambers have issued a joint statement, in which they claim that "regulation is a subversion of the constitution; it would permanently damage the confederal nature of the Haanean state," citing the first two clauses of the seventh article of the constitution, to do with the responsibilities and structure of the regions and workers' councils:

"I. The regions and workers' councils shall have a federal relationship with each other; that is, regional law shall have precedence over that of the workers' councils, but workers' councils will have the ability to legislate that which has already not been legislated on by the regional assemblies or presidiums.

II. The regions shall have all power to legislate on matters not delegated to the syndicates or nations; they shall also have the power to legislate on all matters that have not already been legislated upon by the syndicates or nations. The confederal government shall have no power to make laws of this type..."

While technically it is allowed for the assemblies to pass such legislation as constitutional amendments, as was proposed in this situation, they feel as though such a thing would be an exploitation of constitutional powers.

In other news, a 'Union of Guilds' - a new trade union for the Haanean center and right; has been founded. Members join or found a 'guild' for their profession. Each guild is to act as a mutual aid organization; in the future, they may act as extra-legal regulatory bodies. Their aim is to eventually create an economy based on workers' cooperatives, united in said guilds.

Van der Bijl expelled from party after making four-hour-long nonsensical speech

After making a bizarre speech denouncing almost every existing politician in Europe, Eva van der Bijl has been expelled from the United Communist Party. Those who made the decision - the members of the People's Council of the Party - have made the following statement:

"Ms. van der Bijl has been making increasingly sectarian statements. Rather than unifying the movement, she has worked only to divide it, attempting to create conflict between factions barely different in any way. If we were to continue to give her any voice whatsoever, the already weak communist movement, not just in Eastern Haane but throughout the world, would fall apart."

van der Bijl has not made any reactions as of now; however, many other prominent politicians in Eastern Haane have:

From Thierry de la Rocque, head of the Union of Guilds and a prominent socialist:

"Ms. van der Bijl is disconnected from reality. She appears to live in some bizarre alternate universe in which everything is black and white. This is only the latest manifestation of this way of thinking; I doubt it will be the last. She, in my opinion, needs a great amount of help."

From Annelise Bauer, head of the Ecological Assembly:

"Ms. van der Bijl has created an imaginary world. She then has conflated said world with reality, resulting in this monstrosity and many previous. I ask of her to for once see what exists and interpret conditions from that. I doubt that she will do such a thing; she will probably label me yet again as a - what was it again? - a 'brazen opportunist who wishes to destroy what has been accomplished.'"

From Katrin Weber, Premier and unofficial head of the Civic Union:

"Ms. van der Bijl has the right to express her opinion. However, she does not appear to be mentally stable; the speech that she has given was, in no short words, the output of monkeys. It was incomprehensible; parts of it were simply, literally, gibberish. How else can a speech that refers to various people as "it" and calls even the most devoted of communists 'bourgeois scum' be described?"

From Mathilde Comtois, State Elder and unofficial head of the Communist Workers' Front:

"As I have said before, this is the work of a bizarre religion that has become a cult - a religion obsessed with dogmas but not reality; one that sees only an imaginary world. I ask all to be careful; to avoid falling into such things."

Chosen examples from van der Bijl's speech are below:

"Sanders. He claims to be a communist - of course he does - but he is not. He sings the song of the siren, luring many to their deaths. What he wishes to do has nothing to do with workers and everything to do with power. He wishes himself to be a capitalist; that is the base of the thing. He wishes to, as so many others have, steal from the workers, force them to work as little more than slaves. That is his true nature. He is bourgeois scum that ought to have been eliminated from the beginning."

"Mathilde Comtois. Of course, she is a saint! She is not. She would be the destruction of everything, for she is the pied piper leading us to capitalism. We follow her gladly, gladly, away from all that is good. At the end we are locked in the mountain of neo-liberalism, for hundreds and hundreds of years. She is not insincere, of course; she is simply an idiot who has let herself be puppeteered by the capitalists."

"To fascism we go, to fascism we go! That is the anthem of Annelise Bauer. She does not want democracy; she wants all power to be in her hands. She thinks herself something high; thinks that she deserves all. She deserves nothing but the most painful death, for she has tricked so many into accepting her horrid ideas. She is the most brazen of opportunists, wishing for the destruction of all that has already been accomplished."

"Edward Firoux. It is nothing but a puppet, perhaps like Pinocchio. Wishing to be human, but lacking certain characteristics. Of course, it is much worse, for Firoux; it has no morality; for that matter, no resemblance to humans. It is a bag of rotting flesh, constructed from the body-parts of the poor who have been sacrificed to capital; a bag of rotting flesh that is dangled; that the downtrodden eat despite its smell; a bag carrying a number of diseases, all deadly; a bag that kills all that come into contact with it."

Tensions grow between Eastern Haane and indigenous government

Many in the indigenous community have begun to demand entry into the European Union of their own accord.

Under the 1899 Treaty of Flensburg, the indigenous government - the State of Haane-Keste - is entirely independent. However, under the agreement of March 18th, 2020 they are represented in the European Union as a part of Eastern Haane.

While certainly quite recent, the revolution has changed almost all of public opinion. Haaneans and Kesteans alike have begun to campaign for their own representatives, with strikes now occurring across the country.

The Presiding Citizen (Aoe-t-evaan) of the Haanean people, Iuliha Teimasenvou, has sent an ultimatum to State Elder Mathilde Comtois, stating that if nothing is done on the subject, Haane-Keste, or at least Haane, will stop honoring the 1899 Treaty and recognize Eastern Haane as an 'invader' state.

The Kesteans' "Mediator," (Vahemees), Jüri Ratas, has made no statements to do with the situation. Many within the legislature of the Kesteans have made statements condemning it; one legislator has even stated her intent to introduce a vote of no-confidence against him.

Mathilde Comtois has not made any response; however, Katrin Weber has said that she is, with the Presidium, 'considering' convening a joint-session of the legislature of Eastern Haane.

Syndical Assembly debates new structure for syndicates; amid collapse of coalition, Jüri Ratas resigns

The Syndical Assembly convened today to discuss a new structure for the syndicates. Mandates so far have been deeply divided, reflecting on the current state of Eastern Haane; however, for the most part, most have coalesced behind 2 proposals:

the "council" proposal, which would organize production by workplace and merge the syndicates and workers' councils into one organization.
the 'endeavor' proposal, which would open workplaces to public usage and organize the economy in 'endeavors' - projects created by individuals and approved by the syndicates, integrated into a wider national plan.

Proponents of the 'endeavor' system claim that it will allow for greater foreign investment while at the same time paving the way toward free association; however, many who support the councils claim that it betrays the revolutionary aspects of socialism and communism, and thus would only lead to stagnation.

They propose that their 'council' system would integrate a revolutionary outlook into the economic system, thus protecting the movement toward communism from capitalist influence while not oppressing the people. At the same time, they claim that its basis in 'popular' institutions - the workers' councils - would allow for a further expansion of democracy.

Many on the other side have attacked the 'council' proposal for being overly protectionist; however, the council-supporters themselves have said that this is a feature of the system, but that in any case, its democratic foundations would put the final word to the workers.

In other news, Jüri Ratas, the Mediator of Keste (state within the State of Haane-Keste), has resigned following the collapse of the coalition that brought him to power.

To expound, the 'Left Bloc,' the parliamentary bloc representing the interests of communism, left the coalition as a result of Ratas's inaction on the issue of representation in the European Union. Nine members of Ratas's bloc - the 'Center Bloc' - followed suit.

Ratas's government was left without a stable foundation. He had attempted to form a second coalition with the "Right Bloc" - however, this had failed, again due to his inaction on the issue of representation.

As a result Ratas resigned. A new coalition, formed of the 'Left Bloc' and the nine members of the 'Center Bloc' that left the initial coalition, has already formed a new government, with Kaja Kallas - the first legislator belonging to the "Center Bloc" to announce her decision to leave the coalition - as the new Mediator.

This marks the first time that all four of the highest offices in the independent Haanean regions have been occupied by women.

With government now silent on militia regulation, Hoebeek demands action from the European Court of Justice

With the dismissal of further regulation of the militias by a joint-assembly of the legislature, the government has in essence decided to ignore it until popular opinion changes.

Andries van Hoebeek, at the center of it all, however, thinks differently.

"There has been a grave miscarriage of justice.," he said in a statement given this morning. "Yet nothing is being done to fix the issue; it is unlikely that anything will ever be done domestically. I beg the European Court of Justice to hear the case I submitted over one month ago, so that justice may truly be done."

Many have rallied to his defense.

"We need regulation. We can't just let the workers' councils do as they wish. Revolution can be good, but if it continues after years and years, it becomes destructive, regressive," said a woman protesting on the streets of Kiel.

Others stand against him:

"The man was cleared," said a passerby taking a daily walk. "Now he is bringing up something of little consequence, as things did not go entirely his way."

Council proposal becomes law; regions renamed cantons; Assembly of Nations makes existing councils official; elections and referendums to be held on June 29

Today, the Syndical Assembly made the council-proposal law, allowing for greater integration between the various state institutions. No statement as of yet has been released; however, many have praised the decision.

In other news, the Assembly of Nations made the already-existing structure of 'national councils' - bodies similar to workers' councils but instead corresponding to 'national halls' - social facilities for citizens of the nations - law. This was essentially housekeeping; mandates were unanimously for the decision, and little debate was held.

The two Assemblies have also renamed the regions cantons in an attempt to establish a continuity between the People's Confederation and the 1918-1937, 1939-1966, 1980-1996 socialist states. This too, was largely housekeeping, as most see the name of 'region' as a remnant of the oligarch-state of 1972 - 1980/1996.

A new 'Assembly of the Cantons' has also been created. Mandates were slightly more divided on this issue; however, enough were in favor for it to have been made law quickly. There shall be one seat for each canton; it will have the ability to pass legislation on any subject that no legislation has been passed on yet, as the cantons do. Elections to it shall be held on the 29th, with the General Union of Workers, the Communist Workers' Front, the Civic Union, the Union of Guilds, the Ecological Assembly, and the Haanean Workers' Union participating.

On that same date, the following referendums, created by either the people or the Confederation Council, shall be held:

Should communism be enshrined in the Constitution as the final goal of the People's Confederation?
Should the positions of Premier and State Elder be abolished?
Should the People's Confederation be reorganized based upon the currently existing workers' councils?
Should workers' councils independent of the syndicates, nations, and/or cantons be abolished?
Should all mass organizations be allowed to nominate candidates in elections?
Should only communities be allowed to nominate candidates in elections?
Should a pluralist political system be reinstated?
Should representatives be trustees rather than delegates?
Should Eastern Haane recognize the Union of Nicoleizian Socialist Republics as the rightful government of Icholasen?
Should Eastern Haane be renamed 'Haane?'
Should Eastern Haane remain a member of the European Union?

Weber meets with Teimasenvou

Today, the Premier of the People's Confederation, Katrin Weber, met with Iuliha Teimasenvou, Presiding Citizen of the Haanean People and of the State of Haane-Keste, in an attempt to reduce tensions over the issue of the representation of native Haaneans and Kesteans in the European Council.

"We are already on much better terms," said Weber as she left the Kiel Castle. "A compromise will probably be made soon."

Teimasenvou herself was seen to be in a much brighter mood - "Our people, perhaps, will finally gain true liberation. For too long have we struggled under the heel of foreign powers; now, with many on our side, we shall prevail. I understand that the Union itself may not be amenable to the solution we may decide upon; but that is another struggle."

Kaja Kallas, Mediator of the Kestean People and of the State of Haane-Keste, however, is deeply distrustful. "The Kesteans themselves must gain their own liberation, from both the Haaneans and the 'arrivals.' We have been oppressed under two states; from both we must free ourselves. I am not making up a story; this meeting itself makes it quite clear. I was not invited; even though I am theoretically 'equal' to Teimasenvou, she is higher in reality. I do not support war between our three groups; we must learn to live together. But this is no way to accomplish what we all want - national self-determination but also unity."

Mathilde Comtois has as of now not made any comments regarding the issue. Many have criticized her for this, a prime example being Thierry de la Rocque, leader of the Union of Guilds:

"I had previously held the highest respect for Ms. Comtois. She was bold, able to stand up for the oppressed. But now, it seems, she is faltering. She has revealed herself as a chauvinist; she will not survive for much longer."

Many have echoed this belief:

"Mathilde Comtois? I supported her, but now it seems as though she is willfully ignoring an attempt at national liberation. All people need to be truly free; yet she is denying such a thing to the Haaneans and Kesteans. Weber, despite all her faults, appears to have recognized this; she would have made a far better State Elder. I will probably vote yes to abolish the Premiership and State Eldership; even if Weber is sacrificed, we will have the Confederation Council, whose members I greatly admire," said a woman shopping at a distribution warehouse in Bremen.

Another, returning from work at the university in Bielefeld, said the following:

"Mathilde Comtois has revealed herself to be a fraud. Katrin Weber is doing her job for her. If anything, this reveals that she was an opportunist. What a terrible woman!"

A petition for her recall is quickly growing in number of signatures; it requires only 100 more rto reach the level needed to initiate a referendum.

Murail, Obel disappear at the Essen Castle rock formation

Tristan Murail and Agnes Obel went missing today at their lodgings near the Essen Castle, a towering rock formation that was originally a native Haanean holy site. They were last seen exiting their temporary housing, walking as if dazed toward the formation, at about 14:00.

Little else is known about the situation; updates will be forthcoming.

Search for Murail, Obel, called off due to 'disturbances' at rock formation.

The search for Tristan Murail and Agnes Obel, who went missing at the Essen Castle earlier today, was canceled after steam was seen rising from between the formation's pinnacles.

Such a thing is a natural event, occurring between one to two times a year; however, the formation is dangerous when such a thing occurs.

"They are likely dead," said the leader of the search, who wishes to remain unnamed. "It is a very sad day for Eastern Haane."

Disappearances have been common at the Castle, native Haaneans attributing it to being the work of their 'Supreme Being.'

Murail, Obel, emerge from rock formation apparently unharmed

Tristan Murail and Agnes Obel, entirely unharmed, emerged from the Essen Castle less than five minutes ago.

Their mental state is currently unknown; they are to be transported to the hospital in Rosa-Luxemburg Stadt for further examination.

Murail leads murderous rampage through hospital in Rosa-Luxemburg Stadt

Tristan Murail seemed entirely normal as he delivered Eurovoice votes from his hospital bed in Rosa-Luxemburg Stadt. Yet just moments later, he retrieved a knife from seemingly nowhere and began to stab at the doctors around him.

According to reports just coming out of the hospital, he then proceeded to exit the room, breaking into several others to kill those inside. He took the lives of ten before leaving the building and apparently stealing a car, color blue, a sedan in the model "EHSCM-1," produced 1960, license plate 9X129V.

We alert those in Rosa-Luxemburg Stadt to be aware of this man. Know that he is in a fragile mental state, caused by whatever he had experienced within the Essen Castle.

Reports now indicate that Murail called in results during rampage

According to new reports coming from the Main Hospital in Rosa-Luxemburg Stadt, Murail in fact was called during his rampage.

Surviving doctors present in Murail's hospital room claim that he began to ululate before stabbing them, but, more importantly, that he had not taken any calls before doing so. One, who remained conscious throughout the entire massacre, claimed to have heard a phone ring, with Murail's voice reporting results as the screams of the dying echoed throughout the building.

Murail found in forest, without any memory of his actions since leaving lodgings at the Essen Castle

Tristan Murail was found in a small wood outside of Rosa-Luxemburg Stadt, naked and evidently cold. When questioned, he appeared to have no memory of what had happened since he had left his lodgings near the Essen Castle rock formation. He has been searched for weapons; none were found near him. He is now being transported yet again back to Rosa-Luxemburg Stadt, where he will be examined, confined, as to investigate his amnesia.

Agnes Obel, when questioned about what happened within the rock formation, could not answer; she claimed to have no memory of what had happened.

The local People's Court has stated that it will probably not prosecute Tristan Murail due to the circumstances around the event.