An Orthodox Approach to Diplomacy
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Bernie said "we do not do 'investments'. If we were to put any money into this destroyed region, that, may I remind you, was not destroyed by us, we would demand the money was given to a communist government. Only communists can do what is best for the people -- not business owners, shareholders or... billionaihs!"
Becky Short-Hailey said "that ship was destroyed by a rogue pilot and we take no responsibility for that loss. We will not provide anything, any money any weapons to a non-communist government."
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Nigel exclaims immediately.
Mr. Farage: "Mr Sanders, the money will not go to the government but to the restoration of the entire Reich of E. Moreland, also investigation had already shown that the plane bears the roundel of the Nicolezian Air Force. This proves that there's no more excuse for you to replace our ship." -
"We don't care that it was a Nicoleizian plane, it was not, according to us, a sane Nicoleizian pilot. Under no circumstances will we replace the ship." Becky Short-Hailey replied.
"We also will not supply any money to capitalist regimes as we cannot trust that this money will go to the people. It will, in all likelihood, go to the billionaihs who have already profited enough off this war." Bernie added.
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"Let me quickly interject to say that the European Council has banned any arms deals with the communists controlling the island of Icholasen. Which is why they would instead provide support to the community of E. Moreland that their air fighting with Inquista is now impacting with down jets and further death. Obviously this support would be in the most effective way possible for E. Moreland that is with monetary means.
The Autonomous government of E. Moreland would remain loyal to its crown and must democratically figure out its government. If that leads to a communist democratic government that is the way it will be. The people have a choice.
The Fund again will be managed by a neutral party who will ensure that it is used for the most humanitarian means possible for common citizens most impacted by this conflict. "
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Adm. Anderson: "I would also address that Inquista should not be payed since they invaded us helplessly. We consider their actions as invasion since they weren't permitted to do so."
Mr. Farage; "I also would like to inform everyone that E. Moreland does not require Autonomous status since all reichs are lead by their respective governors which handles its own politics but still follows the laws from the national parliament."
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"That is why the Reitzmag compensation is only passed during the initial point of the Inquistan entrance when they were invited by the Reitzmag government to enter and take control of their air space.
Your nation is officially described as a unitary state in the European Factbook. E. Moreland achieving an autonomous status may help alleivate the apparent political and economic situation it is currently in and provide to the parties here a form of assurance."
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"Inquista has established a particularly rigid and precise refugee scheme under the tenure of our current Archbishop. This refugee scheme is very generous and will allow for any Inquistan Orthodox refugee to resettle in Inquista. Thus, all displaced Inquistan Orthodox persons in Reitzmag may apply for refugee status in Inquista. With that said, we will not accept any other sort of refugees. For that reason, the rest of you can agree to some sort of international committee on the matter. That's fine with Inquista, but we won't be involved in it.
"Similarly, you may also set up any sort of international fund to redevelop E. Moreland as you like. That's completely fine. However, Inquista won't be part of it either. If Inquistans are to provide loans, investments and other capital to businesses in E. Moreland, then we shall develop our own fund for that cause on our terms. Air Marshal Copala has devised a reconstruction package to rebuild the economy of E. Moreland, which has been dubbed the 'Air Marshal Plan'. We have been expecting the Air Marshal to share the terms of the reconstruction package. However, we have not heard from her in some time, so you will have to sit tight and wait.
"I agree with the latter terms. Reitzmag should reimburse at least 25% of the total cost of the Inquistan operations. I also agree that Inquista will not be liable for any damages which may have been caused in uprooting the communists."
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Nigel reads the document sent by HM George I.
Mr. Farage: "I also like to address that HM George I asks that visa-free travel be implemeted between all countries involved in the situation for at least 1 month." -
"With all due respect, Kristian, Icholasen doesn't care if capitalists were affected by the war and if they suffer or have suffered it's karma." Becky Short-Hailey said. "We will not give anyone a penny if they're not - say it with me folks - communist. Also, Reitzmag has banned travel between itself and Icholasen so it is not us causing a barrier for free movement. Icholasen's position on refugees is that it will welcome literally anyone from any country if they pledge allegiance to Chairman Jirluchuz and the flag under which we in Icholasen live and die."
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"Absolutely not. Inquista has long already instituted visa-free travel with Icholasen, but that agreement has now been suspended in light of the communist takeover. We will not restore visa-free travel to Nicoleiziains until their legitimate government has been returned to power. We certainly also won't be extending visa-free travel to Reitzmen during this current time. That is something we can consider once we have been paid war reparations."
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"If this committee was to basically act as a centralization of the refugee status of people from Reitzmag and not force refugees on countries who do not wish specific groups would that be more acceptable to Inquista. If all Inquista wants to take is Inquistan Orthodox refugees that is alright, but for the purposes of clarify, accountability, and ease between all the interested parties here this committee would only work to facilitate the standards set forth by the partner nations. Inquista won't be forced to take Catholics or communists. Think about it the process for checking and initially approving various refugees would be paid by someone else.
I should remind that the compensation from Reitzmag to Inquista is only for the period of time before the bombing of E. Moreland.
What if this fund was made partly-federalised in a way. Inquistan money sent to the fund could have some if not all of the terms it wishes attached and could more easily track where and how it is spent. It would be just be administered by a neutral head here in Nyetthem to no tax charge from Vayinaod or in Reitzmag on any gains. Each nation could see its cell of money being administered. Unfortunately the Air Marshal is not here, but I can assure that her trademark plan could still be implemented under this fund.
Visa free travel is far away from the conversation we are having right now, and can be a matter for a time much further in the future.
Ma'am the truth of the matter is that you communists got involved in a situation post fact of its communist origin. The point of which you joined there were no communist. Academically you and your forces were taking part in imperialistic moves, so lets not split hairs here. Pleding allegiance to one specific person seems rather bourgeoisie if you ask me. Who knows, if you send more money than probably communist support would rise in a legal and democratic moanner as they wish.
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"Capitalists looking out for each other - I see how it is." Becky Short-Hailey said. "And Jordyn, bruv, you wanna see the legitimate government of Icholasen - it's us mate. Take a long hard look and get used to it. We don't even want your open borders anyway. Inquista is far to small and far too rich for its own good.
As for the accusation that we got involved after the communists died off, that is not true. Before the coup in Icholasen, I and others from the Nicoleizian Dominion of Nuwnociluosoaulaunk aided the communists. Our government in Nuwnociluosoaulaunk is the legitimate and democratically elected predecessor to the current government and be in no doubt, we have been working tirelessly to aid the communists in Reitzmag for a very long time.
In addition, Chairman Jirluchuz (praise be upon him) is the father of our nation, the embodiment of the proletariat. I find it offensive that you should call him out and any more slander against Chairman Jirluchuz (praise be upon him), myself and Bernard here will leave."
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Mr. Farage stands up and bangs his shoe on the table while the Communist Nicolezian Diplomat speaks.
Mr. Farage: "Now we're talking, you are a tyrrant! You are supporting such violent actions despite their leader actually not supporting such thing. Come to think on how many innocent lives were wasted because of the violence you supported. And now, you don't want to pay for repairing a place you turned into wasteland by supporting such acts of chaos. This is ridiculous and unforgivable! You shall suffer the consequences of what you've done!
You also have to replace the patrol vessel with at least equal level of technology. AWACS patrolling the area were present and they reported this immediately. The pilot was identified as Communist Taylor Swift and is a pro-communist Nicolezian. And of course, who would even tend to steal a stealth equipped fighter-bomber. You should have greatly protected such high-tech equipment from "rogue pilots" that you described to have piloted the said aircraft when RNS Archangel Gabriel was destroyed. And who could load such aircraft with those number of missiles by herself?
Friends, this is a very logical situation. And this may easily be solved by accepting that you owe a lot from the URR because of what you've done. Inquista shall also pay since they were those who fought against Communist Icholasen. And that the battle did not involve any equipment of the Grand Royal Armed Forces to attack or retaliate."
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"Sir, you will respect all delegates here and listen to what they say. If you make another action like that we will convene a recess and you will be suspended from attending any further proceedings.
Look, I have offered serious concrete proposals. In compromise no one is ever satisfied, but through compromise we can work to ensure a far better outcome than what was previously expected. You all want different things, but there is no way to to accommodate all of them. There is the fair and just proposal I put forth which allows for us to lay a frame work for more potential to accommodate further grievances. "
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Bishop Secretary Finsch recoiled in his seat as Mr. Farage banged his shoe on the table. He patiently waited for him to finish rambling, before then deciding to speak.
"I understand what you're getting at Mrs. Nyu- I mean Mr. Nylund. However, Inquista doesn't need to participate in an internationally centralized bureaucratic system in order to resettle Inquistan Orthodox refugees. We already have a system in place in Inquista to specifically deal with this. I can appreciate clarity, and the fact that Vayinaod would generously pay for the first three years, but this proposed system wouldn't be more efficient - at least, for us Inquistans anyway. Besides, I can tell you right now, if I agreed to an international committee on refugees, I would probably be sacked by the Archbishop on the spot and sent to a uranium mine in the Western Sahara. Nothing like a good 'ol gulag, eh Becky?
"Again, I can appreciate the sentiments of your proposal Mrs. Nylund. Oh, excuse me - Mr. Nyuland - sorry. But there's just no need for a middle man. When Inquistans depart with their money, they like to give it straight to the source, completely on their own terms. I think both of these ideas are good, and I encourage you all and even other European nations to be involved with them, but Inquista simply just won't be participating.
"Reitzmag will either pay for 25% of absolutely all Inquistan operations in Reitzmag, including the bombing of E. Moreland, or they will pay 90% of all operations that preceded the bombing of E. Moreland. Both of these options are final and are non-negotiable. Choose one.
"Also, Becky, sis. The only thing that is legitimate, is the shadow of Jaremi Carebin that overshadows you. You're not even half the revolutionary he is. If the regime in Icholasen was going to take this discussion seriously, then they obviously would have sent Piane Daggot herself, since she's a negotiator known for her strong mathematical and number-crunching abilities. Instead, however, they sent you. Quieten down and let Mr. Sanders do the talking."
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Nigel stops banging his shoe on the table and wears it. He listens to both the speakers and then stand up.
Mr. Farage: "I'm sorry Sec. Finsch but the URR has no liability for bombing E. Moreland since it was unpermitted. The government only permitted you to aid in controlling the communist rebels."
phone starts ringing
Mr. Farage: "Excuse me, HM George I would like to talk to us."
Mr. Farage connects the phone to a speaker and the projector to show the king's face.
HM George I: "I have been notified that the reason Inquista bombed E. Moreland without my permission is only to retaliate after a pro-communist performed an assassination attempt on me. If this is so, then I should have just died rather than many innocent civilians died and that the sovereignty of the URR is invaded."
call ends
Mr. Farage: "So apparently, you have heard the king. He did not like your armed forces' actions. Also, why would you want us to pay for service that we did not force you to do? It's called FOREIGN AID and this aid is of voluntary basis only. It was then up to you to help. Foreign aid is not designed to generate money but instead to help other nations in great need.The communists were being organized to begin their surrender when the bombing immediately began without our consent or at least the king's. Now, you don't want to pay for what you've done? You destroyed our economy by disobeying our instructions and that is an invasion of sovereignty. Long live the URR!"
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"Alright, lets back to the basics.
All military forces will vacate Reitzmag in less than one weeks time, that seems to be agreeable to everyone provided other points are met.
If Reitzmag agrees to pay Inquista and Gallorum 50% of the initial military operational costs over a one year time period , with the remaining 40% coming from economic incentives for Inquistan businesses to invest or set up in E. Moreland and other impacted areas of Reitzmag would that be acceptable? E. Moreland could be declared a special economic zone to accommodate this.
Becky and Bernie, if communist Nicoleizian forces leave now and promise to no longer interfere in the affairs of Reitzmag, only taking in communist political refugees who wish to leave the country is that acceptable? No paying for the boat itself, offering support for the families of those who died to your pilot. You can still claim them to be a rogue, but offer support as to help those impacted by the Imperialism of Europe if you want to spin it that way.
It seems there is not support for a central system for the refugees but would everyone agree to the establish of a system to monitor the countless camps being set up for the variety of refugee classes? Vayinaod wishes to send and pay for medical and humanitarian supplies to all these camps. "
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Parly: We in the Kingdom of Gallorum resent the allowance for language of imperialism. The European Union is a democratic institution and all its nations are democratic. In fact it’s only the communists who have failed in democracy, resorting to the violent revolution we see before us.
We will not support any agreement that includes language of imperial accusation. Gallorum would like to offer deal with the Reitzmic armed forces that their payment to Gallorum could include defence procurement, ensuring security for their nation.
The Kingdom of Gallorum will accept refugees to be resettled in an agreement between Her Majesty’s Government and the Irish Government.
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"Maybe if you don't want that language to be used, don't be imperialistic." Becky Short-Hailey declared. "I'm not prepared to take lectures on democracy from a Gaulois regime with a monarch. Who voted for Queen Margrethe, huh? Can a country really be democratic without the liberation of the proletariat? And Kristian, we would do all those things anyway on our own. Icholasen doesn't need multilateralism. Icholasen can act unilaterally because we're a big power here. A big deal! Honestly, the only reason me and Bernie are still here is the free jammie dodgers. Bernie loves a jammie dodger."
"I do!" Bernie said moving his arms upward with enthusiasm, nearly hitting Nigel Farage in his neverending neck.
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Foreign Minister Parly: Ms. Becky, is it? Perhaps you are mistaken as to what a constitutional monarchy is...the monarch serves no purpose but to be a representation of the state. She is, what do you say...set dressing as it were. There to perform theatre so that decisions can be made by the democratically elected National Assembly of Gallorum and carried out by the Government of Gallorum. We were voted in by the will of our people. But neither here nor there; I'm sure Piane can get you caught up on the appropriate political science for failed despots book later.
