AKEM LINEK FOR COMMISSION JUNE 2023

Istkalen

AKEM LINEK'S PROMISES TO RETURN HAPPINESS TO THE PEOPLE

I will put a stop to the nonsense visions. Half of the time no one wants Commission-proposed reforms. I will not propose any useless amendments and so on of the type that have failed time and time again.
I will put a stop to the constant bickering in the Council. No one in Europe likes the useless arguments of our politicians. I will make clear that settled issues have been settled.
I will make sure Europe responds to real and ongoing problems. I won't make grievances and problems up out of thin air. Instead, I will watch the situation in Europe and react when peace and happiness are threatened.
I will work to change the enforcement of European law. I will coordinate with the Internal Affairs Commissioner to see how we can make the interpretation and enforcement of European law better for the member-states, and make our changes clear to the public so that they understand.
I will make sure that the Commission is transparent. When we do something important, I will give, through the European Commission App, a speech about what it is and how it returns happiness to the people.

Istkalen

RALLY 1: VIRTUAL, FROM KIRELESILE, ISTKALEN

Friends and compatriots, brothers and sisters:

Thank you for joining me on this Zoom app to listen to me.

It has always been my mission in life to return happiness to the people. When I was five years old, I was sitting in the middle of school and was eating a cake. Many children, I saw, were unhappy because they did not have the cake I did, and were crying nearby. Unhappiness always makes me unhappy, so I tried to cheer them up. I told them that they had to be happy with their lot in life and had to work for what they wanted, and that handouts would only make them more sad. After that, they cried only tears of joy.

Now I am an adult, and in Europe I again see a lot of unhappiness among the people, and I am again unhappy because of it. But this unhappiness is not because people do not have what they want. People are unhappy now because what they deserve has been taken from them.

The people of Europe work to pay for the Union. They work to keep it alive. But the Union gives nothing back to them but bad governance. In some ways this has improved recently. Fishers and farmers, for example, now get lots of money from it, and now they are all Juncker and European fanatics. But for most people this is not the case. For most people, the Union is still like some sort of useless blob that absorbs their labor and their money.

Who would not be unhappy with a useless blob sucking away at everything you have? No one, nobody.

I want the Union to stop being a useless blob. That is why I am running. That is why I have made the promises I have. I will repeat them now, and explain them clearly, so that all of you can understand how I want to save Europe and return happiness to you all.

I will put a stop to the nonsense visions for Europe. A lot of Commissioners have gone and said that they will try some grand reform. Biden wanted to reform how the Council worked, so many different people, Kalessed, Juncker, wanted to put sovereignty-based restrictions in the Constitution, and so on and so on. In the end all they waste is time and money, because no one wants their reforms. Therefore, I will not make any useless proposals of that type, because they only take away the people's money and create with it nothing but tiresome, fruitless debates.

If I want Constitutional reform - and I do, I want to make sure that random laws are not forced down people's throats - I will only get it done by guiding the Council in so and so direction. I will talk with Councillors and express my opinions, and when there are enough Councillors present I will talk about my ideas in discussion. It is the Council's responsibility to make reform, and I will let it do so. All I will do is guide and influence it so that it makes the right and good reforms, not the bad ones.

I will also put a stop to the nonsense bickering in the Council. No one wants to hear about random personal grievances or about issues that have been discussed a thousand times. I will firstly keep a list of issues that have been resolved, so that the Councillors cannot lie to argue more about them, and also create a giant wall of shame outside of the Commission and Council buildings where the faces of Councillors who argue about nonsense too much will go, so that they will be embarassed and will stop.

I will also make sure that Europe responds to real and ongoing problems. Rather than making a mountain out of a molehill, I will listen to the happenings in Europe, and offer help and mediation when something bad happens. I will also treat problems we already know about with good and productive legislation. Juncker's Agricultural Fund, which helped to solve the problem of credit for farmers, is one example of this, and I will expand on it. I will offer credit with a fund for technology entrepreneurs and open the Arts Collaboration Fund to all artists. I will also propose a system of climate pledges, where a country can pledge to reduce emissions by such-and-such amount and receive subsidies in return.

More importantly, I will change the ways European laws come into force. The Constitution gives the IAC the power to enforce the interpret and enforce the laws. I want to work with whoever the IAC may be to make sure that this is done and that people understand how it is done, all in a way that is better for the member-states and for all of you in general.

Lastly, I will improve transparency. Whenever we do something, I will be sure to explain it, in clear words so that everyone can understand, through the European Commission App, and then talk about how it returns happiness to the people so that they can know how it benefits them and can feel like the Union is more than a useless faraway blob.

That's all! Vote Akem Linek for Premier Commissioner! Goodbye!

[meeting abruptly ends]