Comrades in Christ - Broadcasting Live to the USNR

[Inquista]

Bishop Karinn Lallana, live from Saint Dominico

Greetings my fellow comrades in Christ. I am Bishop Lallana. I am a bishop of the Inquistan Orthodox Church, currently broadcasting to you live from Saint Dominico, Inquista to all of you in the USNR. If you are watching on the live feed, you may mistake me for Comrade Taylor Swift. This is a common mistake, and I am deeply flattered whenever that assumption is made. Comrade Swift is a brave and steadfast defender of the proletariat. She was recently wounded in a battle for the people's cause in Reitzmag. Let us swiftly pray for Comrade Swift's swift recovery.

Dear Lord, we come humbly before You asking You to heal Taylor Swift in her time of need. We give You our collective hearts in faith that You can make Comrade Swift's leg whole again. Jesus, we believe that You are our healer and redeemer. We collectively praise Your name. Amen.

Now, you may be watching or listening to this broadcast with skepticism. Many of you in the USNR may not believe in Our Lord. Or, perhaps, you're questioning. Or maybe you're a Catholic who has been corrupted by greed, envy and hate towards your fellow man and particularly against your fellow women. Luckily Our Lord is very compassionate, kind and forgiving. You can all be redeemed. Renounce your blasphemy and accept Our Lord and Her Son Jesus Christ into your hearts. Join the rest of the Lord's children in the Inquistan Orthodox Church.

You have no reason be skeptical of the Lord. If your beliefs or ideology don't lead you to love more or to show more compassion to others, then it's not a belief or ideology worth having. Believing in Christ is a belief worth having. There is nothing more radical than the teachings of Our Lord and Her Son Jesus Christ, who taught to us to love and to be compassionate to everyone. Jesus was a member of the proletariat, like all of us. He was born in a humble stable. Jesus fought for liberation and for freedom, and he stood against oppression. That was God's will. God made mankind in Her image. God is a worker, and She made us all Her fellow workers. The proof is in the pudding. God worked very hard on the first day, creating light. On the second day, She worked to create the atmosphere. On the third day, She made the Earth’s soil and its plants. On the fourth day, She made the sun, the moon and the stars. On the fifth day, She made birds and all the sea creatures. On the sixth day, She made humans and all the land animals. Then on the seventh day, She had some rest, because She – like all of us, who She made in Her image – needed some rest. But it’s clear that God is a worker. A very hard worker. She understands the value of labour and how its organization is the foundation of all creations.

Now, let me read from Genesis. Ahem. “And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth’.”

Let us pray as we reflect on that verse from Genesis. Oh Lord, we thank You for being a hard worker. We thank You for blessing us with productivity and the means of production. We promise You, our Lord, that we will maximize production but also take rest when we need it. Amen.

Let us now sing a hymn about God’s solidarity with the proletariat. We shall listen to God Is A Dancer by our comrades in Christ, DJ Tiësto and Mabel.

A beautiful hymn. Did you pay attention to the words closely? “God is a dancer 'cause I heard on the radio… And She always goes harder… She's keepin' you on your toes… Perfectly focused… Lost in the moment… Ooh-na-na-na-na-na.” Beautiful.

I always find myself quite tired after a good dance. Our Lord dances beautifully and dances hard, just like us who She made in Her perfect image. As the lyrics say, She always goes harder. She’s perfectly focused. That’s why we can’t lose focus and we have to always be ready and vigilant against capitalist and Catholic corruption.

Now, yesterday was the Annunciation. The Annunciation was when Archangel Gabriel popped by to visit the Blessed Virgin Mary and told her that she would conceive and become the mother of Jesus Christ, the Son of the Lord. God beautifully designed women to conceive Her children, and She tasked a particularly important woman with the most important duty of all: to conceive God’s own Son. The Blessed Virgin Mary was not only the biological mother of Christ, but she was also a compassionate rock Jesus could rely on, an advisor Jesus could trust and someone Jesus could always count on. Women are the foundation of human society. Yet, today we see women treated horrendously, particularly by the greediness of capitalism. Capitalist economies expects women to be perfect, on-demand mothers who are also non-stop workers and corporate slaves. These things are never expected of men. Across Europe and the World, women are not given the workplace benefits or the maternity leave rights they deserve. This is why women everywhere are not having children. Women must unfairly choose between economic survival or womanhood. Only through economic liberation and a compassionate state, can women achieve the independence that God intended women to have.

However, what’s worse, is how the Catholic Church totally subordinates women. Women should be allowed to be serve Her Church. That is why the one and only true church, the Inquistan Orthodox Church, allows women such as myself to become bishops in service to the Lord.

Now, let us sing another hymn, God Is a Woman, by comrade in Christ, Ariana Grande.

A lovely hymn. God is a woman. Well, God really has no sex or gender. However, God is reflected in all of us, including women. Like I said earlier, God made us all in Her image. Or His image. They made us all in Their image. It doesn’t matter. We are all perfectly designed and we must cherish and respect those designs equally. We must respect those designs by treating all genders equally, and women definitely deserve more respect in that regard. Our Church, the Inquistan Orthodox Church, stands in solidarity with the Blessed Virgin Mary, mothers, women working everywhere, and women currently being oppressed by the Catholic Church. Let us pray.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Another woman who needs prayer is Paloma Faith, who has fallen to despicable forces which have corrupted her mind. We rebuke Paloma Faith and her corrupt Ministry of Eurovoice. Join me again in prayer.

O’ Most Glorious Prince of the Heavenly Armies, St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in the battle and in our wrestling against principalities and powers against the rulers of the world of this darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in the high places. Come to the aid of men, whom God created incorruptible, and to the Image of Her own Likeness She made him; and from the tyranny of the devil She bought him at a great price.

Thank you all for joining me for this special sermon. Please join me again this Sunday for our regular service. All Inquistan Orthodox churches are currently operating throughout the USNR without any disruptions. Please feel free to attend one. Half of all tithes will be distributed among the workers of the Church, while the other half will go towards painting all of beautiful churches red - the Lord's favourite colour.

May you all go in peace, my comrades in Christ. Have a blessed day.