Quand fera-t-il jour, Camarade ?

[Icholasen]

OOC: Quand fera-t-il jour, Camarade ? is the thread for all things Nicoleizian behind-the-scenes RP. Posts will unfold in the UNSR, in Ibiza where the Romanovs live, and in Fremet where Korojaunu Whiteford leads the government in exile. Posts to come.

[Icholasen]

Ibizan Yoghurt

Korojaunu Whiteford was pleased when Queen Anastasia finally accessed their Zoom meeting. The sound of her coming on was a relief, since Queen Anastasia has the technical skills of a boomer who only got a computer in 2014. She had been trying to get her airpods to connect to her computer, without realising they weren't even on.

"Your Majesty Queen Anastasia, it's great to get to talk to you. I understand you've been having a hangover." Whiteford said.

"Yeah, for whole of the last week. I feel totally rotten, but Tommy and Carlos are taking good care of me here in Ibiza. Breakfast in bed is so nice. Who knew a man with such chubby fingers could make such fine pastry."

"It's great to hear that! I'm glad some of us are getting 5 star service. How many times to have to tell these Fremetians that I want egg on toast and not a four poster bed?!"

"Yah those Fremetians really love their furniture." Anastasia said, digging into a pot of Ibizan yoghurt.

"Yeah it's great though, the chairs are at way more comfortable here."

"Yeah." Anastasia agreed. "Maybe I should've married a Fremetian..."

"We're digressing. We need a plan of action about the communists and we're all out of ideas, do you have any insights?"

"I honestly don't know. I mean I wasn't chosen as Queen because of any merits I possessed, so I'm pretty clueless. To be honest maybe monarchies aren't the best system of government after all."

"Don't say that, Queen Anastasia! The Monarchy kept Icholasen together. No doubt they're all squabbling over there in the UNSR. They have a pretty lit anthem though."

"Yeah those commies know how to make music. Maybe they should represent us at Eurovoice."

"Queen Anastasia, please stop. I know you're enjoying Ibiza... Maybe a bit too much. But we have to end communism."

"I don't know why you're asking me, I'm a 29 year old Queen whose job before all this was waving at poor people in a carriage."

"I just thought, Queen Anastasia, you'd have some pearls of wisdom for us. You know, to guide the nation through this tough time."

"Nah, I got nothing. I mean if they want Ibizan yoghurt I have loads."

"Then, can we have access to the constitutional powers that allow us to act without your permission?"

"Oh, sure girlfriend. Oh. If you don't mind, I need to go and put a towel on one of the sunbeds or some Inquistan boomer is going to snag my favourite spot. Cya!"

---

Unbeknownst to them, the communists were listening in! It was Jaremi Carebin, UNSR spy extraordinaire.

"Piane" Jaremi said. "We've intercepted a Zoom call between Queen Anastasia and Korojaunu Whiteford."

"And?" Piane said.

"Anastasia has given extra powers to Whiteford."

"Well that's anticlimactic." Piane said matter-of-factly. "I was hoping we'd get some details about the Fremetian Iron Dome. Goddamnit. Anastasia barely had any powers anyway this is hardly news."

"We'll keep listening in. Zoom is very insecure. If they keep using it we'll be able to understand everything about them."

[Icholasen]

Socialist Realism

Jirluchuz was at his doctor's office in Cesae Vauvra. It was a small, discrete office. The doctor had previously been a private doctor but had since been forcibly nationalised. Jirluchuz hadn't been to see a doctor since he had moved from the Lunonjrauk as it had been a busy time organising a slow transition from capitalism to socialism. Cultural revolutions take time!

'Comrade.' Doctor Jon Fielding said through grated teeth. He was well aware that had he not snagged the Chairman of the UNSR as a client, he'd be too poor to buy his husband the decadent extravagances of capitalism - while they were still around. 'The results of your physical was, concerning to say the least. We've discovered some abnormalities.'

Jirluchuz said nothing.

'Now, we'd like to operate in around 3 months while we continue to keep an eye on you. We'll have you in every other week until then.'

'But, Dr. Fielding, I won't have time to come literally every week. There's lots I have to be doing...' Jirluchuz said, lying. It wasn't that he had a lot to do, but that he couldn't afford to be seen as ill by anyone in the Communist Party. If they did they would jump on him like gays on Ricky Martin when he came out in 2010.

'Comrade.' Dr. Fielding said, again resenting the communist takeover that took away his 401k, 'You simply have to. Surely you can find 4 hours in your week so we can give you a once over.'

'Could you come to the Dacha?' Jirluchuz asked solemnly.

'I suppose we could make that work.'

[Icholasen]

Hammer and Sickle

---

The Cradle of the Revolution, Lunonjrauk, Nuwnociluosoaulaunk

Chairman Jirluchuz was sat at his desk as Laucre and Baskin were sat in front of him. He was meant to mediate a dispute which had erupted between the two factions and which was threatening party unity. It was, indeed, a peculiar system of government. Of course in the original UNSR, Lunon banned factions within the party but Jirluchuz thought perhaps naïvely, that he could weather the storm of factionalism and a healthy debate could keep socialism alive in the UNSR.

Jirluchuz, as Head of State, was in charge of keeping the nation together he was in public seen as doing a good job. But in private, everyone who was anyone in the communist party knew that Laucre and Baskin loathed each other -- far beyond a normal political confrontation. These, the 2nd and 3rd most powerful people in the Communist Party of Icholasen, and thus, the nation.

Laucre before arriving was in Cesae Vauvra attending to matters of the Assembly of Nationalities, and planning for the 2021 elections to that body. Laucre was a strong, hardworking woman who did not take any BS. She would only sleep around 4 hours a night, work was far more important than ‘sleeping’. She was, at age 65, preoccupied about the length of her life. She realised she probably didn’t have time to be wasting it, asleep. Laucre took work wherever she went, knowing it was of national importance.

Baskin, on the other hand, was previously at her Zoo in Romain. She kept lions and tigers and other big cats who had been abandoned or whose habitat was being decimated in shores far away. Baskin was what some people consider to be ‘work-shy.’ It’s not that she wasn’t ambitious for her faction and herself, she definitely was. But she knew that she could coast along and fail upwards. She had a large team of helpers, who worked out her scheduling for everything, wrote speeches, filled out forms. This meeting with Jirluchuz had put a spanner in the works: she had planned to spend the entire weekend and Monday at her zoo, as was the custom for her.

The two arrived at the Nuwnociluosoaulaunk Governor Mansion, the place from which Jirluchuz orchestrated numerous foreign escapades as governor under the Whiteford/Romanov regime. They were moved to separate rooms, before they were both called in by the Chairman.

‘Now.’ The Chairman said. ‘What the fuck is going on ? I want to hear it directly from you.’

The two talked over each other, until Jirluchuz said ‘enough.’ They didn’t listen. He repeated himself again, and finally they yielded. ‘Baskin, your name is first in the alphabet. You go.’

‘Well.’ Baskin sighed, looked over with disdain at Laucre, and then resumed, ‘Cécile has been actively spreading lies about me among our colleagues. We all know she wants the AÉN wiped off the map. And the fact she vetoed me - the 3rd in line for the Korojaunu-ship from the Council for the Protection of the Revolution is just absurd. It’s just unfathomable.’

‘Laucre.’ Jirluchuz said levelly. He started to feel a bit dizzy.

‘Carole Baskin… Killed her husband, whacked him. Can’t convince me that it didn’t happen. Fed him to tigers - what’s happening.’

‘Would you care to elaborate ?’ Jirluchuz said.

‘This woman, is a murderer and should be, frankly, removed from office.’

‘There’s no proof of that !’ Said Carole.

‘Yeah, because you fed him to tigers.’

‘That’s not how tigers work.’ Carole said with great indignation.

‘Well I’ve heard conflicting stories.’

‘I think I know more about tigers than you, genius.’

‘Oh yeah, where did you go to tiger college ?’

‘I actually went for a more hands on approach-- but that’s besides the point. This slander against me must stop. I won’t stand for it !’ Baskin said, bemused.

‘Cécile.’ Jirluchuz said. ‘What would it take for you to be satisfied ?’

‘A full investigation, and also that cute Czech guy from Czech Hunters #113.’

‘We can arrange the second thing, but I think that the first one would be far too politically sensitive.’

‘Of course it would be — Carole KILLED someone.’ Laucre bellowed.

‘Well, as you know.’ Jirluchuz started.

‘I know very well.’ Laucre replied, cutting off the Head of State. ‘She has the leverage on us to stop this trial. Controlling the Assembly of Workers means she could pull the rug out under us. But, please, Chairman, if her fractured faction knew about this, they would withdraw support for her.’

‘You are forbidden from talking to the press about this. I will not stand for it. The Party comes before anything else for me -- and the nation is the party. We will not lose our revolution because of your petty squabbling.’

‘She KILLED someone. A friend of mine, too.’ Laucre said, passions running high.

‘I don’t care if she killed YOU. Party and national unity is far too important. Remember our national anthem, written with the hope of a revolution happening. Ours has happened - and I won’t let this ruin it. Have I made myself clear ?’

Baskin’s face was a broad, beaming smile, showing all her teeth. Laucre was incredibly salty and left immediately. Baskin stayed and thanked Jirluchuz profusely for what he had done, Jirluchuz sheepishly accepted the lashings of compliments he received. The two returned to what they were previously doing, and Jirluchuz was left in his office. He coughed into his hanky and looked into it. ‘Not again’ he thought. Spatters of blood dotted the hanky like homosexual bar patrons dotted around a discotheque dancing to Vogue by Madonna.

[Icholasen]

Partiya Laucraya

---

People In The Know: 12

Korojaunu and Foreign Secretary Bernie Sanders had just returned from a productive meeting in Prague and was enjoying some sleep when Cécile Laucre called him at 5am in the morning.

‘Bernie.’

‘Uhh, yes ? Who is this ?’

‘It’s me, Cécile. Jirluchuz won’t let me go public.’

‘He is the Chairman. He’s the reason we are in power now, listen to him and do not tell ANYONE else.’

‘Yes Bernie I do know that, but I’m allowed to disagree with him.'

‘Cécile, you have to get over his death at some point. I know that he was-‘

‘Don’t talk about him in the past tense.’

‘Cécile he is dead. You do need to accept that one day, bubulah.’

‘Why can’t I count on you, Bernie. After all our history ?’

‘Cécile. I want to go back to bed - I’m tired.’

‘Goddamnit.’ Cécile hung up.

——

People In The Know: 18

Joni Ernst, Cécile’s colleague in the Assembly of Nationalities, was walking along a corridor in the Socialist Congress building. She had just submitted the final reading of the Protection of the Revolution Agriculture Act (2020) which aimed to stockpile enough food for a potential EU blockade. This bill would soon be passed in both houses and be ratified by the executive. She was then sent a text by Cécile Laucre summoning her to her office. Ernst obliged immediately, virtually turning around on her feet.

‘Speaker Laucre, it’s a pleasure to be welcomed by you here.’

‘Joni. Please, sit down.' Cécile gestured to a very cushioned dark oak chair with green upholstery. 'I’ve often thought of you like a daughter.’

‘Cécile I’m too old to be your daughter ! Don’t be silly !' She laughed, Cécile did not.

‘I invited you here because I want to tell you something about Carole Baskin.’

‘Oh, what has she done now. Is she going to tank my bill ?’

‘No, she’s doing and has done something far worse.’

‘What ?’ Joni said, surprised. She had run her campaign saying she’d make the Cesae Vauvra elite squeal. However, it was well and truly her who was shookt.

‘Carole Baskin killed someone. And has not faced justice.’

‘Oh dear. When are we telling the press ?’

‘We can’t… yet. It’s not the right time. Jirluchuz will have my head on a spike if I do.’

‘Well then what’s the plan ?’

‘I’ve asked Sanders to support me but he just won’t. Jirluchuz wants to keep the nation together, but without Baskin we could unite the Communist Party and ban factionalism. We could rule… alone. With no obstruction.’

‘I’m not sure how we get rid of Baskin without pissing of Jirluchuz or starting a civil war.’

‘We can win a civil war.’

‘No we can’t. It will end the UNSR.’ Ernst said. ‘I’ve put a lot of work into saving our nation with my bill, a Civil War would destroy all of that.’

‘I suppose you’re right. We just have to wait it out.’ Cécile said.

‘Yes. Now, I really must go. You know I have your back Cécile, but be sensible.’

‘Of course Joni, of course.’

Cécile looked out of her office window over the Cesae Vauvra skyline. She thought to herself ‘one day this will be mine. I am sure of it.’

[Icholasen]

Partiya Jirluchuza

---

CESAE VAUVRA

After a period of deliberate splendid Nicoleizian isolation, Bernie Sanders, Korojaunu of the UNSR was ready to take action about the events of the last few months’ developments. The UNSR had stayed out of European affairs as it had feared invasion, the main objective of its foreign policy was to avoid this at all costs. Hence why it will likely never give up its nuclear arms. But this isolation was now coming to an end. The situation had become much better in Europolis, maybe this retreat from the main stage had done the nation well ? Either way, the man in charge of the nation’s foreign policy, Sanders, was happy about the recent developments.

Sanders was to attend a summit among party insiders about the nation’s options for joining the EU.

“Do you want the red tie with the hammers and sickles or the dark red tie with the stars ?” His loyal wife asked.

“Uhhh… the hammers and sickles please.”

“Okay I’ll iron it !” She yelled from the living room.

Sanders then went into the loo to get himself ready. Whilst shaving, he remarked upon the scar he had got during his kidnapping attempt. At this point, Sanders still didn’t know which option he would come out in favour for. Joining or remaining outside of. Would this scar remind him of the danger of going alone ? Or was the danger of integration with such … wild … nations the wrong decision, too ? He thought while scrubbing his molars about the intricacies of the position the UNSR found itself in.

The PCN Congress happened fairly rarely. It was a chance for a small council of high-ups to discuss policy. There, was of course Jirluchuz, the glue of the nation, Carole Baskin, Speaker of the Assembly of Workers, Cécile Laucre, the Speaker of the Assembly of Nationalities and a small assortment of other politicians. The guest list was incredibly exclusive.

The conference was held in a lavish hotel, formerly owned by Prince Tommy. It had been a den of scum and villainy that no one had enjoyed for many years. The gambling tables were, of course, stripped out, leaving large halls of, not much, really. Jirluchuz took the stage, flanked by flags of all the republics and of course the national flag. He seemed rather vigorous for a man of his years. He did a small hop onto the stage.

“Comrades. A choice is in front of us. We now have the option to adhere into the European Union. Whether we take this decision or not, I trust the party, and the nation will back whatever choice we make. As Father of the Nation, I want all voices to be heard. Which is why I have invited the Presidents of each Republic here. You are all most welcome. As someone whose grandparents are from each republic, I recognise the tensions between us sometimes. But I know that, through socialism, we will succeed in putting these differences aside and emphasising only the richness of our cultures and languages. It is my profound wish that we do not argue about this publicly, we need to show a sign of strength and decisiveness to the European Community. To start off this debate will be Cécile Laucre. Comrade, please come up.”

Cécile Laucre had a base of Eurosceptics. But here, she had no public to appease. It was only the cream of the party crop. No one who was actually worth keeping up ideological purity for. Everyone was wondering what she was going to argue for.

“Comrades.” The Grande Dame of Nicoleizian politics said, without an ounce of self doubt. “The time has come to decide. No more dilly dallying, pets. The EU is our biggest threat. Any benefits that it may bring would only be to a class of Kulaks that we must seek to liquidate. Comrades. We mustn’t shackle ourselves to edicts of the ECoJ, or the Council. For whatever defensive or diplomatic benefits it brings us, it also brings down our sovereignty to act. To make a socialist omelette, you have to break a few kulak eggs, comrades !” Cécile paused for the rapturous applause from her allies. “Comrades. Our dawn is just beginning. We need to stay independent during this transition. It hasn’t and won’t be easy.”

Jirluchuz thanked her for her contribution and welcomed Carole Baskin onto the stage.

“Comrades of all genders and none.” Carole said, ignoring that comrade is already a gender neutral term. “Icholasen is a proud lion, that is true, but one that should be in a pride. That one’s for you LGBTs ! We shouldn’t have to spend so much on military defence, when we should be spending it on the energy transition and the people. We will perish and be deposed if we spend money on defence rather than the people. That’s what happened in the 90s, bitch. Girlbosses, boybosses, and thembosses. We need to stop getting gaslighted by the soldiers ! We’re an island we can defend ourselves, and defend ourselves better in the EU. And, of course, the benefits of being able to export workers’ rights to the people of Europe via the council, and participate in the many great schemes of the EU. Like the seed trust. Comrades, isn’t it time we take inside us the seed of Europe ?”

Jirluchuz again thanked the speaker, Carole Baskin, and called up the next speaker. The Korojaunu, Sanders. The room THUNDEROUSLY applauded Sanders, eventually fading out to complete silence and apprehension of what this heavyweight was going to say.

“Comrades.” Sanders said, only having decided which side he would come out in favour of a few minutes before. “The EU is imperfect. The EU cannot enforce its own laws. This is why I am in favour of adhesion into it. Whatever we do, they cannot stop us in our relentless pursuit of socialism. What will they do, fine us ? I think we get our cake AND eat it. We get both our revolution, and the ability to maintain our revolution. No one will invade an EU member that has a nuclear deterrent. It simply won’t happen. If we disagree with any laws, we simply shan’t obey them. Comrades, this is a golden opportunity. That is all I have to say.”

Jirluchuz took to the stage and thanked all the participants. “Comrades, we, the executive council shall now vote.”

Once the voting was complete, Jirluchuz convened the members. “Comrades we have reached a decision. I trust it will be respected. Our position is too fragile to vacillate on this. See it done, comrades, that we join the EU.”

[Icholasen]

Partiya Laucraya Part 2 The Laucraning

---

Cécile Laucre was furious. Baskin had outwitted her once again - this time on the EU. She wondered if it was now time to drop the evidence she had about her. That she is a murderess. Or was it time to wait ?

She decided to talk to the Chairman of the party about the evidence she had found. She had told him before, but was not ready to share the evidence.

She went to the Chairman's Dacha in the country in her government car and was escorted inside.

"Ms. Laucre. It is a pleasure to see you. What is that you wanted to discuss ?"

"Carole Baskin."

"Hmm. I thought as much. I am sorry that the vote didn't go your way, but not everything can. We need to move on." Jirluchuz said, putting a humbug in his mouth.

"No, no. Comrade, you know as well I as do that she has done something much worse than be a revisionist lib."

Jirluchuz looked shocked, and then remembered. He hoped nothing would rock the boat he had been so careful to keep steady.

"I have undisputable proof she murdered her husband."

"What is the nature of this... proof ?"

"Photos, videos, fingerprints. All we need to convict her."

"Sometimes, murder is necessary, my child. I believe she must have done it for a good reason. Please, like I said before, we cannot afford to become disunited. Please, please, trust me, comrade. I know how to steer the ship of the revolution. I need your confidence."

"Comrade I-" she caught her tongue. "You're right, comrade. You're right. However, I would like to show you the evidence that I have gathered."

Jirluchuz hesitated. "Okay."

After seeing the evidence, Jirluchuz knew that it was going to be damaging when it came out -- the dichotomy and tension between Baskin and Laucre was going to boil over if this were ever released.

"Cécile, please get rid of this evidence. It is for the good of the country that this never sees the light of day. People cannot lose confidence in the new institutions - or we will all pay."

She was outraged that he would even suggest this. But not so stupid to only have one copy. She 'complied' and got rid of the videos she had showed him in front of him. Luckily, they were also stored elsewhere.

"Thank you." Jirluchuz said. "I really must be getting back to work, and I imagine you do too, comrade."

"Yes, comrade. I need to get back to Cesae Vauvra."

In the car back to the city, Laucre was incandescent with rage. She would have the last laugh, though, she knew it. However, her respect for Jirluchuz still trumped her anger. She would not release the photos while he was alive and breathing, she vowed to herself.

"Driver, play Fight Song by Rachel Platten." She commanded.

Back at the dacha, Jirluchuz paced round his office. The mutual rage Laucre and Baskin felt for each other was not good for the nation. They both wanted the top job, to consolidate power for their respective factions. He knew it could get very nasty very quickly. Jirluchuz went to the bathroom, and coughed up more worrying drops of blood............

[Icholasen]

Baskin Case ?

---

Carole Baskin was flushing some incriminating evidence of her murder down the toilet when the pizza hut delivery boy rang the smart doorbell.

She opened her phone and a young delivery boy appeared; "uhh... did you order a veggie supreme pizza ?"

"Yes, that's me ! Just one second." She flushed the toilet.

She opened the door and tipped him some of Icholasen's worthless currency.

Soon, her co-conspirator, Elvira Lovescome came round. Elvira was, to Baskin's knowledge, the only MILF or DILF in Icholasen, who knew about her murder. They tucked into their pizza hut pizza and thanked comrade Jirluchuz for keeping pizza hut open.

"Carole, I have something to tell you."

"Did you get an apprentice spoiler on a discord chat ?!" Carole asked.

"No, it's thankfully not as bad as that." She said, drinking some off-brand Nicoleizian mountain dew. "I heard from my cousin's sister's guinea pig sitter that Jirluchuz knows about your murder."

"How- how would he know ? We've been so diligent, Elvira."

"I know, but that's what the guinea pig sitter said... and I trust this source."

"I shall have to confront him."

"Carole... that could make it worse."

"Perhaps, but I have to know. I'll be subtle."

---

Baskin arrived at the Dacha, Jirluchuz was rather surprised to being seeing two important people in one day.

"So Jirluchuz... heard any gossip about me recently ?"

"Um. No." He said quickly, shifting his eyes around the room. "But I have recently been to the zoo-"

"Okay. Let's be real. You know I murdered my husband." Baskin said, perhaps too loudly.

"Yes, I know. But I have been trying to cover it up. And you need to make efforts, too."

"Jirluchuz, I know what I'm doing."

"Do you ?"

"Yes ! Yes. What have you done to cover it up ?"

"I have asked someone to get rid of their evidence."

"Good... Good, very good." Said Baskin. "Thank you... Who ?"

"I am not at liberty to disclose that, Carole."

"It's that bitch Laucre, isn't it ?"

Jirluchuz's facial expression betrayed his secret.

Jirluchuz sighed. "Just, stay civil, you two. At least in public. Please."

"For you, of course."

Jirluchuz thanked his lucky stars he was so respected by these cats. "Please, I am a very busy man."

Baskin returned to Cesae Vauvra with Elvira and they watched the new episode of the Apprentice on Elvira's VPN.

[Icholasen]

Partiya Jirluchuza: The Final Countdown

---

CESAU VAUVRA, THE NICOLEIZIAN CAPITAL

Mrs Jirluchuz

Jirluchuz died peacefully in his sleep on the night of the 15th of August, 2022. The only person to be made aware immediately was Korojaunu Sanders and Mrs Marguerita Jirluchuz.

“Marguerita, we have to keep this a secret as long as possible.” Sanders declared.

“Are you sure that’s wise, Korojaunu ? My husband was the greatest leader this nation has ever had. In order for his legacy to not be tarnished by this politicking of yours, this announcement needs to be transparent.”

“Marguerita for goodness sake. His legacy is on the line, the whole Union could collapse !”

“You cannot weekend at Bernie’s the head of state of the UNSR. You just can’t.”

“Watch me. If you peep you’ll meet your husband in socialist atheist heaven sooner rather than later.”

---

Cécile Laucre

Whilst watching “Keeping Up With The Stakhanovites which was now on its 3rd season, Mrs. Jirluchuz was faced with a choice. She knew Sanders controlled the guards that kept her safe. If they turned on her she had no chance of saving herself. But she remembered what she had heard before… that Cécile Laucre also had a secret to share.

“Hello my dear.” Marguerita Jirluchuz said to the 2nd, though for all Cécile knew, 3rd in command of the UNSR. “Come, your horse is ready.”
They rode quickly for about 15 minutes, enough to escape the guards' earshot, and then slowed down along a stream.

“Cécile, my husband’s health has deteriorated.”

“Oh dear.” She said. Not knowing if she was able to hide her excitement.

“In fact, he’s dead.”

“YESSS GET IN SUCK MY BALLS YOU OLD BITCH” Cécile thought to herself, pensively.

“But you mustn’t tell anyone you don’t absolutely trust yet, Sanders is trying to keep it a secret, and if it slips he’ll know it was me and have me killed. But, I want you to plan with your allies to depose him when it is revealed he was a snake who was stopping the the truth coming out, and to also depose Baskin with what you know about her.”

“How do you know-“

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is we have a chance to govern this country together.”

“Comrade, it will be done.” Cécile declared.

—————

Mrs Marguerita Jirluchuz speaking at the anniversary ball for the UNSR against lung cancer summit

Weeks passed and with the excellent acting work of Marguerita, Jirluchuz stayed effectively alive. She told the cameras he was ill, but he is getting better every time they saw her. Any day now he’ll be back. Marguerita increasingly took on Jirluchuz’s roles, at first just attending ribbon cuttings for new donkey farms, but moving on exactly a month after his death go presiding over the Party Conference. A ceremonial role, of course, but it allowed her to make a keynote speech to the party. In the meantime, Cécile broke the news to her most trusted allies, and planned their strategy for her becoming Korojaunu and removing Baskin while she was at it. They all gathered in a clique at the Party Conference and listened to what Marguerita had to say.

[Icholasen]

Don't cry for me, Icholasen

---

Marguerita Jirluchuz looking stateswomanly as she delivered the keynote speech at the party conference

"It won't be easy." Marguerita said. "You'll think it strange. When I try to explain how I feel. That I still need your love after all that I've done... You won't believe me, all you will see is a girl you once knew, although she's dressed up to the nines. At sixes and sevens with you. I had to let it happen, I had to change. Couldn't stay all my life down at heel. Looking out of the window, staying out of the sun. So I chose freedom, running around trying everything new. But nothing impressed me at all... I never expected it to. Don't cry for me, Icholasen. The truth is, I never left you. All through my wild days, my mad existence. I kept my promise... Don't keep your distance."

The crowd erupted in thunderous applause. Electrifying the room.

Marguerita then took out an envelope. "In this envelope are two peoples names, people who have committed crimes against our country, our union, and communism itself." She opened it. "And the nominees for traitors to the state are as follows: Taylor Swift !"

The camera panned to Ms. Swift, she had been accused of being a traitor MANY times, to many organisations, would this be her time to win ???!!

"The next person is Carole Baskin."

Carole looked nervous, soldiers were entering the theatre.

"And finally, Bernard Sanders. Our oh so beloved Korojaunu... And the winner is. Oh wait, I am hearing we have two winners."

Taylor was ecstatic, finally she would get the recognition she deserved.

"Bernie and ... Carole ! Please come to the stage you guys."

They initially hesitated, but were encouraged by the guards with AK-47s.

Bernie Sanders and Carole Baskin arrived on the stage.

"GUARDS !!" Yelled Bernie. "Stop this mad witch !!!!!!" No response. It was clear Cécile Laucre had taken charge, and shared her control with Marguerita.

"Now," Mrs Jirluchuz said. "What crimes have been committed here ? Let's start with Carole. You killed your husband, whacked him ! And we have a slideshow of evidence to prove it." On the projector behind her, she detailed text messages, stopped to listen to an audio recording of her admittal, and other murder paraphernalia appeared onscreen. "Now, for Bernie. It really pains me to have to expose you. Our leader, Jirluchuz is dead."

The audience gasped.

"Yes. 15 days ago. And Bernie has colluded to keep it a secret." Evidence once again played onscreen.

"Now, these treasonous individuals will be executed. In the meantime let us continue in our jubilation at communism's triumphs, and the election of a new Korojaunu will take place."

[Icholasen]

Mayday !

---

Élisabeth Avril

Seeing what was going on as a member of the audience, Elisabeth Avril, President of the largest Socialist Republic of the UNSR was worried. She was sat in the theatre with close friend, Anne-Marie David, the President of the Romain Socialist Republic. They were both AEN leaders. The conference was over for the day, and they were allowed to leave.

Anne-Marie David

They both found a meeting place that they believed was not wiretapped.

"It will be suspicious if we return to our republics, but I fear we must." David said.

"Yes. I propose we unilaterally declare our joint independence."

"I fear that that is the only way, now.

"Perhaps it is time to get Faith involved." David stated. "Let us get her Holiness the Bishop of Foam on the phone."

"It's jammed. All calls outside of the UNSR are blocked."

"Okay. I will call my private helicopter to take us back to our capitals tonight. Maybe from there we can get outside help."

---

Saint Romain

"Hello. This is a broadcast message for a WARNING." The voice of President Anne-Marie David declared. "The Republic of Romain has declared its independence from the UNSR, and has joined a union with the Republic of Romain to form the Federal Republic of Icholasen, effective immediately. We call all citizens to stay indoors."

---

Cesae Vauvra

The atmosphere in the government was abysmal. Marguerita had taken over, and Laucre was sidelined. Members of Cécile's circle were incandescent with rage at this, they couped Sanders to put Cécile, a proven leader in charge. Not this amateur ! Despite this, Mrs Jirluchuz made some key decisions. When protesters entered the streets of Cesae Vauvra in support of the new Federal Republic of Icholasen, Jirluchuz sent in the tanks. The tanks were unable to move in the swarms of people, and they were unwilling to, as well.

Support remained high for the UNSR in the north, however, and so Cécile retreated there, to meet with the governors of the still loyal northern Republic Presidents, Laulw Forin of Kicrlaunk, and Imelda Wuaulsh of Nuwnociluosoaulaunk.

Laulw Forin and Imelda Wuaulsh

"Ladies." Declared Cécile. The situation has grown out of control. What I'm about to propose may seem... counterintuitive... but it is key to our survival. We must depose Mrs. Jirluchuz and consolidate power in our republics. Make the necessary preparations for martial law in the northern provinces."

"Yes, Comrade Laucre." They said in unision.

[Icholasen]

Reckoning

---

Cécile Laucre

The residence of the Korojaunu was empty. Sanders and his wife were now long gone, where she was not sure. She was so caught up in attacking that bitch Baskin that she didn't consider that she was betraying her friend. Laucre walked through the empty halls, pondering her next move. A luger pistol in her hand.

The Korojaunu's residence was conveniently connected to the main government complex, and Cécile made her way there.

The door opened and Cécile took out her gun. There was a gasp from all in the room.

"I don't want to hurt you, Marguerita. I really don't. But it's time to give the reins to me. You've already done enough damage."

"Guards, kill her." Marguerita said. But the guards did not follow her order.

"Take her to the prison." Cécile ordered. The loyal guards complied. "And get me David on the phone."

A guard scrambled to find a contact for the new Saint Romain government. Eventually, he managed to.

"Anne-Marie, comrade. I am sad that it has come to this. But the realpolitik obliges me to recognise that it is time for us to negotiate, will you take me up on that ?"

Anne-Marie conferred with Elisabeth. "We are prepared to negotiate. What are your terms."

"For the meantime, our government will control the day-to-day running of the 2 northern republics and the land we have been able to control in the north of Rujonau. You will control the areas in the Republics under your control. Cesae Vauvra will be a neutral ground where the negotiations will take place for the break up of the UNSR."

After some deliberation, David declared: "we agree to these terms."

[Icholasen]

Tu te reconnaîtras

---

You will recognise yourself

Anne-Marie David, interim President of the Federal Republic of Icholasen

The negotiations seemed simple to Anne-Marie David. She was happy to just become independent. The only point of contention was to be the status of Cesae Vauvra / Saint Regina. As a neutral zone, neither party controlled it.

"Firstly, I'd like to thank you for coming to the table." Cécile said.

"It is my pleasure, Cécile."

Cécile presented a map, detailing modest concessions from the Continuity UNSR to the Federal Republic. This was very satisfactory to Anne-Marie, it was beyond her wildest dreams to just be here.

"This is an acceptable initial border for us. But, what about the status of Saint Regina."

Cécile raised her eyebrow of the use of the old word for the city, since renamed Cesae Vauvra. "We think it should be under our control."

"Well, I obviously do not agree with that. There must be some kind of compromise. Would you accept it being a neutral city ?"

"No. But what I would accept is it being divided."

"Are you nuts ?!"

"It is the only deal my colleagues and I are willing to accept, other than it being under our control."

"Well..." Anne-Marie said, looking again at the territory of her new Republic. "What demarcation line have you chosen ?"

"Like this. We control the East, and you would control the West."

"We are prepared to provisionally accept that. What about the nuclear weapons ?"

"We would keep them, but would not throw a fuss if you were to accept those decadent capitalists' nukes on your territory.

Anne-Marie David was a passionate environmentalist. She hated everything nuclear, and was happy to let them have their dirty bombs. She also knew that her fledgling republic's security was not under threat from the continuity UNSR. She believed she would have the support of almost all of the European powers.

"We are prepared to agree to that."

"Is that all the housekeeping ?" Cécile said, nonchalantly, as if she hadn't just divided an entire country.

"Yes, I believe so."

The two women signed the treaty, dividing Icholasen in two.