IT - Inquista Today (News)

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Historic Laayoune Summit Sees Sahrawi Union Released as Protectorate; Sahrawi Union Exits EU

September 26, 2020

Deal makers: Archbishop Kligenberg (L), Supreme Councillor Ali-Sayed (C) and Bishop Secretary Emerett (R)

A landmark agreement has been reached today in the Sahrawi capital city of Laayoune. The Sahrawi Union has been released as a protectorate of Inquista, and the country has been granted full autonomy over its own affairs. All Inquistan military personnel currently located in the Western Sahara will return to Inquista, and all Inquistan military bases located in the Sahrawi Union will also be closed.

The first act of the Sahrawi Union will be its immediate withdrawal from the European Union. Despite the Sahrawi Union's withdrawal from the EU, it will still maintain all existing trade agreements with Inquista, as well as visa-free travel with the Most Blessed State. Inquista is home to approximately 5 million Sahrawis, and so free travel between the two countries is seen as imperative to the deep people-to-people ties that they share.

In 2011, Inquista was invited to establish peace in the war-stricken Western Sahara upon the invitation and request of the Marrakechian government. However, in 2014, Inquistan military forces pivoted from their peace-keeping role, and instead supported the Polisario Front in their fight for national liberation, and assisted them in freeing Sahrawi lands from Marrakechian occupation. A national referendum on the independence of the Sahrawi Union was then held, overseen by neutral international observers, which led to a result which overwhelmingly favoured independence. Sine 2014, Inquista has acted as the protector of the country, and has maintained a significant military presence in the territory

The agreement today in Laayoune has been marked by celebration and festivity, as the Sahrawi Union moves towards complete and total independence. Both Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg and Bishop Secretary of State Anja Emerett were honoured in an accompanying ceremony, in which they were both presented with the Sahrawi Medal of Freedom. Bishop Secretary Anja Emerett, who is widely being credited as the architect of the agreement, has also been named 'Ukht Al-Uma', which translates to 'Sister of the Nation' in Sahrawi Arabic. Supreme Councillor Nadia Ali-Sayed delivered an impassioned speech, in which she thanked Inquista for freeing the country from foreign occupation, for creating peace and stability in the Western Sahara, and for allowing the Sahrawi Union to now flourish as an independent country.

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[Inquista]

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Archbishop Kligenberg Drops New Charity Album "You're My Haane-y" For Haanean Humanitarian Relief

September 29, 2020

You're My Haane-y is the Archbishop's tenth official studo album

Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg has sent shockwaves throughout Inquista's music scene after unexpetedly releasing an unforeseen music album today. On her personal social media accounts, the Archbishop announced her tenth official studio album, titled You're My Haane-y, which was also immediately released for streaming and digital download. The album is dedicated to the humanitarian crisis in Eastern Haane, and all proceeds from the album's streams and downloads will be donated to the Inquistan Eastern Haane Relief Fund, which will help aid humanitarian relief efforts in Eastern Haane once it becomes safe for international organizations to visit the country.

You're My Haane-y is Archbishop Kligenberg's latest studio album since her 2014 release of Only Human. Inquistans have spent the last six years eagerly anticipating the return of the country's Pop Princess, who dominated Inquista's music charts from the early 2000's to mid 2010's. What remaining hope there was for a future Mikaela Kligenberg album seemed to be dashed earlier in the year once she became Archbishop, and many assumed her musical career was all but over. Notable tracks from the new album include "Let You", "Haane-y Haane-y", "East Side", "Ievonuia State of Mind", a collaborative Spanglish ballad called "Mi Hermoso Chico" featuring Icholasen's Carlos, and a girl-power anthem "GWORLBO$$" which features Meghan Thee Stallion, Cardi B and Paloma Faith.

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College of Bishops Rejects Treaty with Reitzmag

October 14, 2020

The College of Bishops has rejected the Inquistan-Reitzmic Accord

The Inquistan-Reitzmic Accord, signed in September by Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg and Prime Minister Simon Bridges of Reitzmag, was defeated in a 13-217 vote in the College of Bishops today, meaning that the treaty has been rejected and will not be ratified. The treaty, which includes the elimination of trade barriers, provisions for free movement, channels for high-security communication, and most importantly - access to Inquista's military weapons and vehicle producers - has thus become void and nullified.

The accord, which was drafted between the Archbishop and the Prime Minister of Reitzmag while the two enjoyed a much-publicized night out in the city, was panned by bishops across all aisles of the College, but was still expected to pass despite all criticisms - until, at the last minute, it was apparently sunk by Chief Bishop Secretary Edward Firoux.

Bishop Karinn Lallana, of the Progressivist Bloc, argued that Reitzmag's recent involvement in Eastern Haane was "nothing short of a humanitarian catastrophe", and stated that Inquista could not allow a "war hawk" to buy weapons or vehicles from Inquistan military producers to "carry out more international carnage on behalf of dark-moneyed neoliberals and capitalists". Bishop Michael Cunard, the leader of the Traditionalist Bloc, also criticized the accord and asked his colleagues to vote against it.

The Archbishop's Reformist Bloc, which has a majority in the College of Bishops, and more than enough votes to ratify the treaty, became divided. Some Reformist Bishops were apprehensive of the accord from the start, especially after the European Court of Justice had already found Reitzmag guilty of breaking the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen. These apprehensions worsened after Reitzmag's intervention into Eastern Haane, but the final nail in the coffin seemed to come after the Councillor of Reitzmag voted in favour of the Ruthenish Neutrality Motion in the European Council, which Chief Bishop Secretary Firoux has characterised as a "step toward the normalization of international recognition of the UNSR".

The Chief Bishop Secretary, who initially favoured the treaty with Reitzmag, returned from Europolis and delivered disapproving remarks to the College of Bishops. "Reitzmag has now consistently, and once illegally, been shown to be open to collaborating with UNSR, doesn't share any of our views regarding the isolation of the illegitimate regime, and more consequentially, the country opposes us in the European Council on virtually every matter - our foreign policies simply don't add up. Reitzmag has its own sovereign prerogative to conduct its own foreign policy, however it's so different and divergent from Inquista's, that I'm not entirely sure how we could ever consider the country an ally, never mind also sell it military weapons."

Chief Bishop Secretary Firoux was originally seen as a keen ally of Reitzmag, but has since soured on his stance on the country following an attempt by the Reitzmic Councillor to bar him from European Council Speakership.

Archbishop Kligenberg expressed "regret" over the failure of her agreement to be ratified. The Archbishop, along with Bishop Secretary Silas Kligenberg, and 11 other bishops, were the only votes for the treaty. Bishop Sectary Silas Kligenberg, whose own military manufacturing businesses stood to benefit from the treaty, argued that the accord would have been economically beneficial to the country. The Archbishop, meanwhile, praised Prime Minister Simon Bridges as "a good guy who's not the monster that people make him out to be."

The Archbishop however was very quick to look for a replacement ally, and has now turned to Spain. The Archbishop departed Saint Dominico later this afternoon and is expected to meet with the Spanish President in Madrid, where she will hope to score a new agreement there.

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[Inquista]

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El General Caught CHEATING On Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg with Secret SPANISH MISTRESS

Article by Kathy Vickers

AN AFFAIR EXPOSED: General Juan-Bernardo Fernandez-Velasquez Caught Red Handed

Visitors at Talamanca beach in Ibiza, Spain, have just now reportedly captured extremely intimate pictures between General Juan-Bernardo Fernandez-Velasquez and a woman believed to be Corinna zu Sayn-Wittgenstein-Sayn, who has recently been living under the pseudonym 'Renata' since her exposed affair with King Juan Carlos of Spain.

Beachgoers are said to have taken notice of the General, whose physique and arms of steel are said to be a crowd pleaser among those visiting the beach. However, several members of the public have noticed the General getting snuggly and hands-on with a woman, who bares little to no resemblance to his fiancée, Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg. Upon further inspection, the woman appears to be Corinna zu Sayn-Wittgenstein-Sayn, who is the same woman who had an intimate affair with King Juan Carlos of Spain, which recently erupted in scandal.

Corinna, who has been living undercover as 'Renata' since exposing her affair with the former King of Spain, was easily identified by those at the beach, which prompted them to photograph her affectionate closeness with the General and submit those photos to Inquista Today. Further investigation by Inquista Today reveals that Corinna has been very active in commenting on the General's social media posts, often posting very suggestive and flirtatious messages.

According to eye-witnesses, Corinna seemed to kiss General Fernandez-Velasquez several times on the cheek, which were not reciprocated, but nor were they said to be rejected. Eye-witnesses also further report that the couple were seen holding one another, and Corinna was also found sitting on his lap.

The General is currently engaged to Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg, who travelled with him to Spain to attend a state visit with the Spanish President. The Archbishop is believed to be discussing state affairs with the Spanish President as this scandal unfolds live.

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[Inquista]

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Archbishop Kligenberg Mourns on National Television Following Resignation of Czech PM

December 3, 2020

The Archbishop appeared to be distraught when reacting to the news

Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg appeared on IBC News this evening, where she broke down crying when asked about her thoughts on the resignation of Czech Prime Minister Slavomíra Černá. Footage of the one-minute segment has since been widely shared online. In the interview, the Archbishop laments about seeing her international counterpart resign, stating that "I love what we had", before adding that she "feels numb" about her resignation.

It is reported that the Archbishop and the Czech Prime Minister struck a close personal friendship during the Prime Minister's visit to Saint Dominico in October. The state visit, as well as the Archbishop's apparent fondness of the Czech Prime Minister, has received criticism within Inquista, particularly from Inquista's burgeoning Czech community, who hold especially bitter sentiments towards the dominating ideology of the Czech government. Nonetheless, the Archbishop appeared to be undeterred by these criticisms, and is said to have personally asked Speaker Edward Firoux to oppose the recently proposed sanctions against Czech Slavia in the European Council.

According to insider political sources, the Archbishop was also asked by the Czech Prime Minister to remove Czech Slavia from Inqusita's Communist Refugee Program, which the Archbishop and the Inquistan Orthodox Church implemented earlier in June. The Archbishop rebuffed this pressure, but soon after the state visit between the Prime Minister and the Archbishop, Inquista eliminated all tariffs on all natural resources, ores and metals imported from Czech Slavia. The Secretariat for the Treasury and Economy also released two subsequent statements, with the first statement promoting further trade with Czech Slavia, calling for Inquistan companies and entrepreneurs to make use of the eliminated tariffs, and the second statement which praised "the stability" of the Czech economy, and reassured investors that Czech Slavia was a "reliable trade partner". The eliminated tariffs and subsequent statements were criticised by bishops of the Traditionalist bloc, with Bishop Michael Cunard criticising the Archbishop and her government for being "morally bankrupt" for their "willingness to do business with just about anyone".

Much like Czech Slavia, Inquista experienced mass protesters earlier in the year. The Inquistan protests eventually culminated in fresh elections that saw Archbishop Kligenberg and her Reformist bloc rise to power. The ripples of change, which have profoundly impacted Inquista this year, as well as many other European countries, now seems to be sweeping Czech Slavia. The Inquistan Orthodox Church has made no comments on the recent protests in Czech Slavia.

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[Inquista]

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Edward Firoux: The Man Behind Europolis

Examining the Legacy of Europe's Outgoing Speaker

January 20th, 2021
Profile by Ezra Archer

It’s official. Speaker Edward Firoux has officially stepped down as the Chairperson of the European Progressive Alliance, handing the reigns of the eurogroup to Councillor Poppy Carlton-Romanov of Icholasen, who will take over as interim Chairperson until a new Chairperson of the eurogroup is elected. The announcement was made at an EPA event in Europolis, where the Speaker delivered his parting remarks to the eurogroup's faithful. Speaker Firoux has also called an election for a new Council Speaker, and has announced that he will step down as Inquista’s Councillor to the European Union once a new Council Speaker has been elected. Speaker Firoux is now quickly shifting his remaining political responsibilities from Europolis to Saint Dominico.

A European Councillor since 2013, and Chairman of the European Progressive Alliance since 2015, Speaker Firoux is the longest-serving European Councillor in European history, and has served as the leader of the most successful eurogroup in European history. The Speaker's shift from European to Inquistan politics will more than likely be met with intensely partisan and mixed reactions. When Firoux eventually vacates his European offices, the Speaker will leave behind both a void and a legacy.

For better or worse, Firoux has become the face and avatar of the European Council, and the name 'Firoux' has become synonymous with Europolis (a handsome face, some might say). This association has often, especially in recent years, made the Speaker the target of frequent attacks and criticisms. The Speaker has increasingly embraced the mantle of his reputation - whether it be positive or negative - and, when recently asked to comment on his ability to divide opinions, the Speaker remarked that "I say a lot, I do a lot, I act a lot, and ultimately, that’s what happens when you've passed the most legislation in the European Council. You are bound to divide opinions. It’s also what happens when you’re unafraid to legislate and be vocal voice on sensitive issues, and are also willing to call out and challenge nonsense."

Speaker Firoux has authored or co-authored 11 pieces of legislation which still remain part of the European Union's Acquis Communautaire, has passed 5 amendments to the Constitution of the European Union, and has passed 9 amendments to existing laws or other successful miscellaneous motions. The Speaker has successfully written and passed more legislation than any other European Councillor by quite a distance, and has currently authored or co-authored more legislation than all of his current incumbent Council colleagues combined in their entirety. Thus, when the Speaker talks of acting and not just talking, he means it. However, as the Speaker himself recognises, it's not his keenness to legislate that divides opinion, it's what he decides to legislates on: the Speaker isn't afraid to legislate on sensitive issues.

The Speaker's own authorship and legislative record tends to focus on three primary things: human rights, environmental justice, and a stronger European Union. He has authored or co-authored legislation concerning gay marriage rights, expanded rights for the disabled, an expanded and enforceable Declaration of Human Rights in the European Constitution, a ban on capital punishment and torture, internet neutrality, the right to clean and safe drinking water, clean ocean protections, the European Health Organization, anti-corruption and anti-bribery regulations within the European Council, Council procedure regulations, major reforms to the European Commission, and other pieces of miscellaneous legislation, such as the European Order of Merit. While aspects of this record have certainly been controversial, especially his efforts for equal marriage rights and the ban on capital punishment, his most controversial pieces of legislation include his efforts to sustain a democratically-elected European Council, and his now-repealed effort to place a European-wide moratorium on nuclear weapons production.

For some, the Speaker's legislative work has divulged too much power away from the member states, and has centralised and transferred too much of that power to Europolis. Conversely, and sometimes paradoxically, the Speaker has garnered criticisms within the more progressive and activist circles of the European Union, who allege that the EPA leader is ‘too centrist’. The Speaker has generally shrugged off these latter claims, pointing to his legislative record, in which you'd likely be hard-pressed to find a councillor with a more accomplished record in terms of progressive pieces of legislation actually written and passed, and in terms of environmental justice and human rights, the Speaker's legislative record is almost unmatched (no other Councillor has proposed anything on environmental issues other than Firoux since 2014). The Speaker himself pins these criticisms on the fact that he has purposely worked to cultivate an image as a coalition-builder and pragmatist, which he believes has benefited him in building broad cross-partisan support to pass meaningful pieces of legislation, and to grow a large big-tent eurogroup, both of which he has successfully done.

The Speaker’s attitude towards centralizing power in Europolis has, however, been a story of continuous evolution. When Firoux first entered the European Council in 2013, he quickly established himself as a bipartisan legislator who has been willing to collaborate and compromise on many issues, despite his particularly progressive leanings, with a goal-oriented mindset of “achieving somethings, which are better than achieving nothings". Firoux, who previously served as the ambassador of Inquista to Halsberg, was once described by the Councillor of Halsberg as the “compromiser-in-chief”. However, as the topic of nuclear proliferation came to forefront of European politics, Firoux became frustrated with continuous empty promises made by Europe's largest nuclear powers. Firoux then worked to pass his now-infamous moratorium on nuclear weapons production, which then sparked outrage from Europe's superpowers and nuclear-ambitious nations. Firoux later agreed to not campaign against or vocally oppose a repeal of the moratorium (although he still voted against its repeal), as long as nuclear states promised to finally make good on their intention to scale back their nuclear arsenals. The nuclear states agreed to a meeting, which then never properly materialized. Consequently, nuclear proliferation has since increased exponentially, and there are now more nuclear-armed states in the European Union than ever before. Since this renege, Firoux became noticeably imprinted with the idea that the European Union’s member states regularly fail to make key agreements or compromises outside of Europolis-led frameworks.

By 2015, Firoux cultivated a broad alliance of pro-European partisans, and united them under the European Progressive Alliance. Even in its early days, the EPA experienced great success in Commission elections, where their Chairperson's political and electoral shrewdness always lent itself well to his eurogroup. After pulling a string of back-to-back successes in Commission elections, the EPA was confronted by the then-burgeoning European Liberals, who attempted the block the confirmations of successfully elected EPA Commissioners. In a dramatic confirmation hearing, the Chairman of the European Liberals launched into a furious tirade against Eilidh Whiteford's Commissioners, who then all rejected taking up their offices en masse (including the then Premier-elect), and the councillors of their countries of origin, including Firoux, all took a hiatus from their work in Europolis.

During this hiatus, the European Liberals, and what remained of other councillors, embarked on a mass repeals of various human rights legislation, environmental protections (including the first Ocean Protection Act), and the repeal on European-wide marijuana legalization that has since become mythologised, among other things. After this swift wave of repeal motions, the European Union as a whole quickly fell into disarray, the European Council quickly ceased to operate or meet, the majority of European institutions ceased to function entirely, and virtually all multilateralism disintegrated as countries turned inward. This period is sometimes referred to as the Dark Age of the European Union, where activity in European international affairs came to a screeching halt.

After some time, Firoux and some his colleagues eventually took up their councillorship duties again. However, substantial damage had already been done to the European Union, and to Europe as a whole, which only further solidified Firoux’s strong beliefs that Europe truly needed Europolis in order to make progress as a united community, and that the European Council was the most effective vehicle for multilateralism. Firoux emerged from his sabbatical by pivoting to an even more pro-European tone, and he set his eyes on harnessing the role of Council Speakership to help rebuild the internal politics of Europolis. Despite continuous displays of bad faith, and no apologies or apparent feelings of remorse from the European Liberals, Firoux championed for his now-wife, Gisela Stuart, a member of the European Liberals, to become Premier, and to work together to rebuild the European Union. Firoux eventually became Speaker of the European Union in 2019, and upon his election, he became the first ever left-of-centre and pro-European Speaker in European Council history.

Naturally, the Speaker has sought to channel his enthusiasm to legislate and debate issues at the European-level. He also sought to inspire the same enthusiasm in other councillors, and sought to build their trust in an active Europolis. Thus, the Speaker’s approach to his office has been markedly different than those of his predecessors. Speaker Firoux has been very hands-on in his approach to his duties, often meeting one-on-one with his colleagues to discuss their Council proposals, to offer his own advice on their proposals before they make them, offer his own legislative edits, and to offer his own honest feedback on proposals. A large majority of legislation proposed under the Speaker’s term has come to his office desk before reaching the European Council, and a very few ideas make it onto the Council floor without being presented first to the Speaker personally. The Speaker has always been willing to give his advice and feedback to Councillors, and he has taken it upon himself to mentor many of them.

Some Councillors look to the Speaker for feedback and mentorship not because of his authority – being Speaker actually grants him a limited set of powers – but, as the Council’s most senior member, and its most active legislator, he’s established a demonstrative record of getting things done, especially in writing legislation. The Speaker, likewise, has been keen to offer his mentorship, so as to build an effective European Council. The Speaker’s allyship has transcended beyond the eurogroup that he leads, and has been extended across the political aisle to other eurogroups, and especially to non-affiliated and independent councillors, whom the Speaker has collaborated with to co-author legislation on several occasions. It’s unsurprising then, that during the Speaker’s tenure, 16 separate pieces of legislation have been added to the Acquis Communautaire, several Constituional amendments have been passed, and countless far-reaching other motions have been passed in the European Council. On two separate occasions, the European Council has made history in recent times, where the Council debated 5 separate pieces of legislation at once, which is also a new record.

More legislation has been passed in 2019 and 2020 than between 2018 and 2012. 2020 alone accounts for more legislation passed than the previous 7 years altogether. The period between 2011 and 2013 had previously been known as a Golden Age of the European Union, with an active and robust European Council, and a strong European Commission. The European Council has in the last year alone superseded the levels of productivity of the Golden Age era, with Firoux’s European Council smashing through their record numbers of legislation with an exponentially higher new record. If the 2011-2013 era was considered the Golden Age, then Speaker Firoux’s tenure has perhaps overseen the Diamond Age of the European Council, which would be quite the feat in of itself, considering the fact that the European Council was essentially a dead institution only two years ago.

The European Council has not only passed a voluminous amount of legislation, but a lot of the legislation has been quite transformational, further expanding upon the EU’s institutions, strengthening human rights, environmental protections, and strengthening the values of the European Union itself, particularly in the face of sweeping discontent across the European Union. Naturally, these changes have not been without strong criticisms and deep worries of an ever-strong Europolis, and the Speaker’s enthusiasm to codify “European values” – a buzzword for democratic decision-making and a compressive view of human rights – into European institutions, has attracted a lot of recent criticism, even from his own eurogroup. When the Speaker is criticized for diverting too much power into Europolis, this is often where the criticisms lie. This is best exemplified by the Elected and Accountable Council Act, which the Speaker authored, passed and his since staunchly defended. The Act requires member states to hold elections to elect their European Council representatives.

Even perhaps more heavy-handedly, the European Council has in recent times issued the first ever Council-backed military intervention into another country, followed by a successful deployment of the European Relief Force. Both missions ended in relatively rapid success, a far-cry from the military intervention in Dromund Kass, for example, done outside of the framework of the EU bodies, and is still ongoing today.

As for the European Progressive Alliance, the eurogroup will have to, for the first time, exist in a post-Firoux Europolis. The EPA is as strong as ever, with more members than any other eurogroup, a series of Commission election-shutouts under its election belt, and seemingly unshakable bonds of unity and loyalty keeping the eurogroup steadfastly intact. Maintaining such eurogroup unity, despite the diversity of opinions, has been no easy feat, and Firoux’s successor will have their hands full with keeping their broad caucus of colleagues on the same page. Likewise, the EPA’s domination of European institutions will be under threat. After 2020’s final Commission election, Firoux indicated that he would no longer work to campaign for or elect EPA Commissioners, including in this upcoming Commissioner election. Previously, Firoux has played a central and integral part of the eurogroup’s strong campaign machine, with Firoux himself working as the campaign chair of many election campaigns undertaken by EPA commission candidates. The upcoming Commission election will be the EPA’s first test to see if it will sink or swim without its former eurogroup chairperson.

Thus, as the Speaker now reaches his retirement from European politics, he leaves Europe at a cross-roads. Europolis shall lose its most experienced public servant, its most experienced legislator, one of the European Union’s most fervent supporters, and it shall lose an unyielding European patriot. The European Council, and European Union as whole, is stronger than ever, with stronger institutions, with more European laws and regulations, and with commitments to ‘European values’ codified in law. Speaker Firoux has seemingly accomplished what he has always hoped to do: demonstrate that multilateralism at the European-level is far more successful through Europolis than outside of it. Politically, Firoux has re-built the pro-European movement in the European Union, not only leading the movement to electoral victory, but also their domination of the European Council. However, when the pendulum swings one way, naturally force will attempt to swing the pendulum the other way. With events like Anglexit on the horizon, has the European Union reached peak European unity, or will the European Union slowly undo itself again like it did four years ago?

[Inquista]

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UNBELIEVABLE Czech Propaganda BRAINWASHING Children With SHOCKING Cuteness

Article by Kathy Vickers
April 21, 2021

SINISTER CATS: Bodlinka (L) and Fousek (R) are the face of Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers.

A wild frenzy has been unleashed across the Inquistan internet following the implementation of new television guidelines introduced in Czech Slavia. The new Czech television guidelines, instituted by the Czech Ministry of Culture, aims to instill patriotism and the values of the Democratic Republic into the Czech people. New television programs have also been established in Czech Slavia in accordance with these guidelines, most notably of which includes a new children’s cartoon called Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers.

In Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers, Bodlinka (a female cat) and Fousek (a male cat) undertake various duties and tasks associated with Czech Slavia’s youth pioneer movement. In the inaugural episode, Bodlinka and Fousek are shown clearing and protecting a forest, promoting the importance of ecology, as well as demonstrating their "love and devotion to the great comrade President who loves the forests just as she loves all her children”. Episodes of the program are always sure to include heavy-handed messages of state propaganda.

Despite being a Czech-language program aimed entirely to a Czech audience, Bodlinka and Fousek have managed to take Inquista by storm, with English-subtitled versions of episodes being shared enthusiastically throughout Inquistan internet spaces. One Inquistan fan of the program described the series as “very cute uWu”, while other Inquistan fans have praised the individual characters of Bodlinka and Fousek, with one female fan stating that “Fousek may be a cartoon and a cat, but he has great values that I can never find in a good Inquistan boy. Fousek has my heart.”

The popularity of Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers in Inquista has been described as part of a broader “Czech Wave” that has been washing over Inquista’s youth. The enthusiasm for this Czech children’s cartoon coincides with the immense popularity Imis and other computer games produced by Computers United Kalmia (CUK), a Czech gaming company. Video games produced by CUK, much like Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers, also feature omnipresent messages concerning the advancement of socialism. Thus, Inquistan parents have become increasingly worried about the popularity of Czech-produced content among their children.

These newfound fans of Czech produced content have widely become known as “Chweebs” throughout Inquista. Many Chweebs have complained that they have suffered from bullying and social stigma as a result of their appreciation of Czech culture. One source told Inquista Today that “when people find out that I stan Anna K, that I play Imis, or that watch Bodlinka and Fousek, they will laugh at me”, and described an instance where “someone once spat on me and told me that I was ‘Czech Saliva’.”

According to latest Duo Lingo statistics, Czech has become the number one language that Inquistans are learning using the app, with 39% of all active monthly users in Inquista studying the language. Incidentally, the communities most critical of the pervasiveness of Czech television and online content in Inquistan society are Inquista’s very own burgeoning Czech refugee and immigrant communities. Some members of these communities have contacted Inquista Today, and have admonished Czech television programs and computer games as “statist propaganda” and “tools for numbing the brain with socialist messages.” Some have called for Czech state-produced content to be banned in Inquista.

The Czech Minister for Culture, Karel Šín, is widely credited as the mastermind who has developed the new Czech television guidelines, as well as the strategy to begin appealing more to Czech youth and children. Sources have told Inquista Today that the international community should be sceptical of Minister Šín and his intentions as he is a “known liar and psychopath”. Minister Šín, who boasts about having “tiger blood”, is reported to actually have an AB- blood type, which one source described as “literally the most useless blood type”. Another insider source alleged to Inquista Today that Minister Šín intends to use state propaganda to bolster his own image, which Minister Šín is “insecure about”, following instances where “he has pissed himself on stage at multiple party conferences”.

The Inquistan Orthodox Church has remained silent on the Czech Wave. Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg has been criticised for seemingly participating in the new cultural phenomenon, following her well documented appreciation for the art movement coming out of Czech Slavia, and her recent patronage of Czech art, which includes over 120 Czech paintings. Czech state media has even gone as far as to allege that Archbishop Kligenberg personally encouraged Czech President Albína Reiserová to launch her newly-created program, known as Reiserová's Moments, which focuses on building a cult of personality surrounding the Czech President. Inquista Today has contacted the Archbishop’s Palace in regards to the claims and has not received a comment at this time.

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[Inquista]

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College of Bishops to End Inquista's Communist Refugee Program

May 7, 2021

The College of Bishops has expired the Communist Refugee Program

The College of Bishops has voted today to conclude Inquista's Communist Refugee Program, which will now expire on May 10th. The Communist Refugee Program, which was established on June 18th, 2020, allows for nationals of Icholasen and Czech Slavia to claim asylum in Inquista "as a means to escape communism, and to live freely and in prosperity, with dignity and a free conscience". Czech and Nicoleizian citizens have until Monday, May 10th to apply to the program, which will then immediately cease to take new applicants once it officially expires.

Following the vote, the Bishop Secretary of Immigration and Citizenship, Emiliano Florin, made it clear that those who have applied or have been accepted into the program will not face any disruptions or disturbances by today's decision. "As long as one applies before or on May 10th, individuals can continue to benefit from this program. Those who have already applied or have already been accepted into the program have nothing to worry about. Those who have already received refugee status definitely do not have anything to worry about - we will continue to support you in the best way that we can." The Bishop Secretary also reiterated that the Inquistan Orthodox Church will continue to sponsor programs to help refugees from this program transition into Inquistan society, with various work, skills, language and social programs continuing to receive support and funding.

The Communist Refugee Program was established last year by Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg's Reformist Bloc, who sought to reverse Archbishop Craticus' closed-door approach to refugees, and to help Nicoleizians who were looking to flee from the UNSR. However, the refugee program ultimately primarily targeted Czech nationals, who made up the vast lion's share of program, which also subsequently resulted in Inquista developing a large Czech refugee community.

It is widely believed that decision to end the refugee program is a result of the bilateral meeting between Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg and President Albína Reiserová, which took place in Prague earlier in February. It is believed that the Archbishop agreed to end the program in exchange for a deepened trade relationship with Czech Slavia, particularly in terms of its mining sector, which includes valuable rare earth metals.

This belief is aided by a statement that was released by the Archbishop's Palace shortly after the College of Bishops was called to a recess following the vote. The statement reads that, "The Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia is a free, open and democratic society, where people live in great harmony, security and prosperity. Upon visiting the country, the Archbishop of the Most Holy Inquistan Orthodox Church was struck by the great joy, contentment, and industry exhibited by the Czech people. The Archbishop was also struck by the profound leadership of President Reiserová, who is a proven titan of Czech cinema, and a paragon of Czech cooking and cuisine, who continuously demonstrates her commitment to being a great mother to all Czech people. It has therefore become apparent that Czech Slavia is not only a free society, but also a society of great marvel and well-being, which does warrant belonging to such a refugee program. Subsequently, without Czech Slavia as part of the program, the Inquistan Orthodox Church has decided that the Communist Refugee Program has become redundant."

The decision to end the refugee program has been met with mixed reactions, especially within the Inquistan Czech refugee community. Some have marked this near 11-month anniversary of the program with great gratitude, thanking the Inquistan Orthodox Church for allowing them to settle in Inquista in the first place, and for the Church's support in helping them adjust to Inquista. Some, however, are disappointed, and have alleged that the Church has caved into Czech demands in order to reap commercial and trade favours. Some are also uncomfortable with the Archbishop’s active embrace of Czech political and cultural influence. The statement released by the Archbishop's Palace has received particular attention, and has been derided and condemned as "absurd propaganda."

The decision to expire the refugee program was passed in a 181-49 vote, with 49 of the Archbishop’s own Reformist Bloc voting against the measure. Chief Bishop Secretary Edward Firoux, and all other members of the Archbishop’s Secretariat helped constitute the Archbishop’s majority, although it is no secret that many of them did so rather unenthusiastically, and many had to be convinced that there were long-term benefits to be reaped with their decision. The Traditionalist and Progressivist Blocs voted to end the refugee program, having opposed the program from the start.

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Inquista Signs Declaration of Friendship with Czech Slavia

May 13, 2021

The Czech Embassy in Saint Dominico (L); Sisters in Destiny statue (R)

Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg has announced today that Inquista has signed a Declaration of Friendship with the Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia. The Declaration of Friendship has been proclaimed following a honeymoon of increasingly warm relations between the two countries. The friendship declaration is a mostly token gesture, but it carries significant symbolism: Inquista has never signed such a declaration with any other state in modern history. The text within the declaration is specifically dedicated to the "the profound and earnest friendship shared between the Inquistan and Czech people, as well as the unbreakable sisterhood shared between the Czech and Inquistan motherlands". Text within the declaration also boasts of a "joint march towards progress."

The Declaration of Friendship was also accompanied by another gesture, in which the Inquistan Orthodox Church presented a marble statue of two women - one representing Inquista, the other representing Czech Slavia - with their arms wrapped around one another, to the Czech embassy in Saint Dominico. The statue, which is entitled "Sisters in Destiny", was designed by Josephina Pileppa, and was commissioned at the behest of the Archbishop for the occasion. May 13th has also been designated as Day of Czech Fraternity within Inquista.

Rosy relations between Inquista and Czech Slavia have come under progressively more criticism, not only within both Inquista and Czech Slavia, but even from within Istklaen. While some Czechs have voiced their worry about Inquista's economic access to Czech Slavia, as many Inquistans are equally worried about the growing encroachment of Czech nationalist and ideologically-laden cultural overtones in Inquistan civil society, as well as a growing perception that the Archbishop is falling under the influence and sway of Czech Slavia's top politicians.

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[Inquista]

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Inquista to Introduce Universal 'Hair and Bodycare'

May 20, 2021

Public gyms, hair salons and barbershops will soon become available to Inquistans

The College of Bishops has passed Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg's landmark legislation to introduce a universal public option for gyms, hair salons and barbershops, which will be incorporated into Inquista's universal public healthcare system. Private gyms and hairdressers will continue to operate without interruption, but will now have to compete with the Inquistan Orthodox Church.

Inquista's Health Secretariat hailed the legislation as a huge step forward in terms of bettering Inquistan public health. The health benefits of greater accessibility to gyms were touted as "a chance to combat heart disease, cardiovascular illnesses and other ailments which can benefit from increased physical exercise", which in turn would reduce the demand placed upon Inquista's public hospitals and medical centres. Meanwhile, Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg touted that haircare was "necessary for everyday life".

The Inquistan Orthodox Church will in the comings months begin the process of purchasing, opening and constructing gyms, barbershops and hair salons across Saint Dominico. The first public gym and hairdresser is expected to open as soon as August. Inquistans will be able to access these gyms and hairdressers through their national healthcare cards, which will also be accessible to Europeans using their EHIC cards.

Publicly-funded gyms and hairdressers have been central to Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg's political platform. The Archbishop has in the past declared good hair and good physique as "a basic human right". Greater accessibility to gyms and hairdressers is also considered one of the most - if not the most - prominent issue to the Archbishop's political base, who are men and women within the 18-34 year old demographic, who are usually low-skilled or low-educated, and are often described by Inquistan media and political pundits as the "bimbo and himbo demographic."

Having good hair, especially curly luscious locks, is indeed considered one of the most desirable traits in Inquista, in addition to having fit and well-built bodies. Inquistan society is generally considered to be rather vain, particularly in comparisons to foreign cultures, and a great deal of societal expectations are placed upon looks and appearances.

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Bishop Karinn Lallana Elected as Inquistan Councillor

June 19, 2021

Bishop Lallana will succeed Chief Bishop Secretary Edward Firoux

European elections in Inquista have seen the country vote for their next European Commissioners and their next European Councillor. PEL candidates Sofie Čikarová and Piane Daggot were announced as the first-preference winners in the European Commissioner elections for Premier Commissioner and Internal Affairs Commissioner respectively. Today, ballot results for European Councillor were counted and announced. Bishop Karinn Lallana managed to eek out a victory on the first round of voting, securing 51.31% of the vote among a crowded field of candidates. These historic European election results have marked the first significant victories for the left in Inquista.

Bishop Karinn Lallana has been the bishop of Sundance since 2010, and has been the face of the socialist movement within the Inquistan Orthodox Church since then. Bishop Lallana has led the Progressivist Bloc - named after the progressivist liberation movement, not progressive liberalism - in the College of Bishops since its formation, and has now rebranded the bloc as the Liberationist Bloc. Bishop Lallana's blend of liberation theology, Christian socialism and eco-socialism has been dubbed as "Lallanist theology". Lallanist theology will now be coming to Europolis.

Bishop Lallana is no newcomer to European politics. The Bishop of Sundance has been entangled in an ongoing feud with Pravoslaviyan Councillor Dragan Trympov for many years now, with the pair often making blistering comments about each other in the press, with Councillor Trympov often referring to the Bishop as 'Plastic Surgery Woman'. Bishop Lallana has also been a key ally of Taylor Swift, a significant communist figure in Icholasen, whom she often defends, particularly against Councillor Trympov.

Bishop Lallana has also been an ally of Carole Baskin, who leads the AEN in the UNSR, and has backed the AEN's reconciliatory approach to the EU, and the AEN's green and ecologist political orientation. Bishop Lallana has also been a vocal critic of Inquista's foreign policy towards the UNSR, and has insisted that Inquista should recognise the existence of the UNSR and work with it in order to maintain "global peaceful co-existence". Thus, in recent months, Bishop Lallana has become an ardent and vocal supporter of PEL candidates in European elections, and has twice now endorsed and campaigned for Sofie Čikarová in Inquista. It is expected that Bishop Lallana will join the PEL eurogroup within the European Council.

When asked by Stephanie DeVey about Inquista's recent "move to the left" during the Europe Elects broadcast, Inquistan political analyst Lex Burnley explained that "Inquistans have always traditionally been more to the left in European affairs than in their home affairs. Archbishop Craticus dominated Inquistan politics at home from 2012 to 2020, leading a strong religious nationalist and conservative movement within the country. Despite this, Inquistans saw Edward Firoux elected as their European Councillor time and time again, with bigger majorities, despite being at odds with Archbishop Craticus and Inquistan nationalists. Now that a new liberal and progressive movement has swept the Inquistan Orthodox Church, we're seeing Inquistans demand a new approach to European affairs as well, and this time, Inquistans are pivoting even more to the left."

Bishop Lallana will become Inquista's 4th European Councillor, succeeding Chief Bishop Secratry Edward Firoux, who vacated his position earlier in February this year. Bishop Secretary Firoux did not endorse any candidates or make any politically-charged comments during the Councillor election, instead only stating that he had "faith that Inquistans will make the right decision," and that "whoever is elected will undoubtedly do their best to represent all Inquistans on the European stage". The Bishop Secretary has received light criticism from some of his more fervent pro-European supporters, who felt disappointed that he did not crown a political successor, and some also feeling regret that he has abandoned European politics altogether.

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Chief Bishop Secretary to Be Made Virtual Head of Government

September 30, 2021

The Archbishop will diverge more duties to Chief Bishop Secretary Firoux

Following week-long negotiations that have been made behind closed doors among her Reformist ecclesiastical colleagues, Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg has announced that a substantive amount of her responsibilities and duties will be diverged to Chief Bishop Secretary Edward Firoux. The Archbishop's Palace has announced in a statement that the Archbishop will take on more of a role as head of state, while the Chief Secretary will effectively function as a head of government. The Chief Secretary will oversee and lead the legislative process in the College of Bishops, while the Archbishop will continue to steer the Church Secretariat.

These power-sharing appropriations are not de jure or legally-binding changes, and have not been officiated by law or by any amendments to the Fundamental Laws of Inquista, but are instead an informal agreement made within the Church Secretariat and among the Reformist Bishops. Thus, the Archbishop will still remain as both head of state and government in name, but will see her duties over the College of Bishops de facto handed over to her Chief Secretary.

The wish for these changes have reportedly been mutual, with rumours suggesting that the Archbishop has been feeling increasingly overburdened and inadequate in overseeing all her responsibilities, while the Archbishop's own bishops have become increasingly leery of the Archbishop's capabilities and the undue influence that the Archbishop's "favourites" have had during her tenure.

This power-sharing agreement will heal cracks within the Reformists, and will serve to unite and solidify their theological bloc. The Archbishop's tendency to rely and heed the advice of her favourites has created moments of disunity, while some conservative sections of the Inquistan public have even called the Archbishop's loyalty into question as to whether she is being influenced by her "foreign favourites". It is also no secret that Chief Secretary Firoux also wields as much, if not more power over the Reformist bloc and the Reformist bishops, with many seeing him still as their unofficial leader. There is little doubt that the Chief Secretary will take to his new role quite naturally, as he famously juggled his responsibilities as the leader of the Reformists in Inquista while opposing Archbishop Craticus, while simultaneously sitting as Inquista's Councillor to the EU, where he also acted as Council Speaker, Chairperson of the European Progressive Alliance, and maintained an exhausting hustle of championing various causes and legislative acts across Europe.

As the Chief Bishop Secretary, Firoux has already been acting as the Archbishop's deputy, so these changes are expected to be rather seamless. Considered to be the Inquistan technocrat of all technocrats, and bureaucrat of all bureaucrats, Chief Secretary Firoux has already pulled many of the political strings behind the scenes under Archbishop Kligenberg's tenure. The Bishop Secretary has played a particularly important part in shaping Inquista's foreign and international trade policy, notably spearheading Inquista's role and membership within the European Monetary Union, and famously blocking the Inquistan-Reitzmic free trade agreement mere hours before it was supposed to pass the College of Bishops, after the Reitzmic Councillor suggested that the Chief Secretary be impeached as European Council Speaker. The Chief Secretary has also in recent days joined the Archbishop in her visit to Europolis to mediate an agreement between the UNSR and Free Icholasen.

The relationship between the Archbishop, her Secretariat and her bishops are said to be as warm and cordial as ever, and those involved have emphasized that this power-sharing agreement is not a rebuke of the Archbishop, but is actually a mutually-agreed upon compromise, much of what the Archbishop herself has been looking for, following reports that the Archbishop has found all her responsibilities equally tiring and straining.

The Archbishop also remains as popular as ever in Inquista, with a recent opinion poll putting the Archbishop at her highest ever approval rating of 72%. Delegating some of the trickier and less-popular aspects of her duties could also further boost the Archbishop's popularity (especially in the long-term), which has continued to soar and climb even in the face of criticism.

Archbishop Kligenberg has been in power for almost a year and a half, and has succefully reformed and pushed through many changes to the Inquistan Orthodox Church. The Archbishop has overseen far-reaching and rapid liberalisation of Church doctrine involving many social issues and social policies, most notably including the legalisation of gay marriage and the decriminalization of all drugs, and has also expanded greatly on Inquista's social programs, including her signature policy of universal hair and bodycare. The Archbishop has an approval rating over 80% on the economy and on international trade, which is not surprising considering Inquista has seen very strong economic growth in the last year, which has boosted Inquistan GDP and Inquistan personal incomes to their highest levels, while unemployment has also reached its own historic low. The Archbishop has also overseen new trade agreements with Czech Slavia, Spain, Montenbourg, Mennrimiak, and signed the Treaty of Telum, bringing Inquista into a free trade agreement with the Duxburian Union, the United Duchies, Inimicus and North Diessen.

After tomorrow's by-election in Grand Canal-Pavilion, the Archbishop is expected to reshuffle her Secretariat, and even possibly sack some of her so-called favourites from the cabinet.

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Antoni Reynels Wins By-Election; Secretariat Reshuffled

October 1, 2021

Newly-elected Antoni Reynels will be part of the Church Secretariat

Antoni Reynels has been duly elected as Bishop of Grand Canal-Pavilion following the by-election in the diocese today. Reynels was elected with 40.6% of the vote, besting the Liberationist-backed candidate who garnered 33.5% of the vote, and a Traditionalist-aligned candidate who received 25.9% of the vote. The diocese, which was vacated by Bishop Mattio Huezdron of the Liberationist bloc earlier in July, has always been considered a marginal and battle-ground diocese, but has been represented by the Liberationist bloc (and the former Green Inquista) since 2010.

Reynels' by-election victory marks good tidings for Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg and for the Reformists, who have not only won the first by-election since the 2020 ecclesiastical election, but have also further increased their majority by one. This victory will likely be interpreted as a resounding affirmation of the Archbishop's administartion, and the overall direction in which the country and the Church have been going since last year.

The victory has also dealt a blow to the Liberationist bloc, who not only lost a seat, but were also hoping to ride the momentum of the sweeping PEL victories that took place during the most recent European elections. Liberationist leader Bishop Karinn Lallana was elected to the European Council, and has since gained further public and political attention, which many hoped would bring further popularity to her bloc. Despite this, the Liberationists have been setback.

With that said, few analysts are surprised by the outcome of this by-election. Antoni Reynels, the former European Foreign Affairs Commissioner and High Commissioner to Icholasen, was considered a star candidate, and the diocese has always been politically marginal. Reynels, who is a career diplomat with experience in positions across Europe, was a staunch ally of Chief Secretary Firoux in Europolis, which has made him naturally popular amongs liberals and pro-Europeans. Simultaneously, Reynels is the brother-in-law of Bishop JennaMarelle Johnson, who is considered the most progressive bishop of the Reformist bloc, and is known to have a close bipartisan working relationship with Bishop Lallana and the Liberationist bishops. Bishop Johnson spent much of the by-election campaign glued to Reynels' hip, and Reynels positioned himself as a more progressive candidate, which seems to have allowed him to gain the support of enough progressives that he was able to beat his Liberationist opponent.

Controversy erupted, however, as Reynels was announced as a member of the Church Secretariat before he was officially acclaimed as the winner of the by-election. Once polls closed, the Archbishop announced that she had reshuffled her cabinet, and had named Reynels to the Secretariat, which promptly angered Reynels' election opponents and their supporters. Bishop Karinn Lallana congratulated Reynels on his appointment, but remarked to reporters that "this smug and arrogant political stunt is a terrible reflection of our Church leadership, and it is a poor reflection of our democracy, where decisions are made before people have even had their voices heard."

Reynels will take over the double-duty portfolio of Secretary of Trade as well as Secretary of International Aid and Development, which were positions held by his sister-in-law Bishop JennaMarelle Johnson, who has been promoted to Secretary of Defence. General Juan-Bernardo Fernandez-Velasquez has been sacked from his post as Secretary of Defence, likely due to his public infidelity to his fiancée, the Archbishop, and due to the newly reinforced influece of Chief Secretary Firoux, who has openly and consistently opposed the former Secretary's inclusion in Church governance.

Air Marshal Hariett Copala has also been sacked from her post, and known Firoux-ally Flavia Hershal has been named as the succeeding Secretary of Justice and High Inquisitor of Inquista. Chief Secretary Firoux has also openly and consistently opposed the Air Marshal's inclusion in the Secretariat, and has been a vocal critic of hers since the Inquistan intervention in Reitzmag.

Bishop Dante Gavros, the older brother of Bishop Dacien Gavros, the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, has been named as the new Secretary of Veterans Affairs. Bishop Belina Ochron joins the Secretariat as the new Secretary of Science, Industry and Innovation. Excluding the Archbishop, the new Secretariat consists of 10 men and 10 women, once again rounding out the cabinet with gender-parity.

Bishop JennaMarelle Johnson's appointment to Secretary of Defence has come as somewhat of a surprise to many political commentators. Bishop Johnson is known as a "peace dove" in Inquistan and European politics, and has been outspoken in her anti-war, anti-violence and anti-nuclear views. As the former European Commissioner for Defence and Peacekeeping, Bishop Johnsn caused a stir when she joined forces with Chief Secretary Firoux to succefsully place a moratorium on nuclear weapons production across Europe. The Bishop Secretary also habitually criticised all of Archbishop Craticus' foreign interventions, even including his popular intervention in the Western Sahara.

Most notably, however, of all Reformists bishops, Bishop Johnson is seen as the most sympathetic to the UNSR, and has also criticised the Church's own ongoing arms race with the regime. This appointment perhaps marks an end to the Church's containment policy towards the UNSR, and an end to the arms race with the country.

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Inquistan Orthodox Church Affirms Copala City as Part of Reitzmag

October 8, 2021

The Archbishop has made the Church's position on Copala City clear

In a statement issued by the State Secretariat, the Archbishop and the Inquistan Orthodox Church have reiterated their commitments to the Nyetthem Accords, and have strongly asserted their belief that Copala City is an "unequivocal part of Reitzmag." The Secretariat's statement further cautioned "against any extremist ideologies which purport Copalan independence or irredentism, and condemns foreign actors who intend to make a mockery of Copala City's status in Reitzmag, who, by extension, make a mockery of the Inquistan Orthodox Church."

The statement and stance taken by the Inquistan Orthodox Church follows prolonged political impasses concerning Copala City, which include a controversial declaration of independence, various instances of violence, and an exodus to Anastasia City. Considering the nature of Copala City's founding, and the fact that a majority of city residents are Inquistan Orthodox themselves, it's no surprise that the Archbishop would eventually have to come to a public position.

The Archbishop has avoided any and all political controversy surrounding Copalan politics for many months, but the reports of violence in the aftermath of the Anastasian exodus reportedly left the Archbishop, and especially the Chief Bishop Secretary, feeling disappointed and disheartened. The statement likely serves as an attempt to cool down the politics of the city, as the majority of Inquistan Orthodox residents, who now make up the vast majority of the city population following the exit of many Nicoleizians and Istkaleners, will likely adopt and head the Church's position, thus bringing all notions of independence and further political agitation within the city to an end.

Archbishop Kligenberg reportedly spoke to Reitzmic Prime Minister Simon Bridges on the matter, and the two have agreed to a formal meeting to discuss Copala City in November. The State Secretariat also made it be known that the College of Bishops would soon be discussing and examining a new and larger investment and development package for the city, and will even be discussing the possibility of providing stimulus payments to city residents impacted by the recent violence and turbulence.

In another statement, the Archbishop also stated that she would like to discuss the occupation of Istkalen with the Reitzmic Prime Minister, as the Inquistan Orthodox Church has already condemned Reitzmic occupation of the country as imperialist, and that she would be looking to see a peaceful withdrawal of non-EU Council backed forces as soon as possible.

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Archbishop Kligenberg's SECRET ENGAGEMENT Revealed Following SHOCKING ROBBERY of Atlantis Jewel

Article by Kathy Vickers
November 1, 2021

ENGAGEMENT ALREADY AT A ROCKY START: Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg (L) announced that she's engaged, but her engagement ring, which contains the Jewel of Atlantis (R), has been stolen

The Archbishop's Palace made a blindsiding announcement today, stating that the Archbishop has recently become engaged unbeknownst to the public, but that her engagement ring has now been stolen. The Archbishop last wore the ring to a Halloween party over the weekend, where it suddenly went missing from the Archbishop's finger without her noticing. Inquistan police are currently investigating the matter, and the Archbishop has offered a private sum of money for the return of the ring.

The Archbishop's Palace did not name the individual who the Archbishop is engaged to, but insider sources claim that person to be Tomáš Krejčí, a mining machine operator from Czech Slavia. Krejčí is believed to be from the town of Lišov, Czech Slavia, which is located near a rare earth metal mine. Insider sources claim that the Archbishop met Krejčí when she toured the Lišov mine alongside President Albína Reiserová when she visited the country in February. It is claimed that the Archbishop tripped while touring the facility, where she was caught by Krejčí, who saved her from falling on the ground. The Archbishop supposedly dropped her phone while she tripped, and the phone was later returned to the Archbishop by Krejčí shortly before she left Czech Slavia, which led to the two exchanging phone numbers, and the two have been said to be in constant communication since.

RARE EARTH METAL DIGGER: The Archbishop's unnamed fiancée is said to be Tomáš Krejčí, a Czech miner of a modest background, who is marrying way beyond his own means or league

Krejčí was last spotted in Inquista three weeks ago, when he attended the Archbishop's 39th birthday on October 12th. Sources claim this is when the Archbishop and Krejčí became engaged. Insider sources claim that the Archbishop's close friends and family heavily disapprove of the engagement, as Krejčí's family are said to be "literal peasants", and worry that the Archbishop is being married to for her wealth, which the Kligenberg family is especially concerned about following the the scandal of her previous engagement. Despite this, sources claim that Krejčí is not a suspect of the robbery, as he left Inquista to return to his work at the Lišov mine on the 13th of October.

The stolen ring features a sapphire jewel known as the Jewel of Atlantis. The 86.45 carat sapphire was discovered by archaeologists who explored the the underwater ruins of Atlantis, who found the jewel locked within a golden chest in the ruins of what seemed to be a throne room. The Archbishop reportedly paid Ꮠ6 million for the jewel. The Archbishop had the Jewel of Atlantis fashioned into a ring, and told insider sources she would gift the ring to any future would-be-fiancé, who in turn would have to use it when proposing to her.

The Archbishop was spotted attending a Halloween party on the weekend wearing the ring, where was seen dressed as a "slutty bishop". Police are currently questioning all those who attended the party. Anyone who might have any information on the whereabouts of the ring are being advised to contact the Inquistan police.

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Silas Kligenberg: "Czech Opposition Parties Trying to Destabilise Europe"

November 13, 2021

Bishop Secretary Silas Kligenberg made his opinion known to the Czech Embassy

Silas Kligenberg, Inquista's Bishop Secretary for the Economy and Treasury, lodged an official complaint to the embassy of Czech Slavia today, alleging that the opposition parties in Czech Slavia were attempting to "destabilise Europe", and in particular, Inquista. The Bishop Secretary requested that the government of Czech Slavia discipline these parties appropriately.

The complaint follows an incident on Friday, where members of an organization known as Češi za svobodu heckled the Bishop Secretary during a press briefing. Češi za svobodu is a civic and émigré organisation for Czechs living in Inquista, and the organisation holds considerable political sway over Inquista's Czech immigrant community. Opinion polling has consistently shown that many Czech immigrants in Inquista maintain a very unfavourable view of the current Czech government, its ruling party, and especially President Reiserová. Češi za svobodu has staged various protests, rallies, and leaflet campaigns throughout Saint Dominico in the last two weeks, where they have denounced and deemed the recent elections in Czech Slavia as fraudulent, and have cried out against the upcoming referendum in which President Reiserová will likely be made president for life. The group seeks to have Inquistan leaders and the Inquistan Orthodox Church publicly condemn these latest developments in Czech Slavia, and reverse Inquista's course of maintaining positive relations with the country.

Bishop Secretary Kligenberg did not react to the hecklers kindly, and swiftly had members of his security detail remove them from his press conference. Bishop Secretary Kligenberg went on to point out that Češi za svobodu had endorsed various political opposition parties in Czech Slavia during the recent elections, namely the AIMCD, the PDL, and the Green Party, and that it recently celebrated the re-registration of the Czech National Democracy party. The Bishop Secretary slammed Češi za svobodu for "acting as international agents and agitators on behalf of foreign entities," and branded them as "mouthpieces and puppets" of Czech opposition parties, which he then told to "focus on Czech affairs, not Inquistan affairs."

The Bishop Secretary then promptly lodged his complaint to the Czech embassy, where he stated that "Czech Opposition parties are trying to destabilise Europe", and alleged that the country's opposition parties are trying to influence the rest of Europe against Czech Slavia using organisations such as Češi za svobodu. Bishop Secretary Kligenberg went on to ask the government of Czech Slavia to "please deal with the agitators before they create an international incident or resort to extremism, which will inevitably lead down to a path of terrorism."

Chief Secretary Edward Firoux was quick to play down Bishop Secretary Kligenberg's complaint, and instead released a statement of his own in which he emphasized that Inquista is a country in which every person is entitled to the right to protest and participate in free political discourse. Chief Secretary Firoux reiterated that the Inquistan Orthodox Church holds no positions on internal Czech political issues, but that he welcomes Češi za svobodu and any other organisation to exercise their democratic rights and freedoms in Inquista.

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Inquista and Czech Slavia Solidify Alliance; Reiserová Awarded Highest Inquistan Honour

March 25, 2022

Archbishop Kligenberg and President Reiserová pose inside an Inimican nuclear arsenal

It has been announced that Inquista and Czech Slavia have agreed to form an alliance between their respective states, which will also include a defensive-pact agreement. In a statement released by the State Secretariat of Inquista, a vow was made that the "Most Blessed State of Inquista stands ready to the defend the Czech motherland and her people against any and all threats which may threaten their sovereign lands". In return, Inquista will expect Czech Slavia to protect Saint Dominico and Inquistans all the same.

The announcement of the alliance was made a mere hour after the ENAA delivered a verdict in which it agreed to award Czech Slavia with a limited nuclear weapons license, and a maximum ceiling of 200 nuclear warheads. Coincidentally, Archbishop Kligenberg, who sits on the ENAA, delivered the verdict.

Keen followers of Archbishop Kligenberg's Instagram account have pointed to a post that was made earlier in the year, where the Archbishop appears to pose inside of an Inimican nuclear arsenal with the Czech President. Inquistan political commentators have now speculated that the the alliance, as well as Czech Slavia's nuclear ambitions, have been a long contrived plan. Thus, some commentators have criticised the Archbishop for not appearing impartial while on the ENAA, while others have criticised the Archbishop for seemingly supporting nuclear proliferation, despite the Archbishop's and Inquistan Orthodox Church's strong stances against nuclear weapons.

Others, however, have welcomed the alliance with Czech Slavia. Inquista and Czech Slavia have already made agreements on several areas of cooperation, and even signed a formal declaration of friendship last year, in which the bond between Inquista and Czech Slavia was described as being an "unbreakable sisterhood". This alliance seems like a natural continuation of the deepening bonds between Inquista and Czech Slavia, which have blossomed under the watchful eyes of Archbishop Kligenberg and President Reiserová.

Unsurprising, then, that it has also been announced that President Reiserová will be awarded with the Order of Inquista, which is the highest civil and secular honour that can be awarded by the Inquistan Orthodox Church. President Reiserová will receive the honour from Archbishop Kligenberg herself, and will be inducted into an extremely small and exclusive hall of honorees.

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Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg Adopts Two More Children

May 4, 2022

The Archbishop's Palace announced the adoptions today

The Archbishop's Palace has announced that Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg has adopted two more children today.

The first of the new adoptees, a boy now-named named Tyceon, has been adopted from Nofoaga. According to the statement released by the Archbishop's Palace, Tyceon was born shortly before the volcanic disaster that destroyed much of the Nofoagan island in 2021, which led to him becoming an orphan. According to the adoption papers obtained from Tyceon's orphanage in Nofoaga, he is 14 months old, and is of mixed Black-Nofoagan background. Tyceon's birthname has been redacted in the released adoption papers.

The second new adoptee, Cyran, also a boy, is of Sahrawi background. According to Cyran's orphanage, Cyran was born to a Sahrawi war-widow in the Sahrawi Union, who fled to Inquista as a refugee in late 2019. Cyran became an orphan shortly after, when his birth mother passed away from an undisclosed illness in a refugee transition centre. According to Cyran's refugee claim, his birthdate is unknown and is simply listed as January 1st, but he is believed to be born in early 2019, and is 3 years old. The Archbishop and her fiancé were spotted visiting Cyran's orphanage several weeks ago.

The Archbishop's two new sons join her growing family, which includes her first adopted child, her daughter Alexandria, who is now 7 years old. The Archbishop adopted Alexandria in her capacity as her godmother when Alexandria's birthparents passed away in 2020, which at the time also required amendments to the Fundamental Laws of the Inquistan Orthodox Church, which previously prevented the Archbishop from having children, including adopted children, without being married.

The Archbishop has promoted adoption and concepts of a non-nuclear family throughout her time as Archbishop. Archbishop Kligenberg has spoken publicly many times in favour of adoption as a legitimate form of parenthood and against stigmas surrounding the practice. The process of adopting children has been greatly eased by the current Church administration, which has made substantial effort to simplify adoption regulations. Adopting children abroad, which was previously made almost impossible by Archbishop Cratius, has beeen equalised alongside local adoptions laws. Since legalising same-sex marriage and adoption by same-sex couples in 2020, the Archbishop and the Church have also marketed adoption to the LGBTQ community as a means to parenthood.

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[Inquista]

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Inquista Passes Significant Education Reforms; Dashes Craticist Policies

July 29, 2022

Hope Mission Secondary School in Saint Dominico

The College of Bishops has passed very drastic educational reforms, which will alter primary and secondary school curriculums and scholastic approaches. The new education reforms, which are informed by "evidence-based educational outcomes", will notably streamline and expand mandatory subjects that all students will have to learn, thereby limiting their subject choices, but ultimately lead to what is being described as "comprehensive and well-rounded" educations.

Currently, the only mandatory classes in Inquistan secondary education (Grade 9 to 12) are English, Latin, and religion, which must be taken each year, with all other classes being subjects of choice made by individual students (with 8 subjects being taken each year, divided by 2 semesters). In Inquistan primary education (junior school from Grade 1 to 4, and middle school from Grade 5 to 8), mandatory classes include general science, maths, social studies (history and geography), English, Latin, religion, physical education, with only one additional subject chosen by personal choice (7 classes are taken year-round, with Latin and the option class alternating every other day).

Changes to secondary education will see maths, at least one science (of biology, chemistry, and physics), English, Latin or a modern foreign language, religion, and an art class (theatre, dance, choir, band, visual arts, graphic design, or fashion) becoming mandatory, with only two other subjects of personal choice being permitted per year. Primary education will become completely streamlined, following the same mandatory subjects as previous, but a choice of a modern foreign language will also become an alternative to Latin, and the one subject class will have to be an art class (primary art choices will only be limited to theatre, dance, choir, band, and visual arts).

Additionally, a 'homeroom' class will take place once a week before normal school time begins for the duration of primary and secondary school. In primary school, homeroom will primarily focus on free time for students to cultivate personal interests of their choice, build social relationships with other students, play games, and participate in activities that promote communal engagement and leadership. Starting in middle school (Grade 5), homeroom will also begin teaching sexual education (currently being taught in physical education class). In secondary education, homeroom will shift focus towards cultivating life skills and preparing students for life outside of the classroom, teaching students personal accounting and bookkeeping, home economics, career and further educational planning (for example, resume writing and interviewing workshops), advanced sexual education, and so on.

Furthermore, starting in middle school and continuous throughout secondary education, students will also be expected to enroll in at least one school-related extracurricular activity or club, such as a social or special interest club, a club relating to their art subject(s), or a competitive sport.

The reforms follow a 2-year long consultation and review process, which was launched shortly after Archbishop Kligenberg appointed her Church Secretariat. The Bishop Secretary of Education, Bishop Audrey Eaton, has spearheaded what she describes as "a thorough and extensive reworking of primary and secondary education, which was moulded by an exhaustive consultation of parents, educators, Inquistan education scholars and even leading international education experts from across Europe."

According to Bishop Secretary Eaton, the reforms are predominantly aimed at ensuring that Inquistan students develop "a wider and more comprehensive knowledge base and skillset, rather than a deeper and more specialist knowledge base and skillset. It's important that Inquistan graduates leave school with advanced Grade 12-level maths and numeracy skills, at least one science, and literacy and language skills, rather than allowing students to typically specialise and corner themselves in just mostly science, or humanities, or simply art-related classes."

The Bishop Secretary also emphasised the importance of the homeroom class, involving students in extracurricular activities, and in making at least one art class mandatory.

"Education isn't simply about informing and teaching students about their specific class subjects, but it's also about preparing students for life outside of the classroom. It's important that we set them up with skills that will prepare them for the 'real world', and it's important that they leave school feeling ready to tackle their adulthood. It's also important that they feel engaged as socially-involved members of their community, and that they also foster interests besides just school, with the chance to develop their creative talents. Creative talents are just as transferable as any other scholastic skill. Inquistan education isn't just seeking to develop scholars, it’s looking to help build fully-formed individuals, who also happen to be creatives and athletes."

More controversially, however, are reforms that will be softening Craticist-era educational policies, namely changes to the science curriculums, sexual education, and Latin classes.

Inquistan science curriculums have been lambasted by the Inquistan scientific community as only "roughly based on actual science", taking aim at Archbishop Craticus' implementation of a syncretic approach to science that prioritised traditional religious and moral teachings over the scientific consensus, namely including teaching theories of creationism in further depth than theories of evolution in science classes. The new science curriculums, however, scrap this syncretic approach, and only include evolution and "evidence-based and scientifically proven information" in courses, and explicitly omit the teaching of creationism within science classrooms. Creationism shall still be taught in religion classes, but "in a way that is congruent with evolution and in a way that is generally scientifically coherent."

Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg moved to have the Inquistan Orthodox Church both acknowledge and accept evolution as the leading theory behind human development, but acknowledged that "evolution is a process that is only possible and originated with God's creation". Similarly, theories surrounding man-made contributions to climate change, acknowledged as a 'climate crisis' by the Archbishop and her Secretariat, will be included in science classrooms. The Secretariat for Environment and Climate Change earlier acknowledged in 2020 that "while Earth's climate has had historic heating and cooling periods, the current climate emergency has most certainly been forcefully exacerbated and very powerfully impacted by human activities."

"Inquista's school curriculums will be completely evidence-based and will teach precisely what the current and leading scientific consensus says," Bishop Secretary Eaton emphasised, which will also include sexual education.

Sexual education will start being taught in Grade 5, rather than in Grade 7, and will be explored in much further depth. Crucially, these classes will also be informed by the current scientific consensus, particularly surrounding contemporary understandings of sexual and gender identity expressions. Bishop Secretary Eaton further added that the new sexual education classes will be "completely comprehensive, and will be both inclusive of and relevant to those of a minority sexual or gender expression, who are currently being failed by sexual education systems. The Inquistan Orthodox Church maintains committed to equality in all facets of life, which includes education and health. The Church also maintains that LGBTQ people are made in God's image, and are equally worthy of living healthy and prosperous lives as anyone else."

Latin, Inquista's second official language, was introduced as a mandatory subject which all students had to take throughout their primary and secondary school years by Archbishop Craticus. The educational reforms now allow students to take a modern foreign language instead as an alternative of Latin if they so wish. Current popular foreign languages taken by students primarily consist of Spanish, Czech and Nicoleizian, but with these reforms, the Education Secretariat is hoping to see Inquistan students also learn other relevant foreign languages, such as French, Hassaniya (Sahrawi) Arabic and Hellenic.

With the reforms now passing the College of Bishops, they will take effect in the upcoming school new year, which begins on September 5th.

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[Inquista]

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Inquistan Orthodox Church Sidesteps Czech Nationalization Fears as Ecclesiastical Elections Loom

April 5, 2023

Bishop Secretary Silas Kligenberg has bullishly advocated for Inquistan-Czech economic ties

The College of Bishops sat in its final legislative session today before being dissolved tomorrow in preparation of Good Friday and the remainder of the Easter season. Campaigning for ecclesiastical elections, currently scheduled in May, will follow the Easter season, and is top of mind for many Inquistans. The recent announcement that Czech Slavia will be nationalizing all foreign assets in their country, with the exception of Inquistan, Yosainese, and Briekish assets, has thrown an early wrench into Inquistan election discourse, and has punctuated the last day of the College’s legislative session.

The Inquistan business community has naturally reacted rather anxiously, calling for Bishop Secretary Silas Kligenberg to intervene to save Inquistan assets, which remain on the line to be nationalized pending a deal with the Czech President for Life. The Inquistan Chamber of Commerce has denounced the effects the Czech nationalizations may have on international markets.

Bishop Secretary Kligenberg, who is the Bishop Secretary of the Treasury and Economy, the CFO of Kligenberg Industries, and considered an inside ally of the Inquistan Chamber of Commerce, has so far chosen to completely downplay the nationalization of foreign assets in Czech Slavia. The Bishop Secretary stated that he would indeed meet with the Czech President for Life to discuss a deal, but has framed the exemption of Inquistan assets from the immediate Czech nationalization strategy as a victory, has credited himself and the Archbishop for that exemption, and has opted to flatter the Czech President for Life.

“Czech Slavia and Inquista are strong economic partners and allies. Czech Slavia is free to pursue its best economic interests, just as Inquista does, and rather wisely, the best interest for both countries is continued cooperation. Her Holiness and I have always championed Inquistan economic interest and Inquistan-Czech cooperation, and we are now seeing the success of those endeavours. Inquistans have the Archbishop to thank that their assets in the Democratic Republic will not yet be nationalized. This is a win for Inquistan consumers and businesses, who have nothing to worry about, as the Czech President for Life is a very capable and intelligent lady – with a great smile, people aren’t talking about her cute smile enough – who values Inquistan partnership. We will no doubt reach a win-win deal for Inquistans and Czechs, as we always do.”

The Archbishop and Bishop Secretary’s closeness with the Czech President for Life is under deep scrutiny and has evoked mixed and divisive reactions from the Inquistan public. Those mixed reactions are only becoming more complicated, as the Inquistan-Czech relationship has bore fruit for Inquistans in some instances, but has also put the Inquistan Orthodox Church in a precarious position of supporting a government that is pursuing a doctrine of Socialist Republicanism. Critics of the Archbishop are likely to use these recent developments in Czech Slavia as a lightning-rod issue in the coming election.

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