Plastic Surgery Woman (Expulsion from Council) Bill
Presented by Cllr Dragan Trympov
An Act to expel Karinn Lallana from the European Council
I. ‘Plastic Surgery Woman’: Karinn Lallana, hitherto European Councillor for Inquista
SECTION I – EXPULSION
I. Plastic Surgery Woman is expelled from the European Council with immediate effect.
II. Plastic Surgery Woman is banned from ever serving as a European Councillor again.
SECTION II – IDENTITY
I. The Council confirms that Plastic Surgery Woman is not Taylor Swift, and that the real Taylor Swift is alive in Pravoslaviya.
Folks, it gives me great pleasure to introduce the Plastic Surgery Woman (Expulsion from Council) Bill to this Chamber. This is the best Bill I, or for that matter any of you, have ever created in this Council, and really, I’d urge you all to vote for it, it’s going to be a great Act, and it’s what we need right now.
Cllr Karinn Lallana, who I like to call Plastic Surgery Woman, because she’s a woman, and she’s had a lot of plastic surgery, and it’s gone very badly for her, is the single worst person to have ever been put in the European Council, OK? She is by far the worst.
And maybe people will say, ‘oh, she’s not a demon child, she hasn’t thrown powder everywhere’, but you know what I say to that? You know what I say to that, folks? ‘Not yet’. Not yet.
Because we haven’t seen the real Karinn Lallana, people. In fact, you can’t see the real Karinn Lallana, because she’s hiding behind her botched fake face. It’s actually a security risk to have her in the Council, because she’s had so much plastic surgery, OK, you can’t see who she is. She could be anyone. She could be anyone in the world.
Except Taylor Swift. That is not Taylor Swift, even though she had the plastic surgery so she could look like Taylor, who as we all know is alive in Pravoslaviya. And you can all see right now what a bad job the surgeons did, OK, in fact, in that sense, I feel sorry for Cllr Plastic Surgery Woman, because she wanted to look like Taylor Swift, and really it looks nothing like her, and it’s really sad.
But we have got to expel her from the Council, OK? It’s a security risk, she’s delusional, and we shouldn’t have to share a room with this person. In fact, she is the worst bully in Europe. I have been victimised again and again by this woman. She has said the most disgusting things against me, and really, it shouldn’t be allowed. She said I tried to murder some other Fake Taylor Swift, when if anything she tried to murder Taylor Swift by plastic surgerying her face to look like her!
I am making a stand for anti-bullying by speaking up against this disgusting animal. This Council can send a message. Either that bullying is not OK, and if you’re a little different, a little weird, maybe you’ve got a wheelchair, or you’re a fat, like really yuge person, or you’re like ‘OHHHH AHHHH’ [Trympov flails arms wildly], then that’s OK, that’s a lot of fun. Or, alternatively, you can keep Plastic Surgery Woman in the Council and say it’s OK to bully those kids, flush them down the toilet while they’re going ‘AAHHHH NOOOO’ [Trympov flails arms and then covers his mouth and makes a ‘GLUB GLUB GLUB’ noise, followed by choking noises]. Really, it’s up to you folks, OK, it’s up to you.
And let’s face it, the so-called election where this woman got made a councillor is so rigged. First of all, it should not have happened anyway, the state of Inquista is a fake state ever since they murdered Paul Craticus and threw him out a window because he stood up to Globalism.
But most importantly, I mean 51.31%, come on, folks. Do you believe 51% of people in Inquista, a great country, a beautiful country that voted so many times for Archbishop Craticus, voted for that? I don’t. The last time they did a poll on who they wanted as councillor, she was on like 17%, and that was a little high, let’s be honest here.
She’s been rigged into that seat by the Globalists. You can’t see her face behind what is basically, if you think about it, a mask, OK? It’s a plastic mask, and a really bad one at that, like those ones you get in a joke store – that’s what she has on permanently, and that’s who we’re letting into our chamber? But she’s that, and she’s a bully as well, she says the most disgusting things. She’s had botched face surgery, she’s had botched brain surgery, and she’s probably in the Vulovich Bratstvo as well, and as we all know, they killed Francois Beaufort, who was a good guy, I liked him, but they killed him, they’ve done a lot of bad stuff, and it’s really not what you want.
Right now, folks, we have a sick person in the Council, and her name is Karinn Lallana, or Plastic Surgery Woman. We don’t want sick people ruling our region; in fact, if you let her stay in the Council, then every other country will leave, because they don’t want this psycho ruling over them. Even Inquista, actually, maybe that’s why Inquista voted for her, which they didn’t, but if they did, it’s to get rid of her, get her out of Inquista and into Europolis, and then they’ll leave the EU but they won’t let her back in. And that’s a smart idea but it’s at our expense, folks, and we’d be so stupid to accept her into our Council, OK?
I’m a businessman, OK, and I’m quite a successful one. I own a lot of buildings, a lot of very tall buildings, I work in property so I deal a lot in tall buildings, and one of the buildings I own is the tallest building in Tsetinye, and I have buildings in Belogradchik, and all over, and before that I went to a very prestigious school – and they say if you go to that school, you’ll do great in life because they teach you common sense, OK, they teach you common sense and business sense, which really is the same thing – and you learn so much in your life and I think at this point with the success I’ve had, actually, I’ve learned almost everything. Not quite everything, but I’m almost there, I’d say.
And one of the things I’ve learned is that sometimes you have to be ruthless, in business, in politics, in everything. You have to, if there’s something that’s going to hold you back, you have to cut it out before it does damage, and Plastic Surgery Woman, we have got to cut her out before she damages everybody like she’s damaged her own face and brain.
If we don’t vote for this Bill, this wonderful Bill, and then it becomes an Act, once you pass a Bill it becomes an Act, so it’ll be an Act; but if we don’t make it an Act, there’s no telling what this crazy woman will do. You can’t see her, her language is so bad, she’s delusional, she’s got so many problems, and really, she shouldn’t be here. And if you vote for this Bill, this Act, then actually, she won’t be here, and that’s the best thing for the EU, it’s the best thing for Inquista, it’s really the best thing for everybody, except her. But the worst thing for her is usually the best thing for everybody else, so really, that’s a good thing. In my opinion, that’s a good thing.
So I say vote for this Bill, let’s expel Plastic Surgery Woman, and make sure she never comes back, except, maybe, if she changes her face again so much we can’t tell it’s her. But we’ll deal with that if it happens. For now let’s just pass this Bill. Thanks, folks. Thanks.
Cllr Dragan Trympov