Posts made by Pravoslaviya

@Istkalen said in Plastic Surgery Woman (Expulsion from Council) Bill:

On behalf of the Republic of Istkalen, I vote, in contradiction with the ravings of my Deputy Councillor, AGAINST this act. That makes, then, Cllr. Trympov, only 50% of non-pedophiles, if we are to believe your accusations, so far having voted for the act.

Iras Tilkanas
Councillor for the Republic of Istkalen

Hey, you are a paedophile. Thank you for admitting that Cllr Tusk is a paedophile too, though. Thanks.

Cllr Dragan Trympov

This is Dragan Trympov. I vote FOR this beautiful Act!

100% of NON-paedophiles who have voted so far have voted for the Act, folks, just saying!

Cllr Dragan Trympov

Cllr Tusk is the leading paedophile in the European Progressive Alliance, or the Globalists, who I call Europe's biggest paedophile ring. They murdered Archbishop Craticus, tore him apart, quite literally, it's really nasty to watch, because he stood up to the paedophiles, and now, OK, they're going after me. That's fine, I don't mind that.

But folks, Cllr Lallana is in many ways worse, actually, than a paedophile. So Cllr Tusk, please, despite the fact that you're a paedophile, you like to do horrible things to kids, you take pictures and videos and you move them around and all sorts of horrible things - or so I hear, anyway, and I have it on pretty good authority, believe you me - let's do a truce, and agree to get this horrible women out of our Council. Agreed?

Cllr Dragan Trympov

4th July 2021

PROTESTS AGAINST CASPIAN 'TRIUMVIRATE'

Patriotic protesters burned flags relating to the 'C3' countries in a protest in Belogradchik yesterday.

The Government has pledged to "take action wherever necessary" to counter the formation of a 'C3' bloc of Caspian countries, who have referred to themselves as a regional 'triumvirate', following widespread protests against the bloc over the weekend.

In a move that has blindsided Pravoslaviya and other regional players, the nations of United Duchies, Selvaris, and Reitzmag have agreed open-door immigration, liberalised trade, a mutual extradition treaty, and intelligence co-operation in an extremely wide-ranging treaty. The group have called themselves the 'C3' or 'Caspian Triumvirate', a move which has provoked outrage among Pravoslaviyan patriots.

Simeon Vukov, former leader of the League Against Corruption, told a large gathering in Belogradchik yesterday that "this bloc has been formed to dominate the Caspian and dominate Pravoslaviya. They have called themselves a triumvirate, which is a group of three people who dominate everybody else. Caesar, Pompey, Crassus. United Duchies, Reitzmag, Selvaris. They see themselves as the Caesar, Pompey, and Crassus of our region, and we are the people they want to dominate. We say they will dominate nothing but our corpses!"

Protesters have also called for Pravoslaviya to abandon the Caspian Treaty, which ties Caspian nations into a range of agreements on fisheries and resource exploitation in the Caspian Sea. While Selvaris has not yet acceded to the Caspian Treaty, it is entitled to do so, and upon doing so it would give the 'C3' a 60% majority on the Caspian Council, which would allow the new bloc to force through economic agreements that are favourable to the bloc's interests.

The Prime Minister, Metodi Pravoslav, has called for calm, and extended a warm welcome to Selvaris as a new member of the European Union. "We do not see any of these nations as unfriendly or hostile," he said in a statement issued via social media, "we simply ask them to recognise our concerns." Pointing to North Diessen's reaction to the formation of the C3, which has included curbs on co-operation with the United Duchies, Mr Pravoslav added that "these concerns are not unique to ourselves."

Mr Pravoslav promised that he would propose amendments to the Caspian Treaty aimed at guaranteeing Pravoslaviya's economic interests against the threat of domination by the new bloc. "We believe in the Caspian Treaty, and we believe in Caspian co-operation. What we do not believe in, and I believe even the C3 countries will agree to this, is using the Caspian Treaty as a means for a slim majority of nations on the Caspian to dominate and outvote everybody else." More specific proposals are expected to follow either on Sunday or in the early part of next week.

First of all, Piyers closed that Shiba Inu deal. The man was about to walk away, you can see on the tapes, he's about to walk away, maybe he's repelled by Cllr Lallana's plastic surgery, I don't know, but Piyers comes in and gets him back in. And the three Pomeranians were Ludacris, you were just recording them and you know it.

Folks, if I wanted to suppress opposing views, I would propose a bill to abandon opposing views from the Council, OK? I'd say, oh, ban Globalists, or ban Communists, or ban Patriots, or whatever. But I don't do that, because I like having different views, different people, you get people from all different backgrounds and it's really good, it's a lot of fun at times. And look, I have nothing against women, I've been married three times, I have a really beautiful daughter, I think women - most women - are great.

But really, Plastic Surgery Woman is so bad, it's unique, OK? In fact, maybe I shouldn't call her Plastic Surgery Woman, she's right, that's an insult to women, most of whom probably don't want to be associated with her. And she's going on about my language, oh my language is so bad! It's so bad! And she's saying 'ohhhh, Trympov has no dignity! Trympov's a murderer! Trympov's dangerous!' Give me a break. And this is her first act in this Council, saying these horrible things? We need to get her outta here! Get her out!

Because really, I am the most pro-refugee person, and by the way, the torpedo order was given by Metodi Pravoslav, not me, so get your facts straight. And Pravoslaviya is actually pro-refugee, because since then you don't get boats led by yuman traffickers, who are some very evil people, probably almost as bad as Plastic Surgery Woman herself - and maybe she's involved in that, I don't know - but they can't exploit these folks anymore, and that's good. That's stopped a lot more people drowning, OK.

So Plastic Surgery Woman wants migrants to drown, and she wants them to give money to yuman traffickers. Why? That's an interesting question, isn't it folks? Why? And many people are saying, and I don't know but I hear these are very good people, they're trying to save people, they're holding Globalists to account, holding paedophiles to account, so maybe they're worth listening to, but they're saying Plastic Surgery Woman is a yuman trafficker. She makes money when migrants get on boats, and she makes money when the boats go down and everybody drowns. And that's so sad when that happens, when people die that's not good, but she's laughing, OK, behind the plastic surgery, and maybe it's hard to tell, but she's laughing.

Do we want someone like that in our Council? We don't want people like that in her Council. GET HER OUT! Go back to mommy. Go back to daddy. Get out, Cllr Lallana.

Cllr Dragan Trympov

The only person who is being fired here is Plastic Surgery Woman, who's been fired before - by me, because I have great judgment - and now she's being fired again, because she's a loser, folks. We don't need losers in the European Council.

I mean would you listen to her language, OK, it's disgusting. Whenever I see her on TV, I go to my son Baron and say 'cover your ears!' I have to tell him 'don't talk like that woman, it's wrong!' Do we want parents all over Europe, when they're watching the Council - because I'm here, that's going to happen, because I actually got the best ratings with The Celebrity Apprentice, and let me tell you, they went up so far after I fired Cllr Lallana - do we want parents having to cover their little kiddies ears, saying 'don't listen to the Council, honey'? 'Don't listen to the Council, dear'?

And folks, she is such a liar. Do we want the little children tuning into the Council and hearing lies like 'oh, I've never had plastic surgery'? I mean you can see it all right here, all the work she's had done; maybe she would be better off without it, I don't know, it doesn't look great, but folks, we can't see what's behind her botched plastic surgery, OK? We can't see her real face, I've heard a lot of bad things, so maybe it's worse, but we don't know. But this liar cannot be allowed to come with her hideous mask into our Council!

I mean, she talks about my persecution at the hands of the Globalists, which I won - I'm here, I won, the Pravoslaviyan people voted for me, and by a much bigger margin than 51.31%, by the way - and she also says I represent the rich elite? She says being a councillor is something you get if your country wants to get rid of you, but she hasn't looked in the mirror - probably because it would break - but she's all over the place, folks. She thinks pulling in the second most customers in a task - which is wrong, by the way, she claimed one of Piyers Morganov's sales for her own, and everybody knows it - is some kind of achievement? She's gone even more crazy than usual because she's desperate, because she's been found out, and now she's going to be expelled from the Council forever.

And look, this woman is a Globalist and a Communist at the same time. That's completely wrong, OK, it's no surprise she's confused all the time. Even the Globalists and the Communists are looking at her like 'what'? They're like 'what'? Look, I don't often agree with Cikarova, and I don't often agree with Granger, but I get along with everybody, and Plastic Surgery Woman is so wrong. She's a liar, she's a fraud, she's a bully, her language is so bad and confused, she throws around crazy allegations, she's basicallu a flat cake. Cllr Linek is right, she's a flat cake, and she tricks people. We have got to get Plastic Surgery Woman out of the Council folks, and maybe into prison, we'll see. But first we get her out of the Council.

Cllr Dragan Trympov

Plastic Surgery Woman (Expulsion from Council) Bill

Presented by Cllr Dragan Trympov

PREAMBLE

An Act to expel Karinn Lallana from the European Council

DEFINITIONS

I. ‘Plastic Surgery Woman’: Karinn Lallana, hitherto European Councillor for Inquista

SECTION I – EXPULSION

I. Plastic Surgery Woman is expelled from the European Council with immediate effect.
II. Plastic Surgery Woman is banned from ever serving as a European Councillor again.

SECTION II – IDENTITY

I. The Council confirms that Plastic Surgery Woman is not Taylor Swift, and that the real Taylor Swift is alive in Pravoslaviya.

Folks, it gives me great pleasure to introduce the Plastic Surgery Woman (Expulsion from Council) Bill to this Chamber. This is the best Bill I, or for that matter any of you, have ever created in this Council, and really, I’d urge you all to vote for it, it’s going to be a great Act, and it’s what we need right now.

Cllr Karinn Lallana, who I like to call Plastic Surgery Woman, because she’s a woman, and she’s had a lot of plastic surgery, and it’s gone very badly for her, is the single worst person to have ever been put in the European Council, OK? She is by far the worst.

And maybe people will say, ‘oh, she’s not a demon child, she hasn’t thrown powder everywhere’, but you know what I say to that? You know what I say to that, folks? ‘Not yet’. Not yet.

Because we haven’t seen the real Karinn Lallana, people. In fact, you can’t see the real Karinn Lallana, because she’s hiding behind her botched fake face. It’s actually a security risk to have her in the Council, because she’s had so much plastic surgery, OK, you can’t see who she is. She could be anyone. She could be anyone in the world.

Except Taylor Swift. That is not Taylor Swift, even though she had the plastic surgery so she could look like Taylor, who as we all know is alive in Pravoslaviya. And you can all see right now what a bad job the surgeons did, OK, in fact, in that sense, I feel sorry for Cllr Plastic Surgery Woman, because she wanted to look like Taylor Swift, and really it looks nothing like her, and it’s really sad.

But we have got to expel her from the Council, OK? It’s a security risk, she’s delusional, and we shouldn’t have to share a room with this person. In fact, she is the worst bully in Europe. I have been victimised again and again by this woman. She has said the most disgusting things against me, and really, it shouldn’t be allowed. She said I tried to murder some other Fake Taylor Swift, when if anything she tried to murder Taylor Swift by plastic surgerying her face to look like her!

I am making a stand for anti-bullying by speaking up against this disgusting animal. This Council can send a message. Either that bullying is not OK, and if you’re a little different, a little weird, maybe you’ve got a wheelchair, or you’re a fat, like really yuge person, or you’re like ‘OHHHH AHHHH’ [Trympov flails arms wildly], then that’s OK, that’s a lot of fun. Or, alternatively, you can keep Plastic Surgery Woman in the Council and say it’s OK to bully those kids, flush them down the toilet while they’re going ‘AAHHHH NOOOO’ [Trympov flails arms and then covers his mouth and makes a ‘GLUB GLUB GLUB’ noise, followed by choking noises]. Really, it’s up to you folks, OK, it’s up to you.

And let’s face it, the so-called election where this woman got made a councillor is so rigged. First of all, it should not have happened anyway, the state of Inquista is a fake state ever since they murdered Paul Craticus and threw him out a window because he stood up to Globalism.

But most importantly, I mean 51.31%, come on, folks. Do you believe 51% of people in Inquista, a great country, a beautiful country that voted so many times for Archbishop Craticus, voted for that? I don’t. The last time they did a poll on who they wanted as councillor, she was on like 17%, and that was a little high, let’s be honest here.

She’s been rigged into that seat by the Globalists. You can’t see her face behind what is basically, if you think about it, a mask, OK? It’s a plastic mask, and a really bad one at that, like those ones you get in a joke store – that’s what she has on permanently, and that’s who we’re letting into our chamber? But she’s that, and she’s a bully as well, she says the most disgusting things. She’s had botched face surgery, she’s had botched brain surgery, and she’s probably in the Vulovich Bratstvo as well, and as we all know, they killed Francois Beaufort, who was a good guy, I liked him, but they killed him, they’ve done a lot of bad stuff, and it’s really not what you want.

Right now, folks, we have a sick person in the Council, and her name is Karinn Lallana, or Plastic Surgery Woman. We don’t want sick people ruling our region; in fact, if you let her stay in the Council, then every other country will leave, because they don’t want this psycho ruling over them. Even Inquista, actually, maybe that’s why Inquista voted for her, which they didn’t, but if they did, it’s to get rid of her, get her out of Inquista and into Europolis, and then they’ll leave the EU but they won’t let her back in. And that’s a smart idea but it’s at our expense, folks, and we’d be so stupid to accept her into our Council, OK?

I’m a businessman, OK, and I’m quite a successful one. I own a lot of buildings, a lot of very tall buildings, I work in property so I deal a lot in tall buildings, and one of the buildings I own is the tallest building in Tsetinye, and I have buildings in Belogradchik, and all over, and before that I went to a very prestigious school – and they say if you go to that school, you’ll do great in life because they teach you common sense, OK, they teach you common sense and business sense, which really is the same thing – and you learn so much in your life and I think at this point with the success I’ve had, actually, I’ve learned almost everything. Not quite everything, but I’m almost there, I’d say.

And one of the things I’ve learned is that sometimes you have to be ruthless, in business, in politics, in everything. You have to, if there’s something that’s going to hold you back, you have to cut it out before it does damage, and Plastic Surgery Woman, we have got to cut her out before she damages everybody like she’s damaged her own face and brain.

If we don’t vote for this Bill, this wonderful Bill, and then it becomes an Act, once you pass a Bill it becomes an Act, so it’ll be an Act; but if we don’t make it an Act, there’s no telling what this crazy woman will do. You can’t see her, her language is so bad, she’s delusional, she’s got so many problems, and really, she shouldn’t be here. And if you vote for this Bill, this Act, then actually, she won’t be here, and that’s the best thing for the EU, it’s the best thing for Inquista, it’s really the best thing for everybody, except her. But the worst thing for her is usually the best thing for everybody else, so really, that’s a good thing. In my opinion, that’s a good thing.

So I say vote for this Bill, let’s expel Plastic Surgery Woman, and make sure she never comes back, except, maybe, if she changes her face again so much we can’t tell it’s her. But we’ll deal with that if it happens. For now let’s just pass this Bill. Thanks, folks. Thanks.

Cllr Dragan Trympov

The Kingdom of Pravoslaviya votes as follows:

For Premier Commissioner:

1. Iskiris KOLINE
2. Sofie CIKAROVA

For Internal Affairs Commissioner:

1. Joe BIDEN
2. Peter LEESON
3. Piane DAGGOTT

The Kingdom of Pravoslaviya votes as follows:

1. Andreas EKKA
2. Benjamin STEYN
3. Robert RINDER

Thank you, candidates. I have one final question for you. You each have 2 minutes ((OOC: 300 words)) to answer this and, if they wish, include a final statement to the voters.

Joe Biden will have an additional minute ((OOC: 150 words; so 450 in total)) to answer his previous question and, if he wishes, respond to Emma Granger and Piane Daggot.

My final question to all the candidates is this:

Recently, Commissioner Birdane hosted the Bergen climate conference. But in this entire debate, not one of you has mentioned the word 'climate' or 'environment' once. Do you believe it's the EU's responsibility to take action to tackle climate change and protect the environment; and if so, what would you do on that issue if elected?

Thank you, candidates. I'm going to finish with a question for each of you. For this, you have 2 minutes ((OOC: 300 words)) to respond and, if you wish, include a final statement to the voters.

JEAN-CLAUDE JUNCKER: You've described the EU as 'broken' and said you want to 'bring the real European Union back'. But you're a veteran Internal Affairs Commissioner, and your party, the EPA, have been a powerful force for much of the EU's recent history. Isn't this 'broken' EU the one that you created?

SOFIE CIKAROVA: You've spoken about the EU 'violating the sovereignty of nations', but you also belong to the Party of the European Left. How can you reconcile those two positions: would a member state be free to be right-wing in your Europe?

ISKRIS KOLINE: You started off by saying 'we no longer have a Europe', but you're trying to achieve your agenda through the existing European institutions by running for Premier Commissioner. Why not lobby for countries to leave the EU and set up a new union more in line with your vision; and if you lose this election, will you remain committed to the current EU?

I think it's time we move on, but since they've been mentioned, Ms Daggot and Ms Granger are entitled to an additional minute in their response to this question to rebut Mr Biden ((OOC: 150 words / 450 words in total)). My next questions are directed at each candidate individually:

JOE BIDEN: What would you actually do in office?

PETER LEESON: Same question to you. You've said a lot about what you oppose, but what would you do in office?

EMMA GRANGER: What do you have to say to the straight, male voters of the region? Why should they vote for you?

JOSEPHINE AREAI: You've been open about your dark past, but why should the voters trust you?

PIANE DAGGOT: You've been accused of being a puppet of the UNSR. As a proud Czech Slavian, will you uphold existing EU law against the UNSR?

As ever, you each have two minutes ((OOC: 300 words, unless stated otherwise)) to respond, followed by a free debate phase of turns of one minute ((OOC: 150 words)) each.

Thank you, candidates. Our next question comes from a Vardic citizen. You can see it on the screen there:

What's the point of the European Union if all the nations do their own thing? Also, how do you pronounce Vayinaod?

"Thank you. We now move on to our first question."

"You've all spoken about your desire to bring the European Union back together, but how do you intend to do that? What's the core problem dividing Europe right now, and what do you plan to do to address it?"

"You each have 2 minutes ((OOC: 300 words)) to respond. After you've all spoken, you can debate each other in turns of 1 minute maximum ((OOC: 150 words))."

I'd like to thank the candidates for their opening statements.

Our first question tonight will get to the heart of the disagreements in this campaign. All elections are a war of words, but this is a whole new arms race.

Peter Leeson, you've called Emma Granger a 'hypocrite' who wants a 'European monoculture'. You've also launched multiple broadsides at Jean-Claude Juncker, who isn't even running for this position.

Piane Daggott, your campaign has called Joe Biden 'shifty'.

Emma Granger, you've called some of your opponents 'architects of fear' and accused them of using 'conspiracy theories'.

Josephine Areai, you've said Peter Leeson is 'one step from insane'.

Joe Biden, you've dismissed many of your opponents' policies as 'malarkey'.

So my question is this: do you stand by all the statements you've made during this campaign so far; and do you believe the rhetoric in this campaign is helping to bring the EU back together?

You each have two minutes to respond ((OOC: 300 words)). You can then debate with each other, in turns of one minute each ((OOC: 150 words)).

INTERNAL AFFAIRS DEBATE

WITH TOUKER KARLOV

Touker Karlov: Good evening! I'm Touker Karlov, and welcome to the Internal Affairs Commissioner debate.

Europe is at a crossroads. That's not a big secret, we all know that at this point. Ordinary people from Fremet to the Duxburian Union, from Spain to Vayinaod, have a big decision to make. What path do we go down as a region? What will keep us together, keep us united as a region? What could tear us apart?

That's a real possibility right now. I don't know if you know that, but it's true. More than one country, some important countries, have spoken about breaking the region apart. We've gone from exits to Super Unions, and it can get worse, or it can get better. That relies on your decision in this election, and it relies on these candidates - their plans, their priorities, and what they'll do if they're elected.

We have five candidates vying for your support tonight. They are:

JOSEPHINE AREAI, from Istkalen. Areai brings with her a controversial past. Her name has echoed through the halls of Europolis for some time, in connection with more than one person. But is her future bright, and is Europe's future bright with her? Tonight, you can find out.

JOE BIDEN, from Reitzmag. Joe Biden is a political veteran. Politics is what he does. He's been in three parties, and now he's in none. He's charting his own path, but is it a path you want Europe to follow?

PIANE DAGGOTT, from Czech Slavia. Piane Daggott is Nicoleizian. She is, for all intents and purposes, a UNSR candidate. That might be OK with you, that might not. You might think she's wide awake, you might find her fast asleep. Tonight, she gets to make her case for your vote.

EMMA GRANGER, from Montenbourg. Emma quit the EPA leadership to stand for this role. Committed, or over-confident? Globalist, or just compassionate? You get to be the judge.

PETER LEESON, from the United Duchies. You may remember Leeson from a former Commission election. He didn't get elected this time; now we get to hear why he thinks he should get this position, this time.

Before I invite the candidates to give their opening statements, I'll start with a few ground rules. For their opening statements, candidates will have 2 minutes to respond ((OOC: 300 words)). That will be followed by an open debate period ((OOC: 24 hours)), in which time candidates can have 1 minute each to respond to each other ((OOC: 150 words)).

The same goes for the questions that follow - 2 minutes initial response, followed by free debate with a time limit of 1 minute.

With that cleared up, let's go to our first candidate. Start the clock, let's go!

PREMIER COMMISSIONER DEBATE

WITH PIYERS MORGANOV

Piyers Morganov: Hello, good evening. I'm Piyers Morganov, and tonight I'm going to be grilling the three candidates who want to be your next Premier Commissioner. These two women, and one man, want to run the European Union, and I'm here to test them on their knowledge, pin them down on their plans, and help you decide who you want to lead the region for the next four months. The stakes are high, so I'm not going to hold back, I'm not going to take any prisoners, and I'm not going to let them keep anything in reserve.

So without further ado, it's time to introduce the three candidates who are after your vote tonight:

SOFIE CIKAROVA, from Czech Slavia. A passionate left-winger, Sofie came third the last time she stood for Premier Commissioner. What makes her think she can do better this time; and what does she make of the instability in her own country and the entire European Union, and her own role in that? It's time for the real Sofie Cikarova to stand up.

JEAN-CLAUDE JUNCKER, from Spain. No stranger to many Europeans from his time as Internal Affairs Commissioner, Jean-Claude is campaigning to 'bring the real European Union back'. But is that the European Union he lost during his time on the Commission? Behind the tanks and trains and planes, we're going to get to the bottom of the real Jean-Claude Juncker.

ISKIRIS KOLINE, from Istkalen. Dr Koline has a detailed plan for Europe, but will it hold together under the spotlights of the debate? And what does she make of her war-torn country and the recent abolition of the Republic of Istkalen; what makes her think she has the answers that all of Europe should follow? Will the real Iskiris Koline shine through tonight?

Before we start, I'd like to remind our candidates not to break the rules! Their opening statements will take 6 minutes, so that's 2 minutes each ((OOC: 300 words)). Afterwards, there'll be a free debate period ((OOC: 24 hours)) in which the candidates can argue with each other at great length, provided they stay within my 1 minute ((OOC: 150 word)) limit each time they speak.

Following that, we'll take questions from our beloved European audience, for which candidates will be able to answer for 2 minutes ((OOC: 300 words)), followed by a free debate period where candidates can argue, provided they stay within the 1 minute limit ((OOC: 150 words)).

Furthermore, if any candidate is mentioned by any other candidate, they have an automatic right to reply for 1 minute ((150 words)).

But without further ado, it's time for the candidates to give us their opening statements; their elevator pitch as to why they should lead the EU through the summer of 2021. Let battle commence!

On behalf of the Kingdom of Pravoslaviya, I vote AGAINST the amendment.

Cllr Dragan Trympov

Can voting on the amendment (which I'm obviously against) please begin?

Cllr Dragan Trympov

Nation name: Pravoslaviya
Artist: CVNИVBI$
Song: MINT
Vote deliverer: Pavel Iosif Vatsonov