THE BONDZHINOV REPORT
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6th November 2020
RESHUFFLE SEES TRYMPOV, SHAKUR SWAP ROLES
Newly-appointed Deputy Prime Minister Tupac ShakurThe League Against Corruption, junior partner in the governing coalition, have reshuffled their governmental roles, in a move reflecting Dragan Trympov's increasing focus on pan-European politics.
Mr Trympov, who remains the party's leader, will become European Councillor for Pravoslaviya, having been appointed to the role by Prime Minister Metodi Pravoslav earlier today. This move is believed to be intended to furnish Mr Trympov with a permanent platform in Europolis, with which he can continue building the Make Europe Great Again movement, which Mr Pravoslav believes is vital to protecting the nation's interests against diktats from the Council's liberal majority.
Tupac Shakur, who has served as Councillor for the majority of Pravoslaviya's time as an EU member state, has been recalled to Belogradchik, where he will take over Mr Trympov's role as Deputy Prime Minister, and take over the additional portfolio of Defence Minister. A series of recent military conflicts in Pravoslaviya's near abroad is believed to have convinced Mr Pravoslav of the need for a high-profile figure in the defence portfolio, even if this meant giving the position to someone outside his own National Movement for Purity, and Mr Shakur is generally regarded within the government as having impressed during his time in Europolis.
In an impromptu presser given upon his arrival back from Europolis, Mr Shakur wished Mr Trympov well in his new role, argued that the reshuffle wasn't a promotion or a demotion for either him or Mr Trympov, and said that his main priorities would be to "root out corruption in the military, in defence procurement, and across the government. We all know the Vulovich Bratstvo, which was founded by Apostol Tsrvenovski, is involved in our military. We've been in government for years now and I see no changes; it's just give them guns, step back, watch them kill each other. It's time to fight back."
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6th December 2020
TUPAC ISSUES STATEMENT ON REITZMAG LAND GRAB
Defence Minister Tupac ShakurIn response to Reitzmag's ongoing attempt to seize territory in the middle of the Caspian Sea by building artificial islands there, the Defence Minister, Tupac Shakur, has issued the following statement:
The Caspian Sea is the common heritage of all the nations around it. We share its great wealth – oil, fish, caviar – and we share in its beauty. It is a highway between our nations, and thanks to the canal, a gateway to faraway lands. We all have a duty to maintain the Caspian's wealth and beauty for our children, and no one nation has the right to turn the sea into its private domain.
Therefore, Pravoslaviya condemns in the strongest possible terms the Government of Reitzmag's decision to construct artificial islands in the middle of the Caspian Sea, and dredge the sea in that area. While, as a matter of courtesy, we respect the interests of other Caspian nations in the waters nearest their shores, as we would expect them to extend the same courtesy to us, the Reitzmic government is acting well beyond what can reasonably be described as its waters. It has no right to do this, and no right to expect us not to intervene.
We do not believe the excuse from the Reitzmic government that these islands are intended primarily as a rescue or maintenance station for shipping. This is, in our view, completely unnecessary. We maintain an extensive coastguard operation and expect that other Caspian nations do the same. Reitzmag did not consult with us or, as far as we are aware, other Caspian nations before proceeding with this scheme. As far as Pravoslaviya is concerned, these artificial islands are intended as a land grab and a power projection move on the part of Reitzmag, with the goal of dominating the Caspian area, which we will bitterly oppose. We note with alarm the Reitzmic government's admission that these islands and their surrounding waters will be 'regulated', and that their motives for creating these islands include 'security, economic, and defense purposes'. The fact that Reitzmag has described part of its scheme as 'classified', and refuses to release this information to other Caspian nations, only serves to confirm our suspicions.
Pravoslaviya has always sought to exploit the resources of the Caspian in a sustainable way that affects other Caspian states as little as possible. As home to the sea's largest fish and oil reserves, this is important to us. We are, therefore, extremely concerned that Reitzmag's reckless sea dredging activity and artificial island construction in the centre of the sea has the makings of an ecological catastrophe that could adversely affect all our nations, both economically and environmentally. The Reitzmic government's failure to consult with its neighbours on this matter is nothing short of an insult. We find the Reitzmic government's assertion that it found 'no fish' in its area of activity laughable. While fish stocks do concentrate in some areas, fish do still move around seas in complex patterns that it would be extremely unwise to disrupt. Reitzmag's pledge to allow anyone visiting the islands to fish in the Caspian is both inconsistent with its claim to have found 'no fish' in the area, and deeply irresponsible from a perspective of sustainable fishing.
Reitzmag has repeatedly proven itself a bad faith actor on the European stage in recent months. We are extremely disappointed that this behaviour has spread to our shared patrimony, our Caspian. Pravoslaviya is a nation of patriots who, with the help of God, and with no regard to the claims to moral superiority of foreign governments, have sacrificed themselves so that our nation might endure and prosper. This force of will is what attracted me to this nation when I faked my own death in 1996, and as Defence Minister, I will work tirelessly to sustain that national spirit.
Let me be clear that Pravoslaviya does not, and will never, recognise Reitzmag's sovereignty over any of the islands it builds in the Caspian, nor the waters around them. These islands should not exist. Reitzmag must stop building them, and act at once to restore the area to its previous condition, before any more damage is done. In the long term, we believe an agreement must be reached to prevent this kind of activity ever taking place again. Pravoslaviya is consulting with the United Duchies, and will be reaching out to other Caspian nations, to discuss action that we can take to encourage Reitzmag to rejoin the family of responsible stewards of the Caspian Sea. We rule nothing out.
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10th February 2021
PRAVOSLAV CALLS COUNCIL ELECTION FOR 11TH MARCH
Prime Minister Metodi PravoslavThe Government has succumbed to the controversial Elected and Accountable Council Act, and called a by-election for the vacant European Council seat to be held in four weeks' time.
The Act, sponsored by controversial outgoing Inquistan globalist Edward Firoux, compels member states to hold separate elections for their European Councillor, even if the winner is opposed to the government of the country they're representing. It has not gone unremarked that Mr Firoux was himself an opposition leader for much of his time as Inquista's councillor.
The Government has previously maintained that the Act is unconstitutional, and last year appointed Dragan Trympov to the councillor role, in a job-swap with Tupac Shakur. However, Mr Trympov was expelled from the Council and his votes ignored by the Council Speaker, Mr Firoux. Mr Trympov's appeal to the European Court of Justice was unanimously dismissed out of hand by Europolis judges, leaving the Government with few options.
Tupac has ruled himself out of contention, preferring to focus on his ministerial brief, leaving the field open for overwhelming favourite Mr Trympov. The Make Europe Great Again leader is expected to declare his candidacy over the weekend, and will almost certainly gain the Government's endorsement. Nominations close on Thursday 18th February.
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20th February 2021
TRYMPOV PLEDGES TO FIGHT PAEDOPHILES
Council candidate Dragan TrympovCouncil election frontrunner Dragan Trympov has announced that, if elected, he will focus on taking down paedophiles in the European elite.
In a new campaign video, Mr Trympov declared himself "the only anti-paedophile candidate, and really, if I'm elected, the only Councillor who is anti-paedophile," and said that if elected he would "identify and bring to justice the paedophiles at the heart of the Europolis elite."
"They're really bad, Satanic people, and frankly, what these people do is disgusting," said Mr Trympov, who praised activists who have raised awareness of elite paedophile rings across Europe. "They're trying to save our region, they don't like what's happening to our region, happening to the kids, and I don't like it either," he added. "So many of the globalists are paedophiles, you wouldn't believe".
The Make Europe Great Again founder also commented on his experiences as a father and as a senior businessman and politician. "My daughter Ivanka, who's running to be my deputy, she's a very beautiful woman, OK, and she was a very beautiful little girl. And I was worried, always worried, that because she was so beautiful, these paedophiles would try to do things on her. And that's so wrong. And folks, I'm a businessman, I've been in politics, I've known these people, I've probably had some in my house. We've been playing the long game, and it's time to use the Council to take these dogs down."
Mr Trympov leads polling with around 65% of the vote, ahead of social democrat Kyril Borisov on 18%, Pomak candidate Muhammat Akhmetich on 11%, and communist Simeon Yav on 6%. Elections will be held on March 11th.
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8th March 2021BORDER WITH REITZMAG CLOSED
Local MP Vladislav Palich inspects the border with ReitzmagSanctions against the Kingdom of Reitzmag have come into force today, after the country failed to respond to the Government's request to sign up to a solution to the Caspian Sea islands dispute.
Talks about the artificial islands, built unilaterally in the middle of the Caspian Sea by the Reitzmic government at great environmental cost, and which were intended to host a military base and other facilities, broke down recently as Internal Affairs Commissioner Jean-Claude Juncker's term drew to a close. Mr Juncker had been attempting to broker an agreement on the islands' fate.
Last week, following continued non-engagement on the issue from Reitzmag's government, which has pushed globalist policies to the point of leasing away part of its own territory to an autonomous city for migrants, the Government issued an ultimatum for the issue to be resolved to its satisfaction by last night, issuing a proposed agreement based on various drafts that had been approved by all parties except Reitzmag during the previous round of talks. The Prime Minister, Metodi Pravoslav, confirmed this morning that no engagement whatsoever had come from the Reitzmic authorities, and therefore sanctions would be imposed.
The sanctions include the complete closure of Pravoslaviya's land, sea, and air borders with Reitzmag, except for bilateral trade between the two countries, which has been subject to a doubling of tariffs across the board. Reitzmic trade and travel that normally goes through Pravoslaviya will need to find a more circuitous route. No new visa applications from Reitzmic citizens will be accepted, the Pravoslaviyan assets of all Reitzmic government ministers, senior military officers, and senior officials have been frozen, and diplomatic relations reduced to the lowest practicable level.
It is hoped that the new sanctions, which have been timed to coincide with ones implemented by the United Duchies and North Diessen, will cause enough inconvenience to Reitzmag's economy to force its leader, Simon Bridges, back to the negotiating table, where it is hoped he will actually speak constructively this time. The Prime Minister told the National Assembly this morning that he was 'confident' that the sanctions would succeed, and that therefore 'minimal' damage would be done to Pravoslaviya's economy.
When questioned about the economic effect of sanctioning a larger neighbour, Mr Pravoslav exhorted politicians to 'be patriotic', and 'trust our strength in numbers'. "We, North Diessen, and the United Duchies are in this together as civilised nations," he continued, "and we together are stronger than Reitzmag. That is the simple arithmetic. That is why these sanctions will hit them hardest, and make them sign a sensible agreement to destroy the islands peacefully and in a way that is environmentally friendly."
Nonetheless, due to Mr Bridges' reputation for stonewalling on this issue, questions have arisen about what will happen if Reitzmag does not cave to the sanctions. The United Duchies plan to escalate sanctions, but Pravoslaviya's government has remained vague on possible next steps, and continued to insist that current sanctions will suffice while also pledging that 'all options remain open'. Dragan Trympov, who is expected to win the European Council by-election on Thursday, has suggested that he will raise the issue in Europolis.
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11th March 2021
TRYMPOV WINS COUNCIL BY-ELECTION
Results by district. Mr Trympov is in blue, Mr Borisov in pink, and Mr Akhmetich in green.Dragan Trympov has, as expected, stormed to victory in a European Council by-election which was held today. With the support of both government parties and the corrupt Patriotic Congress failing to put forward a right-of-centre opponent, Mr Trympov scored an impressive 67% of the vote.
Among the losers were Kyril Borisov, from the post-Communist 'Social Democratic Party', who scored 16%; Pomak and Minority Electoral Action's Muhammat Akhmetich, who scored 10% after an ethnic grievance based campaign; and open Communist Simeon Yav, who scored 7% and failed to win a single district. Mr Trympov carried almost all districts, with only Muminov voting for Akhmetich by a 5% margin, and the city of Torlagrad being carried by Borisov by a 6% margin.
Trympov is expected to work closely with the Government following his election, ensuring that Pravoslaviya's foreign policy is well co-ordinated, and he also plans to re-energise the Make Europe Great Again movement. Campaign promises include action to escalate the Caspian crisis to Europolis if Reitzmag fails to respond positively to sanctions, a drive to eliminate paedophiles in the European elite, and working to oppose and roll back globalist Council legislation.
Trympov spoke to his supporters after his victory was announced, pledging to keep his promises in office:
"Well, folks. They can't say I'm not a councillor now. They can't say 'oh, Dragan Trympov doesn't represent Pravoslaviya'. I mean look at that, I'm basically on 70%, and you know, with some demographics, that's going to be 80%, 90%. Isn't that so good?"
"The people of Pravoslaviya have gone to Edward Firoux and the ECoJ and told them where they can put their Elected and Accountable Council Act. The globalists do not want non-globalists on the Council, OK, and they did all they could to stop me being there, delay me being there, and Tupac has done a great job filling in for me and I wish him well as Minister for Defence - and it looks like Reitzmag might give him a busy start there, who knows - but these globalists are so bad, but they're losers, and they lost tonight. They can't get anything right, and that's why Firoux has gone home, he knew I'd win, so he can't face me, OK, he ran off, back to Gisela - bye-bye, he said, bye-bye! - and he's not there any more, so really this is two big wins."
"This is the most dangerous job in Europe, OK? Tupac faked his own death years ago to come to Pravoslaviya, only to get this job, and they nearly killed him for real, would you believe? And remember that woman from Mennrimiak, the one who was poisoned? And the Alkharyan one who got killed, she was out on a run, and they killed her, unbelievable. And we all know Coventry didn't kill himself, but what about Hufton? You're telling me that's not a little bit crazy; he's a young guy, a fit guy, and he just dies so Van Halen can have his rigged election? Give me a break. But still all these people say 'oh, Trympov is just after power, oh no', and I say what? I'm giving up, potentially, my life for you people, and the globalists, remember, they kill whoever they don't like, I mean remember Craticus? But I'm doing a really dangerous job, and I'm doing it for you. They're after you, and I'm just putting myself in the way."
"They don't like me because I keep my promises, folks. I kept my promise to take down Retard Apostol and the Vulovich Bratstvo, with my good friend Rudi Dzhulyanov, who they didn't let be on the ECoJ because he's not a globalist, by the way. And I'm going to take down the paedophiles in Europe's globalist elite, so our sons and our daughters can be safe like never before. And I'm going to make sure they get rid of those islands in our beautiful Caspian Sea."
"And folks, I am going to put Pravoslaviya first, and take down the globalists, and stop them imposing crazy laws and spending projects on our people. It's time to stop 'migrants and minorities' first politics, and Make Europe Great Again! Thanks; thanks, folks."
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4th July 2021
PROTESTS AGAINST CASPIAN 'TRIUMVIRATE'
Patriotic protesters burned flags relating to the 'C3' countries in a protest in Belogradchik yesterday.The Government has pledged to "take action wherever necessary" to counter the formation of a 'C3' bloc of Caspian countries, who have referred to themselves as a regional 'triumvirate', following widespread protests against the bloc over the weekend.
In a move that has blindsided Pravoslaviya and other regional players, the nations of United Duchies, Selvaris, and Reitzmag have agreed open-door immigration, liberalised trade, a mutual extradition treaty, and intelligence co-operation in an extremely wide-ranging treaty. The group have called themselves the 'C3' or 'Caspian Triumvirate', a move which has provoked outrage among Pravoslaviyan patriots.
Simeon Vukov, former leader of the League Against Corruption, told a large gathering in Belogradchik yesterday that "this bloc has been formed to dominate the Caspian and dominate Pravoslaviya. They have called themselves a triumvirate, which is a group of three people who dominate everybody else. Caesar, Pompey, Crassus. United Duchies, Reitzmag, Selvaris. They see themselves as the Caesar, Pompey, and Crassus of our region, and we are the people they want to dominate. We say they will dominate nothing but our corpses!"
Protesters have also called for Pravoslaviya to abandon the Caspian Treaty, which ties Caspian nations into a range of agreements on fisheries and resource exploitation in the Caspian Sea. While Selvaris has not yet acceded to the Caspian Treaty, it is entitled to do so, and upon doing so it would give the 'C3' a 60% majority on the Caspian Council, which would allow the new bloc to force through economic agreements that are favourable to the bloc's interests.
The Prime Minister, Metodi Pravoslav, has called for calm, and extended a warm welcome to Selvaris as a new member of the European Union. "We do not see any of these nations as unfriendly or hostile," he said in a statement issued via social media, "we simply ask them to recognise our concerns." Pointing to North Diessen's reaction to the formation of the C3, which has included curbs on co-operation with the United Duchies, Mr Pravoslav added that "these concerns are not unique to ourselves."
Mr Pravoslav promised that he would propose amendments to the Caspian Treaty aimed at guaranteeing Pravoslaviya's economic interests against the threat of domination by the new bloc. "We believe in the Caspian Treaty, and we believe in Caspian co-operation. What we do not believe in, and I believe even the C3 countries will agree to this, is using the Caspian Treaty as a means for a slim majority of nations on the Caspian to dominate and outvote everybody else." More specific proposals are expected to follow either on Sunday or in the early part of next week.