News Media of Istkalen
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The Totalitarian State in Eastern Haane
It is of no use to hide anymore. They have surrounded us; we are either to die by starvation or at the hands of those demons, those soldiers.
I am the Speaker of the Forest Brothers, and I must report what has happened.
The Reitzmic forces have set up a totalitarian state apparatus. They know and see everything. You cannot hide from them, nor can you run from them. They will find you, and they will kill you.
From what we know, drones are everywhere, looking into the homes of people, boring their way through every last square centimeter of the forests and the plains. They would know even if a single blade of grass fell.
It is thus that they monitor those few people who are under their control. They, as far as we can tell, must conform to the Reitzmic expectations. If they are seen doing anything that could be construed as opposing the occupation, they are killed brutally, with excessive force.
Not even the sea is free of this control. It is regularly patrolled, regularly watched, so that nothing may come in and nothing may come out. It is an impenetrable wall of sorts, constructed to ensure that none chafing under the grip of the totalitarian Reitzmic state may escape.
These demons - demons, for their terror is beyond anything that any human could do - these demons must be removed from the country at all cost, lest freedom die forever. This will be terrifyingly difficult, for we have found that they truly know everything. If you even think of opposing them, they will find you quickly, and they will kill you without mercy. Physical destruction means nothing to them; they have prepared for every contingency.
Even now, as I sit in this walk-in closet in the dark, afraid even to breathe, they have already found me and my dying compatriots. They are outside, tempting us like the demons they are, trying to get us to leave our hiding place so that they may rip us into pieces.
But they are not the only totalitarian force in Eastern Haane. Many people abroad, as far as I can tell from the little I know, believe that there is no order in Eastern Haane. This is untrue. There is an order, terrifying beyond all else. It is an ultra-democratic order, being very literally the expression of the will of the people. It is an order that knows no moral bounds, an order that is out for revenge. It destroys all that is outside of it with a calculated ruthlessness. The brutality of it is so shocking that it seems as though it is entirely removed from civilization. But it is not. It is simply a sort of poetic justice, in a place where the people believe they are in Hell and thus do not have moral bounds upon them all, and are thus, at the very least, free to seek revenge.
The basis of this order, thus, is terror. Everything that it organizes that is not directly related to the terror is meant simply to sustain it. The infrastructural projects, for example, are being built with an admirable efficiency, determination, and democracy; yet it only exists for it is necessary to sustain the life of those participating in the terror.
The Haanean Empire is also totalitarian, but it is so typical of that type that one does not even have to describe it.
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The people return to the cities following the execution of Areai
Josephine Areai was publicly executed yesterday after a major mutiny in her territory, caused by an attempt to begin a mass purge.
Today, the communes and syndicates, established by the soldiers' and workers' councils, have begun the process of 'repatriating' citizens from the collectives to their homes in the cities, an decision met with great joy by the populace. Immediately, a great exodus began, with thousands, perhaps even tens of thousands of people, simply marching along the roads and plains to their former homes, in a process that took several hours.
However, the vast majority of the two million deportees have not yet returned. The plan released by the Governing Council, with the consent of all communes and syndicates, has spaced the return out across two weeks, during which specific numbers of people will be returned each day, chosen by lottery, with exceptions made for families, who will not be separated.
However, there does exist a major problem. Kiel, from which about 200,000 deportees come from, remains in the hands of an occupying force, although this will likely end soon.
This has, however, resulted in a number of protests, which will likely be held for an hour every morning and night.
A resistance left from the Areai regime continues to fight in isolated areas in the countryside; they are few in number, and will likely be soon defeated.
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MILITARY COUP: Government forced to become parliamentary democracy
On the night of the 6th, the Presidium of the Congress of Soldiers' Councils, meant to be disestablished with the end of the Great Haanean Revolution (not to be confused with the May, August, or September Revolutions), secretly ordered members of the military to impose a temporary state of martial law, lasting twelve hours. A strict curfew was put into place; the regular morning meetings were not allowed to convene, save for a period of ten minutes today when they were made to come out as to approve a hastily written constitution, drafted by the Presidium in the matter of six hours.
Under threat of death, citizens were forced to wave through motions of debate, before voting unanimously to approve the constitution.
This approval, once reported to by all units to the Presidium, was followed by the following declaration, made to an audience forcefully gathered in the central square of the now re-occupied Kiel by the former Speaker Kalju Aasmäe, also a member of the Presidium and complicit in the coup:
"Comrades! I hereby declare, acting as the representative of the Haanean people, that the People's Republic of Eastern Haane has been established!"
The national anthem, The Internationale, was then played from speakers taken from the collective farms that were formerly used to blast religious hymns in praise of Areai.
The Constitution in its entirety was then read out to those gathered. Many screamed when they found out that elections would be held only once every two years, rather than every four months; others fell down, writhing in apparent pain, when they heard of the "National Assembly," the unicameral legislature of the People's Republic elected by proportional representation.
Perhaps the worst part of it, however, was the declaration that political parties would serve as the central link between the state and the people. A great wail rose from the audience; many attempted to cut themselves with sharp objects they had on hand.
Many attempted to attack Aasmäe; a barbed wire fence, made of materials hastily collected from Areai's death camps, where people were buried alive hundreds at a time, stopped them.
The constitution establishes an assembly-independent federal republic, operating on the basis of consensus between so-called "syndicates," mimicking those of the Areai regime, represented in a "Syndical Congress," which would not be a legislature but instead an organization for "the harmonization of the syndicates with each other and with the national interest and spirit."
The National Assembly would elect the State Counsellor of the People's Republic every four months. It would have no power to write legislation of its own; it would only be able to approve or veto statutes sent from the State Counsellor.
The State Counsellor, with the confidence of the National Assembly, would appoint a number of ministers as to form the Government. The Government would be headed by a "First Minister," whose only responsibility would be to guide and unify the rest of the Government.
Advising the State Counsellor would be a number of "Chambers," also mimicking those of Areai. These Chambers would have the power both to advise when asked and to provide advice when not; they would also be able to propose possible legislation to the President,.
The Syndicates would form the most important part of the system. Responsible for all legislation alongside the National Assembly, they would have a level of autonomy, over affairs "not related to the national interest," to be decided by the National Assembly; however, they would be strictly limited in this by a "National Plan" developed by the Syndical Congress in conjunction with the State Counsellor and the National Asssembly. At the same time, statutes passed by the Syndical Congress would alter all those at a lower level. All law passed by them would be enforced by "regional courts," appointed by governors appointed by the State Counsellor.
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Support for new People's Republic grows as communes, workers' councils included into state; ievonuia plant found to have survived fire at Essen Casltle
The new People's Republic, initially highly unpopular as a result of its status as a liberal democracy, has now integrated the communes and the workers' councils into its apparatus, resulting in increased popularity.
The syndicates, long awaited, as well as the chambers, are both to be elected and managed by the workers' councils, which are also to serve as the executive of the law of the nation.
The communes, meanwhile, will have the power simply to manage local matters, including the maintenance of apartment buildings and city commons.
While both of these have been stripped of much of their power, their inclusion in the People's Republic has caused support for it to rise. In general, people across the area held by the People's Republic seem much more eager to participate in elections, with several political parties even able to have been formed, including the new Communist Party, Party of Labor, Party of Liberation, Party for the People, Communist Workers' Party, Workers' Party, Party for Decentralization, Socialist Party, Social Democratic Party, Liberal Socialist Party, Haanean Socialist Party, Solidarist Party, National Party, and the Party for the Unity of the Nation, all of which will participate in the upcoming elections.
Meanwhile, the forces of Eastern Haane have been able to move through the "Death Zone," the area destroyed by the previous conflict and now "overrun" with the insane.
According to reports from the area, there was exceedingly little resistance. Bodies, however, in various states of decay, were found everywhere. In the fields, they were littered everywhere, rotting, remnants of a foam still dripping from their decayed mouths, flies and other animals running across, sometimes eating, their flesh.
Piles of bones were found near ruined collective farms, some with bits of flesh still on them; some of these were reported to be over four meters in height.
In the cities, mass graves could be found everywhere. Bodies were stuffed into gutters and stormdrains; those who were alive could be seen convulsing in the street.
There were no intact buildings to be found; all had been reduced to rubble. Hastily constructed huts replaced them, sprawling throughout the countryside. Most had collapsed; within could be found dead, mangled bodies, themselves rotting.
The Governing Council, which shall continue to serve in an executive role until elections, has stated that no one will be allowed to return to the area until it has been rebuilt.
Forces managed to reach Rosa-Luxemburg Stadt, devastated like all others, within five hours; there, they entered the Essen Castle, where a strange plant, taking the shape of a large, floating mat and unlike any other on Earth, was said to have lived before being killed. Most of it was dead; however, remnants of it, some of which were quite large, were found in the lower and higher levels of the Castle.
The area will remain protected.
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Constitutional reform establishes parliamentary governance, nationalizes business
Constitutional reform passed today is to strip legislative power from the State Counsellor and give it to the National Assembly, while at the same time abolishing the Syndical Congress wholesale, in an attempt to create a new political system.
This new system will, first and foremost, abolish workers' self management, instead creating a centralized nationalized system based on that that exists in Austria. This was met with widespread support, as the complete collapse of industry in Eastern Haane is largely thought to necessitate a temporary re-instatement of a limited capitalist system.
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The last Catholic priest in Eastern Haane turns 115, promotes integralism
The last Catholic priest in Eastern Haane, known as being one of the few people born in the territory of Eastern Haane before its foundation as a state to be living, turned 115 last Sunday at one of the disbanded concentration camps of Areai.
Without any of the elements necessary, Mass could not be held; however, the nine known surviving Catholics in Eastern Haane were present.
After a short announcement, the priest made a short statement.
"This...this country, it has had a long, tortured, and godless existence. It has gone without order for long, ever so long. Now we see, for the final time, the wages of this, of this disobedience, of this sin. Now we know; and now we must act, act to end this, and bring the natural law, the natural order, to this depraved and fallen country. His law, His order, is supreme, and we must bring it to this Earth, integrate it both into the state and the people. Integralism now! Society is His, law is His, everything is His! We must respect that! The hierarchy He has created must remain, the law that He has created must remain, all must remain without alteration! All society must be aligned perfectly with the One Holy, Apostolic, and Catholic Church! Perfectly! Without alteration!"
The nine Catholics clapped; none others did. Many jeered, some throwing stones at the priest, who simply smiled, saying "God shall reward you for your actions!"
The priest's statement is entirely at odds with his previous rhetoric, which was closer to a form of guild socialism, and is a terrifying example of the resurgence of fascism in an Eastern Haane entirely destroyed.
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Reform and opening: Interim government announces new economic policy
As Eastern Haane rebuilds from the destruction of the Great Haanean Revolution, a near 7 month period during which every institution in the country was entirely destroyed and over half of the population fled the country, the current interim government, installed after a coup that destroyed the existing "People's State," replacing it with a more traditional parliamentary republic, has announced the advent of a new and more capitalistic economic policy.
"Eastern Haane has regressed," said the current State Counsellor Kalju Aasmae, "into a pre-industrial state. As such, it no longer has the capacity to support a true socialist system. As such, we are forced to turn back to a moderately capitalist system - one that still remains under the control of the people, to an extent - as to rebuild the industrial base, as to rebuild socialism."
The new economic policy will essentially re-establish the pre-revolutionary system of guilds, which would be democratic institutions, divided by trade and profession, that would have control over almost all aspects of the economy. It would provide capital for businesses - either state-owned, cooperative, or small - while at the same time regulating welfare as well as professional standards and norms.
They will send representatives to a "social parliament," which will advise the National Assembly.
The new system has been reacted to angrily, as a return to the proto-fascism of the solidarists. The government has not made a response; a protest against the policy is to be held tomorrow, in front of the interim government building, located in the well-known farm where Areai's government hid after the liberation of Kiel during one of the most intense phases of the Revolution.
"We cannot tolerate this deviation," said one of the protest's organizers. "It is against the principles for which we struggled under threat of death for so long!"
In reaction, the sole Catholic priest in Eastern Haane, the Reverend Father Jean-Pierre Antoine has stated the following:
"I applaud the return, although temporary, of Eastern Haane to humanistic and Catholic principles. However, it must completely forfeit its ideas of materialism, of socialism, which are disgusting and prohibit the people from reaching their true happiness; their true potential. It must become moral and upright; must adhere to the principles and the law of God."
Those who have not joined the conflict are worried of yet another outburst of extreme violence, the last of which resulted in the total destruction of much of the south, mass killings, famine, displacement, and internment in mass work camps.
Updates
About 5/8 of the deported have returned to their homes. The remainder remain in the camps as new housing is constructed.
12 factories have been re-opened. All have transitioned to additive manufacturing - according to the government, this is a part of their attempt to "restore socialism" by creating a "union through neo-artisan labor."
An additional 144 apartment buildings are to be opened in the following week. Constructed quickly based upon a newly developed technique, each is made of prefabricated concrete panels. Housing units are small but adequate; kitchens, dining rooms, and lounges will be communal. At this time, the buildings do not have running water or electricity.
Water and electricity have been restored in "Old" Skagen.
Remaining members of government of State of Haane-Keste meet in ancient capital, now in ruins.
Memorial opened at "Field of Blood," where hundreds died in defence of their homeland against the Reitzmic menace.
Remains of Areai arrive in Kiel; are spat on.
Advances in south of the country made against the People's Assemblies; Mulhouse to be reached in a matter of weeks.
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The instability continues as People's Assembly returns to cannibalistic practices
The Union of Syndicates has not yet recovered from the events of 1993, which devastated the country The People's Assemblies, complicit in mass killings of politicians at the time, as well as the enslavement and murder of their own countrymen, continue their second descent into insanity. Incidents of cannibalism were reported from the 36th district of Kiel. According to eyewitnesses, the People's Assembly in question was conducting a "raid" on "a nest of counter-revolutionaries;" in reality, a nursing home.
"They took," said a nurse, "they took...them from their beds. I was their friend, you see. I played with them, took care with them when they were sick. I truly loved them. But these monsters, they dragged these people down the halls, laughing as they screamed. I was made to go with them; to watch their sufferings. Those things, they whispered in my ear, told me that these people were demons, that I myself was one; that they were unworthy of life but that I might be saved. And do...do you know what they did, these abominations? They tied me to a tree, forced me to watch as they tortured the elderly and many of my colleagues. They burnt them with irons, stabbed them with knives, peeled their skin off and poured salt on their wounds. And while these poor people slowly died, these thugs danced, screaming and laughing crazily, as though it was all a game. They untied me after an hour, an hour of screaming and death, and of this horrific and disgusting celebration. They gave me a knife, and told me to emasculate [a colleague]. I refused. They began to beat me; they carved a bit of my flesh out, skewered it, cooked over a fire they had lit to keep their irons hot, and ate it. I gave in. I can't remember anything after that."
She would at this point break down into tears.
This repetition of the events of 1993 have shocked many across the country. A woman, reported to have been a member of her district's governing council and a survivor of 1993 and 1994, was seen screaming unintelligibly in the street outside her apartment building. According to her daughter, "she was shocked by the events; she sobbed, she screamed, she shouted for help, for mercy; she began to break down, her words becoming ever less understandable. She staggered out; I ran after her, but she would not come back. She collapsed in the street, trying to reach for something, I don't know what, as she screamed. It's all so horrible, I wish it would end."
Such things, since the release of initial reports on the incident, have become almost commonplace. The College of Psychiatrists, the sub-syndicate responsible for psychiatry, claims to have received a massive uptick in appointments and visits as related hotlines became overloaded. Municipal councils are currently conducting house-to-house wellness checks in an attempt to assuage fears that the horrors of 1993 may return.
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Referendum on new constitution 12 June 2021; whispers of mass expulsion
The Federal Council today finished its work on the new constitution it has been preparing since the declaration of a state of emergency in 2011. The Workers' Congress, in which, for the first time in ten years, indirectly elected officials, selected by the many sub-syndicates and colleges of the Union, sat, approved the text for referendum unanimously in what amounted to a ceremonial vote.
A statement from the Union of Dissidents was released criticizing the vote: "We are deeply concerned regarding the passage of the draft constitution in the Workers' Congress. We believe it to be in violation of present constitutional standards, and suspect that it may have been held under duress. The constitution itself, however, appears to be perfectly legitimate."
A legislator for "non-affiliated" independent workers and cooperatives made the following response: "The vote was procedural; we did not approve the constitution. We simply gave it to the people, to the citizens, to approve it. I see nothing suspect or strange about this, nor do I see why anyone else would believeeg such a thing."
The referendum will be held on 12 June 2021. Everyone over the age of 18 who is not a member of the "local militias" or the People's Assemblies and is considered "able to vote' may vote.
The constitution itself disestablishes the unpopular "linguistic" assemblies, vesting power in a unicameral "Workers' Congress." The Workers' Congress, as was under the constitution of 1916, remains composed of 100 delegates from each of the ten main syndicates, thus being composed of 1000 delegates. However, there also exist two "preparatory" assemblies, which will debate but not vote on the content of legislation:
- the Economic Assembly, composed of ten delegates each from the FAWS, FACG, FPA, FTWA, FLS, FOWC, and FONAILC.
- the Cultural Assembly, composed of ten delegates each from the FACG, FPA, and FCU
The Federal Council will continue in its current role as a mediator; however, it will no longer possess an absolute veto, nor will it have the power to issue decrees. 10 of its members will be elected by the country's 10 syndicates; one will be elected by the country as a whole. It will be renamed the Council of the Union.
The judiciary at all levels will be appointed by the College of Barristers and other affiliated and related sub-syndicates. At the federal level, there are three courts: the Court of Labor, which deals with labor disputes, the General Court, which deals with civil and criminal law, and the Constitutional Court, which deals with constitutionality. Syndicates may decide how their own courts are laid out, so long as there remains a division between labor, constitutional, and civil/criminal law.
Political parties remain unable to participate in the political system; they are essentially prohibited from any sort of political activity. Only individual candidates, who must amass at least 10,000 signatures to run, may do so. A new regulatory body has been established as to ensure that they are competent.
Syndicates may essentially legislate on all that affecting only their own members that has not been legislated on by the federal government; legislation the federal government passes overrules that of syndical government, save regarding political institutions. Federal legislation may be repealed if the legislatures of at least 7 syndicates vote to do so.
Executive power will continue to be held by the syndicates.
In other news, there have been rumors of a mass expulsion of terrorists to come. Seven years ago, a large area in the south of the country was decreed the "Independent Territory" by the Federal Councils; those living there were evacuated. A year later, the deportations of high-level terrorists to the area began.
In recent days, especially following the violent attack on the nursing home of Kiel's 36th district, some claim that a mass expulsion of terrorists to the "Independent Territory" will begin, thus allowing for the peaceful holding of the planned referendum and, if passed, elections to the new institutions.
These rumors have not been substantiated; however, they have led to widespread rejoicing, with many planning "liberation parties" for the day when the terrorists are expelled completely.
"I can hardly wait!" said 86 year old Greta Schulz. "For too long we have lived in terror; when they are gone - when they are gone! - we will be free!"
Others are more cynical.
"It," said an individual who wishes to remain anonymous, "[the violence of 1993] will return. We will surely all die!"
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Workers' Congress debates "return to 1834"
Yesterday, a joint meeting of the provisional Cultural and Economic Assemblies of the Workers' Congress began to debate a possible "return to 1834." Long wanted by anti-colonialists, who argue that the establishment of the Union was a continuation of the colonialism of the occupying powers, such a return would entail the revision of existing economic structures as to decentralize the economy, placing greater emphasis on independent workers and local branches of "colleges" - the legal term for what are more commonly known as sub-syndicates.
The inspiration is from the system of 1834 - that is, the State of the Haane at the time of its final fall, in which the economy was managed primarily through quasi-religious organizations which regulated the work of artisans, farmers, professionals, those who provided social services, and the burgeoning sector of those who worked in industry. Workers were regarded not as parts of a collective as they are now, nor as cogs in a greater company as they are elsewhere, but as individuals in their own - artists who were supposed to have an almost mystical knowledge of their "craft," which itself was tied to a religious "aspect" or "force," and were supposed to communicate these to newly "entered" individuals, who would have "passed" from the "realm of the force of development and innocence" into their new "realm" of the force with which their new vocation was affiliated with. Their work was generally governed by two principles:
- tradition - unwritten knowledge passed down from "elders"
- written law - decided by the total body of "independent and learned" workers in a certain locality and synchronized through the sending of delegates to a greater council, to be moderated by the "King" (original European translation) or the "State Elder" (modern translation).
Collective work was governed by the "college" of all workers in a vocation in a local community; individual work similarly, but to less of an extent due to its nature.
The argument made by those who wish to re-instate it is that it would "counteract" what they refer to as "the continuing legacy of colonization before 1993, while serving to negate the genocidal regime of Areai." Their reasoning? The current system, according to them, remains influenced by the Convention of 1916, which did not include indigenous representatives and instead forced a constitution on them, believing them to be uncivilized. They wish to remove these influences as to "achieve justice."
Those against argue that it would be more inefficient, and that the current system, which has attempted to find a middle way between total return to 1834 and total return to 1992, is fine as it is, having propelled the country towards food stability and democracy. They currently hold a narrow majority; however, several claim that they are "willing" to concede to the other side.
Debate will continue until at least the 22nd.
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President of the GCNCD Kalju Aasmäe gives unseasonal speech at Martyrs' Field; New Society reforms likely to continue in light of likely failure of "return to 1834"
The President of the Grand Council of the National College of Defense, Kalju Aasmäe, today gave a speech at the Martyrs' Field outside of Old Kiel, less than two kilometers from the Airport.
"This is unusual, I know," he began, acknowledging the bizarreness of the event. Generally, such speeches are given only on the 30th of September - Martyrs' Day - considered one of the most important dates in the country's history, following Labor Day (May 1) and the Day of Liberation (8th August).
"Yet," he continued, "it remains important to recognize the sacrifices of the hundreds who died here. I knew many of them very well; their lives were cut short. But they were willing to stand up, stand against a force that stood to take away the freedoms of our nation that have existed as an integral part of it for thousands of years. They gave their lives in the service of liberty and independence; died for the country we live in and its principles, which we continue to hold dear over twenty-seven years later.
I will not mimic the cries of Areai's cronies, who told you to give up your own lives in the service of some vacuous and truly terrible future to come. I will not mimic their attempts to stir you up into anger, misdirected anger against the outside world, an anger that would have at the very end killed us all.
It is not your responsibility to die for your nation. But as citizens, you do have responsibilities. You must stand up for your rights, which are yours unalienably. If anyone ever tries to take them away, it is your responsibility to fight for yourselves. Not for the nation, not for some 'leader,' not for an ideology. For your freedom, and your freedom alone.
We are in this day faced with numerous threats to this freedom. One day, as I had to, as our fallen comrades had to, we may be forced to again rise up in arms for them.
But that is not today; we may, nay, must hope that such a day never comes. War is brutal; even in the shortest of battles, I saw the deaths of so many, too many, their bodies torn apart, charred black, unrecognizable, or pale, blood trickling from their terrible wounds and onto the dark soil of the forest.
But we must be prepared; be always prepared."
He would continue with such exhortations for the next thirty minutes before answering questions from the audience. Many question his reasoning as well as that of the remainder of the Grand Council, who would have been responsible for approving and organizing the event.
"Useless, useless," said an individual who wishes to remain unnamed. "We hope for a bright future; and he must go there and make these vague - I'm not sure what to call them - predictions? threats? In any case, I don't see the point."
Another person was more pessimistic. "I tell you, they are planning to start a war," she said. "They itch to do so; they want to show off our power even though we have none. Crazy, all of them. Crazy."
In other news, the New Society reforms of the previous Federal Council, which champion a middle way between "1834" and "1916" are likely to stay in place, following the defection of a large block of previous supporters of the "return to 1834."
"We were in discussion," stated a legislator who wishes to remain unnamed. "And the people who proposed the return showed themselves to be absolutely insane. Bizarre religious rants, some sort of mystical philosophy - although perhaps that is the wrong phrase, it seemed to me more as though some very odd and slightly religious interpretation of Marx - all of it was contained in their so-called defense of their plans. I am ashamed to have ever supported the "return." It remains imperative, however, that the legacy of colonization and discrimination is recognized. I will agree to nothing without an assurance of this."
The previously narrow majority that those opposing the return has now grown significantly, now approaching near 2/3rds of the deliberative joint assembly and thus enough to dismiss the proposals entirely.
However, the President of the assembly has shown themself as being strongly against such a dismissal.
"The proposals of the return are well within their rights as legislators to propose what they did," they said in a statement yesterday. "While I may disagree with them personally, I do not feel comfortable with outright dismissing what they have to say at this stage. Debate will continue for the time allotted."
It is unlikely that the 3/4ths majority needed to overturn a refusal of the President will be accrued; the majority of those who continue to support the return are hardliners.
"We will never give up in the fight against colonization. No matter what these people say, no matter what they call us, we will not concede," one said in a statement this morning.
Despite this, legislation addressing the issue will likely not be drawn up; there is not enough support in the assembly to allow for such a thing.
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Grand Council of the National College of Defense "abolished" following growing worries within forces; Admiral Kujna Weaver Iahela arrested
The High Assembly of the National College of Defense recalled all members of the GCNCD following demands from many to do so.
According to many, the Grand Council has recently become unusually unstable, spouting bizarre conspiracy theories and acting in unusually paranoid ways.
An individual close to Admiral Kujna Weaver Iahela, an influential member of the Council until her recall and arrest today, claimed that she had believed in several bizarre conspiracy theories surrounding a minister in the Czech government.
"She came up to me one day," said he, "and simply told me that [the minister] was part of a secret cabal within the Czech government that was plotting to destroy our culture from the outside. She claimed that the art that they sold emitted rays that would gradually brainwash anyone who came near them into subservience and stupidity, and that the purpose of this was to subsume the Haanean and Syndical people into their country as to be slaves for them, so that Silas Kligenberg, who apparently was wearing the skin of Albína Reiserová as to pretend to be her and to puppet the Czech nation, could produce enough and sacrifice enough people as to 'rejuvenate' - I don't know - I think it was that crazy old Spanish lady who posted in the Europolis Post a while ago? - because according to her, she is the head of Spain and Spain is not a country but rather a demon that pretends to be a country as to possess people, including Silas Kligenberg - who was not actually possessed but rather was a creation of Spain the demon, but at the same time also a regular human - except for the crazy old lady, who apparently is Satan in human form. This rejuvenation was necessary because Satan was not Satan but rather "Satan" - I don't know what the difference is, it exists only in her demented mind - and thus apparently needed to consume the "world-spirit" in order to continue living. It got worse. She then claimed that Harriet Copala was also a demon, but not from Satan but from the "outer darkness," and thus apparently was a plague on "the world spirit." She said that Copala and the crazy old Spanish lady were in a war, but that it wasn't actually a war but rather a friendly competition, and that when the Haanean and Syndical people had been turned into slaves, the Spanish demon would rise up from the sea and everyone would forget about the existence of Spain, and then the crazy old lady would kill everyone on Earth before merging with Copala to kill God and make everything hell, but that this would only happen if she dreamt about unicorns, and that the unicorns were demons and that children were slowly being sucked into the Spain-demon by believing in them, so she needed to organize a mass exorcism of the Earth, which involved the blood of Silas Kligenberg being mixed with ievonuia as to create what she called an "elimination," which would "destroy all things due to its neutrality."'
Similar stories were told by others close to other members of the Grand Council.
With these now in the open, many began to put into question the ability of those on the Council to serve in their roles, as well as their very sanity. A mass petition began for their recalls, garnering thousands of signatures overnight; this morning, the Assembly acted upon it and voted simply to remove them in a vote that took under an hour.
No replacements have yet been named; the Speaker of the Assembly has said that the majority believes that the institution of the Grand Council, which concentrates power into the hands of just five individuals, is dangerous.
"Military power must not be centralized," he said. "If it is, we end up in situations like this, or, even worse, with a coup on our hands."
A resolution affirming this has been proposed in the Assembly; it will be debated beginning tomorrow.
More worryingly, it has been discovered that the aforementioned Admiral Kujna Weaver Iahela may have been plotting a coup. According to associates, she believed that the government was not acting upon her worries regarding the "Czech cabal", "Copala the extra-universal plague", and the "demon Spain," as she had sent the current State Elder, Kalju Lepik, a letter on the subject which had never been replied to.
Lepik claims to have received the letter; however, he asserts that it was not comprehensible.
"Lines of scribbling, that is what it was. I have a scan of it; I could send it to you if you wished," he said. "And by scribbling, I mean scribbling - as in the sort of thing a three year old with a crayon would do. That is not an exaggeration - it was composed in crayon and appeared to have been eaten at some point. In any case, even if it did convey what she claims it did convey, it would have remained absolute nonsense."
Iahela denies this, claiming that her letter was perfectly comprehensible.
"I wrote it in all four languages of our nation," she said. "One copy for each language. All the words were carefully chosen as to be as simple but as precise as possible. It is very difficult to convey what I have discovered about the world; however, I was able to do so. And this man, this ridiculous man, claims that it is scribbling in crayon. He evidently has been possessed by Spain; I would be happy to perform an exorcism."
Iahela went on to describe the necessity of pushing Lepik from power.
"We cannot have a puppet of the demon Spain at the head of our nation, the sole bulwark against the total takeover of the Carillo-Copala ultra-demonic-satanic complex of evil that is to come if the dominion of the unicorns is allowed to solidify itself. It was my responsibility to oust him. And I tried to. I commandeered a vehicle, several weapons, and drove myself to the Hall of State."
Iahela did in fact do so; she drove through the doorway of the building before continuing to do so down the hallway, cackling maniacally while screaming in what appeared to be an undiscovered foreign language.
"I was taking paperwork to the Elder of the National College of Communications," said a secretary present at the scene. "And suddenly I heard the sound of a car from behind me. Someone screamed, 'Get out! Get out! The woman's crazy,' and of course I ran away from the hallway and back into my workstation. The car came closer; I could hear cackling, the type that parrots make. And then a stream of gibberish:' Luj nuk a vijun shikats, rutivan liran u julav, funli an ujk, tsayak!' she screamed. I can remember it very clearly; the scene was surreal, almost comedic. There was some sort of panic, and a few minutes later the gibberishing woman was dragged out of the building continuing to scream incoherently by members of the militia."
Iahela is to stand trial for her attempted coup tomorrow.
"Good riddance," said the State Elder. "A truly crazy woman. Only the spirits know why she did what she did."
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Mass hysteria; KWI broken out of prison as devoted followers attempt to go to Spain
With EPA-adjacent candidate Walter Cocx near victory, and the councillor for the Union going on a bizarre legislation spree, mass hysteria has broken out across the nation as worries of coming European instability and potentially war spread.
Shortages are commonplace; stampedes have been reported as citizens attempt to take as much as possible from communal stores of food and other materials.
A woman was seen screaming hysterically as she ran from a communal kitchen in the 12th district of Kiel:
"I have it all, I have it all! All, all, all! Yes, yes! Aaaaaaalll!" she was heard screaming, carrying fourteen large bags filled with various non-perishables, including several open bags of flour which were spilling onto the floor.
In the Rural Territories, citizens were seen fleeing from their homes into the forest, carrying sacks of their belongings, as well as some of their harvest. Unlike those in the cities, they appeared to be relatively calm, walking instead of running in a stampede, with many helping each other in their apparent exodus.
"We don't have very much time," said a man. "We need to leave our towns if we are to survive what is to come. If we hide ourselves in the depths of the wood, they will never find us, never attack us. We will be safe. Uncomfortable, alone; perhaps; but we have a chance of surviving."
He would run off as to catch up with his husband, who had by then gone far ahead.
Back to the city, however, some of the hysterical rallied around the figure of the former admiral Kujna Weaver Iahela, arrested after attempting a coup on the basis of bizarre conspiracy theories, a large mob forcibly freeing her.
"She predicted it all!" an individual in the mob screamed.
The mob would carry Weaver-Iahela on their backs for almost two kilometers to a public square, where she addressed them:
"The Spanish demon, Satan and the extra-universal plague; they must, must be defeated if we are to achieve victory! Kill them all, kill them! They must be burnt, they must be purified in the force of God on Earth, if they are to be driven from the world that their dirty hands are extended around, our pure world which they have darkened and dirtied! Kill them! Kill them!"
Many of those in the crowd began to repeat her words, before running off, seemingly in a daze, in the direction of the airport. They would there attempt to book flights for Spain; fortunately, however, all were stopped.
The threat, however, remains great. All planes, as a result of the declaration of Weaver Iahela, have been grounded; those in the airspace of the Union have been forced to land.
The country awaits an announcement by the State Elder.
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Kaeykonrujt: Vale! Ūliohenalxajjiuv.
Ūliohenalxaj. Jealviluialjucōpālāakdejaljuuvjīsker.
Verinaliūliohenīnalxekunūriūliohenanallurijartokmi.
Pūralnetitinjiuvkū.
Kīlalperujnker.
Special State Announcement: Victory! The Ueliohens are dead by their own hand.
The Ueliohens are dead. They were found in Copala City by the police in the morning. Witnesses say that the Ueliohen matriarch was stabbed, while the Ueliohen patriarch had fallen from a window. Evidence can be used to surmise that these things were by their own hand. More information will be released later.
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WEAVER-IAHELA PROCLAIMS HER UNDYING ALLEGIANCE TO THE FORCES OF CORRUPTION
The disgraced Weaver-Iahela, who has betrayed our Republic, today proclaimed her undying allegiance to the forces of corruption.
"The forces of the West must be defeated!" she screamed maniacally before a crowd of her mad and traitorous supporters. "Socialism must be purged from this nation, so that it may be made pure! I pledge undying allegiance to capitalism, which birthed this nation and its people, and which shall bring it to its final glory, which shall expel the West and leave us victorious over all the world!
Down with the Westerners, death to them all! They are demons; we must send them to hell, defeat the Carillo-Copala ultra-demonic-satanic complex!
The world shall be pure, it shall be free! Pure, pure, pure!
The West is banished, and our traditions stand! Stand pure! No more! We scream no more! We expel Satan, expel the demons! DOWN WITH THEM ALL! WE SHALL KILL YOU ALL!"
The mass of traitors before her screamed in agreement before again leaving as to further destroy our nation and plunge it into darkness.
Our nation has never fallen victim to the torturous and utterly corrupt barbarism that is called "capitalism," an invention of the West.
We must not allow the puppet Weaver-Iahela to let it arrive here and corrupt us all. We must remain strong in our traditions. We must not allow her corrupting force to infect us all; we must remain vigilant and fight this malignant force.
Down with corruption! The West shall never taint our nation with its lies and tricks! We shall remain free forever!
All of Weaver-Iahela's cronies must be defeated if we are to thrive! Her ideology, her threatening ideology, must be destroyed!
Long live the Union! Long live the Republic! Death to Weaver-Iahela, death to capitalism!
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VICTORY! PIGDOG WEAVER-IAHELA IS DEAD!
The traitor Weaver-Iahela was today killed by her former supporters as a result of her proclamation of her undying support for the forces of corruption.
As she spoke before the mass of traitors that had gathered to listen to her seditious words, many of that mass came to her and began to beat her to death, with such materials as:
- a canvas purse
- a large bottle of hand soap
- a table lamp
- improvised clubs.
They would then run back and forth across her treasonous body in an attempt to defile her, trampling upon her until her appearance reflected her actions against our glorious Republic; as a dirtied and monstrous blob of bloodied flesh.
They took her body and threw it into the sea, condemning her remains to total oblivion, as they rightfully should be.
Citizens, rejoice! Our victory has begun! The traitor Weaver-Iahela is dead; her reign of terror shall collapse!
Just as we freed ourselves from Areai, from the People's Assemblies, we shall free ourselves of her, her supporters, and her ideology!
Down with fascism, down with insanity! Long live socialism, long live our Union!