An Orthodox Approach to Diplomacy
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Becky Short-Hailey, Head of the Red Army
Bernie Sanders, Minister for Foreign Affairs.
Bernie Sanders began talking, pointing in all different directions. "Icholasen has no gripe with the people of Inquistah, Reitzmag, or of Gallorum. Our gripe is with the millionaihs and billionaihs who don't pay their faihre shahre in this world. Obviously, the people of Reitzmag had had enough of their abuse by the bourgeoisie and parasite-like monarchs and as such they wanted a new life, free from oppression. Is that something you all dislike? They just wanted economics rights and freedom from economic injustice. I don't suppose anyone here would understand what it's like to live paycheck to paycheck and struggle to pay for your damn healthcare! We are on track to eliminate parasitic landlords and others who prey on poorer people. What are your liberal democracies doing? Icholasen has much to be proud of in this saga, we supported legitimate rebels taking economic injustice into their own hands and we tried to stop Inquistah bombing innocent civilians in East Moreland. Icholasen has much to be proud of." Bernie said, cradling his aching arm from all the pointing.
Becky Short-Hailey began to talk. "The military situation has developed not necessarily to the communist rebels' advantage. But, we will continue to recognise them as the legitimate Reitzmic government and consider the delegation here only as the de facto government of the country. We would like to, of course, see them take a portion of Reitzmag's territory and have them be allowed to set up a legitimate government of the people there. We will provide help to the people of East Moreland and other Reitzmic people as they establish their new legitimate state. If this can't be agreed, we will listen to other opinions but we will find it hard to agree to anything without a two state solution. As for the return of the liberal government in Icholasen, I believe that that talk is offensive and if these outrageous propositions or others continue, we will leave."
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Adm. Anderson begins to talk while sat down as Becky Short-Hailey ends her speech.
Adm. Anderson: "I'm sorry Adm. Casabianca, but Inquista was not permitted to bomb the whole reich of E. Moreland. There were no instructions to destroy such place, they did such acts already when the communists surrendered. The instruction we gave was to aid in the organization of surrendering Communist Rebels."Anderson ends his defense as Farage stands begins to talk
Mr Farage: "Ms. Becky Short-Hailey, I'm surprised that you still remain to support brutal forces and recognize them as a government even though they surrendered. Their leader, Mr. Turgenev said when he unprecedentedly went to Parliament that he did not want the communists to start violence in the URR. This means that they recognize the monarchy and the legitimate government at parliament. Why would you support someone that already gave up?" -
"Right, I'll get straight to the point. There will be absolutely no withdrawal of Inquistan forces in Reiztmag until the government of Reitzmag pays significant reparations to Inquista.
"Inquista has shown tremendous good faith and compassion to the people of Reitzmag by answering their call to arms. Inquista risked its own men and women in order to aid Reitzmag in defeating its communist insurgency. Then, when King George was nearly assassinated by a communist villain, we once again risked our own lives and forces by rooting communism completely out of the country. Inquistans have done the state of Reitzmag an absolute favour, and we have saved the King from countless possible future assassination attempts.
"Inquista has given, given and given in this conflict in Reitzmag. And with what in return? Nothing. Apparently, now you Reitzmen want even more from us. We're not paying you for anything. In fact, you owe us. Not only do you owe us, but you owe the entire region of the European Union. The ineptitude of your government allowed the communist insurgents in Reitzmag to inspire communist fanatics across the region, which led to the communist coup in Icholasen. Now, we're siting here with Mr. Sanders and Mrs. Short-Hailey. No offense to either of you, by the way. All thanks to the government of Reitzmag. Whatever damages, particularly to bridges, which have been incurred in Icholasen, also need to be paid for by Reitzmag.
"Inquista has not only dealt with defeating communists within Reitzmag, but we're also now fighting communists in the air and keeping them outside of Reizic territory. Again, Inquista keeps giving and giving. So far, we've got nothing in return. The least the the government of Reitzmag could do is pay what they owe us."
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"Okay.....we got a fair variety of different responses out there.
Let's try to start the conversation on some less....controversial areas. I would like to see if everyone at this table would be open to the immediate and total exchange of whatever prisoner of wars they may possess, or any persons who may seek asylum in a more friendly state. Or you know any thoughts. Please let's not try to talk over each other as much, and substantiate any claims with evidence."
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Nigel stands up immediately.
Mr. Farage: "I would like to reach out to everyone that the URR is currently holding communist rebels that surrendered. We hope that they may be accepted at Icholasen in fair exchange for redevelopment of E. Moreland."
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Bishop Secretary Finsch shrugged. "I have it on good authority that all prisoners we managed to capture are now, apparently, in a better place."
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Bernie Sanders took the mic. "We are happy to take up that offer as long as East Moreland is an independent state controlled by those same communist rebels. Icholasen does not hold any hostages at this point as our campaign was just an air campaign against Inquistah."
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Nigel responds to Sanders immediately.
Mr. Farage: "I'm sorry, but E. Moreland will remain our reich controlled by the legitimate government, but we still welcome communists in our nation as long as they do not begin violence or start uprisings. They are welcome to the government to be elected, the URR is a free and democratic populace that elects its officials." -
"I have good word from Taoiseach Donaghue in Ireland that we could perhaps resettle some people who require asylum in Ireland," Foreign Minister Parly said to the assembled.
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"Gosh, for the amount of money talk in this room you would think we were in a Llanowar stock room," muttered Kristian.
"There seems to be the wish to tie the redevelopment of E. Moreland with pretty much everything else on the table. Here is what I propose, an International Committee on the Resettlement on Reitzmag Refugees to be either held in Vayinaod or Europolis. Any claims for refugees will be administratively processed here while the refugee remains as a neutral campsite outside of E. Moreland. Any communists captured by Reitzmag will be considered political asylum claimants unless a specific heinous crime is brought against an individual to be verified by this committee. It will be staffed by one Inquistan, one Reitzman, one Nicoleizian, one Gaulois chaired by a Vayinaodic judge who will service to break ties. Vayinaod will offer to pay the administrative fees of this committee for the first three years. This committee will also investigate to ensure no Prisoners of Wars are actually present.
Now to just get rid of the money question, I propose this. The East Moreland Redevelopment and Investment Trust be established. It will be managed by a neutral party to be stationed here in Nyetthem. It will work to provide loans, investments, and other capital offerings to people and businesses in E. Moreland. Each party at this conference will commit to providing 250 million dollars annually over the next two years. There will be a return on investment. The Government of Reitzmag and E. Moreland may apply for these loans and investments same as the civilian populace.
In return E. Moreland will be granted an autonomous status within Reitzmag to take a handle on its own politics more and have more control over its reconstruction. This autonomous status will be ensured by Vayinaodic observers in its democratic processes for the next five years. Reitzmag will also offer to pay 25% of the total cost of Inquistan operations that took place before the bombing of E. Moreland. Inquista will not be held legally liable for damages caused in civil or criminal courts, and admits no wrong doing as well.
There will also be a general withdrawal of all military forces to begin in the next twenty-four hours to be completed in one weeks time. Any force that stays past this point must compensate Reitzmag.
Did I miss anything or anyone have any problems with this?"
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Adm. Anderson speaks up to add something.
Adm. Anderson: "I also would like to have Icholasen replace the destroyed RNS Archangel Gabriel after an SU-57 fighter-bomber dropped missiles above the said patrol vessel." -
Bernie said "we do not do 'investments'. If we were to put any money into this destroyed region, that, may I remind you, was not destroyed by us, we would demand the money was given to a communist government. Only communists can do what is best for the people -- not business owners, shareholders or... billionaihs!"
Becky Short-Hailey said "that ship was destroyed by a rogue pilot and we take no responsibility for that loss. We will not provide anything, any money any weapons to a non-communist government."
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Nigel exclaims immediately.
Mr. Farage: "Mr Sanders, the money will not go to the government but to the restoration of the entire Reich of E. Moreland, also investigation had already shown that the plane bears the roundel of the Nicolezian Air Force. This proves that there's no more excuse for you to replace our ship." -
"We don't care that it was a Nicoleizian plane, it was not, according to us, a sane Nicoleizian pilot. Under no circumstances will we replace the ship." Becky Short-Hailey replied.
"We also will not supply any money to capitalist regimes as we cannot trust that this money will go to the people. It will, in all likelihood, go to the billionaihs who have already profited enough off this war." Bernie added.
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"Let me quickly interject to say that the European Council has banned any arms deals with the communists controlling the island of Icholasen. Which is why they would instead provide support to the community of E. Moreland that their air fighting with Inquista is now impacting with down jets and further death. Obviously this support would be in the most effective way possible for E. Moreland that is with monetary means.
The Autonomous government of E. Moreland would remain loyal to its crown and must democratically figure out its government. If that leads to a communist democratic government that is the way it will be. The people have a choice.
The Fund again will be managed by a neutral party who will ensure that it is used for the most humanitarian means possible for common citizens most impacted by this conflict. "
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Adm. Anderson: "I would also address that Inquista should not be payed since they invaded us helplessly. We consider their actions as invasion since they weren't permitted to do so."
Mr. Farage; "I also would like to inform everyone that E. Moreland does not require Autonomous status since all reichs are lead by their respective governors which handles its own politics but still follows the laws from the national parliament."
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"That is why the Reitzmag compensation is only passed during the initial point of the Inquistan entrance when they were invited by the Reitzmag government to enter and take control of their air space.
Your nation is officially described as a unitary state in the European Factbook. E. Moreland achieving an autonomous status may help alleivate the apparent political and economic situation it is currently in and provide to the parties here a form of assurance."
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"Inquista has established a particularly rigid and precise refugee scheme under the tenure of our current Archbishop. This refugee scheme is very generous and will allow for any Inquistan Orthodox refugee to resettle in Inquista. Thus, all displaced Inquistan Orthodox persons in Reitzmag may apply for refugee status in Inquista. With that said, we will not accept any other sort of refugees. For that reason, the rest of you can agree to some sort of international committee on the matter. That's fine with Inquista, but we won't be involved in it.
"Similarly, you may also set up any sort of international fund to redevelop E. Moreland as you like. That's completely fine. However, Inquista won't be part of it either. If Inquistans are to provide loans, investments and other capital to businesses in E. Moreland, then we shall develop our own fund for that cause on our terms. Air Marshal Copala has devised a reconstruction package to rebuild the economy of E. Moreland, which has been dubbed the 'Air Marshal Plan'. We have been expecting the Air Marshal to share the terms of the reconstruction package. However, we have not heard from her in some time, so you will have to sit tight and wait.
"I agree with the latter terms. Reitzmag should reimburse at least 25% of the total cost of the Inquistan operations. I also agree that Inquista will not be liable for any damages which may have been caused in uprooting the communists."
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Nigel reads the document sent by HM George I.
Mr. Farage: "I also like to address that HM George I asks that visa-free travel be implemeted between all countries involved in the situation for at least 1 month." -
"With all due respect, Kristian, Icholasen doesn't care if capitalists were affected by the war and if they suffer or have suffered it's karma." Becky Short-Hailey said. "We will not give anyone a penny if they're not - say it with me folks - communist. Also, Reitzmag has banned travel between itself and Icholasen so it is not us causing a barrier for free movement. Icholasen's position on refugees is that it will welcome literally anyone from any country if they pledge allegiance to Chairman Jirluchuz and the flag under which we in Icholasen live and die."
