Bishop, Please

[Icholasen]

Saint Romain, Federal Republic of Icholasen

Anne-Marie David, Interim President

The New Republic had been founded but hours before, but David wanted to ensure that it had a future. She invited Lallana, a strong ally of her party and her struggle for eco-socialism to the interim capital, Saint Romain.

David was inexperienced. She had only been running a small part of the country for 2 years, now she was expected to run a whole country ? She asked Lallana to see her for some advice on ensuring her new Republic thrived.

David prepared her notes in the Palace of the Dukes of Romain, the title Prince Tommy held. She was now using it as her official residence.

[Inquista]

Inquistan Councillor Office, Europolis

"What? Comrade Jirluchuz has died!?" Bishop Lallana's voice echoed across her office.

"Unfortunately. I've heard so from one of my mutuals on twitter dot com, so you know it's very reliable," one of Lallana's assistants confirmed.

"A terrible loss for the Revolution!" Lallana uttered while shaking her head in disbelief. While Lallana did not necessarily approve of Jirluchuz's specific approach towards building communism, she greatly admired his massive contribution and leadership in re-establishing socialism within the UNSR. Moreover, Jirluchuz permitted Lallana to televangelise Communist Orthodox God freely on Nicoleizian airwaves, and she was forever thankful for that.

While Lallana had great respect for Jirluchuz himself, she had much less respect for his daughter, Meghan, who Lallana had exchanged choice words with on multiple occasions on Nicoleizian TV. Nevertheless, Lallana decided to extend an olive branch and sent her a consoling text message.

Meghan, sorry to hear about YOUR father. It must be so hard for YOU. Nobody can imagine what YOU must be going through, but know that we all loved YOUR father. YOUR dad was a great man.

After sending the message, Lallana's phone rang. It was Anne-Marie David, who had now declared herself as Interim President of the New Republic. "Anne Marie, girl, you guys are in a crisis, I'm on my way," Lallana assured her.

Lallana slammed her fists on her table after hanging up on the phone. "Why am I finding out just now that the South of Icholasen has seceded? I had to learn this from the new President herself?" the Bishop bellowed at her staff.

"I'm seeing some TikToks about it now. Forwarding them to you. This Cécile Laucre fancam is so fire," one of Lallana's aides chimed in.

"With Jirluchuz gone, those will be some big 'chuz to fill, eh?" another assistant joked with a smile.

Lallana furrowed her brows and pointed at the smiling assistant. "You're fired! Not because of that terrible and insensitive joke, but because you're incompetent and lazy," Lallana commanded, making an example of him.

"Alright, pack my bags for Romain, I need to catch a flight immediately!"

---

Palace of the Dukes of Romain, Icholasen

Bishop Lallana sat across from Interim President Anne-Marie David. While Lallana was a fervent supporter of the Communist Party of Icholasen, she completely aligned herself with he AEN faction of the party that shard her eco-socialist views, such as the likes of Anne-Marie David and Carole Baskin, and so she made natural bedfellows with this newfound New Republic.

"Have you heard anything about Carole? If they say she's missing like her husband, don't believe a word about it," Lallana worried.

"We have to make sure that you stay safe and that this Republic stays alive. That's the first order of business! Cécile Laucre will try to use whatever Nicova connections that remain in the South against you. You need to root them out and establish your own counter-security."

Lallana took out a sheet of paper and examined it with a tense and fearful expression. "This might be dangerous... I don't want to open's pandora's boxx that roxx, but this is a matter of survival."

The Bishop then revealed a large photo of Paloma Faith and pushed the photo towards the Interim President. "She could lead the counter-security and eliminate whatever enemies need to be taken care of."

[Icholasen]

"We still have no news from Carole. We expect that Laucre will bring about the formal banning of the AÉN and the persecution of anyone who believed in our project. We are already seeing the fleeing of refugees to the south. A humanitarian crisis is brewing.

But they will also rip up all our environmental standards. And allthat we have worked for to protect the nature of our land,. We can now only protect the trees and creatures in our southern half of the nation." Anne-Marie David looked sad, but still determined.

"We are going to call for troops of our allies to come and garrison here to protect our security. But you're right, the threat of the Nicova looms very large."

Anne-Marie David looked at the photo of Paloma. Would she make it to the judges houses ?

"I see what you're saying. We must somehow get into contact with her."

She ordered her auxiliaries to try and contact her, but they had no luck.

Suddenly, a homeless man came in the door.

"Oh my goodness," said Anne-Marie, the committed fighter for the poor. "Let us get you some soup, some tea !"

"Oh... I'm not a homeless person, this is just how I look." Said Hozier.

"Oh.. Okay." Anne-Marie David replied.

"I hear you want to find Faith."

"Yes ! Yes we do."

"I can... take you to Church." He chuckled. "No I'm just joking. I can get you to Paloma. She is in her panic room right now, so we'd need to go physically, if you want to catch her as soon as possible."

Anne-Marie David looked at the Bishop. The concern in her eyes made her realise that there wasn't a second to spare to find Paloma Faith, the most hardened espionage mastermind in Icholasen.

They boarded the presidential helicopter, Armée de l'Air 5 (the first 4 were given to the UNSR in the negotiations).

After about 2 hours in the air they landed in an area in rural Rujonau, not far from the demarcation line. There, was an elegant mansion that had been allowed to fall into disrepair, or so it seemed.

The helicopter landed in the garden behind the house, and they walked up to one of the many oak doors.

Hozier knocked to the rhythm of Paloma's hit song, Only Love Can Hurt Like This, and waited. The door was opened by one of the members of Sexion d'Assaut, the bodyguards of Her Eurovoiceness.

"She 'asn't come oot of 'er 'ideaway." The most burly member said.

"Okay, well, can you get her out ? The situation has calmed." Hozier said.

"I 'ave told 'er, but she won't come oot."

"Let me talk to her." Anne-Marie David said. She had risen to fame having won a Nicoleizian singing contest. Surely that counted for something with Paloma.

She gazed through the metre thick glass, waved, and beckoned for Paloma to come out.

She did.

"So what do you want from me, ladies ?"

[Inquista]

"Thanks for allowing us to come. I know it's a very dangerous time right now, but that's why we need to see you. With the situation going on right now, the New Republic is at risk of becoming..." Bishop Lallana explained, pausing for a moment, "... a one-hit wonder."

Lallana shook her head and allowed her words to sink in to the various Nicoleizian Eurovoice artists surrounding her.

"That would be a great tragedy, of course. The former Nicoleizian states did not fully appreciate the great talents and contributions that the Ministry of Eurovoice provided. The New Republic would offer you a new home, not just as a ministry, but also as the country's secret intelligence. You, Ms. Faith, would be the head of the New Republic's secret intelligence, with full reign."

The Bishop did not condone underhanded espionage, but she realised that certain situations called for more desperate measures. In order to further entice Paloma Faith, Lallana had to provide an offer she could not refuse.

"As you know, Mitski has been on the run, evading your justice. However, she was recently captured and transferred to a new cell in Saint Regina. If you accepted this offer, she would be at your mercy, and of course, if anything would happen to her... none of us would speak a word."

[Icholasen]

"Your holiness." Her eurovoiceness said, descending from the steps of the panic room in a sultry manner. "There is unfortunately one problem with this plan. I enjoy poaching talent from all of Icholasen. If I actively started killing the communist singers, then I would have no one left to play for my team."

She hesitated... "willingly."

A light switched in Paloma's head. "I can still poach talent if I run the new spy agency..."

"I accept your proposal."

[Inquista]

"Good. Her people will be in contact with your people," Lallana remarked while gesturing to Anne-Marie.

The Bishop then turned and walked with the Interim President back through the garden, past the mansion and to the road. Lallana suddenly realised that they were in the middle of nowhere, and she had no idea where to go. The Bishop spun around and then marched to the front door of the mansion, let herself in, explored the first floor until she found the kitchen, and then helped herself to the kettle.

" As long as landlords remain abolished, this is still the people's property as far as I'm concerned."

Lallana came out with the tea and placed it on a table, where she continued to make preparations with Anne-Marie.

"Just have three lists given to Paloma. One with people to protect, one with people to keep an eye on, and one with people that just need to 'go on holiday' or something. That's internal security sorted, now to external security.

The only other imminent threat is if the UNSR breaks the agreement and tries to reclaim the New Republic. They're probably organizing their army for that as we speak. The UNSR has one weakness, and that's the fact that it's diplomatically isolated. If the New Republic can win a lot of recognition and support, especially from nuclear powers, then you'll be hard to touch unless the UNSR wants to risk nuclear war with other countries.

The New Republic needs to make it evident that Free Icholasen is a total flop and that the New Republic is the only force that can challenge the UNSR. Free Icholasen? Nobody knows her. If the New Republic can win protection from nuclear countries like Spain and Inimicus, it'll win you some cover while you build up your own military.

I will try to lobby for you in Inquista, but I don't think the Archbishop will budge as long as Anastasia claims to be Queen. One of the great triumphs of the People's Revolution was getting rid of that family, so I don't think you should entertain making alliances with those bourgeoisie vermin."

[Icholasen]

Anne-Marie noted down what the Bishop said about the lists.

"Yes, I will be working on establishing our diplomatic presence. I will certainly be talking to the Spanish and the Inimicians." Anne-Marie paused. "I think the north will retreat for a while. I know Cécile. She will be working on consolidating her power at home before she starts worrying about us."

"The Romanovs won't be back - the border force will be sure of that. The ban is maintained."

"Should I go to Europolis ? I hear they have a Starbucks. I haven't had one in so long - communism." She gave a look to suggest that this was relatable to the Bishop, though it almost certainly wasn't.

"Is there anything else I should know ? If not we could get dairy-free coffee..."

[Inquista]

"Oh good, we can always count on the Nicoleizian border force to be loyal patriots. Speaking of which, now would be an opportune time to bring back Nicoleizian Border Patrol to television. Europeans across the continent have been missing the show since the UNSR was founded. It could make some good propaganda.

Europolis has a great Starbucks. Admittedly, I don't visit it very often because there's always some class traitors there who heckle me and tell me to 'go somewhere else because communism means no Starbucks'. One time I took out my phone to record them being rude to me, but one of them slapped my phone out of my hand and told me that 'communism means no iPhone.'

Anyway, visiting Europolis is a must. Since the EU has moved to recognise the UNSR, it will only make sense that the New Republic also becomes a member. The New Republic is a separate entity in its own right, and you have an agreement with the UNSR recognising this fact, so you shouldn't have any legal challenges."

The Bishop's Apple Watch began to beep and she quickly studied what the fuss was about.

"Oh, I have some sort of meeting about the Council's discussion on the European Space Agency or whatever. That can wait. How about this, you can catch a flight with me to Europolis, and then once you have all the information you need, you can return back home? Here, let's go."

Lallana led Anne-Marie out of the mansion before Mary Lambert suddenly appeared before them, offering them a ride back to Saint Regina on a helicopter. "Please don't change, even if you tried," Lallana thanked Mary.

Once back in Saint Regina, the pair caught a flight to Europolis.

---

Starbucks, Europolis

"Two lattes with oat milk please," the Bishop ordered while smiling at the barista.

"What size?"

"Oh, just regular."

"Regular?" the barista asked, apparently confused.

"Like a medium, I guess?"

The barista then began to laugh. "Medium?"

"Yes, two medium lattes with oat milk."

A rupture of laughter erupted from behind the coffee shop counter. The barista pointed at Lallana and Anne-Marie, barely mustering words inbetween her laughter. "Look at them! They're ordering 'mediums'! Mediums, instead of grandes!"

All the workers in the Starbucks laughed in unison, pointing at the two and howling at their very apparent and completely idiotic folly. Even other customers at the Starbucks joined in the laughter. The woman behind the two in line knelt down to her child and explained to her daughter, "This is why school is important, sweetie. You don't want to be like them and ask for a medium at a Starbucks, when it's very obviously a grande."

Lallana pleaded to the barista to complete her order. "Ok, ok, messaged received. Two grande oat milk lattes, please."

"Name?" the barista quizzed.

"Karinn."

"Hah! Ok, Karen."

"No, it's Ka-rinnn" Lallana explained while overly annunciating her name.

The barista took the order, and in a short while, the two received their lactose-free lattes which had 'Corrinne' written on them.

"Honestly, they got it closer this time than the last time," the Bishop sighed in defeat. Lallana took a sip of her drink and raised an eyebrow in approval.

"Let's head to my office at the European Council. I set up a special meeting while we were on our flight."

---

Inquistan Councillor's Office

As the two walked into Lallana's office, it appeared as if the entire room was completely cleared out and a large stage was erected in the middle of the room. A judging panel was set up across from the stage, where Elvira Lovescome was eagerly awaiting them.

The Bishop waved at her enthusiastically before she and Anne-Marie joined her at the judge's table. "I hope you don't mind me inviting Elvira to join us, to add more perspective. Elvira always has so much to say and contribute," Lallana explained.

"When the New Republic joins the European Union, you'll need a European councillor. My staff have already shortlisted the list of eligible candidates, who we'll judge today," Lallana laid out under her breath while a spotlight focused itself on the stage.

"Will all the candidates please come forward, introduce yourselves, and provide a short 60 second performance demonstrating your talents," the Bishop announced out loud.

[Icholasen]

It seemed no one had come to the casting call.

"Well this is unfortunate." Anne-Marie David said.

"While we're here..." said Elvira Lovescome. "Why don't you just name me Councillor ? I could do a great job."

"Go on then. If that is all, Your Holiness, I shall be on my way back to Saint Romain to keep the New Republic going. God Bless." She saluted.