The Porte-parole of the UNSR
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This is the official channel for communications made by the Politburo of the UNSR.
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Bernie Sanders is now back in Icholasen safe and sound and we would like to thank all the people who assisted with that operation. However, the Politburo of the UNSR would like to report some diplomatic steps that we are taking to protect the security of Nicoleizians abroad.
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Firstly, the Politburo is banning all travel and trade to Reitzmag.
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Any ships or planes already on their way to the country must turn around immediately.
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The repatriation of citizens will begin, with planes from the Icholasen Air Cooperative being lent to the government to fulfill this.
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Icholasen would, finally, like to reiterate its commitment to European peace, and as such has retired its airforce from all of Europe, except Czech Slavia where 9 Squadrons of SU-57 fighters will remain for the security of the Czech people.
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The Reitzmag Aggressor will not be allowed to continue and we thank other European nations for their solidarity in this trying time for the UNSR.
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Bernie Sanders, Nicoleizian Foreign Minister, has made the following statement:
"We find the events in Inquistah to be most shocking, and we hope for good relations with whatever government comes out on the other side of elections. We are sad that Craticus no longer leads the great nation of Inquistah, but we understand that revolutions happen and often they are for the best. We wish the Inquistan people luck at this time."
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Bernie Sanders has made the following statement about Neo Venetia:
"We support the Communist Revolutionaries in Neo Venetia and we are willing to provide some ground troops and/or materials and weapons to them if they need them. We will not be providing huge numbers ground troops or any planes due to the complex situation in that region and its long distance from Icholasen. However, as the situation develops and the needs of the Neo Venetian Revolutionaries develop we will modify our strategy. Onwards, Comrades."
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The Acting Culture Minister, Jeanne Kaushuronu has made the following statement.
"The UNSR will be sending an act to Eurovoice in Angleter as we are the legitimate government of Icholasen and the rightful successor for the next Eurovoice song contest. We believe we are the rightful successor of the 2 EV wins achieved by Icholasen and numerous runner up places. We do not claim the following entries: Mistki (5th out of 6th), Doc Mustard (11th out of 12th) and also Paloma Faith who came second but is a reactionary."
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The following statement has been made by Bernie Sanders:
"All restrictions concerning Reitzmag do not apply to Copala City and New Moreland as we are all working to help this region after a callous Inquistahn attack. We will support its economic development in all ways we can, including by allowing our cooperatives to work there and by lifting any and all economic or diplomatic restrictions that we had on it."
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Bernie Sanders has been delighted to accept the role of Treasurer of the Party of the European Left. Despite not supporting money as a construct, Sanders had the following to say:
"Icholasen believes in the principles of internationalism and so fully supports the foundation of the PEL. With the PEL, we will get Icholasen's real government recognised on the European stage and also get that [REDACTED] Eilidh Whiteford out of office for good. With the PEL, we hope to force some of these capitalist oligarchies to provide rights to their citizenry, rights such as the democratisation of the workplace, housing rights and, most importantly, rights to free healthcahre! We need Europe to recognise that the left is back and is here to stay, and liberals such as Firoux need to go back to pandering to LGBT people without improving their lives in their own countries and not stop vital change in the Council."
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Taylor Swift, Minister of Culture has made the following Presentation
'Calling all socialist realism stans! Ever since I became Minister of Culture, I've wanted to showcase the best art, music and sports that Icholasen has to offer. And believe me, we have a lot ! Now, some people call me fake - I can't think why, I'm the one and only me! And so to prove I'm real, as well as that the UNSR is real, we're showcasing some socialist realism that depicts life within the UNSR. It's great content, ladies! We have some stunning pieces of art that are both very socialist and very realist - whatever that means !
Here is a woman with a massive pair... of pumpkins ! What will she make ? Who knows but I bet it'll be tasty and will NOT have any dairy in it.
Here are two lovely men from the UNSR and Czech Slavia - the flags are alternate versions of each nation's flag. They might be gay for each other - who knows. They look like the kind of fellas that would have a 5 year plan to get a Condo in Prague and a chocolate labrador. I, Taylor Swift, support the gays now that it's convenient for my career !
Here are some brave, brave, power workers making sure that all Nicoleizians can get access to power so that they can bully Speaker Firoux on twitter.
This is an amazing painting. It depicts Foreign Secretary and now Korojaunu and Foreign Secretary Bernard Sanders in the cells of a Reitzmic dungeon. Here, Mark Johnson (though he claims to not have been involved) and Coventry (who has since been murdered) can be seen interrogating a brave Sanders. Sanders had been kidnapped by Reitzmag in hopes that the UNSR would offer them some Nicoleizian planes which are good or whatever. I don't know about planes, I sing for a living Comrades. Sanders held out and was eventually rescued due to the diplomatic skill of Chairman Jirluchuz.
This is one of my favourites, it depicts the USNR winning the 2020 Euros. Which the UNSR definitely did win. If anyone says otherwise they are a reactionary.
Here is an image that is very close to my heart because I was actually there ! This image depicts a part of Operation Parva Coles. The UNSR's Air Marshall, Comrade Katya Petrovna Zamolodchikova, was engaged in a battle with her Inquistan counterpart, Harriet Copala, over the skies of East Moreland while Inquista was carpet bombing the region. The Inquistan pig-dogs were shot down without remorse by the brave pilots of the Nicoleizian Red Airforce. Both Air Marshalls were shot down and landed near an Inquistan Orthodox Church in the middle of nowhere. Katya, the bravest pilot in all of Europe, fought literally fist to fist with Copala for the Communist rebels in East Moreland.
Then, Paloma Faith landed in the Ministry of Eurovoice's bejazzled pink helicopter and the Ministry of Eurovoice fighters managed to knock me and Katya out, along also the Inquistans and Copala. Katya, myself, others and of course Harriet Copala were kidnapped by Paloma Faith who kept us captive in a bunker in Icholasen and made us perform in games in order to survive. Luckily, the Red Army soon busted us all out - including Harriet Copala and the Inquistans due to an agreement between Chairman Jirluchuz and Paul Craticus (God Rest His Soul). An action that was far too kind and naive in retrospect. This is because now Inquista has backstabbed the UNSR and is no longer our trusted ally - the reign of terror of Mikaela Kligenberg has begun.
The Battle of East Moreland was a defining moment in the UNSR's History, as we fought the Inquistan Pig Dogs for the protection of our comrades in Reitzmag and really delivered a blow to evil capitalist reactionary, Harriet Copala. We'll get you next time, Copala!
Thanks for coming to my presentation, next week we're discussing Inquistan Surrealism.
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Comrade Bernie Sanders, Korojaunu and Minister of Foreign Affairs made the following statement.
'We thank the Council of the Realm of Great Ruthund for recognising the Union of Nicoleizian Socialist Republics as the legitimate government of the island of Icholasen. We hope that our trade can start and we can have a fruitful trading relationship. Any products from Icholasen, oil, gas, rare earth metals, arms of all kinds will be available for trade. As well as anything else. We once again thank our comrades over there, and we hope the Imperialist European Union will not interfere in your affairs as they have interfered in the affairs of so many others.
Sayonara !'
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Bernie Sanders statement on Reitzmic withdrawal of recognition of the UNSR
"Despite the fact that we have stuck to our treaty terms, Reitzmag has not and they have withdrawn recognition of the UNSR, the de facto and rightful government of the island of Icholasen. They have also blatantly attacked the interests of the UNSR by giving land to the illegitimate Nicoleizian regime, and recognised them as the legitimate government. Therefore we ask either for the money back or we will destroy a Reitzmic military or spatial object either in the KoR, the USV or in up in Space.
This is a regrettable decision, but has to be taken. We cannot allow the fascist so-called government of Icholasen to take territory and to re-establish its fascist tentacles around Europe. This is the UNSR's stand against fascism and monarchism, and we call all nations to join us."
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Bernie Sanders’ Statement on the recent launches from Icholasen‘The UNSR has decided that due to Reitzmic inaction on paying us back, we will be launching two warning shots. One at the Reitzmic space station and one into the Caspian. This is in order to demonstrate our power to inflict incredible damage on Reitzmag if they don’t either recognise the UNSR or give us back the money we so generously gave them to settle the debt of the ship. Which, might I add, is the only damage the UNSR has ever inflicted on any other third nation, and was done during our glorious battle with the Inquistan air force which we waged to defend our communist siblings on the ground in East Moreland, but also the Reitzmic civilians down there. Many of which were saved due to the selflessness of the UNSR.
Despite this power we possess and are about to demonstrate the ease of its potential use, we will never use nuclear weapons unless our home island is threatened. Our nuclear weapons are a deterrent to warfare, suffering and the human cost of war and we hope that Reitzmag and the world sees them as such.’
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Bernie Sanders' Statement
"The UNSR stands by its recent launches and would like to remind the international community that it was Reitzmag's surprise launches that set a precedent for the UNSR's actions yesterday. Those launches were not announced to the UNSR - or anyone - and so we, or anyone else, may have thought they were missiles aimed at our nation or at our assets.
But, onto what this statement is about. We have seen encouraging talk in the European Council, and we would also like to commend Carita Falk for taking down that snobbish parasite, Poppy Carlton-Romanov. Get her, Carita. We would like to see this crisis resolved with the money paid back and a swift return to peace, and growing trust between the EU and the UNSR.
Nauriknayau kommunismau, glory to communism."
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Bernie Sanders' Statement on Recent Developments
"We have graciously accepted the offer of the Reitzmic government for the restitution of the money. We are upset that we have not been recognised by their government, but que sera sera as they say in Spain.
We wish the people of Reitzmag well and would like to foster positive relations after this unfortunate confrontation.
Nauriknayau kommunismau, glory to communism."
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Statement from Bernie Sanders, Korojaunu and Foreign Minister of the U.N.S.R.
"Despite the failure of the second repeal motion, we are pleased that the European Union has not chosen to totally embargo the U.N.S.R. The only result of that would be suffering on all parts. We know the European Union's capitalist oligarchs need ours and Czech Slavia's rare earth metals. We know boo. We know. But we also appreciate the fact that the European Union chose not to engage in economic imperialism, of which the only victims would be innocent civilians. To deprive people of food and medicine due to the political orientation of their government is surely against the European Union's supposed liberal and egalitarian dogma. Despite this, it was proposed. Which of course indicates a total moral bankruptcy amongst some in the European Council and the European Commission.
On an unrelated note, Nicoleizian wine bottles from Chalons are now BOGOF (buy one get one free)!"
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Korojaunu and Foreign Minister of the UNSR, Bernie Sanders' statement on the Ruthund Recognition
We are very pleased to have been recognised by Great Ruthund. We hope for peaceful relations in the future, and for trade of all kinds to increase.
We are open to all kinds of dialogue with the country, and for any and all communications channels to be opened. We will also open our borders to your citizens and vice versa for tourism and immigration.
All we can say is thank you.
Nauriknayau kommunismau, glory to communism.
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Bernie Sanders on Fremet's Accession into the ENAA
The government of Fremet has made a move which I am not at all surprised about. Fremet has chosen the policy of fire and destruction, while we in the UNSR have chosen the path of self-defense and peace. That is our dogma - we just want to be left alone. But, the capitalists want us to return to globalism, wage theft (with wages both being stolen by bosses and landlords), a return to an unjust economic system. Fremet is uncomfortable with our people's revolution, and wants to rain down atom bombs in order to stop us taking power from landlords, bosses, and royals. I hope that they know that we will defend our island, whatever that costs us. We will barricade our coasts, towns, and skies in order to defend our way of life. I will do whatever it takes to avoid war -- nuclear war -- to protect our island and to protect communism.
Comrades, we are under siege in every sense of the word. There was a narrowly defeated Council bill that aimed to starve us into submission. But, luckily, the Council was sensible enough to know that we Nicoleizians do not forget who has mistreated us. They could invade the physical space, but not the soul of our socialist nation. We will never surrender to capitalism willingly. Icholasen, our cherished Union of Socialist Nicoleizian Republics will never die. They tried to kill it for 30 years after 1990, but, it rose again like a phoenix out of the ashes of neoliberalism and capitalism. The people had had enough of that system. Our nation, and socialism, are growing more beautiful with time.
Comrades, it may be difficult. But I hope that you are appreciating the benefits as our society moves more towards communism. I hope you are enjoying the newfound democracy in your workplaces - why would democracy end when you clock into work? for example. I hope you are enjoying the limitation of landlords' influence over our society and our money. Why should a profit be made out of housing? I hope that you and your collective apartment or home unions are either pocketing more money than before, or investing that money in essential repairs to your buildings. Fremet and others want this new world destroyed -- but will we let them? No, comrades, we will not.
Nuclear war is the worst thing that could happen to our world - and the Fremetian government willingly made a choice to make that possibility more likely. We would give up our nuclear weapons had we the choice -- if there were not flotillas sailing recklessly close to our nation; if Inquista were not aggressive to nations like Reitzmag which forces us to come to their aid; if the European Union was not hostile to the notion of self governance -- then, then we could give up nuclear weapons. That is the clear difference between my administration and that of Erna Solberg's. Comrades, we can be proud of our government. Every day I thank my lucky stars I do live under the large shadow of Ms. Solberg.
Nauriknayau kommunismau, glory to communism. Stay safe Comrades.
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Statement on the Amendment to the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen
This is a most disappointing piece of legislation. However, it is totally unenforceable. Just like the nuke clause is. What are you going to do ? Track every boat in the EU ? And then take a state to the ECoJ even if it didn't specifically allow the ship to dock ? I remind the Council that Icholasen is one of the only places in the EU rich in RE metals. I notice that not many nations have stopped using our RE metals - bar Fremet and other countries that embargo us or countries we have placed an embargo on (ie Reitzmag). I would urge a reconsideration if you want smartphones/computers/electronics to remain affordable. I know how much you decadent capitalists love flappy bird.
Nauriknayau kommunismau, glory to communism.
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Statement on the Military Parade in Czech Slavia
The Nicoleizian Ministry of Foreign Affairs is proud and relieved that the military parade in Prague is to be held after all. This parade will strengthen the relationship we hold with Czech Slavia that is solidified in Socialism. It will also be an opportunity for the world to look on at the strength of the workers of Europe and the power that they collectively hold.
Together, comrades, we are strong. No reactionaries can get between us and the world revolution.
Nauriknayau kommunismau, glory to communism.
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Statement on the Copala City situation
We congratulate Reitzmag for telling the false government of Icholasen to stop squatting in their territory, and ending the imperial project that is Copala City. We offer any assistance in this difficult time for a maligned nation - we see a lot of ourselves in Reitzmag and wish it the best.
We hope Reitzmic politicians will support us in supporting them, and hopefully their votes in Europolis will release us both from the shackles of sanctions.
Nauriknayau kommunismau, Bernie Sanders.
