The Republic of Blue Croatia

[Blue Croatia]

Brief history of Blue Croatia:

The Male Ego
In ancient times, the divided Croatian tribes ended their long-lasting conflict after realizing how close they were to wiping themselves out. Out of this, the Absolutist Monarchy of Red Croatia was born, named red in honor of Croatian blood that was shed as a result of Internal conflict. The newborn nation was fixated on repopulating, and in order to accomplish that they built countless temples to goddesses of sex and gave fertile women the highest status in society.

This helped make Red Croatia an incredibly powerful, vast nation that was ran by powerful, sexually dominant, desirable women with stunning features and motherly character qualities. These were the beginnings of the infamous Red Croatian diva worship.

Though most were in favor of this development, a small but significant segment was not. Most notably, this new order enraged a group of Red Croatian men that historians nicknamed the "Masc 4 Mascs."

Imma Make My Own Country, With Blackjack and Gay Porn
The Masc 4 Mascs were strictly homosexual men who despised any nation of femininity. They only wanted to perform coitus with other manly men and despised being seen as procreation tools for Red Croatian matriarchs.

Due to their astounding fitness, they effortlessly escaped Red Croatia, populated an unclaimed land, and formed a nation known as "Blue Croatia.” The founding fathers claimed they named it blue after the crystal blue waters of their newfound nation, but this was a transparent attempt to conceal the petty decision to choose the color most different to red.

In order to procreate, they used their phenomenal physical strength to raid a Germanic tribe, kill all men deemed unfuckable and chose to procreate with the manly, hairy women there. In order to differentiate themselves from the pussified Red Croats, the Blue Croats began speaking German and drew influence from the barbaric Germanic tribes they conquered and promptly fucked. To this day, learning Red Croatian is seen as appalling.

Not-So-Modern Times
Though Blue Croatia has been around for almost as long as Red Croatia, their population and influence is comically smaller. While Red Croatia is a global force known for its beauty and sensational entertainment industry, Blue Croatia’s heterophobia and sexism have been leading factors in making it a relatively small and poor nation.

For most men, sex with women is seen as purely procreational and straight men are looked down upon. They are frequently mocked and addressed with slurs like “you pussy licking straggot, go back to Red Croatia!” Women there avoid showing femininity and go out of their way to be as manly as possible. Blue Croatian women are notorious for not shaving their armpits, wearing dresses, or using makeup. Any sign of femininity is seen as a weakness, especially any form of femininity that is seen as Red Croatian. The name of the iconic Red Croatian doll, Barbie, is synonymous with the Devil’s name in Blue Croatia.

But in spite of its many problems, Blue Croatia is an absolute beast at sports (especially wrestling and anything including balls), everyone there is incredibly sexually active and there is a genuine sense of brotherhood amongst its people. The Blue Croatian people are seen as living a barbaric, hypersexual, and raw lifestyle that is often either criticized or glamorized by people from other countries.

One thing Blue Croats have in common with Red Croats is body shaming. While Red Croatia holds the world record for eating disorders and plastic surgery, Blue Croatia holds the world record for steroid use. The nation’s citizens live under intense pressure to live up to the homonormative expectations placed on them.

However, don’t tell Blue Croats they have anything in common with people hailing from their mother nation. Anything Red Croatian, especially that straggot bitch Barbie, is seen as part of the harmful Heterosexual Agenda there to destroy the glorious Republic of Blue Croatia.

Now that Blue Croatia has managed to join the European Union, they are keen on manspreading in Europolis, becoming an influential nation and showing that dumb hetero Red Croatia whose boss.