SDV: Hello, welcome back from Carole Baskin's concession speech. Shockin stuff. I have with with me Bishop Lallana of Inquista and Megan Jirluchuz. Bishop Lallana what do you think of Baskin's concession? Is it too soon?
Karinn Lallana: I don't think it's too soon. I think Comrade Baskin has seen the writing on the wall. It seems like tonight is turning out to be a big win for Big Oil, and a missed opportunity to bring green innovation to Icholasen's manufacturing and heavy industry sectors.
Megan Jirluchuz: I, personally, actually know a lot of people in so-called 'big-oil' -- I would actually call a lot of them my dear friends -- and they would really resent you demonising them. Look. You neoliberals turn people away by demonising ordinary people - it's really disgusting and honestly actually intellectually dishonest.
KL: Excuse me, I am not a neoliberal. You know you've struck a chord with a reactionary when they start calling you a neoliberal. You have no defense against what I said, besides to call me a neoliberal, which makes you guilty. I'm a liberation theologist, who has studied the bible thoroughly and came the sensible conclusion that Jesus was a social anarcho-syndicalist, not a neoliberal. You, on the other hand, are some champagne socialist who has never worked a day in her life and you leech off your dying father's name like you're some pretend bourgeoisie dynasty, except you know you never could be. You think you're the Nicoleizian Kligenberg family, but sorry sweetie, you aren't.
MJ: You know my father is the greatest man I know -- and I don't think anyone in Icholasen disagrees with me on this. You know he is literally the man who freed us from capitalism, and you're trying to undo that. My father is the greatest Nicoleizian I know, and you know what? I find that an affront to me and my family. I think the real person who is losing is you because you feel the need to come for me and my family and I am very offended by that. I think the real problem here is that you and your ilk just hate the working people of Icholasen. They are people whose industries are at risk of eco-fascists like yourself, who would struggle to pay the bills under your so-called green revolution -- and, you know, I actually have a lot of friends who tell me that that would ruin them. And champagne socialist? Oh pulease.
KL: There is no doubt your father is a great man and great revolutionary. He may have won the revolution, but can the TANKIES win lasting liberation for the people? Virtually nobody on this entire planet recognizes your father as the leader of Icholasen, and they want nothing to do with him or this country. The TANKIES are not looking to establish a communist state that can thrive and co-exist peacefully and prosperously in the long-term, they want to return Icholasen to the last communist state that flopped. Under the TANKIES, this state will flop harder than your book, Dirty Sexy Praxis. I saw the reviews on that... just terrible. Nobody wants anything to do with your family. Only under the AEN, will other countries want to engage with Icholasen.
MJ: Socialism in one country is an ideal that works. You know, my brother didn't get deployed at age 19 in the revolution, and Stephanie DeVey's brother, too, were not deployed so that Icholasen can 'peacefully coexist' with people who want our system to fundamentally change. And you know my father's record - I know not everything is about my father - is that Icholasen has asserted itself for the first time, like, ever, against forces that want to destroy us. You know this show is a lot like the whole of Europe - capitalists screaming at you just for believing it communism. It's ridiculous. All communists aren't evil. I think that you shouldn't focus on my book, or your book - the Bible - you should focus on Marx's book, the most important book that there is.
KL: How can the communist state of Icholasen survive in the long term without peaceful coexistence? It's either that or an eventual conflict. If there's going to be conflict, then there's going to be a war, and I hear those Fremetians are buildings rockets. The next thing we know, this country will be flattened to the ground. Best case scenario, Icholasen launches nuclear weapons first and the entirety of Europe is wrecked in a nuclear conflict. It goes without saying, this isn't a good outcome. Nor are the economic ramifications. You're a shill for Big Oil, but who do you hope to export it to? Czech Slavia? Eastern Haane? You have two options, and both those countries are poor basket cases who trade with the rest of Europe anyway. Icholasen will become politically, diplomatically, economically and strategically isolated. That can last for a short while, but not forever. Free Icholasen will build support in Europe during this process. It is only through engaging with Europe, that the bourgeoisie Nicoleizians can be defeated. Icholasen can fully co-exist with Europe and remain unwavering in its values of communism and Marxism. Marx, who, by the way, was a prophet of God sent to correct mankind's exploitation and greed. The Bible was the first true red book, not that I expect you to know, because you haven't read Lester or Wynn. Do you even follows Jirluchuz Thought? It seems like you have no thoughts, judging by your arguments.
MJ: You know I think everyone in Icholasen knows that you don't cross veterans, and I think what you've said is actually very offensive to them. They fought for Icholasen's freedom to not have to engage with others. Y'know all the men in my family have served or actually are serving and I think you're being incredibly distrespectful to them, and my family and my father actually. You kno-
KL: Ok stop right there, you imperialist scum. You don't need to remind me of how deep war crimes run in your imperialist familial roots. We get it, you're related to Hariett Copala. Now, I was about make a very nuanced point about the intersection of Marx's dialectics and Jesus's dialectics, before you very rudely interrupted me. Will you let me speak?
MJ: Well will you let me finish?
KL: Well will you let me speak?
MJ: Well will you let me finish?
KL: Well will you let me speak?
MJ: Well, okay, actually can I just ask you a question?
KL: Ask me what? Are there dairy cows in Icholasen? Only one, and she's looking at me.
MJ: Well I'm looking at a Bible thumping reactionary.
KL: The only thing I'm reactionary about is your lipstick, which doesn't suit you. Actually, I'm revisionist - it would look good on anybody but you.
MJ: To be honest I can't even tell what you're thinking because you have enough botox in your face to lift your tit to your eyelid.
KL: Watch your tone. I'm warning you, watch your tone. I can't believe you're personally attacking me even though I have been nothing but polite to you. I have been so civil, but you can't help yourself but go for the low punches. That's fine, I'm the only principled one here and it shows. Is this how you speak to your father, you little brat?
MJ: Are you really bringing MY father into this? You know this is why Nicoleizians haven't voted the AÉN to power here. Because snobby globalist reactionary neoliberal shills like you like to take aim at national treasures like me. Go back to your microstate with your micromind. And that isn't racist because my nail technician got crabs from an Inquistan.
KL: Take that back. You TANKIES can't help yourselves, you're all racist. Name one race you don't think is a simpleton who can't understand council communism. I know I'm not racist because I could name at least three. You?
MJ: Well do you think all TANKIES are racist? Do you think all TANKIES are racist?! This is the reason that so many Nicoleizians didn't vote for the AÉN because we're accused of racism, or LGBTLMNOPQRSTUV-phobia just for saying that Marx emphasised economic exploitation. And you know Marx was right, it is the biggest form of discrimination. And you know what? Jesus hated the gays that love you so much. Matthew 5:17 and 18. Jesus said he hadn't come to abolish the laws of the prophets. That means, sweetie, that he supports stoning gay people. Now who's homophobic? Fucking botox bitch.
KL: God loves everybody equally, ok? If you've seen depictions of God in books or movies, you'd also know he has a great big beard, alright? I'm not saying God is Marx, but they're awfully close. I won't take any more of this sacrilege and your racist, homophobic, white and heteronormative tone. I've been treated so unfairly here. Megan is treating me so badly, Stephanie. Is this is how TANKIES think it is acceptable to treat other comrades? This is shameful. I won't have any more of this.
(Bishop Lallana takes her mic off her chest and throws it on the table, slams her hands on the table, and then abruptly gets up to leave)
KL: So much for the tolerant left. I have never felt so unwelcome in my life. Is this future of Icholasen? Disgusting.
(She storms off the set)
MJ: Well so much for the tolerant lib-left.