A Palace Stocked With Tea
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A Palace Stocked With Tea
United Kingdom -- Inimicus Summit
16th May 2022
Artabanos felt Himself looking at a familiar sight these days. The great square leading to the Imperial Palace, lined with crowds of people waving foreign flags, surrounding a central, clear avenue of approach from the route to the Imperial Aerodrome. This time, it was British Prime Minister Theresa May the Emperor would be receiving at Telum.
Really, the only reason He had not agreed to travel to the UK was His disdain for flying. Flying, and leaving the safe, comfortable surroundings of one of His many residences in Inimicus and North Diessen (His place in Inquista, well, He wouldn't travel there for comfort; the lighting was far too red, and the smell, just no).
His extensive region-wide network of professional gossipers had, however, informed Him that the Reitzmics had been after the UK's highly desirable strategic position; this was obviously not something He could care about if that boyish Reitzmic prince hadn't looked at Him insultingly during His welcome back party, but unfortunately he had done. So here He was. Plus, the UK had always been a reliable partner in the past, though for some reason He had never been quite as close to any UK politician as He might have liked. Perhaps, then, it was time for that to finally change. His musings kept Him occupied until the shining diplomatic cars came into view, and the summit formally began.
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Theresa sat in the PM plane with Gavin Williamson. She read the dossier on Inimicus.
"Prime Minister, do you need assistance?" Gavin asked. Theresa paused for a moment.
"No, I think I'm okay. Inimicus is an important partner," Theresa said.
"Yes, they are," Gavin replied.
The plane approached Telum Airport. Then, it cautiously landed.
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The UK delegation drove across the Imperial Square among applause and cheers from locals, including UK expats in Inimicus who had turned out in droves. Artabanos swiftly turned around and took a swig from His hip flask, before recomposing Himself and heading down the carpet-lined steps to greet the British delegates.
"Ah, Theresa, so good to see you", He said, shaking the Prime Minister's hand vigorously before turning to Williamson. "And you must be Gavin, I've heard so much about you. Well, let's get you out of the sun - it can get quite stifling here if you're out too long."
Proceeding down the endless, winding corridors of the Imperial Palace, Artabanos gave His customary tour of the centuries-old frescos and statues. Stopping at the painting of Himself in a medieval setting that the Czech President had lampooned Him for, He remarked "Albina didn't like this one. I'm thinking of having it painted over, perhaps I'll put Simon Bridges on the horse instead. We'll see."
Artabanos offered Theresa and Gavin drinks as they sat down in His workspace, where the spring sun had just begun to illuminate the room. The Emperor poured Himself a triple whisky before saying: "Now, again, welcome to Telum and to My Palace. What did you wish to start with?"
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"Why don't we start with trade? I would like our two nations to engage in fair trade with no damage to either economy. Also, if we could encourage visa free travel and a special education visas. Reciprocal, of course," Theresa started.
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"Gosh, they're not that verbose, are they?", Emperor Artabanos thought as the summit formally began. "Trade! Yes, the most exciting of topics.... I must admit, Theresa, I'm all for it, but I'm also completely bored by it. Inimicus would gladly agree a complete elimination of tariffs on trade with the United Kingdom, if that is agreeable to you? Just so we can swiftly move onto other things..."
The Emperor took another swig of His drink and looked outside, watching the British delegation making confused notes. "Visa-free travel is something we can also agree to, to some extent. Inimicus prefers not to sign free movement or residency type agreements, just because no one likes foreigners, you know? Except Me, of course. I love foreigners, especially if they're handsome. But we could agree to a limited period of visa-free stay, perhaps 90 days or so? In a 365-day period?"
"I will say", Artabanos continued, lowering His voice somewhat and leaning in to the UK delegation, "I've heard some interesting reports about your meeting with those rascals, Simon Bridges and his Reitzmic government. I'd be so very interested to hear what he had to say for himself."
