Best posts made by Icholasen

SPECIAL ELECTIONS IN THE UNSR:

These coming elections are to the UNSR's upper house, the Assembly of Nationalities. Inn the last elections, the TANKIES faction secured a majority with 22 seats and the AEN faction got 18 seats. Each seat in this Assembly is supposed to have 2 seats and the 2021 special elections are electing the 2nd seats for the 40 Assembly of Nationalities constituency areas.

If the AEN wrested control of this chamber they would hold significant power as they would hold 2/3 of the branches of government.

Stephanie DeVey spoke to AEN candidate for Sederloau, Laura Francesca.

"You would have to win 23 seats this time to secure an overall majority, when just last year you only secured 18. What makes you think that this is possible ?"

"Well a lot has changed since then. People are living with AEN Presidents of their Republic, and I think people are seeing the work that can be achieved if we put our mind to it. I think they want that from their national government, too."

"If you don't manage to secure this, what do you think the future of the UNSR will look like ?"

"Well, I can't bear to think of it really. I want to see our communism evolve to be green, egalitarian, and decentralised. I want workers communes in the countryside where they smoke pot and listen to Grimes."

"What if those workers chose to listen to someone like, say, Carlos ?"

"Then they simply wouldn't be allowed in the commune, Stephanie. They would have to trample home, in a LSD induced fever dream, if they dared play that godawful music."

"Thank you for your insight. Now, onto international relations. Korojaunu Sanders is meeting the President of Fremet today, do you think he has what it takes to secure a good deal for Icholasen ?"

"There are many areas where the Korojaunu and I agree, he wants us to reintegrate into the European Union, unlike some of his colleagues. I think when you vote for the AEN you know what you're getting. When you vote for the TANKIES, they could have any number of positions on the European Union. It's just a mess."

"And finally, what are your thoughts on dairy legalisation ?"

"I'm all for drugs being legalised, but I am of the view that dairy produces too much carbon dioxide to ethically consume. I have grown accustomed to oat milk now - I love it it's great."

"Thank you for your time. That was Stephanie DeVey from Cesae Vauvra."

While this was going on, Carlos and Tommy returned to their respective dressing rooms to get ready.

Tommy was getting ready with Anastasia... they then broke into the song : Slipping Through My Fingers, from the Hit Musical, Mamma Mia.

"Anastasia, will you..." Tommy said, "will you... give me away ?"

"Yeah..." Anastasia said, and they resumed their song.

Statement by Her Royal Highness Queen Anastasia II

I will wait 72 hours for devolution to be restored to Copala City and the Maxwells charges dropped, or I will engage in divorce proceedings with the Reitzmic guy I married, whatever his name was.

Unfortunately, as a royal, one seldom marries for love. This was a decision to keep my people safe and sound, and to restore Copala City and New Moreland's agreed powers in that treaty we all signed.

Bless up, have a great day everyone. I'll be at the Romanov Bar and Grill.

After releasing her statement, Anastasia was playing fortnite with her 7 year old triplets, when she had an idea. She had given an ultimatum to her husband of a few weeks to restore the devolution of Copala City or pursue divorce. Anastasia, however, as head of the Church of Icholasen wouldn't really fathom divorce. It was like a cardinal sin or something. That is totally NOT like canonically and correct with the guy upstairs. She began to snapchat Prince Tommy.

After that fruitful discussion with Tommy, she endeavoured to go and talk to the groundskeeper. However, a Fortnite victory royale was calling, and her 7 year old children needed help - Tomato Town had been wiped out and they had to fight back. Poison would have to wait .... for now.

Piane Daggot uses hologram technology to beam an image of herself to Tromsø in Fremet

'Fremetians !' Daggot said, enthused. 'This island has a proud history, and I am so proud of where Fremet is today. I am also proud of Bernie Sanders and our government for finally acknowledging the role our nation had in some of the worst atrocities of this island. I will say again, we are sorry. The European Union has the potential to be an organisation that ensures this never happens again, but I need your help to make that happen. The European Union has increasingly tried to marginalise the UNSR, going against its own constitution which states that any nations may join. As Sanders visit shows, the UNSR wants peace. But unfortunately the current EU administration and EPA are denying it that chance. The UNSR wants to cooperate across these islands. But this is currently encumbered by the EU. This does not mean that this can never change - if you elect me as your Internal Affairs Commissioner, it will send a strong message that the people of Fremet - arguably the most affected people by this continued belligerent policy, do not approve. I sincerely hope you use the opportunity of your vote as a vote for peace and cooperation.

But it isn't just about foreign policy. I want to see legislation to mandate worker representation on boards across Europe, so that Fremet's system where workers are prioritised is not disadvantaged by nations where this is not the case. I want to see less funding for bloated and irrelevant projects, and more funding for projects that help local and sustainable manufacturing like in furniture, for example.' She winked obviously. 'One of my policies to do this, is to divert funding from the ESA and directly into the hands of sustainable homegrown industries to make sure well paid jobs are maintained, and we reduce the CO2 emissions that come from shipping goods. It is imperative we get value for European taxpayers, and also improve lives in Europe and make a difference.

I will now take any questions from the press.’

From SR1: 'With the signing of the Treaty of Finisterre, the rise of the Telum Pact, and ongoing negotiations in Mennrimiak, how would you approach growing economic pacts forming outside the purview of the European Union?’

‘I believe nations have the sovereignty and thus the right to do this. I think the participation in economic globalisation must be the choice of groups of member states to partake in, it should not be forced on members. Individual nations are free to do what they please.'

From NRK: 'Will you be endorsing a candidate for the Premiership?’

'Absolutely, I wholeheartedly endorse Sofie Čikarová for the Premiership. She is fierce and a legend. Sofierce has my vote !

From Die Zeit: 'How would your environmental objectives affect the Fremetian hydroponics and high-density farming industry?'

'I strongly believe nations should be able to choose how they farm. My policies on climate won’t seek to limit or ban certain countries’ practises, like some of my interlocutors. Rather, I would propose to give nations the tools to help them transition away from any practises they sought to move away from. The key element is choice. In a net 0 society, there will still be polluting elements and some practises we just cannot live without. I would like European countries to have the utmost agency in these hard decisions. It isn’t for Europe to make those choices for countries and impose arbitrary rules that are certainly not one size fits all. But, the EU should offer way more support. Right now, the EU is paying for polluting rockets and the desecration of land and forests for space ports, paying for the mining of materials and fuels for useless rockets. Surely, we could use this money to pay for terrestrial pursuits like green industries right here in Fremet, instead of burning money. It’s time people saw a benefit from EU membership, rather than literally pie in the sky ideas from Biden et al.'

Ibiza, Spain, 2021

In their separate dressing rooms, Tommy and Carlos prepared for their wedding. They were styled by the finest designers from all over the continent, their work being displayed at this, one of the most high profile weddings of the year.

Carlos

(en español con subtítulos en inglés)

Carlos, in another wing of the hotel, gathered his Spanish and other compatriots. Carlos slipped into his fancy shorts, relatively fancy Hawai'ian shirt, and leather slides. He then began to wonder what his fiancé was up to, what he was doing in his room. Carlos had invited his colleagues from the ministry of Eurovoice to join him, including his Best Man, Paloma Faith.

"So, Carlos" said Paloma, "does this marriage mean you'll never retry Eurovoice ?"

"Si, I think after I get married and have a few niños and niñas, I will not have time to make music anymore."

"That's a shame, I might have to get Taylor to reprise her mass produced trash."

"Hey, I heard that." Taylor said.

"Shut up, Taylor." everyone said.

Tommy

Their choice of Ibiza was obvious, the weather this time of year, in July, was beautiful. Tommy looked out of the window of the large hotel at the beach just outside. The blue waves crashed upon the white hot sand. It was going to be a beach wedding, with the guests then attending a reception still on the beach. Swimwear was optional. He looked at the full hog roasting over the fire, and couldn't wait to have some of it.

He had already gotten dressed, it wasn't really a struggle to get into a suit. He was just sitting around at this point, on his phone, sipping champagne. The girls in the hotel room were all talking about the day ahead, but Tommy couldn't help having doubts.

He had been the party boy, famous for his use of class A drugs and wild lifestyle. Now he was getting married ? What had happened ? Was he ready to enter true monogamy, there was no way to turn back... except divorce, or annulment.

And, what of his relationship with God ? Divorce would ruin that cherished and strong relationship that he had. God said nothing against heroin, but he did say quite a lot about divorce. Probably.

Tommy beckoned to Mikaela to follow him to the bathroom. He shut the door and began to wash his hands.

"Mikaela, I don't know if I can go through with this."

Carole Baskin hosts a meeting of the UNSR's cooperative presidents at the Assembly of Workers

Both large and small cooperatives alike have gathered their (elected) presidents at the Assembly of Workers. Presidents such as NBC's president Élizabeth Martichoux (Icholasen's principal broadcasting agency), Jean Giroux, president of Susci, one of the big 5 supermarkets in Icholasen, and many more smaller ones.

The main theme of the summit was international trade, Baskin wants cooperatives to have more power in accepting investment from foreign companies or states. This bill would be the largest increase in the openness of the UNSR's economy since the revolution. It would permit investment, increased trade, and less regulation for cooperatives so long as they follow the rules about the limited wage difference ratio between employees of all levels, the power of employees to have plebiscites and elect their president, and the general principle of reducing CO2 and pollution of all kinds. Many in her own faction and the opposing faction disagree with her about this for various reasons. Let's take a look at the composition of the Assembly of Workers, the body which decides employment regulations among other things.

Around 286 AEN Assembly Members are die-hard Baskinites and will support her in whatever she does. However, around 151 are part of the more anarchist faction whose most extreme members want a return to a largely pre-industrial revolution society, with smaller factories, organic farming, and the return of green spaces. This second faction, headed by Misty Foxx (who in a surprise win became Majority Whip) will probably oppose an increase in trade with the rest of the world. They want carbon emissions lowered by any means necessary in order to prevent climate change, and of course more trade means more CO2.

However, Baskin has argued that there can be limits placed on some unnecessary trade so that it can be produced in the UNSR, while still increasing some services based trade. The UNSR is far from full employment, with a pre-revolution level of 16,8% - which, admittedly, was reducing under the reign of Whiteford. Baskin's plan, however, differs from that of Whiteford. Whiteford wanted to increase Icholasen's services industry, as the jobs lost to globalisation were not going to come back, she believed. This had some effect, but there was still an increase of productivity, without an increase in wages. Baskin wants more things to be built and made in Icholasen, rather than relying on imports.

This proposal has support among some TANKIES - the TANKIES are acutely aware of the effects of a European Union blockade on the UNSR, and are in agreement that more things need to be made on the island of Icholasen. This same thinking has triggered the use of public parks to grow vegetables and subsidies to encourage cooperatives' increased breeding of animals while Icholasen still has access to foreign grain. These animals will be able to be culled en masse and their meat frozen in the event of an EU blockade. In addition, the production of powdered eggs has been ramped up by the executive branch.

Stevie Nicks, speaking at the convention of cooperative presidents said the following;

'I am fully in favour of increasing production on the island of Icholasen - this will reduce Icholasen's CO2 emissions for transportation. It will also bring us closer to our goal of full employment, with people able to train to be able to have a practical benefit on their society. This is a great return to human society of old, collective ownership of basic and fundamental industries. It is also a welcome return to our world pre-globalisation, where most things that our people used were made right here on our island! What a concept. I know some in my faction will oppose this for not going far enough, but whilst there is still a large threat of invasion and suppression of our revolution, we must take all the wins we can.

With this win, we can continue to oppose the evil reforms planned by the TANKIES. Us in the AEN must stand together for that. As the 2021 Assembly of Nationalities election starts to heat up, this is what we must talk about. We must protect our civil liberties from the TANKIES, but also empower our cooperatives to ensure that our people are free at work too. I am so glad that the elected presidents of these cooperatives have come here today to share their ideas. I hope that we can re-orientate our economy to focus on people's health and the reduction of pollution, the reduction of unemployment to ensure everyone has a job that they can be proud of, and the democratisation of work.'

Cécile Laucre, Speaker of the Assembly of Nationalities agreed with the legislation in principal, but had serious concerns

Speaking at a press conference about Eastern Haane, Cécile was asked about this new bill.

'I think that the UNSR does need to increase its economic self dependence, and I like all TANKIES are in favour of cooperative ownership of most industries. However, nationalised industries are also owned in the common good, too. It's a trust. I'm glad to see we both have the priority of reducing unemployment, the state was always able to do that but Whiteford chose not to. She sold Icholasen down the river through globalism. Now, at least, the state is doing something to resolve this problem.

There are some ways in which this bill goes against communism, however. I don't think trading with capitalist corporations even if the workers consent is true communism. However, that was in their faction's manifesto and they won in that branch of government. I am glad that in the upper house we have a more orthodox approach.

I have spoken with Korojaunu Sanders about creating new mines/drills and opening old ones in order to increase Icholasen's already strong energy independence. We have natural gas, coal, and crude oil which means that our energy sector can continue to be independent. Me and Baskin have, however, agreed to start funding electric cars, seeing as our oil reserves are out in the open ocean and thus vulnerable.'

A reporter asks; 'Ms. Laucre, do you not think that we should be moving away from hydrocarbons and pollutants to prevent climate change?'

'I think that Nicoleizians and the UNSR is not to blame for most of climate change, I do believe in it, but we have been forced to use these sources of energy for the foreseeable future due to the danger of a blockade on us. I will be speaking with Baskin about the investment into existing and new renewable energy, like wind farms, but these will have to be on land due to the imperialist forces in rightful Nicoleizian waters.'

The vote in the Assembly of Workers was called that day, and after Misty Foxx's endorsement it was clear it would pass. The bill which gives more freedoms to cooperatives to trade with corporations and other states (provided they have the approval of the workers) means that the UNSR will be a much more open country to the world. Baskin hopes that she can rekindle the economic relationship that was forged with Inquista under Craticus, though that is increasingly unlikely under the Bishopric of Mikaela Kligenberg. Other economic partners that could be forged may come forward, but a potential Nicoleizian manufacturing boom is technically feasible. It is just up to nations and workers to negotiate on the price for the labour and goods. Will working as a collective and spending less on the bloated salaries of managers increase profit margins for foreign companies, or will the increased labour rights make it a nightmare?

The vote went as follows, with the AEN staying more unified than that TANKIES. Many TANKIES supported this bill just for the fact that it could help the UNSR's economic system survive. Many are much less concerned about strict adherence to theory at this very moment, since the UNSR is in a perilous position.

Queen Anastasia, Carlos and Prince Tommy

Queen Anastasia and Prince Tommy had been living in Ibiza for the last several months. It had been bliss - the weather was absolutely perfect. Of course, as September came, the heat on Ibiza had somewhat dampened - but it was still hot enough for both of them. A beach-side vacation had been just what they had needed. Since the revolution that had few boring royal engagements, like opening an orphanage - SNORE! Helping some schoolkids fund their new sports pitch - BORING!!! Encouraging some dying hospital patients to push through - DULL!!!!!! However, lazing by the sea was becoming boring, and they were all three ready for a party. A change of pace.

Anastasia and Tommy were getting ready in their quarters, as Tommy and Carlos were not yet married, they had to stay in separate quarters. Of course Tommy was as much of a virgin as a hooker from Trondheim, but they still had pretences to maintain, with this 40 year age-gap, homosexual and royal couple. Both Tommy and Anastasia had become rather tanned, their apartment in Ibiza being in prime position for both the beach and the pool that they shared with their Airbnb guests. They had rented it out to some Inquistan partiers, some Fremetian boomers and some Nicoleizian refugees with nowhere else to flee. Of course Anastasia had to kick these refugees out once they could no longer pay the fee.

'Tommy I have been given a secret mission, and I'd like you to help me with it.' Said Anastasia

'What is it ? I'm not running coke across the border again - you know I'm clean now.'

'No, no nothing like that. The government has instructed me that pea warfare is back on. Now, I really do not want to get pea-ed on.'

'I thought you were into tha--'

'No, who said that?'

'I'm staying silent. There's nothing wrong with that though, of course. Everyone has their things. Like me, I'm into Icholo-Spanish Eurovoice royalty who are 40 years my former. It's kind of niche though, so I'm lucky I found Carlos.' Tommy commented.

'You really are lucky you found Carlos, you couldn't have found a normal man, no one who wasn't both 40 years older than you and also obese would like you.'

'That's unfair - but also kind of true. But hey, at least none of my husbands are dead.'

'Those were very unfortunate accidents.'

'Uh, yeah.' Tommy said.

Just then, a knock came at the door. It was Carlos. 'Guys, we're gonna be late.'

'You can come in, babe.' Tommy said.

Carlos entered, wearing a Hawaiian shirt. 'Why are you wearing that?' Tommy said.

(OOC: There are no pictures of Carlos in a remotely appropriate outfit. Let me live.)

'Accept my lifestyle.' Carlos said. 'This shirt got me through Eurovoice -- you know how stressful it is to work with Paloma Faith. If I didn't come second, I could've died.'

'Don't keep spreading those baseless accusations.' Anastasia said, scolding him. 'Paloma is literally a Saint. She would never ever lay a finger on anyone. Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.'

'Um, okay.' Carlos said. 'Anyway, we're late. I can hear Mikaela's shrill voice down there, she's going to be mad if we don't get down there very soon.'

'Okay, but before we go, we simply must defend each other against any peas.'

Carlos and Tommy nodded in agreement.

'And if necessary, we can take to the offensive.' Anastasia retorted.

Eilidh Whiteford:

Eilidh 'Centrist' Whiteford was coming in from Europolis after finishing her term as Premier Commissioner. She was pleased that her colleagues were going to be here for a last hurrah after finishing her term. She was very proud of what was achieved during her time in office. Whiteford was rather square. She was never a party girl. Maybe the Nicoleizian delegation and Jean-Claude 'Alcoholic' Juncker would be able to bring her out of her centrist, square, plain-Jane shell. She was now the official Korojaunu of the United Dominions of Icholasen and as such it was a gathering of the key Nicoleizians. Wouldn't it be terrible if some communists came and tried to kill her and the royals? Absolutely! Let's hope that doesn't happen.

Whiteford touched down in Inimicus and made her way to the party. She saw Tommy, Carlos and Anastasia walking through the corridor, and they recognised each other and decided to walk in together. They walked in the room and saw some people she recognised that she wanted to meet, but first she curtseyed in front of His Imperial Majesty, Artabanos, and said; 'Pleased to meet you, I'm not sure if we've met before.' Anastasia and the others followed Whiteford's lead.

STEPHANIE DeVEY: Jean-Claude Juncker is one of the most controversial, well-known, and most influential members of the European Progressive Alliance, formerly lead by Edward Firoux. Jean-Claude, after serving two terms as Internal Affairs Commissioner, is now eyeing the position of Premier Commissioner. Among him also running are Sofie Čikarová and Dr. Iskiris Koline. I started by asking Juncker to summarise his programme in 3 words.

JCJ: Bring Europe back

SDV: Would you say the EPA brand has been tainted in the last few weeks and months ?

JCJ: The European Progressive Alliance brand isn't tainted and it has never been, but the discrepancies of some Councillors with the words of other Councillors from the same organisation are what made the situation slightly bad. Anyway, I trust Donald will do a nice job and will be able to rescue the EPA and bring most of our former members, like Speaker Michel, back into our group.

SDV: What would you say to people struggling with the effects of globalisation ?

JCJ: To those struggling, all I could tell them is Europe and its politicians are always here to help. If you realise, our world is changing incredibly fast and not even us are able to keep the same speed as globalisation. One of the challenges the European Union has, and despite being quite old, I will try to complete, is going faster that globalisation and adapt ourselves to the future challenges we will have.

SDV: Tell me why you are uniquely qualified for this position.

JCJ: I'm uniquely qualified for this position because I know what the European Union is about; I have been the Internal Affairs Commissioner for 8 months, achieving great things like the first mediation ever in the Caspian, the European Leaders' Summit, I proposed to create a mobile phone app to let the Europeans be informed about what's going on in Europolis and I have never prioritised my country or my own interests over the European Union's. Other cannot say the same. Also, if you look at the candidates running for Premiership, you have one who believes that Communism is the right choice for Europe and that will solve all our problems, and another who says the EU has no sense at all. Of course, their views are respectable and must be respected, but that's not what we need to fix the European Union. The only one carrying reasonable proposals, like the 2030 EU Strategy, a new budget or putting an end to shady companies that the EU funds, or at least, making them useful.

SDV: Ignoring the legislative hurdles, if you could change anything in Europe at the click of a button what would you change ?

JCJ: That's quite a good question, because there are many things I would like to change in Europe by just pushing a button. (Juncker laughs) But I think that our main priority when it comes to changing things should be the Constitution, and if at the click of a button we could all agree and change it to a better one, then that would be what I would change right now; and I'm pretty confident to get a new constitution going by the end of the first term or the start of a second one, if I'm re-elected.

SDV: You have identified the EU as being « a Broken Union », however, with the relatively limited powers of the Premier, how do you intend to fix this ?

JCJ: When I first ran for Internal Affairs, I was told the one who had more power in the European Union was the Premier Commissioner. Then I won the election and made the Internal Affairs Commissioner have the hugest amount of power, while the Premiership lost it. That means tendencies can be changed again, and we can go back to that time when the Premier was the most powerful seat. Still, I want to remark that I'm not running because I want power or things like that, I want to help Europe as much as I can and being active on the Commission and answering at the same time the events take place is what we should do. The Premier can do many things, you just need to have someone competent seated there.

SDV: And finally, who should the EU sanction, and how ?

JCJ: The EU shouldn't sanction anyone as of now, because it wouldn't be good for us. We need to stop looking at foreign states problems and start looking at our own problems first. You know I am not a fan of the UNSR, but I think mediation is the best way to end that conflict, same with Copala City, and that's what we will try to do. If some side says no to a mediation, they the whole of Europe will know who doesn't want to fix things and end the madness

SDV: Thank you very much for your time.

JCJ: Thank you.

Stephanie DeVey: Hello welcome to the search for Europe's next Premier Commissioner. We are here in the Stuart Premier Library in Europolis. Whiteford's reign has come to an end and it's time for new blood in the Commission - none of these candidates have ever been in the Commission before. From the left, we have Angela Merkel from the EPA, then Maria Cecilia Kerstin from the ELDR, we have Sofie Čikarová from the PEL, we have an independent candidate, Walter Cocx, and finally MEGA candidate Dragan Trympov. (airhorn) These candidates all want YOUR vote, so let's let them tell us why after I go over the format.

For the first 8 minutes we will be doing opening statements. These can be 2 minutes long (OOC: 300 words).

For the next part, candidates will have 2 minutes (OOC: 300 words) to address the stances that they declared in the pre-debate questionnaire after these are displayed graphically on the wall here in the Stuart Premier Library -- they will be able to tell us why these are the best policies for Europe. There will then be a free debate during this (OOC: 24 hour) period, with any candidate able to ask any other about their stance on these issues and why they think the way they do and any candidate can respond to another. (OOC: You can ask your question to another candidate in the same post as you write your statement)

Then, there will be personalised questions for the candidates and then general questions for all of the candidates. These will be submitted by Europeans and also thought up by myself as the debate evolves.

The candidates will then have the opportunity for a closing statement. Additionally, if a candidate is mentioned at any point in the debate, they will be allowed a 1 minute (OOC: 150 word) retort, which can be delivered after I say so. You cannot, however, retort a retort.

And so we have the people who want to have Europe's TOP job. Let's see why they think they're up for the job - candidates, you may now give us your 2 minutes (OOC: 300 word) opening statements. (OOC: You have until 12:55 PM BST on the 28th of August)

Paloma refused to leave.

"Listen, buddy. I am the Minister of Eurovoice. You do NOT tell me what to do. Me and all my Eurovoice colleagues, except Taylor, will stay in here. I am not smoking what you're smoking. Do not fucking tell me what to do, bitch."

Tommy hugged Mikaela back, and they both were holding back tears.

"I know what will help us," Tommy declared, "more champagne !"

They left the bathroom, and Anastasia poured everyone a glass of champagne - not prosecco. The Romanovs believed prosecco to be the lowest of the low of alcoholic beveraginos.

Tommy texted Mikaela, saying it was all going to be okay and the wedding was going ahead.

Stephanie DeVey: Hello and welcome back to the Premier's debate. We have had the opening statements from our candidates, and it is now time to look at where they stand on the issues. Stephanie gets out her powerpoint clicker. Let's take a look at where our candidates stand on the issues that matter to you. (OOC: I didn't get Kerstin's responses, though RL problems of course got in the way. I can add her choices if you want @Leagio but if not don't worry !)


Merkel: Left/right: 4 EU: 6
Čikarová: Left/right: 2 EU: 3
Cocx: Left/right 5 EU: 3
Trympov: Left/right: 8 EU: 3
Kerstin: Left/right: 4 EU: 5

Stephanie: Candidates now have 2 minutes (OOC: 300 words) to give a speech about why their stance on the issues is the best. Candidates can also ask one other candidate a question about their answers to the questions, but candidates are not obligated to respond. If I believe that an important question was avoided by a candidate, however, I might pick them up on it in the next round where I will be asking individual questions. Candidates are free to debate freely, but not going over 1 minute (OOC: 150 words) per statement.

OOC: You have until 13:12 PM on the 29th of August to make your statement - you can reply to someone's question to your candidate after the time has elapsed as I imagine some will be asked in the middle of the night. If there are mistakes in the chart let me know.

NB: The Bishop Lallana parts were written by @Inquista

Everyone was silenced, brought down to the beach, and the wedding ceremony could begin. Carlos stood at the altar, which was a foldable table with a Ibiza branded table-cloth.

(Inquista part)

Bishop Lallana raises her hands and gestures toward the congregation. “Welcome Comrades in Christ. Please be seated.”

“Thank you all for being here on this very special occasion, in celebration of what truly keeps us together: unions. Unions are the backbone of our societies, our economies, and of course, our families. It is only through unions that we, as individuals, realise our potential and worth, as a collective. We come here today, as a collective, in solidarity with the union of Prince Tommy and Carlos. Before we bear witness to this beautiful union, let us pray.”

“Lord, bless these hard-working members of the proletariat with love and hope we pray. Keep alive forever more the vows they will pledge today. May you bless them in their ability to work and be productive members of their homelands, and keep them always safe and on the path towards socialism. May peace and joy be with them now on this their wedding day. Awomen.”

“Dearly beloved members of the proletariat, blood-sucking members of the bourgeoisie, and class-traitor criminals, we are gathered here today in Marxist matrimony, to witness the union of Prince Tommy and Carlos. This is a union not to be taken lightly, and one that will require many 5-year plans to be met and fully realised. Marriage, much like patriotism to one’s class, is indeed an obligation. The grooms have each prepared their vows, which I ask that they read now. Tommy, Carlos.”

(ooc: my part 😎 )

Tommy started his vows :

"In the life of a homosexual addicted to cocaine, one gets few chances to love. But Carlos has given me -- Europe's biggest crackwhore -- a chance to love. A love that I aim to repay fully - both in blow, and the other type of blow -- bubbles.

Friends, gay Nicki Minaj personas called Roman.... fellow Countrymen, this marriage represents more than a love between two people with a huge age difference, but a love across the European Union -- we are different nationalities, but we are united.

Our marriage will end xenophobia."

(the crowd erupted to a thunderous applause at the news that xenophobia would soon perish)

"Carlos, te amo papi."

Carlos then started his vows:

"Tommy, you are the shrimp to my paella, the taco to my nachos, the bull to my animal cruelty; we are as inseparable as Catalonia and the rest of Spain, as England and the rest of Spain, as Greece and the rest of Spain, as New York and the rest of Spain -- you get the picture.

As a mediterranean, I know what passion is, and we have it. Like the rocks under the hot sun, we exude the fire of life.

I have had ups and downs in my career - losing Eurovoice by just one point. I know that through the ups and downs, the ins and outs, and the sides to sides, you will be there with me.

Tommy I am so happy to marry you."

(Inquista part)

“Tommy, do you take Carlos to be your eternally paramount husband? Do you promise to love, honour, cherish, and protect him as you would for your socialist Nicoleizian homeland, forsaking all others, and holding only unto him forevermore?"

"I do"

“Carlos, do you take Tommy to be your eternally paramount husband? Do you promise to love, honour, cherish, and protect him better than those who robbed you in EuroVoice, forsaking all others, and holding only unto him forevermore?"

"I do"

“Prince Tommy and Carlos will now exchange rings as symbols of their love and commitment to one another, and in celebration of the many Nicoleizian miners, smelters and ring smiths who are indispensable members of the working-class fabric of their nation."

“Tommy, please place the ring on Carlos’ left hand and repeat after me: I, Tommy, take you, Carlos, to be my eternally paramount husband, to love you forever on this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in revolution or in resistance, according to God and Marx’s Holy words, forever and always, xoxo gossip girl.”

"I, Tommy, take you, Carlos, to be my eternally paramount husband, to love you forever on this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in revolution or in resistance, according to God and Marx’s Holy words, forever and always, xoxo gossip girl." Tommy places the ring on Tommy's finger

“Carlos, please place the ring on Tommy’s left hand and repeat after me: I, Carlos, take you, Tommy, to be my eternally paramount husband, to love you forever on this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in revolution or in resistance, according to God and Marx’s Holy words, forever and always, xoxo chica chismosa.”

"I, Carlos, take you, Tommy, to be my eternally paramount husband, to love you forever on this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in revolution or in resistance, according to God and Marx’s Holy words, forever and always, xoxo chica chismosa." Carlos then places the ring on Tommy's finger.

“You may now kiss the groom.”

(kiss)

"Congratulations, you are now married. May your union be as prosperous, glorious and everlasting as the Union of Nicoleizian Socialist Republics.”

(OOC: Moi again)

The guests were then invited to eat the food on offer, to socialise and mingle, and to make use of the beach and its miscellaneous facilities.

Candidate Name: Piane Daggott
Home Nation: Icholasen, but for legal reasons, Czech Slavia
Office(s) sought: Internal Affairs Commissioner
Incumbent? (Y/N): N
Eurogroup Affiliation: PEL
Biography:

Piane Daggott has held numerous roles in the newly formed UNSR. She was part of the Ministry of the Interior, with a role in security. She was also heavily involved in planning for Operation Parva Coles and even fought on the Communist side. She offered military support to the communist rebels and the communist forces on the ground, fighting both the Ministry of Eurovoice forces and the forces attacking Reitzmag.

Despite her military and security background, Piane fundamentally believes in peace between nations. She was in the room when the UNSR negotiated a peace deal with Inquista, where Craticus and Jirluchuz talked it out. Despite not having a leading role in these discussions, she has learnt a great deal from her role at the top of the UNSR's government, and would be able to use these skills to work with other nations.

Piane was also in the Copala City Parliament until its operation was halted by the Reitzmic regime. She served as a Socialist Workers' Party MP for Copala Quay, and also a mayoral candidate receiving 7.85% of the vote in the 2020 election. Piane is therefore committed to democracy and the rule of law in governing how Europe works.

Thanks Touker.

I think my critique of Joe Biden, unfortunately stands. He has been in 3 parties over his long political life, and is now running as an independent. What does he truly stand for ? You tell me. I think Europe deserves a candidate with a bit more consistency than that.

As for the tone of the debate, I will always call out the EU's elite. They have endangered what is, at its essence, a good, moral project. The people around me want to destroy the Union. I want to reform it and make it work. I will do anything to keep Europe kicking, for the people - not for billionaires or for gravy train politicians.

Icholasen Bans The Sims 4

Harriet LeRauk (TANKIES-Manufacturing) put forward a bill banning The Sims 4. She, and others, outlined several reasons for this. 'The Sims 4 is a watered down cash grab with less gameplay features; no open world - where you could walk to or drive work, school or to community lots; it is not as good graphically as the Sims 3 -- which is superior due to its more realistic style; and the Sims 4's town are much smaller.' Harriet then got out an image of the new Sims 4 Town from an expansion pack, which costs the most out of all packs. It has 4 families. The Sims 3 base game town had 25. This is unacceptable.' LeRauk stated. 'This is why I propose this bill, banning the Sims 4 and pushing for a Socialist version of the Sims that captures life under Socialism, but in the meantime promoting the Sims 3 as the best sims game in the franchise.'

Baskin agreed with the law, stating that she thinks 'the Sims 4's gameplay is terrible. The sims look terrible, awful. They look like cartoons. I want realism in my game and the Sims 4 does not offer it to me. There is no create a style tool in the Sims 4 which is disgusting - why would they take it away after it was so good in the Sims 3? I want to make everything in my sims house leopard print. I cannot do that in the Sims 4, but I could in the Sims 3. A disgusting oversight. The gameplay, too, is awful. They tried to make it into a smaller game so that people on lower end PCs could run it, but that is no excuse for me. I have a deluxe leopard print gaming rig and if I want a massive, bloated game, I am entitled to that. The Bill passed both chambers and was signed into law by Korojaunu Sanders.

The Copala City Mayoral Elections are here. Copala City is a city of many refugees, Inquistan Orthodox, those who fled economic conditions in Icholasen and Czech Slavia, Reitzmic natives to the area, and all manner of other refugees from all over Europe, who flock to Copala City via Kelis Island as it is receiving HUGE investment from Inquista and many other EU nations via the legitimate (and still open!) Invest In Copala City programme.

Copala City has been a building site since April, but new cabins have been supplied by the Romanov Relief Fund, paid for by Queen Anastasia. These have central heating, more insulation, appliances, and can be converted for later use as proper homes. Of course, some are still put up in tents, but the city's building projects are coming along well, with the Romanov Bar and Grill now open!

The election is FPTP, so whoever has the most votes will win.

Application for Mayor (anyone can field a candidate, there are people in Copala City from all over the EU):

Photo:
Name:
Party (if any):
Description of ideology/appeal (eg, religion, social democrat, etc):
Colour requested (eg light blue):
Short bio:
Some policies they would enact if elected:

Darienne Lake: Hi y'all and welcome to the the Aug/Sep 2020 Internal Affairs Commissioner debate. I am here in the Europolis transport museum, standing in from of one of our Jumbo Jets so gracefully donated to the EU. Our 4 candidates are lined up here ready to tell you why you should vote for them. I'm now going to explain a bit about the rules and format for this debate.

For the first 8 minutes we will be doing opening statements. These can be 2 minutes long (OOC: 300 words).

For the next part, candidates will have 2 minutes (OOC: 300 words) to address the stances that they declared in the pre-debate questionnaire after these are displayed graphically on the wall here in the Europolis Transport Museum. There will then be a free debate during this (OOC: 24 hour) period, with any candidate able to ask any other about their stance on these issues and why they think the way they do and any candidate can respond to another. (OOC: You can ask your question to another candidate in the same post as you write your statement)

Then, there will be personalised questions for the candidates and then general questions for all of the candidates. These will be submitted by Europeans and also thought up by myself as the debate evolves.

The candidates will then have the opportunity for a closing statement. Additionally, if a candidate is mentioned at any point in the debate, they will be allowed a 1 minute (OOC: 150 word) retort, which can be delivered after I say so. You cannot, however, retort a retort. That'd be crazy, folks!

So, I would now like to ask the candidates to give us their 2 minutes (OOC: 300 word) opening statements. (OOC: You have until 12:45 PM BST on the 28th of August)