A Limitless Meeting for Limitless Leaders (Czech Slavia -- Inimicus)
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"Of course you can call me Albína! And I am honored that I can call you as your closest friend, Artie. And I totally get that you don't want press here, they can really distort your words for no reason, I have no doubts that happens to you too, it happened to me, so shameful." Reiserová responded while walking alongside the Emperor through the Palace entrance hall, appreciating it.
"No I didn't know the meaning of the word 'Telum', but I must disagree with you, I have no doubts that you could find extraordinary bravery today. Just consider those who work selflessly to create better future for their children and the future generations, this is bravery to me, and it really inspires me." Reiserová disputed Artabanos' words. Her words about the extraordinary brave person have often been used in Czech Slavia to describe the President herself.
After the Emperor pointed out the newly made fresco scenes. When Artabanos pointed out the Teluvian leader made in his image the President nodded few times slowly, in her eyes this has been another example of cult of personality within the Empire of Inimicus. Something she claims to oppose and something that in her eyes doesn't exist in her country.
"Well I like the overall style of the Imperial Palace, but to be honest I do not design my offices, but it is generally fairly modest, you know, national or red flag there, image of important historical figure or working people, few plants and that's pretty much it. I do decorate my private spaces according to my tastes, but it will sound pretty boring, it is fairly modest too. I like just minimal decoration, again few plants, and some positive messages on the wall, you know, to motivate you during the day, inspire you to do your best and put you in the good mood." explained Reiserová. "Hey, what about you, do you have any favorite quote or quotes?"
She stood desides the Inimican Head of State while the anthems were played and turned to him once the ceremony was over "Oh I am really enjoying it I think I'd like to see more of the Palace first and then we could sit down for a drink and talk, I think the weather outside is quite nice today, compared to few days ago, so I am open to sitting down outside once we finish the tour. But just so you know I am not a heavy drinker. But I love wine." she conveyed her preferences.
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'Postitive messages on the wall?', thought Artabanos as He led the Czech President through the corridors of His Palace, 'I prefer pictures of myself. Or pictures of that Diessenar terrorist, either or.' "Ah, yes, most interesting", Artabanos said cordially, "Dare I ask what some of these positive wall decorations might say? Or, an even better idea -- why don't I visit your office at some point and you can show me? You know, tit for tat and all that. Anyway yes, um, my favourite quotes... “I feel sexy in anything, even a bodybag", by Sharon Needles comes to mind. Apart from that, perhaps... hoc volo, sic iubeo, sit pro ratione voluntas -- I'll let you figure that one out by yourself." He gave the President for Life an innocent wink.
Following the inspection of the men in uniform, the Emperor happily agreed to show the President around the Palace before sitting down. That said, He could really do with a scotch. He was half a mind to excuse Himself for a toilet break and partake of some of the contents of His hip flask. 'I am the epitome of restraint', He thought, however, as He continued through the maze of corridors. "So, Albína, tell me about your family -- I've heard the most wicked rumours about the man in your life. You need to tell me everything."
"Ah, now, here's something worth seeing", Artabanos rejoiced as the duo entered the meeting room of the National Imperial Council. "This, if you will, is where real decision-making takes place." The Emperor gave Albína a moment to look around and take in the magnificent decorations that adorned the heart of Inimician 'democracy'. "Although, you more so than earlier visitors I have had will understand that real decision-making happens in here", He said, and tapped Himself on the side of the head.
Two figures were barely visible in the far corner of the room, whispering amongst themselves. "Ohii, Wilfred! Christopher!", exclaimed Artabanos, and the figures turned around. "I didn't know you were skulking around here." Turning to the President, He assumed an instantly formal tone, becoming almost like a different person entirely. "Your Excellency, meet My Vicarius, or Deputy, and Imperial Councillor Wilfred Cocx, and Imperial Consul and Executive Representative Leader Lord Christopher Strathclyde. Gentlement, President for Life of the Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia, Albína Reiserová."
Strathclyde looked positively frazzled. Artabanos knew His most loyal and hard-working Consul as a dedicated man, but also, privately, an extremely anxious one. "I uh -- I am honoured, Your Excellency", he managed to stammer, "I'm completely -- I'm completely underdressed for the occasion, I apologise."
"Yes, yes", Artabanos interjected, "That's how we know you. Come, Albína, let's leave these fine gents to their plotting. We're not far from My chambers."
"Welcome, welcome", the Emperor said warmly as the two permanent heads of state entered His sitting room. "I had the walls re-done recently, as you might notice. I sort of got tired of the age-old 19th-century classicism, you know? Wanted to spice things up a bit. Now, what was it again? Ah, yes, red wine. Red wine for the President for Life."
Having poured the President a glass of Merlot from the southern Inimician region of Terra Quaestoris -- wine being the only good thing to ever come out of that Province, ever -- and Himself a generous helping of 12-year aged, the two leaders sat down and began the first ever leaders' summit in the history of Inimicus and Czech Slavia. "So, Albína, first off, I'm so glad you accepted my invite, and I'm so sorry for not being able to meet you when you and Mikaela were here the other week. How was that, by the way? I hope the little tour I arranged for you -- and especially the tour guide -- were to your satisfaction? Anyway, yes, I think it's high time for Inimicus and Czech Slavia to step over their age-old differences, don't you think? I guess the reason why I wanted to chat to you is to get stuff going again between our two nations. Much fun indeed!"
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"Oh,... well I hope you will continue feeling sexy in things that aren't a body bag for a long time. And I totally agree you should come visit Prague to see for yourself, you know, for the full effect on the mind." Reiserová agreed happily. As a response to the second quote she simply nodded, she couldn't speak any Latin and haven't heard the quote before, but she didn't want to look like she didn't understand.
"Really? What did you hear? I am divorced. Have been for quite a few years. You know, it just didn't work out, but I really don't think about it often, my personal family is my sons. Other than them, and the other family which is the Czech nation, the most important relationships for me is with my friends. Although Mikaela decided to find a new partner for me, and I mean I am not looking for anybody, but it is still cute.
Even when we visited Telum here, Mikaela found this scientist, a really good looking man I think about my age, you know we went to this fac..." the President for Life who was explaining with smile on her face suddenly stopped and licked her lips. She realized that she might have gotten carried away for a bit. She wasn't sure if she wanted Artabanos to know what she and Kligenberg did in the Inimican military facility and she didn't want any attention to be driven to their guide.
"....well actually I think that that might have been in Pamplona, not in Telum.... there were some other good looking men there too. Like our personal assistant, but he seemed to have some strange tastes..... what about you?... I mean if you are seeing anyone currently! Not if you have strange tastes." After Reiserová finished talking she really needed a drink too.
She laughed sligtly at the Emperor's gesture that decisions are made in his head while looking around the National Imperial Council meeting room and running her hand across the table. She didn't notice Cocx and Strathclyde standing in the corer of the room until Artabanos called to them, it felt weird to her, that the two were present in the room with her , possibly watching her and listening to her in secrecy, nevertheless she extended her hand to both of them. "I am honored to meet you too, Mr. Consul. And I assure you you look great! A dress one works in is always appropriate." she assured Strathclyde before the Emperor asked her to continue to his private chambers. "Goodbye, I hope we will get a chance to meet again." she said to the two men before following Artabanos out of the room and into his chambers.
"I think you did wonderful work with the decoration! And I really like the view too." Reiserová said as she looked out of the room's window. She sat down and gladly accepted her glass of the red wine and tasted it immediately.
"Well I am glad you invited me, I wanted to meet with you officially earlier, but the opportunity didn't present itself. And I completely understand inability to meet with me and Mikaela when we were here, you are a hard working man, which I admire. Now then, I completely agree with you that it is time to normalize relations between the Empire and the Democratic Republic, but as you might know, there are no barriers for normal relations from our side. The Democratic Republic never issued any restrictions towards the Empire, no travel restrictions, no sanctions. All existing barriers were put up by the Empire and it is my sincere hope that the Empire will demolish those barriers, that really is the first step towards co-operation. Regarding co-operation we would like to welcome Inimican companies to come and invest into our state. You can ask Mikaela, or her cousin Silas, about how stable trading partners the hard working people of Czech Slavia are.
Now, how do you imagine the future relations between our states?"
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"Ah, well, you know, Mikaela and I have a group chat going with Jean-Claude and some other folks", Artabanos began, before swiftly realising that His betrayal would possibly be met with His expulsion from the same chat, "So I may or may not have been directly involved with the selection of your nuclear tour guide. Shame, really -- Gustav, you know, of Fremet, used to be an active member too, but he's sort of in hot waters these days. Anyway... No, my only partner at the moment is my Empire, you could say." Artabanos spoke no further on His love life, and He had never done since those fateful days in 2015, when His last relationship ended in literal bloodshed. For some reason, though, the Czech President for Life had a reassuring aura about her -- perhaps it was because He knew that she, like no other, would know how to use secrets and information strategically for political and personal gain.
He did not know why, but spoke further: "You know, after my last relationship ended, I didn't think I'd ever feel able to trust or to love again. You must know how lonely it can get, being at the top... Sometimes, you just wish you could live a normal life. Go to work at 8, come home at 6 to a family, to have friends to spend weekends with. To have someone to rely on at home." He sighed. Perhaps this was why the Diessenar journalist had piqued His interest so. "Ah well, enough from me ranting, Albina, I'm so sorry. Let's continue."
"Thank you", the Emperor said after showing the President for Life around His personal quarters. "There used to be houses outside this window, but I don't particularly like looking at houses, so there's greenery there now." Where the occupants of said houses had been banished to, Artabanos did not know -- and He could not care. If He cared about such things at all, His sanity, and the sanity of the nation with it, would disappear entirely.
"For sure, I fully admit the main barriers to Czech-Inimician co-operation are currently in place in Inimicus. You know what it's like though -- you nearly get assassinated, you need people to blame." Artabanos thought of Augustus Barrington's face after the renegade ex-councillor had been dragged back in front of Artabanos's feet in chains. Did Augustus fire a cruise missile at Artabanos's plane? No. Had he been annoyingly good at what he did? Yes. And that had been offensive enough. "Now that some time has passed, and with the hopefully good press coverage this meeting will get us, I'm confident in saying the Empire will lift all its economic and diplomatic sanctions against Czech Slavia very, very soon. We're ready to do business."
"As you might know, Inimicus is stuffed full of bauxite, uranium, and natural gas. We're always more than keen on exchanging these resources for things we do not produce ourselves. As for Inimician investment in Czech Slavia, of course! I'm sure the Artabanos Foundation would happily start up a Czech Fund in your nation. For other companies, perhaps we could offer some kind of financial incentive to get some cross-border investment going?"
"I do want to ask one thing, and please don't take this the wrong way, but why exactly did you cancel your attendance to the Arty Party when I returned from my rehabilitation in 2020? I would've loved to meet you much sooner than today."
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"Oh... well maybe it was in Inimicus after all. See? You know me better than I do!" Reiserová quickly responded to discovering that Artabanos knows that what she said wasn't true, and she followed her verbal response with a simple smile.
She listened to Artabanos when he opened up about his relationships and loneliness, nodding her head. "No! Don't be sorry, I completely understand that Artie! I oftentimes wish I could go back to acting, and to bring joy to people through art, but my duty is now different, although the goal remains the same. And I imagine getting betrayed must felt crushing, but I am sure you will overcome all the difficulties in your own pace and regain your trust. In time true love will reveal itself, perhaps in a form of a lover, perhaps in the form of friends. I have no doubts about that....I hope you don't mind me asking, but what did you do before you were elected Emperor? What was your normal life? And what led you to seek the office of the Emperor in the first place?. You can tell me when we sit down or keep it to yourself if you want."
The President for Life relaxed in her chair, smiled and raised her eyebrow at the Emperor explanation for the existing sanctions "I am not sure if I completely understand, well except for the assassination part, but even if I would understand, why blame us in particular? What benefit is there to gain from that?"
"Give me a moment." she responded to Artabanos turning to trade, and she pulled up her phone. Apart from looking for the documents she had preapared she also took this opportunity to quickly search up the meaning of "hoc volo, sic iubeo, sit pro ratione voluntas". Finally she found what she was looking for. "Well we would mostly be interested in bauxite out of the resources you offer. Actually there might come time soon when larger quantities of uranium will be required by the Democratic Republic, but that time is not now, if it comes we might reach out. But tell me what would your country be interested in. Our resources are mainly iron and rare earth metals, but it seems that the Empire doesn't have a need for a source of iron and regarding the REM the Democratic Republic is entering talks with other producers, which might, you know, limit our ability to export freely... however our economy is largely agrarian, so perhaps there could be something the Empire is interested in?"
"And I am extremely happy to hear about investments! What we would benefit from the most is Inimican companies establishing themselves especially in services like entertainment and retail, and also in machinery, and chemical production again mostly related to agriculture, but also mining.... are the companies from the Empire capable and willing to do this?"
"Wait ,Arty party in 2020?" she turned her gaze onto her mobile screen again for several moments before turning back to the Emperor. "I didn't cancel my attendance to that. I couldn't have canceled it, you didn't invite me! I was not a Head of State or Government back in September 2020, I was elected in December of that year, but in September I had no idea I will become the President I was still an actress." She smiled. "That leads me to a question, do you like romantic films? Well anyways, I cancelled the attendance to the 10-year Empire Anniversary Celebration last year, because, you know, you invited yourself to North Diessen and we were neutral in that conflict... so that isn't on me." she raised her finger. "And this official reason is the only one. Why would I have another reason? I wanted to come prior to that."
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"Hang on... I think I'm getting my dates confused... Must be the crash, do forgive me", said Artabanos, knowing full well that the attempted assassination was only the indirect cause of His cognitive blunting -- the copious amounts of liquor He now consumed, the paranoia, the stress, being the real cause. "Of course, you would not have been able to attend my Welcome Back party in 2020. And then, yes, this business with the North Diessenar rebellion. Just terrible. How did the public in Czech Slavia view that whole affair? As for what led me to having to organise a Welcome Back party in general -- well you see, it appeared some of my trustees were conspiring with socialists in Neo-Venetia. The Inimician public was furious at anything red. Between you and me, I very much doubt the extent to which the Neo-Venetians were involved in the first place, but someone had to get the chop, you know? Anyway, it's pretty much all died down now, so not to worry!"
His neighbouring states were causing Artabanos more pain than pleasure at this stage. From a willing, quiet puppet, Diessenar President Mueller had shown himself to be anything but quiet. The defenestration of Artabanos's trusted Commander had shocked Him to the bone. Dromund Kaas was, well, Dromund Kaas. Neo-Venetia, ditto. And then Angleter, potentially withdrawing from the Union. Anyway, no time to mull these things over right now. He must stay focused. "Oh, so you asked me earlier what I did before I moved in here. Well, my real title is actually Professor Artabanos. I lectured Early Modern Politics at Astro University before standing for election to the 2003 Ducal elections there. This was when Dukes were still elected -- for obvious reasons, they aren't anymore..."
Those were the days. No one watched Him, and yet He watched everything and everyone. He had been close enough to power to exert influence, yet far enough away to avoid scrutiny. Not like now. "And ever since that year, I've been a full-time politician. Ooh, I've actually got a photo of me with hair somewhere. Hang on." He stood up and rummaged around a cupboard for a short while, before presenting Albína with a pre-2003 image.
"Eh, well, not as much hair as I remember. Anyway, I'd happily tell you more about My journey to the Imperial Palace, but first.... trade! Business! Yes, well, we did recently come to a soft-spoken agreement with Istkalen around REM supplies, but all they've promised us is that they'll try to keep our supply going. Depending on how your REM conference talks go, we'd sure appreciate a second link with the market. You know how volatile these Istkalenic folks can be..."
Artabanos stood up again to refill His glass. Gesturing to Albína for a refill, and receiving a short shake of the head in return, He said while walking back to His seat: "I still can't believe I missed you and Mikaela here last month. How did the two of you become such friends in the first place? I must say as well, romantic films generally turn me more melancholy than happy. Although, and I'm quite unfamiliar with your films I must admit, if you starred in any, I'm sure I could give them a watch?"
"Ah, well, if you're looking for production of chemicals, look no further. After all, it was my predecessor Emperor William who deployed home-made Inimician soman nerve gas on our streets in late 2012. Our companies can supply whatever pesticide you need -- I know all about weeding out rotten elements." Judy and Jeff Speller, former Emperor Hugh Doyle, former Emperor William Jameson, the Barringtons and their ilk, Simon Lane and his Cabinets of fools, the House of Commons, the House of Nobles. Gone. Erased from the histories.
"Inimicus is not a huge agricultural producer, so I'm seeing potential here. Oh, but we do have loads of bauxite, if that's something you're into. And, together with the Vardics, we have among the largest supplies of natural gas. Just between you and me, I've been chatting to the Archkonsul -- weird chap, but anyway -- and we're... well... predicting some volatility in the gas market... some price hikes, potentially. I could cut you a good deal, make sure you're not affected... If you're interested?"
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"Oh no worries and no need to apologize, I understand." Reiserová reassured the Emperor, "How did we view the conflict in North Diessen? Well we were against the military intervention carried out by your country. And we would be against any such intervention by any country." Reiserová didn't make any distinction between the position of the Government, the Party and the public "You probably know what the Premier Comissioner said, that was the position of our nation."
"An academic, that is nice! You know I was cast to play a professor once." the President's proud words were followed by few nods from her and then few moments of awkward silence. After few seconds she decided to break the silence again "Anyways I suppose the transition from University into a political life must have been fairly natural for you, right? I mean especially since you taught Early Modern Politics." she took the picture from Artabanos' hand and briefly looked at it. "I hope you tell me more, it all sounds interesting, but of course, let's return to the trade policy for now. I understand why the Empire would want more than just one supplier, but we will see. The talks about the co-operation of the REM producers are in progress and any agreement will require a ratification on our part so again, we will see. That is really all I can say now." she shrugged her shoulders.
"Oh Mikaela, she is an amazing woman, strong, inspirational... Right, let me tell you the story,... thank you for the wine... ok so, before I was elected President, our state was fairly isolated diplomatically and we struggled keeping our qualified workforce in the country, due to the Inquistan Communist Refugee Program. And then Mikaela invited Prime Minister Černá, it was before we had a presidential system, into Saint Dominico, but they failed to reach any agreement. And so when I was elected President, it became my duty to get us out of that program and so invited Mikaela to Prague, and you know, it was my first meeting with a foreign Head of Government so I was obviously stressed. But Mikaela was just so friendly and nice and she completely understood everything, so we reached an agreement quickly and we talked about the important things like motherhood and got close, you know."
Reiserová took a quick sip of the wine and immediately continued talking "So that is how we met. You know, she is just different from all the others, she emanates warmth. The other officials I have met usually seem cold and detached. And perpetually nervous, which is never good for mental health. Like the Head of State of Istkalen, he seems like a nice guy, he is about my, and Mikaela's, age I think, but he is just cold and appears to be always worried about something and is attempting to hide it. You know some politicians are not happy when actors enter politics, but if they had some acting experience they could at least hide their emotions better." she took another short sip, "Hmm... now that I think about it, maybe I should make my ministers take some acting classes." her eyes now met the eyes of the Emperor. "Oh,... anyway I won't derail further. You don't really need to watch my films if you don't like romantic ones. I just thought it may be the reason why you thought I was invited to the Welcome Back Party, that you perhaps saw me in a movie earlier so it confused you."
"Oh,.... umm.... would soman even work on weeds and pests?" Reiserová became quite uncomfortable when the Emperor mentioned his predecessor using gas on the streets of Inimicus and had to briefly excuse herself to the toilet where she washed her face with cold water and had to remove her make up afterward, taking quite a considerable time. When she finally returned she continued in a bit shaken voice "What we would prefer, rather than simple supply, is your companies came into our country, built factories and produced the pesticides and machinery there, you know, employing our people."
"Well great, we can supply Inimicus with wheat, vegetables, fruit, meat, really anything that can grow in our climate, you can tell us what you need and we can direct our focus to that, so it's up to you! As I said, we are interested in Inimican bauxite and might become interested in uranium in time, but we will see what the future will hold. I actually never seen the Archkonsul... can you tell me why he is weird, or is that something you don't want to share? But regarding natural gas. The people north of us, you know the formely Catholic-hating now Catholic-hugging ones, actually have a substantial supply of natural gas. They don't really utilise it now, but there are indications that this might change and they are seeking closer relations. So that is what we are predicting, potentially. No offense, they are just much closer." Reiserová smiled.
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"Oh yes, I must admit I have intentionally closed myself off from any news about Catholicism and who loves and who hates it over the last few months", said Artabanos, slightly disappointed He would not get to export Inimician natural gas to yet another nation. The tanks and tankers had such lovely pictures of His face on. Nevertheless, He nodded graciously when potential, though unconfirmed, links to REM came up. "Whenever you need any uranium, Albina, just hit me up. We get the vast, vast majority of our electricity from nuclear power, we have an active nuclear weapons arsenal, and we've still got loads and loads to spare. Oh also, if you ever feel like stashing a tube of a radioactive isotope of uranium into Simon Bridges's coat pocket, just give me ring."
Artabanos understood the Inimician actions in North Diessen were not met with approval from Czech Slavia. This was disappointing. Nevertheless, He did not need Czech approval, He merely needed an absence of Czech counter-action, and that was -- so far -- what He had received.
"Since you asked", He continued, "Yes, the transition to politics was quite a shock to the system. But you know what it's like though, right -- especially you would know -- you see that so many things are unjust, are incorrect, and you just have to take action. I mean, when I stood for Duke, the incumbent was attempting to ban the sale of male--oriented magazines, if you know what I mean. That was the final straw for me. Then, when I unexpectedly became Duke, I started seeing how many of Inimicus's issues at the time were a consequence of the national government, not provincial administrations. The country was still a republic at the time, you see. Through underground networks I got in touch with my former chums and ex-Emperors William and Hugh. May they rest in peace. Oh -- whoops, I'm not sure whether Hugh's death is actually official or not. He may still be publically alive..."
And what an existence Hugh had gone through in his final days. It was really better this way. Hugh had betrayed Artabanos more times than He could count, but he would betray Him no more. 'The folks over at the Imperial Guard Investigation Unit do such a good job', Artabanos though, 'They really deserve a payrise. Or, well, perhaps not a payrise. Perhaps a slice of cake as a token of gratitude.' Before He became too distracted, He continued: "But I imagine the transition must have been harder for you? What made you switch from acting to the Presidency?"
"Eh, well, I don't think Soman gas would work on biological pests, no. But it certainly worked on something, that's for sure. Don't be too freaked out, Albina, this was long, long ago, when I was not even remotely in charge" -- well, not officially, at the very least -- "Such things would obviously not happen these days. We have more secreti--- No, eh, where were we? Ah yes, business exchange. Absolutely, I'm sure I could entice some Inimician industry giants to set up in Czech Slavia. Tell me about working conditions in your country. What types of legislation would these companies have to deal with?"
The Emperor listened with intent to His counterpart's tale of friendship with the Inquistan Archbishop. Somewhere, in some part of His mind, He wished He still had friends like that. All His 'friends' currently were those who owed Him, or those who were afraid of Him. No basis for 'real' friendship. He remembered the days of Triclops, when a former Inquistan Archbishop and the President of Halsberg regularly came to Telum, they had drinks, they had food, and they joked about launching a thousand nukes at the Davishirian capital. Those were the days, but they were no more.
"I can completely imagine how you were drawn to Mikaela, she definitely has that effect on people. I'll let you in on a secret. One of the dusty old men you met earlier, Consul Strathclyde, I'm 95% convinced He's hands-over-heels in love with Kligenberg. You can see it in his eyes, you know what I mean? Anyway, I haven't actually had the pleasure of meeting the new Istkalenic chief. Judging from what you say though, it's not likely to be an actual pleasure. I get much the same feeling from the Vardic Archkonsul. I know he's nice, but he's also not at the same time, if that makes sense? In any case, us lively leaders have to stick together, wouldn't you say?"
The vegetables the President for Life mentioned stirred Artabanos's stomach. He could count on His fingers the pieces of fruit and veg He had eaten since the crash, and He wouldn't need more than one hand. "What is your government's position on tariffs for those food exports you mentioned? Obviously, I would never want to question the quality of Czech produce -- it's not just your men that look irresistibly devourable -- but for our consumers' sake it would be nice to bring this on the market at as low a price as possible. We are willing to sell you our bauxite without attached tariffs, so all you'll pay for are the raw materials."
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"Well I wish I could say the same, but since Strathae is our neighbour ignoring it is not really an option for us."Reiserová shrugged her shoulders. "And trust me, Mikaela and I have big plans for Simon Bridges and none of them include tubes of uranium, but they do include flowers and wine and some nice music and perhaps a certain somebody from Spain... but I won't say any more, we need to keep the plans secret!.... Well unless, of course, Mikaela already told you about them. But anyway, what is your perpetual conflict with Reitzmag about? Your governments always seem to be at odds with each other."
The President for Life laughed slightly when listening to Artabanos' story "Wait, so you are now an Emperor because of "male-oriented magazines"? Well it probably couldn't be replicated in my country, because, you know, the adult-oriented content was never legalized. Although I have one minister in my government arguing for legalization of these kind of things, but there's no need to share any names. Anyway, I get your motivation for getting into politics. My story is a bit more, you know, complicated I'd say, but I'll try to keep it short. So I was supposed to play a role of a military commander in a video game and in order to better portray that role I was in contact with the Minister of Defense at the time, you know, to learn about the military. At that time there was a government supported by all the parties in the Parliament that was supposed to bring about some reforms, but this government betrayed the trust of the predecessor of the current Socialist Republican Party, you know, and aimed to act against the Czech people. And so in order to protect our state and our people I took part in organizing a march on the Office of Prime Minister to demand his resignation." the last part of the President's words were false. The President for Life took no part in organizing the march on the Office of the Prime Minister, on the contrary she was brought into it without her consent by the now deceased former Minister of Defense Bílý. However in the official version by the current government of the Democratic Republic Reiserová is usually mentioned as the only organizer of the march. However in Reiserová's view she told Artabanos the story truthfully, as she became convinced that Bílý only decided to march on the Office under the influence of Reiserová's mere presence.
"At this point, I still had no idea I will enter politics as a profession! But the Prime Minister refused to step down, even tho he lost the confidence of the Parliament, and instead the forces of the reaction attempted a coup against the Democratic Republic. Then someone has mailed explosives to the Office of the Prime Minister. I survived the attack and in turn I was approached by a regional Governor Šedivý together with a secret police agent Vicanová, who also fought against the reactionary putchists, and in our meeting it was decided that I will enter politics,. We finally got the Prime Minister to submit his resignation and, you know, we started on reforming the state, for example changing it from parliamentary to presidential republic and the question arose who will become the candidate of the Socialist Republican Party for President. Both Šedivý and Vicanová aimed to get the nomination but some comrades approached me and asked me to seek nomination and at that point I couldn't refuse that. Furthermore Šedivý and Vicanová concluded that as a single mother I have a high sense for justice, you know and I was appointed as the head of the Extraordinary People's Court... Well and I did everything to protect my kids and my people as the head of this court.... and in the end I got the nomination and was elected! So it wasn't like I ever made the decision I just... you know, had to for my children and people." Reiserová deliberately didn't explicitly say she put both Vicanová and Šedivý before the trial, preventing them from securing the nomination and even sentencing Vicanová to prison. Since then Vicanová has been pardoned by the President. "But as you said the transition was hard for me, and to be honest, it still feels strange to me sometimes." The President for Life finished her monologue and second later she finished her glass of wine and had to request the Emperor for one last refill. She also realized for how long she was talking about herself. "I hope I didn't bore you with the little story, if you have more to say about your history I'll be happy to listen to that."
"Ok, no more talks of toxic gasses please! Let's leave that to the chemists." Reiserová pleaded, "Well I am so glad you agree with you businesses expanding to Czech Slavia. I will personally make sure that the property is sold to them at very low prices. I don't think they can expect anything out of the ordinary really. We have 35 hour working weeks oh and after every six hours of continuous work the employer must grant the employee half an hour of break time. As I said, really nothing out of the ordinary, I don't think." she smiled and shook her head.
"Strathclyde,... was that the slightly nervous one? That's pretty cute! He didn't look that old, although maybe exercising a little bit could be beneficial to him, you know. Of course Mikaela has a partner now, so it is a little unfortunate for him, but if he works on himself he can find a nice partner too. He doesn't have a partner already does he? And I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea, the meeting with Rikkalek wasn't a displeasure or something like that. It was typical more than anything, just what you would expect from a foreign high ranking official, cold, straight to the point, well except the fact he refuses any drink, that part wasn't very typical. Anyways I just meant that Mikaela is more relaxed and friendly. And who knows perhaps when you will have the opportunity to have a meeting with him you'll be able to get him into a more relaxed mood. He's a fairly handsome man so it really might be a pleasure for you."
"We can eliminate tariffs completely!" Reiserová said loudly with a smile before realizing that the word she has used, "eliminate", can be used by Artabanos for some morbid remark. "Remember, we are leaving all talk of toxic gases to experts. And if there are other topics regarding elimination that come to mind I suggest we leave that to some different experts too." she added, once again raising her finger and looking into the Inimican monarch's eyes.
-
"Very well, very well", said Artabanos, strangely intimidated by Reiserová's 'Republican finger', as the reprimanding of others using corrective finger-pointing was known in Inimicus. "Anyway, yes, what an absolutely amazing story you've got, Albina. If anything, your career should be the topic of a box-office hit, starring yourself, of course. I'm sure you've already worked out the details and the script -- perhaps there's a side role for me involved somewhere?" Despite having been the unchallenged, single authority in Inimicus for the past eight years, Artabanos had never had the chance to appear on big film screens, which had, nevertheless, been one of His major ambitions since childhood. Stuff just kept getting in the way. Stuff, or people. "The fact you sort of got dragged into politics is really intriguing to me -- I guess my path was quite the opposite! -- how did you manage the sudden change in career and responsibilities? I'm guessing it must've been quite the shock!"
There had been no shock when Artabanos had acceeded to the helm of the nation. No surprises, no getting used to things. He had known everyone inside the Palace, probably better than they knew themselves. He had planned what would happen for months -- no, for years. Good planning is 80% of the work done, Emperor William had once told Him -- a shame, and an ironic shame, that William had not prepared in the slightest for the things Artabanos had done to him. The Emperor stopped daydreaming, refilled Reiserová's wine glass, and continued.
"I guess we've had our fair share of unexpected shifts in power in Inimicus too. I'm sure you'll remember that Emperor William, the founder of our Empire, was nearly assassinated by Jeff Speller using green soap, and was then really assassinated by some undefined grouping back in 2013." -- the undefined grouping being, of course, attractive young men Artabanos had hired -- "Then Emperor Hugh - the one with the massive forehead - started being really mean to everyone and fate decided to punish him with a nasty case of bowel disease, so he abdicated." -- it did help that Hugh's personal physician at the time was in Artabanos's pocket. Bowel disease generally does not mean being incapacitated in a wheelchair, but the right mixture of fake medicine does. "And, well, the rest is history! To be sure, even during My reign, we've had some difficulties. You know the Deputy Speaker of the European Council, old Nick Benfield? He once threatened to depose Me. I was going to jail him for life, but then I saw he dots his i's with a little heart, so I just couldn't, you know? And now, now we've been prospering and stable for many, many years. People are content." -- and quiet. Quiet above all.
"Ah, yes. Reitzmag and Simon have just... I don't know, they're always in the wrong place, at the wrong time, saying the wrong things. It all started when I went to see Jesus back in 2020 and signed a defensive pact, and Simon just raised his whole nation's alert level for no reason. Then there was Simon building illegal islands in the Caspian which really ground my gears, and him insisting they weren't for military purposes when he got caught. What was public opinion like on that in Czech Slavia, by the way? I'd love to know. Inimicians also looked quite sceptically to Simon's invasion and subsequent occupation of Istkalen, and the whole aggressive drama with Copala City that followed. He just doesn't act rationally or in the interest of others. He completely escalated the Adventuranza business by sending warships there, and I just thought, well, I don't want a war, so I had to withdraw. No use putting lives at risk over some whales and seashells."
Artabanos took a sip of His drink. Thinking of Simon Bridges always made Him immensely thirsty.
"Despite all that, we did actually negotiate with some of Simon's peeps over the last few weeks and we were hoping to achieve something. Then he goes and obliterates a mountain within a few hundred kilometres from Jesus's border without warning and builds an anti-Telum shield around his nation, so we had to pull out of talks."Artabanos stared outside. The sun was finally coming through the clouds, and after a few whiskies He always felt like going out. "Shall we take a stroll around the gardens? Some fresh air would do us good for sure!"
Heading outside, Artabanos continued: "Yes, Strathclyde is a peculiar type. Very effective though, very effective indeed. He's been single for as long as I've known him, and every time I bring this up he just says he's married to his job like some weirdo. Ah well, it is what it is, I suppose."
"Well, your labour laws sound much the same as what we've got going on here -- I'm sure that won't be a problem. Apart from resource exchange and Inimician companies setting up shop in Czech Slavia, I'd also be keen to get a type of formal rapproachment agreement going, if that's something you'd be interested in? We could, you know, say we don't hate one another, that we'll co-operate internationally from now on, that sort of stuff. The fact you're currently in talks with Mikaela about a possible defensive alliance would make this sensible given Inquista is a Telum Treaty member. What do you think?"
-
"You think so? Honestly I have not considered making a film about this topic, but now that you mentioned it, it would make sense and it would allow me to revisit acting yet provide me with new experience." Reiserová was very exited by the Emperor's proposition. Not only would it give her an opportunity to play a role she haven't yet played, but also to co-write and co-produce the whole film. In addiction to that, no high ranking party member could object to a the President portraying herself as many would do with other roles. "A side role? Well I don't see why not, but why not also feature in some Inimican film in a more prominent role? You know, always start with a big step, that's so important in any career really! Do you have any prior experience with acting. If not it would honour me to make some classes for you, if you want." she smiled and focused on the Emperor's eyes and concluded that he certainly has a look worthy of a film poster.
"Yes, completely dragged! And as you said it was a real shock, you know, a completely new environment, suddenly some things you used to do are viewed as inappropriate of your position, you constantly have to check what your ministers are doing,... it was hard... well it still is, but you should be grateful for all the difficulties. That is an example of a nice quote I like by the way.... Anyways, that is why I said that the transition for you probably felt more natural."
The Czech Head of State listened to Artabanos' words about his predecessors, occasionally nodding and touching her own heart at the mention of Nick Benfield doting with hearts instead of dots. She has heard only a little about the previous Inimican Emperors and what she has heard about Inimicus in general has usually not been positive prior to her holiday visit. Due to the degree of hostility from Inimicus, the Czech state media's coverage of the country has been usually negative.
On the contrary to Inimican government position Czech government didn't appreciate people being quiet. Mobilizing the masses was one of the most discussed and prioritized agendas of both the Socialist Republican Party and the Government of the Democratic Republic. While this has been true even before Reiserová was elected President, the effort was multiplied after it and political propaganda and politicization is almost omnipresent. It's present in the workplaces, in the streets, in schools or in entertainment. Quietness is viewed with suspicion as the government strives for support to be vocal and for masses to participate in politics.
"Oh, well I can get why that would ground your gears as you said, but for us, Reitzmag is distant and while you were talking about the islands we were going through all the trouble I talked about before, so to say we didn't really have an opinion would be an understatement really. Do you know what Reitzmag is best known in my country?" she chuckled "I am sure you heard of it, but around two years ago there was an assassination attempt in Reitzmag on the Reitzmic King after which Reitzmag issued an ultimatum to our country.... for whatever reason... demanding all sorts of things or we would "suffer the consequences". And since we rejected the ultimatum I suppose we must be suffering the consequences now. To this day Reitzmag has not apologized. And you have done well to withdraw the ships!"
Reiserová was happy to get back on her feet and walk outside for a bit and get the chance to see the gardens, so she eagerly agreed. "Maybe he just needs a break?" Reiserová asked about Strathclyde. "If he is interested he can come on holiday to Czech Slavia, maybe on some farm, to perhaps try out something new. Seeking new experiences is so important. Hey, perhaps you'd like to come too? It's calm, relaxing and you have adorable animals all around you!" Reiserová tried to sway Artabanos to exchange the comfort of his imperial palace for a farm which would require him to clean after the farm animals.
"If a rapprochement agreement is important for you, we can sign it. From our point of view it isn't necessary for us, since, you know, there is no deep conflict, but I leave it up to you." she put on her sunglasses, took a final sip of her wine and left the glass at the desk.
-
"Your shades are looking particularly fashionable today, Albina. You must send me a pair when you get back home", Artabanos said as the duo emerged from the Imperial Palace into the grounds. Surrounded by bright flowers, reflecting pools, and with the spring sun above, the Emperor took His own sunglasses from His chest pocket -- making sure to avoid the four hip flasks He always carred with Him these days -- and continued walking.
"They're not quite as good as yours, but they'll do", He joked, "Anyway, I'll wait for your producer's call then, shall I? I can't wait to star in Albina's Ascent -- you get that title idea for free, by the way. Just cite Me, or get Me tickets to the premiere. Or both. I don't really have any experience with acting I will admit. Well, not the formal type, anyway -- you know how it is though, us politicians always have some acting to do. I had to work undercover for several years which definitely brought out My acting side" -- not to mention the hundreds if not thousands of perfectly-staged press conferences, purges, Imperial Council sessions, interviews on His 'near death'.
Turning a corner around a wall of neatly-arranged shrubbery, the two heads of state were suddenly faced with an unfamiliar sight: Imperial Consul Simge Galanth conversing on a park bench with Diessenar refugee Nestor Karaman. "Oh!", exlaimed Artabanos, "Simge, Nestor; meet President for Life Albína Reiserová of Czech Slavia. Albína, meet Simge Galanth, my trusty Imperial Consul, and Nestor Karaman, who I'm sure you've heard of. He's quite the guy -- literally and figuratively."
"A true pleasure, Madam President", Karaman said, greeting the duo and casting a small yet conspicuous wink in the Emperor's direction. "We'll have to catch up sometime, perhaps once I've been installed as Pres--- eh, once eh, once I'm in eh, in a better spot than now." Artabanos could be seen smiling gleefully and looking back and forth between Albína and the others. "Well busters, we've got to be off -- I already exposed Albína to Christopher and Wilfred earlier and that must've been exhausting enough."
The two leaders for life walked on, passing the hedge sculpture of Himself that Artabanos had had installed in the gardens, flanked by equally imposing - though slightly smaller - statues of those killed in the Needletail One crash. Well, those He had not hated, that is, meaning there were only two other sculptures in the whole garden. "Ah yes, I had heard of these Reitzmic exploits, although you will appreciate that they occured when Inimicus was focused inwards, on its own healing, and so we did not interact with these things when they occured. Now, though, now that we are one again, we cannot accept such an aggressive force attempting to expand its influence southwards."
"Anyway, what sort of gripes does Czech Slavia have with its neighbours, if any? I'm guessing you're best buds with everyone around -- I mean, how could you not with such a warm personality."
"Ha! I'm sure Christopher would love a holiday to Czech Slavia", Artabanos laughed, imagining the stuffy old Consul dressed in anything other than the same old beige suits he seemed to prefer. "Even if he doesn't come, I would be over the moon to go. We could take Nestor with us, he's aching to go out somewhere. What are some of the main tourist hotspots in your nation? Actually, scratch that. Where do you go on holiday? If you want to disclose such highly classified information, of course..."
-
"Aw thank you! But yours suit you very well!" Reiserová reassured the Emperor "Absolutely, you know I will have to discuss these things with my Minister of Culture first and so on, but I'll make sure we will get in touch. And such a good name idea. You know, I'll consider it." She nodded in agreement with the last part "I absolutely get that, that is why I said every politician could benefit from some acting classes." The President for Life then took her time admiring the gardens of the Imperial Palace. "Are the gardens open to public? All the ones in Prague Castle are."
Reiserová has heard of Nestor Karaman from North Diessen and has seen his face in the press, but now seeking him in person she had to admit how handsome the Diessenar journalist was. "The pleasure is all mine!" she responded and shook hands with both before Artabanos has led her away. "Horrible things happening in North Diessen, right?" she commented while walking further with the Emperor "What is your interpretation of the current events there, how do you explain that they could have happened?" she asked. In the official Czech narrative the entire Inimican military operation has been called a failure that only provoked the rebel forces to strike at the Presidential residence, and the Inimican forces failed to prevent this strike. The current events only led the state-run press to once again proclaim the position of former Premier Commissioner Číkarová as correct.
Reiserová stopped to look at the statues in the gardens. She was too focused on looking at them and the rest of the garden to hear most of the Artabanos' word but her attention was however very quickly caught by him mentioning self-healing "Yes! Self-healing is so important! It requires so much time but you can never neglect that, so it is crucial that one always makes up enough time for it." she completely drifted the topic from the state of Inimicus to personal issues.
She touched her heart at Artabanos' comments about her personality "Thank you, that means a lot! Indeed I wouldn't say we have any gripes with our neighbours. You know, we try to maintain friendly relations with everybody, peace is also very important, just like self-healing and so we do everything to keep it. Oh, that reminds me of something. Your guards will let me back in your office right? I'll be right back!" she said before hurrying in the direction of the Imperial Palace.
After few minutes have passed the waiting Emperor could once again spot her, carrying a painting as a gift for him. "I brought a small present for you." she explained, while handing him the painting.
Painting that President Reiserová gave to Emperor Artabanos"Both doves have to stay close for the little chick to be born and prosper. Regardless of the difficulties that may, and will, arise. It is a duty for both of us to the future generations." she explained the meaning of the painting. "Do you have any place where I could get some water?" she asked, needing to rehydrate after running to the palace and back to the Emperor.
"Yes! You know, if you'll give me the necessary information on both you and Mr. Strathclyde and Mr. Karaman I will have farming clothes made just for you. Be sure to come in the summer, so we can visit some of the Inimican companies that will be established in Czech Slavia by that time! Of course besides the capital itself there are many castles and churches to visit, a small church in Kutná Hora with interior made entirely of human bones for example! Or you can go up in the mountains, if you like that and climb to the top of Sněžka, our highest mountain. Now personally I love mountains, always gives you time to reflect while you are going to the top, and you know, the views are phenomenal, so that is where I usually go for a holiday inside my country. Outside of it I again mostly visit mountains, recently I've been to Mennrimiak and Ruthund, both great experiences. And what about you? Do you prefer the mountains, or the sea, or something else? We don't have access to sea, but if you like swimming a lake might satisfy you?"
Reiserová once again looked across the garden and let out a satisfied sigh. "Well it was really nice meeting you, I can't wait to welcome you in the Democratic Republic in the future. But I think from my side, I said what I needed to say. So unless you have something to add, we can move to sign that declaration you wanted. You know, if you still want that of course."
-
President Reiserová's painting touched Artabanos deeply, although He was slightly surprised by her sudden intention to head home. "The weather has been on our side today, hasn't it? I'm sure people will be lining the streets when you head back to the airport. I do generally make sure they don't line these gardens, though. One needs privacy somewhere, right? Especially these days, with so many awful things happening all over the place." Artabanos was painfully aware of Reiserová's government's narrative on the events in North Diessen, and how hard it would be to change this narrative.
"The way we see things in our northern neighbour state is quite simple, really. We are allies in a military partnership, and our ally was attacked by internal elements, prompting us to step in and aid them. We helped, we aided, and we resolved this rebellion. However, that gave us certain responsibilities -- we are not an international police force that arrests a suspect and then lets him go the following morning. We made ourselves responsible for the situation in North Diessen, and we must see to it that their democratic order is restored. Between you and me, I also really just like everything about Diessen. The food, the drink -- especially their whiskies -- the people -- especially the men -- everything about it is just so cute. You should visit sometime, and perhaps I can accompany you?"
Artabanos graciously accepted the gift of friendship offered by Reiserová. "So uh", He began, attempting to formulate His thoughts in the least offensive manner possible, "The two doves laid the egg of friendship, I presume? Very touching. I shall have this put up in my office as a timely reminder of this wonderful meeting. I'm afraid I lack the artistic knack to return a lovely gift like this -- but one thing I do rather well is the drafting of legalese text, perhaps we can return to my office to finalise and sign our agreements?" And to have another drink. Of course.
Having obtained said drinks and once again surrounded by aides and staffers, Emperor Artabanos put the following agreement to Reiserová:
Treaty of Peace and Friendship
Between the Governments of the Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia and the Empire of Inimicus
Signed at Telum, 16th February 2022
PREAMBLE: the Government of the Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia and the Imperial Government of the Empire of Inimicus, united in their common goal for peace and friendly relations with all States, declare and approve this declaration for the mutual benefit of both nations and peoples.
Section 1 -- Rapprochement
- The undersigned governments agree to create a culture of mutual co-operation and harmony between their nations and peoples.
- The undersigned governments agree to co-operate closely on the international and supranational levels, including but not limited to co-operation in the European Union.
Section 2 -- Economic Exchange
- The Government of the Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia agrees to eliminate any and all barriers, tariffs, and legal restrictions, for the transfer of agricultural goods to the Empire of Inimicus and the purchase of such goods by entities based in the Empire of Inimicus.
- The Imperial Government of the Empire of Inimicus shall provide to the Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia a substantial amount of raw bauxite ore, the quantity of which is to be determined at a later date.
- The Imperial Government of the Empire of Inimicus shall create and promote a new scheme or programme with the goal of encouraging investment and production settlement in the Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia by companies currently registered in the Empire of Inimicus. Particular economic sectors to which the Government of the Empire of Inimicus shall devote additional attention are:
a. Entertainment and retail;
b. Machine production;
c. Chemical industry;
d. Mining. - Undersigned governments shall strive to promote economic collaboration and the elimination of tariffs and barriers to joint economic enterprise.
"Does that seem agreeable at all?", Artabanos said after presenting Reiserová with the text, "I apologise for the rather silly and complicated wording, but one has to know these things when one's an Emperor, you know?"
-
Reiserová entusiasticky nodded at Artabanos' proposition of visit of North Diessen "Well alright, I'd love to visit North Diessen with you as a company! I mean, you know, if the place will be safe at that time. But I hope to welcome you, and any company you bring, in Czech Slavia before this visit!"
"Yes, that is the intention behind it. and now it falls on them, both of them, to take care of the egg, or it might shatter and the baby will never born. And then they must take care of the baby. Like it falls on us to maintain our friendly relations for the friendship between our states will not be born or. will die if we don't" she said simply with a smile when answering the question about two doves laying the egg. "And I am sure you'd make a marvelous painter! Everybody can be a great painter in our style." The extreme simplicity of the paintings was why Czech Slavia endorsed such paintings, in an effort to bring art closer to the people.
Reiserová waited for the agreement to be finalized, shortening the waiting by the wine provided. Once it was put before her, she put the glass down and begun reading. "Great, I find it very agreeable." she lifted her eyes from the document to look into the Emperor's eyes for a very brief moment after saying that before returning her gaze at the text. "I am almost ready to sign. You know, there is just the little issue of calling this Treaty a Friendship Treaty. I mean don't get me wrong we just tend to sing something called a "Friendship Treaty" after it has been proven that co-operation works... like you know, with Inquista we have signed such a Treaty only after co-operation was already established. How about...." Reiserová took the liberty to take her pen and cross out the word "friendship" in her copy of the text, writing in the word "co-operation" instead "this. This could work right? And, you know, if we both conclude, after some time, that co-operation is proceeding as planned in this document we can sign a Treaty called a "Treaty of Friendship". She smiled at her counterpart. "Oh also, while it isn't written here, and doesn't need to be, we will make sure to change the tone of reporting about Inimicus in the state-run media, we have done the same with Inquista." she nodded.
-
"Just between you and me", Artabanos whispered to Reiserová out of hearing of all the aides gathered in His office, "I'm planning to have Nesto--- I mean, the next President of North Diessen... organise a small party for some selected international guests when this new Canal opens, so that might provide us with a fantastic opportunity to hang out a bit more and see some of the Diessenar countryside too. Not to mention the men." He had it all planned out, and had done since October last year. His personal luxury yacht (provided it would not get impounded by yet another rebellious Diessenar state), lots of whisky, some of His chums from abroad, and they'd simply sail up and down the Canal to inaugurate its use.
Artabanos took His gold-encrusted fountain pen from His chest pocket (making sure to grab the pen rather than the two hip flasks He carried around, although the temptation was certainly there), and was about to strike the word 'friendship' from the Treaty title before Reiserová beat Him to it. "Perfect", He said, "And I very much appreciate your offer of moulding Czech media coverage ever so slightly -- I know how pesky journalists can be when they're completely not reined in. You'll see much the same in the next edition of Nuntius Inimici... Anyway, I think we've accomplished a lot today, Albina. To celebrate, and because all this gossip and walking around has made me thirsty, I propose a final drink before we part ways -- for now, that is. I'm sure we'll see each other again very soon, or at least I hope so."
"Oh!", exlaimed Artabanos just has He poured the last round of drinks, "We have completely forgotten about our joint photo op. I know we've had a few, but a quick picture couldn't hurt, right?" Before Reiserová could really object, the Emperor mustered a troop of journalists and reporters waiting outside and ushered them in, before posing for the official photographs with Reiserová.
"There we go, I think you can frame that one and put it up above your bed. Anyway, Albina, I think that concludes our business here today, doesn't it? I must say, it's been an absolutely amazing pleasure having you over, I've learned so much about Czech Slavia and yourself. You're welcome anytime, just give me a ring beforehand so I can, eh, well, clean up. And I hope to see you this summer for the Canal opening party, right?"
