More than a debacle

[Sertia]

The situation:

• Aspern was recently granted independence, with Guthrún Wond as their leader. Aspern has been under martial law since its independence, showing hostility towards Sertia in the north.

• The Aspernian government has since then been responsible for the kidnapping of about one hundred Sertian citizens from the border, most of whom were known to be enthusiastic dissenters to the Aspernian regime.

• Among these people kidnapped were three journalists from Yosai and the United Duchies who had published articles condemning the Aspernian schism.

• These kidnappings are seen by the Sertian government, officially known as the Brætha, as violations of the separation treaty.

[Sertia]

"Sir, Yosai are on the phone. Brace yourself, they're quite, uh, upset".

Head Brætha Fornithias Cranst said in response, "Well, I imagine so", and he picked up the receiver. "Mr. Watanabe, a pleasure as always".

A series of loud curses and insults came through the receiver, such that Cranst had to pull his ear slightly away from the phone. In his startled state Cranst hit the 'speaker' button, and Mr. Watanabe's expletives were to hear for the entire, gathered Brætha.

"Mr. Watanabe, please, calm yourself," Cranst said in an effort to save his ears and his reputation.

"Calm myself!? Calm myself!!?? You kidnap one of our citizens and then turn around and tell me to CALM DOWN!!!!????"

Cranst tried to speak between the bursts of pure rage spewing out the speakers in the War Room, which had conveniently just been upgraded so that members of the Brætha could play music while they worked.

"Mr. Watanabe, if you could...please...Mr. Watanabe...please...hello?....mister...."

This continued for another five minutes before, Cranst presumed, Watanabe ran out of breath and let Cranst speak.

"Mr. Watanabe, please...I understand your anger but please do not be angry at us. We did not kidnap your journalist".

"Oh really? So he just begged you to tie him up and hide him?"

The Brætha for Foreign Affairs, who was sat two chairs to the left of Cranst, emitted a coughing squealing noise. Everyone turned to look.

Cranst continued. "Mr Watanabe, I appreciate that you are angry, but our hands were tied. Our very own Sertian Domex tells us that we must grant independence to powerful movements of people against the government. This was not just a whim of ours".

Watanabe had calmed himself, but the venom still remained. "Right, so it's your problem".

"Well, it's now an international problem because it's your citizens and Duchian citizens--". Cranst was cut off.

"This is something your people need to sort out. You kidnapped one of ours and--". This time it was Cranst who cut off Mr. Watanabe.

"WE ARE NOT ASPERN! OKAY? WE ARE NOT ASPERN! ASPERN ARE THE IDIOTS WHO HAVE STOLEN YOUR CITIZEN! WE ARE SERTIA, OKAY?? SERTIA! SER, TIA! SAY IT! SAY IT!"

(Silence from Watanabe)

"SAY IT!" Cranst was shrieking into the microphone so loudly that Watanabe could be seen to be pulling away from the receiver over the screen.

"My apologies, dear Watanabe, I thought I should clarify that for you. Anyway, I have called you because I would like to tell you that tonight we are going to get your citizens back".

[Sertia]

After explaining the situation to Mr. Watanabe, saying goodbye and hanging up, Cranst turned around let out a massive sigh. Managing the Brætha during a crisis operation was like trying to herd cats.

"Have you spoken to the Spanish military about going into Aspern tonight?" Cranst openly asked the gathered members of the Brætha.

No response.

"Hello! Respected members of the Brætha!"

No response. Too busy were they messing about to notice Cranst turning red in the face.

"Esteemed colleagues--" one Brætha member pulled out a bottle of Prew's Own whisky and had a swig.

"My dear friends--". Another Brætha member was staring at a lemon. Where on Earth did he get that bloody lemon!!?

At long last Cranst had enough. He turned the speakers to full volume and threw the microphone across the room. It made impact with the floor on the other side of the War Room, making a squelch so loud that many members of the Brætha fell backwards out of their seats. Silence, finally, filled the room.

Cranst did not wait for them to recover. He marched over to the Brætha for Home Affairs and asked, very loudly and bluntly, "Have you asked the Spanish if they'll invade Aspern tonight?"

The Brætha for Home Affairs nodded, squinting his eyes.

"Brilliant. See? That was all I f***ing needed!" Cranst shouted. He retrieved the microphone, now dented, and walked to the front of the to, where he turned the phone on and called Mr. Jésus Aguilar.

The Spanish President answered the phone, looking rather suspiciously at the room behind Mr. Cranst, where discombobulated members of the Brætha were hanging onto the edges of the ancient table.

"Mr. Aguilar, lovely to see you. We're ready to go ahead with the retrieval of Individual #1".

[Spain]

Aguilar picked up the videocall while flying towards Sertia once again this year, as the situation was indeed of importance. He was, nevertheless, impressed to see people on the room hanging onto the edges of the ancient table, and his face could not hide what he thought, but he decided not to ask and rather proceed with the conversation:

"Mr. Cranst, it is also lovely to see you once again. My plane is actually flying over the Atlantic Ocean and will soon be landing in Sertia, and I will be heading to the meeting point we have designated. About Individual #1, the Spanish Armed Forces deployed in the island have been granted permission by the Spanish Government, and King Felipe VI has been informed. It is all up to you now, Fornithias".