Posts made by Red Croatia

Nation Name: Red Croatia
Artist: Lepa Brena
Song: Boliš I Ne Prolaziš
Link to youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPKP6NJ_Ck4&ab_channel=LepaBrena
Vote deliverer with their image linked: Paulina Porizkova
Link to your flag: https://imgc.artprintimages.com/img/print/flag-of-the-imperial-habsburg-dynasty-circa-1700_u-l-q1hfzfx0.jpg?artHeight=550&artPerspective=n&artWidth=550&background=fbfbfb

@Inquista
Nation Name: Ree Croatia
Artist: Severina
Song: Djevojka Sa Sela
Link to YouTube: https://youtu.be/9-WLDKlSF60?si=CVNV8Sj6qFQmAve5
Vote deliverer with their image linked: Blair Von Schroeder
Link to your flag:

Will add links on laptop.

Nation Name: Red Croatia
Artist: Domagoj
Song: Moja Posljednja I Prva Ljubavi
Link to youtube: https://youtu.be/UCf1wENzlDY
Vote deliverer with their image linked: Tereza Kesovija
Link to your flag

can I please get a consistent spot without being removed thirteen times since people here are simply not grasping the concept that even though I've been roleplaying here since 2013 that I am a "take long breaks but consistent" girlie and not a "active for a while then never to be seen again" girlie get yourselves together it's been over a decade babes obama was president when i joined sugar

and since both 42 and great substitute 24 are both taken let the children keep them and let me move my country geographically again like i am jews creating israel and move me to 18 or something but for fucks sake can we keep it this way

just please stop x-ing my country off the map when you know i'll only stop roleplaying when all the sexy people leave this region but they're not an extinct species (yet) so get it together people

none of this would be happening if blair von schroeder was premier

and pls dont make me copy paste my TWO THOUSAND THIRTEEN application here can a bitch get a break you know im tired baby

i know ur not removing some oldies because of historical significance or whatever to the region but baby im one of them and it is time yall start to see it because this is getting embarassing, if you packaged all the CUNT i serevd here and brought it into china we would fix their boy-to-girl ratio

give me my hard earned respect as an iconic veteran you lil fuckers

thank you youre welcome

"Ah, not this time wasting bitch again. I gave her a sobby fake monologue that I needed 2 seconds to think of! What more does she want from me before she lets me fuck her?" Johnny was furious. He wanted to beat her and her boyfriend up, but he contained dhis agression and decided to channel it productively. "Excuse me for a moment."

Johnny went to the main stage and decided to sabotage V's part of the BTS performance. "You pussy stealing pussy, I won't let you get away with this..." When the band finally end up on stage, V will get an unpleasant surprise.

When Johnny came back, he decided to shit out a new excuse just to get Mikaela off of him. "My beloved, I'm so sorry, I realized I'm not good enough for you after all. I'm the problem, not you! I will always regret losing you and miss you forever, but I will never be able to compete for you. Stay with your current boyfriend, my beloved, but know that I will cry for you every night. I'll never forget the day I saw you on Christian Mingle. I love you, I truly do."

Johnny was fucking annoyed yet again. "Ugh, why can't I just beat everyone I don't like up. For the love of Sylvester Stallone!" His plan to make the BTS ladyboys uncomfortable wasn't as successful as he wanted it to be, but he wasn't going to give up. "I just need to find a way to get them out of here without being persecuted for mass murder... again."

When Johnny saw Mikaela, he was inwardly shocked. "Ah, that bitch from Christian Mingle that said she only goes to second base on the first date. A time waster. What the fuck is she doing here?" But in spite of his inward shock and disdain, he showed no emotion outwardly. Like a real man.

"Oh, so she's an Archbishop, eh? You know, when Aleksandra got pregnant with Archbishop Craticus, she lost her position as a Queen. But I feel that things will have a very different ending if I knock up a woman Archbishop. I think it's time to continue the long standing tradition of Red Croatians getting head from Inquistan religious figureheads. Mwahahaha!"

Without hesitation, Johnny came over to Mikaela and seductively grabbed her. "Mikaela, my dearest! I have been looking for you for so long! Ever since I saw your picture on Christian Mingle, I had this feeling that you were the right woman for me, but I was scared! Petrified, even! I was so immature and scared of love, but I won't let it happen again! I went to therapy, paid Shallon Lester 40 dollars for a question about you, read all of your Ambitious Babe Inc. posts, and researched my toxic male psychology with the help of Cosmopolitan! Please, my love, give me a second chanc,e, I will never break your heart again!"

Johnny eyerolled. "I'm so fucking sick of not being able to beat people up. Thankfully, I grew up in the nation of passive agressive behavior. I know exactly how to play it."

"You know what, you're right. Eminem sucks and has a small dick! I've seen it personally. No homo!" He laughed and wrapped his arm around Carlos. "You know what, let me help you prep those lady boys for the big show! Let's go meet them backstage."

Carlos and Johnny went to the backstage where BTS was told to be at, which looked more like a male locker room. It smelled like sweat, chocolate scented AXE, hair gel, and had only one shower without a curtain. "Hello lady boys! Uhhh... I mean, hello boys! Me and the big boss are over here to make you uncomfortabl- help you prepare for your show! Since you've just landed from your flight, I think the first thing you should do is shower. Me and Carlos should get clean, too."

"You know, I'm really glad that you're going to keep on making good music. The world needs more good, manly, strong songs! Which reminds me... why are you going to let all of those little pussy boys perform at your wedding? A strong, powerful man like you should have somebody better entertaining him at his own wedding than a bunch of fake Asian ladyboys. Maybe we should get them to fly back home and get a real entertainer like Eminem on stage, eh?"

Johnny was thrilled to see Carlos talking like an immature 13 year old boy in a locker room. Seeing him describe the love of his life as a fine piece of ass earned Johnny's respect. "Maybe these faggots aren't that bad." he thought.

"Ah, you got it going on then! You made your own money, and now you can get your boi to make sure you're taken care of. Are you gonna keep on working or will you help Tommy spend tax payer money for the rest of your life?"

Johnny von Aquarius

Johnny was so fucking annoyed dealing with this bitch. He needed to be resourceful. He pointed at the open gates and shouted. "Oh look, Cher is announcing that she's touring with the Mamma Mia 2 soundtrack at the building next door!"

"Oh my God, really???" Paloma screamed and ran, this time voluntarily leaving. But an unexpected twist happened, Carlos started running too. "Ah shit, I forgot this is a gay wedding." Thankfully, Carlos ran at the speed of 0,34km/h, so Johnny caught him and thought of a more elaborate lie. "Oh, my bad, she's actually gonna announce that next week. But keep the information top secret. Now, tell me how do you feel about getting married?"

Johnny von Aquarius

"Oh, a feisty woman? Yeah, I haven't dealt with this... living in FUCKING RED CROATIA." He eyerolled before starting to reason with her, the only way he knew how to with a woman. "Look here sweetie, if you walk away from here I am going to tell Queen Irene to post you on her Instagram story with the caption 'Love this song, what a bop xoxo' and save your flop career. Ok?"

Johnny von Aquarius

After a long night of manwhoring, Johnny sent his prostitutes home so that he could sleep in peace. He laid there naked, manspread all over his bed, and got his 6 hours of quality sleep (6 because Arnold Schwarznegger said 6 is all you need). After dreaming about having a dick as big as the Eiffel Tower and being able to fuck the whole world, he was woken up by his Tony Robbins motivational speech alarm.

"YOUR THOUGHTS... CREATE YOUR REALITY!
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A GOOD LIFE, YOU HAVE TO HAVE GOOD THOUGHTS!
THOUGHTS... ARE LIKE LIFTS... AND YOUR BRAIN.... IS LIKE A MUSCLE...
IF YOU WANT TO LIVE A GOOD LIFE, YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG!
SO START YOUR DAY RIGHT. GET UP AND CLAIM YOUR DAY!"

"YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH MANNNN!!!" Johnny roared before jumping out of bed, flexing in the mirror and starting his daily affirmations.

"I am an alpha ubermensch.
I deserve pussy and ass.
I am an intelligent manwhore.

I am power incarnate.
I have iron calves.
My biceps are growing with my every hand gesture.

I am superior.
I am determined.
I am Donald Trump.

I am not weak.
I am not a victim.
I am not Maleeka Lisconzinski.

I am sexy.
I am invincible.
I am Red Croatia.

I am not a loser.
I am not subservient.
I am not Marrakechia."

After finishing with his morning routine, Johnny went to his garage and decisively chose one of his 28 available cars. Before starting to drive, he clicked on some mysterious piece of technology that sent commands to his butler. "I'm going for the Rolls Royce today, Ron. Tell Athena and Nichelle to wait for me in the lounge... naked."

When he got to his private jet, he went to the lounge where he had fun with his two most high quality prostitutes. Because he can last for hours in bed, he was entertained for 4 of the 5 hours it took to fly from Red Croatia to Ibiza. "Ok ladies, it's time for you to get a good life story out of this." He gave Athena and Nichelle parachutes and some clothes before physically throwing them out of the plane and then went to the pilot. "It's my turn now." Johnny took control over the airplane and showed the professionally trained pilot how it's got. Due to his incredible manly competence, he cut the one hour left it would take to get to Ibiza into 5 minutes. "That's how it's done, loser." He told the pilot before giving him a wedgie. "Ha, can't believe I have to pay such wimps."

After getting out of the plane, he went over to the nearest road and stopped the traffic, GTA: San Andreas style. The guy that was driving the car that just stopped in front of his started cussing him out, but Johnny just casually walked over to his ride, opened his door, grabbed him and threw him out. "Sorry mi muchacho, I have somewheros to beos. It's your lucky dios, I won't run your glateus maximus over." He showed him a middle finger before driving over to wherever the fuck Carlos was.

The moment he entered the room, he shook hands with every man and started yelling at the women. "Oy, chiquititas, get your asses out of here. This is area for the boys. The groomsmen need to get ready. Come on, Paloma. Come on, Taylor. Come on, come on, you can write a hit song about this, just move it bitches." After throwing them out like they were an innocent driver or a high quality prostitute, he went over to give Carlos a big hug. Even though Johnny wasn't as big as Carlos (who was?), he overpowered the fat boi. "Carlitooos! My man!!! It's your big day! How are you feeling?"

"You figure it out on your own, bro. I'm gonna fill this ballot up real quick." Irene sat down at the kitchen table, pulled out a granola bar and proceeded to eat it one tiny bite at a time. As she was filling up the ballot, she managed to eat one fourth of it. "Damn it, I ate too much. I'll have to puke it out later."

"Ok, I absolutely don't have the fucking time to listen to all of this bullshit. Let's just play favorite. Icholasen, 12 points. The only thing better than sending an actually good entry is helping me in my petty pursuits. What the fuck are even these other countries?

Inquista gets none of my points, just like they get none of my Sahara.
Angleter also gets zero for being unfashionably late to this dinner. I understand the desire to avoid being in a room where there will be food, but come on.
Menmiriak or however you spell it.. Your country's name starts with the word men? One point, and only because there are worse contenders.
Conch Kingdom? Why not Queendom? Two points for this blatant lack of misandry in their name.
Union of Duchies? I've heard of celebrity kids who have better names, Three points.
No foaga? My name is no, my sign is no, my number is no, but my foaga? Four points.
Reitzmag and Austria... I'll give Reitz six and Austria five because if the German speakers go to war again, I'd rather side with the country whose name reminds of a dinner at the Ritz.
Ruthund? If it was Ruthbaderginsburg they'd get ten, but this way it's seven.
Fermet gets eight because I can actually kinda recognize this name.
Spain gets ten because they deserve a consoltation prize for dealing with that fat bitch El Trisha. And there we have it."

Irene sent her Eurovoice votes and then took a selfie she put on her Instagram story."Just finished listening to all the Eurovoice entries! I'm so inspired by all of this new music I just heard! #SoMuchTalent"

Heraing Tommy talk about him dating an Eurovoice second place winner got Irene thinking. She rememberd that her country, as usual, was fashionably late to cast their Eurovoice votes, and that she could use this to her advantage. She walked over to Tommy and whispered in his ear. "If you help me sabotage all the other Come Dine With Me stars and let me win this stupid show, I'll make sure Icholasen gets 12 points this time. Msrrakechia may suck so bad that I have no guilt about taking Sahara away from them, but they know their stuff when it comes to rigging irrelevant shit."

Irene teared up as she walked over to receive her Teens Choice Craziest Bifch award. "Oh my Mariah, I can't believe this is happening! I've dreamed of this moment my whole last 5 minutes. I am truly humbled and grateful."

"First of all, I would like to say you're welcome to God for allowing him to create me. I wanna say you're welcome to these bum ass shows I'm participating in right now for giving them their ratings and, last but not least, you're welcome mum for how I allowed your vagina to be graced by my presence when I was making my worldwide debut."

She walked off to a corner and went to the YouTube video that showed her speech. She gave it a thumbs up before arguing in the comments with everyone who said Mikaela was robbed.

In the meantime, Hulk Hogan announced a new category. "And now, nominated for the Thirtiest Slut award are... Prince Tommy and Emperor Artabanos! Show us what you got, boys." The crowd cheered, hoping to see another spectacle.

"You really tried it this time, bro." Irene opened up her flip phone and had a brief conversation once again.

"Hope ya'll are ready for a crossover episode, bros." Suddenly, the hosts of Property Brothers arrived to Mikaela's room. "Let's turn this bedroon... into a glitter room." Suddenly, huge renovations took place at the room and it transofrmed completely. Everything became Jennifer Lopez themed.

Posters of El Trisha were replaced with posters of JLo. "Oh, look what we have here" Irene giggled as she handed Mikaela a ppster of JLo showing her ass that was autographed. "From one fat ass to another. Love and digestion, JLow. Xoxo!"

"You have to win a Teens Choice Award to be in here? Fine, then let me earn my right to be here." She opened up her pink flip phone and called up the Teens Choice Awards committee. After a brief conversation, she turned the TV on to see the Teens Choice Awards, hosted by Hulk Hogan, starting.

"Ladies and dudes, welcome to the 50th annual Teens Choice Awards, where we pick out 24 children to fight to the deat- wait, wrong show. Tonight, nomiated for The Craziest Bitch Award we have... Queen Irene!" The cvrowd cheered. "And the girl who sang the original version of Big Booty!" The crowd cheered even louder.

The cameras started broadcasting Irene and Mikaela, waiting for them to demonstrate their insanity for a chance to win. "I lost Best Butt Slap to HIlary Duff last year, so don't count on me to lose this one too. You first, bro."

"I think it's very cute that you invited the Queen of Red Croatia on the show, and you expect me to..." Irene gagged at the thought of eating. "...do the E word. Disgusting." Once she was told what the first meal will be, she was unimpressed. "Gluten free? Cruelty free? I don't believe in free things, bro. I only eat food that's gluten rich and cruetly rich. Get it together, bro."

Upon her arrival, Irene didn't even bother greeting MIkaela. She pretended to have to go to the bathroom and started snooping around Mikaela's humble home. "I knew that she said her home is humble, but only ten guest bathrooms? This is positively medieval."

She immediately went to look for Mikaela's bedroom, keeping an eye out for a door that had some tacky decoration on it to give out that Mikaela inhabits it.

Celebrity Photo: Everybody knows how hot Irene is. Another picture is redundant.
Celebrity Name: kween Irene von Taurus
Chosen Charity: Bikini Waxes 4 The Homeless.

Nation Name: Red Croatia
Halloween or Revenge: Halloween. Queen China doesn't have hate in her heart, so she can't seek revenge.
Artist: Anne China That Bitch McClain
Song: Calling All The Chris Brown Stans
Link to youtube: https://youtu.be/bmSpn3EnsE0
Vote deliverer with their image linked: Can't link RN. It'll be someone wearing a slutty bunny Halloween costume tho. Maybe Judi Dench.
Link to your flag: I can't link skdnvchcf you have it
Room in the haunted chateau: Whatever you could have comfortable sex in.