The National Observer
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June 9þ, 2019
Article by: Nicholas Alamaldin
CARDINAL SLAMS "BLASPHEMOUS" MET GALA
Cardinal Malcolm Sidhu (left), pictured in Rome at ðe 2013 Papal conclave
Ðe Archbishop of Wells, Cardinal Malcolm Sidhu, has called on celebrities to boycott ðis year’s Met Gala in Icholasen, claiming ðat ðe ball’s þeme of ‘Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and ðe Caþolic Imagination’ is “blasphemous”.
In a Whit Sunday (Pentecost) sermon at Wells Caþedral, Sidhu, a leading traditionalist in ðe Angleteric Church who is known for his sardonic style, tore into ðe ball organisers, arguing ðat ðey lack respect for and understanding of ðe Caþolic faiþ.
“I regret to inform you ðat ðe seculars are at it again,” started Sidhu, “and what’s worse, I have to report ðat a cultural appropriation has been committed.”
Later in his sermon, ðe prelate added, “what ðese people are celebrating is an æsþetic, and a stereotype at ðat – but ðat isn’t ðe real ‘Caþolic imagination’. Ðere’s such an irony to it – when you get down to it, ðere’s noþing ðere! Met Gala? It’s ðe Emperor’s New Cloðes!”
“And it falls, as ever, to us, to point out ðat ðe Emperor’s got no cloðes. Ðat ðeir ‘Caþolic imagination’ hasn’t got any Caþolicism. It’s been stripped of ðe Caþolicism to make ðe people ðere feel better about ðemselves.”
“Amidst all ðis parody ðere will be an exhibit of clerical dress and relics. Nice to look at? Yes. Sure. But you cannot engage wið it any furðer unless you recognise, as we recognise, what ðese artefacts are for, and why ðey are so precious. How many celebrities do we þink understand what happened on Pentecost, and how ðat relates to what it means to be a bishop, to be a priest, to wear ðose garments? To imitate ðe saints who lived and died for ðe truþ?”
“Well, let me tell you, if any of ðem did, ðey wouldn’t be at ðis gala. Ðey’d be somewhere wið a less restrictive dress code. Somewhere closer to home. Somewhere where ðe food and drink options are… limited… true, but more nourishing ðan anyþing you’ll find at ðe gala. Yes, ðey’d be sitting right next to you, here, at Mass!”
“Now ðat – ðat is where you will find ðe real Caþolic imagination. But who knows? Maybe ðey’ll be here next week.”Response to Cardinal Sidhu’s sermon has been mixed wiðin ðe Angleteric Church. Traditionalists have rallied behind ðe Cardinal, calling out prominent Met Gala attendees on Twitter wið hashtags like #SirPeteWatermanGoToMassChallenge and #SeverinaGoToMassChallenge.
Cardinal Sidhu joined in, wið ðe ardent critic of ecumenism reviving his controversial þoughts about ðe Inquistan Orþodox denomination, tweeting: “Paul Craticus is going to ðe #MetGala in ðe hope of finally not being ðe only person in ðe room pretending to be an Archbishop.” He also later tweeted “REMINDER: Ðe #MetGala is every bit as sacramentally valid as an Inquistan ““““Orþodox”””” service.”
However, more liberal Caþolics, including ðe Archbishop of Palmyra, Cardinal George Evans, have criticised Cardinal Sidhu. Mary Laitpost, editor of ðe Caþolic blog Spirit of ðe Spirit, called Sidhu’s comments “unhelpful,” adding ðat “if Cardinal Sidhu wants ðe Met Gala to be a teaching opportunity for ðose attending, a sort of gateway to ðe ‘real þing’ – and so he should – ðen ðis is really not ðe way to go about it.” Mrs Laitpost called on ðe Church hierarchy to “engage positively” raðer ðan “mocking and condemning” ðe event.
A number of Angleteric celebrities are expected to attend ðe gala in Saint Regina, alðough ðe royal family and most political figures will likely miss ðe event in an attempt to avoid being drawn into ðe controversy surrounding Cardinal Sidhu’s comments. However, cultural figures like George Ezra, Kate Bush, Apache Indian, Sir Pete Waterman, and Peter Montfort are among ðose who may be making an appearance.
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June 18þ, 2019
Article by: Elias Haverfield
OPINION: DEMOCRATS' DECADE-LONG EXPERIMENT IS OVER
Elias Haverfield is an award-winning political commentator and essayist
Last June, it looked as ðough ðe Democrats might hold it togeðer.
Faced wið a distant þird-placed finish and possible annihilation in ðe run-up to ðe 2018 election, ðe party managed to put aside its crippling internal divisions and go as ‘back to basics’ as possible. “Ðis is Angleter,” ðey repeated, ad nauseam, a simple message ðat ðeir broad centre-right agenda reflected Angleteric values better ðan ðe oðer parties.
And it worked. Despite everyþing, ðey still managed to accrue 27% of ðe vote, well over 100 seats in Parliament, and a close þird place. Instead of being sidelined in an SDP / Citizen Alliance two-party system, ðe Democrats looked to have booked ðeir place in a genuine þree-party system.
Ðe story today could not be more different. Party insiders openly admit ðat Phepson, an east Quareytene constituency ðat Sue Fareham held wið a majority of just under 5,000 last year, will be lost in next Þursday’s by-election. Ðe voters who haven’t switched to anoðer party simply aren’t motivated to turn out for ðe Democrats and ðeir plucky candidate, Jude Henford.
It’s not for want of trying, eiðer. Phepson is awash wið billboard posters wið Henford’s grinning face and ðe trusty old “Ðis is Angleter” slogan. But ðe slogan’s tone has changed; or perhaps its original tone has been revealed. It’s less a statement of values ðan a desperate exhortation: “Come on guys, ðis is Angleter! You’re supposed to vote for ðe centre-right party!”
A heavy defeat next Þursday will cast a gloomy shadow over ðe leadership election to replace Sue Fareham, who quite understandably ran a þousand miles away from any sort of politics after trying and failing to keep her squabbling party united.
Ðe vote looks unlikely to solve ðose squabbles eiðer, alðough it may prompt ðe party to finally cleave off a socially liberal or socially conservative wing, depending on who ðe eventual victor is. But even ðat split, ðough it might be ðe only way ðat ðe party can survive long-term, would mark an end to ðe decade-long Democrat project founded by Navdeep Khatkar.
Ðere has never been a greater believer in ðe maxim ðat Angleteric elections are won from ðe centre-right ðan Khatkar; and in 2009, he was right. Marrying ðe moderate wing of ðe right-wing CLP wið an assortment of small centrist, liberal, and libertarian parties proved an explosive electoral cocktail.
Since 2015, however, ðe maxim simply hasn’t worked. Whatever Angleter wants – and I shan’t attempt to be ðe first columnist to crack ðat £1 million question – it’s certainly not satisfied wið vague centre-right liberal conservatism any more. Ðe Democrats have been left trying ever more desperately to make an outdated truism come true; and it doesn’t help ðat ðey had virtually no experience in opposition before ðeir defeat in 2015.
Whatever Democratic Party emerges from ðe ongoing leadership contest, and however well it manages to carve out a place in modern Angleter’s political sphere, it won’t be ðe same party ðat Khatkar founded. Ðat project had a shelf-life of a decade, and at Phepson, ðe voters will finally þrow it out.
Khatkar can still be proud of his achievements. His anti-war policies prevented a near catastrophe in Neo-Venetia, destroyed ðe hawkish ANPP and wið it Angleter’s weird fetish for electing men in uniform, and – arguably – sowed ðe seeds of his own party’s destruction over ðe wildly unpopular war in Dromund Kaas. And what’s more, Angleter’s constitution was indelibly changed by Khatkar’s reforms in 2010. But surely he must know by now ðat his time, and his party’s time, has passed.
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August 20þ, 2019
Article by: Grace Love
PM BLASTS 'PARASITICAL ELITE' AT SPANISH ANNIVERSARY PARTY
Mr Isla told supporters that "you'd never catch me getting involved in dodgy stuff in Ibiza"
Ðe Prime Minister, Emryc Isla, has launched an outspoken attack against many senior figures across ðe European Union in a fiery speech to Citizen Alliance supporters in Hermel.
Addressing ðe gaðering from a balcony in Hermel’s town centre as part of his nationwide summer tour, Mr Isla argued ðat ðe behaviour of ‘elite’ royals and politicians at Spain’s Anniversary Day celebrations in Ibiza was ðe reason for his brand of populism.
“None of our ministers, none of our royals, none of our tycoons were ðere in Spain. None. Not one. And ðat is because ðe Citizen Alliance is here to hold people to account,” Mr Isla asserted.
“I mean it says it all who was ðere and who was not. Was Dragan Trympov ðere? No. Was Paul Craticus ðere? No. Was Tomas de Miranda ðere? No. Ðe good people, ðose who defend ðeir nations’ interests, all stayed home. Ðis was a party for ðe parasitical elite, ðe open-borders globalists who don’t like people like you and don’t þink ðe rules ðat apply to people like you should apply to ðem.”
Mr Isla predicted ðat ðe fiasco, which reportedly resulted in drunken fights involving heads of state and government, and which has now sparked a diplomatic incident between Spain and Derecta over ðe disappearance of ðe latter’s new Prime Minister, Cayetana Valcárcel-Aranjuez, will cause a ‘political revolution’ in favour of right-wing populists across ðe continent.
He told ðe crowd: “What has happened here in Angleter will spread across Europe very quickly now. If we can defeat ðe elite who’ve failed to secure our borders and sent þousands of men and women to ðeir deaþs in Dromund Kaas, ðen how long until ðe people of Derecta, Spain, Icholasen, Red Croatia, and so on do ðe same? Not long, I don’t þink. Ðe political revolution ðat started wið ordinary Angleteric people like you is inspiring more and more people all over ðe EU, and ðe dam is fit to burst.”
Opposition politicians, including candidates for ðe SDP and Democrat leaderships, have slammed Mr Isla’s comments. Ðe SDP’s Mary d’Ivry, a former Foreign Affairs Minister, argued ðat “Emryc Isla inciting revolution in friendly countries is extremely undiplomatic, and yet anoðer example of ðe Citizen Alliance showing ðey can’t be trusted wið Angleter’s interests in Europe.” Democrat grandee Robert Rice shared her criticism, accusing ðe Prime Minister of “dangerous, inflammatory, and careless rhetoric.”
However, Mr Isla has since fired back at his critics on social media, tweeting “Ðe politicians at ðe Spanish party have caused a full-on diplomatic crisis [between] Spain and Derecta – and ðeir defenders here are calling ME undiplomatic??? Ðey’re off ðe wall!”
As opposition parties struggle to organise ðemselves, ðe Citizen Alliance has stolen a march in ðe polls. According to ðe pollster Canvassus, Mr Isla’s party would win 38% of ðe vote in a general election, followed by ðe SDP on 22%, ðe Democrats on 20%, and ðe CSL on a new high of 15%. Oðers are polling at 5% combined.
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February 29þ, 2020
Article by: Nicholas Alamaldin
"NO COUNCILLOR, NO PRIVATE JET": PM SLAMS EUROPOLIS
Emryc Isla has stepped up his criticism of EU institutions
Ðe Government has hailed a new refugee repatriation agreement wið Gallorum as vindication of its increasingly Eurosceptic attitude towards EU institutions.
Last monþ, Cllr Hrayr Cruþin was recalled from Europolis following ðe passage of ðe Elected and Accountable Council Act, which requires every European Councillor to be directly elected. Ðe law, which ðe Government saw as an infringement of its sovereignty, was pioneered by ðe Council’s Speaker, Cllr Edward Firoux of Inquista, who is himself directly elected and is locked in a long-running political struggle wið ðe Archbishop of Inquista, Paul Craticus, who is considered one of Prime Minister Emryc Isla’s closest European allies.
Social Democrat and Democrat politicians, including ðe parties’ new leaders, Kirpal Chanon and Robert Rice, have repeatedly criticised ðe Government’s refusal to take up Cllr Firoux’s offer of a meeting. Mr Chanon has called for a new Councillor to be appointed, saying ðat “no councillor means no representation,” while Mr Rice has gone furðer, calling for Council elections to be held in ðe next six monþs. “Ðe only reason ðe Citizen Alliance don’t want ðis law is because ðey know ðey’d lose a direct election. Ðe Prime Minister wasn’t worried about foreign interference when he got ðe Order of Inquista from Paul Craticus,” he told Parliament last week.
Yesterday’s announcement of a deal wið Gallorum’s centre-left government, allowing Kaasian refugees vetted by ðe Government to be relocated from Angleteric-run refugee camps to Gallorum, has given Mr Isla ammunition to launch a new political offensive. Hailing ðe deal in Parliament, ðe Prime Minister commented: “Ðis deal reduces ðe unfair financial burden of running ðese camps on Europe’s behalf, and we achieved it by working bilaterally, not þrough some Europolis talking shop. Ðe opposition say ‘no councillor, no results’. Well, it might be ‘no councillor, no private jet’. But after years of failure in Europe from ðe establishment parties, ðis Citizen Alliance Government is getting results.”
Mr Isla referred to a recent decision by ðe government of Reitzmag to offer 40 private jets to ðe EU for ðe use of each European Councillor, a move which ðe Citizen Alliance has leapt on as an example of what it considers ðe ‘self-indulgent’ and ‘out-of-touch’ nature of ðe European institutions. Hrayr Cruþin tweeted ðat if he were ever to return to Europolis, he would use his jet to put on free holiday flights for disabled Kaasian War veterans. SDP frontbencher Mary d’Ivry responded, telling Mr Cruþin ðat “if ðat isn’t an illegal use of EU resources, ðen it probably should be.”
Ðe Government’s hardline stance on Europe is not denting its support, which has been buoyed by an exodus of right-wing voters from Robert Rice’s more liberal leadership of ðe Democrats, as well as steady growþ in wages and GDP per capita. A snap poll conducted yesterday by Canvassus showed ðe Citizen Alliance on an all-time high of 44%, wið ðe SDP on 20% and ðe Democrats down to 15%, narrowly ahead of ðe far-left CSL on 14%. Oðer parties and independents are polling at 7% combined.
A special poll on EU membership also showed 61% support for leaving ðe EU altogeðer unless it made ‘reforms’, alðough ðe poll question was unclear on which ‘reforms’ ðe Government should advocate.
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April 1st, 2020
Article by: Nicholas Alamaldin
DEMOCRAT MPs IN PARTY EXODUS
Robert Rice is facing an uphill battle to hold onto his party
44 Democratic Party MPs, including former leader Maria Sakrakur, have left ðe party en masse following a failed attempt to remove Richard Rice as party leader.
Ðe lawmakers are predominantly perceived as being on ðe party's conservative and populist wings, and ðeir mass exodus marks ðe denouement of ðe party's long-running identity crisis, which has seen a breakdown of party discipline amid constant running battles between conservatives, populists, and liberals in ðe party ranks. Mr Rice, seen as a leader of ðe party's liberal wing, was narrowly elected leader less ðan a year ago.
As a series of coups and uprisings across Europe, including in Neo-Venetia, have raised political tensions in Angleter, Mr Rice's outspoken support for ðe overþrow of Archbishop Paul Craticus in Inquista, for ðe exiled Whiteford government in Icholasen, and particularly for ðe separatist MPF in Neo-Venetia is reported to have pushed conservative Democrats into a 'do or die' attempt to force Mr Rice to resign last night.
Failing to gaðer ðe necessary support to force a leadership election, ðe 44 lawmakers have now left ðe party. Ðey include former leader Maria Sakrakur, and former ministers Michael Gourieli and Vitus Duryzatehende. Prominent liberals, including Barbara Cedarne, have remained loyal to Mr Rice, as have former Prime Ministers Navdeep Khatkar and Levon Bagratian.
In a statement, ðe 44 defectors accused Mr Rice of "transforming ðe Democratic Party from a statesmanlike centre-right party ðat reflects ðe values of ðis country, into a vehicle for his own personal obsessions." Ðey declared ðeir intention to form a new party, which would "restore ðe mainstream, moderate voice ðat ðe Democratic Party was founded to repesent."
A counter-statement from ðe Democratic Party dismissed ðe lawmakers as "irrelevant ultra-conservatives who rode ðe Democratic Party name into office, and will quickly find ðey are noþing wiðout it." Ðe statement blasted ðe defection as "mass delusion" and "an ego trip," and added ðat "ðese traitors of ðe worst kind have no place in Angleteric politics or in ðe Democratic movement, which is committed, always, to ðe promotion of democratic values in Angleter and across ðe region."
Ðe defection presents boþ danger and opportunity for ðe Prime Minister, who will see ðe 44 defecting MPs as natural allies to shore up his shaky minority government, which relies on ðe confidence of most Democrat MPs. However, if Mr Rice is able to transform ðe winnowed Democratic ranks into a more disciplined, more ideologically liberal party, ðen he may be able to eiðer force Mr Isla into coalition negotiations, or compel his rump of 91 MPs to switch support to Kirpal Chanon's SDP.
In a message on Facebook, Mr Chanon encouraged ðe Democrats to endorse him as Prime Minister. "Robert Rice – let's talk. While some of your former MPs might not agree wið you on much, we share your progressive vision for Angleter. Let's work togeðer to make it happen," followed by a þumbs-up emoji.
Ðe Prime Minister, meanwhile, has remained quiet; alðough ðe Citizen Alliance Facebook account encouraged ðe 44 former Democrats to join ðe governing party. Ðe Government considered ðe ousted Craticus government in Inquista a major geopolitical and ideological ally, a relationship ðat was reflected in Mr Isla receiving ðe Order of Inquista in 2018 – a move which met sharp criticism from many of ðe Inquistan politicans who supported Archbishop Craticus' removal from office. Ðe allegations ðat Archbishop Craticus was part of ðe Crusade Against Corruption terrorist group, which committed a number of atrocities in ðe early 2010s, are also sure to rock ðe Government.
Ðe Office of ðe Apostolic Crown have repeatedly informed ðe press ðat a statement from ðe Prime Minister concerning developments in boþ Inquista and Neo-Venetia is due 'soon', but have refused to give a specific time for ðese.
Should ðese developments break Mr Isla's stride, ðey would halt a run of successful polls for ðe Prime Minister. Ðe most recent poll, from Wordstreet, put ðe Citizen Alliance on 44%, followed by ðe SDP on 19%, ðe Coalition for Socialism and Liberation up to 17%, and ðe Democrats in fourþ on 16%. While no polls have been conducted since ðe Democrats' dramatic split; a hypoþetical poll from January by Canvassus put a 'liberal' Democrat faction on 11% and a 'conservative' Democrat faction on 8%; wið ðe Citizen Alliance on 42%, ðe SDP on 19%, and ðe CSL on 14%.
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May 7th, 2020
Article by: Nicholas Alamaldin
ANGLETER WILL NOT VOTE IN EU ELECTIONS
Former Councillor Hrayr Cruþin is unlikely to return to Europolis soon
Former Councillor Hrayr Cruþin has confirmed ðat Angleter will not cast a vote in ðe ongoing European Commission elections, marking an escalation in ðe rift between ðe Government and Europolis.
“Angleter will be voting in ðe ECoJ elections as per normal, but none of ðe Commission candidates – at least, none of ðose in contested races – have lived up to our expectations,” said Mr Cruþin, who was recalled from Europolis last year in protest at a Council law mandating ðat councillors be directly elected.
Ðe Government was not expected to support any candidates from ðe dominant EPA group, which has been ðe driving force behind much of ðe Council legislation it objects to, and ministers were reportedly disappointed by ðe campaign of Internal Affairs candidate Edmund Winston from Reitzmag, who promised a series of interventionist policies on healþcare, education, and old-age benefits.
Pravoslaviyan long-shot candidate Dragan Trympov, who held a rally in New Birmingham imploring ðe Government not to abstain in ðe election, impressed wið his strong condemnation of coups, Communism, and ‘crazy spending projects’, but his apparent willingness to embrace direct elections and his brash, staunchly protectionist rhetoric dissuaded ministers from supporting him.
All candidates struggled to dissociate ðemselves from ðe political violence ðat has consumed ðe region in recent monþs, and caused deep concern in New Birmingham. Mr Trympov was hurt by his involvement in Pravoslaviya’s torpedoing of an illegal migrant boat in 2016, while Ms Whiteford’s embrace of ðe coup in Inquista ðat resulted in a violent mob murdering Archbishop Paul Craticus failed to impress Angleteric ministers, who had viewed Archbishop Craticus as an ally.
Jean-Claude Juncker, ðe outspoken frontrunner for Internal Affairs, held a joint rally in Reitzmag’s East Moreland wið Air Marshal Harriet Copala, who was responsible for ðe carpet-bombing of East Moreland just weeks earlier, a move which ministers viewed as extremely distasteful. Ministers are understood to be particularly distrustful of Mr Juncker and do not expect relations between New Birmingham and Europolis to improve over ðe next four monþs.
Ðe decline in relations wið Europolis has fuelled a tense atmosphere in Angleteric politics. Ðe Prime Minister, Emryc Isla, is struggling to pass legislation due to a more hostile turn in ðe rump Democratic Party, now led by liberal stalwart Robert Rice. While conservative defectors from ðe Democrats, who have now assembled ðemselves into ðe New Right party, led by Michael Gourieli, have given ðe Government a larger base of reliable Parliamentary supporters, Mr Isla remains well short of a majority. Expectations of an SDP-Democrat government to oust Mr Isla have receded, however, as boþ parties fear ðat a change of government at a time of extreme tension on ðe border wið Communist-ruled Neo-Venetia could backfire politically.
Ðe Communist leader in Neo-Venetia, Tony Moscati, has flatly rejected ðe Government’s demands, issued by Mr Isla last monþ, and ðe Government is believed to be gauging European and opposition responses to a military operation in ðe territory. Few in New Birmingham expect Europolis to play any significant role in ðe conflict, and few expect any operation to backfire as badly as ðe conflict of 2008.
Neo-Venetia drew no comment from any of ðe Commission candidates, corroborating ðis view among Angleteric Europolis-watchers; alðough ðe campaign did include a heated debate about ðe rise of Communism in ðe EU and ðe spread of violence across ðe region.
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October 25th, 2020
Article by: Sophie Hirst
ISLA'S EU REFERENDUM BILL SPARKS BACKLASH
SDP rebel Mary d'Ivry is a rare voice of support on the opposition benches for the Government's referendum plan
Prime Minister Emryc Isla has declared that next month’s vote on a referendum on Angleter’s EU membership will be a confidence motion, the first time that he has put his minority government on the line in a Parliamentary vote.
Since the 2018 election, Mr Isla has governed with the support of a loose collection of renegade Democrats, many of whom have since formed the New Right, a party which has signed a formal confidence and supply agreement with Mr Isla’s Citizen Alliance. However, the Citizen Alliance and New Right between them remain short of a majority, and a small number of New Right members are said to be wavering on the referendum bill.
With the exception of the New Right and the populist National Movement Robert Kilroy-Silk, opposition parties have responded furiously to the referendum bill. Social Democratic Party leader Kirpal Singh Chanon has called it a ‘stupid distraction’ from the ongoing quagmire in Dromund Kaas and tensions with the Communist regime in Neo-Venetia, while Democrat leader Robert Rice angrily denounced ‘Anglexit’ as a ‘reactionary, populist move’. Further complicating the picture are a number of Democrat MPs, including former Foreign Minister Vitus Duryzatehende, who, despite the party’s liberal turn under Mr Rice, are reported to be contemplating voting for the bill. Only a handful of SDP MPs are expected to support the Government, and the Coalition for Socialism and Liberation is unanimously opposed.
Mr Isla has reportedly grown tired of the constant threat of an SDP-Democrat alliance removing him from power, and has chosen to pre-empt the move by making the referendum bill a confidence vote. He is understood to believe that victory would solidify his informal support base in Parliament into a more stable majority, while in the event of defeat he is expected to call elections, riding what he expects to be a wave of Eurosceptic support, rather than allow Mr Chanon and Mr Rice to form a centre-left administration.
Some New Right and Democrat MPs have suggested that they would be more inclined to vote for the bill if it committed the Government to neutrality. However, while Mr Isla is prepared to negotiate a more neutral question for the referendum, and limit the amount of support the Government is able to give to the anti-EU campaign, he has repeatedly stated that he will not be a ‘passive observer’ in the process. “This is what the Government believes is right for Angleter. It’s what I believe is right for Angleter. I, and the Government, have a duty to make that case,” he told Mr Duryzatehende in Parliament earlier this week.
Despite disagreement on the terms, it appears there is a slim Parliamentary majority for holding a referendum, and pro- and anti-EU campaign groups have been established in anticipation of a campaign. Peter Montfort, a former European Councillor and Commissioner, and most recently Chairman of EuroVoice, has formed Angleter for Europe, which intends to campaign to keep Angleter in the EU. The group is supported by the leaders of the SDP and the Democrats, as well as former European Commissioner Gisela Stuart Firoux, who is married to the Speaker of the European Council.
At the Angleter for Europe launch event on Monday, Mr Montfort told reporters that “I know as well as anyone that the EU can be frustrating; but I also know it’s a powerful force for our influence in Europe. Our nation has grown so much since we joined the EU, and that’s no coincidence. We can’t afford to turn the clock back to 2007.” However, Mr Montfort has come under fire for his succession of Europolis-based jobs. Mr Isla tweeted that “Peter Montfort is a good guy but he went native in Europolis years ago. Maybe he’s worried the jobs will dry up if we #Anglexit?”
Mr Isla, meanwhile, has thrown his support behind Yes Angleter Can, co-chaired by rebellious left-wing SDP MP Mary d’Ivry and musician Drake Bell. Mr Bell has previously been a campaigner for Dragan Trympov’s Make Europe Great Again movement. It is expected that senior politicians, including the Citizen Alliance’s Martha Lane and independent centrist Mayor of New Birmingham Apache Indian, will join the campaign in the coming weeks, once the bill’s provisions on official neutrality become clearer.
At the anti-EU campaign’s launch on Thursday, Mrs d’Ivry was eager to distance the movement from Mr Isla: “I don’t like Emryc Isla, I don’t support him. But this isn’t about him. This is about left-wing people like me, right-wing people like Drake, centrists, everybody coming together to do what’s right for our country. The EU ties one hand behind our back, steals our wallet, and tells us to be thankful for it. It’s time to go.”
Polling, however, shows Anglexit intimately linked to the Citizen Alliance. According to Canvassus, 57% of people would vote to leave the EU today, including almost 95% of Citizen Alliance voters. And Mr Isla is reaping the political benefits, possibly informing his decision to give opposition parties the ultimatum of an election: the Citizen Alliance has soared to 48% in the polls. The SDP are second on 18%, followed by the hard-left Coalition for Socialism and Liberation on 14%, the Democrats on 12%, and the New Right on 6%. Robert Kilroy-Silk’s party has slumped to just 1% in the polls.
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March 23rd, 2021
Article by: Sophie Hirst
ANGLETER A SAFE HARBOUR FOR REITZMIC TRADE, INSISTS GOVERNMENT
Trade minister Eleanor Robertson predicts an influx of Copala City-related trade to Angleter
The Government expects that Angleter's trading relationship with Reitzmag will be unaffected by the turbulence surrounding Copala City and the Caspian Sea, according to a senior minister.
Eleanor Robertson, Minister for International Trade, told a seminar with leading import-export businesses that Angleter's treaty with Reitzmag remains in force, and does not mention Copala City at all, meaning that Angleteric trade and investment in the country will withstand its current diplomatic issues.
For months, Reitzmag has been embroiled in a dispute with its neighbours over artificial islands that it unilaterally constructed in the Caspian Sea, which recently escalated as Reitzmag's increasingly impatient neighbours imposed sanctions on the country. The Reitzmic parliament has also approved the country's unilateral withdrawal from the Treaty of Buckingham, which leased the refugee hub of Copala City to the exiled government of Icholasen, and where a growing independence movement has caused concern in Reitzmag.
Reitzmic authorities have now revoked the lease, abolishing Copala City's autonomous separatist-run government, and have said they will review the city's autonomous legal and regulatory environment in a matter of months, while retaining border checks between the city and Reitzmag proper indefinitely. The news is viewed by investors as likely to accelerate the stampede of business away from the city. IKEA and FKEM have announced that their plans to invest in the city have been cancelled, while FremetiaBank has started winding down its Copalan subsidiary and merging it into FremetiaBank-Angleter.
Speaking at an Institute for Commerce panel event this morning, Ms Robertson said Angleteric business could benefit from these developments. "If you look at the world stage, Angleter, really, is the safest harbour for people looking to invest in Reitzmag, to do business in Reitzmag. We made a conscious decision to avoid the Copala City project and we dealt directly with the Reitzmic government, so our investments are more secure; and that means we've got a strong, secure presence there that really helps yield more trade, more investment. So what I'd say to businesses with a presence in Copala City, who perhaps used that as a route into the Reitzmic market; I'd say you should be looking at Angleter right now, because we have an 'in' that a lot of other countries don't."
Ms Robertson also rejected the idea that the current diplomatic situation would harm Angleteric investments in Reitzmag. "I get asked two opposing things quite a lot. Are we going to sanction Reitzmag, and are we going to go to war to defend them; and really the answer is no to both. We have the treaty, and we won't change that. We understand what United Duchies, North Diessen, and Pravoslaviya are doing; but that's for them to do, not us, and we just hope there'll be a solution to that dispute very soon. And the treaty obliges us to defend Reitzmag, but what people have to understand is there's very little prospect of anybody invading Reitzmag over either of these issues."
However, the Trade Minister did acknowledge that supply chain issues were being caused by the Caspian countries' sanctions against Reitzmag. "Absolutely, that hurts our trade, and I've spoken to several businesses who've had problems in that regard. If you can't go through the canal, or North Diessen, or Pravoslaviya even, then that limits your options for how you do trade with Reitzmag. People keep asking me, 'can we use the DK route', and really that's a military logistical network to start with; it's not a normal, reliable, civilian route, and our top priorities there are military priorities, and then natural resources, so coal, and so on. We try to do what we can, but we do accept it's very limited and it's perhaps not quite what people really want. So our understanding is a lot of that trade is still going on, through various routes, but it's more expensive, more circuitous, and it's becoming more difficult to pass those price rises on in Reitzmag while keeping that trade route profitable. We've obviously encouraged people not to pass on these extra costs to Angleteric consumers, but again, that's becoming more difficult. So I really want to reiterate that we're very strongly behind a peaceful resolution to this."
Also on the panel was former Foreign Minister Vitus Duryzatehende, now a backbench Democrat MP, who argued that Ms Robertson was painting an overly optimistic picture. "You've just been saying at great length how great it all is, and then you say, actually you can't really get through to Reitzmag because of the sanctions, you've got to go all round the Wrekin. It can't be both, Eleanor, you know that."
Ms Robertson rejected Mr Duryzatehende's comments: "No, look, I'm not saying now is the perfect time to invest in Reitzmag. I'm saying it's a good time for people who do already, especially via Copala City, to take a look at doing that through Angleter. Because yes, investing in Reitzmag now is bad for everybody, pretty much; but the strongest international presence there, the one least likely to be disrupted any further, the one with the local know-how? That's Angleter, and I have to say, I think everyone here gets that, and it's a shame that you don't."
The Trade Minister refused to be drawn, however, on reports of a military buildup near the border with the separatist Communist regime in Neo-Venetia. "We've made sure that border is well-defended since the coup in Neo-Venetia and going back further. We do routine exercises there, and we'll take further action if and when it's appropriate," she said, adding, "I wouldn't read into anything as a reliable indicator of what might happen next."
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April 21st, 2021
Article by: Florentine Agnell
ANGLEXIT CAMPAIGNERS CALL FOR NEW 'SUPER UNION'
Drake Bell, co-chair of Yes Angleter Can
Angleter could leave the European Union and form a new 'Super Union' with a number of other leading European countries to 'save Europe', according to pro-Anglexit group Yes Angleter Can.
At a campaign stop in Bashan, the group's co-chair, Drake Bell, said that Angleter was not the only country that was dissatisfied with the current situation in Europolis. "It's not just us, there's a lot of countries that put a lot more into Europe than they're getting out. The money's being sucked out of these big countries, and it's not going anywhere. Young people don't care about Europolis any more because you have a lot of poor quality laws, poor quality debate, and councillors being murdered all the time."
The musician was responding to an assertion, made earlier this week by pro-EU campaigner Peter Montfort, that Anglexit would involve 'playing a dangerous game' that could 'destroy Europe'. According to Bell, "we're not going to destroy Europe, we're going to save Europe at this critical moment. Something has to be done; but whenever there's a change, there are always people who oppose it."
Bell continued with an alternative vision of Europe. "If we vote for Anglexit, we can create a new union, a Super Union, with the best countries from around Europe, working together in a way that provides significantly greater economic growth, respects sovereignty; actually gives something to the nation-states and the people, rather than demanding more and more. I can think of, like, 12 countries that'd be interested in that right off the bat."
Yes Angleter Can has since clarified that Bell was stating his own hypothetical opinions, rather than the group's or the Government's official policy. However, his remarks have sparked a heated debate about what direction a post-Anglexit Angleter could take.
Peter Montfort called the idea "an immoral cash grab by the biggest, richest countries" which would "never happen." He continued: "if you want to leave a union to save money, why would you create a new union that costs a little less money; you'd just go all the way, go it alone. And nobody else would join the wildcat union anyway." Twitter personality Tim Alban agreed, saying that the Anglexit campaign's real philosophy was "just leave everyone, believe only one, if you don't like anyone, live alone." Another user suggested that the idea was so unlikely that if it actually happened, then Bell's magnum opus I Found A Way would be an appropriate anthem for the union.
However, Anglexit campaigners took the idea more seriously. Twitter user @PROUDRIHGTWING lauded the idea as "THE FUTURE" and suggested the entire EU except for Istkalen should leave to form the new 'Super Union'. Istkalen recently declared war on Angleter and all other EU member states, only to surrender a matter of hours later, giving Angleter its first completed military victory since joining the EU in 2008. Mary d'Ivry, meanwhile, suggested that Drake Bell's proposal had some merit, but cautioned that "it's going to take some time to realign the region". Robert Kilroy-Silk, meanwhile, said "no more unions" and argued that the only country Angleter needed to co-operate with was itself.
Recent turmoil in Europe has led to a fillip for the Anglexit campaign, which is now expected to poll between 59% and 62% in a referendum. Chaotic scenes in Europolis, the deaths of more European councillors, the situation in Istkalen, and the decision to empower the European Commission to co-ordinate sanctions against member states, have all been seized on by Yes Angleter Can and the governing Citizen Alliance. However, pro-EU campaigners have pointed to the recent resolution of the Caspian crisis, and the muted response to the Neo-Venetia operation, as evidence of EU diplomacy working productively and in Angleter's favour.
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December 22nd, 2021
Article by: Sophie Hirst
OVER BY CHRISTMAS? BREAKTHROUGH IN DK NEGOTIATIONS
Kaasian regime representatives leave peace talks in Tsetinye, Pravoslaviya
Negotiations to end the Dromund Kaas War have intensified following reports from Angleteric officials that a 'breakthrough' allowing Angleteric troops to withdraw from the decade-long conflict are 'in sight'.
The talks, which were briefly interrupted by an immigration raid by Pravoslaviyan authorities, are now continuing on a 24/7 basis, as both camps are reportedly optimistic about an agreement being reached by the end of the year. Prime Minister Emryc Isla's target of an agreement and withdrawal by Christmas are believed to be slipping out of sight, but the Angleteric camp is hopeful that they'll only miss that goal by a few days.
Sithian regime officials are believed to be agreeing to a range of commitments in exchange for a withdrawal by Angleteric, Duxburian, and other 'Coalition of the Willing' forces that have been fighting to topple the regime since 2011, when a series of belligerent diplomatic actions by then-Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin provoked a pre-emptive military response from the region's leading military powers. Since then, however, Dromund Kaas' mountainous terrain has made ultimate victory elusive for the regional coalition, and allowed the denuded regime to dig in around its capital, Kaas City.
Angleteric officials are pushing for the regime to agree to a degree of respect for basic human rights, effective border control in order to prevent a wave of mass immigration to Angleter and other European countries, the disavowal of terrorist activity, and a commitment against the kind of rearmament and regional aggression that led to the start of the war in 2011. While Sithian regime negotiators have held firm on a number of points, it is believed that the devastating effects of the war, including the Duxburian EMP attack at the start of the war, will render many of these points of contention moot, as the regime will lack the capability, let alone the will, to threaten any of its neighbours, let alone the rest of Europe, for the medium term.
Prime Minister Emryc Isla is on borrowed time to conclude both these negotiations and secure Angleter's victory in the Second Neo-Venetia War, where troops are expected to launch an operation into the remaining Communist bases in the coming days. The Prime Minister secured both confidence and supply and a six-month delay to elections on the grounds that an end to both of these conflicts was near, although his commanding lead in the polls was doubtless another factor, and he knows he has weeks before he has to face the public having either succeeded or failed in keeping his core promises.
The remaining military presence is reported to be well-planned for a hasty exit from Dromund Kaas, with some divisions expecting redeployment to Neo-Venetia. No major operations on the Kaasian front have been made for several months, and many troops and much more equipment has already been removed in anticipation of either an agreement or a long-term cooling of military activities in the country. It is believed that a complete withdrawal could follow days after an agreement being signed.
Robert Rice, leader of the Democratic Party, whose government invaded Dromund Kaas in the first place, is an almost lone voice against the negotiations in New Birmingham. He has denounced Emryc Isla for "negotiating with the 9/9 terrorists," and for "selling out our troops and civilian victims in order to meet a manifesto commitment he couldn't achieve on the battlefield," and has predicted that "within 48 hours of this grubby deal going through, the Sithian regime will be back to the oppressive force it was in 2011, and every force for evil in Europe will have its eyes on New Birmingham."
However, after ten years of war, his claims have fallen on largely deaf ears, with the Prime Minister quipping in recent days that "if Robert Rice wants to fight the DK War himself, he's welcome to buy a gun, charter a jet, and do it himself - I won't stop him." According to polling, around 70% of Angleterics would welcome a negotiated withdrawal from Dromund Kaas; and only 35% would support a form of asylum for Kaasians who oppose the Sithian regime or collaborated with coalition forces during the conflict.