Dyl Reviews: RL Reiserová Films
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A Glenbrooke Christmas (2020)
Rating: ☭☭☭ (out of 5)
In A Glenbrooke Christmas, an LA-based business heiress called Jessica (Reiserová) is feeling lonely and forlorn during the Christmas season. Both of Jessica's parents have been deceased since she was a young girl, and so she decides to visit her parent's old town of Gleenbrooke (a tiny fictional town somewhere in Colorado) during the holidays, so she can hear the ringing of some church bells that once brought her parents together. In a move that almost set women's rights back by a decade, Jessica just about drives a man over while she's parking in the town for the first time, and that man turns out to be the local firefighting chief. From this description, you can probably guess where this heading, and you'd be exactly right. After over an hour of slow-burning and predictable plot development, Jessica gets with the firefighter and they listen to the church bells ringing at the end of the film.
Ok, fine, there's other things that happen in the film, but virtually none of it is important. The main unresolved tension in the film is that Jessica might not be able to hear the church bells ringing since the town cannot afford the maintenance of them anymore. Jessica is loaded with cash, but she doesn't want to pay for the church bells herself (✡️), and so she helps organise a fundraiser and gets her rich friends to contribute instead (smart girl). The firefighter doesn't like this, and he also gets upset when he finds out that Jessica is rich, a secret that she's been keeping from him. According to the firefighter, rich people are just not #relatable. Even though Jessica has spent so much time with this man, and he's enjoyed every second of her company (the firefighter also has deceased parents, so they also bond over that), he just cannot look past the fact that she is rich (wouldn't be a problem for me, TBH). Thankfully, this tension gets resolved in less than 5 minutes later, after a mutual friend shows the firefighter a sketch of the town that Jessica drew - clearly showing her love for the town of Glenbrooke. It's quite contrived and doesn't make much sense, but that's what happens when the film presents a problem and has to resolve it within the last 10 minutes.
The characters are all perfect and none of them have any character flaws, except for Jessica, whose sole character flaw is that she is secretly rich (I wish that was my only flaw 🤑). Even though the characters are rather one dimensional, they still come across as personable and rootable enough for you to like them.
Despite the film's weaknesses, the film is still very cute. You want the couple to get together, and when they do - even in the super contrived way - it's adorable. There are a few good jokes made along the way, thanks to Jessica's landlord, Wyatt. It also helps that Reiserová looks stunning and that the firefighter is a Canadian stallion, and so your eyes never get too bored.
Both Reiserová and the Canadian do a pretty good job in terms of acting, which is not something that is common in Hallmark films. Reiserová especially did a pretty commendable job portraying her role, bringing her one dimensional rich girl character to life, and she makes you want to have Jessica as your own Christmas sugar mommy.
Also, the movie was filmed in Canada, not Colorado, so take that America. How about you try actually getting pretty mountains?
Three hammer and sickles out of five.
Bonus review from Goose (Czech Slavia): "I think my mom could like it"
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A Country Wedding (2015)
Rating: ☭☭ (out of 5)
A Country Wedding follows the story of small-town country gal Sarah (Reiserová) and her childhood crush, Bradley, who moved away from the small town when he was 13 years old following the death of his parents (Hallmark films seem to love killing the parents of their protagonists; Sarah's parents aren't dead yet, but we find out they live in Florida, which as we know, is death's waiting room). Before Bradley moves, he gives Sarah his mom's wedding ring and they get "married" (someone notify Emma Granger) in a farmhouse before Bradley has to depart.
Years later, Bradley is now a Grammy-winning country musician located in LA (where all the rich people live, obviously), and Sarah is still living in her childhood ranch house, taking care of sick and abandoned horses. Bradley becomes engaged to a famous actress, and upon seeing this on TV, Sarah sends a well-wishing note to Bradley's manager along with his mom's old ring. Bradly receives the note and is surprised by it, seemingly barely remembering giving Sarah the wedding ring. Bradley then decides to pay a visit his old home town (which he hasn't visited since) before he ties the knot to his fiancée. Predictably, Bradley eventually decides that LA isn't for him, and he falls in love again with Sarah, and then they get married for real.
The plot is very predictable and the outcome can be seen from several country miles away. The films charts new territory for Hallmark by actually depicting someone as the villain - the actress fiancée is a selfish and pretentious city girl who has let fame get to her head, and thus we must root against her. The problem is, as the story unfolds, there is little to root for between Sarah and Bradley. It's clear that Sarah and Bradley must get together, because they're true country folk cut from the same cloth, and the actress fiancée is just not #reltabale enough, but other than this, there is no real spark between the main characters.
Unfortunately, despite the fact that Sarah is a sweet southern gal who takes care of horses, she becomes increasingly more unlikable as the film unfolds. Virtually all of the humour in the film comes in the form of constant passive aggressive jokes that Sarah makes against city people, and she teases Bradley incessantly for becoming a rich celebrity. As we all know, "real" people know how to fish properly and wear old and dirty cowboy boots, not clean cowboy boots made in Italy. Worse yet, the more that Sarah speaks throughout the movie, you develop a sinking feeling that Sarah is a Ted Cruz supporter.
Reiserová takes on a country accent for her role as Sarah, which is cute and fun for the first 5 minutes, but then it becomes a nuisance. The accent isn't authentic and doesn't sound convincing. The film also features a country-laden soundtrack, which is very low quality and mostly features banjos being strum at random. Even as someone who enjoys some country music, it was distracting and sometimes even jarring. Bradley did deliver two musical performances, however, and they were quite acceptable.
The film is very risqué for a Hallmark production, as it features a whopping total of 3 kissing scenes, including one where Sarah kissed Bradley while he was still engaged to the famous actress (naughty)!
Disappointingly, Reiserová's performance in the film was somewhat lacking, perhaps because of the forced accent, or simply because there's only so much you can do when you're portraying a horse-girl who thought the Capitol Hill insurrection was a leftist plot. Bradley, like all country boys, is stoic and emotionless, and so in that regard his actor did a fantastic job.
The highlight of the film is when Sarah explains why Bradley belongs in the small town, telling him "Horses and dogs. White lilies. This ranch. These people." I've found myself repeating this quote all day whenever somebody asks me anything, and I simply can't help it. Iconic writing.
Two hammer and sickles out of five.
Bonus review from Goose (Czech Slavia): "Nothing happened. My grandma might like it"
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The 27-Hour Day (2021)
Rating: ☭☭☭☭ (out of 5)
New York businesswoman, podcast host and influencer Lauren (Reiserová) is a go-getting busy bee girlboss who puts her work and career before everything else. Lauren is the Queen of the Sigma Grindset, and she shares the secrets of her success on her podcast, the 27-Hour Day, which helps listeners make the most efficient use of their time.
Lauren tries to court a business opportunity with a big-time author and lifestyle influencer, which is an opportunity that then seems to be in doubt after Lauren flubs an interview with the VIP who rebukes Lauren's severely lacking work-life balance. For this reason, among others, Lauren is convinced to attend a week-long relaxation retreat to Montana. One retreat to Montana, and an hour and a fifteen minutes of this film later, Lauren becomes a changed woman who decides to put her own personal needs before her career. Lauren is ultimately offered a chance to work with the author she was originally trying to court, but she decides to turn her down. More importantly, however, Lauren finds herself a handsome man in the process.
The film centres itself around a message of personal growth and progress, and the film itself successfully manages to build a cohesive plot pointing in this direction, but it also sometimes teeters on the mundane. Most of the film follows Lauren's stay at the retreat, where viewers watch Lauren undertake various 'relaxing' activities (picking berries, painting, canoeing, baking, etc). Most of these activities are rather boring or unimportant, but Lauren's constant (and cute) flirtations and banter with the stoic retreat boy keep things interesting. Plot development and a sense of progress is only evident in the developing feelings between Lauren and her love interest, as well as Lauren's slowly changing sigma grindset.
On paper, Lauren could very easily be an unlikable character. She's an extremely ambitious girlboss with an A-type personality, and her success could easily render herself a snob. However, Lauren doesn't seem to take herself too seriously, and she keeps and open mind and an open heart to all suggestions that come her way, as well as to dedicating herself to personal growth. Lauren is fun, witty, and very rootable. We cheer her on her journey. A large part of this is also due to Reiserová's acting, which is especially superb. Reiserová really brought life and dimension to Lauren's character, and she very successfully moulded Lauren into a hero.
The love interest also went on his own journey, but it was somewhat muddled and lost in the weeds. The love interest at first did not seem to have any real personality besides being a bit flirty (although we're also told he hasn't dated anyone in many years), or have any real motivations of his own. We eventually learn that the guy dropped his dreams of becoming a veterinarian in order to instead help maintain his mom's retreat following the death of his father (a Hallmark film would simply not be a Hallmark film without at least one deceased parent). The actor does a fine job portraying his character, but his character mostly feels one note, one dimensional, and not fully fleshed out. The love interest's actor is Canadian though, so there's that.
There doesn't seem to be any real conflict in the film whatsoever, except Lauren's own personal struggles concerning her work-life balance, but a disagreement very abruptly breaks out between Lauren and her love interest 15 minutes before the film ends, which appears to be another reoccurring theme in Hallmark movies. Thankfully, this disagreement is cleared 10 minutes later after Lauren returns to New York, and the love interest spends some time playing catch with his dog and holding a vague conversation with his mom, which then suddenly prompts him to return to veterinary school at Cornell, and to pursue a relationship with Lauren.
There were some side characters in the film, but we only care about one of them: Piggy. In fact, Piggy is probably the star and highlight of the whole show. Piggy was a piglet that lived on the retreat and was cared for by the love interest. The piglet stole every scene she was in, and we all relish in each of her appearances. Unfortunately, Piggy is sold-off rather unceremoniously near the end of the film, which is heart breaking.
The film, which is supposed to take place in New York and Montana, was actually filmed in Vancouver, BC. It has quite a few stunning shots, with mountains in the back drop. The beautiful environment in the film is aided by a very pleasant soundtrack, which sounds like something about of the Sims (but in a good way).
The romance in the film isn't necessarily the strongest, even though we do get one kissing scene before the 1 hour mark. Most of the romance comes in the form of cheeky flirtation, but it will still manage to turn your cheeks red. This Hallmark film offers more than romance though, and at least offers a compelling main character with their own interesting journey, as well as a very cute pig.
Four hammer and sickles out of five.
Bonus review from Goose (Czech Slavia): "Main character was an unrelatable workaholic, but still charming. There was a cute piglet."
