Johnny von Aquarius
After a long night of manwhoring, Johnny sent his prostitutes home so that he could sleep in peace. He laid there naked, manspread all over his bed, and got his 6 hours of quality sleep (6 because Arnold Schwarznegger said 6 is all you need). After dreaming about having a dick as big as the Eiffel Tower and being able to fuck the whole world, he was woken up by his Tony Robbins motivational speech alarm.
"YOUR THOUGHTS... CREATE YOUR REALITY!
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A GOOD LIFE, YOU HAVE TO HAVE GOOD THOUGHTS!
THOUGHTS... ARE LIKE LIFTS... AND YOUR BRAIN.... IS LIKE A MUSCLE...
IF YOU WANT TO LIVE A GOOD LIFE, YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG!
SO START YOUR DAY RIGHT. GET UP AND CLAIM YOUR DAY!"
"YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH MANNNN!!!" Johnny roared before jumping out of bed, flexing in the mirror and starting his daily affirmations.
"I am an alpha ubermensch.
I deserve pussy and ass.
I am an intelligent manwhore.
I am power incarnate.
I have iron calves.
My biceps are growing with my every hand gesture.
I am superior.
I am determined.
I am Donald Trump.
I am not weak.
I am not a victim.
I am not Maleeka Lisconzinski.
I am sexy.
I am invincible.
I am Red Croatia.
I am not a loser.
I am not subservient.
I am not Marrakechia."
After finishing with his morning routine, Johnny went to his garage and decisively chose one of his 28 available cars. Before starting to drive, he clicked on some mysterious piece of technology that sent commands to his butler. "I'm going for the Rolls Royce today, Ron. Tell Athena and Nichelle to wait for me in the lounge... naked."
When he got to his private jet, he went to the lounge where he had fun with his two most high quality prostitutes. Because he can last for hours in bed, he was entertained for 4 of the 5 hours it took to fly from Red Croatia to Ibiza. "Ok ladies, it's time for you to get a good life story out of this." He gave Athena and Nichelle parachutes and some clothes before physically throwing them out of the plane and then went to the pilot. "It's my turn now." Johnny took control over the airplane and showed the professionally trained pilot how it's got. Due to his incredible manly competence, he cut the one hour left it would take to get to Ibiza into 5 minutes. "That's how it's done, loser." He told the pilot before giving him a wedgie. "Ha, can't believe I have to pay such wimps."
After getting out of the plane, he went over to the nearest road and stopped the traffic, GTA: San Andreas style. The guy that was driving the car that just stopped in front of his started cussing him out, but Johnny just casually walked over to his ride, opened his door, grabbed him and threw him out. "Sorry mi muchacho, I have somewheros to beos. It's your lucky dios, I won't run your glateus maximus over." He showed him a middle finger before driving over to wherever the fuck Carlos was.
The moment he entered the room, he shook hands with every man and started yelling at the women. "Oy, chiquititas, get your asses out of here. This is area for the boys. The groomsmen need to get ready. Come on, Paloma. Come on, Taylor. Come on, come on, you can write a hit song about this, just move it bitches." After throwing them out like they were an innocent driver or a high quality prostitute, he went over to give Carlos a big hug. Even though Johnny wasn't as big as Carlos (who was?), he overpowered the fat boi. "Carlitooos! My man!!! It's your big day! How are you feeling?"