SDV: Hello, welcome back from Carole Baskin's concession speech. Shockin stuff. I have with with me Bishop Lallana of Inquista and Megan Jirluchuz. Bishop Lallana what do you think of Baskin's concession? Is it too soon?
Karinn Lallana: I don't think it's too soon. I think Comrade Baskin has seen the writing on the wall. It seems like tonight is turning out to be a big win for Big Oil, and a missed opportunity to bring green innovation to Icholasen's manufacturing and heavy industry sectors.
Megan Jirluchuz: I, personally, actually know a lot of people in so-called 'big-oil' -- I would actually call a lot of them my dear friends -- and they would really resent you demonising them. Look. You neoliberals turn people away by demonising ordinary people - it's really disgusting and honestly actually intellectually dishonest.
KL: Excuse me, I am not a neoliberal. You know you've struck a chord with a reactionary when they start calling you a neoliberal. You have no defense against what I said, besides to call me a neoliberal, which makes you guilty. I'm a liberation theologist, who has studied the bible thoroughly and came the sensible conclusion that Jesus was a social anarcho-syndicalist, not a neoliberal. You, on the other hand, are some champagne socialist who has never worked a day in her life and you leech off your dying father's name like you're some pretend bourgeoisie dynasty, except you know you never could be. You think you're the Nicoleizian Kligenberg family, but sorry sweetie, you aren't.
MJ: You know my father is the greatest man I know -- and I don't think anyone in Icholasen disagrees with me on this. You know he is literally the man who freed us from capitalism, and you're trying to undo that. My father is the greatest Nicoleizian I know, and you know what? I find that an affront to me and my family. I think the real person who is losing is you because you feel the need to come for me and my family and I am very offended by that. I think the real problem here is that you and your ilk just hate the working people of Icholasen. They are people whose industries are at risk of eco-fascists like yourself, who would struggle to pay the bills under your so-called green revolution -- and, you know, I actually have a lot of friends who tell me that that would ruin them. And champagne socialist? Oh pulease.
KL: There is no doubt your father is a great man and great revolutionary. He may have won the revolution, but can the TANKIES win lasting liberation for the people? Virtually nobody on this entire planet recognizes your father as the leader of Icholasen, and they want nothing to do with him or this country. The TANKIES are not looking to establish a communist state that can thrive and co-exist peacefully and prosperously in the long-term, they want to return Icholasen to the last communist state that flopped. Under the TANKIES, this state will flop harder than your book, Dirty Sexy Praxis. I saw the reviews on that... just terrible. Nobody wants anything to do with your family. Only under the AEN, will other countries want to engage with Icholasen.
MJ: Socialism in one country is an ideal that works. You know, my brother didn't get deployed at age 19 in the revolution, and Stephanie DeVey's brother, too, were not deployed so that Icholasen can 'peacefully coexist' with people who want our system to fundamentally change. And you know my father's record - I know not everything is about my father - is that Icholasen has asserted itself for the first time, like, ever, against forces that want to destroy us. You know this show is a lot like the whole of Europe - capitalists screaming at you just for believing it communism. It's ridiculous. All communists aren't evil. I think that you shouldn't focus on my book, or your book - the Bible - you should focus on Marx's book, the most important book that there is.
KL: How can the communist state of Icholasen survive in the long term without peaceful coexistence? It's either that or an eventual conflict. If there's going to be conflict, then there's going to be a war, and I hear those Fremetians are buildings rockets. The next thing we know, this country will be flattened to the ground. Best case scenario, Icholasen launches nuclear weapons first and the entirety of Europe is wrecked in a nuclear conflict. It goes without saying, this isn't a good outcome. Nor are the economic ramifications. You're a shill for Big Oil, but who do you hope to export it to? Czech Slavia? Eastern Haane? You have two options, and both those countries are poor basket cases who trade with the rest of Europe anyway. Icholasen will become politically, diplomatically, economically and strategically isolated. That can last for a short while, but not forever. Free Icholasen will build support in Europe during this process. It is only through engaging with Europe, that the bourgeoisie Nicoleizians can be defeated. Icholasen can fully co-exist with Europe and remain unwavering in its values of communism and Marxism. Marx, who, by the way, was a prophet of God sent to correct mankind's exploitation and greed. The Bible was the first true red book, not that I expect you to know, because you haven't read Lester or Wynn. Do you even follows Jirluchuz Thought? It seems like you have no thoughts, judging by your arguments.
MJ: You know I think everyone in Icholasen knows that you don't cross veterans, and I think what you've said is actually very offensive to them. They fought for Icholasen's freedom to not have to engage with others. Y'know all the men in my family have served or actually are serving and I think you're being incredibly distrespectful to them, and my family and my father actually. You kno-
KL: Ok stop right there, you imperialist scum. You don't need to remind me of how deep war crimes run in your imperialist familial roots. We get it, you're related to Hariett Copala. Now, I was about make a very nuanced point about the intersection of Marx's dialectics and Jesus's dialectics, before you very rudely interrupted me. Will you let me speak?
MJ: Well will you let me finish?
KL: Well will you let me speak?
MJ: Well will you let me finish?
KL: Well will you let me speak?
MJ: Well, okay, actually can I just ask you a question?
KL: Ask me what? Are there dairy cows in Icholasen? Only one, and she's looking at me.
MJ: Well I'm looking at a Bible thumping reactionary.
KL: The only thing I'm reactionary about is your lipstick, which doesn't suit you. Actually, I'm revisionist - it would look good on anybody but you.
MJ: To be honest I can't even tell what you're thinking because you have enough botox in your face to lift your tit to your eyelid.
KL: Watch your tone. I'm warning you, watch your tone. I can't believe you're personally attacking me even though I have been nothing but polite to you. I have been so civil, but you can't help yourself but go for the low punches. That's fine, I'm the only principled one here and it shows. Is this how you speak to your father, you little brat?
MJ: Are you really bringing MY father into this? You know this is why Nicoleizians haven't voted the AÉN to power here. Because snobby globalist reactionary neoliberal shills like you like to take aim at national treasures like me. Go back to your microstate with your micromind. And that isn't racist because my nail technician got crabs from an Inquistan.
KL: Take that back. You TANKIES can't help yourselves, you're all racist. Name one race you don't think is a simpleton who can't understand council communism. I know I'm not racist because I could name at least three. You?
MJ: Well do you think all TANKIES are racist? Do you think all TANKIES are racist?! This is the reason that so many Nicoleizians didn't vote for the AÉN because we're accused of racism, or LGBTLMNOPQRSTUV-phobia just for saying that Marx emphasised economic exploitation. And you know Marx was right, it is the biggest form of discrimination. And you know what? Jesus hated the gays that love you so much. Matthew 5:17 and 18. Jesus said he hadn't come to abolish the laws of the prophets. That means, sweetie, that he supports stoning gay people. Now who's homophobic? Fucking botox bitch.
KL: God loves everybody equally, ok? If you've seen depictions of God in books or movies, you'd also know he has a great big beard, alright? I'm not saying God is Marx, but they're awfully close. I won't take any more of this sacrilege and your racist, homophobic, white and heteronormative tone. I've been treated so unfairly here. Megan is treating me so badly, Stephanie. Is this is how TANKIES think it is acceptable to treat other comrades? This is shameful. I won't have any more of this.
(Bishop Lallana takes her mic off her chest and throws it on the table, slams her hands on the table, and then abruptly gets up to leave)
KL: So much for the tolerant left. I have never felt so unwelcome in my life. Is this future of Icholasen? Disgusting.
(She storms off the set)
MJ: Well so much for the tolerant lib-left.
SDV: The gap is tightening, but does this mean that Carole Baskin's cessation was too soon, or that she saw the the end before anyone else? We are talking to Harriet LeRauk.
HLR: Hi Stephanie.
SDV: What do you make of the education services figure - weren't you expecting that to be a lot closer?
HLR: Yes we were. We're sure that we will recover the lost ground there, but it certainly isn't ideal. It isn't a huge number of seats though.
SDV: Is that a hint of worrying I see?
HLR: No. I just think caution is necessary. These were rather small constituencies anyway.
SDV: Thanks Harriet. Always a pleasure. We have on now Misty Foxx.
MF: Hey Stephanie.
SDV: Hi Misty. What do you make of these latest results?
MF: I think they are very encouraging. We are shocked that we beat the TANKIES in education services by such a large percentage - 20% is really an achievement in that sector.
SDV: Do you think that the election is turning out in your favour?
MF: Absolutely. I think and hope that we will see AÉN control of all branches of government.
SDV: Thanks Misty!
MF: Peace out.
(Misty throws a peace sign and blows a kiss)
SDV: Health and social care was very very close, which highlights another piece of bad news for the TANKIES. They hoped that their policy of increasing funding more than the AÉN would win over most hospital workers, and it certainly worked for some, but not for others. The size of this constituency of workers means that the smallest changes can mean a seat is stole from the other side. If the AÉN had gotten a vote share of 0.6% higher, they would've clinched another seat. And same for the TANKIES but just 0.8%. This is much closer than they were hoping, our forecast predicted they'd get 55% of the vote in health and social care, and they haven't.
Leisure and hospitality is another area where the TANKIES were expected to win for their support for terrasses chauffées, but that didn't necessarily translate into votes. This is also at odds with our projection. We believed that the issue of terrasses chauffées would come up a lot more, with 60% of restaurant workers believing that it is a fundamental part of how their business operates. However, a lot of people must've believed the AÉN's other policies outweighed this factor.
With me is political analyst George Foucault.
George Foucault: Thanks for having me.
SDV: What do you think these results mean for the TANKIES?
GF: It's terrible news for them, Stephanie. They were expecting to win in both of these sectors of the economy - and these are big constituencies with big consequences for screwing up. And they screwed up. This puts my prediction for the Auswirr down to the wire. It will be incredibly close and it won't be until we get the very last results that this election will be decided.
SDV: What do you think the impact of the TANKIES' failure to gain ground in health will do?
GF: It will either cost them the election or strength in controlling the chamber. Without the hearty majority that we projected before, it will be difficult to out-vote rebellious factions within the party. Though this also extends to the AÉN. If they do win, they will be at the mercy of their factions -- which are much more disruptive than those of the TANKIES. I think we can definitely see dairy prohibition come back to Icholasen very very soon as both the TANKIES and the anarcho-primitivists are in favour of scaling back dairy consumption.
SDV: And what about the role of Speaker of the Auswirr - a very prized position.
GF: I think that the anarcho-primitivists won't vote in a TANKIE Speaker of the Auswirr, but the second highest position is the leader of the party in the Auswirr which could fall to the anarcho-primitivists, rather than the establishment AÉN that Baskin leads. This could lead to feuds about any number of things, and a confused system of whipping.
SDV: Thanks for that Monsieur Foucault.
SDV: Opposite extremes here for these last two constituencies and a difference of 3 seats so far. Incredible stuff. With me is the newly elected Députée for Other Services, Rebecca Bareham.
RB: Hi Stephanie. You're looking ravishing tonight.
SDV: Oh, well thank you. What do you make of these most recent results.
RB: Ooh it's a tight one, isn't it? 3 seats in it - wow. I don't even know what will happen. I can just hope that us TANKIES pull through.
SDV: And do you think that you will?
RB: I have no idea. I'm not really a politician. But I think that's the beauty of our system, y'know. An... actress... like myself can come to power to represent my comrades in my filming cooperative. Us girls at Bareham Studios control the means of production -- the cameras, the black leather couches, the fake taxis - all of it. In Czech Slavia, at our sister studio Czech Hunters, the Czechs that are hunted also control their means of production. Isn't that just great?
SDV: Certainly. Why, then, do you think that people in other services voted so heavily for the AÉN.
RB: I think that the AÉN offers people more perceived freedom, but I for one think punishment is important in society. Both on camera and off.
(Rebecca cracks her whip)
SDV: And so we have our last results. This has pushed the AÉN to having a majority of 20 seats. But, what do these last results tell us? Are they a surprise. We have Georges Foucault here in the studio with us.
GF: Hi Steph.
SDV: Hi George. Are these last results at all surprising?
GF: Absolutely, we did not think that the devolved and local government workers would support the AÉN in these numbers, they have so much to gain from a bigger government, but I suppose that other factors influenced their decisions. This is the biggest constituency and so any fluctuations big or small have a massive impact on the result of the election.
SDV: Interesting. What about agriculture?
GF: This one was not a surprise, the AÉN oppose collectivisation and as such agricultural workers supported them en masse. Some clearly agreed with the TANKIES' policy on agriculture, though.
SDV: Carole Baskin has said she will make a victory speech in the morning, but has thanked her staff and her faction for their efforts.
SDV: And here is the new Assembly of Workers or Auswirr. With a majority of 20, can Carole Baskin as speaker hope to push through all of her legislative agenda?
GF: Probably not. It depends what kind of legislation she wants to do. I think that she will be able to push through anything that has a broad support among the AÉN, but anything else will fail and will not pass the Auswirr.
SDV: Thanks George. And so, that concludes this, the first of 4 elections that will be taking place this week. What a week it will be.
SDV: Hello and welcome to the Assembly of Nationalities Election. 40 Seats of the Assembly of Nationalities are up for grabs tonight. This is a new election so there are no holds or gains - yet. The election counts will come out from the central authority of the Republic. Whichever republic counts first will release first. The most high profile candidates for this body are probably Cécile Laucre and Jane Birkin, who both represent seats in Romain - the southernmost country in Icholasen. They will hopefully give us their thoughts about the election as the night goes on, along with others. The first person we have with us is Amanda Hildern who is the candidate for the region of Frumussuau which is on the coast with Fremet. What do you think Nicoleizians made of the rocket launch on Tuesday?
Amanda Hildern: I think that that definitely had a huge impact. Only a few kilometres away is a hostile state that launches rockets into the air for no reason. It's madness. People in Frumussuau know that we're in the literal front line if Fremet starts shit. We know that, and we also know that the AÉN do not care, they want our arms budget decimated. While it would be lovely to have peace and love with Fremet, we can only have retaliatory strength.
SDV: We also have with us Barbra Midlar who is hoping to win a seat in Selerloau which is a suburban region near Cesae Vauvra.
Barbra Midlar: Thanks for having me on the show. I - obviously - completely disagree with Ms. Hildern, I think that the people want more money for schools, hospitals and other services, rather than maintaining a huge military that actually doesn't mean much as we have nukes anyway.
SDV: Well lots to discuss tonight, let's see what happens. The 4 Republics are racing to count and release their results. Which faction will come out on top?
SDV: Here are the votes for the Romain Socialist Republic. As we can see it seems to be an alright showing for the AÉN, but what do you think Ms. Hildern?
AH: I think that this is a bad result for the AÉN here - they could've picked up Romain City, but they didn't. With a chamber of only 40 members until the elections next year that's going to be a loss they can't afford to lose.
SDV: Barbra?
BM: I think that one seat lost here won't really change much. Hopefully. I mean even if we do lose this election due to the Fremetian rocket, we still have control of the Auswirr. The Ausnat might - and I emphasis that that is still up in the air - be an unfortunate loss, but one that won't prevent the AÉN from having an impact in the entire country.
SDV: We have a series of key races - let's have a look of those in much more detail.
SDV: Ms. Hildern, what do you make of this result?
AH: I do not think it is at all surprising, this is a very liberal and agricultural part of Romain and I am not at all surprised it went to Jane. I think that 60% of the vote - which I believe is what she got - is a healthy percentage and as such is not really a possible target for us, the TANKIES.
SDV: And here is the Romain City results.
SDV: Andréa Charpentier won here, just. She got 51% of the vote and Paul Berger got 49%. Mrs. Midlar, what do you think of this result?
BM: I think it really isn't what we wanted. This is honestly all Ursula Von Der Leyen's fault. If that rocket hadn't launched, then less people would feel the need to beef up our military and have a firmer stance on the capitalists. I think that their fears were confirmed, though I don't think that voting for the TANKIES would help alleviate that fear, in fact I think that they would continue provoking the capitalists, ending with war or skirmishes.
SDV: Thank you. We will be back with more analysis.
SDV: Cécile Laucre had been elected in Leuse Valley with 57% of the vote, and we're pleased to be able to join her in Carnac-sur-Leuse. Hello Cécile.
Cécile appears in front of a green-screen image of Carnac-sur-Leuse
CL: Hiya pet.
SDV: Congratulations on your election. What do you make of the results coming out of Romain?
CL: I think they're very encouraging. I wasn't sure if we would pick up Romain City, but we did we managed to. Obviously, I would've prefered more seats here, but I think that this was the most we were going to get out of Romain. Unfortunately, we don't have as strong a following here.
SDV: Do you think that Vayinaod is also an imperialistic capitalist country who is trying to take images of Icholasen from space?
CL: I think so, they are filthy capitalist imperialists and I really hate Carita Falk. Falk her. I also think that their Eurovoice entries amount to acts of war upon the whole European continent. Really really terrible entries. I wish we were in a post Post Malone era, but unfortunately we still have to suffer his musical 'stylings' to this day.
SDV: Indeed. Do you have any thoughts about the Nicoleizian space industry?
CL: Me and Sanders have been discussing reviving a pre-revolution space operation that was paused while we figured things out. We will definitely seek approval for that programme in the hopefully TANKIE controlled Ausnat.
SDV: And so here are the results from the Rujonau Socialist Republic. The TANKIES have picked up 11 seats, and the AÉN 9 seats. That means the TANKIES are on 14, and the AÉN is on 16. NBC can now project that the TANKIES will win the Ausnat. We have Jane Birkin with us in Chalons.
JB: Hi Stephanie.
SDV: Why do you think this result happened in Rujonau?
JB: I think that the border Départements really wanted to protect Icholasen against Fremetian aggression. I think that that's the bottom line. But also I think that people do want balance in government - with the AÉN's victory in the Auswirr maybe people wanted to make sure that the government is balanced - I think that that's a noble goal.
SDV: Do you think that you can claw back when the second seat from each Département is up for election?
JB: Oh absolutely. When people see what the TANKIES are like in government we will take the other Romain City seat and other close seats. It's a whole year away too, so much has the potential to change.
SDV: Thanks Jane.
JB: Thanks Stephanie.
SDV: We're going to now look at some results in depth.
SDV: Amanda Hildern has won her election in Frumussuau, the closest Département to Fremet. She only won be a few votes, winning with 51% of the vote. We have her on the phone from Aukaum.
AH: Hey Stephanie.
SDV: Hi Amanda. Congratulations. What do you think about NBC's prediction that the TANKIES will take the Ausnat?
AH: I am very pleased. We will be able to effectively challenge the AÉN's damaging dogma. We will be able to influence our foreign policy. It really is great news.
SDV: In Selerloau, Barbra Midlar was elected on a 51/49 margin, and she joins us now. How are you feeling Barbra?
BM: I'm feeling bittersweet. I am incredibly pleased to have been elected, but I know we have lost a lot of races tonight that we should have won. I think the fight goes on and we will be back in a year's time and we will win then.
SDV: And what do you think about the elections to come?
BM: I think that we have a good chance in both of them. We are doing great and we will triumph. The voters are the wind beneath my wings.
SDV: And here are the results from Nuwnociluosoaulaunk. As we can see the TANKIES did very well here, with that 61% being more or less the uniform across the entire Socialist Republic's 4 seats. The tally stands now at 18 for the TANKIES and 16 still for the AÉN.
SDV: And here are the final results from Portland/Kicrlaunk Socialist Republic. The urban conurbations of Saint Pierre and Kicrlaunk City voted for the AÉN to a lot more than the rural and industrial areas of the Socialist Republic.
Here is the final seat count for the Ausnat, with the TANKIES holding the majority of seats. This body will deliberate on all number of things, and a different party in charge in both houses of the Socialist Congress will undoubtedly cause friction and gridlock.
And here is the final map of the country. What is interesting is that it implies that there is not a north/south divide, and thus a Nicoleizian (north) and French (south) divide, but the seats in Rujonau (the middle country) are often very very close. The southern Départements were very close to being TANKIES and vice versa. The north/south political divide is incredibly strong. What will this mean for the Republic Elections on Monday? And for the positions in the politburo that represent the Republics?
SANDERS ELECTED KOROJAUNU
Bernie Sanders has been elected by the Politburo as Korojaunu of the UNSR. He received 79 votes out of 100 for the position. The Politburo is most made up by TANKIES, with 10 posts held by TANKIES after the election and 8 held by the AÉN. This means the TANKIES control the executive and the Upper House, but the AÉN controls the lower house. Sanders gave a short speech about his win and his plans for the office.
"Comrades, we are gathered here today after a glorious win. I am proud to represent Icholasen both here and abroad as Korojaunu. That is why I will stay on as Foreign Secretary after this election. I want to be a Korojaunu who is a face for Icholasen both here and abroad, and I think our foreign goals have a massive overlap with our domestic goals. I want the executive to play a constructive role in our divided government structure, and I will be working with both factions to find a solution common to us all. Of course I believe in collectivisation, but we can work to find a mutually beneficial result at the end of all this. We need to govern with the consent of the people.'
Cécile Laucre, the TANKIE leader of the Ausnat, the upper house, was incredibly happy about the development saying that 'with TANKIES controlling 2 out of 3 branches of government we should be able to get a lot done in the Socialist Congress. As leader of the Ausnat I am prepared to work with Korojaunu Sanders to make sure that the nation's interests are represented.'
Carole Baskin, the AÉN leader of the Auswirr, the lower house, also commented, 'Sanders got 80% of the vote to be Foreign Secretary and I and everyone congratulate him. He is a great unifying figure for our country, and though I disagree with him on many things, we can definitely work with him to secure an agreeable future for Icholasen.
SDV: Anne-Marie David has been elected as President of the Romain Socialist Republic. She is a moderate AÉN faction member, and is trying to unite both sides of her party within Romain. She has said she is willing to wor with Sanders on all matters, except dairy prohibition, citing camembert as her favourite spreadable cheese.
SDV: In Rujonau, the most populous of the Socialist Republics, the AÉN came out on top -- just. They only have 4 more seats than the TANKIES, meaning that any number of things can happen within this socialist republic. Élisabeth Avril has been elected as President of this Socialist Republic. She is on the anarcho-communist wing of her faction, meaning that she is under attack from her more moderate colleagues in the Rujonau Socialist Assembly.
SDV: Imelda Wuaulsh has been elected President of the Nuwnociluosoaulaunk Socialist Republic. The Assembly is dominated by TANKIES and it won't be hard for Wuaulsh to pass any legislation that she wants to. This is the traditional homeland of Socialism and Communism in Icholasen, and is the region that Chairman Jirluchuz was governor of before the Revolution. It is a sacred place for hardliners as it has been socialist controlled for decades.
SDV: Laulw Forin has been elected as the President of the Kicrlaunk Socialist Republic, with her faction holding 55 out of 100 possible seats. Forin is best known for her unsuccessful attempt to become a European Councillor for the UNSR, being kicked from the Council by Speaker Firoux. She is a hardline TANKIE who will push forward her agenda of keeping Kicrlaunk industrialised, and has pledged to expand the exploitation of Rare Earth metals.
And so this is the last election, and the end of the 2020 UNSR elections. Tune in next year where the second half of the Ausnat will be elected and for other elections along the way. This has been Stephanie DeVey, peace out!
SDV: And here are the results from Nuwnociluosoaulaunk. As we can see the TANKIES did very well here, with that 61% being more or less the uniform across the entire Socialist Republic's 4 seats. The tally stands now at 18 for the TANKIES and 16 still for the AÉN.
