Johnny was fucking annoyed yet again. "Ugh, why can't I just beat everyone I don't like up. For the love of Sylvester Stallone!" His plan to make the BTS ladyboys uncomfortable wasn't as successful as he wanted it to be, but he wasn't going to give up. "I just need to find a way to get them out of here without being persecuted for mass murder... again."

When Johnny saw Mikaela, he was inwardly shocked. "Ah, that bitch from Christian Mingle that said she only goes to second base on the first date. A time waster. What the fuck is she doing here?" But in spite of his inward shock and disdain, he showed no emotion outwardly. Like a real man.

"Oh, so she's an Archbishop, eh? You know, when Aleksandra got pregnant with Archbishop Craticus, she lost her position as a Queen. But I feel that things will have a very different ending if I knock up a woman Archbishop. I think it's time to continue the long standing tradition of Red Croatians getting head from Inquistan religious figureheads. Mwahahaha!"

Without hesitation, Johnny came over to Mikaela and seductively grabbed her. "Mikaela, my dearest! I have been looking for you for so long! Ever since I saw your picture on Christian Mingle, I had this feeling that you were the right woman for me, but I was scared! Petrified, even! I was so immature and scared of love, but I won't let it happen again! I went to therapy, paid Shallon Lester 40 dollars for a question about you, read all of your Ambitious Babe Inc. posts, and researched my toxic male psychology with the help of Cosmopolitan! Please, my love, give me a second chanc,e, I will never break your heart again!"

"Ah, not this time wasting bitch again. I gave her a sobby fake monologue that I needed 2 seconds to think of! What more does she want from me before she lets me fuck her?" Johnny was furious. He wanted to beat her and her boyfriend up, but he contained dhis agression and decided to channel it productively. "Excuse me for a moment."

Johnny went to the main stage and decided to sabotage V's part of the BTS performance. "You pussy stealing pussy, I won't let you get away with this..." When the band finally end up on stage, V will get an unpleasant surprise.

When Johnny came back, he decided to shit out a new excuse just to get Mikaela off of him. "My beloved, I'm so sorry, I realized I'm not good enough for you after all. I'm the problem, not you! I will always regret losing you and miss you forever, but I will never be able to compete for you. Stay with your current boyfriend, my beloved, but know that I will cry for you every night. I'll never forget the day I saw you on Christian Mingle. I love you, I truly do."

can I please get a consistent spot without being removed thirteen times since people here are simply not grasping the concept that even though I've been roleplaying here since 2013 that I am a "take long breaks but consistent" girlie and not a "active for a while then never to be seen again" girlie get yourselves together it's been over a decade babes obama was president when i joined sugar

and since both 42 and great substitute 24 are both taken let the children keep them and let me move my country geographically again like i am jews creating israel and move me to 18 or something but for fucks sake can we keep it this way

just please stop x-ing my country off the map when you know i'll only stop roleplaying when all the sexy people leave this region but they're not an extinct species (yet) so get it together people

none of this would be happening if blair von schroeder was premier

and pls dont make me copy paste my TWO THOUSAND THIRTEEN application here can a bitch get a break you know im tired baby

i know ur not removing some oldies because of historical significance or whatever to the region but baby im one of them and it is time yall start to see it because this is getting embarassing, if you packaged all the CUNT i serevd here and brought it into china we would fix their boy-to-girl ratio

give me my hard earned respect as an iconic veteran you lil fuckers

thank you youre welcome

Nation Name: Red Croatia
Halloween or Revenge: Halloween. Queen China doesn't have hate in her heart, so she can't seek revenge.
Artist: Anne China That Bitch McClain
Song: Calling All The Chris Brown Stans
Link to youtube: https://youtu.be/bmSpn3EnsE0
Vote deliverer with their image linked: Can't link RN. It'll be someone wearing a slutty bunny Halloween costume tho. Maybe Judi Dench.
Link to your flag: I can't link skdnvchcf you have it
Room in the haunted chateau: Whatever you could have comfortable sex in.

Johnny von Aquarius

After a long night of manwhoring, Johnny sent his prostitutes home so that he could sleep in peace. He laid there naked, manspread all over his bed, and got his 6 hours of quality sleep (6 because Arnold Schwarznegger said 6 is all you need). After dreaming about having a dick as big as the Eiffel Tower and being able to fuck the whole world, he was woken up by his Tony Robbins motivational speech alarm.

"YOUR THOUGHTS... CREATE YOUR REALITY!
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A GOOD LIFE, YOU HAVE TO HAVE GOOD THOUGHTS!
THOUGHTS... ARE LIKE LIFTS... AND YOUR BRAIN.... IS LIKE A MUSCLE...
IF YOU WANT TO LIVE A GOOD LIFE, YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG!
SO START YOUR DAY RIGHT. GET UP AND CLAIM YOUR DAY!"

"YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH MANNNN!!!" Johnny roared before jumping out of bed, flexing in the mirror and starting his daily affirmations.

"I am an alpha ubermensch.
I deserve pussy and ass.
I am an intelligent manwhore.

I am power incarnate.
I have iron calves.
My biceps are growing with my every hand gesture.

I am superior.
I am determined.
I am Donald Trump.

I am not weak.
I am not a victim.
I am not Maleeka Lisconzinski.

I am sexy.
I am invincible.
I am Red Croatia.

I am not a loser.
I am not subservient.
I am not Marrakechia."

After finishing with his morning routine, Johnny went to his garage and decisively chose one of his 28 available cars. Before starting to drive, he clicked on some mysterious piece of technology that sent commands to his butler. "I'm going for the Rolls Royce today, Ron. Tell Athena and Nichelle to wait for me in the lounge... naked."

When he got to his private jet, he went to the lounge where he had fun with his two most high quality prostitutes. Because he can last for hours in bed, he was entertained for 4 of the 5 hours it took to fly from Red Croatia to Ibiza. "Ok ladies, it's time for you to get a good life story out of this." He gave Athena and Nichelle parachutes and some clothes before physically throwing them out of the plane and then went to the pilot. "It's my turn now." Johnny took control over the airplane and showed the professionally trained pilot how it's got. Due to his incredible manly competence, he cut the one hour left it would take to get to Ibiza into 5 minutes. "That's how it's done, loser." He told the pilot before giving him a wedgie. "Ha, can't believe I have to pay such wimps."

After getting out of the plane, he went over to the nearest road and stopped the traffic, GTA: San Andreas style. The guy that was driving the car that just stopped in front of his started cussing him out, but Johnny just casually walked over to his ride, opened his door, grabbed him and threw him out. "Sorry mi muchacho, I have somewheros to beos. It's your lucky dios, I won't run your glateus maximus over." He showed him a middle finger before driving over to wherever the fuck Carlos was.

The moment he entered the room, he shook hands with every man and started yelling at the women. "Oy, chiquititas, get your asses out of here. This is area for the boys. The groomsmen need to get ready. Come on, Paloma. Come on, Taylor. Come on, come on, you can write a hit song about this, just move it bitches." After throwing them out like they were an innocent driver or a high quality prostitute, he went over to give Carlos a big hug. Even though Johnny wasn't as big as Carlos (who was?), he overpowered the fat boi. "Carlitooos! My man!!! It's your big day! How are you feeling?"

Johnny von Aquarius

"Oh, a feisty woman? Yeah, I haven't dealt with this... living in FUCKING RED CROATIA." He eyerolled before starting to reason with her, the only way he knew how to with a woman. "Look here sweetie, if you walk away from here I am going to tell Queen Irene to post you on her Instagram story with the caption 'Love this song, what a bop xoxo' and save your flop career. Ok?"

Luke had no idea what was going to happen at the party. He stressed out about what to wear and how to act to such a degree, he found himself googling "how to not be a loser at a party".

He hoped that this party would help him make friends, something he desperately craved, and was terrified of the possibility of being a misfit again.

He went through every possible scenario in his head while waiting for his roommate to ask him to head out.

Luke's search history started looking more and more interesting as he waited.

18:37 how to politely reject drugs at a party
18:39 excuses for why you can't snort cocaine
18:45 whar drinks do cool kids drink at parties
18:51 are college girls really that easy?
18:57 why do we crave social approval
19:10 how to live alone and like it
19:22 was marilyn monroe killed
19:25 sylbester stallone quotes about loneliness
19:43 taylor swift legs

Johnny von Aquarius

Johnny was so fucking annoyed dealing with this bitch. He needed to be resourceful. He pointed at the open gates and shouted. "Oh look, Cher is announcing that she's touring with the Mamma Mia 2 soundtrack at the building next door!"

"Oh my God, really???" Paloma screamed and ran, this time voluntarily leaving. But an unexpected twist happened, Carlos started running too. "Ah shit, I forgot this is a gay wedding." Thankfully, Carlos ran at the speed of 0,34km/h, so Johnny caught him and thought of a more elaborate lie. "Oh, my bad, she's actually gonna announce that next week. But keep the information top secret. Now, tell me how do you feel about getting married?"

"I think it's very cute that you invited the Queen of Red Croatia on the show, and you expect me to..." Irene gagged at the thought of eating. "...do the E word. Disgusting." Once she was told what the first meal will be, she was unimpressed. "Gluten free? Cruelty free? I don't believe in free things, bro. I only eat food that's gluten rich and cruetly rich. Get it together, bro."

Upon her arrival, Irene didn't even bother greeting MIkaela. She pretended to have to go to the bathroom and started snooping around Mikaela's humble home. "I knew that she said her home is humble, but only ten guest bathrooms? This is positively medieval."

She immediately went to look for Mikaela's bedroom, keeping an eye out for a door that had some tacky decoration on it to give out that Mikaela inhabits it.

Johnny was thrilled to see Carlos talking like an immature 13 year old boy in a locker room. Seeing him describe the love of his life as a fine piece of ass earned Johnny's respect. "Maybe these faggots aren't that bad." he thought.

"Ah, you got it going on then! You made your own money, and now you can get your boi to make sure you're taken care of. Are you gonna keep on working or will you help Tommy spend tax payer money for the rest of your life?"

Detailed results

’’In second place, we have the amazing sultry yet classy entry from Icholasen! Now, what I really liked about this song was that she kept all her clothes on for the video, but she was fucking us with her eyes, her demeanor. She showed the girls how you really get that Eurovoice high placement, and that is no tall task.’’

’’And their presenter! My gosh! Now this is a woman who se photo I show to my plastic surgeon. I have no idea what she does to stay looking this hot, but hey, perhaps we should learn from her and start singing depressed French music. You go queen!’’

’’But of course, this fucking means...’’

’’Red Croatia won.’’

The crowd cheers wildly, as Joan sighs.

Fuck, I hope I dont have to do this dumb shit next time, but we did deserve it. Helene, you served cunt, and our presenter...

’’Fuck it Alex, you look damn good too. THE BLONDE CROATIAN BITCHES ARE WINNING, AND WE ARE STAYING ON TOP BABY. NOW LET US LISTEN TO HELENE SLAY ONCE MORE!!!’’

The crowd gathers for an emotional performance of Atemlos Durch Die Nacht, enjoying the cunt being served in front of them.

’’In third place, we have Spain! Great job, the song served cunt, and Europe was absorbed by it.’’

’’As we can see, the presenter is serving as much as the song. Now that is a good ass looking woman. From the way she stands, it is like she is telling us... Yeah, I could fuck with the jury to secure my country the win, but I don’t have to. Great job, chiquitita!’’

’’And then we have the Latina bad bitches from California, that SADLY CANNOT BE HERE EITHER. Yo, maybe if you sent a proper presenter, you wouldnt be 4th and get your place on the podium. But alas, let us see who is winning this shit...’’

’’Next up we have a tie between two depressed Asian women, Inquista and Ethile. I am not sure if they actually tied or my racist counter mixed them up, but let’s just roll with this shit.’’

’’Finally, somebody who actually deserves to wear the Inquistan national costume! See, it is ugly, but at least she isn’t offending anyone wearing it. Except my eyes.’’

’’And then we have White Guy Nm 19520. Ok, next.’’

’’And in seventh place we have an overplayed Leagio classic, and a presenter that could not have made it here. Well fuck you too, Leagio, I bet the presenter was ugly as shi anyway.’’’

’’And in eight place we have, shockingly, an average looking Latina woman sensually singing about her feelings! What the fuck, I thought this is the kind of dumbfuckery people vote for... Anyways...’’

’’Fucking mess. Go back home and dress yourself properly young boy! Inquistan culture is NOT your costume!’’

’’Okay, ninth place, we are getting to the point where you sucked but it is not super embarassing to be be in this bracket anymore. Fremet! Another trifecta of straight people singing together in fucking RED CROATIA during fucking EUROVOICE. Damn it, when will they learn...’’

’’Oh Betty, you gorgeous little dumb slut who I have loved for years, please go and tell your countrymen to get their shit together for next EV. ’’

’’And then in 10th place we have United Duchies.. Chris, I remember how Red Croatia voted about this song. Turned it on Youtube, saw the length, and put it only above Mishar. Yikes. Let’s see if the presenter is as flop as the boring ass long song.’’

)

’’Ooookaaay, not too bad, she is kinda fuckable if you are into mediocre women going through a mid life crisis and trying to become rock stars. I see the niche appeal. Sadly, Europe did not.’’

’’Next up we have Brickston, the country that chose to send thre men to send together. The premise is promising, but none of them were gay, flamboyant, nor promoting their music on Grindr. On the contrary, they were aggressively foreign and homosexual. You can see how that worked on Eurovoice... 11th place.’’

’’Just like the song, the presenter is mediocre and white, fuckable if you are horny enough.’’