The Europolis Post
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Behind the Headlines: Get to Know the Real Piane Daggot
Piane Daggot, thank you so much for joining us via hologram today. Your connection looks great in 4K! How is the hologram campaign going? Are you using one of those 5G networks that Juncker loves to talk about?
Hey squirrel friend! I’m serving hologram realness yas. I would to be, however I’m just borrowing the wifi at a Starbucks in Europolis.
Ah, that explains why at least 20 voices can be heard coming from your end. Could you tell us what your go-to Starbucks order is?
I always get a strawberry frappe with extra strawberry syrup so it’s red - like the people’s flag.
Sounds delicious! Running for Commissioner for Internal Affairs is pretty demanding, so I imagine you need all the caffeine you can get. Let's get to it. You’re running on a platform of peaceful coexistence, especially in terms of the UNSR. However, if you could make peace between any feuding politicians or celebrities, as Internal Affairs Commissioner, who would they be?
I think Juncker and Winston need to hug it out. Imagine all the Junckers, living life in peace. I feel sorry for the kids, I mean the trains, caught in the middle of it. They'll probably need to choo choo over to therapy after their bitter arguments. Sad!
It would be great if that feud could finally get settled in 2021. You’ve proven yourself a tactical mastermind, as you helped plan Operation Parva Coles during the civil war in Reitzmag. What RTS games helped you prepare for that battle?
Yes, as a veteran I find it therapeutic to play games like that. I particularly enjoy the Red Alert series. It reminds me of my time on the battlefield, fighting for what I believe is right. I am, however, now glad that we have peace in all the conflicts I have served in, and all my battles are now in front of an LED clad gaming computer.
Red Alert is a great game. We also heard that you are quite good at Among Us. Describe your Among Us playstyle. What’s your strategy like? Also, what’s your take on the latest map ‘the Airship’?
As someone who has fought on a front line, I know how to kill. Therefore, yes, I humbly admit I am good at the hit game, "Among Us". I normally kill off any capitalist globalists first. You can tell by their usernames. Anyone who uses words such as "I" or "me" is definitely a globalist. I then skilfully work my way through the crewmates. I enjoy the map, but I think it might be a little too big. I hope the neoliberal market didn't have anything to do with that.
Earlier today, you released a campaign playlist of your favourite songs. We’ll include a link to that playlist here. Can you tell us about your favourite bops on that playlist, and how those songs have personally impacted you?
I chose these hits because they are all such danceable bops. It’s time to celebrate! They are such great bops. Savage by Megan Thee Stallion really speaks to me, as well as Feeling Myself by Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé. These are both empowering tunes, and the playlist tries to include songs that make you feel like THAT bitch. I Am What I Am is also great, we can all be who we want to be. I included Kings and Queens by Ava Max as those are the people I would like to remove from their positions, as a socialist. Ava has a great song, but it doesn’t matter the gender of the monarch, it is still a poor system of government! I also included some Eurovoice bops. I am a HUGE fan of the contest. Skorápy Orechu is one of my favourite songs of all time, and I heard it for the first time at Eurovoice in Cesae Vauvra in 1985. I also chose You Don’t Own Me by Lesley Gore, I like to imagine that the means of production are singing this song to the bourgeoisie. You don’t own me! These are some great songs and I’m sure your readers will get a kick out of them too.
Tell Me Ma? Skořápky Ořechů? Savage? Good taste. On a similar note, could you give us any TV recommendations? What series are you currently binging on Netflix?
I am currently binging "Border Patrol: Icholasen." It's kind of an old series, but it still holds up. It's from around 2014 and follows a group of border patrol agents as they try to keep Icholasen free of dairy produce, and other illicit and harmful substances. It really is amazing to what lengths people will go to to smuggle dairy into Icholasen - that in itself makes it very enjoyable, but sometimes scary. It's great for binging as it is always new. There are no two episodes alike. As a Minister in the Interior department in Security, I met members of this newly modernised patrol. It is still interesting though to see how it operated under the old regime.
As you know, June is LGBTQ Pride Month. Who are some of your favourite drag queens?
In Inquista, it HAS to be Madame Marco, but I have many favourites from all across the continent. When I'm in Prague, I love to visit a bar called DefenestrateHER, a mainly lesbian bar that serves drinks in window-shaped glasses with the handle being some poor protestant being pushed out. There is a drag queen there called Dominika Dvořáková who does the best impression of Marie Rottrová I've ever seen in my life. She does all the songs. Also, the late great Nicoleizienne, Divine, is one of my favourites. She often performed in London in the 1980s where I worked as a Communist Party Official. It was great to blow off steam after work with a drink and a show.
Sounds like you know how to enjoy a good Friday night. Let's turn this into a scenario. Two countries are negotiating for peace after a conflict, and you have to mediate between two foreign ministers. The two ministers want to talk over some food and drinks. What sort of restaurant are you taking them to, and what will your drink of choice be?
I would take them to a tapas bar in Ibiza because it encourages cooperation. Tit for tat. You can have some jamón if I can have some calamari. They will soon get the idea to translate that into their problems. As for drinks, of course I love Mojitos. I was famously photographed and SHAMED on social media for having one on public transport. But now I’m head of the Nicova so who’s laughing now?
You're an avid user of public transport, and your Commission campaign is being run in a carbon-neutral way. Protecting the environment is clearly very important to you. Do you have any pets, and what animal do you think is very underrated?
I don’t have any pets right now, unfortunately. Animals need a lot of care, and since I’m so busy I know I couldn’t give them the love and attention they need. If I could choose, though, I would get some terrapins. They are so small and cute, definitely underrated. I’m not sure what kind of care they need, but they are freshwater tropical so it could be relatively intense! But one day I will have some terrapins.
Aww, those are very cute. Now, onto a very short round of some word association. I'll give you a word, and you tell me what word first comes to your mind. Ready? Marx.
Prescient.
Oppression.
Capitalism.
Trains.
8G.
Ice cream.
Dangerous.
Freedom.
Marie Rottrová.
Ok, I now have 4 words for you, and you have to pick one to describe yourself: hotter, sweeter, cooler, butter. Which ones resonates with you?
Butter.
Thank you so much for joining us from Europolis, Piane. It was a pleasure to have you.
No, thank YOU!
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Postimees: Our Electoral Predictions
From arduous research into past election patterns and polling, we have constructed the following electoral predictions.
Legend
- white: tossup
- red: PEL
- yellow: EPA
- orange: independent, center-left
- blue: independent, center-right
Only two countries are expected to be tossups this election - Fremet, whose electorate is likely to continue viewing the UNSR as a major issue - and may dislike Juncker's more hardline stance towards the nation, especially in contrast with its government's softening policy - and Ruthund, which, as with previous elections, is likely to see national sovereignty as its primary issue.
Both of these nations are expected, however, to see increasingly weakening support for Juncker in the coming days. With his pledge to not implement the protocols for détente contained within the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen - and thus to violate Constitutional protocols - the electorate in both nations is likely to turn away from him.
Turning to oddities, we now analyze Inquista and Vayinaod.
Inquista continues its march leftwards; however, EPA and PEL candidates are nominally tied there, almost exactly. With Čikarová able to win an election quite strongly there despite not even running, however, our analysts believe that it is more likely that the PEL will come out on top.
Vayinaod is stranger - it is likely that it is the best choice among three relatively mediocre candidates for them. Koline's campaign, focused primarily on creating an international economic system more in line with modern economics, may be distancing and heavy-handed for them; Juncker, on the other hand, may be seen as bordering on populist, lacking real substance and detail and making up for it with increasingly "radical" ideas against the Council.
The nations that Koline is to take, save for her home nation, which may not even be able to vote, are themselves quite strange. The United Duchies seems to be voting for her simply because Juncker is seen as the candidate of impersonal neoliberalism and Čikarová a communist; Reitzmag for similar reasons.
The remainder of nations, save for those expected to abstent, typically vote with the EPA.
Those expected to abstent will likely do so in the absence of true Eurosceptic candidates.
In terms of changes, several benefit Koline - with her having seen large "jumps" in support in several nations; however, these are not as important; on the other hand, Juncker has seen increases in popularity in many nations as well, generally those he was already likely to win.
The Internal Affairs election continues with a relatively similar pattern - the EPA continuing to dominant in its usual heartlands, Fremet and Ruthund as toss-ups, and the Duxburian Union, Inimicus, and Pravoslaviya as abstenting.
The only differences are with Vayinaod, Istkalen, and Reitzmag, which each likely changed as a result of the presence or absence of better candidates.
It effectively is a reflection of the Premiership race, with little change having occurred.
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EUnews Polling for EU Premier Commission Elections
Juncker wins but 2nd preference will be important
If Commission elections were held today, the European Progressive Alliance's candidate and former Internal Affairs Commissioner, Jean-Claude Juncker, would be elected as Premier Commissioner on a landslide victory to both the Party of the European Left, Sophie Čikarová; and the independent candidate from Istkalen, Isidris Koline, by 6 votes. Still, we can also observe that, while Juncker has a large margin of possible votes, between 6 and 12; both Čikarova and Koline have a way more stable vote base (with a margin between 3 and 5 votes for the Czech candidate and between 2 and 5 for the Istkalenian one)
When it comes to countries, Jean-Claude Juncker (9) would win at Gadalland & Aspern, Nofoaga, Kaitsja, Montenbourg, Spain, Inquista, Leagio, Inimicus and Icholasen. Apart from these countries, he could also win Alkharya, Fremet and Reitzmag, where the Spanish candidate might be doing good. If Juncker got the same amount of votes than on this poll, second preferences would be irrelevant as he would have a majority.
Sophie Čikarova (3) would place in second, gaining Czech Slavia, Vayinaod and Ruthund, which is likely turning for the Czech candidate after she stated that a Čikarova commission would never force Ruthund "off of its selected path", probably meaning to the country's choice to have some business with the Union of Nicoleizian Soviet Republics. Apart from these countries, Čikarova could get the United Duchies, despite being regarded as too far-left, and Fremet.
Finally, Isidris Koline (3) would get his own home nation, Istkalen, Reitzmag and the United Duchies. She will be challenged by Čikarova on this last country, which could drop her to just two votes, and even just one if Reitzmag voted for Juncker. If everything went to plan and she got these 3 votes, she could probably get the Duxburian vote and the Fremetian vote, getting her to earn 5 votes.
Whatever the outcome is, Europe won't take much to discover. In 2 weeks, Europe will finally know which of these candidates will become the next Premier Commissioner.
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Stephanie DeVey: Hello. Today I am joined by Peter Leeson, a candidate with a good shot at becoming our next Internal Affairs Commissioner. Hello Peter.
Peter Leeson: Hello Stephanie, it's great to be here.
SDV: Let's get on with the questions, firstly, I am going to ask a question I will ask all my interviewees for these elections. Please summarise your programme in 3 words.
PL: Sovereignty, Cooperation and Uniting
SDV: In a Europe that is almost dominated by the EPA, have you found running as an independent to be an advantage, or a disadvantage ?
PL: It's been a bit easier as I have been able to tailor my campaign and listen easier. Engagement has to be more direct which is a challenge but also an immense strength. I can listen to concerns and change policy right away, in the EPA I had to send it through committee. So overall I’d say it's far better as I am not beholden to corporate interests and can actually represent the people
SDV: Right. You are among many of our commission candidates who has criticised globalisation, how would you make the current economic system fairer ?
PL: I would focus on co-operation and focus on creating a system where all people matter not just rich elites. I would make it so if a European wide decision is to be made on a big issue or if a significant proportion of Europe oppose an act they can influence it via popular referendum requiring a majority of 55% +1 vote of thew people and 55%+1 of countries to succeed.. This would take power out of the politicians and elites hands and bring power directly back to the countries and the people who after all should be the masters and also remove power from the corporations. I would also look law by law and look at reducing the amount of prescriptive laws with laws focusing more on achieve targets in a way that suits the country , basically we can work together but nations have their sovereignty. This centralisation madness needs to stop, I am not anti-EU I was one of the most most vocal proponents on the EU entry referendum , but the EU has changed too much since then.
SDV: There are many candidates up for this post, most than the Premiership, tell me why you are uniquely qualified for this position ?
PL: I am the only one who is in the centre not beholden to unions or corporate interests at least for IAC post. Furthermore I have worked as PM of the Duchies, and its hard , you learn in that job to compromise , you learn to balance between left wing and right wing and conservatives and liberals and nationalists. I had to balance all those interests to make policy for 7 Duchies and two different cultures. I don’t believe any other candidate has this. I’ve basically led a country that could be described as two different societies opposite to each other in many aspects.
SDV: Of course, as Internal Affairs Commissioner, you will not have supreme power. Ignoring the legislative hurdles, if you could change anything in Europe at the click of a button what would you change ?
PL: I would introduce popular referendums for major issues and constitutional issues to put the people in charge and rewrite laws to be more target driven than specific and prescriptive.
SDV: Yes, this policy has caused quite the stir. So, I must ask you, is your referendum policy really feasible ?
PL: Yes I believe it is workable. Now it might need tweaking around the edges on things such minimum signatures before a vote can be called but ultimately it is workable. I would work out details with all countries but something needs to change, politicians and corporate lobbyists have been in charge long enough its time for the people to be in charge and politicians be the servants as they should be.
SDV: And so finally, who should the EU sanction, and how ?
PL: Simple answer no one new and we should even possibly look at the UNSR issue. Its clear sanctions aren’t working as intended , Duchies just a few months ago would have backed UNSR sanctions but there is change on that, we need to start a dialogue to change things , key to that is democracy requirements but we need to talk , sanctions are only hurting the people . As for new sanctions no one has done anything egregious enough to deserve them , and in Istkalens case its now a different government , Reitzmag for all its got wrong at times is heading in the right direction , we’ve had our differences but I truly believe Reitzmag is heading in the right direction . There is simply no one worthy of sanctioning right now.
okay most typos should have been fixed.SDV: Thank you very much for your time Mr Leeson, and best of luck.
PL: Thank you Stephanie.
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Why Coming Second Isn’t So Bad : The Commission Elections Electoral System
Stephanie DeVey
Coming second in sports is an an excruciating near-loss -- and in other extracurricular activities, it is also usually a bad thing. But, if no one gets a majority of the votes, which seems likely right now in the IAC election, then second preferences, and even third preferences will be paramount to the winner's victory.
Normally, these aren’t useful at all. During the last few years of EPA dominance, most candidates took an outright majority of the votes, and the boffins at the election HQ were sad to find they didn't need to do their maths to decide the winner. However, recently, there have been instances where second preferences made all the difference.
This time, we could see a scenario where the candidate who comes second in the first round, ends up winning on second preferences.
What would or does this mean for European Democracy ? The emergence of multiparty politics (with independents too), rather than the uni-party hegemony of the EPA, indicates either a distaste for their moderate, Europhile platform and perhaps even a breakup of the Union altogether. Or, it could represent an invigoration and a renaissance of European democracy, with more and more people becoming more and more enthused about different candidates than ever before, and less people winning by default.
Whatever it means in the long run, 2nd preferences will be incredibly important in this IAC election, and, who knows, even for the Premiership.
Stephanie DeVey is a writer and broadcaster for NBC, the European Post, and the Copala City Tribune.
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Stephanie DeVey: Hello everyone and welcome to another one of my Commission election interviews ! We are joined by someone known sometimes as 'Sofierce', and sometimes as 'Sofiercesome', but to us she is known as Sofie Čikarová.
Sofie Čikarová: Hello, thank you for inviting me onto the show !
SDV: Let's get our teeth into the real issues facing the EU today. Firstly, like I have asked all the candidates, what 3 words sum up your campaign ?
SČ: Work, Democracy, Peace.
SDV: Very nice - let's get those werqers werqin' !
SČ: Ha.
SDV: Moving on, would you say that the PEL is a puppet of the UNSR / Czech states ?
SČ: The Party of the European Left is a Eurogroup like any other. As such its direction is influenced by its members, but it certainly isn't a puppet of any single member. We in PEL fully believe in and practice equality and democracy.
SDV: You go girlfriend. Now, you have laid out your plans to reduce the negative impacts of globalisation, but are your 'cures' worse than the 'disease' ?
SČ: Well, let us look closer at the disease itself.The problem is that the vast majority of citizens in the EU member states do not own their own land, perhaps even worse, they no longer even own their bodies. Everything was taken from them by few wealthy elites, many of them from outside their own countries. The cure is to take back our lives and our land. The way to do that, is to give larger voices to the labor unions, stop meddling in other affairs of the member states and to further develop the member states, thus reducing their dependance. Do you think that such a cure is worse than the disease? I don't find it being worse, I find it being sensible and I think majority of the people think the same.
SDV: Sexy economic reforms you love to see it. Tell me why you are uniquely qualified for this position.
SČ: Well for once I am not a part of the European Union establishment, my aims are not the same as theirs, I am not in the pocket of any businessman. I like being among the normal people and I am the only candidate who wants to represent their voices. I have no deals with them. I am offer real alternatives and I am consistent in my opinions. Yet I still have some experience from my home country.
SDV: Ignoring the legislative hurdles, if you could change anything in Europe at the click of a button what would you change ?
SČ: Right now, the repeal of condemnation of Nicoleizian revolution is my priority. Securing peace and co-operation is the first step we need to do, regardless of our views the restrictions on sovereigny endanger us all! After that of course my goal is to cut sensless spending and put it on sensible projects that will affect the lives of the people. But you know, it is not possible to change anything by the click of the button, as with everything it is necessary to work for it. And I want to work for it.
SDV: You have attacked Cocx. What is the most significant Cocx era policy, or way of doing things that you would change ?
SČ: Well unlike Cocx I won't try to restrict the member states. Unlike Cocx I won't start crying about the "evil" council when my propositions are denied by them. I will try to talk with the Councillors, but never compromise on the will of the people, their will will always have a priority. What else is there to say about Cocx? After he embarrassed himself spectacularly he did what Merkel did before him, nothing. That is also an example I won't follow, but there is no need to talk about Dr. Cocx anymore, he isn't running, he found enough dignity in himself to stay out.
SDV: And finally, who should the EU sanction, and how ?
SČ: Nobody. Period. That decision belongs to the member states.
SDV: Thank you so much for your time. I hope this has been an informative interview for my viewers and listeners across Europe.
SČ: Thank you for your questions DeVey, I appreciate that you try to bring the candidates views to your audience. Informed person is crucial for any democracy, which is also why our PEL program includes the development of education. Goodbye.
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Stephanie DeVey: I am joined today by the front-runner for the position of Internal Affairs Commissioner - Emma Granger.
Emma Granger: First, I must say what a honor to be here. Thank you for taking the time to make this space.
SDV: As I have asked all my guests, please summarise your programme in 3 words.
EG: My three words: Forward, Unity, and Action.
SDV: And so, the EPA have been in power (on and off) for a long time - what will you do differently ? Do you have any critiques of the Commissioners who have come before you ?
EG: Well Stephanie, If you look at the history of the EPA, you will see that it is we the progressives who have had the best stirs on how to manage the jostling that have come. And time and again, it is to us that the people of this Union have turned to get that balance right, between the instincts to share and to give everyone a fair chance in life. And to look after the poorest and the neediest, and to build a great European Union. But I would also just point out to you that of course nobody, no one party, no one person has a monopoly of wisdom. Nevertheless, history speaks for itself.
My tenure as a member of the European Council is certainly a huge positive start on how we are going to run things differently as Affairs Commissioner. Doing the talk and walking the walk. Not staying silent on the things that must be said and doing the talk on things that must be discussed. I have spent my career fighting for reforms in the system and pushing the envelope to give every European a safe net of what our constitution has consecrated by putting words into acts that truly reflect and guarantee the spirit of what is written. I am someone who loves doing the job, because is what moves me every day.
I believe that every Commissioner respond to the times for which it was elected, my only critique is that we must be aware of the lack of continuity of the good work of others.
SDV: In the debate, you expressed support for globalisation. How do you ensure this is a fair economic system ?
EG: Sure! For some people trade fits into one of the basic messages that many of my fellow candidates had constructed in the minds of some, which is that ‘the other’ is dangerous to us," and that is a message from a place of hate, not of economics. Globalization means we have to re-examine some of our ideas, and look at ideas from other countries, from other cultures, and open ourselves to them. And that's not comfortable for the average person.
Is the simple but powerful message that says “it takes two tango” because our economy as a child does not grow up only in a single home, its upbringing belongs to the community. When this is done well it works for everyone.
SDV: Ms. Granger, tell me why you are uniquely qualified for this position.
EG: When Europe does not lead, the Union is a dangerous and a tragic place. Europeans want someone who will lead; in negotiations, in visits and taking action where is needed. As I said earlier Stephanie, I have spent my career fighting for reforms in the system and pushing the envelope to give every European a safe net of what our constitution has consecrated by putting words into acts that truly reflect and guarantee the spirit of what is written.
I think that being in politics, being in leadership should be as much about listening as talking. That's how I think you can get the information and sort of pick up the nuance that will enable you to do the best possible job. So, not only am I comfortable with it, I think it for the past years I have listened, to women and girls, to social workers, to activists, movements; to people, and this adds value to not only the campaign but how I envision the job I want to get. And this, I think, is what qualifies me for the job.
SDV: Ignoring the legislative hurdles, if you could change anything in Europe at the click of a button what would you change ?
EG: I respond you with this question why are there so many problems in our world today? One word: human greed. On a click of a button that sin needs to go.
SDV: Which of your opponents do you think is the most dangerous and why ?
EG: I think, you know, we shouldn't get into the politics of this back and forth because I don't think it's fair. But I will tell you this, It's now clear that so-called 'fake news', conspiration theories and calling others nicknames of “elites” can have real consequences. Because they fuel Europeans under the label of fear. And those are the most dangerous. But equally dangerous are those who say that we better walk alone than together.
SDV: And finally, what will be the first thing you do as Internal Affairs Commissioner ?
EG: From Day One, I will finish the negotiations with the Spanish delegation at the Bergen Climate Change Conference and proceed with the signing of the Bergen Agreement.
SDV: Thank you so much for joining me, Emma ! It was great talking to you !
EG: Anytime!
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STEPHANIE DEVEY REPORTING WITH EUROPE ELECTS : THE RESULTS OF THE JUNE 2021 COMMISSION ELECTIONS
Stephanie DeVey: Hello and welcome to our election studio. So far, we have 3 results in of an expected circa 18. As the very early results stand, both PEL candidates would be elected - with one having most likely to step down because of electoral law surrounding two candidates being from 2 countries. This, however, will undoubtedly change as the bulk of pro-EPA countries are yet to come.
I am joined by candidate Peter Leeson, who has so far received 1 out of 3 first preference votes. He is certainly still in with a decent chance of winning.
Hello, Mr. Leeson.
Peter Leeson: Hello Stephanie.
SDV: What do you think of the limited votes so far ?
PL: The results with nations voted so far are as expected but we haven't had the sovereignty minded nations vote yet so that will change results over the night.
SDV: And so, what is your prediction right now ?
PL: I certainly predict a wave of anti-eu elite votes to come in later in the night benefiting candidates like myself and Daggot.
SDV: What do you think the results so far say about European democracy ?
PL: The fact a candidate not running won and Juncker came dead last shows that people want democracy and sovereignty and are against Euro-dictators like Juncker and thats a healthy thing
SDV: Thank you so much for your time, no doubt we will come back to you for comment as the evening progresses.
PL: Thank you.
SDV: And so now let's see if any of the votes so far are 'gains' or 'losses'.
SDV: Peter Leeson, at this point in the February election had 2 votes, and now has 1. Though this time he is running for Internal and not Premier, so we have counted his extra vote as a 'gain'. All of these individuals will have gains at the end, but we can see how votes are changing more clearly in the party figures. Independents are down 1 vote in both Internal and the Premiership, and the EPA and PEL are going up by one each. This time last election, as they did not field candidates, the EPA had 0 votes, and now has 1, the PEL had 0 votes for Premier and Internal, and now has 1 for each - Istkalen of course not participating in the previous elections as they were not yet members of the Union. Results will continue to pour in no doubt over the coming days, and analysis will continue and politicians will continue to be interviewed.
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Stephanie DeVey: Hello and welcome back to our election coverage. Now, with the votes of Inquista and Spain, we can see that the EPA is up 2 in both elections, the PEL is up 1 in the Premier election, and 2 in the Internal election, and the independents and up 1, individually, but down 2 and 3 in the premier and internal race respectively.
I am now joined by Jean-Claude Juncker, who is running for Premier of the Commission for the EPA Eurogroup. Welcome, Mr. Juncker.
Jean-Claude Juncker: Hello, thanks for having me.
SDV: The independents have lost 2 votes in the Premier election and 3 votes in the Internal election. What do you make of the independent collapse ?
JCJ: I think it is too soon to comment on the results for independent candidates, but we can see that the independent candidates results are still very low. We will see what the final turnout is.
SDV: What do you think of the limited votes so far ?
JCJ: I think they are really promising for me. I expected to win Inquista and we were really close, so we will need to see what mistake we have done to strike back and win there one more time. There are still many countries to go and I'm confident we will get more votes. Our expectations are simple: we would like to reach the majority of the votes and we hope the campaign and the debate have been helpful.
SDV: And so what is your full prediction right now ?
JCJ: I'm expecting to win the election, but we need to be cautious and wait for the final result.
SDV: Thank you so much for your time Mr. Juncker, and best of luck.
JCJ: Thank you, Stephanie.
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SDV: Hello all and welcome back. We've had a few more results in and we have a shiny new feature - the second round scenario, where we follow the procedure and assign the second and in future perhaps 3rd preferences to the tally, working out who is ahead. Currently, Čikarová and Daggot are winning with 5 votes respectively, to their EPA opponents' 3. This, however, is certainly not a huge lead and there are many EPA nations to come.
To discuss the future of this election in more detail, we're joined now by expert journalist Lex Burnley, an Inquistan commentator for the Europolis Post. Welcome.
Lex Burnley: Hi, thanks for having me.
SDV: It's my pleasure. Firstly, what do you think of the votes so far ?
LB: Things have definitely been going very well for the PEL, and for Sofie Cikarova and Piane Daggot, this evening so far. Of all the votes that have come in, Ruthund and Inquista are the two battleground countries, and both these states have come in for the PEL candidates. The other votes at this point were to be expected. I think both the PEL candidates were considered long-shot candidates, since we have never had PEL commissioners before, but it looks like they could stand a chance now with these sort of results coming in. However, Jean Claude Juncker is definitely a campaign machine, so don't count him out yet, and Emma Granger could have something up her girlboss sleeve as well.
SDV: Look into your crystal ball, and tell me what you think the results will be.
LB: I think both the Premier and the Internal races will be very close. It will definitely come down to 2nd or 3rd preference votes in the end. Cikarova and Daggot are leading right now, but I can see them perhaps later trailing in 1st preferences, but picking up the majority of 2nd and 3rd preferences. Juncker and Granger have the best shot to win the most 1st preference votes, but I don't think they will be popular as down-ballot candidates. If I'm going to be bold, I'd say Daggot has a potential edge to win Internal Affairs, and Juncker has a potential edge for Premier, but things are very much 50/50 right now.
SDV: And so I suppose related to that point, what do you think is causing the move to the left in Inquista ?
LB: Inquistans have always traditionally been more to the left in European affairs than in their home affairs. Archbishop Craticus dominated Inquistan politics at home from 2012 to 2020, leading a strong religious nationalist and conservative movement within the country. Despite this, Inquistans saw Edward Firoux elected as their European Councillor time and time again, with bigger majorities, despite being at odds with Archbishop Craticus and Inquistan nationalists. Now that a new liberal and progressive movement has swept the Inquistan Orthodox Church, we're seeing Inquistans demand a new approach to European affairs as well, and this time, Inquistans are pivoting even more to the left.
SDV: What else do you think we're seeing ?
LB: I think we're also seeing, in Inquista at least, the EPA free-falling in support with the absence of Edward Firoux, who has stepped back from European politics since retiring. There's a big void there, and EPA support is bleeding. Inquistans are looking at Europolis right now, looking for a leading figure, and they just don't see anyone. So I think Inquistans are looking for someone new to represent this new Post-Firoux era. Cikarova, who was originally dubbed 'Sofierce' in Inquista, has a huge base of support and enthusiasm in the country, so people are maybe seeing her as the avatar of the next great European leader.
SDV: Inquista was probably the only country last time to vote for someone with a party backing, what do you make of the total collapse of the independents ? What does that 'lack' of change mean for Inquista ?
LB: It's hard to implement long-lasting change without some sort of cohesive group effort, which often requires some sort of party apparatus or party support. An independent Commissioner can't pass things within the European Council without some sort of Council bloc, and we've seen that now with Premier Cocx and his term. Independents also lack longevity. You're only one person, and with two terms, that means at best you're getting 8 months in office. There's no continuity there once their terms are done. That's not a movement. Parties offer continuity. That's why Inquistans have always turned to the EPA, or now, as it seems, to the PEL, looking for a new approach.
LB: Parties also offer a tangible brand, meaning and discernible characteristics to Inquistan voters. The turnout is way up in this Commission election in Inquista, almost 50%, which is amazing for a European election in Inquista. I'm pretty sure this is a new record. This is because both Juncker and Cikarova are every popular candidates with distinct brands and personalities in Inquista, which helps translate their messaging, and to widespread enthusiasm. Inquistans know exactly what they are about and what they stand for. The same goes for Daggot and Granger too. Koline? Sure she dropped out, but she never really stood a chance anyway. Her platform might've been good, but do Inquistans care? She has no tangible image, no distinguishable personality, no easily recognisable vision, and no movement behind her. 0 enthusiasm. The same goes for Leeson and the other independents.
SDV: Thank you so much for your unique insight on your country's affairs.
LB: No problem !
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SDV: Here are the results so far.
Daggot progresses to the 2nd round due to her 2nd preference from the UD, and rises to 6 votes in the final round due to the 2 second preferences from EPA countries. This means that as of now she would win - but how convincing would this be, really ?
Second preferences are proving to be crucial in the IAC election and to, still, a considerable extent right now in the Premier Election. What is a danger for Daggot is if Granger gets an extra first preference, or Leeson managed to secure the votes of 3 other countries. This is certainly well within the range of possibility as there are many Euro-sceptic nations out there. Piane is doing amazingly well on second preferences, but really needs to step up her game on 1st preferences if she is going to stand a chance.
Čikarová's lead may look large, but it will undoubtedly shrink as more EPA nations vote. There are several traditional EPA heartlands that could go either way, but many still lean heavily to Juncker and the EPA. For this reason we will not be calling the Premier election for quite a while, despite this early lead.
In addition, Juncker's popularity seems to be greater than the continent-wide popularity of the EPA, with many people breaking away to Biden, and to a lesser extent, Leeson, in the Internal election.
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European Commission Elections: 5 Questions for Eilidh Whiteford
The Europolis Post sat down with Eilidh Whiteford, the Korojaunu of (Free) Icholasen, the most-elected Premier Commissioner in European Union history, and popularly-anointed "Super Queen", to discuss the state of the current European Commission race. We asked her 5 questions, and these are her answers.
Korojaunu Whiteford, thank you for making time for us today!
No, thank you! It's my pleasure.
Let's go straight to our first question. What do you make of the results so far, and what, if anything, has surprised you?
I think the support for Biden has been surprising - he didn’t campaign much at all, really. He was not present in people’s lives or on their screens. His debate performance was relatively non-existent.
Perhaps people want that, they want a quiet Commissioner who isn’t malarkey-ing around - so to speak.
I think Biden has also consolidated some of the more Eurosceptic voters, accelerationists who want to destroy the EU by having someone with hopelessly unachievable goals that will never become law, and someone so inexperienced, without the necessary gravitas or charisma to do anything of worth.
Commission elections have often been slam-dunk victories for the EPA in the past. Now, the EPA seems to be struggling in these elections. What's going wrong for them?
I honestly have no idea. Juncker and Granger are on paper incredibly qualified. I would hazard a guess that people want change. But I think they will both scrape through in the end.
I also think the PEL have moderated their unacceptable radicalism, so, really they are not even much different than the EPA, just a little bit more Eurosceptic. They have sort of organised the dissident Eurosceptics who want change, but I am almost certain if they are elected, which is unlikely, their policy agenda will not prove the upset that people think.
You've been elected Premier three times, although you only served twice. What does it take to win a Premiership election?
I think an engaging campaign is important - Juncker did so well at that for his IAC elections, but I think maybe he needed to come up with something new this time? Again, I still think he will win, just with a closer margin.
Even if it is close though, it does not make it less of a win for any of the EPA candidates. Many of my elections were relatively close, and my candidatures were fruitful.
Icholasen has come up a lot in these election conversations and debates. As Korojaunu of (Free) Icholasen, what sort of initiatives would you like to see from the incoming Premier or Internal Affairs Commissioner?
I would like the policy of Cocx to continue, frankly. The EU cannot and should not legitimise rogue states - it really isn’t how the world should work. We need to be steadfast in our resolve to defend freedom.
If Piane Daggot is elected, your government has said you'd grant her Nicoleizian citizenship so she can serve in her role. Yet, you've also said you won't work with her. How would your navigate her Commission term? Would you ever work with her colleague, Sofie Čikarová?
Oh, Piane already has full citizenship. We will not deny citizenship to anyone fleeing the UNSR, like she did. We have, however, decided to allow her request to be nominated by us. Since she stands no chance. It is always fun to have joke candidates running - adds a little spice to the elections, don’t you think?
But yeah, she will not win. I really don’t think she has it in her, the poor dear. She is losing in first preferences to Biden right now who had no campaign - when the EPA first preferences come in she will be buried.
We would not do any work at all with Čikarová - we will not discuss with anyone who denies us our right to nationhood. Simple as.
The PEL will lose on Friday, most likely fairly badly, and they will have no one to blame but themselves.
Wow, you have not minced your words or held back at all. You really are still that bitch, and we won't forget. Thank you for your insight! Keep winning, queen.
Baby girl, I know. You're welcome.
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Stephanie DeVey: Hello and welcome back ! We have had a few more results in, and Granger is back in the race ! Both PEL candidates are on 9 to their opponents' respective 5 - a lead of 4. Biden no longer has the votes to progress to the second round, and we are unsure if he will get the votes to surpass Granger.
We now speak to the person in the lead for the Premier race - PEL high-up, Sofie Čikarová. Welcome Ms. Čikarová.
Sofie Čikarová: Thanks for having me on the show, Stephanie.
SDV: How confident are you that you will be Premier Commissioner come next Friday ?
SČ: I am fairly confident, I know that me and my supporters did all that is in our power and the results so far are very positive. I of course don't understimate Jean-Claude Juncker, but I certainly wouldn't want to be in his skin right now. Not because he is behind right now, but because he must have come to the sudden realization. EPA in its arrogance had always ignored the people amd their struggles, they always thought it will be possible to just stroke deals with few elites while ignoring the people, and to their horror suddenly the people in many pleces in the Union said enough is enough. They discovered their power, which rightfully terrifies EPA. So we could see Juncker resort to fearmongering, why else would he resort to that if he was not afraid of us? First his accusing of me and the respected Dr. Koline of being "twins" to claiming that without him the Union will "dissaper". "La Union c'est moi!" cries Juncker and it is up to us to respond to tell him that that is not the case. We are the Union. And we won't be silenced or intimidated.
Still, without understimating, it is clear that if Juncker will manage to win, it will happen only because of millions people were silenced, like in the case of Icholasen.SDV: What do you make of the results for Internal Affairs Commissioner ? Do you think you will be able to work effectively as a team with whoever wins, or just Ms. Daggot ?
SČ: I think Piane Daggot is doing wonderful and we have a chance at having an entire Commission that stands up for the people and the sovereign member states. There is no doubt that such Commission would be greatly effective. Ms. Daggot is a fantastic politician and I am very proud that I had the privilige of running alongside her. I think that we during our candidacy showed exellent teamwork and co-operation and I once again urge any who consider to vote for me to vote also for Ms. Daggot. But in a hypothetical scenario I am sure I will be able to co-operate with any possible Internal Affairs Commissioner.
SDV: Your party has never been in office before - are you ready for governance ?
SČ: Absolutely. On the other hand EPA's candidates already were in office and they have proven themselves to never be ready. But I am ready to work closely with the Council and the member states and do my best for the trust that would be put into me.
SDV: There are many governments hostile to you and your agenda - what would you say to them ?
SČ: Let's sit down and talk. I am ready to listen to you and I have my firm beliefs that won't change, you will always know what to expect from me. I am not changing my positions frequently just to attract more popularity. But I am always willing to listen to you and find solution with you together. Nobody will be overlooked.
SDV: And so, to get a better idea of what your Premiership might be like, what will be your first act as Premier ?
SČ: Meet with the Councilors to discuss putting the plan of subsidization of productive forces and essential services into action. It is our duty to pass such a motion to quickly help nations like Alkharya, while also making sure that this plan will work and will nit be punishing towards any country.
But solving the crisis with Icholasen is just as important, I can't tell you when we would solve this crisis but I guarantee to you, that we shall yet see people in Icholasen and close countries like Fremet and Ruthund stand together without any fear of a conflict, enjoying their lives like brothers and sisters.
SDV: And now for a more light-hearted question. You have a cult following around Europe - what is it like being so stanned ? What do you make of the monicker 'Sofierce ?'
SČ: It is a wonderful feeling and it fills me with much joy everytime. The people I meet are always amazing, friendly and welcoming. But this isn't just about me. Our programs resonates with the people, empowers them. Without it there would be no "Sofierce", which is a cute nickname and I am flattered, and it is up to me and you, the listeners to keep this program alive, to not yield. In that we must all, every one of us, remain fierce. Huge thanks to all those who still are with us and who perhaps finally will get to see another, free and inclusive Europe.
SDV: Thank you for coming on the show !
SČ: Thank you very much Stephanie, may you and your audience have a great day. Maybe we will have to have a great four months.
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Tusk and Juncker's Press Conference after the Spaniard defeat on the Premier Elections
Tusk: "There is a lot of damage done to the EPA, and we have 4 months to revert that. But we have had better results than the last time."The myth is over; Juncker was not undefeatable. The Spanish former Internal Affairs Commissioner has been defeated by the Czech candidate from the Party of the European Left, Sophie Čikarová, who has won typical pro-Juncker places like Inquista or Alkharya, with the last onepossibly being won by Juncker if the legislature hadn't voted. It's still unclear what Fremet, the Duxburian Union and Gadalland & Aspern, along with a possible vote from Kaitsja, will do, but we can project (and the European Progressive Alliance does too) that the Party of the European Left will win Permiership, and surely will do the same with the Internal Affairs Commission.
Donald Tusk, the new European Progressive Alliance chairman; and Jean-Claude Juncker, the EPA's Premier Commissioner candidate, have appeared on a Press Conference which wasn't the happiest one that could have been seen in the EPA's history, but it was at least optimistic. Jean-Claude Juncker spoke first, being very critic with himself: "I wasn't fully ready to fight for such an important position, and that can be seen even today. I wasn't 100% ready, but we have still done a huge effort and a nice campaign, even the results aren't the best ones or those we expected. Still, I have made lots of mistakes and not recognising them would be hypocritical. But, at the same time, I believe new things should be done, change should happen and so I will run again in 4 months or less if a by-election takes place. I congratulate Ms. Čikarová for her victory and wish her the best of luck for the upcoming 4 months."
The new chairman and Deputy Speaker of the European Council, Donald Tusk, spoke next: "It is obviously not the expected result, but Jean-Claude has done an amazing and valuable job despite all that took place during the campaign. There's a lot of damage done to the European Progressive Alliance; you don't need to go very far from here, we have lost on many states that previously sided with us. And that is because we haven't known how to manage the party in the opposition. I have recently taken over the group, the atmosphere is sad because we want to win and we have 4 months to revert that. But we cannot forget that the man who ran last time got worse results than those Juncker got at the moment, so it is clear we are seeing some light from the end of the tunnel. We will come back stronger, and now let's see what happens in the IAC race and if we get some happy news."
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The European Progressive Alliance changes its logotype and adds an Eurogroup anthem
The new European Progressive Alliance logotypesThe European Progressive Alliance has started its renewing process after the defeat on the Premier Commissioner race by the Party of the European Left. The first steps of Donald Tusk in this post-Juncker defeat era have been done have been given; and the EPA has decided to change its logotype and add a new anthem. The logotypes, made by an art study on Ibiza, are different to each other: 2 of them have the famous "EPA horse" without any boundary, one of them has the horse inside a circle and the last one misses the horse and puts a heart and some stars (mostly inspired from the European flag) on it.
Apart from these logos, the European Progressive Alliance chairman, Donald Tusk, had ordered the composition of an "EPA Eurogroup anthem" to the Nicoleizian composer Eric Tijnaus. This is a pioneering idea when it comes to Eurogroups, unless you count the Socialist International song as the Party of the European Left anthem. This composition is being used on the EPA main acts, as well as in some adverts from the Eurogroup in the future Commission elections.
In words of Donald Tusk, he says the European Progressive Alliance "needed some sort of update, and this is the first step towards a new EPA"; but it is not what he wants to fix at all. "Renewing the EPA is not about the horse or how we are called, but about the policy we do in the Council, how we focus towards the challenges of the EU and how we adapt to the changes that take place every day. The logos are just a way to modernize the party a little bit." But we will see if the logos work for them.
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2022 Midterms Will Be MK's Nightmare With High Socialist/Left Support Recently After 1st 100 Days In Office
After the upsetting defeat for the European Progressive Alliance that was witnessed in the recent EU Commission Election, this might be the first sign that the 2022 midterm elections for the National Congress will most likely be a nightmare for Mouri-Kudo as she will not the hold that her party has on both Houses of the National Congress mostly. In addition, it might be even worse in the provincial legislature elections that will be happening as well as the popularity of the Progressive Alliance Party in Leagio might actually be shifting to the more left-wing parties like the Socialist Union Party. In fact, the Progressives might possibly be shell-shacked when December 20th, 2022 comes rolling-in because even though the economy has not crashed, certain things are not going in favor of the President during her start of the Administration as several polls are showing that after the first 100 days, Former President Lifejumper was more likeable overall. In his first 100 days, Lifejumper had a 56% likeability as a leader but Mouri-Kudo has 51%. Although, Mouri-Kudo does extremely well in Education, Environment, and Immigration through the management that was done by her administrative cabinet. However, her presidency so fars has only one piece of major legislation which is the Green Transition Act that was witnessed by former Primier Commissioner Candidate Junkcer who won the Leagioan vote in race by not a very healthy margin at all when compared to his victory last year.
When examining the 100 days of the Mouri-Kudo administration, the President suffers in the Jobs sector and economy. The reason is because during her administration, the Leagioan Euro GDP per Capita and National Income declined to an extent due to the policies of the Lifejumper Administration in the economic recovery that came after last year’s crash in February where the administration left the growth to be uncontrollable and resulted in a dent in the economy that started after May of this year. The slight dent to the economy had then slowed down the growth job sectors of the country which resulted in increase of unemployment within the nation with many people, of particularly especially the right-win spectrum, claiming that the Mouri-Kudo administration was committing corruption that resulted in a decrease in the economy. In response to the support that the PEL had in the recent election with the passage of the amendment to the constitution allowing electoral alliances, the Socialist Union Party and the Green Party announced yester that they are currently in very favorable talks of re-establishing the Revolutionary Front Colitation at the moment. It is currently assumed that in a feared response to such an announcement, the Civil Populists and Social Democrats then added a amendment to the initial agreement that Mouri-Kudo had with them on the House of Councilors election reform bill that is still in debate within the House of Councilors, which her party holds with only 223 seats out of 541 meaning that she does not hold a majority like she does in the Senate. The amendment that is being debated is combing the list seats into regions that make up no less than two provinces each. Mouri-Kudo said that she will undoubtly In-Line Veto that piece of the bill if it goes to her office.
The only good thing that will soon be coming to Mouri-Kudo’s desk from both houses will be the Labor Union Civil Rights Bill that will give more civil rights protections to Labor Union and ensuring that unionization elections are monitored by the Common Government. The Bill would also issue harsh punishments on companies that make aggressive threats to its employee on the vote of unionization. This piece of legislation is expected to swing a port of the Center-Left back to the Civil Populists and Progressives, but by how much is unknown at the moment. There are also rumors that Mouri-Kudo is in-talks with the leader of Free Democratic party and the new EU-Councilor for Leagio: Lionel Morel in possibly forming an electoral alliance for 2022 to ensure her security in the National Congress which if held today would undoubtedly be a nightmare for her. In addition, there are on-going political rumors that the pro-unitarist party called the Democratic Leagioan Union is also in those same talks with the President. However, some experts on Leagioan elections of the past say that 2022 will be a nightmare for Mouri-Kudo no matter what she tries to do at this point as recent polling is showing that voter intentions for Left-Wing parties jumped above the Civil Populists when compared to 2020 election that was landslide for the Progressives. In addition, experts explain that 2022 will be a nightmare for Mouri-Kudo as National Congress elections in-between the term of the President has always been moment when the executive loses the legislative branch of the government.
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Shiba Inu Owner Speaks Out: "I Don't Remember and I Don't Care"
In what will amount to a surprise to absolutely no one, Councillors Trympov and Lallana have gone to battle with each other in their first European Council session as colleagues. It only took a matter of days after Cllr. Lallana's election to the European Council for Cllr. Trympov to launch a motion to exclude her from her newfound office, under a bill named the Plastic Surgery Woman (Expulsion from Council) Bill. At the centre of this heated debate between the two dueling councillors lies one massive discrepancy: did Cllr. Lallana secure the deal to walk a Shiba Inu, or was it Piyers Morganov?
The discrepancy dates all the way back to the second season of Cllr. Trympov's The Celebrity Apprentice, which Cllr. Lallana had competed in more than a decade ago. The fifth episode of the season, which ultimately saw Cllr. Lallana fired in the boardroom, focused around the two celebrity teams promoting and undertaking a dog-walking service. Cllr. Lallana claims to have secured the sales of 15 dog-walks, including that of a Shiba Inu, which made her the second best salesperson of her team.
Cllr. Lallana has asserted that she was undeserving of her firing, and has described her termination from her show as a sign of Cllr. Trympov's "lack of judgment." Cllr. Trypov has defended his decision, and has in turn asserted that Cllr. Lallana had overcounted her sales by falsely claiming the sale of the Shiba Inu dog-walk, which he maintains was actually made by Piyers Morganov.
The Europolis Post has managed to track down the owner of this Shiba Inu, who was willing to speak on the incident.
"I don't really remember who approached me first... they both kind of did," the owner told us, "and as for who landed the sale? I don't remember and I don't care. I only remember that they did a terrible job, and it was super expensive. I only agreed because I saw Dennislav Rodmavic was on their team - I should have bought an ice cream instead."
The Europolis Post is happy to confirm that the Shiba Inu in question, Milos, is still alive and is apparently living a happy and healthy life after all these years.
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When will the greatest mystery in European politics be solved?
The mystery of the 30 planes transferred into the ownership of Iberia, leaving no paper trail or documentation whatsoever, nor even evidence of their previous existence as owned by the European Council, has and is a case worthy of Sherlock Holmes. No one in Europe, except perhaps the shareholders of Iberia, Donald Tusk, and Jean-Claude Juncker, who all have hinted at greater knowledge of what happened, seems to know anything about how this occurred - and even those three do not know, or perhaps refuse to tell, the whole story.
But this is no triviality. The 30 planes, in total, had an estimated value of over five billion euros when initially donated - a little under a sixth of the total expenses of the European Union. And yet, it seems, those five billion euros of liquid assets have vanished into thin air. They have, some way or other, found their way into the ownership of Iberia, with no record of the existence of any money or compensation in return. They might say, "oh, it went to the member-states," but not a single member-state, I am sure, ever received any money from the sale. Were the planes merely given away? Or was the money pocketed by those involved in the transfer, whoever they were?
A sixth of the European budget is no joke. A sixth of the European budget could help bankroll the development of many impoverished member-states, with the surplus and rebate remaining entirely unchanged; it could alternatively be given to the EHO, which could use it to help end the transmission of the most dangerous diseases - particularly polio and tuberculosis - where they make their worst impacts; to the Arts Collaboration Fund, to help many more aspiring European artists, to so many organizations for so many different and equally noble purposes. And yet a whole sixth of the European budget has vanished.
We ask where this sixth went. No one has bothered to tell us; no one, in fact, seems to even have bothered to tell the previous owners of the planes, the European Council, about how they were disposed of, except perhaps Councillor Tusk, who seems, again, to know much more than anyone else, with, again, the exceptions of the shareholders of Iberia and Jean-Claude Juncker, about this subject.
We are not merely random people screaming about nonsense; we are European citizens who are demanding to know what has been done with money that should have spent on the people of Europe as a whole. It is our right, surely, in our democratic and just world?
But we also want to seek justice. The taint of illegality seems to hover over the whole process; it is almost blindingly obvious that the resulting funds, if there were any, were misappropriated. We want to know who was responsible for the handover, and want to see these people punished for their wrongdoings - for handing over assets of the EU to a private company without the approval of the EU, and for handling whatever proceeds there were in such an opaque and likely corrupt way.
We demand, in essence, a total solution to this mystery which leaves no doubt and no continued loose ends.
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Kitti Thongthang Sets Paws on Historic Commission Campaign
Among a crowded field of candidates for the Commissioner of the European Union, femboys and catboys everywhere are putting their paws up for the recently announced candidacy of Kitti Thongthang. Thongthang is a Ruthenish media entrepreneur and arts philanthropist who is widely credited as the pioneer of Ruthenish anime. Thongthang popularised the animation style in Ruthund through his own anime studio, and through his own philanthropic initiatives, such as his Anime Artists of Ruthund fellowship, which has trained over 100 new anime artists to date.
However, Thongthang has now made a larger splash in civil rights circles, after campaigning for femboys and catboys to be protected classes against discrimination in Ruthund during the 2018 mayoral election in Kazmurbirhaz. In 2020, Thongthang bravely announced that he was a transracial Asian, and has since faced continued discrimination against his professed identity. Thongthang is the first ever openly transracial candidate to run for the European Commission.
Dr. Octavia Sozellus, the director of Central Mediterranean University's Department of Sociology, named Kitti Thongthang as "the most visible and vocal leader of the burgeoning First Wave of the Femboyist Movement". Dr. Sozellus further noted that "femboys and catboys remain an oppressed class across the European Union, and the European Union has done little to recognise or enshrine their rights into European law. Femboys and catboy are particularly oppressed in Inquista, where they still face significant societal ostracization and social stigmatization, as well as systemic and institutional barriers and prejudices."
Inquista is still mostly socially homogenous, with an estimated 69.69% of the population identifying as either himbos or bimbos, which jointly form the primary social identity of the country. Consequently, many femboys and catboys report feelings of being socially and politically invisible, with their lack of political capital resulting in a lack of government resources and legal protections. There is widespread consensus among Inquistan political scientists that Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg managed to stage her political rise on her ability to unite and galvanize support between himbos and bimbos, and she has since put them at the forefront of her political agenda, as seen through her her universal hair and bodycare legislation. Powerful himbo and bimbo lobby groups, such as the Alliance of Bretts, Chads and Dylans (ABCD), have made themselves bedfellows with the Archbishop, and have also used their power to halt progress for other social groups. As a result, femboys and catboys are further on the political margins than ever before.
It is therefore no surprise that these disillusioned, underrepresented and disenfranchised social sectors of Inquista - and beyond, across Europe - will be excited about Thongthang's European Commission candidacy, who offers their first chance for political representation. The European Union's Universal Decleration of Human Rights offers ample ground for Thongthang to push through his protections and recognition of femboy and catboy rights.
Thongthang also stands for a quickly growing group: transracial Asians. Asianization procedures in Reitzmag have not only become common for local residents, but also for many Europeans abroad. Many transracial Asians have gone to Reitzmag to have their Asianization procedures done at regular plastic surgery clinics**, only to return home where their newly-affirmed identity faces denial, leading to further obstacles of discrimination.
Despite the widespread popularity of Asianization procedures, and the growing numbers of transracial people, the European Union has not updated any legal protections or recognitions within Euopean law. The European Health Organization is also yet to address the topic.
Park Jimin, one of the seven members of BTS, and private pilot of Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg, recently went through his own Asianization process, and has been vocal about the European Union's lack of recognition and addressment of his community's status. Park Jimin has endorsed Kitti Thongthang's campaign for Internal Affairs.
**Editor's note: The Europolis Post apologises for using the term 'Asianization clinics', which is an offensive and derogatory term for regular plastic surgery clinics. We have adjusted our language accordingly, and will refrain from repeating this mistake in the future. This is not it, this is not the tweet. We will do better.
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Predictions for the Next Commission Election
The Europolis Post predicts that the EPA will win the seat of Premier Commissioner, but that the seat of Internal Affairs Commissioner will be a tossup between Joe Biden and Paul-Gabrielle Muzhare. The PEL will be left effectively devastating, embarrassing especially in the wake of their recent historical election.
PREMIER COMMISSIONER
Safe - PEL
The PEL is expected to hold Fremet, Inquista, Istkalen, Czech Slavia, and Vayinaod in terms of first preferences, and win as second preference in the UD, Pravoslaviya, Reitzmag, Ruthund, and the Duxburian Union; it will thus be eliminated in the first round. Inquista, Fremet, and Vayinaod will deliver second preferences for the PEL; Istkalen and Czech Slavia for the ELSS.
Safe - ELSS
The ELSS is expected to gain the UD, Pravoslaviya, Reitzmag, Ruthund, Leagio, and the Duxburian Union, as well as win second preference in Mennrimiak, Czech Slavia, Ruthund, and Istkalen. The ELSS has been particularly strong on sovereignty, an important point for the four countries it is expected to win, as well as those it is expected to win second preference in; however, its candidates are disadvantaged by their violent and incoherent rhetoric. Due to transfer from the PEL, it is expected to lose.
Safe - EPA
The EPA is expected to win in Spain, Montenbourg, Nofoaga, Brickston, Yosai, Icholasen, and Gadalland and Aspern, nations in which it is expected to establish a stable constituency in, but not expand from, for reasons that we do not fully understand, but likely due to the neoliberal position of the EPA. It is likely to win second preferences in Fremet, Vayinaod, and Inquista for similar reasons.
Safe - Independents
Independent candidates are expected to win in Mennrimiak, for the sole reason that they hail from that nation.
Internal Affairs Commissioner
Safe - PEL
The PEL is predicted to win first preferences in Czech Slavia and Istkalen. Kalessed is far weaker a candidate, as she is not as charasmatic and is also surrounded by significantly more experienced or well-backed opponents; the PEL is thus likely to be eliminated in the first round.
Safe - ELSS affiliated
The ELSS is predicted to win first preferences in the Duxburian Union, Reitzmag, Pravoslaviya and the UD, due to its positions on sovereignty, and will receive second preferences from the PEL.
Safe - EPA affiliated
The EPA is predicted to win Spain, Nofoaga, Gadalland and Aspern, Yosai, and Montenbourg, due to their centrist position and support for neoliberalism, as well as rabid anti-communism.
Safe - Independent
Independent candidates are expected to win in Brickston, Mennrimiak, and Gania, for the sole reason that they hail from those nations. Second preferences will go to the EPA, with the exception of that from Mennrimiak, which will go to the ELSS.
Toss-up: leaning PEL
The sole toss-up leaning towards the PEL is Fremet, which has been gradually moving to the left, and has felt distanced by the EPA and the ELSS.
Toss-up: leaning EPA
Toss-ups leaning towards the EPA include Inquista and Vayinaod, which might feel that all other candidates are too distant. Vayinaod, however, may also go for an independent candidate.
Toss-up: unknown
The only toss-up where all candidates have an equal chance of being elected is Ruthund.
The Kingdom of Spain
