IT - Inquista Today (News)

[Inquista]

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Opinion: "As Montfort Resigns, He Leaves the Lingering Death of Georgina Coldwell and a Legacy of Racism to Haunt EuroVoice"

Opinion by Lex Burnley
June 29, 2020

Peter Montfort (L) has received intense criticism throughout his tenure as EuroVoice Director, particularly from IBC President Farrah Rio (R)

EuroVoice 38 is officially in the books. After taking Europe by storm (and receiving a well-deserved 12 points from Inquista), the Nicoleizian folk group Sham Rock and their hit "Tell Me Ma" have won the latest EV contest in Neomantua, Angleter. Sham Rock's victory raises some uncertainties as to where the next contest will be hosted, and whether countries will protest the contest should the event be held in communist-controlled Icholasen.

These questions, as well as Sham Rock's victory, were quickly overshadowed by an abrupt announcement made by by EV Director Peter Montfort, who announced his resignation. His resignation announcement was then interrupted by conspiracy theorist and former European Council Speaker, John Oliver, who lambasted Inquista and Icholasen in a deranged and nonsensical speech. Oliver also continued to espouse the conspiracy theory that Georgina Coldwell was alive, and that she was in the audience.

It is neither unsurprising to see Montfort's run as EV Director end with controversy, nor it is unsurprising that it has ended with such a shameful display. This latest EV didn't need to end in a mess, but it did. This EV ended just how Montfort's EV directorship has continuously unfolded: as a mess. As Montfort resigns, he leaves the lingering death of Georgina Coldwell and a legacy of racism to haunt EuroVoice.

Georgina Coldwell was a young Inquistan girl in the audience of the EuroVoice contest that was hosted in Aachen, Aalen. Coldwell was unfortunately killed in a stampede as Aalenic guards, who were openly carrying swords, attempted to corral a riot of Inimican, Rimrothian, Duxburian, Inquistan and other upset audience members, who were sent into a frenzy by John Oliver, who hosted the EuroVoice competition.

Members of the Coldwell family, as well a her friends, attribute her tragic passing to John Oliver, who instigated the riots by goading and provoking the audience into the frenzy. IBC President Farrah Rio immediately called for Aalen to be banned from the next EuroVoice contest and requested that Peter Montfort resign, as he allowed John Oliver to host the contest. In the end, Montfort did not resign from his position, but Aalen was successfully banned from entering in the next EV contest.

Until this evening, Montfort never fully addressed Coldwell's death. For many Inquistans, her death is a painful memory and association of what is otherwise supposed to be a light-hearted and joyous competition. Despite this, the incident always seemed to be a non-issue to Montfort. Even as he momentarily addressed the incident in his resignation speech, he never fully apologized or took ownership of the incident, and instead referred to it simply as a regret. For many Inquistans, a simple apology or a simple recognition of his lack of oversight on the issue could have set the stage for a long process to heal and unify after Coldwell's death, but it never happened. Montfort could never muster enough courage or leadership to take ownership of the disaster, and he could never muster enough energy do the bare minimum.

Now, unfortunately, he's allowed for these old wounds to re-open as Oliver stormed the stage, blurted out conspiracy theories about Coldwell, and viciously attacked Inquista and Icholasen. Montfort stood paralyzed as Oliver delivered a hate-filled monologue that degraded a deceased young girl and two countries of the European Union. Oliver was eventually dragged from the stage, not after calling Montfort his "friend", before then beings savagely beaten by guards in the background.

This latest incident has been widely condemned by audiences throughout Inquista, who are embarrassed to see this strange incident unfold tonight. Montfort, in particular, has also received further personal condemnation for allowing this to happen. It is then without surprise, that many Inqusitans are also happy to see him resign this evening. Among those who are happy to see him resign are several Inqusitan EV artists, as well as IBC Preisdent Farrah Rio, who have also had other gripes with the EV Director, particularly when it comes to addressing race.

During Montfort's directorship, which has spanned most of EuroVoice history, there has only ever been one black winner under his entire tenure: Inquista's own Kane Brown. Since his historic win, Brown has played an active voice in lobbying for people of colour to be better represented in EV, which he has described as "a very white contest, where people of colour are not represented, and they often don't do very well". As President of IBC, Farrah Rio plays an integral role in shaping the selection process of Inquista's EV entries. Rio has always made it her mission to platform and represent members of Inquista's black community, and as such, Inquista has sent many black artists to the competition. "Inquista alone has probably entered about 2/3 of all black artists into EV," Rio admitted. "Inquista is the only country which has been consistent and unafraid to platform a diverse array of artists, and unfortunately, we're pretty much alone on the matter."

Inquista typically does pretty well in EuroVoice, with an average finish of around 3rd place. However, despite sending many black artists under Montfort's directorship, only Kane Brown and Lizzo have has been able to reach or better this average for Inquista. Many highly respected and talented legends, such as Rebecca Ferguson, Janelle Monáe, Nicki Minaj, Alicia Keys, as well as up-and-coming superstars such Megan Thee Stallion performed poorly in EV, despite having significant reverence in the Inquistan artistic community, which, again, typically does very well in EV. Thus, racism has been ingrained in EV. Due to the poor competition placements for black artists, countries are more likely to be afraid to enter or represent people of colour.

Hopefully the next EV Director will be able recognize and address these systemic and lingering issues of racism and racial representation, and hopefully they will be able to take better ownership of any tragedies that might happen. Whoever it will be, they will have a lot of mess to clean up, and they will have a disastrous legacy to overcome.

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[Inquista]

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Inquista Adopts A Minimum Wage Amid Strong Economic Growth in Q2

July 4, 2020

A minimum wage of ł20 will take effect starting in August

The College of Bishops has passed legislation which has, for the first time, established a minimum wage in the country. A minimum wage of ł20 per hour has been established, and will take effect across all economic sectors starting in August. The announcement of Inquista's minimum wage comes a few days after EU-wide economic data was released for the second quarter of the year, which showed continued strong economic growth for Inquista. The Treasury Secretariat has also released data which has shown that the country's unemployment rate has fallen from 3.7% to 3.5% in the second quarter, which is the lowest unemployment rate in Inquista since the early 2000's. The Inquisto continues to hold strong, as the second most valuable currency in the European Union, currently trading better than both the Duxburian Kael and the Angleteric Pound.

The Archbishop announced that it was "about time" for Inquista to adopt a minimum wage, and that "a ł20 minimum wage will help alleviate a great burden and stress placed on the shoulders of Inquista's most vulnerable and hardest working people". According to statistics of Inquista's Treasury Secretariat, only 1.7% of working Inquistans currently earn less than the new minimum wage. Inquista, which boasts an average salary of €82,767 - which is two to three times larger than average salaries in Europe's other most developed economies - has long eschewed a national minimum wage. Bishop Secretary of the Treasury and Economy, Silas Kligenberg, who is widely seen as a staunch champion of Inquista's business community, assured Inquistans that "small and medium businesses across Saint Dominico have been consulted on a minimum wage", and that he found "agreement across Inquista's business communities in support for a livable, working minimum wage."

The 1.7% of working Inquistans who are expected to benefit from this minimum wage are mostly young adults and recent immigrants, but also includes some unskilled working adults. While Inquista maintains an enormously powerful economy and high working wages, it also has a very high standard of living and skyrocketing housing prices which would otherwise make it impossible to live on less than €29,000 per year. Bishop Secretary Silas Kligenberg has stated that while he is very encouraged by Inquista's economic performance in the second quarter of the year, he is still determined to combat Inquista's other economic ailments, such as housing and rental prices. "Saint Dominico is Europe's biggest and best city, and so we have to become strategic about how we can make sure that it remains economically viable for absolutely all people."

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[Inquista]

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Silas Kligenberg Eyes Ievonuia Drug in Eastern Haane as His New Drug Empire Blossoms

July 4, 2020

Silas Kligenberg has capitalized on recent drug legalizations in Inquista

Following legislation which legalized cannabis and certain psychedelic drugs in Inquista, Bishop Secretary Silas Kligenberg quickly capitalized on the opportunity to expand his business portfolio to include businesses in the newly legalized recreational drug sectors. Kligenberg Industries has not only committed itself to opening dozens of cannabis and other recreational drug-related storefronts, but it has also entered itself into the entire drug supply chain, including the growing and harvesting of cannabis and mushrooms, as well as the manufacturing and synthesis of designer psychedelic drugs. Inquista’s entire recreational drug industry is expected to produce ł175 million in retail sales by the end of 2020. Kligenberg Industries is aiming to capture at least 23% of these retail profits.

In order to boost sales, Silas Kligenberg is now looking to sell the ievonuia drug located in Eastern Haane, which has made news headlines for the power of its psychedelic effects. The drug is known to cause intense hallucinations when consumed in concentrated amounts, which recently resulted in a Haanian man going on a killing spree. The ievonuia drug has not yet been approved by the Inquistan Drug Enforcement Control, who have been unable to obtain the drug for testing, but Bishop Secretary Kligenberg remains optimistic about the drug and its potential sales in Inquista. “This drug is absolutely nuts, and we need to have our hands on it as soon as we can,” he commented.

Bishop Secretary Kligenberg then publicly propositioned the government of Eastern Haane on his Instagram Live. “It would be a great businesses opportunity for the government of Eastern Haane to allow Kligenberg Industries to begin the commercial cultivation of ievonuia. The ievonuia drug would sell right off the walls, and we could make hundreds of millions off it alone! The government of Eastern Haane would be compensated with commercial royalties, which would greatly help develop the economy of the country. This would be such a win-win opportunity.”

Later, when asked about the natives in the area surrounding Essen Castle, who would likely oppose such a scheme, Bishop Secretary Kligenberg took to his Twitch account to state that he would “be happy to do the government’s dirty work”, and that he would “help foster the relocation of the natives” to “another really poor, undeveloped, and equally crazy place, like Malborya.”

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[Inquista]

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Edward Firoux and Gisela Stuart FINALLY Get Hitched at EXCLUSIVE Fairy Tale Wedding

Article by Kathy Vickers
July 7, 2020

ROYALS OF EUROPOLIS: Speaker Edward Firoux, 44, married former Premier Commissioner Gisela Stuart, 64, today in New Birmingham, Angleter.

A 20-year age gap and differing political views did not prevent Speaker Edward Firoux and former Premier Commissioner Gisela Stuart from falling in love. The pair originally met when Gisela Stuart joined the European Council as the Angleteric Councillor in 2015, and the two quickly fell into a relationship. Gisela Stuart went on to become the European Union's longest serving Premier Commissioner, serving from 2018 until 2019, during which time Councillor Edward Firoux also became Speaker of the European Council. As Premier Commissioner and Council Speaker, the pair became widely regarded as a political power couple and, unfortunately, became the targets of conspiracy theories and online harassment. Due to their working dynamic as Premier Commissioner and Council Speaker, as well as the ensuing harassment that followed, the two often kept their 5-year relationship, as well as their engagement, very low-profile and secretive.

Unsurprising, then, that the pair celebrated a highly exclusive wedding that shunned any and all media attention. The wedding took place in New Birmingham, Angleter, where it was celebrated outdoors in the capital's botanical gardens. The wedding ceremony was a joint Catholic-Orthodox ceremony, which was jointly officiated and performed by the Archbishop of New Birmingham and the Inquistan Orthodox Bishop of Angleter, who the couple are reportedly close acquaintances with.

GORGEOUS: Gisela's IMMACULATE wedding ring is reported to have been designed by famed Inquistan jeweler, Steven Stephenus, and it is said to be worth more than €11,000.

Sources who attended the wedding reported that Speaker Firoux wore a designer suit, uniquely created by Versace for the wedding occasion. Gisela Stuart wore a designer wedding dress, and is said to have been presented with a wedding ring designed by famed Inquistan jeweler, Steven Stephenus. Sources claimed that the wedding ceremony was “like a fairy tale out of story book”, and described it as “almost like a royal wedding”. The summer temperatures of Angleter, which tend to be quite hot, were apparently quite cooperative, which allowed the outdoor wedding to be a rather cool affair. “It was a perfect day. The botanical gardens were absolutely beautiful, and the wedding was so enchanting”, one source reported. Another source, who helped plan the wedding, stated that the wedding took “months of planning," and was “difficult to organize while maintaining secrecy from the public”.

The wedding ceremony had a very exclusive guest list, which was limited to just family, friends, and a handful of close colleagues from the European Council, European Commission, the Inquistan Orthodox Church, and leaders of the Angleter’s Social Democratic Party. Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg, who just finished her meeting with the European heads of state and government on July 6th, is said to have attended the ceremony.

The wedding ceremony was followed by a reception later in the evening, where Kate Bush and Kane Brown of EuroVoice fame gave live performances. One source reported that Kate Bush performed “Oh To Be In Love” as her opening song, which the couple slow danced to. After dancing to several songs by Kate Bush and Kane Brown, the couple finished off with one final slow dance to Kane Brown’s “Heaven”.

The newlyweds are said to be honeymooning this weekend, but the location of their honeymoon trip has not been disclosed by any sources who attended the wedding. The couple were reported to be “beaming”, and appeared to be “extremely happy and deeply in love”. The newlyweds are apparently already looking for a new home together in Europolis, and are said to also be looking to buy additional properties together in both New Birmingham and Saint Dominico.

This weeding took place after months of speculation that the couple’s relationship was on the rocks. After Speaker Firoux wrote and passed the Elected and Accountable Council Act, and Angleter withdrew its Councillors to the European Union, Gisela was said to have become upset with her fiancée. Soon after, Speaker Firoux also entered more directly than ever into Inquistan politics, where he supported country-wide protests, and campaigned to become a bishop of the Inquistan Orthodox Church in the ensuing ecclesiastical elections. Speaker Firoux was elected to the College of Bishops, where he was also very nearly elected Archbishop of Inquista, but has since been made Chief Secretary Bishop, where he acts as the Archbishop’s chief deputy. Speaker Firoux now splits his time between Europolis and Saint Dominico, which has put additional stress on the couple. One source claims that Gisela is “very supportive” of the Speaker’s busy and time-consuming international political career, and that the couple “are amazing communicators."

Documents obtained from a courthouse in New Birmingham have shown that Gisela Stuart has changed her name to Gisela Stuart Firoux, double-barreling her surname. Despite being described as a “simp” and an “emasculated feminist” by one source, Speaker Firoux has opted to keep his surname as it is.

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[Inquista]

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Inquista to Increase Defence Spending from 3% to 3.9% of GDP

July 13, 2020

General Fernandez-Velasquez and Air Marshal Copala have pushed for greater military spending

The Inquistan Orthodox Church has announced the single greatest increase in Inquistan military spending, with a new projected military budget of ł283.417 billion. The spending increase will raise Inquista's military spending to 3.9% of the national GDP, which represents an increase of 0.9% of total GDP spending. Within the Church budget, military spending will increase from 9% to 14.5%, representing an increase of 62% of budget space.

This radical rise in military spending comes at time of great strategic uncertainty for Inquista, which has lost its biggest strategic partner, Icholasen, to a communist coup. With Inquista's greatest ally turned into a rogue entity, Inquista's military command are in a panic.

Inquista's highest ranking Army General, Bishop Fernandez-Veasquez, and Air Marshal, Bishop Copala, are both part of the Secretariat of the Inquistan Orthodox Church, and are both considered very close personal allies of the Archbishop herself (the Archbishop and El General are also engaged and soon to be married). The two military commanders have pushed for substantially greater military spending since the formation of the Church's new leadership, and it has become a battle they have apparently won. The push for greater military spending also received the support of the Bishop Secretary of the Treasury and Economy, Silas Kligenberg, who has stated that the increased spending will be good for Inquista's arms and military manufacturing sectors, which Kligenberg Industries coincidentally also happens to have financial stakes in.

This is the single largest increase in Inquista's military spending, which has very steadily increased since 2013. In 2013, Inquista's military spending was only 1.5% of the national GDP. Following Inquista's involvement in freeing the Sahrawi Union from Marrakechian oppression in 2014, Inquista's military spending was increased to 2% of GDP, and it has seen a continuous increase to 3% of GDP by the end of 2019.

Bishop Lallana, the leader of the Progressive bloc within the Church, criticized the sharp increase in spending, stating that she believed that the Archbishop has "been seduced by a warmonger". Even within the Reformist bloc, there has been some dissent, particularly by Bishop Secreatry Johnson, who called the new spending "a financial and moral mistake".

Majority of the increased spending is believed to go to the Holy Inquistan Air Force. Air Marshal Copala has unveiled plans to procure hundreds of new aircraft. Of particular note, it is believed that the Air Marshal hopes to procure a whopping 230 new strategic bombers, which are known to be her favourite type of aircraft.

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[Inquista]

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Edward Firoux Donates Millions to Environmental Causes After Being Named Sexiest Man Alive

July 28, 2020

Speaker Edward Firoux's Vogue Varda cover

Speaker Edward Firoux has been named the Sexiest Foreign Man Alive for 2020 by Vogue Varda. The Speaker recently won the honour while touring in Vayinaod, campaigning on behalf of Councillor Carita Falk, who won re-election as the country's Councillor to the European Union. As part of his reward for being named Sexiest Foreign Man Alive for 2020, the Speaker won a tremendous ₭1.5 million (ł1.477 million/€2.985 million) prize, which he could then donate to any charities of his choice.

The Speaker is a well-known environmentalist, who has authored European Council bills such as the Safe and Accessible Water Act and the Ocean Protection Act. Thus, in true Firouxian fashion, he has donated all of his prize winnings to environmental causes. The Speaker donated ₭375,000 to the Arctic Alliance (an environmentalist group that seeks to preserve and protect the arctic environment around Vayinaod), ₭375,000 to Save the Reef (a charity dedicated to cleaning and protecting the Duxburian coral reefs), ₭375,000 to Friends of the Emerald (a volunteer group dedicated to cleaning and preserving the Fremetian coast from Nicoleizian junk), and ₭375,000 to Operation Ibiza Clean-Up (a charity which cleans Ibiza's littered beaches).

This is not the first time that the Speaker has been named Sexiest Man Alive by a foreign publication. The Speaker previously won a similar honour from the Matriarchy, Red Croatia's most prized fashion magazine.

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[Inquista]

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How 'Junckle' and 'Comrade Sofierce' Have Achieved a Cult Following in Inquista and Why Others Should Be Worried

Opinion by Lex Burnley
August 28, 2020

Commissioner Jean Clude Juncker (L) and Sofie Čikarová (R)

The European Commission election is now well underway, with the Commission candidates now debating each other live in Europolis. With five candidates for Premier Commissioner, and four candidates for Internal Affairs Commissioner, each candidate must battle to stand out among the crowded field. In Inquista, this is more important than ever, as it's the first time that Inquistans will vote in a Commission election themselves (historically, the Inquistan Councillor has always voted on behalf of the Inquistan people in Commission elections).

With the power in the hands of Inquistan voters, and not the Inquistan Councillor, this election is fair game to all Commission candidates. No candidates have better capitalised on this historic opportunity than Commissioner Jean Claude Juncker and Sofie Čikarová, who have both visited Inquista this week, and who both drew warm and enthusiastic receptions. Both have achieved a cult following in Inquista, with their enthusiastic supporters donning them with loving portmanteaus: Commissioner Juncker is often affectionately known as 'Junckle' (a portmanteau of 'Juncker' and 'uncle'), while Sofie Čikarová has become known as 'Comrade Sofierce' (Sofierce being a portmanteau of 'Sofie' and 'fierce').

When thinking of the Internal Affairs Office of the European Union, it is almost impossible not to think of Commissioner Juncker, who is basically synonymous with his position. In a 20-stop campaign which has allowed the Commissioner to visit virtually every European Union member state, Junckle has demonstrated a willingness to reach out to every European country and leave no member state behind (literally). This is even better demonstrated by Junckle's impressive Commission record, which includes several successful visits to a handful of different European countries, and a historic first-ever meeting of all European leaders in Europolis.

Like a trustworthy paternal-like figure, Junckle aims to prove he has open ears and an open heart to all Europeans. Junckle has shown himself to be accessible and quickly responsive in his position, and like a member of your own family, you can count on him to show up unequivocally at your side if you call him in your time of need.

What's more is Junckle's seemingly endless source of energy and enthusiasm. Junckle is indisputably one of the most active Commissioner of Internal Affairs in European history. When the Commissioner is not hosting a summit or a visit, he's keeping himself busy with his many side-projects, such as his Commission app or his proposal for an official Europe Day. It's very apparent that Junckle is not only an eager public servant and an intensely hard worker, but you can tell that he clearly loves his job, and he thoroughly enjoys being at the beck-and-call of the member states.

While Juncker's enthusiasm for European projects has ruffled many feathers, he has shown himself to be a keen compromiser and listener, as again proven by his many summits and his leader's meeting in Europolis. Unafraid to reference or not reference, Junckle often pokes fun at himself through his campaign rallies, and he openly caricatures himself through 'Junckgets', which are his transportation gadgets, such as his 'Junckbike' or his infamous 'Juncktank' float. He's unafraid to laugh at himself, and he wants to include everyone in laughter, just as he hopes to create an Internal Affairs Office which advances unity, inclusivity and mutual respect.

The enthusiastic, energetic, well-intentioned, and goofy Commissioner is likely to cruise (or in his case, warp speed) to an easy victory in Inquista. In many ways, Junckle’s probable victory in Inquista isn't unexpected or unusual, as he's aided by his current status as an incumbent, he's clearly a favourite of the European establishment, and he's received a plethora of high-ranking endorsements from across Europe, including Inquista's own European Councillor.

However, the sharp rise of Sofie Čikarová is very much unexpected and extremely unusual, especially in the Inquistan context. A political outsider who openly brands herself as anti-globalist and anti-establishments may seem very Cratican, but her proudly communist convictions and her affiliation to the PEL make her uniquely different. Despite the fact that Inquista is often invoked as the avatar of free enterprise, capitalism, and the home of Speaker Edward Firoux, the country has suddenly been consumed by Sofiemania. Thousands of her supporters flocked to her campaign rally in Saint Dominico, which took place two days ago.

Comrade Sofierce has earned her affectionate nickname through her fierce and uncompromising commitment to upend the status quo in Europolis. Her detailed policy platform includes broad measures for economic and environmental justice, and a strong devotion to protect the national sovereignty of European member states.

Bishop Karinn Lallana, who is widely considered the mother of liberation theology and leftist politics in Inquista, endorsed Comrade Sofierce on Monday. Shortly after, all other 20 members of the Progressivist bloc in the College of Bishops endorsed Comrade Sofierce. This marks the first time that Bishop Lallana, or any bishop of the Progressivist bloc, have endorsed a candidate for the European Commission. Bishop Lallana maintains that Comrade Sofierce is the real-deal, as proven by her refusal to moderate or tame her unapologetic left-wing message for the broader appeal of Europeans. Bishop Lallana and her Progressivist colleagues have now taken to Inquistan airwaves and to Inquistan media, advocating strongly on her behalf, arguing that this is the moment for change, and that Comrade Sofierce is the only candidate willing to enact those changes.

Comrade Sofierce's appeal comes not only from her strong ideological convictions, but also her compassion and kindness which seems to support her people-first persona. When 15-year old Imis streamer Simon Whitakker penned an approving op-ed in the Europolis Post, Comrade Sofierce took the time to deliver a personal response. Comrade Sofierce praised the young boy's keen interest in politics, and promised him the latest Imis DLC. Simon Whittaker, who goes by SimSimonSays on YouTube, and has over 890,000 subscribers, shared her message on his channel as well on his social media. Comrade Sofierce's response immediately went viral, with many praising her for her gentle and warm response, and for delivering a personal message to Simon. Many young Inquistans have also taken to her message of youth activism rather keenly, and have heeded to her words by campaigning for her online.

Inquistan social media has now become abuzz with pro-Sofierce activity. Simps4Sofierce is one of Inquista's busiest subreddits, and Red Rose Twitter is taking a break from dragging Speaker Firoux for caring more about Nofoagan turtles than about class conflict, to now championing Comrade Sofierce's candidacy for Premier Commissioner. Her supporters are widely perceived to be just as fierce as Comrade Sofierce herself, with many pushing for a campaign of "Sofierce or Bust". Despite using an AV voting system, Comrade Sofierce's supporters are painting her as the only opposition to Lady Angela Merkel in the country, and are demanding that supporters of Dragan Trympov abandon his ship and join their own.

This first-time instance for Inquistans to vote and participate in Commission elections presents an opportunity for Commission candidate to connect with European voters and win their support. Inquistan experts are predicting a rather low-turnout in the election, with a range between 40% and 45%, and thus every single vote will matter.

The Inquistan commission election shall take place on September 3rd, with results expected sometime on September 4th.

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[Inquista]

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Archbishop's Approval Soars After Record-High Inquisto and Record-Low Unemployment

September 13, 2020

Archbishop Kligenberg is receiving top marks on the economy, social policy and in foreign policy

Economic data released last week Monday by the European Central Bank spelled exceptionally good news for Inquista. The Inquistan economy grew sharply, becoming the first economy in Europe to reach a size of €15 trillion, and the first country to reach a GDP per capita of over €110,000. The Inquisto also grew to become the region's strongest currency, trading at approximately €2.05, which is the strongest the Inquisto has ever been in all of modern history. Data released by the Treasury Secretariat also showed that Inquista's unemployment also dropped to a historically low record of 3.2%.

Consequently, aggregate polling has shown the Archbishop's approval rating soar from 61% in August to 68% in September. The Archbishop is currently only 1% away from tying the approval rating record set by her predecessor, Archbishop Craticus, who achieved an astonishing 69% aggregate approval rating in February of 2020. The Archbishop is seen as particularly strong on the economy, with surveys all showing that more than 72% respondents approve or greatly approve her handling of the area.

While Inquista has seen consistent economic growth since 2013, the last four months especially have been marked by particularly exceptional and sharp economic growth, since Archbishop Kligenberg came to power. The Bishop Secretary of the Treasury and Economy, Silas Kligenberg, who is widely seen as an economy ace, has also been lauded on his handling of the portfolio. After the ECB's latest economic report, Bishop Secretary Silas Kligenberg boasted, as is his style, that "as long as a Kligenberg sits on Saint Dominico's throne [in the College of Bishops], then Inquista's economy shall flourish and prosper."

The Bishop Secretary admitted, however, that unemployment rates are expected to slightly rise in the upcoming months, especially as Inquista accepts more and more refugees as part of its Communist Refugee Program. As part of the program, refugees are offered a 'job guarantee', but the current intake of refugees, particularly from Eastern Haane, is likely to outpace job creation. Despite this, polling has also shown that Inquistans widely approve of the Communist Refugee Program, particularly since as recent atrocities in Eastern Haane have made front-page news in Inquista. 72% of inquistans respondents approve of greatly approve of the refugee program, up 10% since the outbreak of Eastern Haane's latest civil war, and 77% of Inquistans approve of the Archbishop's decision to not intervene in the conflict.

The Archbishop has also received strong approval ratings on her handling of social issues. The Archbishop is known to be distinctly liberal in her theological beliefs, and her successful push for gay marriage rights, among other socially liberal causes, has won the approval of 64% of Inquistans, according to surveys. Her high approval rating on social issues, however, is polarising: 31% of respondents strongly disapprove of her handling of the issues. Detractors, particularly from the Traditionalist bloc within the College of Bishops, have stated that the Archbishop has discarded traditional Orthodox values too unnecessarily and too quickly.

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[Inquista]

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Archbishop and Bishop Secretary of State to Meet With Sahrawi Supreme Councillor

September 23, 2020

Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg (L), Bishop Secretary of State Anja Emerett (C) and Supreme Councillor Nadia Ali-Sayed (R)

A meeting between Archbishop Kligenberg, Bishop Secretary Emerett, and Supreme Councillor Ali-Sayed of the Sahrawi Union is expected to take place later this Saturday, according to a media release published by the State Secretariat. The specifics of the meeting have not yet been unveiled, but it is believed that Inquista will release the Sahrawi Union as a protectorate, and will grant complete autonomy to the country. The Sahrawi Union is also expected to then announce its withdrawal from the European Union.

The announcement of the meeting follows a period of lengthy, but cordial negotiations between Inquista and the Sahrawi Union. Bishop Secretary Emerett is said to have been working towards establishing full Sahrawi autonomy from Inquista since her appointment as Bishop Secretary of State. The Bishop Secretary served as Inquista's Secretary of Immigration and Citizenship from the time of Inquista's original intervention in the Sahara, up until the Sahrawi Union was unified. The Bishop Secretary is considered a heroine among Inquista's Sahrawi population, in part due to her open-door policy towards Sahrawi refugees, before she was replaced by an anti-immigration hawk appointee made by Archbishop Craticus.

Sahrawi Inquistans are the second largest minority population in Inquista, making up approximately 3.7% of the population. Despite being less than 4% of the country's population, Sahrawi Inquistans are especially active and vocal within Inquistan politics, and they are considered strong supporters of Archbishop Kligenberg and her Reformist bloc.

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[Inquista]

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Fundamental Laws of Inquista Amended to Allow Archbishop to Formally Adopt Daughter

September 25, 2020

The College of Bishops will allow the Archbishop to become a parent despite not yet being married

The College of Bishops has approved an amendment to the Fundamental Laws of Inquista, which will allow the Archbishop to adopt her daughter, despite not yet being married. The prior rules of the Fundamental Laws stipulated that the Archbishop of the Inquistan Orthodox Church was allowed to marry and have children, but that they could not have children - included adopted children - before being married. Archbishop Kligenberg would otherwise be disqualified from holding her office as Archbishop, should she adopt her daughter before marrying her current fiancée, General Juan-Bernardo Fernandez-Velasquez.

Archbishop Kligenberg refused to speed-up her marriage, and insisted that her daughter should be able to attend her wedding as her legally-recognised daughter, which she explained in an emotional plea to the College of Bishops. The College of Bishops approved the changes unanimously, and agreed that the previous restrictions did not reflect values which would disqualify an Archbishop from office.

The Archbishop first publicly gained custody of her daughter in April, but some reports and eye-witness accounts allege that the Archbishop has maintained custody of her child since at least late March. Since taking office, the Archbishop's daughter has been living with her in the Archbishop's Palace. Her daughter has previously appeared in some of her social media posts predating 2020, but many of those posts were immediately deleted shortly after being posted.

The daughter is understood to not be the Archbishop's biological daughter (and the exact paternity of the child has not been disclosed), but it is instead said that Archbishop gained custody of her child as her godmother, following circumstances which meant that the child could not be cared for by her biological parents. The Archbishop has not disclosed much information about her daughter publicly - besides her name, Alexandra - and has uncharacteristically attempted to shield her daughter away from the media as much as possible.

Rampant speculation has followed the Archbishop's custody of the child, as well as the child's true paternity. Rumours include speculation that the child is the biological daughter of General Fernandez-Velasquez, whom he had with a previous woman, or that the daughter is the biological child of Queen Anastasia of Icholasen, who had the child after engaging in a secret affair while still married to her first husband (the Archbishop is known to be the godmother of Queen Anastasia's other children). However, the damaging rumours even include crazy theories that suggest that child is the biological daughter of the late Archbishop Craticus. The Archbishop's Palace has asked the public to refrain from speculating about the child's paternity, and has insisted that the Archbishop's daughter simply be accepted fully as her own.

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[Inquista]

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Historic Laayoune Summit Sees Sahrawi Union Released as Protectorate; Sahrawi Union Exits EU

September 26, 2020

Deal makers: Archbishop Kligenberg (L), Supreme Councillor Ali-Sayed (C) and Bishop Secretary Emerett (R)

A landmark agreement has been reached today in the Sahrawi capital city of Laayoune. The Sahrawi Union has been released as a protectorate of Inquista, and the country has been granted full autonomy over its own affairs. All Inquistan military personnel currently located in the Western Sahara will return to Inquista, and all Inquistan military bases located in the Sahrawi Union will also be closed.

The first act of the Sahrawi Union will be its immediate withdrawal from the European Union. Despite the Sahrawi Union's withdrawal from the EU, it will still maintain all existing trade agreements with Inquista, as well as visa-free travel with the Most Blessed State. Inquista is home to approximately 5 million Sahrawis, and so free travel between the two countries is seen as imperative to the deep people-to-people ties that they share.

In 2011, Inquista was invited to establish peace in the war-stricken Western Sahara upon the invitation and request of the Marrakechian government. However, in 2014, Inquistan military forces pivoted from their peace-keeping role, and instead supported the Polisario Front in their fight for national liberation, and assisted them in freeing Sahrawi lands from Marrakechian occupation. A national referendum on the independence of the Sahrawi Union was then held, overseen by neutral international observers, which led to a result which overwhelmingly favoured independence. Sine 2014, Inquista has acted as the protector of the country, and has maintained a significant military presence in the territory

The agreement today in Laayoune has been marked by celebration and festivity, as the Sahrawi Union moves towards complete and total independence. Both Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg and Bishop Secretary of State Anja Emerett were honoured in an accompanying ceremony, in which they were both presented with the Sahrawi Medal of Freedom. Bishop Secretary Anja Emerett, who is widely being credited as the architect of the agreement, has also been named 'Ukht Al-Uma', which translates to 'Sister of the Nation' in Sahrawi Arabic. Supreme Councillor Nadia Ali-Sayed delivered an impassioned speech, in which she thanked Inquista for freeing the country from foreign occupation, for creating peace and stability in the Western Sahara, and for allowing the Sahrawi Union to now flourish as an independent country.

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[Inquista]

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Archbishop Kligenberg Drops New Charity Album "You're My Haane-y" For Haanean Humanitarian Relief

September 29, 2020

You're My Haane-y is the Archbishop's tenth official studo album

Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg has sent shockwaves throughout Inquista's music scene after unexpetedly releasing an unforeseen music album today. On her personal social media accounts, the Archbishop announced her tenth official studio album, titled You're My Haane-y, which was also immediately released for streaming and digital download. The album is dedicated to the humanitarian crisis in Eastern Haane, and all proceeds from the album's streams and downloads will be donated to the Inquistan Eastern Haane Relief Fund, which will help aid humanitarian relief efforts in Eastern Haane once it becomes safe for international organizations to visit the country.

You're My Haane-y is Archbishop Kligenberg's latest studio album since her 2014 release of Only Human. Inquistans have spent the last six years eagerly anticipating the return of the country's Pop Princess, who dominated Inquista's music charts from the early 2000's to mid 2010's. What remaining hope there was for a future Mikaela Kligenberg album seemed to be dashed earlier in the year once she became Archbishop, and many assumed her musical career was all but over. Notable tracks from the new album include "Let You", "Haane-y Haane-y", "East Side", "Ievonuia State of Mind", a collaborative Spanglish ballad called "Mi Hermoso Chico" featuring Icholasen's Carlos, and a girl-power anthem "GWORLBO$$" which features Meghan Thee Stallion, Cardi B and Paloma Faith.

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[Inquista]

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College of Bishops Rejects Treaty with Reitzmag

October 14, 2020

The College of Bishops has rejected the Inquistan-Reitzmic Accord

The Inquistan-Reitzmic Accord, signed in September by Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg and Prime Minister Simon Bridges of Reitzmag, was defeated in a 13-217 vote in the College of Bishops today, meaning that the treaty has been rejected and will not be ratified. The treaty, which includes the elimination of trade barriers, provisions for free movement, channels for high-security communication, and most importantly - access to Inquista's military weapons and vehicle producers - has thus become void and nullified.

The accord, which was drafted between the Archbishop and the Prime Minister of Reitzmag while the two enjoyed a much-publicized night out in the city, was panned by bishops across all aisles of the College, but was still expected to pass despite all criticisms - until, at the last minute, it was apparently sunk by Chief Bishop Secretary Edward Firoux.

Bishop Karinn Lallana, of the Progressivist Bloc, argued that Reitzmag's recent involvement in Eastern Haane was "nothing short of a humanitarian catastrophe", and stated that Inquista could not allow a "war hawk" to buy weapons or vehicles from Inquistan military producers to "carry out more international carnage on behalf of dark-moneyed neoliberals and capitalists". Bishop Michael Cunard, the leader of the Traditionalist Bloc, also criticized the accord and asked his colleagues to vote against it.

The Archbishop's Reformist Bloc, which has a majority in the College of Bishops, and more than enough votes to ratify the treaty, became divided. Some Reformist Bishops were apprehensive of the accord from the start, especially after the European Court of Justice had already found Reitzmag guilty of breaking the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen. These apprehensions worsened after Reitzmag's intervention into Eastern Haane, but the final nail in the coffin seemed to come after the Councillor of Reitzmag voted in favour of the Ruthenish Neutrality Motion in the European Council, which Chief Bishop Secretary Firoux has characterised as a "step toward the normalization of international recognition of the UNSR".

The Chief Bishop Secretary, who initially favoured the treaty with Reitzmag, returned from Europolis and delivered disapproving remarks to the College of Bishops. "Reitzmag has now consistently, and once illegally, been shown to be open to collaborating with UNSR, doesn't share any of our views regarding the isolation of the illegitimate regime, and more consequentially, the country opposes us in the European Council on virtually every matter - our foreign policies simply don't add up. Reitzmag has its own sovereign prerogative to conduct its own foreign policy, however it's so different and divergent from Inquista's, that I'm not entirely sure how we could ever consider the country an ally, never mind also sell it military weapons."

Chief Bishop Secretary Firoux was originally seen as a keen ally of Reitzmag, but has since soured on his stance on the country following an attempt by the Reitzmic Councillor to bar him from European Council Speakership.

Archbishop Kligenberg expressed "regret" over the failure of her agreement to be ratified. The Archbishop, along with Bishop Secretary Silas Kligenberg, and 11 other bishops, were the only votes for the treaty. Bishop Sectary Silas Kligenberg, whose own military manufacturing businesses stood to benefit from the treaty, argued that the accord would have been economically beneficial to the country. The Archbishop, meanwhile, praised Prime Minister Simon Bridges as "a good guy who's not the monster that people make him out to be."

The Archbishop however was very quick to look for a replacement ally, and has now turned to Spain. The Archbishop departed Saint Dominico later this afternoon and is expected to meet with the Spanish President in Madrid, where she will hope to score a new agreement there.

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[Inquista]

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El General Caught CHEATING On Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg with Secret SPANISH MISTRESS

Article by Kathy Vickers

AN AFFAIR EXPOSED: General Juan-Bernardo Fernandez-Velasquez Caught Red Handed

Visitors at Talamanca beach in Ibiza, Spain, have just now reportedly captured extremely intimate pictures between General Juan-Bernardo Fernandez-Velasquez and a woman believed to be Corinna zu Sayn-Wittgenstein-Sayn, who has recently been living under the pseudonym 'Renata' since her exposed affair with King Juan Carlos of Spain.

Beachgoers are said to have taken notice of the General, whose physique and arms of steel are said to be a crowd pleaser among those visiting the beach. However, several members of the public have noticed the General getting snuggly and hands-on with a woman, who bares little to no resemblance to his fiancée, Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg. Upon further inspection, the woman appears to be Corinna zu Sayn-Wittgenstein-Sayn, who is the same woman who had an intimate affair with King Juan Carlos of Spain, which recently erupted in scandal.

Corinna, who has been living undercover as 'Renata' since exposing her affair with the former King of Spain, was easily identified by those at the beach, which prompted them to photograph her affectionate closeness with the General and submit those photos to Inquista Today. Further investigation by Inquista Today reveals that Corinna has been very active in commenting on the General's social media posts, often posting very suggestive and flirtatious messages.

According to eye-witnesses, Corinna seemed to kiss General Fernandez-Velasquez several times on the cheek, which were not reciprocated, but nor were they said to be rejected. Eye-witnesses also further report that the couple were seen holding one another, and Corinna was also found sitting on his lap.

The General is currently engaged to Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg, who travelled with him to Spain to attend a state visit with the Spanish President. The Archbishop is believed to be discussing state affairs with the Spanish President as this scandal unfolds live.

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[Inquista]

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Archbishop Kligenberg Mourns on National Television Following Resignation of Czech PM

December 3, 2020

The Archbishop appeared to be distraught when reacting to the news

Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg appeared on IBC News this evening, where she broke down crying when asked about her thoughts on the resignation of Czech Prime Minister Slavomíra Černá. Footage of the one-minute segment has since been widely shared online. In the interview, the Archbishop laments about seeing her international counterpart resign, stating that "I love what we had", before adding that she "feels numb" about her resignation.

It is reported that the Archbishop and the Czech Prime Minister struck a close personal friendship during the Prime Minister's visit to Saint Dominico in October. The state visit, as well as the Archbishop's apparent fondness of the Czech Prime Minister, has received criticism within Inquista, particularly from Inquista's burgeoning Czech community, who hold especially bitter sentiments towards the dominating ideology of the Czech government. Nonetheless, the Archbishop appeared to be undeterred by these criticisms, and is said to have personally asked Speaker Edward Firoux to oppose the recently proposed sanctions against Czech Slavia in the European Council.

According to insider political sources, the Archbishop was also asked by the Czech Prime Minister to remove Czech Slavia from Inqusita's Communist Refugee Program, which the Archbishop and the Inquistan Orthodox Church implemented earlier in June. The Archbishop rebuffed this pressure, but soon after the state visit between the Prime Minister and the Archbishop, Inquista eliminated all tariffs on all natural resources, ores and metals imported from Czech Slavia. The Secretariat for the Treasury and Economy also released two subsequent statements, with the first statement promoting further trade with Czech Slavia, calling for Inquistan companies and entrepreneurs to make use of the eliminated tariffs, and the second statement which praised "the stability" of the Czech economy, and reassured investors that Czech Slavia was a "reliable trade partner". The eliminated tariffs and subsequent statements were criticised by bishops of the Traditionalist bloc, with Bishop Michael Cunard criticising the Archbishop and her government for being "morally bankrupt" for their "willingness to do business with just about anyone".

Much like Czech Slavia, Inquista experienced mass protesters earlier in the year. The Inquistan protests eventually culminated in fresh elections that saw Archbishop Kligenberg and her Reformist bloc rise to power. The ripples of change, which have profoundly impacted Inquista this year, as well as many other European countries, now seems to be sweeping Czech Slavia. The Inquistan Orthodox Church has made no comments on the recent protests in Czech Slavia.

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[Inquista]

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Edward Firoux: The Man Behind Europolis

Examining the Legacy of Europe's Outgoing Speaker

January 20th, 2021
Profile by Ezra Archer

It’s official. Speaker Edward Firoux has officially stepped down as the Chairperson of the European Progressive Alliance, handing the reigns of the eurogroup to Councillor Poppy Carlton-Romanov of Icholasen, who will take over as interim Chairperson until a new Chairperson of the eurogroup is elected. The announcement was made at an EPA event in Europolis, where the Speaker delivered his parting remarks to the eurogroup's faithful. Speaker Firoux has also called an election for a new Council Speaker, and has announced that he will step down as Inquista’s Councillor to the European Union once a new Council Speaker has been elected. Speaker Firoux is now quickly shifting his remaining political responsibilities from Europolis to Saint Dominico.

A European Councillor since 2013, and Chairman of the European Progressive Alliance since 2015, Speaker Firoux is the longest-serving European Councillor in European history, and has served as the leader of the most successful eurogroup in European history. The Speaker's shift from European to Inquistan politics will more than likely be met with intensely partisan and mixed reactions. When Firoux eventually vacates his European offices, the Speaker will leave behind both a void and a legacy.

For better or worse, Firoux has become the face and avatar of the European Council, and the name 'Firoux' has become synonymous with Europolis (a handsome face, some might say). This association has often, especially in recent years, made the Speaker the target of frequent attacks and criticisms. The Speaker has increasingly embraced the mantle of his reputation - whether it be positive or negative - and, when recently asked to comment on his ability to divide opinions, the Speaker remarked that "I say a lot, I do a lot, I act a lot, and ultimately, that’s what happens when you've passed the most legislation in the European Council. You are bound to divide opinions. It’s also what happens when you’re unafraid to legislate and be vocal voice on sensitive issues, and are also willing to call out and challenge nonsense."

Speaker Firoux has authored or co-authored 11 pieces of legislation which still remain part of the European Union's Acquis Communautaire, has passed 5 amendments to the Constitution of the European Union, and has passed 9 amendments to existing laws or other successful miscellaneous motions. The Speaker has successfully written and passed more legislation than any other European Councillor by quite a distance, and has currently authored or co-authored more legislation than all of his current incumbent Council colleagues combined in their entirety. Thus, when the Speaker talks of acting and not just talking, he means it. However, as the Speaker himself recognises, it's not his keenness to legislate that divides opinion, it's what he decides to legislates on: the Speaker isn't afraid to legislate on sensitive issues.

The Speaker's own authorship and legislative record tends to focus on three primary things: human rights, environmental justice, and a stronger European Union. He has authored or co-authored legislation concerning gay marriage rights, expanded rights for the disabled, an expanded and enforceable Declaration of Human Rights in the European Constitution, a ban on capital punishment and torture, internet neutrality, the right to clean and safe drinking water, clean ocean protections, the European Health Organization, anti-corruption and anti-bribery regulations within the European Council, Council procedure regulations, major reforms to the European Commission, and other pieces of miscellaneous legislation, such as the European Order of Merit. While aspects of this record have certainly been controversial, especially his efforts for equal marriage rights and the ban on capital punishment, his most controversial pieces of legislation include his efforts to sustain a democratically-elected European Council, and his now-repealed effort to place a European-wide moratorium on nuclear weapons production.

For some, the Speaker's legislative work has divulged too much power away from the member states, and has centralised and transferred too much of that power to Europolis. Conversely, and sometimes paradoxically, the Speaker has garnered criticisms within the more progressive and activist circles of the European Union, who allege that the EPA leader is ‘too centrist’. The Speaker has generally shrugged off these latter claims, pointing to his legislative record, in which you'd likely be hard-pressed to find a councillor with a more accomplished record in terms of progressive pieces of legislation actually written and passed, and in terms of environmental justice and human rights, the Speaker's legislative record is almost unmatched (no other Councillor has proposed anything on environmental issues other than Firoux since 2014). The Speaker himself pins these criticisms on the fact that he has purposely worked to cultivate an image as a coalition-builder and pragmatist, which he believes has benefited him in building broad cross-partisan support to pass meaningful pieces of legislation, and to grow a large big-tent eurogroup, both of which he has successfully done.

The Speaker’s attitude towards centralizing power in Europolis has, however, been a story of continuous evolution. When Firoux first entered the European Council in 2013, he quickly established himself as a bipartisan legislator who has been willing to collaborate and compromise on many issues, despite his particularly progressive leanings, with a goal-oriented mindset of “achieving somethings, which are better than achieving nothings". Firoux, who previously served as the ambassador of Inquista to Halsberg, was once described by the Councillor of Halsberg as the “compromiser-in-chief”. However, as the topic of nuclear proliferation came to forefront of European politics, Firoux became frustrated with continuous empty promises made by Europe's largest nuclear powers. Firoux then worked to pass his now-infamous moratorium on nuclear weapons production, which then sparked outrage from Europe's superpowers and nuclear-ambitious nations. Firoux later agreed to not campaign against or vocally oppose a repeal of the moratorium (although he still voted against its repeal), as long as nuclear states promised to finally make good on their intention to scale back their nuclear arsenals. The nuclear states agreed to a meeting, which then never properly materialized. Consequently, nuclear proliferation has since increased exponentially, and there are now more nuclear-armed states in the European Union than ever before. Since this renege, Firoux became noticeably imprinted with the idea that the European Union’s member states regularly fail to make key agreements or compromises outside of Europolis-led frameworks.

By 2015, Firoux cultivated a broad alliance of pro-European partisans, and united them under the European Progressive Alliance. Even in its early days, the EPA experienced great success in Commission elections, where their Chairperson's political and electoral shrewdness always lent itself well to his eurogroup. After pulling a string of back-to-back successes in Commission elections, the EPA was confronted by the then-burgeoning European Liberals, who attempted the block the confirmations of successfully elected EPA Commissioners. In a dramatic confirmation hearing, the Chairman of the European Liberals launched into a furious tirade against Eilidh Whiteford's Commissioners, who then all rejected taking up their offices en masse (including the then Premier-elect), and the councillors of their countries of origin, including Firoux, all took a hiatus from their work in Europolis.

During this hiatus, the European Liberals, and what remained of other councillors, embarked on a mass repeals of various human rights legislation, environmental protections (including the first Ocean Protection Act), and the repeal on European-wide marijuana legalization that has since become mythologised, among other things. After this swift wave of repeal motions, the European Union as a whole quickly fell into disarray, the European Council quickly ceased to operate or meet, the majority of European institutions ceased to function entirely, and virtually all multilateralism disintegrated as countries turned inward. This period is sometimes referred to as the Dark Age of the European Union, where activity in European international affairs came to a screeching halt.

After some time, Firoux and some his colleagues eventually took up their councillorship duties again. However, substantial damage had already been done to the European Union, and to Europe as a whole, which only further solidified Firoux’s strong beliefs that Europe truly needed Europolis in order to make progress as a united community, and that the European Council was the most effective vehicle for multilateralism. Firoux emerged from his sabbatical by pivoting to an even more pro-European tone, and he set his eyes on harnessing the role of Council Speakership to help rebuild the internal politics of Europolis. Despite continuous displays of bad faith, and no apologies or apparent feelings of remorse from the European Liberals, Firoux championed for his now-wife, Gisela Stuart, a member of the European Liberals, to become Premier, and to work together to rebuild the European Union. Firoux eventually became Speaker of the European Union in 2019, and upon his election, he became the first ever left-of-centre and pro-European Speaker in European Council history.

Naturally, the Speaker has sought to channel his enthusiasm to legislate and debate issues at the European-level. He also sought to inspire the same enthusiasm in other councillors, and sought to build their trust in an active Europolis. Thus, the Speaker’s approach to his office has been markedly different than those of his predecessors. Speaker Firoux has been very hands-on in his approach to his duties, often meeting one-on-one with his colleagues to discuss their Council proposals, to offer his own advice on their proposals before they make them, offer his own legislative edits, and to offer his own honest feedback on proposals. A large majority of legislation proposed under the Speaker’s term has come to his office desk before reaching the European Council, and a very few ideas make it onto the Council floor without being presented first to the Speaker personally. The Speaker has always been willing to give his advice and feedback to Councillors, and he has taken it upon himself to mentor many of them.

Some Councillors look to the Speaker for feedback and mentorship not because of his authority – being Speaker actually grants him a limited set of powers – but, as the Council’s most senior member, and its most active legislator, he’s established a demonstrative record of getting things done, especially in writing legislation. The Speaker, likewise, has been keen to offer his mentorship, so as to build an effective European Council. The Speaker’s allyship has transcended beyond the eurogroup that he leads, and has been extended across the political aisle to other eurogroups, and especially to non-affiliated and independent councillors, whom the Speaker has collaborated with to co-author legislation on several occasions. It’s unsurprising then, that during the Speaker’s tenure, 16 separate pieces of legislation have been added to the Acquis Communautaire, several Constituional amendments have been passed, and countless far-reaching other motions have been passed in the European Council. On two separate occasions, the European Council has made history in recent times, where the Council debated 5 separate pieces of legislation at once, which is also a new record.

More legislation has been passed in 2019 and 2020 than between 2018 and 2012. 2020 alone accounts for more legislation passed than the previous 7 years altogether. The period between 2011 and 2013 had previously been known as a Golden Age of the European Union, with an active and robust European Council, and a strong European Commission. The European Council has in the last year alone superseded the levels of productivity of the Golden Age era, with Firoux’s European Council smashing through their record numbers of legislation with an exponentially higher new record. If the 2011-2013 era was considered the Golden Age, then Speaker Firoux’s tenure has perhaps overseen the Diamond Age of the European Council, which would be quite the feat in of itself, considering the fact that the European Council was essentially a dead institution only two years ago.

The European Council has not only passed a voluminous amount of legislation, but a lot of the legislation has been quite transformational, further expanding upon the EU’s institutions, strengthening human rights, environmental protections, and strengthening the values of the European Union itself, particularly in the face of sweeping discontent across the European Union. Naturally, these changes have not been without strong criticisms and deep worries of an ever-strong Europolis, and the Speaker’s enthusiasm to codify “European values” – a buzzword for democratic decision-making and a compressive view of human rights – into European institutions, has attracted a lot of recent criticism, even from his own eurogroup. When the Speaker is criticized for diverting too much power into Europolis, this is often where the criticisms lie. This is best exemplified by the Elected and Accountable Council Act, which the Speaker authored, passed and his since staunchly defended. The Act requires member states to hold elections to elect their European Council representatives.

Even perhaps more heavy-handedly, the European Council has in recent times issued the first ever Council-backed military intervention into another country, followed by a successful deployment of the European Relief Force. Both missions ended in relatively rapid success, a far-cry from the military intervention in Dromund Kass, for example, done outside of the framework of the EU bodies, and is still ongoing today.

As for the European Progressive Alliance, the eurogroup will have to, for the first time, exist in a post-Firoux Europolis. The EPA is as strong as ever, with more members than any other eurogroup, a series of Commission election-shutouts under its election belt, and seemingly unshakable bonds of unity and loyalty keeping the eurogroup steadfastly intact. Maintaining such eurogroup unity, despite the diversity of opinions, has been no easy feat, and Firoux’s successor will have their hands full with keeping their broad caucus of colleagues on the same page. Likewise, the EPA’s domination of European institutions will be under threat. After 2020’s final Commission election, Firoux indicated that he would no longer work to campaign for or elect EPA Commissioners, including in this upcoming Commissioner election. Previously, Firoux has played a central and integral part of the eurogroup’s strong campaign machine, with Firoux himself working as the campaign chair of many election campaigns undertaken by EPA commission candidates. The upcoming Commission election will be the EPA’s first test to see if it will sink or swim without its former eurogroup chairperson.

Thus, as the Speaker now reaches his retirement from European politics, he leaves Europe at a cross-roads. Europolis shall lose its most experienced public servant, its most experienced legislator, one of the European Union’s most fervent supporters, and it shall lose an unyielding European patriot. The European Council, and European Union as whole, is stronger than ever, with stronger institutions, with more European laws and regulations, and with commitments to ‘European values’ codified in law. Speaker Firoux has seemingly accomplished what he has always hoped to do: demonstrate that multilateralism at the European-level is far more successful through Europolis than outside of it. Politically, Firoux has re-built the pro-European movement in the European Union, not only leading the movement to electoral victory, but also their domination of the European Council. However, when the pendulum swings one way, naturally force will attempt to swing the pendulum the other way. With events like Anglexit on the horizon, has the European Union reached peak European unity, or will the European Union slowly undo itself again like it did four years ago?

[Inquista]

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UNBELIEVABLE Czech Propaganda BRAINWASHING Children With SHOCKING Cuteness

Article by Kathy Vickers
April 21, 2021

SINISTER CATS: Bodlinka (L) and Fousek (R) are the face of Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers.

A wild frenzy has been unleashed across the Inquistan internet following the implementation of new television guidelines introduced in Czech Slavia. The new Czech television guidelines, instituted by the Czech Ministry of Culture, aims to instill patriotism and the values of the Democratic Republic into the Czech people. New television programs have also been established in Czech Slavia in accordance with these guidelines, most notably of which includes a new children’s cartoon called Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers.

In Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers, Bodlinka (a female cat) and Fousek (a male cat) undertake various duties and tasks associated with Czech Slavia’s youth pioneer movement. In the inaugural episode, Bodlinka and Fousek are shown clearing and protecting a forest, promoting the importance of ecology, as well as demonstrating their "love and devotion to the great comrade President who loves the forests just as she loves all her children”. Episodes of the program are always sure to include heavy-handed messages of state propaganda.

Despite being a Czech-language program aimed entirely to a Czech audience, Bodlinka and Fousek have managed to take Inquista by storm, with English-subtitled versions of episodes being shared enthusiastically throughout Inquistan internet spaces. One Inquistan fan of the program described the series as “very cute uWu”, while other Inquistan fans have praised the individual characters of Bodlinka and Fousek, with one female fan stating that “Fousek may be a cartoon and a cat, but he has great values that I can never find in a good Inquistan boy. Fousek has my heart.”

The popularity of Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers in Inquista has been described as part of a broader “Czech Wave” that has been washing over Inquista’s youth. The enthusiasm for this Czech children’s cartoon coincides with the immense popularity Imis and other computer games produced by Computers United Kalmia (CUK), a Czech gaming company. Video games produced by CUK, much like Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers, also feature omnipresent messages concerning the advancement of socialism. Thus, Inquistan parents have become increasingly worried about the popularity of Czech-produced content among their children.

These newfound fans of Czech produced content have widely become known as “Chweebs” throughout Inquista. Many Chweebs have complained that they have suffered from bullying and social stigma as a result of their appreciation of Czech culture. One source told Inquista Today that “when people find out that I stan Anna K, that I play Imis, or that watch Bodlinka and Fousek, they will laugh at me”, and described an instance where “someone once spat on me and told me that I was ‘Czech Saliva’.”

According to latest Duo Lingo statistics, Czech has become the number one language that Inquistans are learning using the app, with 39% of all active monthly users in Inquista studying the language. Incidentally, the communities most critical of the pervasiveness of Czech television and online content in Inquistan society are Inquista’s very own burgeoning Czech refugee and immigrant communities. Some members of these communities have contacted Inquista Today, and have admonished Czech television programs and computer games as “statist propaganda” and “tools for numbing the brain with socialist messages.” Some have called for Czech state-produced content to be banned in Inquista.

The Czech Minister for Culture, Karel Šín, is widely credited as the mastermind who has developed the new Czech television guidelines, as well as the strategy to begin appealing more to Czech youth and children. Sources have told Inquista Today that the international community should be sceptical of Minister Šín and his intentions as he is a “known liar and psychopath”. Minister Šín, who boasts about having “tiger blood”, is reported to actually have an AB- blood type, which one source described as “literally the most useless blood type”. Another insider source alleged to Inquista Today that Minister Šín intends to use state propaganda to bolster his own image, which Minister Šín is “insecure about”, following instances where “he has pissed himself on stage at multiple party conferences”.

The Inquistan Orthodox Church has remained silent on the Czech Wave. Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg has been criticised for seemingly participating in the new cultural phenomenon, following her well documented appreciation for the art movement coming out of Czech Slavia, and her recent patronage of Czech art, which includes over 120 Czech paintings. Czech state media has even gone as far as to allege that Archbishop Kligenberg personally encouraged Czech President Albína Reiserová to launch her newly-created program, known as Reiserová's Moments, which focuses on building a cult of personality surrounding the Czech President. Inquista Today has contacted the Archbishop’s Palace in regards to the claims and has not received a comment at this time.

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[Inquista]

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College of Bishops to End Inquista's Communist Refugee Program

May 7, 2021

The College of Bishops has expired the Communist Refugee Program

The College of Bishops has voted today to conclude Inquista's Communist Refugee Program, which will now expire on May 10th. The Communist Refugee Program, which was established on June 18th, 2020, allows for nationals of Icholasen and Czech Slavia to claim asylum in Inquista "as a means to escape communism, and to live freely and in prosperity, with dignity and a free conscience". Czech and Nicoleizian citizens have until Monday, May 10th to apply to the program, which will then immediately cease to take new applicants once it officially expires.

Following the vote, the Bishop Secretary of Immigration and Citizenship, Emiliano Florin, made it clear that those who have applied or have been accepted into the program will not face any disruptions or disturbances by today's decision. "As long as one applies before or on May 10th, individuals can continue to benefit from this program. Those who have already applied or have already been accepted into the program have nothing to worry about. Those who have already received refugee status definitely do not have anything to worry about - we will continue to support you in the best way that we can." The Bishop Secretary also reiterated that the Inquistan Orthodox Church will continue to sponsor programs to help refugees from this program transition into Inquistan society, with various work, skills, language and social programs continuing to receive support and funding.

The Communist Refugee Program was established last year by Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg's Reformist Bloc, who sought to reverse Archbishop Craticus' closed-door approach to refugees, and to help Nicoleizians who were looking to flee from the UNSR. However, the refugee program ultimately primarily targeted Czech nationals, who made up the vast lion's share of program, which also subsequently resulted in Inquista developing a large Czech refugee community.

It is widely believed that decision to end the refugee program is a result of the bilateral meeting between Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg and President Albína Reiserová, which took place in Prague earlier in February. It is believed that the Archbishop agreed to end the program in exchange for a deepened trade relationship with Czech Slavia, particularly in terms of its mining sector, which includes valuable rare earth metals.

This belief is aided by a statement that was released by the Archbishop's Palace shortly after the College of Bishops was called to a recess following the vote. The statement reads that, "The Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia is a free, open and democratic society, where people live in great harmony, security and prosperity. Upon visiting the country, the Archbishop of the Most Holy Inquistan Orthodox Church was struck by the great joy, contentment, and industry exhibited by the Czech people. The Archbishop was also struck by the profound leadership of President Reiserová, who is a proven titan of Czech cinema, and a paragon of Czech cooking and cuisine, who continuously demonstrates her commitment to being a great mother to all Czech people. It has therefore become apparent that Czech Slavia is not only a free society, but also a society of great marvel and well-being, which does warrant belonging to such a refugee program. Subsequently, without Czech Slavia as part of the program, the Inquistan Orthodox Church has decided that the Communist Refugee Program has become redundant."

The decision to end the refugee program has been met with mixed reactions, especially within the Inquistan Czech refugee community. Some have marked this near 11-month anniversary of the program with great gratitude, thanking the Inquistan Orthodox Church for allowing them to settle in Inquista in the first place, and for the Church's support in helping them adjust to Inquista. Some, however, are disappointed, and have alleged that the Church has caved into Czech demands in order to reap commercial and trade favours. Some are also uncomfortable with the Archbishop’s active embrace of Czech political and cultural influence. The statement released by the Archbishop's Palace has received particular attention, and has been derided and condemned as "absurd propaganda."

The decision to expire the refugee program was passed in a 181-49 vote, with 49 of the Archbishop’s own Reformist Bloc voting against the measure. Chief Bishop Secretary Edward Firoux, and all other members of the Archbishop’s Secretariat helped constitute the Archbishop’s majority, although it is no secret that many of them did so rather unenthusiastically, and many had to be convinced that there were long-term benefits to be reaped with their decision. The Traditionalist and Progressivist Blocs voted to end the refugee program, having opposed the program from the start.

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[Inquista]

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Inquista Signs Declaration of Friendship with Czech Slavia

May 13, 2021

The Czech Embassy in Saint Dominico (L); Sisters in Destiny statue (R)

Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg has announced today that Inquista has signed a Declaration of Friendship with the Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia. The Declaration of Friendship has been proclaimed following a honeymoon of increasingly warm relations between the two countries. The friendship declaration is a mostly token gesture, but it carries significant symbolism: Inquista has never signed such a declaration with any other state in modern history. The text within the declaration is specifically dedicated to the "the profound and earnest friendship shared between the Inquistan and Czech people, as well as the unbreakable sisterhood shared between the Czech and Inquistan motherlands". Text within the declaration also boasts of a "joint march towards progress."

The Declaration of Friendship was also accompanied by another gesture, in which the Inquistan Orthodox Church presented a marble statue of two women - one representing Inquista, the other representing Czech Slavia - with their arms wrapped around one another, to the Czech embassy in Saint Dominico. The statue, which is entitled "Sisters in Destiny", was designed by Josephina Pileppa, and was commissioned at the behest of the Archbishop for the occasion. May 13th has also been designated as Day of Czech Fraternity within Inquista.

Rosy relations between Inquista and Czech Slavia have come under progressively more criticism, not only within both Inquista and Czech Slavia, but even from within Istklaen. While some Czechs have voiced their worry about Inquista's economic access to Czech Slavia, as many Inquistans are equally worried about the growing encroachment of Czech nationalist and ideologically-laden cultural overtones in Inquistan civil society, as well as a growing perception that the Archbishop is falling under the influence and sway of Czech Slavia's top politicians.

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[Inquista]

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Inquista to Introduce Universal 'Hair and Bodycare'

May 20, 2021

Public gyms, hair salons and barbershops will soon become available to Inquistans

The College of Bishops has passed Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg's landmark legislation to introduce a universal public option for gyms, hair salons and barbershops, which will be incorporated into Inquista's universal public healthcare system. Private gyms and hairdressers will continue to operate without interruption, but will now have to compete with the Inquistan Orthodox Church.

Inquista's Health Secretariat hailed the legislation as a huge step forward in terms of bettering Inquistan public health. The health benefits of greater accessibility to gyms were touted as "a chance to combat heart disease, cardiovascular illnesses and other ailments which can benefit from increased physical exercise", which in turn would reduce the demand placed upon Inquista's public hospitals and medical centres. Meanwhile, Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg touted that haircare was "necessary for everyday life".

The Inquistan Orthodox Church will in the comings months begin the process of purchasing, opening and constructing gyms, barbershops and hair salons across Saint Dominico. The first public gym and hairdresser is expected to open as soon as August. Inquistans will be able to access these gyms and hairdressers through their national healthcare cards, which will also be accessible to Europeans using their EHIC cards.

Publicly-funded gyms and hairdressers have been central to Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg's political platform. The Archbishop has in the past declared good hair and good physique as "a basic human right". Greater accessibility to gyms and hairdressers is also considered one of the most - if not the most - prominent issue to the Archbishop's political base, who are men and women within the 18-34 year old demographic, who are usually low-skilled or low-educated, and are often described by Inquistan media and political pundits as the "bimbo and himbo demographic."

Having good hair, especially curly luscious locks, is indeed considered one of the most desirable traits in Inquista, in addition to having fit and well-built bodies. Inquistan society is generally considered to be rather vain, particularly in comparisons to foreign cultures, and a great deal of societal expectations are placed upon looks and appearances.

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