Blair knew exactly what to say the moment she heard the questions, but she waited for Rodrigo to start his speech so she could interrupt him and display her dominance. Soon enough, he opened his mouth as if to begin talking - but she made sure to speak first and began to loudly project, her theatricality and cockiness taking over the room.
"Exactly. Why the fuck should the European people keep going back to EPA politicians? There are great people there, but most of the EPA politicians are just sheep who entered the most powerful party to get a big push in their political ambitions." She then took the microphone and began to walk on stage while speaking, acting like the love child of Tony Robbins and an overly zealous Southern pastor.
"Actually, fuck that PC bullshit of not naming names and saying most politicians instead. And that whole defending your ass by saying that uhh I'm sure there are nice people there load of crap. Let's be upfront. Let's take a look at Rodrigo there, a whiny bitch reciting some third grade level poetry about the winds of Europe changing. Holy FUCK, could that guy get any cringier?" The audience laughed or chuckled, some fully agreeing with her but ALL entertained by her.
She began pointing at Rodrigo and loudly mocking him in a childish tone, using all the hip and cool terms she had at her disposal. "CRINGE! CRINGE LORD! EPIC FAIL! CRINGE COMPILATION 2019! TOP 10 EPIC FAILS OF ALL TIME! WATCHMOJO TOP 10 BAD POEMS!" The audience collectively burst into laughter. Whether they hated her or loved her, whether they thought of her as a car crash or a goddess... Everyone had their own reason for why they couldn't take their eyes off her.
The moderator jumped in. "Mrs. Schroeder, that's too much! You broke the word limit and must stop."
Blair looked at the moderator violently, walking up to him and telling him off straight up. "NO." A few feminist women in the audience already began to shriek like banshees in support of Blair. "You know why I'm not done? Because I'm over being stopped by this stupid European system! You can try to tame me and stop me from talking, but I'll transcend the rules just like I'll transcend all expectations when I become premier." The few certain supporters Blair had continued screaming in her support while the majority watched in shock.
The moderator gulped and let the frightening woman have her way. Now aware of just how much she can get away with, Blair jumped into the audience and began talking to the European people directly.
"You know why I'm DONE? Like... Done, done?" The audience collectively nodded, dying to know why! "Because the last two times I ran, I was in an European party too. But do you know what they told me? Oh Blair, we will support your goal to become commissioner but you are not getting premier. We will give you our third and second spots on the voting ballot, and you should be grateful to us for that." The audience gasped, shocked by the insider information about party politics.
"But I took it, because when you are young and don't know your worth - you play by the rules and do what good girls do... What... Ha... GOOD..." She rolled her eyes, not sure whether to laugh or cry at the difference between good (corrupt, successful) and good (ethical, unrecognized) politicians. "...What the so-called GOOD politicians do. I played the game to become Commissioner of Internal Affairs first and then later on Foreign Affairs too, working harder than any one of my colleagues. But no matter how amazing I did, people refused to support me. They refused to look at me as a serious contender for premier. "
At this point, this wasn't a debate - it was group therapy/an emotional Ted Talk. Blair's few strong supporters already began crying but everyone collectively warmed up to her. Whether they agreed with her politics or not, they all identified with the #quirky #relatable Queen's experience of feeling overlooked. Though she dramatized her experiences to appear like more of a victim than she was, it was real enough to reach into people's hearts.
"So this time, I decided to go at it my own way. As an independent woman, with no UEC, EPA, ECL... Whatever the fuck their names are... Behind me. I decided to run for premier all alone, having faith that the European people will elect me even if I don't play the fake ass game of smooching with the most powerful people and kissing the asses of people I secretly despise to secure their vote."
"Why? Do you wanna know why?" The audience nodded, hooked. "Because I believe that the most worthy person should be Premier, not the most well connected! In fact, if I become Premier, my first act won't be to go and celebrate with the EPA - laughing about how I kept my party in power by selling Europeans some clichéd winds of change bullshit. No! If I win, my first move will be hiring only the best, most qualified and best intentioned people - and getting all the corrupt politicians straight out of Europolis!"
"Blair von Schroeder'a Europe will be an Europe that appreciates... No... CELEBRATES the individual! The INDIVIDUAL! The person who is hell bent on making the world a better place and doesn't take no for an answer. The person who will never be silenced by the powerful, corrupt authorities - but the person who will keep on pushing through any obstacle thrown at him. That's what I want for you. Europe. That's what I want for you." Blair teared up, but maintained her regal posture as she walked back to the stage.
The audience was shocked and silent as she walked, but by the time she came back to her spot and looked back at them - they loudly cheered for her and encouraged her, inspiring more tears in Blair. Even though she might still lose the Premier spot, she won the hearts of many Europeans who now saw her as a noble rebel. In her own way, she already won.
Meanwhile, in Red Croatia...
Blair's publicist's phone started ringing like crazy and he started booking her for the next issue of Cosmopolitan, suggesting the title Sexy Cougar Conquers Menopause AND Europe.
