Give a Kick to Corruption - Vote for the Shoe!
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THE SHOE'S VISION
The shoe makes no promises except those it can keep, and keeps all those promises it makes. And it will not stop now. It will serve the European Union as faithfully as it did its former owner, with the greatest possible honesty and clarity.
This is its vision - a vision of a cleaner, more transparent, and more sustainable Europe, a vision of a Europe for the people, and not trillionnaire oligarchs: a Europe where:
- not a cent of your money will be used to fund corruption.
- not an iota of your trust will be exploited by rich elites to shove their mandates down your throats.
- not even the smallest fraction of European power will be used to benefit oligarchs and their cronies.
Here are the shoe's simple demands.
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Our money is our money! The shoe will work with the Premier Commissioner to re-establish full democratic control over the budget and stop our money from flowing to the corrupt.
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Out with the oligarchs! The shoe will require that all European officials divest themselves of their assets for the duration of their term.
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Stop the mandates! The shoe will repeal ridiculous ECoJ rulings and Council mandates that erode sovereignty, while requiring that all future programs and regulations passed by the EU be funded through its budget.
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Respect over all! The shoe will enforce the laws in respect of cultural differences. Our legal code will not be used to persecute those who dare to be different!
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Good governance for the people! The shoe will work with the Premier to get European bureaucracies running smoothly, transparently, and in accordance with the law.
Send a message in these upcoming elections - vote the shoe to give a good kick to corruption!
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RALLY NO. 1 - KIRELESILE, ISTKALEN
Revolution Square was filled to the brim, flooded with throngs of people waiting, eagerly, with bated breath, for the arrival of the Shoe.
The Shoe would be their savior, they whispered excitedly to each other; it would be their Messiah, their great champion, delivering them from the ravages wrought by the European elite. It would rend all asunder, would turn the world order on its head, would bring an end to all misery, would replace all the sadness and prosperity of the times with only happiness and prosperity. Its election would usher in an unprecedented millennium of peace; the world would never be the same again.
From above, as loud music suddenly began to blast out of large speakers set around the crowd, came the loud choppings and whirrs of a helicopter, slowly descending into the still empty, cordoned-off middle of the square. The people cheered, a sound of wild, unbridled joy and enthusiasm that crescendoed into true magnificence, the highest, purest possible expression of the most extreme jubilation - and from the heavens suddenly fell, in great, lavish heaps, shoe-shaped chocolates, wrapped in gold foil,
As the helicopter continued its slow descent, the people stretched to reach, hopping on tip-toe, for the falling chocolates, screaming hysterically, joyfully, overcome by the generosity of this gift of their Shoe most dear. "Thank you!" they shouted, tears streaming down their cheeks, "thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
The helicopter at last alighted on the ground, and the screams grew louder, more ardent, more hysterical, a great, collective, heaving cry in celebration and in awe of the Shoe that, in its infinite kindness and mercy, had emerged from its retirement to redeem and to save them.
Two men, in military-green uniforms, emerged from the helicopter's door, holding the great Shoe above their heads - and now the screaming grew even louder and more ardent.
Those at the front of the crowd threw themselves down, convulsing and sobbing, crying, "The Shoe! The Shoe! Hail to the Shoe!" again and again, as the rest dissolved into complete, incoherent hysteria, dancing and jumping and shouting and screaming and praising and praying in glorious cacophony because the Shoe was, at last, among them, and they could not take it.
The men set the shoe down on a high pedestal as the hysteria crescendoed into a singularity of praise and worship, the crowd melding into one voice, one soul, one will, united in dedication and awe to and for the Shoe. They had all ceased to be individuals; they were no longer Makketis and Milrakas and Erkanas and Iras and so on, as they had been, but all a single organism, without name, without identity, with nothing but a single purpose - to bring about the reign of the Shoe - united, completely, by their all-consuming devotion.
And the shoe was silent. It did not move, it did not speak; it did nothing but sit on its pedestal. It was, after all, an inanimate object, without will, without life; it could not have done anything but remain still and unmoving.
A minute of its silence passed - and suddenly, an applause, like a thunderstorm, rose from the crowd, louder, louder, louder, louder, rising with power and strength until it had become even greater that the sound of a clap of thunder, until it had become like the voice of God, impossibly commanding, impossibly strong.
The shoe remained silent.
Another applause.
Still the shoe remained silent.
And still there was another applause.
And still the shoe remained completely silent.
And still the applause went up.
It went on for an hour, silence and applause, silence and applause, until at last the rally ended and the two men came to take the shoe away.
The crowd, in intense anguish, screamed and cried and reached out so as to keep the Shoe with them, so as to be with their Benefactor, their Redeemer, for but a moment more, throwing themselves on the ground because they could no longer take life without the Shoe, having been given a taste of it, tearing at themselves because they had, in a moment, come to know what could be possible with the Shoe, and yet now would be losing it forever.
The helicopter rose up again from the crowd as the people continued to fruitlessly grasp out for the Shoe, their faces and eyes red with unfathomable sorrow.
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