Paloma Faith VS. Jeanne Kaushuronu
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Following the decision of the court's standing majority at the time (Chief Justice REGALENA, Justice RINDER, AL-KAHINA, LORENZEN), the court has made the decision to accept the petition by Paloma Faith. The petition presented that UNSR is not the legitimate successor to Icholasen's EV record and should not be allowed to compete in the 38th edition of EuroVoice Song Contest in Angleter, according to Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen Act. This case shall now be considered open, and shall follow the various proceedings as set by regional European Law. Due to the status of Paloma Faith as the petitioner, she shall present her opening statement first. We the court, also request that the petitionee, Jeanne Kaushuronu, dutifully send representation to these hearings in a quick, and precise manner. Once Ms Faith has finished her opening statement, Ms Kaushuronu shall be invited to present theirs.
You may begin now, Ms Faith.
Luka REGALENA
Chief Justice of the European Court of Justice -
Paloma’s Opening Statement:
Justices, what more to life is there than Eurovoice? Not much I hear you say. I have dedicated my life to this competition and the UNSR and Ms. Kaushuronu are determined to steal it from me. I mean Icholasen. Icholasen has a proud history at the contest and a legitimate one. I’m going to break my reason for petition down into two parts. Firstly I’m going to discuss the fact the UNSR is not the legitimate successor to Icholasen's EV record and then talk about my reasonings for the fact that the UNSR should not be allowed to compete in the next Eurovoice in Angleter.
Icholasen's Eurovoice record is one of the best in Europe - and that's on periodt. It doesn't mean we won a lot, it means we've taken part a lot and had some strong running up finishes. We would also never penalise anyone if they didn't score high enough."
"OBJECTION!" Jeanne Kaushuronu shouted. "Your ministry is known for heinous crimes!"
"Now, my dear." Said Paloma Faith, smiling as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. "Let me finish my opening statement so you can finish yours." Paloma recomposed herself. "We are a fair ministry with no controversies. And that's also on periodt, your honour. The UNSR doesn't deserve this uncontroversial, great record that I and the free government of Icholasen has worked so hard to get."
"Now the second part of this trial is also important. Whether the UNSR should be able to field candidates to Eurovoice. Now, I would welcome a challenge. But since only one of us can represent Icholasen at Eurovoice, then it has to be Free Icholasen. It just has to be. The EU recognises Free Icholasen as the successor of the United Dominions of Icholasen, not the UNSR. That's just the law as per the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen Act (2020). If the law changes, then absolutely. But it won't. Thank you justices."
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Thank you, Ms. Faith. Ms. Kaushuronu, you may now begin.
Luka REGALENA
Chief Justice of the European Court of Justice -
Jeanne's Opening Statement:
"Justices, Comrades. Today I am here to present our case to this body that the UNSR is the rightful successor of Icholasen in Eurovoice and we should both get their record and also be allowed to compete in Eurovoice. This is because the EUBC is a private organisation and does not have to correspond with the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen Act (2020) and neither should it let a country without territory compete. If so, where would that Eurovoice take place? It would be far simpler to allow the UNSR to compete than to force Europe's imperial will on a private body. How could you live with yourselves if you interfered in a private enterprise? The UNSR would never.
In addition, the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen Act (2020) calls the Union of Nicoleizian Socialist Republics the United Nicoleizian Socialist Republics. The name changed a few weeks ago. This, for all intents and purposes, leaves the bill null and void and this is the only argument that Ms. Faith even has.
So, in conclusion, if so-called Free Icholasen is allowed to compete it A) won't have anywhere to host the contest and B) we consider the Condemnation of the Coup in Icholasen Act (2020) completely void. Sad!"
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Thank you, Ms. Kaushuronu. I must, however, ask a couple of questions before we continue;
The first question is, you have interrupted Ms. Faith's opening statement, saying that the Nicolezian Ministry of EuroVoice is "known for their heinous crimes". This is a very serious claim. Do you have any evidence to prove this, Ms. Kaushuronu? You may answer now.
Luka REGALENA
Chief Justice of the European Court of Justice -
Jeanne Kaushuronu:
"The evidence is - where is Doc Mustard? He hasn't been seen for over 3 years after he came 11th in Eurovoice. We, uhh, raided, the Air Icholasen offices and found out that the Ministry of Eurovoice's bank account booked 12 seats in a plane to the Sahwari Union and only 11 back. They killed him out there."
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Thank you, Ms. Kaushuronu. Ms. Faith, do you have any evidence to debunk Kaushuronu's claim? You may answer now.
Luka REGALENA
Chief Justice of the European Court of Justice -
Paloma Faith:
"I actually didn't go back to Icholasen after our little trip. I was hanging out with Queen Irene before she was Queen."
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Thank you, Ms. Faith. I am now giving permission to speak to Ms. Kaushuronu. You may start now.
Luka REGALENA
Chief Justice of the European Court of Justice -
As the Claimaint, Paloma Faith, has withdrawn her petition to this court, both parties have requested this case be closed in hope that an external settlement can be reached.
As such, the European Court of Justice, at the request of the Claimant and Respondent, has suspended all further hearings pertaining to Paloma Faith's petition and thereby CLOSES this session of court.
Clerk of Court of the European Court of Justice