Austrian News Media

Der Standard: "The Schoolgirls" is an awful, awful opera

Yesterday, at a charity concert for Eastern Haane, the opera by the Haanean group of artists "Group 47," "The Schoolgirls," was performed. I feel very sorry for those who had to witness it, and I advise those reading never to see it, and to expunge even the slightest knowledge of it from their memory.

From the very beginning, one knows that it all went very, very wrong. The actors twirl as though they are drunk, their clothes strange in the worst possible way - grotesque, garish, ill-fitting, and and not in any way appropriate.

And the dialogue is truly atrocious. It makes absolutely no sense. While the play is in English and was written by those with a very high level of English proficiency, it reads as though it was put through an online translator multiple times. Here is an example:

"I was scared; Are you upset? I am warm, I am hot, I am hot mountains, I am sick and strong. I was afraid my heart was hurting. But I have a very dangerous fever in my muscles. Go! He turns to me."

This was sung, without any melody and rhythm at all. It sounded less like music and more like a random collection of notes with varying tempos and dynamics, all of which were entirely random. This was not modernism; that is, while lacking melody, still emotional, conveying very clearly sadness and anger, and so and so forth. This conveyed nothing that could be seen, nothing except for noise.

The accompaniment too was terrible, replete with squeaking marked in the music and random and high pitched screaming. There was no rhythm to be found here, either, nor was there any attempt even to harmonize it with the sung dialogue. It was simply a barrage of awful noise that hurt the ears of the audience.

All of this was combined with random, crazed ululations from the actors, which too were marked in the dialogue. In the middle of sentences, actors would suddenly cut off and make these bizarre noises, accompanied by intermittent screaming and the aforementioned barrage of noise.

No one could make heads or tails of the plot; everything was very random. The very ending, however, defied all comprehension. A woman, dressed in black rags and screaming in an unknown language, began to shake uncontrollably; the girl in front of her, dressed in white rags and sobbing while making vomiting noises, began to laugh uncontrollably before falling down and apparently having a seizure, during which she began to giggle, her clothes gradually coming off.

A bright white light shone on the bizarre scene, and began to turn on and off every second, creating a strobe effect. There was a loud scream from off stage; then the ushers began to attack the audience, while actors dressed in military uniforms crawled from the backstage like ants, repeatedly shouting "Copala!"

A red fluid rained down on the audience; meanwhile, the woman dressed on stage screamed loudly and terrifyingly before running. Two men dragged the girl, by her left foot, away; meanwhile, the trembling woman continued to scream, running, and then crawling, making animalistic growling sounds as foam trickled from her mouth, before climbing up a prop and madly shouting gibberish. A light shone down on her, causing her to growl again; she then appeared to spontaneously combust.

Meanwhile, the audience was furiously banging on the doors, trying to get out; the curtain closed and the doors were opened, resulting in a stampede. I have begun a petition requesting that this opera be banned from Austria; it has already garnered 15,000 signatures. We only need 35,000 more to have the petition reach the Federal Cultural Council, forcing them to write legislation addressing the issue.

Wiener Zeitung: Controversial political party re-legalization passes Federal Council of States

Political parties, banned after the 1996 restoration of democracy, may soon return to Austria. Today, after an astounding eight months of debate, legislation on the subject, given to the Federal Council of States by popular initiative nearly two years ago, has finally passed, with one of the narrowest majorities in Austrian history.

Even in the early 2000s, a significant minority were against the non-partisan system as a result of its "dilution" of the representation of political views. However, the experience with the Austrian State, which had devolved into not authoritarianism but totalitarianism as a result of the institutions created by political parties had so tarnished views of traditional liberal democracy that most Austrians were not in favor of its restoration.

However, as time went on, in all but name the partisan system was restored. Politicians remain non-partisan officially; unofficially however, most belong to various political blocs, blocs which for the majority of the history of the Federal Republic greatly influenced the appointment of the Government and the selection of presidential candidates, among other things. Eventually, the same political institutions that had resulted in the destruction of Austrian democracy in the 1960s came to exist. No destruction, however, now came to pass.

Years on, many Austrians became frustrated with the now bizarre political system, believing that it had failed near entirely in its aims, and that what few aims it did accomplish served only to obstruct democracy. Over the course of three years, a popular initiative to restore the partisan system took shape. Obstructed a countless number of times by the legal system, in the end it prevailed, and was submitted to the Federal President for assignment, with the Federal Council of States suggested. The process of assignment, usually taking less than a week, took over a year to complete, as a result of "consultation," in which the President near continuously "sought the advice" of a near countless number of institutions. In the end, a group of angered individuals petitioned the Constitutional Court to stop the President, which it in the end did, within a week of the original petition.

It is this legislation, eight months on, that has no passed. Debate was fierce, with members evenly split on the issue. A total of 89 attempted votes were held, each failing to produce a result as a result of a tie. Without any constitutional provision for this situation, debate simply had to continue.

On several occasions, amendments were drawn up - none passed. The legislation today, as such, passed entirely unamended with a shocking vote of 225 - 224, with one person abstenting.

Debate in the assembly is to begin on the 13th, as according to the timeline set by the Constitutional Court.

Wiener Zeitung: Political Party re-legalization passes

After two weeks of debate, a vote has been held on the controversial popularly-initiated legislation regarding political parties, resulting in its passage by 106 - 104.

However, the process was mired by obstruction. A legislator attempted to begin a filibuster, in which she read verbatim from a Vienna phonebook; however, she was forced to stop, after a total of three hours, by the President of the Assembly, on the grounds that it was suppressing the voicing of alternative views.

This was attempted by others several times, resulting in the President barring nearly 30 legislators from speaking whatsoever. Several have sued; no response has yet been made from the judicial system.

Others voiced their opposition in more reasonable ways. "The non-partisan system has prevented political divide. Certainly, partisan views do exist, and have influenced many aspects of our political system; however, they have not yet to Haanean levels. Given that this chamber has already experienced extreme bouts of violence, including a highly illegal impeachment vote which resulted in the sedation of several legislators and the commitment of a clerk to a mental institute, this should certainly be a worry," said a legislator amid screaming from a crazed woman in a public gallery.

The antics of some of the more crazed legislators, however, led to many changing sides. "I abhor malarkey in all its forms. " said a male legislator. "It was because of this that I was initially opposed; however, now, I can see that nothing will change; the malarkey is already here to stay."

Another legislator, Suzann Haselenhain, who voted in favor, seemed to waffle on the subject. "Well, yes, it is true that the partisanship is terrible and must be condemned, yes, yes, and it is certainly true that this could exacerbate the problem. However, we must consider that, in the course of time, that this may eventually resolve. Certainly, a condemnation of this situation must be done; however, we must continue to hope that, someday, the Austrian nation will learn a lesson."

Based on the timeline released by the Constitutional Court, the law must be signed and promulgated within three days, lest the President and Government be prosecuted.

Der Standard: Mass protests as deportations attempted; Kurz removed as Chancellor

Yesterday, many Austrians were preparing to sleep as federal forces began raids upon the homes of refugees, forcing them into cramped buses or, where not available, into the street, where they were made to stand, blocking traffic.

As the shouts and screams of those to be deported echoed through the cities of Austria, many took to the streets in an attempt to stop what they believed to be an atrocity, blocking the streets.

This continued through the night. Officials in charge of the deportations screamed at those manning the blockades in an attempt to make them move; none were successful.

As morning arrived, blockades remained in place, with traffic essentially stopped. In some places, barricades had been erected, with food being distributed among the protestors.

Acting President Pamela Rendi-Wagner denied responsibility for the attempted deportations, and claimed that it had been the work of Acting Chancellor Kurz, who today was removed from office by order of the State Council of the Ministry of the Republic. The office will likely remain unfilled until the inauguration of Werner Kogler, who is likely to appoint an individual from his own party to the position as one of his first acts in office.

An order reversing that of Kurz is to be released within the next few minutes, according to the office of the Acting President.

An investigation is ongoing.

Wiener Zeitung: Kogler submits socialization amendment

As his first act as President, Werner Kogler has submitted a pre-prepared "socialization" constitutional amendment to the Austrian legislature. The Federal Economic Council will be convened tomorrow to begin review; it is to reach a final decision by 20 November.

Given the socialist majority in the Council, it is likely that it will pass there; however, the 2/3 majority in the Assembly needed for the passage of the constitutional amendment will make the final passage of the amendment difficult, if not impossible.

The amendment abolishes the Austrian meritocratic class system used to manage the economy and replaces it with an elected system of "nested councils," in which all decisions must be approved directly by the people on a quarterly basis - the fulfillment of one of Kogler's main campaign promises - that is, the instatement of a socialist economic system in Austria.

"We cannot let this monstrosity of a system continue any longer," he said after submitting the bill. "It is a remnant of the old fascist state. Power must return to the people."

The announcement was met by wide pleasure from the population; however, small protests have sprung up in some cities, especially those that are traditionally more conservative.

"Our economy has grown in harmony with the guidance of the directing class," said a protestor. "We cannot afford to abolish it, and thus to bring all that we have, all that we have accomplished, down."

Opposition is most concentrated in Vorarlberg, one of the most conservative states of Austria. The legislature there is soon to meet as to discuss the amendment and its possible ramifications.

"We are," said a legislator, "quite concerned about what this may do to our regional economy."

In Vienna, a similar discussion is to be held; however, legislators there are much more in favor of the amendment.

"It is wonderful news! The current bureaucracy will be purged, replaced with a greatly democratic system. With less stagnation, less disconnection from the people, the economy will serve the whole much better, much, much better," said the state's governor and mayor.

Die Presse: Strange bedfellows in new "Labor Party"

Out of a seemingly unrelated number of minor parties, a new party - the Labor Party, has emerged.

On the 16th of November, the leadership of a total of nine parties made the decision to merge under the brand of one. However they managed to do so, however, is a mystery.

Of the nine parties, two are communist, rejecting the current pan-leftist "Social Democratic Workers' Party" as it apparently is too "revisionist." One appears to be a cult, distributing what has been called a "holy book," comprised entirely of the teachings of the party's leader, organized by chapter and verse.

Another is only vaguely socialist, wishing to reject "the past" and "tradition" entirely, calling for the immediate abolition of the family, repeal of indecency laws, repeal of all laws regarding drug prohibition except those limiting them to children, and the creation of what they term a "system of spontaneous labor," a form of socialism which appears to be modeled on the open-source movement.

Apart from this is a centrist party, which advocates for the creation of "guilds," which appear to be regulatory bodies, divided by trade and profession and composed of all members of said trades and professions, that will manage welfare and regulations, at the same time apparently serving as a source of capital for prospective "enterprises," which are, according to the obscure party's manifesto, to be either state-owned, small businesses, or cooperatives. Socially, it mimics the policy of the now disgraced Kurz.

Another proposes something similar; however, it also appears to be vaguely meritocratic, in that, as far as Die Presse could discern, it gave sole right of legislation over a specific area to the guild in that area. For example, economists would manage the economy, and so on and so forth. There appears to be some reference to the old system of estates; the role it plays, however, could not be clearly understood. Very little could be deduced from the bizarre manifesto of the party, which appeared to be approximating the ravings of the former President as he smeared his own feces on the walls of the Hofburg. By far, this is the most disturbing party - while apparently run by a senile and insane old man, it somehow managed to accrue a total of 4.325 votes in the last parliamentary election. Socially, it again is the same; however, it ascribes a much more powerful role to families, one that appears to have a role of power over culture and "sjidojynom," which we as of yet do not know the meaning of.

The remainder of the parties can best be described as various variations on beyond far right policies. One, for example, proposes that all who cannot trace their family lines to native-born Austrians living in the country in the year 1600 should be put to death by submersion in a bath of sulfuric acid. Another proposes mandatory lobotomies for women. Yet another states that "the immoral" should be "cast into the fire of hell." Their economic policies are yet unknown; their manifestos appear to consist solely of various screechings against imagined enemies or "immorality," many of which are directed toward each other. One party calls the other "a throng of devils, who shall thrust the Austrian nation into a black hole of immorality, turning all, all to black."

To say that this assortment of parties is eclectic is an understatement; they are no short of insane. However they will manage to cooperate for anymore than a day; nay, an hour; is unknown to all.

Wiener Zeitung: Freund resigns, replaced by "demon child of Austria"

After a series of embarrassments on the Council floor, Eugen Freund, councillor for Austria, has resigned, retiring at the age of 70.

He is to be replaced, immediately, by the four year old Anja Mauer, who gained notoriety as the "demon child of Austria" after burning down an orphanage, resulting in the deaths of 12. Ms. Mauer was elected to replace Freund for the remainder of his term in the case of his death or resignation in what has been described as a "puzzling" decision on the behalf of the Austrian people.

Ms. Mauer was contacted by Wiener Zeitung; according to her caretaker at the Vienna Center for Delinquent Children Under the Age of 10, she reacted to the resignation with "malicious glee," and was overheard expressing a desire to "destroy the Council," apparently by "pooping" on "everything."

"I will have diarrhea, diarrhea everwhere! And then I will have the matches, and I will throw them on the floor!" she exclaimed, resulting in her sedation.

"The child should be euthanized," said the caretaker afterwards. "She has no remorse; all she does is attack. I am bruised, bruised everywhere, because of her. When I was pregnant, and working in another sector, she escaped and kicked the child that I was carrying, about to be born, so many times. And he - he died! And all she did was smile, smile and giggle! She does not deserve life anymore!"

Ms. Mauer's parents, who were allowed to give her to the care of the State after the orphanage incident, have released the following statement:

"The resignation of Eugen Freund has left us deeply worried. Anja cannot be reasoned with; she is a destructive force. When she lived with us, she often cut up everything - the carpets, the furniture. She once managed to destroy the wiring, causing a fire and a building-wide outage. Her main delight, however, was in excreting over everything. She would swallow large amounts of stool softeners, which both of us need, and proceed to excrete on the walls, on the floor, on the furniture, on the houseplants, on everything. We still have not been able to get rid of the smell or the stains - or the image of the brown trickling down the walls, trickling, trickling, trickling...She also loved to play with matches and with knives. In our sleep, she castrated one of us. She also set the carpet on fire; we got rid of everything flammable in our house after that. Then she used the cooking oil. The last straws came when she destroyed one of the mechanisms of our wall-bed, causing the bed to collapse into the wall, immediately killing her grandmother, who had been nothing but kind to her, and when she ran out of the house after cutting our faces open, proceeding to burn down an orphanage. Do not let this demon come anywhere near Europolis; do not ever let her out of her room in the facility where she is kept. We should never have participated in the "Adopt a Haanean" program."

Despite these warnings, Anya is already aboard a private plane to Europolis, restrained with a straightjacket and surrounded by hardened caretakers from the institution.

Der Standard: Anja Mauer burnt at stake

Anja Mauer was today removed from Europolis, resulting in the deaths of four as well as the discovery of several rotting bodies, from which a number of body parts had been removed.

Aboard the short flight from the city-state to Vienna, she reportedly attacked her minders, leaving two with severe injuries, before being subdued with chloroform.

In Vienna, she was taken to the Center for Delinquent Children Under the Age of 10, where she was placed into a straightjacket and allowed to wake. As she screamed "demonically" as her minders attempted to tell her that she was to be given to the public. According to certain reports from the center, likely inaccurate, she then ripped through her restraints before levitating; others, however, state that she did nothing of the sort, and simply continued to scream while "writhing like a worm."

She was then carried out of the building, in a process that took 30 minutes, before being thrown to a screaming crowd that had formed outside the building.

According to horrified onlookers, the crowd then proceeded to tie her to a stake, which was then mounted atop a pile of flammable material, which was then set aflame.

"I was there, on my balcony, seeing what all the commotion outside was about," said the 95-year-old Greta Schulz. "They were screaming such nasty things - oh, such nasty, nasty things! I recall... a relatively large object moving above them. Only after did I hear it - her - scream, scream, scream, scream like the damned in hell, did I realize it was that demon-girl. But no matter how terrible she was, she did not deserve what was about to happen to her. The crowd was shrieking, moving everywhere, moving, moving, moving, a great whirlwind of color, of noise, of screaming and laughter, of all senses suddenly combined in one terrible, awful force.

Anja's screams rose above the crowd like a knife, piercing through their...their ecstasy. But they seemed unchanged, continuing in their whirlwind, continuing to spiral, spiral, spiral toward Hell. And then suddenly, they slammed her against a stake at the center of the square, and then there was quiet. It was then that a great flame rose, and then that the screaming, the chanting, the movement, began in full force. It was as though hell had come to Earth; all there seemed as though they were possessed, the terrible screaming and wailing and chanting everywhere at once. I was truly petrified, so terrible it was."

Several bystanders attempted to push their way through the crowd; many were killed, trampled upon by the mob. A total of 12 bodies, excluding the remains of Mauer herself, have been found.

The government of Vienna today stated that it would not charge any of the members of the crowd with any sort of crime in connection with the incident, resulting in widespread protest.

"Sick, sick!" said a young man who wished to remain unnamed. "Thirteen people were murdered - is that not enough to condemn these people to prison? How terrible our city must be if not!"

Wiener Zeitung: In attempt to pacify workers, economic reforms made; Wolfgang Katzian urges Czech Slavians to "strike"

After workers across the country threatened to strike following the refusal of the Vienna government to prosecute those responsible for the burning of Anja Mauer and the murder of 12 others, the Assembly has passed the constitutional amendment regarding the creation of a socialist economic system in Austria, which would turn all control over production to workers, in contrast to the previous meritocratic system. Workers will be organized by workplaces, electing councils accountable to them as to manage said workplaces, said councils electing other councils to govern over a certain geographic area, and so and so forth to the national level. Representatives will be bound to the mandate of their constituents, and will meet four times a year and in extraordinary circumstances.

The President then issued an ordinance dividing the 8 currently existing professional bodies into 20, namely, the following:

Agriculture, forestry and fishing
Mining and quarrying
Manufacturing
Electricity, gas, steam and air conditioning supply
Water and Waste Management
Construction
Wholesale, Retail, and Trade
Transportation and storage
Accommodation and food services
Information and communication
Finance and Insurance
Real estate
Liberal Professions, Sciences, Engineering, and other Technical Activities
Administrative and support services
Public administration and defence
Education
Human health and social work activities
Arts, entertainment and recreation
Other service activities
Households

This will take effect on Monday, when elections will be held to these new bodies. The President has said that the re-organization is meant "to improve economic efficiency."

The national trade confederation has not yet made a statement; however, the most vocal of those that opposed the killings of those that were killed by the mob that burnt Anja Mauer to death have largely been angered by the reforms.

"Do they seriously believe this will sway us? Twelve people were murdered, with impunity for the killers! If nothing is done, we will strike, no matter what these people try to do!" said a woman who wishes to remain unnamed.

In other news, Wolfgang Katzian, the leader of the Austrian Federation of Trade Unions, the sole legal trade union in the country, has made the following statement over a shortwave broadcast:

"The conditions in Czech Slavia, which to this day suffers under a quasi-capitalist quasi-dictatorship, are continuing to worsen. The people suffer under the oppressive boot of the bourgeoisie; they are presented, as in all other countries, a false choice, yet one that is all the more deceiving - between an old bourgeoisie and a new one, both of which equally oppressive but one of which cloaks itself in the imagery of the liberation, which it has so shamefully stolen for its own benefit.

Now, more than ever, do we implore the people of Czech Slavia to strike, to occupy their workplaces, to refuse the demands of the oppressors they have suffered under for so long. We implore them to divest the bourgeoisie of all power, to leave them squirming and blind, helpless, and to strike them down without mercy. We implore them to liberate themselves from capitalism and to establish socialism, true socialism, in their country, for the first time ever.

To the bourgeoisie of Czech Slavia: you maggots will not prevail for long. One day, you disgusting vermin shall all meet your final death, horrific. You all shall be purged from this planet, never to be seen again! You shall be gone, gone! And no one, no one shall miss you, for you were but parasites, feeding upon the produce of the people! And to you, the ringleader of all these atrocities, the bourgeois pig, the most horrible parasite of all, who has plagued her people for so long, Slavomíra Černá - you will die most horribly of all! You will be strung up by your feet as the people watch in happiness; they will enact their revenge upon you who tortured them for so long! They will torture you with hot pokers, beat you with sticks, carve bits of your body out; they shall do this until you die your deserved death! The dogs shall feed upon your lifeless, rotting body as the public watches, cheering! The remains of your body, your bones, shall be paraded all through Czech Slavia so that the liberated people, the people who you tortured and fed upon for so long, may spit on your body! You shall be thrown into sewage for a funeral; wherever your putrid remains end up shall become a public bathroom, so that your evil may be seen for what it is - disgusting and lowly!"

Many have agreed with this statement; the President of the Czech National Organization, representing the Czech diaspora in Austria, has personally approved of it.

Wiener Zeitung: General strike begins, elections boycotted, legislature left without quorum, Assembly of the Czech National Organization calls for immediate resignation of Czech Slavian government, constitutional convention

In the first general strike since those that ousted the former fascist government, an estimated 76% of Austrian workers refused to work, in protest against the refusal of the government to prosecute those involved in the burning of Anja Mauer and the murder of 12 others. An additional 10%, mostly working in industries considered essential, have essentially occupied their workplaces as to continue the provision of basic services.

Strikers are largely being kept afloat through a strike fund that has been paid into but not been used since the establishment of Austria's sole trade union in 1997.

In Vienna, many have surrounded the Hofburg, where the whole of the Austrian government convenes, shouting for "justice."

"You ********, why don't you come out! You have betrayed justice, you have betrayed the republic!" screamed a striker. "And for that, you must pay! You are not fit for your positions, you vermin!"

A public vote was held on further action; it released an ultimatum to the Austrian government, shown here:

"The people of Austria demand:

The prosecution of those that participated in the killings of Anja Mauer and 12 others.
The dissolution of the legislature of Austria as well as that of Vienna.
The immediate resignation of the Government of Vienna as well as that of Austria.
An investigation into the refusal of both Governments to prosecute those who participated in the aforementioned killings.

The Government of Austria must swiftly act upon these demands that we have made in our righteous anger, or face its destruction. The people of Austria, who stand here before you, are the sole body that gives your State its power and legitimacy; we shall as soon as we gave it take it away, so that your false Republic is destroyed and a new and true one is created."

In response, the President made the following statement from a window.

"To the citizens who are here gathered before me: your anger is true, but misplaced. Anja Mauer was given to the people; in that moment, all obligations that the State had to her, all rights that she held, were lifted. She was no more a citizen, no more even an individual - she was simply an object which had been given to the people for them to dispose of as they wished. They exercised this right legally - no one can deny that. I mourn for the twelve that died - but their deaths are not the fault of the masses but of their own. They interfered with the rights of the people, interfered with the very basis of this Republic, and thus received their fates. Nothing can be done about this, for what occurred to them was not murder but justice."

At this, a gun was fired; the President managed to escape harm.

Elsewhere, protest has not been as violent; however, the same ultimatum has been taken up by almost all, and has in a way become almost a manifesto. In some areas, there has begun a call for the abolition of landlordism, as well as the creation of a socialist or "solidarist" state - the latter being a progressive implementation of a modernized and egalitarian guild system.

The strikes, however, have had other consequences. As a result of the mass abandonment of work combined with a large number of abstentions among the minority that continued to work, the parliamentary elections planned for today are essentially invalid, leaving the Federal Economic Council entirely empty, thus leaving the Republic entirely unable to pass economic legislation, and 1/3 of the seats in the Assembly vacant. Combined with walkouts from centrists - most notably, all members of the "Our Austria" party - the Assembly has been left without quorum and thus cannot conduct business, partially paralyzing the country.

Most worryingly, this has left the President entirely unable to assume emergency powers, including those to legislate without the approval of parliament and to command the military.

In other news, the Czech National Organization, representing the Czech diaspora in Austria, has convened as to condemn the current government of Czech Slavia.

Within this condemnation, it has recommended that Czechs in Austria not travel to Czech Slavia, that they refrain from buying Czech Slavian products, and that they do all that they can to bring the "regime" in Czech Slavia to its knees.

It also calls for the Austrian government to impose strict sanctions on the country - unlikely as of now due to the inability of the legislature to conduct business, as well as the complete absence of the Federal Economic Council, and for the resignation of the current Czech Slavian government, which, it claims "is a revisionist body that is entirely unrepresentative of the people." In addition, it has stated that a "new and socialist constitution of the people" must be written for the country as to replace its current "bourgeois-democratic" one.

"The Czech-Slavian revisionists must be gotten rid of in order for true socialism to be created and thus the liberation of the people to begin," stated the Organization in an official statement. "A new state must be created, a socialist state, modeled not upon bourgeois democracy but upon the institutions of the people, on a participatory basis."

THE SOLIDARIST MANIFESTO

The Republic has fallen, fallen because it has failed to uphold the principles justice, equality, and solidarity. It is thus now the burden of the people and the people alone to again elevate them, to again construct a state that is the very expression of them, to again recreate all society in their image.

In their striving for this most high of goals, the people of Austria demand that the state be reformed to become a solely mediatory body - a body that upholds the current organic solidarity by maintaining and also forwarding the current balance.

All professions, all vocations, must themselves be organized into independent associations for the creation of norms - needed in disorganized times which allow for equals to abuse each other horrifically, allow for the worst of oppression - the upholding of labor, so trodden upon, the supplying of capital for the creative production of the worker, and for the uplifting of the worker from the position of a pawn to that of a participant in the creation and maintenance of all society. All this, so that society may function harmoniously and that the people may be free of oppression and be truly happy and fulfilled.

It is these associations that will form the societal balances, these associations that will themselves be balanced and maintained by the reborn state.

It is through them that equality and acceptance will be maintained in the comradeship, the brotherhood, the order, of labor and labor alone, the highest of all activities. Through labor, in labor, there will be no discrimination; all will be fulfilled, all will be happy, all will be free.

Yet it is also through them that the old, the young, and the infirm will be cared for, for they create a great brotherhood of unity through labor, through which all citizens of Austria may understand the plight of each other, through which all citizens of Austria may sympathize and care for each other.

In short: labor through the professional organizations shall provide and bring forth liberty, equality, justice, and solidarity; the re-organized state will organize and harmonize all.

We fight for an Austria reborn from the death it shall face soon; an Austria reborn and rejuvenated.

Der Standard: General Court attempts to force the hand of Vienna government; members of the State Council of the Ministry of the Republic arrested for treason

The General Court of the Federal Republic today exercised emergency powers as to force the Vienna city government to arrest those involved in the murder of Anja Mauer and 12 others.

"This denial of justice was and is disgusting. The law is the law; it applies to all equally, no matter whether the State believes otherwise," stated the Court's Chief Justice today as its members left the Hofburg as protestors cheered.

"Justice has won, the people rejoice!" a woman shouted.

Non-participants, largely geriatrics, stated that the event was miraculous in many ways.

"The crowd's screaming, its chanting, its shouting suddenly died down, as though a great dampener had fallen upon them all. For the first time, the birds began to sing, piercing through the silence - a great respite from the movement, from the constant chaos, from the fires that had been lit in the night, from everything. And then, the door of the Hofburg opened, the crowd slowly moving away from the building, seemingly drawn away from it. The justices slowly began to walk out, single-file. It was then that they quite suddenly stopped. The Chief Justice came to the front and spoke, shouting, almost screaming. wildly gesticulating. And yet, in a way, it was comforting - justice was done, and it seemed as though all would return to normal," said Greta Schulz, 95 years old. "After he had finished, after his great words, his statement, had ended - there came a great, thundering cry from the protestors, a cry of great happiness, a cry of sudden hope. It lasted five minutes, overwhelming all else, a great wave crashing over all, and yet at the same time one that created instead of destroyed, rallied instead of broken apart - that united all in its message of good things to come."

Despite this enthusiasm, the Vienna city and state government claims that it will not comply.

"We do not know," said the city's governor from a balcony of the Rathaus, amidst screaming from protestors, "who these people were. We will never be able to find them."

This resulted in an attempt from the crowd below to break into the building, which is ongoing.

"He and his ilk will pay for what they have done!" screamed a woman attempting to break open a window, before erratically stabbing at the air with a knife.

Others at the Hofburg, who at the time were holding a vote on whether to themselves attempting to break into the building, responded much more positively.

"The murderers have escaped; no one will ever be able to find them," said a man who wishes to remain unnamed. "Yet despite this, what has happened remains a miscarriage of justice that must never happen again. Anja Mauer did not receive the psychiatric help that she needed, and thus was driven to murder at such a young age ; those that burnt her were themselves trapped in the old fascist ideology - really, backwardness incarnate - and thus were driven into a blind and horrible rage - which should not have happened in our society, which should have rid itself of said ideology long ago."

Interestingly, this does not appear to be the opinion of the majority - most seem concerned only with the killings of the 12 who attempted to stop the burning.

"The demon deserved it," said a woman who had abstained from debate during the vote. "Burning was too good for her; she should have been slowly pulled apart, or, better, yet, eaten to death by rats. But - twelve people died. The mob was overcome with its rightful rage; in that, they lashed out, terribly and violently, at the innocent, an action which must surely be punished."

In other news, the entirety of the State Council of the Ministry of the Republic was arrested today on charges of treason. According to the militia charged with arresting the body, the Council's "wanton removal of representatives of the people on false charges," as well as "intent to dismantle republican institutions," warranted the arrest; however, there is no apparent evidence of either allegation.

No response has yet been made from any of the protestors; the General Court itself appeared to celebrate the arrest, stating that "a reactionary institution which conspires to keep in place fascist institutions is one that must immediately be removed from the Republic in its entirety," citing its previous attempts to "exacerbate power and income inequality" between the former producer and director classes as well as to "undermine judicial and legislative power" as to "concentrate power in the person of the executive, already an almost sovereign-like ruler under the Constitution."

According to the members of the state militia themselves, they have obtained evidence pointing to an attempt to assume total power over Austria by the Council, in which various republican institutions would be gradually undermined until an excuse could be made for the total suspension of the Constitution, in addition to that regarding the falsification of evidence. This evidence, according to them, will be released tomorrow morning.

"This Council, sworn to protect our democracy, has betrayed it, and would soon do more if it were not stopped. It can function no longer, for it has become an obstacle, in fact, a foe, to the Republic," stated a spokesman for the militia.

Der Standard: Environmentalists, astronomers, physicists, and many others demand sanctions on Reitzmag

As Austria transitions from a state of unrest to one of stability following the establishment of a provisional government and the official end of the general strike, a large and vocal group of people, from environmental activists to physicists, are calling for the recently appointed Staatsrat to impose sanctions on Reitzmag as a result of land reclamation, dredging in the Caspian, and their "Spacenet."

The argument that they make is as follows. According to them, dredging and land reclamation will result in releases of silt, resulting in, in short, the possible endangerment of a number of species. Especially concerning to them is what appears to be a mass dredging of the sea floor, which they believe would near totally destroy a great number of environments. At the same time, they claim that "Spacenet" will result in an increase in space debris, thus possibly contributing to a possible future affected by the Kessler syndrome, while at the same time causing light pollution despite the installation of sunshades.

A demonstration was staged in front of the building in which the Nationalversammlung is meeting.

"We will not remain silent as these monsters butcher the future!" protestors screamed. "We will not let the Reitzmic aggressor prevail!

Other slogans of the movement include "No dredging, no islands, no Spacenet!" and perhaps more worryingly "Down with the Reitzmic tortures!"

An hour into the demonstration, the President of the Nationalversammlung - the provisional head of state - Wolfgang Katzian emerged from a balcony to respond.

"The Nationalversammlung and the Staatsrat share the concerns of the Austrian people regarding the impact of a number of Reitzmic activities," he said. "We are well aware of their potentially devastating effect both on the Caspian environment and on future scientific endeavors in all manner of fields. However, we cannot at this time impose sanctions upon such a country. It has heavily invested into its military; we Austrians, who have had none since the great anti-fascist revolution of 1996, would not be able to stand against such a force. At the same time, we see no real reason to engage any other nation in these pressing times, nor can we risk a Spain-Reitzmag-esque conflict. We do not make this decision lightly: we have all shown ourselves to be strongly and consistently for social and environmental justice and progress, and in this case, cannot defend these high ideals out of necessity, for the safetyan of all Austrians."

The Federal Government, too, while not holding any power, has made a response.

"We cannot," said the Federal President Werner Kogler, "support such an action. It would be rash and dangerous; it would result in severe consequences regarding both sovereignty and stability. Our primary purpose the combined head of the Federal Republic is to safeguard its existence. If we were to move forward with such sanctions, we would essentially be committing treason."

Further demonstrations are planned to be held next week.

Der Standard: Economy reorganized, liberalized; election results

The Austrian economy continues to liberalize. The means of production are now under the control of the 28 state trade organizations, save for that of the household economy; they are to then gradually be given to private, Austrian-owned enterprises, and then, after it is certain that 75% of the economy is under the control of Austrian citizens, possibly international enterprises. However, in concert with each other and with the newly formed consumer councils, the trade organizations, comprised of the total body of workers in the industries they represent, will define wages, working conditions, power dynamics within enterprises and workplaces, benefits, price controls, and, in some cases, what is produced and in what quantity.

However, heavy industry, the civil service, the sciences, research, education, finance, insurance, commerce, social services, health, construction, mining, transport, and communication will remain entirely under joint state and worker control.

The trade organizations are listed below:

Heavy Industry
Light Industry
Artisan and Handicraft Industry
Trade Labor
Civil Service
Sciences and Research
Finance and Insurance
Business and Commerce
Community, Social, and Personal Services
Wholesale and Retail
Import and Export
Hospitality
Health
Law
Architectural Services and Planning
Surveying and Landscaping
Performing Arts, Culture, Publishing, and Sports
Agriculture, Fisheries, and Forestry
Mining and Energy
Construction
Education
Engineering
Technology
Transport
Communication
Household Economy
Other Labor 1
Other Labor 2

These trade organizations will also be responsible for electing state and federal legislatures, each equally represented, as is stated in the 1962 constitutional laws that are currently in force. They convened yesterday to do so after themselves having been elected by the people on 18 December.

The results are below:

Party	# of Seats
Communist Party	21
Social Democratic Party	34
Die PARTEI	1
Greens	7
Social Austria of the Future	2
NEOS - New Austria and Liberal Forum	11
People's Party	36

The People's Party has formed a coalition with the Social Democrats; a President and a Chancellor are to be elected tomorrow.

Wiener Zeitung: Doris Bures named Chancellor, Sebastian Kurz President in controversial vote; "draconian" sanctions on Reitzmag debated following release of "disturbing" report by committee; Katzian denies having been paid by "reactionary bourgeois pig" Miroslava Císařová

Doris Bures, member of the Nationalrat and the second representative of Community, Social, and Personal Services, has been named Chancellor following a controversial vote. A relatively unknown figure, she was chosen, according to representatives of the governing Social Democratic - People's Party coalition, due to her apparent moderateness, as well as her ability to "compromise." Her approval was almost unanimous, with support from the Communist Party, the Greens, and Social Austria, with the sole dissent being that of NEOS, which claimed that she would be a barrier to economic success in Austria.

Bures is considered a moderate within the Social Democratic Party, due to her amenability to extremely slow reform; however, she remains committed to the party's anti-capitalist and market socialist policy.

More worryingly, however, Sebastian Kurz, best known for attempting crimes against humanity earlier this year, has been elected President in a much narrower vote, which was unable to gain the support of the Social Democrats and passed with a majority of two votes, with support from NEOS, the Greens, Social Austria, and Die PARTEI, as a result of a deal regarding economic policies.

Many have protested this action, arguing that Kurz, as an individual who attempted what was essentially tantamount to genocide less than two months ago, should be arrested and perhaps even executed, despite there having been a moratorium on the death penalty since 1996.

"Evil, wicked man," said an elderly woman. "He wanted to kill over a million people simply because he did not like refugees! I do not like them, but I wouldn't go that far! How awful!"

"The man deserves death, not the Presidency," said a student. "That is the logical consequence of trying to kill almost one million people."

Beate Meinl-Reisinger, leader of NEOS and first representative for the civil service attempted to defend her actions against an enraged constituency.

"I realize that this man is not the best in terms of morality," she said earlier today at a press conference as an angered crowd screamed at her. "But we are sometimes forced to make sacrifices in the pursing of representation of the people. In order to truly represent you, my constituents, I was forced to do this. I could not vote for Katzian, I could not vote for any of the others, because they are fundamentally opposed to what you want, what you have entrusted me to do," she said.

Kurz promises a corporatist platform, in which all related to the economy, from wages to price controls, is decided based upon sectoral and mandatory collective bargaining, influenced by "family councils" - a platform almost diametrically opposed to that of Meinl-Reisinger, who supports a more laissez-faire approach to the economy.

Die PARTEI, meanwhile, has stated that the election of Kurz was a necessary step toward the reconstruction of the Linienwall. It has, however, hinted at regret for the decision.

In other news, what is perhaps the most stringent package of sanctions ever proposed in Austrian history is currently being debated in the Nationalrat.

Presented by the third representative of Education, Terezija Stoisits, after a damaging report was released by the committee tasked with preparing it, the sanctions propose a total ban on all travel to Reitzmag, save for in extenuating circumstances, in which special documents would be prepared for travel. Any attempt to travel without said documents would be a crime, punishable by two years in prison.

Austrian citizens would return to the country or face the removal of their citizenship.

All Reitzmic property in Austria would be expropriated by their corresponding trade organization; Reitzmic nationals would be deported in a timeframe of one month.

All business in Reitzmag on the behalf of Austrian businesses would be suspended; no Austrian products would be able to be distributed to or within the country with the consent of the business creating or distributing said product or products. This would, according to Stoisits, involve the blocking of Austrian websites to all IPs in Reitzmag. Any attempt of a business to do so would result in a 10.000.000 schilling fine, the dissolution of the business, and the arrest and imprisonment of those responsible for the decision for two years.

The sanctions have largely been opposed, due to worries over economic fallout and possible invasion.

"We will all die if we pass these sanctions!" screamed Wolfgang Sobotka, first representative for Education. "We have no military! They will come, they will kill us all! If the bombs will not get us, the soldiers, the starvation, and the camps will! Not a single Austrian will survive; the nation of Austria as a whole, its culture, its institutions, its everything, will be condemned to oblivion if we pass this bill! They will turn our country to dust! Do not pass it! Do not pass it! Do not support it! I beg of you, I beg of you!"

"Reitzmag is a regionally important economic power," said Meinl-Reisinger. "As an opening economy, we cannot afford to antagonize them. The threat of invasion also looms over our heads - none of us, I believe, wish to be subjected to the whims of an occupying force that may very well want to kill us all."

In other news, Wolfgang Katzian, the third representative for the civil service, has denied any connection with Miroslava Císařová, a recently imprisoned Czech politician.

"Why would I ever associate with such a reactionary bourgeois pig as this sorry excuse of a woman? She deserves to be put to death, her skin slowly peeled off her, her organs slowly taken out by the vengeful hands of the people she so wronged, as she screams in terror. She so tortured the people of Czech Slavia; the people deserve retribution. Her body without skin, without organs, will be but a blob of bloodied tissues - a horrific, ugly, disgusting thing, to be rejected by all. What she was, then, will be truly known to all! That blob of tissue, that disgusting mass of dead, rotting material, from that pig - it must be paraded around the world! Then all people will know the truth of reaction, of conservatism, of disgusting, disgusting capitalism! They will know, they will hate, and they will be filled with the spirit of revenge, which they will, they must, enact upon the mass of disgusting, rotting, putrid tissues that once was the nasty thing known as Miroslava Císařová! They will spit on her body, tear what remains of it to pieces, defecate upon it, urinate on it, vomit on it, scar it with caustic substances, defile it in all ways possible, so filled with rightful hatred and vengeance they will be! And then shall justice come around; then shall it begin, for it is then that the bloody battle against reaction, against capitalism, and its disgusting thing of a head, Miroslava Císařová, and her demonic, disgusting, greedy flesh-puppets of acolytes, shall begin! The world shall be purged of all such people, purged in the bloody revenge of the people against those who so wronged them so long, who tortured them in all types and kinds of ways for so very, very long! Their flesh shall be ripped apart, their bodies shall be tortured, contorted, destroyed, made into pathetic and disgusting things to be tossed aside into the gutter. Their terrible, disgusting and putrid remains shall be piled up in a terrible monstrosity, the representative of greedy capitalism, and that shall be destroyed by the people, destroyed, defiled, burnt until it is reduced to nothing! That place, that pile, shall become a memorial, a testament to the abuses and tortures of capitalism, and also one to the glorious revolution of the people that is to come!"

He then continued by repeatedly insulting the Socialist Republican Party in Czech Slavia before turning to the subject of Mikaela Kligenberg as he became distracted by his fantasies.

"This fate shall befall the bourgeois Socialist Republican Party, as well! They have betrayed the people, they have privatized, they have sold their country off to the highest bidder, they have divested their people of all joy! They must all be killed, they must all be murdered, by the people of Czech Slavia, who must rise up against them in bloody and glorious revolution! They must be dragged through the streets as the people pour boiling water on them, poke heated pokers deep into their bodies! They must be nailed, slowly, ever so slowly, to great crosses, and then they must be crucified! They must be made to feel pain, the greatest pain, they must scream for mercy as the people assault them in glorious fashion, with sharp knives, with hot pokers, with boiling water, with shards of glass, scream for mercy as they die slowly and painfully on the crosses of the people's labor, the people's creation! They must be stripped nude, so that they may be indecent before the public, indecent and tortured and heckled, and then castrated with rusty knives covered in salt as the people cheer, happy, joyful that their oppressors are to die painfully, are to feel the tortures that they themselves inflicted upon others for so long, happy that they have been liberated through and by their own effort, and that they for the rest of their lives, they and their children and their children's children, may live free! The bodies of those in the Socialist Republican Party, so tortured, they must then be preserved, all of them, every single one, preserved and then placed, each, into all the public bathrooms of Czech Slavia, so that the people may forever more defile the bodies of their oppressors with their bodily excretions! They must then, after one year, be paraded around the country, covered in the excretions layered upon them in the public bathrooms for a year, spat upon, by the people of Czech Slavia, so that all may celebrate, so that all may know of the true face of capitalism! Their bodies must then be torn apart and placed into the Great Heap of Revolution, where by the people's might they shall be destroyed in spectacular fashion!"

"And finally, turning to the demon of capitalism, the swine Mikaela Kligenberg - she shall suffer a fate so horrible that it cannot even be fully fathomed as of now! She shall be dragged through the streets of Inquista, tied to a car, living on the verge of death! She will be crucified, tortured with boiling water and poisons and castor oil daily until she dies, covered in her own excrement, dirty, filthy, as the people shout in joy for her death, that swine! She will scream, oh, how she will scream as she slowly, ever so slowly, perishes, excruciating pain coursing throughout her entire sorry excuse for a body, full of decadence! How she will beg for mercy as the people splash her body with boiling water, poke her with red-hot pokers, burn her with matches, stab her with shards of glass and knives! How she will despair as she uncontrollably defecates upon being fed castor oil and poisons, how she will feel so ill, so terrible, as she lives through the worst pain of her life, as she is slowly tortured and suffocated! Once she is dead, her face shall be peeled off; it shall be worn as a mask by the people, the workers of Inquista as they celebrate their liberation! Her head, without skin, reddened and seen for what it truly is, disgusting and putrid, shall then be cut off and paraded through the streets of Inquista until it is rotten, covered with mold and other fungi, rotten, blackened! It shall then be preserved in broth, then dried, and then placed in a museum for all to gawk at, for all to burn and destroy! The rest of her body shall then be hung from a cross, to again be tortured by the people. Her tissues shall be yanked out of her decadent mass one by one and be torn apart by the masses; they will be preserved in jars of broth, handed down from generation to generation as wonderful testaments to the glorious revolution which liberated the people from extreme decadence and oppression! They shall survive for so long to be daily defiled with excrement, with fire, with all manner of things! Then, after fifty years have passed, they shall be gathered in the Great Pile of Revolution, where they shall be destroyed by the might of the people!"

Wiener Zeitung: Die PARTEI/PEL affiliated basin of sentient sewage "Edward Firoux" elected European Councillor

A basin of sewage has been elected European Councillor for Austria following an intense two weeks of political debate.

Nominated by Die PARTEI and to join the PEL after going to Europolis, the sewage, which is claimed to be sentient by its managers, apparently supports the leftist ideology of autonomism.

It did not participate in any of the four official debates organized; however, it managed to win almost 84% of the vote, having maintained high popularity ratings in the previous two weeks, largely due to intense anti-Council sentiments throughout the Austrian electorate.

"Down with the corrupt Council!" screamed one of its most vocal supporters at a recent rally, summing up what was perhaps the sole reason for the election of the sewage.

What the sewage will do in the Council is as of yet unknown; most hope that it will simply remain stagnant there, torturing the "depraved" Councillors of Europe. However, it is likely that the sewage will be removed from the chamber immediately, resulting in a second election.

In this case, Die PARTEI has stated that it would not nominate another candidate, although bizarre self-nominations remain possible. A group of citizens, for example, have already claimed that they will try to run a corpse.

Wiener Zeitung: Coalitions form, dividing Nationalrat in two; Czech National Organization urges Czech citizens to "vote with meat, urine, and vinegar" in upcoming Czech Presidential elections

Two major coalitions have been announced, representing the two major ideologies in Austria - socialism, the ideology of the left, and solidarism, that of the center and right.

The socialist alliance, known as the National Front, was formed of the Communist and Social-Democratic parties, holding a mixed platform which aspires to a gradual approach toward a non-market form of socialism. It holds 55 seats in the Nationalrat, and 30 in the Bundesrat.

The solidarist alliance - the Democratic Front - was formed of the Green and People's Parties, as well as Social Austria. Its platform is primarily economic, due to disagreements over a number of social issues, especially homosexuality. It is in support of an economy comprised mostly of independent contractors, protected and united by the trade organizations. It holds 45 seats in the Nationalrat, and 22 in the Bundesrat.

The current government will remain in place, supported by both newly formed alliances.

In other news, the Czech National Organization has urged Czech citizens to attempt to spoil ballots in an attempt to "rebuild socialism" in the Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia.

Large speakers installed at the Czech border, capable of being heard up to 6 km away, are currently playing a number of messages which implore Czech citizens to resist the election with all their might:

"For the preservation of the Czech nation and democracy, vote with meat, urine, and vinegar!"

"Albína Reiserová shall sell you, all that you own, and your workplaces to the Kligenbergs for their depraved uses! You, your children, and your grandchildren shall work forever in servitude if you allow her and her thugs to come to power! Resist the election! Barricade the polling places! Destroy the polling boxes! Spoil your ballots!"

"Workers must be the masters of their trade, their workplaces, their work itself! Albína Reiserová stands against this; she wishes to steal these from you, your birthrights, and give them to thieves! Stop her terrible wishes with all your might; stand against them! Take firm control of your workplaces, of your trades, of your labor and its products! Do not let this woman, the employee of those who wish to enslave you, torture you, steal from you!"

"Destroy all ballots! Pour vinegar, pour ink into the ballot boxes! Seize your places of work; seize control over all aspects of your labor! Seize control over the state that wishes to take your birthright from you!"

These messages, among many others, were also printed or written down and attached to balloons which were then floated over the Austrian-Czech border.

All this was accompanied by the installation of extremely large signs, one of which, considered to be the most memorable, depicted Reiserová forcing the Czech people into sweatshops, over which members of the Kligenberg family stood. Inside these sweatshops were many others, sobbing as they were beaten by faceless guards.