Cryptic Firoux Tweet Likely to All but End Leeson's Chances in Inquista

Op-ed written by Lex Burnley

A cryptic tweet made by Chief Bishop Secretary Edward Firoux is widely being regarded as a snub of Peter Leeson's campaign to become the Internal Affairs Commissioner of the European Union. The snub will spell good news for Commission candidates Emma Granger, Piane Daggott and Joe Biden, who are expected to gain at his expense, and consume what remains of his political support in Inquista.

Leeson has launched his campaign for Internal Affairs by admonishing the equal marriage rights clause of the European Union's Declaration of Human Rights, which Leeson has stated that he would like to see removed. Bishop Secretary Firoux wrote and championed the equal marriage rights clause, among other significant contributions he made to the UDoHR, including clauses on torture and capital punishment, and other measures to expand and strengthen the EU's primary human rights declaration. Thus, the Chief Bishop Secretary's tweet is publicly being interpreted as a swipe against the Leeson campaign.

In order to win in Inquista, Leeson - who describes himself as a centrist and moderate candidate - would need to rely on the support of Inquista's centre-left and centre-right. Firoux is broadly considered to be the popular avatar of Inquista's centre-left, and he is also coincidentally held in especially high regard by Inquistan environmentalists and ecologists, who appear to be another demographic that the Leeson campaign are targeting. Firoux's social media snub likely means Leeson will lose signficant support in Inquista's centre-left and environmentalist circles, leaving Leeson only with Inquista's centre-right, who are in turn likely to take issue with the vast majority of Leeson's other policies (such as his proposed Europe-wide referendums), and who appear to be coalescing around Joe Biden's #NoMalarkey campaign anyway - leaving Leeson with no discernible demographic of support in the country.

Firoux's cryptic tweet is considered to be quite significant because the Bishop Secretary has not publicly commented on European politics since stepping down as the EPA Chairperson in December of 2020. Firoux did not participate or comment in the last Commission elections, meaning he did not endorse Leeson's previous premiership candidacy, which ultimately resulted in Leeson failing to win the premiership and thus becoming the first EPA premiership candidate to lose an election in more than three years. Firoux is expected to once again not endorse any Commission candidate, and hasn't shown too much enthusiasm to wade into European politics again, besides to show support to the LGBTQ community and those who seek to limit the UDoHR.

European Union

Regional update for the month of July, 2022

European Commission
Premier Commissioner Jean Claude Juncker (Spain)
Commissioner of Internal Affairs Kevin Cotilla (Leagio)
Commissioner of Foreign Affairs Antoni Reynels (Inquista)

European Council
Speaker Iras Tilkanas (Istkalen)
Deputy Speaker Nicholas Benfield (Inimicus)

European Court of Justice
Chief Justice Judy Scheindlin (United Duchies)
Justice Robert French (United Kingdom)
Justice Raymond Gauthier (Leagio)
Justice Dayo Mwangi (Elthize)
Justice Benjamin Steyn (Inimicus)

Commission Politics

Commission Elections Swept by Progressives
The thirty-second European Commission was elected on July 26th. Spaniard Jean Claude Juncker (European Progressive Alliance) was elected as Premier Commissioner with 77% of the vote, defeating Duchian opponent Calvin Kühnert (Independent). Leagioan Senator, Kevin Cotilla (European Progressive Alliance), was elected as Commissioner of Internal Affairs with 62% of the vote, defeating the incumbent Commissioner Ilmaras Kalessed of Istklaen (Party of the European Left). Inquistan Bishop, Antoni Reynels (European Progressive Alliance), ran unopposed for Commissioner of Foreign Affairs and was unanimously elected. The election marked the first time that EPA commissioners had been elected to office since 2020.

Sliding Into DMs
Outgoing Internal Affairs Commissioner Ilmaras Kalessed has overseen changes to the EU Commission App, which will allow European netizens to directly message any European politician, and will allow netizens to also directly comment on any proposed legislation.

Council Politics

European Agricultural Fund
The European Council is currently debating an act which seeks to create the European Agricultural Fund, which will provide economic assistance to workers of European farming and fishing industries. The proposal has been put forth by Premier Juncker, who promised region-wide subsidies for European farmers and fishers during his Commission campaign.

European Order of Merit Nomination
Commissioner Reynels has nominated Eurocorps Commander Vincent Drake of the Duxburian Union to the European Order of Merit for “his contributions to European security and global peace.” Commander Drake has served as Commander of the European Corps since its inception in 2020. The nomination is now up for Council debate.

European Central Bank Election
Premier Juncker has opened nominations for a new President of the European Central Bank. Candidates from the Unites Duchies, Istkalen, Spain, and Reitzmag have been nominated, and are currently making their cases for the ECB Presidency.

Constitutional Amendment
Councillor James Mizrachi-Roscoe of the United Duchies has proposed a new clause to the European Constitution that would prevent the EU from fining European companies more than 1% of their pre-tax profits for breaches of European law. Councillors are currently voting on the constitutional amendment, which looks likely to be defeated.

Repeal of the Elected and Accountable Council Act (EACA)
The Elected and Accountable Act, which at one point in time required all members of the European Council be directly elected by the people of their country of origin, is currently being voted on to be repealed. The repeal of the EACA seems very likely, following amendments made in March 2021 that weakened the legislation, only requiring member states with less than 12 months in the European Union to elect their Councillors.

Amendments to the Mental Health Act
Councillor James Mizrachi-Roscoe of United Duchies has proposed amendments to the European Mental Health Act, which would decentralize current mental health services away from the European Health Organization, and entrust them with relevant national organisations instead.

Council Safety Act is Rejected
A proposal made by Councillor Iras Tilkanas of Istkalen to increase the security of the European Council was defeated in a 6-3 vote against. The proposal sought to ban certain controlled substances, flammable materials, and weapons from the European Council, implement cushioned ceilings, walls and floors, restrict chamber furniture (including banning sharp-edges), and would have created restrictions for entering the site.

European Council Majority Increase Rejected
Then-Commissioner Kalessed proposed a constitutional amendment which would have raised the definition of a simple majority within the European Council from 55% of those present to 60% of those present. The proposal was unanimously defeated with 5 votes against.

European Neurodivergent and Disability Rights Act Amendment
Amendments proposed by Councillor James Mizrachi-Roscoe of the United Duchies, which aim to soften certain requirements of the European Neurodivergent and Disability Rights Act, were passed with only 2 votes for and 2 votes in abstention. The amendments allow for “reasonable adaptations” of the legislation’s mandates and requirements, and spell out situations where adaptations are exempt or not necessary.

European Court of Justice (ECoJ)

ECoJ Elections
July saw a new European Court of Justice elected alongside the new European Commission. Judy Scheindlin (United Duchies) was elected Chief Justice while Robert French (United Kingdom), Raymond Gauthier (Leagio), Dayo Mwangi (Elthize) and Benjamin Steyn (Inimicus) were all elected as Justices. Justice Judy Scheindlin is the first Chief Justice to serve from the United Duchies.

News From Around Europe

Jesus Never Dies
President Jesús Aguilar of Spain has won re-election as Spanish President, following six years of already being in power. President Aguilar and his Partido Popular won the Spanish general election in July with 264 seats, claiming a slim majority of 3 seats. The Partido Socialista followed with 121 seats, VOX with 40 seats, Sumar and the SNP with 18 seats each, Esquerra Republicana with 13 seats, Unidas Podemos with 12 seats, and minor parties claiming a handful of other seats. Spanish Senate elections saw a similar distribution pattern in their results. President Aguilar will now oversee his fourth cabinet.

You’ll Win With the Right Priorities
A general election in the United Kingdom saw the incumbent Tory government defeated and a Labour government elected in its place. As their first act in government, the new Starmer government successfully repealed the country’s Adult Video Law, giving its citizens greater access to explicit adult content.

Doing the Bare Minimum
The National Congress of Leagio introduced a federal minimum wage across the country, which stands at 11 Sulias an hour. Until now, minimum wages had only been set by state and territorial governments of Leagio.

EMU Ready to Fly in Elthize by 2024
President Greenwich Grimwald of Elthize has promised that his country will adopt the European Monetary Unit (EMU) as a currency no later than January 2024. The EMU currently serves as a currency of Spain, Inquista, the United Dominions of Icholasen, Fremet, Vayinaod, Montenbourg and Leagio.

Inquistan Center for Children Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too
The College of Bishops of Inquista have passed educational reforms that will streamline and expand mandatory subjects for Inquistan primary and secondary students. Changes to secondary education will, for example, see maths, at least one science, English, Latin or a modern foreign language, religion, and at least one art class become mandatory, with only two other subjects of personal choice being permitted per year. Previously, the only mandatory subjects in secondary school were English, Latin, and religion, with all other subjects being subjects of personal choice.

AeroDux and Easyjet: Our Flights Bring You Closer to Heaven
Flights have been restored to normal within the airspace of the United Duchies following a collision in June between an AeroDux A350 and an Easyjet Duchies A320 that left 492 passengers dead.

Soiled Soil Soiling Soil
The government of Istkalen implemented land measures that included the nationalization of non-urban land, and land value taxes that were levied on land users, which ultimately resulted in mass protest by farmers. The measures went on to be repealed, but not without creating a rift with the New Agrarians, who were expected to be included in the government of the country. Ilmaras Kalessed, who is now leader of the New Agrarians following her service within the European Commission, has remarked that "so long as this government stands, the farmer will not be at peace.”

Giving the People What They Want
Two referendums were held in Lusitania and Vettonia. The first referendum concerned decentralizing greater powers to local authorities, while the second referendum asked whether voters wanted to establish a monarchy for the country, which is currently a republic. In both cases, voters responded enthusiastically in the affirmative, giving royalists and local Neathian tribes (who’ve pushed for greater local autonomy) much to celebrate. The referendums follow a period of relative political instability, where the shaky government has barely managed to survive votes of no confidence. Protests continue to be ongoing in the country due to political strife.

The Untouchable Bald Head
The National Imperial Council of Inimicus is currently discussing a new constitutional amendment proposed by the Imperial Palace, which would prevent the Council from ever being able to impeach the Inimican Emperor. This proposed constitutional amendment comes after the Inimican House of Commons indefinitely dissolved itself in June, following a previously passed constitutional amendment that requires the Inimican lower house to only ever meet by the Emperor’s decree or by the Imperial Council’s request.

Delete Your Account, Czech Bot
Spam bots originating from Czech Slavia have taken over the cyberspace of Inimicus, flooding Inimican social media and social media user inboxes with spam. The intention of the spam bots are not clear, but an Inimican professor believes that the bot accounts are operated by "individuals paid or supported by organisations or official institutions in Czech Slavia”. It has not yet been made evident if the Czech spam bots intend to make use of the EU Commission App’s new direct messaging features.

Social Distancing Now in Effect
A new law approved in Gadalland and Aspern will ban all protests that have greater than 1,000 persons in any of the country’s major cities, greater municipalities and their suburbs.

Royal Retirement
King Jean IV of Ineland has stated his intention to abdicate as king of the country after 37 years on the throne. King Jean will be turning 70 years old in September, and has alluded to his health as being a principal factor in his abdication. The Inelandic King’s announcement marks the first time that a monarch has abdicated in the country’s modern history.

My, What A Big Nuke You Have
The government of Czech Slavia has confirmed that the Czech Armed Forces have successfully tested a nuclear weapon in the region of South Moravia. The nuclear test brought a successful end to Project Morana, the Czech nuclear weapons development program. Project Morana was announced after the European Nuclear Weapons Authority (ENAA) unanimously agreed to award Czech Slavia with a limited nuclear weapons license earlier in May of this year.

This regional update has been issued by the Commissioner of Foreign Affairs.

"Spain is now on top, but a lot of entries are just behind. Only 9 points are separating 1st and 5th place, and Spain is yet to give us their scores, so they'll surely be vulnerable to losing their position.

"Should we keep the tension going, or should we just go to Spain now to get their results?"

The tension and nerves throughout the audience is palpable, and the audience cheers loudly for Cher to continue on with the show.

"Ok, ok, chillax! Lay off me. Let's go to Spain, then. Buenas noches, España! Pedro, you've got us on our feet! Please provide us with the Spanish televote results."

"... and the 12 points to Reitzmag and 10 to Pravsolaviya! 1 point to Istkalen, 2 points to Fremet, and 3 to Nofoaga! We dig it. Tactical voting is so in these days. Dope! Thanks for those results.

"Our final results will come from the United Duchies. This is make or break for the entire top 6, all of whom could theoretically win. One of Spain, Istkalen, Nofoaga, Fremet, Icholasen or Inquista shall take home the victory tonight.

"Good evening, United Duchies! Hello, Jasper. We're on the edge of our seats. Please deliver the Duchian results. We need a winner!"

The crowd cheers in anticipation as Jasper Carrot presents the Duchian televote scores.

"And we have a winner!"

"Congratulations to Spain, and congratulations to Anabel Conde for winning the 1996 EuroVoice Song Contest! Give it up to Annabel, who is now going to perform her winning song, Vuelve Conmigo."

Annabel takes to the stage to bask in her victory and to perform Vuelve Conmigo.

A Country Wedding (2015)

Rating: ☭☭ (out of 5)

A Country Wedding follows the story of small-town country gal Sarah (Reiserová) and her childhood crush, Bradley, who moved away from the small town when he was 13 years old following the death of his parents (Hallmark films seem to love killing the parents of their protagonists; Sarah's parents aren't dead yet, but we find out they live in Florida, which as we know, is death's waiting room). Before Bradley moves, he gives Sarah his mom's wedding ring and they get "married" (someone notify Emma Granger) in a farmhouse before Bradley has to depart.

Years later, Bradley is now a Grammy-winning country musician located in LA (where all the rich people live, obviously), and Sarah is still living in her childhood ranch house, taking care of sick and abandoned horses. Bradley becomes engaged to a famous actress, and upon seeing this on TV, Sarah sends a well-wishing note to Bradley's manager along with his mom's old ring. Bradly receives the note and is surprised by it, seemingly barely remembering giving Sarah the wedding ring. Bradley then decides to pay a visit his old home town (which he hasn't visited since) before he ties the knot to his fiancée. Predictably, Bradley eventually decides that LA isn't for him, and he falls in love again with Sarah, and then they get married for real.

The plot is very predictable and the outcome can be seen from several country miles away. The films charts new territory for Hallmark by actually depicting someone as the villain - the actress fiancée is a selfish and pretentious city girl who has let fame get to her head, and thus we must root against her. The problem is, as the story unfolds, there is little to root for between Sarah and Bradley. It's clear that Sarah and Bradley must get together, because they're true country folk cut from the same cloth, and the actress fiancée is just not #reltabale enough, but other than this, there is no real spark between the main characters.

Unfortunately, despite the fact that Sarah is a sweet southern gal who takes care of horses, she becomes increasingly more unlikable as the film unfolds. Virtually all of the humour in the film comes in the form of constant passive aggressive jokes that Sarah makes against city people, and she teases Bradley incessantly for becoming a rich celebrity. As we all know, "real" people know how to fish properly and wear old and dirty cowboy boots, not clean cowboy boots made in Italy. Worse yet, the more that Sarah speaks throughout the movie, you develop a sinking feeling that Sarah is a Ted Cruz supporter.

Reiserová takes on a country accent for her role as Sarah, which is cute and fun for the first 5 minutes, but then it becomes a nuisance. The accent isn't authentic and doesn't sound convincing. The film also features a country-laden soundtrack, which is very low quality and mostly features banjos being strum at random. Even as someone who enjoys some country music, it was distracting and sometimes even jarring. Bradley did deliver two musical performances, however, and they were quite acceptable.

The film is very risqué for a Hallmark production, as it features a whopping total of 3 kissing scenes, including one where Sarah kissed Bradley while he was still engaged to the famous actress (naughty)!

Disappointingly, Reiserová's performance in the film was somewhat lacking, perhaps because of the forced accent, or simply because there's only so much you can do when you're portraying a horse-girl who thought the Capitol Hill insurrection was a leftist plot. Bradley, like all country boys, is stoic and emotionless, and so in that regard his actor did a fantastic job.

The highlight of the film is when Sarah explains why Bradley belongs in the small town, telling him "Horses and dogs. White lilies. This ranch. These people." I've found myself repeating this quote all day whenever somebody asks me anything, and I simply can't help it. Iconic writing.

Two hammer and sickles out of five.

Bonus review from Goose (Czech Slavia): "Nothing happened. My grandma might like it"

Commissioner Antoni Reynels and Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg arrive in Telum, Inimicus

Commissioner Reynels stepped out of his limousine, thanked his chauffeur, and made his way to the front steps of the Imperial Palace. Moments later, a large convoy of cars appeared on the palace driveway. A series of large and menacing-looking black SUVs preceded and followed a pretty pastel pink limousine. Commissioner Reynels stopped in his place as he reached the top of the stairs, put his hands behind his back, and then smiled. He knew exactly who was arriving.

Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg stepped out of her pastel pink limousine, aided by a massive security guard. She immediately spotted the Commissioner, and then let out an excited squeal and waved manically. "O-M-G! Antoni! Hi!"

"Never ceasing to use the Lord's name in vain," Commissioner Reynels muttered under his breath before letting out a laugh. Even though she could sometimes be an over-the-top character, Commissioner Reynels always appreciated the Archbishop's presence, as her light and excitable personality was a welcomed departure from the bureaucratic drones that he worked with in the Foreign Affairs office.

The Archbishop made her way up the stairs to Antoni and the two exchanged kisses on the cheeks. The Commissioner then flexed his bicep as the Archbishop wrapped her arms around the Commissioner's left arm. The two then entered the palace and were directed toward the throne room.

"It's always a pleasure to see you, Your Holiness," Commissioner Reynels commented.

"Aww, Antoni, you know I don't like it when you call me that! I'm so glad to see you too. How has Europolis been? We haven't seen each other in a while now. Like what, a few months?" Mikaela asked with a sweet smile.

"Yeah, a couple of months. I've been pretty busy, especially this last month. The EPA just hosted their convention, and the Commission elections just finished. The election season has been very busy. It's worth it though, as we'll have an all EPA Commission again."

"Oh great! I'm glad we'll have another woman Premier. Remember when we had that man before Premier Whiteford? Just terrible. He set the men's rights movement back by 10 years. We really should have elected Blair von Shroeder instead of him."

"How's Saint Dominico been? I haven't been home in a long time."

"Really good. Weather has been so exceptional this summer," Mikaela responded as she flaunted her tan. "So much good sunshine. I caught the latest Copala film. I highly recommend it. I went to go see it the other day with Prime Minister Bridges. He was in Inquista and it was a pretty good time."

"Oh? Any tea to spill?"

"Well, apparently he's married to a woman, so all those rumours about him and Prime Minister Aguilar getting it on in that park in Europolis don't seem to be true."

"Ah, a shame," the Commissioner responded with disappointment.

"Oh, I know. I just about cried on the spot. I guess some people just don't know what true love is, even if it hits them right in the face."

The pair finally reached the throne room, traded some final pleasantries, and then departed from one another to mingle with the other guests in the room.

Commissioner Reynels met up with Commissioner Juncker and beamed with excitement. "Congratulations on the election!" Commissioner Reynels greeted with thunderous enthusiasm.

The Commissioner then turned to President Lifejumper. "President Lifejumper, you're looking smartly dressed as always. It's good to see you."

...

The Archbishop darted around the room, mingling with different guests, with a glass of alcohol already in her hand. The Archbishop passed by Crown Princess Victoria of Montenbourg and dropped her a compliment. "Good evening Princess, you look simply immaculate," Mikaela commented as she walked by, towards Emperor Artabanos all those around him.

Mikaela made her acquaintances with the Austrian delegation, before then turning to Emperor Artabanos himself. "Artie!" Mikaela greeted informally, before beelining straight to his side and offering him a polite side-squeeze. "You're looking great! I must say, I was very, very worried. After an accident like that I thought that you were going to die, or even worse, I thought you might've experienced some permanent damage to your face, but you're looking as good as always."

The Archbishop then leaned closely to the Emperor's ear and whispered quietly. "I've never had plastic surgery, of course, but whoever has done yours, I must say, has done an amazing job. If you don't mind, you should tell Prince Tommy about whoever did your surgery, so he can get the hint. He really needs a new one. Don't tell him I said that."

Comrade Sofierce: Why Sofie Čikarová Is The Right Choice for Inquistans

Op-Ed written by Simon Whitakker (also known as SimSimonSays)

Like many youth living in the decadent hellhole known as Inquista, I've grown up knowing nothing but corruption and exploitation. I accepted Inquista's extravagant and rampant capitalism as an unfortunate - but irreplaceable - fact of life. That was, of course, until I played Imis.

Imis opened up my eyes to the glories of socialism, which is an ideology that is much more just, fair and efficient in how it organizes society. I am now an avid Imis streamer. You can catch me designing my labour union building and participating in fun Subbotniks every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday night at 9PM CET, when I stream live on YouTube on my channel SimSimonSays (be sure to like, subscribe and smash that notification button).

As a Imis streamer, I am so excited about the candidacy of Sofie Čikarová for Premier Commissioner of the European Union, and you should be too! Sofie Čikarová is the first ever PEL candidate for Premier Commissioner, and she has a platform that will prioritize the workers of the European Union. As her motto says, Sofie Čikarová is looking to "put some class into the commission! Proletariat class!"

Sofie Čikarová is already becoming known as 'Comrade Sofierce' within Inquistan circles, because she's both a fierce queen (not in the literal sense, of course) and a fierce advocate of the proletariat. Her platform includes support for legislation that will combat tax evasion, strengthen the power of labour unions, plans to provide subsidies to vital and productive infrastructure projects, and subsidies to essential services like education and healthcare. Her people-first economic platform looks to favour all European states, not just developing states, which is the only single economic plan presented so far which could directly benefit Inquista.

Comrade Sofierce also wants to secure the sovereignty and independence of each European Union member state, giving them full control of their own borders and their own foreign policy without Commission interference. Under the current Commission, and among all the other Premier Commissioner candidates, we're only hearing about the further integration of states into a prison of states. It's finally time that we unshackle ourselves from the Europolis elites, allow states to retain their sovereignty, and allow the proletariat to take the lead.

This upcoming Commission election is more important than ever. We can't take four more of months of a Commission that continues to keep workers downtrodden (whether it be EPA, ELDR or MEGA, it doesn't matter - they're all the same). That's why I'm calling the left and the working-class of Inquista to rally behind Sofie Čikarová. We can't elect Comrade Sofierce without our collective voices. The left can never have anything good in Inquista because we're constantly fighting ourselves. I know that Bishop Karinn Lallana has traded some harsh words with her Czech counterparts, but it's time that we put the divisions aside and work together. I call upon Bishop Karinn Lallana to endorse Sofie Čikarová for Premier Comissioner, and all I ask that all Inquistans show her our support. I can't vote because I am only 15, but I will do my best to have my voice heard, and you should too. Vote Comrade Sofierce for Premier Commissioner.

Good evening, Europe! And welcome to EuroVoice 44: Showtime! The EuroVoice Song Contest has returned home to Saint Dominico, Inquista, for the eighth time following Inquista's ninth historic win. It's an honour to host this amazing event in joint collaboration with the EUBC and the Inquistan Broadcasting Corporation. For the next while, we will take good care of you as we celebrate the power of music and the incredible talent of our continent!

EuroVoice is more than just a singing competition. It's a chance for all to come together as one, to embrace our differences, and to unite through our love of music. So whether you're joining us from a living room, a bar, a stadium, or a penal mine in Czech Slavia, we hope you'll sing along, cheer on your favourites, and most of all, have fun!

You know we like to shake it up here in Saint Dominico, so of course this will be no ordinary EuroVoice Song Contest. In recognition of the cultural diversity of Europe, and in spirit of putting on a great live show, EuroVoice 44: Showtime! has two rules: all entries must be in a language other than English and they must be live performances!

With that, put your hands together everybody, because it's showtime!

Entry Form

Nation Name:
Artist:
Song:
Link to youtube:
Vote deliverer with their image linked:
Link to your flag:

All entries must be in a language other than English and they must be live performances.

The entry deadline will run for 10 days, from now until 23:59 GMT on May 22nd, 2023. Voting will then be open for 10 days, until 23:59 GMT on June 1st, 2023.

Confirmed Entries

Duke Walter Cocx Has Perhaps the Most Appealing and Agreeable Message - But Do People Know This?

Op-Ed written by Lex Burnley

You might not know him, but Duke Walter Cocx is one of four candidates for Premier Commissioner of the European Union. In a rather crowded field of Premiership candidates, with include the likes of Dragan Trympov, Duke Cocx has eschewed rallies and media appearances, and has undertaken a deliberately measured approach to Commission campaigning. Out of all the Premier Commissioner candidates, Duke Walter Cocx has perhaps the most appealing and agreeable message - but do people know this?

In his single media interview with Nuntius Inimici, Duke Cocx explained that he has been deliberate in his approach to campaigning. Duke Cocx painted the blitzkrieg of Commission campaigning as light on policy and high on platitudes, which doesn’t seem to suit his style. Duke Cocx stated that he much preferred to “do my research, get my facts straight, calculate how much my policies will cost and how we will balance the books.”

Duke Cocx also took particular umbrage with the campaign of Senator Kerstin of Leagio, who fell into a particular trapping of running a fast-paced Commission campaign. Without checking the facts, Senator Kerstin spoke at length about a sexist meme which was incorrectly attributed to the campaign of Duke Cocx. Duke Cocx seized on the opportunity to reprimand the Senator, and then detailed his own experience with crafting policy, particularly on the topic of gender equality, where he championed the cause of extended maternity leave, the establishment of women's sanctuaries, and advocated for stronger punishments for sex offenders.

The Inimican Duke certainly has an eye for nuanced policy points, which he touts as being both achievable and realistic, which he contrasts against the lofty ideas of European-funded healthcare for low-income families or European-wide 5G. In his low-key manifesto launch event in Fremet, Duke Cocx revealed a manifesto that was dedicated to balancing the European budget, that would not change member state’s budget contributions, would be “tough on rogue states”, and committed to largely keep Europe’s institutions the same, with the exceptions of repealing Elected and Accountable Council Act and abolishing the European Assembly.

Duke Cocx’s message of pragmatism, carefulness, economic responsibility and incremental change might not seem sexy, but it is a message that could resonate with many in a time when most other candidates are campaigning on grand promises, value-laden and emotional clichés, and vows of sweeping reforms. Unfortunately, this is a message he might lose out on, especially if he doesn’t boost his name recognition. This lack of name recognition could become a point of real weakness especially now that Lady Angela Merkel of Fremet has entered the race, as she’s likely to swerve directly into his lane.

While Duke Cocx is certainly an esteemed and known figure in Inimicus, he isn’t a known quantity in much of Europe. Lady Angela Merkel, on the hand, is a colossal figure with immense name recognition. The former leader of Fremet only just entered the race and hasn’t done much campaigning herself, but she will likely echo much of Duke Cocx’s message – and most will probably credit her with it. Duke Cocx isn’t helped by the fact that Lady Merkel was nominated at a well-attended and televised EPA convention, where she was nominated and essentially endorsed by six different members of the European Council, including the Speaker of the European Council. At the same convention, the entire current incumbent Commission spoke, including the Premier Commissioner, who also gave Lady Merkel a nod of approval.

Will Duke Cocx’s measured approach to campaigning help or hinder his ability to overcome this challenge? Time will tell.

Premier & Foreign Affairs Commissioner Debate

With Rosemary Barker

Rosemary Barker: Good evening, and welcome to the Premier and Foreign Affairs Commissioner debate. I'm Rosemary Barker, and I will be your host and moderator.

The latest European Commission election is upon us. The state of European affairs continues to remain as divided as ever, and many Europeans are unsure of the direction in which the European Union is heading. Tonight, you will hear from your five Premier and your only Foreign Affairs Commissioner candidates. These candidates each have their own vision and priorities for the European Union, and it is your chance to hear from them. These candidates are all contending for your support, and possibly, even your vote.

The Premier Commissioner candidates are, from left to right, independent candidate Kittichat Thongthang, Harish Desai of the ELSS, Jean-Claude Juncker of the EPA, incumbent Premier Commissioner Sofie Čikarová of the PEL, and independent candidate Ville Niinistö. To the left of Mr. Niinistö is Pekka Haavisto, the independent and sole candidate for Foreign Affairs. Welcome, candidates.

Before the sparring and vote-vying begins, let us just make sure that the rules for tonight's debate are clear. Each candidate shall begin by making an opening statement, each lasting at maximum for 2 minutes ((OOC: 300 words)). Once opening statements are complete, there shall be a free debate period ((OOC: 24 hours)) where each candidates will be able to freely debate or rebuke any other candidate on stage, provided that each candidate only speak for 1 minute at a time ((OOC: 150 words)).

The free debate period shall be followed by the question period, in which questions from across Europe will be posed to all of the candidates, and they will each have 2 minutes ((OOC: 300 words)) to answer them, followed by a rebuttal period in which candidates can freely debate each other, again, provided that they speak for only 1 minute at a time ((OOC: 150 words)).

The debate shall finish with closing statements, in which each candidate can round off their performance with a 2 minute ((OOC: 300 words)) statement.

If any candidate is mentioned by any other candidate during the debate, then the candidate in question shall have the opportunity to make a rebuttal, which should last only 1 minute each ((OOC: 150 words)).

In order to make sure that this debate does not go over time, we shall not wait or pause for candidates who are holding back or being quiet ((OOC: if you are not answering questions during the allotted timeframe, or are being inactive, then we will not wait for you. Keep up, and stay active in the debate)).

With the rules now clear, it is time for the debate to begin. Candidates, please begin with your opening statements ((OOC: you will have approximately 24 hours to make your statements))!

Mikaela studied Tommy as he washed his hands nervously, before then moving her gaze to the mirror to look at herself.

"Tommy, you seem more nervous than a Red Croatian woman who lost track of her daily calories. It's going to be ok!" Mikaela reassured him. "It's your special day. This is an important step in your relationship with Carlos, but it's only one step in your already long relationship. Sure, marriage is a big deal, but life afterwards won't be, like, totally different. It'll mostly be the same. You are still you, and Carlos will still be Carlos."

Mikaela gave Tommy a sideways hug from behind, and let out a sigh after she finished embracing him. "Besides, it's too late to have cold feet now. You already put out a mortgage on the Casa Romanov Bar and Grill so that you could afford all the decorations."

"Also, like, I've totally neglected my Instagram for over a week and I really need these cute weddings pictures. My Instagram game needs a boost, and you know people LOVE wedding pictures. As your Maid of Honour, I've been looking forward to this, and I have so many great captions ready. I've been on this Czech diet for weeks to get my body right. I've been eating nothing but polévka s játrovými knedlíčky (liver dumpling soup) for breakfast, lunch and dinner," Mikaela moaned, making this moment of Tommy's internal crisis about herself.

"I want nothing less than to see my sweet Tommyboo married to a great Spanish... Spanish... Spanish man, like Carlos," Mikaela muttered as she held back tears, thinking about her dashed relationship with El Capitan.

What are the zodiac signs of your characters? Post below!

If need be, you can find out about zodiac signs and their meaning using this website, and you can use this useful tool to determine the full natal chart of your character using their birth date.

The sun sign is the most important sign, and that's the main one that people simply refer to. You can include the moon sign and the rising (ascendant) sign if you're feeling detail oriented.

Now, let us find out who's compatible, who are sworn enemies, and what's the deal with all those Gemini characters?

Characters
Mikaela Kligenberg - Libra Sun, Leo Moon, Aquarius Rising (October 12th, 1982)
Juan-Bernardo Fernandez-Velasquez - Aries Sun, Leo Moon, Cancer Rising (April 5th, 1990)
Edward Firoux - Capricorn Sun, Pisces Moon, Capricorn Rising (January 7th, 1976)
Anja Emerett - Pisces Sun, Pisces Moon, Taurus Rising (February 29th, 1976)
Antoni Reynels - Aquarius Sun, Virgo Moon, Leo Rising (February 14th, 1979)
Jesús Aguilar - Leo Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Sagittarius Rising (July 24th, 1988)
Jean-Claude Juncker - Sagittarius Sun, Gemini Moon, Cancer Rising (December 9th, 1954)
Donald Tusk - Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Scorpio Rising (April 22nd, 1957)
King George I - Scorpio Sun, Aries Moon, Taurus Ascendant (November 7th, 1973)
Queen Katherine - Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Capricorn Ascendant (February 5th, 1976)
Simon Bridges - Libra Sun, Pisces Moon, Taurus Ascendant (October 18th, 1983)
Prince William Windsor - Aries Sun, Capricorn Moon, Gemini Ascendant (March 26th, 1992)
Zgeirtan Hulnkrymnazen - Sagittarius Sun, Aries Moon, Pisces Rising (December 17th, 1988)
Helhuan Zihuruthstukur - Pisces Sub, Taurus Moon, Virgo Rising (March 5th, 1949)
Luzrogi Manniltrazen - Aquarius Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Aquarius Rising (February 14th, 1993)

UNBELIEVABLE Czech Propaganda BRAINWASHING Children With SHOCKING Cuteness

Article by Kathy Vickers
April 21, 2021

SINISTER CATS: Bodlinka (L) and Fousek (R) are the face of Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers.

A wild frenzy has been unleashed across the Inquistan internet following the implementation of new television guidelines introduced in Czech Slavia. The new Czech television guidelines, instituted by the Czech Ministry of Culture, aims to instill patriotism and the values of the Democratic Republic into the Czech people. New television programs have also been established in Czech Slavia in accordance with these guidelines, most notably of which includes a new children’s cartoon called Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers.

In Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers, Bodlinka (a female cat) and Fousek (a male cat) undertake various duties and tasks associated with Czech Slavia’s youth pioneer movement. In the inaugural episode, Bodlinka and Fousek are shown clearing and protecting a forest, promoting the importance of ecology, as well as demonstrating their "love and devotion to the great comrade President who loves the forests just as she loves all her children”. Episodes of the program are always sure to include heavy-handed messages of state propaganda.

Despite being a Czech-language program aimed entirely to a Czech audience, Bodlinka and Fousek have managed to take Inquista by storm, with English-subtitled versions of episodes being shared enthusiastically throughout Inquistan internet spaces. One Inquistan fan of the program described the series as “very cute uWu”, while other Inquistan fans have praised the individual characters of Bodlinka and Fousek, with one female fan stating that “Fousek may be a cartoon and a cat, but he has great values that I can never find in a good Inquistan boy. Fousek has my heart.”

The popularity of Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers in Inquista has been described as part of a broader “Czech Wave” that has been washing over Inquista’s youth. The enthusiasm for this Czech children’s cartoon coincides with the immense popularity Imis and other computer games produced by Computers United Kalmia (CUK), a Czech gaming company. Video games produced by CUK, much like Bodlinka and Fousek: Little Kitten Pioneers, also feature omnipresent messages concerning the advancement of socialism. Thus, Inquistan parents have become increasingly worried about the popularity of Czech-produced content among their children.

These newfound fans of Czech produced content have widely become known as “Chweebs” throughout Inquista. Many Chweebs have complained that they have suffered from bullying and social stigma as a result of their appreciation of Czech culture. One source told Inquista Today that “when people find out that I stan Anna K, that I play Imis, or that watch Bodlinka and Fousek, they will laugh at me”, and described an instance where “someone once spat on me and told me that I was ‘Czech Saliva’.”

According to latest Duo Lingo statistics, Czech has become the number one language that Inquistans are learning using the app, with 39% of all active monthly users in Inquista studying the language. Incidentally, the communities most critical of the pervasiveness of Czech television and online content in Inquistan society are Inquista’s very own burgeoning Czech refugee and immigrant communities. Some members of these communities have contacted Inquista Today, and have admonished Czech television programs and computer games as “statist propaganda” and “tools for numbing the brain with socialist messages.” Some have called for Czech state-produced content to be banned in Inquista.

The Czech Minister for Culture, Karel Šín, is widely credited as the mastermind who has developed the new Czech television guidelines, as well as the strategy to begin appealing more to Czech youth and children. Sources have told Inquista Today that the international community should be sceptical of Minister Šín and his intentions as he is a “known liar and psychopath”. Minister Šín, who boasts about having “tiger blood”, is reported to actually have an AB- blood type, which one source described as “literally the most useless blood type”. Another insider source alleged to Inquista Today that Minister Šín intends to use state propaganda to bolster his own image, which Minister Šín is “insecure about”, following instances where “he has pissed himself on stage at multiple party conferences”.

The Inquistan Orthodox Church has remained silent on the Czech Wave. Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg has been criticised for seemingly participating in the new cultural phenomenon, following her well documented appreciation for the art movement coming out of Czech Slavia, and her recent patronage of Czech art, which includes over 120 Czech paintings. Czech state media has even gone as far as to allege that Archbishop Kligenberg personally encouraged Czech President Albína Reiserová to launch her newly-created program, known as Reiserová's Moments, which focuses on building a cult of personality surrounding the Czech President. Inquista Today has contacted the Archbishop’s Palace in regards to the claims and has not received a comment at this time.

Voting has concluded.

In total, there were 15 votes. Turnout was down by 11 since the last Commission election. The results are thus:

In the third round of the Premier Commission election, Sofie Čikarová was eliminated as Dragan Trympov garnered more first preference votes,

Therefore Angela MERKEL is duly elected Premier Commissioner and Jean Claude JUNCKER is duly elected as Internal Affairs Commissioner, and commiserations to the other candidates.

The new Commission term will begin upon the election of the new ECoJ on September 19th, and will run until January 19th, 2021.

Mikaela sipped from her champagne as she walked around the room, enjoying the cool air conditioning before she'd soon be out in the afternoon sun. She was glad to see Tommy ease into a better headspace. She gently put her hand on his shoulder and smiled, before then walking over to Anastasia.

"I'm so excited! Finally, a proper wedding," Mikaela said before finishing off her champagne. "I can't believe that kid didn't even hold a proper one for you... that was the first real first red flag... well and the fact he looked like an actor from a 4-part film trilogy adapted from a young adult novel," Mikalea commented, referencing Queen Anastasia's latest marriage which came to an end.

"I know you did what you had to for your country, and we all thank you for your service, but please promise me you'll never marry a man who doesn't spend at least half his fortune on your wedding?"

Mikaela lowered her eyes and wrapped her arm around Anastasia. "I hope you're doing ok after that whole ordeal. I know he didn't mean anything to you to begin with, and it was all just business, but still, it couldn't have been a comfortable sacrifice. I know marrying for love isn't always a royal's destiny, but you do deserve someone special. Just like Tommy. Isn't this beautiful?" Mikaela smiled.

Even though this was Tommy's wedding day, Mikaela wasted no time to ensure that the next one wouldn't be too far away. "Oh, I know JUST the guy for you. Have you ever met my pilot Jimin? Anyway, he knows someone, this guy called J-Hope, and I invited him to the wedding. I totally think you two should talk. He used to be called Henri Jonetta, but while on holiday in Reitzmag he accidentally got Asianized, and now he's called Jung Hoseok, but he insists that you call him J-Hope. Transracial icon. Don't worry, his Asianization surgery was so great, you can barely tell he used to be white. I think his surgeon is the one that did Bishop Lallana's work."

Survivor EU: Tiny Island

Welcome to the second edition of Survivor EU! In the great tradition of the Tour of Angleter, the Llanowar Stock Exchange, (in development) threads started by Reitzmag, and Duxburian summits, we will never know what happened to the contestants of the first edition of Survivor EU. We wish them the best, and yet we move on. Survivor EU: Tiny Island is here!

Tiny Island is a miniscule and believed-to-be uninhabited island off the coast of Belarum, near Czech Slavia. This remote and desolate island is one of the most inhospitable places in Europe, third only to Dromund Kaas and Twitter during European Commission elections. Tiny Island, and its elements, are just as mysterious as uncertain as to who really owns the island.

Tiny Island will become the new home for some of Europe’s 16 biggest ‘icons’ - various eccentric despots, anime people, and leaders who are subjected to the rage-posting of others on Discord - with the terms icon being used with the same loose liberty that the live econ sheet uses to calculated GDPs. It’s basically abstract subjectivity.

Now, who are these contestants? You didn't ask, but you're going to find out anyway!

These 16 contestants will start out on two divided tribes, the Little Tribe, wearing red, and the Small Tribe, wearing yellow. Eventually, the two tribes will merge and the competition will become an individual game.

Over the course of 39 days, these contestants will need to battle the elements and each other in order to survive. They will need to work together, as well as against each other, in order to forge a new society. The contestants will need to learn to adapt or they will risk being voted off their tribe. In the end, only one will remain to claim the one million Euro prize and title of Sole Survivor. 39 days, 16 contestants… one survivor!

<Survivor EU: Tiny Island Theme Song plays>

((OOC: Nothing in this thread is RP canon and it is completely simulated using BrantSteele.))

Inquista Signs Declaration of Friendship with Czech Slavia

May 13, 2021

The Czech Embassy in Saint Dominico (L); Sisters in Destiny statue (R)

Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg has announced today that Inquista has signed a Declaration of Friendship with the Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia. The Declaration of Friendship has been proclaimed following a honeymoon of increasingly warm relations between the two countries. The friendship declaration is a mostly token gesture, but it carries significant symbolism: Inquista has never signed such a declaration with any other state in modern history. The text within the declaration is specifically dedicated to the "the profound and earnest friendship shared between the Inquistan and Czech people, as well as the unbreakable sisterhood shared between the Czech and Inquistan motherlands". Text within the declaration also boasts of a "joint march towards progress."

The Declaration of Friendship was also accompanied by another gesture, in which the Inquistan Orthodox Church presented a marble statue of two women - one representing Inquista, the other representing Czech Slavia - with their arms wrapped around one another, to the Czech embassy in Saint Dominico. The statue, which is entitled "Sisters in Destiny", was designed by Josephina Pileppa, and was commissioned at the behest of the Archbishop for the occasion. May 13th has also been designated as Day of Czech Fraternity within Inquista.

Rosy relations between Inquista and Czech Slavia have come under progressively more criticism, not only within both Inquista and Czech Slavia, but even from within Istklaen. While some Czechs have voiced their worry about Inquista's economic access to Czech Slavia, as many Inquistans are equally worried about the growing encroachment of Czech nationalist and ideologically-laden cultural overtones in Inquistan civil society, as well as a growing perception that the Archbishop is falling under the influence and sway of Czech Slavia's top politicians.

Mikaela giggled as V whispered to her, pretending he was saying something cheeky. Mikaela batted her eyes before announcing, "Oh, you flirt! Ok, Carlos, we'll be right back, my BOYFRIEND just cannot get enough of me."

Mikaela walked with V to the corner of the room, and then began speaking to him a hushed tone. "Ok, look, I know I'm putting you on the spot, but I need a favour. You see that man over there with Carlos? Well, he's called Johnny, and he ghosted me on Christian Mingle. Now I'm in an awkward predicament seeing him here. I can't have him think that I'm still single. So I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend. We're not actually dating, but you need to pretend that we are. Think of this as an acting opportunity. You were so great in Hwarang: The Poet Warrior Youth, I'm sure you can pull this off. Your objective is to make him as jealous as possible. Can you do that for me, pretty please?"

Mikaela smiled, and before letting V answer, let out another hysterical laugh to regain Johnny's attention. Mikaela tugged on V's shirt, pulled him along and paraded back to Carlos and Johnny. "Ah, where were we? We were getting acquainted, right?"